Landscape vs Portrait 

Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, Sept 12

Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
Ohio duo overdosed in traffic, with child in car.
Details at Boneheads
Today, September 12, in 
1873 The first practical typewriter was sold to customers.

See More of what happened on this day in history.

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______________________________________________________ Everything starts as somebody's daydream. --- Larry Niven ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Trisha was summoned to court to appear as a witness in a lawsuit. The prosecutor opened his questioning with, "Where were you the night of August 24th?" "Objection!" said the defense attorney. "Irrelevant!" "Oh, that's like OK, you know," Trisha called from the witness stand. "I don't, like mind, you know, like answering that question." "I object!" the defense said again. "No, really," Trisha said. "I'll, like, answer, you know." The judge ruled: "If the witness insists on answering, there is no reason for the defense to object." So the prosecutor repeated the question: "Where were you the night of August 24th?" Trisha brightly replied: "I, like, you know, don't know." ______________________________________________________ >From Edna My first grade daughter and her friend both needed new boots as winter approached. The friend got in the car one morning and finally had gotten her boots. "Tina," I commented, "I see you got new boots! Where did you get them?" "At the store," she answered. "Which one?" I asked. She began looking at her new boots and after a pause said, "Both of them!" ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Rhonda Pasek, 50, James Acord, 47, East Liverpool, Ohio Ohio duo overdosed in traffic, with child in car. Woman's son, 4, was seated in rear of SUV during traffic stop In an effort to highlight the heroin epidemic gripping the country, an Ohio police department has released photos showing an overdosed couple sitting in a vehicle while the unconscious passenger’s four-year-old son looked on from the back seat. According to a police report, a cop Wednesday afternoon spotted a Ford Explorer “weaving back and forth” across the roadway in East Liverpool, a city bordering Pennsylvania and West Virginia. When the officer subsequently approached the SUV--which had drifted to a stop--he noted that driver James Acord’s head was “bobbing back and forth” and his “speech was almost unintelligible.” Acord, 47, said that he was transporting his front seat passenger, Rhonda Pasek, to the hospital, reported Officer Kevin Thompson, who added that the 50-year-old Pasek was “completely unconscious and turning blue.” Pasek’s son was in a car seat behind his mother, who was slumped over. Acord himself “eventually went completely unconscious,” noted Thompson, who sought to “keep [Pasek’s] airway open” until rescue workers arrived. EMS workers subsequently treated Acord and Pasek with “several rounds” of the drug Narcan, which “is commonly used to reverse an opiate overdose.” The couple regained consciousness and were transported to a local hospital for further treatment. A search of the vehicle turned up a folded piece of paper containing a “pink powdery substance” that was sent to a crime lab for analysis. Acord, charged with child endangerment and driving under the influence, yesterday pleaded guilty to both counts and was sentenced to a year in jail. Pasek, who is locked up in the Columbiana County jail, is facing child endangerment and disorderly conduct/intoxication charges. Court records list separate addresses in New Cumberland, West Virginia for Acord and Pasek. Pasek’s son, who was wearing a dinosaur shirt, was placed in the custody of child welfare officials. In a statement, East Liverpool officials said that the release of the overdose photos was “necessary to show the other side of this horrible drug. We feel we need to be a voice for the children caught up in this horrible mess. This child can't speak for himself but we are hopeful his story can convince another user to think twice about injecting this poison while having a child in their custody.” ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: BB RE: Portrait versus Landscape Dear Webby, English is not my first language, and I have never understood what "Landscape" and "Portrait" mean, when it comes to printing. Can you explain please? Thanks BB Dear BB Those terms come actually from the ancient museums and picture galleries. A pitcure with a formal portrait of a person standing was always narrow and tall, often from floor to ceiling. A landscape picture was always wide, but not very high. Word processing, for example letters, is done in portrait mode. Accounting, because there are often many columns to show, is usually done in landscape mode. You still feed the paper into the printer normally, you just turn it sideways to read it. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ From Bess My engineer husband is meticulous but mildmannered. While our new house was being built, he would leave notes for the workmen, politely calling their attention to mistakes or oversights. Two weeks before we were to move in, the floors still were not finished, the bathrooms not tiled, nor were necessary fixtures installed. I was sure that the work would never be completed in time. However, on moving day, we found that the house was ready to receive us. Curious as to how this miracle had been accomplished, I went and checked where my husband always left his notes for the workmen. Posted prominently on the living room wall was my husband's last note: "After September 1, all work will be supervised by my 5 children and my very impatient wife."
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Daily tip from Easy Ricotta Pancakes By attosa [238 Posts, 538 Comments] This is my version of silky, delicious ricotta pancakes without having to separate the eggs to create volume. They have become a favourite with everyone I've served them to. It's hard to go back to regular pancakes after a taste of these, and now, they're not so hard to make! Prep Time: 5 minutes Cook Time: 6 minutes Yield: 8 pancakes Ingredients: 1 cup ricotta cheese 1 cup all purpose flour 1 tsp baking powder 2 Tbsp sugar 1/4 tsp salt 3/4 cup milk 2 large eggs 1/2 tsp vanilla extract butter/oil for cooking Steps: Whisk flour, baking powder, sugar, and salt in a bowl. Mix ricotta, milk, eggs, and vanilla in another bowl until very smooth. Add the dry ingredients to the wet mixture. Stir until combined. Heat a nonstick pan over medium high heat. Melt some butter or a tiny bit of oil in the pan and swirl to cover surface. Pour about 1/4 to 1/3 cup amounts per pancake. Cook the pancakes for about 3 minutes per side. They should be golden. Serve with maple syrup. I prefer fresh lemon juice and powdered sugar.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Thanks to Red for this one: Some time back, my cousin, Steve moved to a new apartment. Steve had a business commitment out of town that weekend and so I and my three brothers all chipped in to help his wife move the furniture. The new apartment was on the third floor. We hauled everything up the three flights of stairs and around the tight corner through the kitchen put them where they belonged. Finally, we came to the large couch. After hauling it up three flights to the top of the stairs, we discovered it would not go around the corner through the kitchen. We took it back out into the hall and turned it and tried again. It still wouldn't fit. Finally all of us boosted the couch from the back of the truck up the side of the building. From the third floor, we passed the couch up and over the railing of the tiny balcony and in through the sliding doors into the living room. We all collapsed on the couch to catch our breath and made a pact that we would not tell Steve how we got the couch into the apartment. "The next time he moves," we conspired, "he will have to figure out how to get the couch out of there on his own. It will be our little secret. He will have to take a saw to it!" As luck would have it, Steve found a place he liked better about three months later. It really was a busy weekend at work, and none of us were available to help move. We waited eagerly to hear from Steve but there was nothing. Finally, after several days of waiting, I asked Steve, "So, did you get everything moved OK?" "Sure," he replied. "Did you run into any problems?" "No, none at all." "Now, wait a minute, we had to drag the couch up the outside of the building and haul it over the railing! How did you get it out of the living room? It didn't fit through the kitchen!" Steve looked at me with total disbelief and said, "Geez, you idiots, the legs unscrew!" ___________________________________________________
swans surfing in Australia
____________________________________________________ >From Ed A few years ago I went to visit my brother who was stationed in Germany. I assumed that enough Germans would speak English so that I could at least get around. But I found that many people spoke only their native tongue - including the ticket inspector on the train. He punched my ticket, then chatted cordially for a bit, making gestures like a windmill. I just nodded from time to time to show him that I was interested. When he had gone, an American woman soldier in the compartment leaned forward and asked if I spoke German. "No," I confessed. "Then that explains," she said, "why you didn't bat an eyelid when he told you that you were on the wrong train going in the wrong direction." ____________________________________________________ A young man was talking to a girl that he had just met, and asked her name. "I don't want to tell you," she said, "I'm named after both of my parents, and it's kind of embarrassing." "Well, what could be so bad about that?" the young man asked. "My mother's name is Eliza, and my father's name is Ferdinand." the girl answered. "Well, those are nice names" the guy replied. "It would be, if they wouldn't have named me FerdEliza!" ____________________________________________________
I used to roller skate. Wondering if I could do this.....NO WAY!

