ALT key combos 





Good Morning, ,

Today is Sunday, Sept 25

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Convicted Drug Dealer Leads Police On Pursuit And 
Crashes Into Kmart
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, September 25, in 
1493 Christopher Columbus left Spain with 17 ships 
on his second voyage to the Western Hemisphere. 

See More of what happened on this day in history.

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is brave five minutes longer. --- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882) Money is like a sixth sense without which you cannot make a complete use of the other five. --- W. Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965) Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't. --- Mark Twain ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The worried housewife sprang to the telephone when it rang and listened with relief to the kindly voice in her ear. "How are you, darling?" it said. "What kind of a day are you having?" "Oh, mother," said the housewife, breaking into bitter tears, "I've had such a bad day. The baby won't eat and the washing machine broke down. I haven't had a chance to go shopping, and besides, I've just sprained my ankle and I have to hobble around. On top of that, the house is a mess and I'm supposed to have two couples to dinner tonight." The mother was shocked and was at once all sympathy. "Oh, darling," she said, "sit down, relax, and close your eyes. I'll be over in half an hour. I'll do your shopping, clean up the house, and cook your dinner for you. I'll feed the baby and I'll call a repairman I know who'll be at your house to fix the washing machine promptly. Now stop crying. I'll do everything. In fact, I'll even call George at the office and tell him he ought to come home and help out for once." "George?" said the housewife. "Who's George?" "Why, George! Your husband!....Is this 223-1374?" "No, this is 223-1375." "Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I have the wrong number." There was a short pause and the housewife said, "Does this mean you're not coming over?" ______________________________________________________ 2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99 ______________________________________________________ >From Elsa I couldn't decide whether to go to Salt Lake City or Denver for vacation, so I called the airlines to get prices. "Air- fare to Denver is $300," said a cheery salesperson. "And what about Salt Lake City?" "We have a really great rate to Salt Lake--$99.00, but there is a stopover." "Where?" I asked. "Denver." ______________________________________________________ Ukrainian Birches ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and a Darwin Award has been earned by Anthony Barasky, 26, Philadelphia, PA Convicted Drug Dealer Leads Police On Pursuit And Crashes Into Kmart A convicted drug dealer was arrested this afternoon after fleeing from police and crashing his vehicle into Kmart in Loyalsock Township. According to State Police in Montoursville, Anthony Barasky, 26, of Philadelphia, was driving a black Dodge Durango east on High Street near Herdic Place around 12:25 p.m. September 19 while an officer was on patrol in the area. The officer recognized Barasky as being involved in a recent vehicle pursuit in the City of Williamsport in the same vehicle, and knew that he did not have a valid driver's license. The officer activated his lights and sirens in an attempt to pull over Barasky, but Barasky turned north onto Campbell Street and accelerated while passing on the left in a no passing zone toward oncoming traffic. He then turned east onto Louisa Street and traveled at speeds in excess of 80 miles per hour as he blew past several stop signs. Barasky's vehicle went airborne while he was traveling at high speeds. Due to the high rate of speed and time of the day, the officer decided to terminate the pursuit for fear of innocent people getting hurt. A second officer observed the Durango traveling at a high rate of speed at Northway Road and Northway Road Extension, and tried to pull him over but Barasky continued to flee. As the second officer pursued him, Barasky went through the red light at Four Mile Drive and Northway Road causing vehicles to scatter. Barasky then drove past Loyalsock Township High School where he allegedly disposed of 70 bags of heroin on the road in front of the school. Barasky continued the pursuit down Sheridan Street and then Homewood Avenue before crashing the front end of the Durango into a western concrete block wall at Kmart, where the children's department is located. A witness saw Barasky flee the scene on foot through the Kmart/Giant Plaza toward Staples. He disposed of nine bags of heroin in a garbage can in front of Staples while running through. Barasky attempted to jump a rear fence at Willard's on Westminster Drive and was then taken into custody in the parking lot. Law enforcement recovered the bags of heroin when canvasing the area shortly after the pursuit. At the time of arrest, Barasky had on him $500, two cellular phones and two additional cellular phones that were found in the crashed Durango. A test of Barasky's hands revealed the presence of heroin. He was charged with possession with intent to deliver heroin, fleeing or attempting to elude police, hit and run and approximately 20 other traffic summary offeneses. Barasky was arrainged before Distrist Magistrate Gary Whiteman and jailed on $250,000 bail. Barasky is on parole in Pennsylvania in connection with a drug delivery charge he was convicted on in 2009. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Scotty RE: ALT keys Dear Webby, I tried punchin on alt on my keyboard and nuthin' happened. As you can see, I am not a PC whiz Scotty Dear Scotty Hold down the ALT key, and without letting go, hit the first of the underlined keys. To for example save a file as a new file do this: ALT (hold down, don't let go) F ( File ) let go of both ALT and F A (save As) type in the new file name ENTER The same applies to all top menu items, that have an underlined letter. Have FUN! DearWebby A church had a man in the choir who couldn't sing. Several people hinted to him that he could serve in other places, but he continued to come to the choir. The choir director became desperate and went to the pastor. "You've got to get that man out of the choir," he said. "If you don't, I'm going to resign. The choir members are going to quit too. Please do something." So the pastor went to the man and suggested, "Perhaps you should leave the choir." "Why should I get out of the choir?" he asked. "Well, five or six people have told me you can't sing." That's nothing," the man snorted. "Fifty people have told me that you can't preach!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Lemon Curd Tart I make my own curd and this is the recipe from my own recipe book. Beat 2 eggs and 2 egg yolks until frothy. Gradually beat in 1/2 cup sugar until thick and pale. Mix in 1/2 cup strained lemon juice and the grated rind of 2 lemons. Cook in a heavy saucepan over a low heat and stir constantly with a wooden spoon until the mixture thickens and coats the back of the spoon. Remove from the heat and beat in 125 g chilled unsalted butter with the wooden spoon. Place in sterilized jars and refrigerate By Tandy
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness and today is the happiest day of her life," her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple. The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "Then, why's the groom wearing black?"
the tablet - I want one!
____________________________________________________ A little old lady buys a pair of parrots, but cannot identify their sexes. She calls the shop, and the man there advises her to watch them carefully and all would become clear in time. She spends weeks staring at the cage and eventually catches them doing what comes naturally. To make sure she doesn't get them mixed up again, she cuts out a ring from a piece of cardboard and puts it round the male parrot's neck. A while later, the local priest visits the old lady. The male parrot takes one look at the father's collar, wolf whistles, and says, "I see she caught YOU, too." ____________________________________________________ Thanks to Anna for this one: My son, Mitchell, a kindergartener, practices spelling with magnetic letters on the refrigerator: "cat," "dog," "dad," and "mom" have been proudly displayed for all to see. One morning while getting ready for the day, Mitchell bounded into the room with his arms outstretched. In his hands were three magnetic letters: G-O-D. "Look what I spelled, Mom!" Mitch exclaimed, a proud smile on his face. "That's wonderful!" I said. "Now go put them on the fridge so Dad can see when he gets home tonight." That Christian education is certainly having an impact, I thought, happily. Just then, a little voice called from the kitchen. "Mom? How do you spell 'zilla?'" ____________________________________________________
Longest running battery ever.
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Today on September 25 in
1492 The crew of the Pinta, one of Christopher Columbus'
ships, mistakenly thought that they had spotted land. 

