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Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, Sept 17

Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
North Carolina Mother And Son Face Felony Incest Charges
Details at Boneheads
Today, September 17, in 
1394 In France, Charles VI published an ordinance that
expelled all Jews from France. 

See More of what happened on this day in history.

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______________________________________________________ He who praises you for what you lack wishes to take from you what you have. --- Don Juan Manuel (1282 - 1349) The noblest of all dogs is the hot-dog; it feeds the hand that bites it. --- Laurence J. Peter, 1919 - 1990 ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Q: How can you tell the married men at a wedding reception? A: They're the ones dancing with everyone but their wives. Q: What is a wedding tragedy? A: To marry a man for love, and then find out he has no money. Q: How do I make my wife stop buying all these gloves? A: Buy her a nice ring. Q: What's long and hard and a Polish man gives it to his bride on their wedding night? A: A last name. ______________________________________________________ A drunk goes to the doctor complaining of tiredness and headaches. "I feel tired all the time, my head hurts, I've got a sore butt, and I'm not sleeping. What is it, Doc?" The doctor examines him thoroughly and says, "I can't find anything wrong. It must be the drinking." "Fair enough," replied the lush. "I'll come back after you sober up." ______________________________________________________ Yesterday's Pictrue was indeed from and by Betty on Vancouver island. Thanks Betty! Cape Elizabeth, Maine From FB ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Melissa Nell Kitchens, 44, Shaun Thomas Pfeiffer, 25, Weaverville, North Carolina North Carolina Mother And Son Face Felony Incest Charges North Carolina woman, 45, arrested for having sex with 25- year-old son A mother and son in Buncombe County, North Carolina, were arrested last week on charges of felony incest. Arrest warrants allege that Melissa Nell Kitchens, 44, of Weaverville, engaged in sex sometime last month with her son Shaun Thomas Pfeiffer, 25, last month. If convicted, each person could spend up to three years in jail, according to the New York Daily News. Pfeiffer was previously arrested on August 28 for various charges including indecent liberties with a child stemming from an incident that took place Aug. 13, as well as communicating threats, and being intoxicated and disruptive, according to Jail records show that both suspects are being held at the Buncombe County Jail. Kitchens is being held on a $5,000 bail bond, while Pfeiffer’s bail has been set at $70,500. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Evan RE: Free Virus Scanner Dear Webby, Do you know of a free virus scan that can be used quickly without a big insatallation? Evan Dear Evan There are a lot of anti virus products, that are not good enough to sell for actual money. If you don't have any credit card or financial information or anything important on you machine, try AVG. Personally, I use McAfee. With this link you get 50% off. Have FUN! DearWebby Saw a funny bumper sticker today: Womens Libbers may not be cuter but they sure are much funnier
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Daily tip from Using Leftover Pieces of Soap By Nana Lee [6 Posts, 3 Comments] I keep those slivers of soap in my sewing box. The skinny, thin slivers work great for marking my seam, or to make an X on the material. It washes off so easily. I've used it for crafts, or for sewing. It is also good to rub over itchy seams made by thick thread or those itchy tags. Just rub it over the itchy spot and it smooths it where it doesn't irritate your skin. By Nana Lee
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
The CIA loses track of one of its operatives, and so calls in one of their top spy hunters. The CIA boss says, "All I can tell you is that his name is Murphy and that he's somewhere in Ireland. If you think you've located him, tell him the code words, 'The weather forecast calls for mist in the morning.' If it's really him, he'll answer, 'Yes, and for mist at noon as well.'" So the spy hunter goes to Ireland and stops in a pub in Dublin. He says to the bartender, "Maybe you can help me. I'm looking for a guy named Murphy." The bartender replies, "You're going to have to be more specific because, around here, there are lots of guys named Murphy. There's Murphy the Baker, who runs the pastry shop on the next block. There's Murphy the Banker, who's president of our local savings bank. There's Murphy the Blacksmith, who works at the stables. And, as a matter of fact, my name is Murphy, too." Hearing this, the spy hunter figures he might as well try the code words on bartender, so he says, "The weather forecast calls for mist in the morning." The bartender replies, "Oh, you're looking for Murphy the Spy. He lives right down the street. He usually doesn't come in here till around 8 PM, but he is on vacation in Honduras. Try any of the hotels in Tegucigulpa that have topless waitresses during Happy Hour."
cats - brain freeze
____________________________________________________ Gary and Bill had been called to their companys head office in New York for a pep talk and party. As they staggered out of the party, Bill started crossing the street, while Gary accidently stumbled into a subway entrance. When Bill reached the other side he turned to notice Gary emerging from the subway stairs. "Where've you been?" Bill slurred. "I don't know" replied Gary "but you should see the train set that guy has in his basement!" ____________________________________________________ In a small town in the US, there is a rather sizable factory that hires only married men. Concerned about this, a local woman called on the manager and asked him, "Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you think women are weak, dumb, cantankerous...or what?" "Not at all, Ma'am," the manager replied. "It is because our employees are used to obeying orders, are accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut, and don't pout when I yell at them." ____________________________________________________
The 2016 National Geographic Nature Photographer of the Year Contest.

Today on September 17 in
1394 In France, Charles VI published an ordinance that
expelled all Jews from France. 

1778 The United States signed its first treaty with a Native
American tribe, the Delaware Nation. 

1787 The Constitution of the United States of America was
signed by delegates at the Constitutional Convention. 

1862 The Battle of Antietam took place during the American
Civil War. More than 23,000 men were killed, wounded, or
missing. The Rebel advance was ended with heavy losses to
both armies. 

1872 Phillip W. Pratt patented a version of the sprinkler

1911 The first transcontinental airplane flight started. It
took C.P. Rogers 82 hours to fly from New York City to
Pasadena, CA. 

1930 Construction on Boulder Dam, later renamed Hoover Dam,
began in Black Canyon, near Las Vegas, NV. 

1932 Sir Malcolm Campbell set a speed record when he reached
276.27 mph over a half mile. 

1939 The Soviet Union invaded Poland. Germany had invaded
Poland on September 1. 

1944 Operation "Market Garden" was launched by Allied
paratroopers during World War II. The landing point was
behind German lines in the Netherlands. 

1962 U.S. space officials announced the selection of Neil A.
Armstrong and eight others as new astronauts. 

1972 "M*A*S*H" premiered on CBS-TV. 

1976 NASA unveiled the space shuttle Enterprise in Palmdale,

1984 9,706 immigrants became naturalized citizens when they
were sworn in by U.S. Vice-President George Bush in Miami,
FL. It was the largest group to become U.S. citizens. 

1984 Gordon P. Getty was named the richest person in the U.S.
His fortune was $4.1 billion. 

1988 Lt. Gen. Prosper Avril declared himself president of
Haiti after President Henri Hamphy was ousted. 

1991 The United Nations General Assembly opened its 46th
session. The new members were Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania,
North and South Korea, Micronesia and the Marshall Islands. 

1992 Lawrence Walsh called a halt to his probe of the Iran-
Contra scandal. The investigation had lasted 5 1/2 years. 

1995 Hong Kong held its last legislative election before
being taken over by China in 1997. 

1997 Northern Ireland's main Protestant party joined in peace
talks. It was the first time that all of the major players
had come together. 

1998 The United States government offered a reward for the
capture of Haroun Fazil for his role in the U.S. Embassy
bombing in Kenya on August 7, 1998. 

1998 The U.S. announced a plan that would compensate victims
in the Kenya and Tanzania U.S. Embassy bombings on August 7,

2016  smiled.

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