Today on September 12 in

1609 English explorer Henry Hudson sailed down what is now
known as the Hudson River. 

1873 The first practical typewriter was sold to customers. 

1878 Patent litigation involving the Bell Telephone Company
against Western Union Telegraph Company and Elisha Gray
began. The issues were over various telephone patents. 

1914 The first battle of Marne ended when the allied forces
stopped the German offensive in France. 

1916 Adelina and August Van Buren finished the first
successful transcontinental motorcycle tour to be attempted
by two women. They started in New York City on July 5, 1916. 

1918 During World War I, At the Battle of St. Mihiel, U.S.
Army personnel operated tanks for the first time. The tanks
were French-built. 

1922 The Episcopal Church removed the word "Obey" from the
bride's section of wedding vows. 

1938 In a speech, Adolf Hitler demanded self-determination
for the Sudeten Germans in Czechoslovakia. 

1940 The Lascaux paintings were discovered in France. The
cave paintings were 17,000 years old and were some of the
best examples of art from the Paleolithic period. 

1943 During World War II, Benito Mussolini was taken by
German paratroopers from the Italian government that was
holding him. 

1944 U.S. Army troops entered Germany, near Trier, for the
first time during World War II. 

1953 U.S. Senator John F. Kennedy married Jacqueline Lee

1953 Nikita Krushchev was elected as the first secretary of
the Communist Party of the Soviet Union. 

1954 "Lassie" made its television debut on CBS. The last show
aired on September 12, 1971. 

1963 The last episode of "Leave it to Beaver" was aired. The
show had debuted on October 4, 1957. 

1974 Violence occurred on the opening day of classes in
Boston, MA, due opposition to court-ordered school "busing." 

1974 Emperor Haile Selassie was taken out of power by
Ethiopia's military after ruling for 58 years. 

1977 South African anti-apartheid activist Stephen Biko died
at the age of 30. The student leader died while in police
custody which triggered an international outcry. 

1983 Arnold Schwarzenegger became a U.S. citizen. He had
emigrated from Austria 14 years earlier. 

1991 The space shuttle Discovery took off on a mission to
deploy an observatory that was to study the Earth's ozone

1992 Police in Peru captured Shining Path founder Abimael

1992 Dr. Mae Carol Jemison became the first African-American
woman in space. She was the payload specialist aboard the
space shuttle Endeavor. Also onboard were Mission Specialist
N. Jan Davis and Air Force Lieutenant Colonel Mark C. Lee.
They were the first married couple to fly together in space.
And, Mamoru Mohri became the first Japanese person to fly
into space. 

2009 Steve Jobs announced that Apple's iTunes had 88% of the
legal U.S. music download market.

2016  smiled.

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