Outlook mail program getting very slow 

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Today is Sunday, November 13

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Todays Bonehead Award:
Parents of dead armed robber are mad his victim had a gun
and that the place he robbed was not a gunfree zone,
where only armed robbers are allowed to have guns.
Details at Boneheads
Today, November 13, in 

1775 During the American Revolution, U.S. forces captured 
See More of what happened on this day
in history.
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______________________________________________________ In mathematics you don't understand things. You just get used to them. --- Johann von Neumann (1903 - 1957) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Cards offering used textbooks for sale are posted on the college notice board at the beginning of each semester. One read: "Introduction to Psychology, $8, never used." The card was signed, "Must sell." The next day a note had been added: "Good price. Are you sure it's never been used?" Signed, "Prospective buyer." Below in a different hand was: "Positive!" Signed, "Professor who graded his exam." ______________________________________________________ Billy Bob and Jethro decide to go ice fishing. After arriving at the lake early in the morning, they cut two holes in the lake and drop in their lines in the water. After fishing for a few hours, Billy Bob has caught dozens of fish while Jethro hasn't even gotten a bite. Jethro asks, "Billy Bob, what's your secret?" Billy Bob answers, "Mmoo motta meep da mmrms mmrm." Jethro asks, "What did you say?" Billy Bob answers, "Mmoo motta meep da mmrms mmrm." Jethro again asks, "What?" Billy Bob spits into his hand and says, "You gotta keep the worms warm!" ______________________________________________________ This time the picture should work! That is NOT a teleprompter. It's a bug catcher. ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Temia Hairston and Michael Grace Sr Charlotte, North Carolina Parents of dead armed robber are mad his victim had a gun and that the place he robbed was not a gunfree zone, where only armed robbers are allowed to have guns. Michael Grace Jr, son of Temia Hairston and Michael Grace Sr., was shot and killed during an attempted armed robbery early Sunday morning. Police said Grace Jr and two other people tried to rob a Pizza Hut in the 3200 block of Freedom Drive. During the incident, an employee fired his own handgun and killed Grace Jr. Hairston said she learned of her son’s death on social media, and only got confirmation from police after contacting them first. The grieving mother said she has been left with dozens of questions about the situation that have thus far gone unanswered. “If there was to be a death, it was not the place of the employee at Pizza Hut. That is the place of law enforcement,” said Hairston. Hairston and Grace Sr acknowledged that their son was breaking the law by robbing the business, and said they definitely don’t condone what he did. “It was an act of desperation, but I do not believe that Michael would have hurt anyone,” said Hairston. They said Grace Jr had fallen on hard times and resorted to crime to provide for his own child. They also said their son used to work at the same Pizza Hut restaurant where the robbery happened. They maintain he never would have physically hurt anyone during the robbery. WBTV contacted the local restaurant and the Pizza Hut corporation public relations line. Neither have confirmed that Grace Jr has ever worked as an employee at the Freedom Drive Pizza Hut. CMPD officials have not confirmed the information either. The parents are angry that their son was shot and killed by an employee. They don’t believe the full story has been released to the public. “Why in the hell did this guy have a gun?” questioned Hairston about the employee who shot her son. She said her son was shot in the head, and she thinks the shooting may have even been personal, citing past conflicts Grace Jr had had with other employees at the restaurant. “This wasn’t a body shot. This was a head shot. My son was shot in the left side of his head just behind his ear. A headshot is personal,” said Hairston. Even though their son was in the process of committing a crime, the family thinks his death was undeserved and unjustified. “Even a criminal has a right to a degree,” said Grace Sr. The family said they want Pizza Hut to release more information about the situation and acknowledge that their son used to be a Pizza Hut employee. Pizza Hut previously released the following statement about the incident: "The local Pizza Hut franchisee is fully cooperating with the Charlotte Police Department as they continue their investigation, but want to stress that the security of its staff is of utmost concern. They are providing support to the team members involved to ensure their health and well-being following this incident. The employee involved in the shooting has been placed on a leave of absence following further review." ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Don Re: Slow Outlook Dear Webby, I see that, in this issue, you help a subscriber with a computer problem. I would be eternally grateful if you could find a solution to my problem. Here goes: Recently one of my family updated my computer. Now, when I am using the Inbox for Microsoft Outlook there is a long (4-5 seconds) pause in between the time I highlight an entry and the time it is activated and appears on the screen. Do you have any suggestions on how to speed things up? Thanks, Don Dear Don First, check the date/time on your machine. You are living in the past. That causes mail from you to get sorted in among yesterday's already taken care of mail, and is found only by accident. I don't allow Outlook within 20 feet of any computer here, so I don't know that much about Outlook problems. However, I would suggest that you clean out your INbox and either transfer mails to different other mailboxes, or dump them. The leaner you keep the INbox, the faster ANY mail program runs. Have FUN! DearWebby R E S U M E B O O - B O O S "Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer science, curses in accounting." "Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store." "I am a rabid typist." "Exposure to German for two years, but many words are not appropriate for business." "Proven ability to track down and correct erors." "Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer." Cover letter: "Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Shampoo as Hand Soap Refill By Monique [110 Posts, 181 Comments] I have an alternative to replace pricey hand wash pumps. I use value supermarket brands of shampoo instead! I buy the cheap shampoos from the supermarket. Store branded hand wash start at about £1 a bottle. To begin with I was buying 500g Asda value shampoo for 30p until I saw in Tesco that they have a litre bottle of value shampoo for just 40p. I refilled an old pump dispenser with the shampoo and added a few drops of Tea Tree oil for its antibacterial qualities. A shake and a stir and then it's good to go! I use this to wash my hands so I have a pump by each sink in my home. On one photograph you can see how much of the shampoo was used to fill up the pump dispenser. My bottle (that was part of a Xmas present) is a standard 300g. So my 40 pence shampoo bottle will refill the bottle well over three times! I also use the shampoo to hand-wash my special jumpers and on occasion, to wash my smalls.
And the Waltz Goes On (composed by Anthony Hopkins) directed by Andre Rieu
____________________________________________________ Thanks to Joann for this one: During my training as a medical-group receptionist, I was told never to recommend one of our doctors over another, but simply state who had available appointments. One day a woman came in and looked at me conspiratorially. "I'm a nurse," she whispered, "and I know the staff always knows which doctors are good and which aren't. Who do you think I should see?" Knowing my supervisor was listening close by, I tried to sound most professional. "Oh, I'm sorry," I replied. "I can't recommend any of our doctors." "Well, you must know!" she said, heading for the door. ____________________________________________________ Girlfriend: Two of the best things I cook best are meatloaf and apple pie. Boyfriend: Oh? And which is this? ____________________________________________________
The story of a brave horse in the Marines during the Korean War.
Nancy was talking to her girlfriend....."My psychiatrist told me yesterday that the way to achieve true inner peace is to always finish what I start. I think I'm getting the hang of it-- So far today I've finished a bag of cheetos, a six-pack of beer, and the chocolate cake I baked for my mother's birthday party tomorrow."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Today on November 13