1493 Christopher Columbus left Spain with 17 ships on his
second voyage to the Western Hemisphere. 

1513 The Pacific Ocean was discovered by Spanish explorer
Vasco Nunez de Balboa when he crossed the Isthmus of Panama.
He named the body of water the South Sea. He was truly just
the first European to see the Pacific Ocean. 

1775 Ethan Allen was captured by the British during the
American Revolutionary War. He was leading the attack on
Montreal. 

1789 The first U.S. Congress adopted 12 amendments to the
Constitution. Ten of the amendments became the Bill of
Rights. 

1847 During the Mexican-American War, U.S. forces led by
General Zachary Taylor captured Monterrey Mexico. 

1890 The Sequoia National Park was established as a U.S.
National Park in Central California. It is still awesome!

1890 Mormon President Wilford Woodruff issued a Manifesto in
which the practice of polygamy was renounced. 

1919 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson collapsed after a speech
in Pueblo, CO. The speaking tour was in support of the Treaty
of Versailles. 

1956 A transatlantic telephone-cable system began operation
between Newfoundland and Scotland. 

1957 300 U.S. Army troops stood guard as nine black students
were escorted to class at Central High School in Little Rock,
AR. The children had been forced to withdraw 2 days earlier
because of unruly white mobs. 

1965 Willie Mays, at the age of 34, became the oldest man to
hit 50 home runs in a single season. He had also set the
record for the youngest to hit 50 ten years earlier. 

1973 The three crewmen of Skylab II landed in the Pacific
Ocean after being on the U.S. space laboratory for 59 days. 

1978 Melissa Ludtke, a writer for "Sports Illustrated", filed
a suit in U.S. District Court. The result was that Major
League Baseball could not bar female writers from the locker
room after the game. 

1981 Sandra Day O'Connor became the first female justice of
the U.S. Supreme Court when she was sworn in as the 102nd
justice. She had been nominated the previous July by U.S.
President Ronald Reagan. 

1983 A Soviet military officer, Stanislav Petrov, averted a
potential worldwide nuclear war. He declared a false alarm
after a U.S. attack was detected by a Soviet early warning
system. It was later discovered the alarms had been set off
when the satellite warning system mistakenly interpreted
sunlight reflections off clouds as the presence of enemy
missiles. 

1986 An 1894-S Barber Head dime was bought for $83,000 at a
coin auction in California. It is one of a dozen that exist. 

1987 The booty collected from the Wydah, which sunk off Cape
Cod in 1717, was auctioned off. The worth was around $400
million. 

1990 The U.N. Security Council voted to impose an air embargo
against Iraq. Cuba was the only dissenting vote. 

1991 The U.N. Security Council unanimously ordered a
worldwide arms embargo against Yugoslavia and all of its
warring factions. 

1992 In Orlando, FL, a judge ruled in favor of 12-year-old
Gregory Kingsley. He had sought a divorce from his biological
parents. 

1992 The Mars Observer blasted off on a mission that cost
$980 million. The probe has not been heard from since it
reached Mars in August of 1993. 

1995 Ross Perot announced that he would form the Independence
Party. 

1997 NBC sportscaster Marv Albert pled guilty to assault and
battery of a lover. He was fired from NBC within hours. 

2001 Michael Jordan announced that he would return to the NBA
as a player for the Washington Wizards. Jordan became the
president of basketball operations for the team on January
19, 2000. 

2002 U.S. forces landed in Ivory Coast to aid in the rescue
foreigners trapped in a school by fighting between government
troops and rebel troops. Rebels had attempted to take over
the government on September 19. 

2012 China launched its first aircraft carrier into service.

2016  smiled.


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