Her laptop keeps dying 

Good Morning, ,

Today is Sunday, November 20

Thank you, Frank!

Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
Miami man claimed IHOP meal didnt agree with him. 
So he stabbed his waiter.
Details at Boneheads
Today, November 17 in 

1995 Princess Diana admitted being unfaithful to Prince
Charles in an interview that was broadcast on BBC Television.
That admission did not diminish her popularity, just
See More of what happened on this day
in history.
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______________________________________________________ We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. --- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807 - 1882) If you know how to spend less than you get, you have the philosopher's stone. --- Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >Thanks to Dave for this one: Once upon a time the Canadian Government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of nowhere. The Government said, "Someone may steal from the scrap yard at night." So they created a night watchman position and hired a person (bilingual, naturally) for the job. Then the Government said, "How can the watchman do his job without instruction?" So they created a Planning Department and hired two people; one person to write the job description and one person to do time studies. Then the Government said, "How will we know the night watchman is performing the tasks correctly?" So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people; one to do the studies and one to write the reports. Then the Government said, "How are these people going to get paid?" So they created the following positions: a Time Keeper and a Payroll Officer; then hired two more people to assist. Then the Government said, "Who will be accountable for all of these people?" So they created an Administrative Section and hired three people: an Administrative Officer, an Assistant Administrative Officer and a Legal Secretary. Then the Government said, "We have had this organization in operation for only one year and we are $180,000 over budget; we must cut back our overall costs." So they laid off the night watchman. ______________________________________________________ If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they'd eventually find me attractive. ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Gene Hicks, 35, Miami, Floriduh Miami man claimed IHOP meal didnt agree with him. So he stabbed his waiter. Whether IHOP patron Gene Hicks consumed the Belgian waffle, the chicken cordon bleu or the Rooty Tooty Fresh n Fruity, he returned to the establishment Friday afternoon a dissatisfied customer, according to North Miami Police. Hicks registered his complaint in the sharp language of a knife stabbed into his waiter, police say. The waiter was ferried to a nearby hospital with non-life threatening injuries. Hicks is restricted to the less rich cuisine of Turner Guilford Knight Correctional Center on a charge of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. Any switch to Dennys might have to wait. He already was out on felony bond on a charge of battery on an elderly victim, a 77-year- old man. North Miami Police say Hicks ate at the IHOP at 12875 Biscayne Blvd Friday, then returned around 3:30 p.m. claiming hed been poisoned. Then, he ran over and stabbed the server whod waited on him earlier. Police arrested Hicks at the IHOP. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Daniel Re: Laptop keeps shutting off Dear Webby, my wifes laptop keeps shuting off. is there a fix for this ? daniel Dear Daniel It is probably overheating due to too many dust bunnies inside. Just open it up and save most of the screws, vacuum it out, clean all fans and heat sinks with a Q-tip and Windex, and put it back together. It should be fine again for a year. Have FUN! DearWebby it was the battery.removed it,pluged the a/c cord back in and it's running like a brand new car.of all the things that it could have been,I never even thought battery because we never use the battery,only the power chord.thank you for answering me. daniel Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Freeze Dumplings for Soup By kathleen williams [76 Posts, 1,658 Comments] Did you know you can freeze dumplings? I make homemade dumplings. I roll them out flat, put them in the baking pan I bake biscuits in, let them freeze, then put them in an empty plastic cereal bag. I roll the top down and close it with a clothes pin. When ready to use them, get the broth you will use boiling hot. Break the dumplings into pieces, about an inch square, and drop into broth. This saves lot of time. Good luck. By Kathleen from Dothan, AL
news bloopers
____________________________________________________ If tomatoes are technically a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie? ____________________________________________________ >Thanks to Scotty for this one: Hospital regulations here require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a volunteer, I found one elderly gentleman--already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet--who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked if his wife was meeting him. "I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her silly hospital gown." ____________________________________________________
A murmuration of Starlings. I see this in the South where I live every winter.
Actual writings on hospital charts: 1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. 2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. 3. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared. 4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed. 5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993. 6. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission. 7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful. 8. The patient refused autopsy. 9. The patient has no previous history of suicides. 10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital. 11. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days. 12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. 13. She is numb from her toes down. 14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home. 15. The skin was moist and dry. 16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches. 17. Patient was alert and unresponsive. 18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid. 19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce. 20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy. 21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation. 22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized. 23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function. 24. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead. 25. Skin: somewhat pale but present. 26. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor. 27. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree. 28. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall. 29. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Today on November 20