1775 During the American Revolution, U.S. forces captured

1789 Benjamin Franklin wrote a letter to a friend in which he
said, "In this world nothing can be said to be certain,
except death and taxes." 

1805 Johann George Lehner, a butcher in Wien (Vienna),
invented a recipe and called it the "frankfurter." The rest
of the world calls it a "Wiener"

1927 The Holland Tunnel opened to the public, providing
access between New York City and New Jersey beneath the
Hudson River. 

1933 In Austin, MN, the first sit-down labor strike in
America took place. 

1942 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed a measure
lowering the minimum draft age from 21 to 18. 

1956 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down laws calling for
racial segregation on public buses. 

1971 The U.S. spacecraft Mariner 9 became the first
spacecraft to orbit another planet, Mars. 

1982 The Vietnam Veterans Memorial was dedicated in
Washington, DC. 

1984 A libel suit against Time, Inc. by former Israeli
Defense Minister Ariel Sharon went to trial in New York. 

1986 U.S. President Ronald Reagan publicly acknowledged that
the U.S. had sent "defensive weapons and spare parts" to
Iran. He denied that the shipments were sent to free
hostages, but that they had been sent to improve relations. 

1991 Roger Clemens won his third Cy Young Award for the
American League. 

1994 Sweden voted to join the European Union. 

1997 Iraq expelled six U.N. arms inspectors that were U.S.

1998 Monica Lewinsky signed a deal with St. Martin's Press
for the North American rights to her story about her affair
with U.S. President Bill Clinton. 

2001 U.S. President George W. Bush signed an executive order
that would allow for military tribunals to try any foreigners
captured with connections to the terrorist attacks on the
United States on September 11, 2001. It was the first time
since World War II that a president had taken such action. 

2006 A deal was finalized for Google Inc. to acquire YouTube
for $1.65 million in Google stock. 

2009 NASA announced that water had been discoved on the moon.
The discovery came from the planned impact on the moon of
Lunar Crater Observation and Sensing Satellite (LCROSS). 

2016  smiled.

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