1789 New Jersey became the first state to ratify the Bill of

1818 Simon Bolivar formally declared Venezuela independent of

1873 Budapest was formed when the rival cities of Buda and
Pest were united to form the capital of Hungary. 

1901 The second Hay-Pauncefoot Treaty provided for
construction of the Panama Canal by the U.S. 

1910 Francisco I. Madero led a revolution that broke out in

1943 During World War II, U.S. Marines began their landing on
Tarawa and Makin atolls in the Gilbert Islands. 

1945 24 Nazi leaders went before an international war crimes
tribunal in Nuremberg, Germany. 

1947 Britain's Princess Elizabeth married Philip Mountbatten,
Duke of Edinburgh in Westminster Abbey. 

1959 Britain, Norway, Portugal, Switzerland, Austria, Denmark
and Sweden met to create the European Free Trade

1962 The Cuban Missile Crisis ended. The Soviet Union removed
its missiles and bombers from Cuba and the U.S. ended its
blockade of the island. 

1967 The Census Clock at the Department of Commerce in
Washington, DC, went past 200 million. 

1969 The Nixon administration announced a halt to residential
use of the pesticide DDT as part of a total phase out of the

1970 The majority in U.N. General Assembly voted to give
China a seat, but two-thirds majority required for admission
was not met. 

1977 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat became the first Arab
leader to address Israel's parliament. 

1980 On Jefferson Island, Louisiana, an oil rig in Lake
Pigneur pierced the top of the salt dome beneath the island.
The freshwater lake completely drained within a few hours.
The Delcambre Canal reversed flow and two days later the
previous freshwater lake was a 1,300-foot-deep saltwater

1983 An estimated 100 million people watched the
controversial ABC-TV movie "The Day After." The movie
depicted the outbreak of nuclear war. 

1986 The one billionth Little Golden Book was printed. The
title was The Poky Little Puppy. 

1987 Police investigating the fire at King's Cross, London's
busiest subway station, said that arson was unlikely to be
the cause of the event that took 31 lives. 

1988 Egypt and China announced that they would recognize the
Palestinian state proclaimed by the Palestine National

1989 Over 200,000 people rallied peacefully in Prague,
Czechoslovakia, demanding democratic reforms. 

1990 Saddam Hussein ordered another 250,000 Iraqi troops into
the country of Kuwait. 

1990 The space shuttle Atlantis landed at Cape Canaveral, FL,
after completing a secret military mission. 

1992 A fire seriously damaged the northwest side of Windsor
Castle in England. 

1993 The U.S. Senate passed the Brady Bill and legislation
implementing NAFTA. 

1994 The Angolan government and rebels signed a treaty in
Zambia to end 19 years of war. 

1995 Princess Diana admitted being unfaithful to Prince
Charles in an interview that was broadcast on BBC Television.
That admission did not diminish her popularity, just

1998 Afghanistan's Taliban militia offered Osama bin Laden
safe haven. Osama bin Laden had been accused of orchestrating
two U.S. embassy bombings in Africa and later terrorist
attacks on New York City and the Pentagon. 

1998 Forty-six states agreed to a $206 billion settlement of
health claims against the tobacco industry. The industry also
agreed to give up billboard advertising of cigarettes. 

2001 The U.S. Justice Department headquarters building was
renamed the Robert F. Kennedy building by President George W.
Bush. The event was held on what would have been Kennedy's
76th birthday

2016  smiled.

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