What to do when Eudora slows down? 

Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, November 21

Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
Houston teacher, 24, got pregnant after sleeping with 
her 13 year old student daily for a year
Details at Boneheads
Today, November 21 in 

1783 The first successful flight was made in a hot air
balloon. The pilots, Francois Pilatre de Rosier and Francois
Laurent, Marquis d'Arlandes, flew for 25 minutes and 5 miles
over Paris. 
See More of what happened on this day
in history.
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______________________________________________________ A human being must have occupation if he or she is not to become a nuisance to the world. --- Dorothy L. Sayers (1893 - 1957) The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools. --- Herbert Spencer ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. It's speaking English that kills you. ______________________________________________________ The personnel manager was impressing the applicant with the prospective job. "We make parts for microscopes. You'll be required to work with lenses that are thousandths of an inch thick." "I can handle it," the applicant said, "I used to slice meat in a delicatessen. I can slice ham so thin, that it is kosher." ______________________________________________________ Getting nippy! ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Alexandria Vera, 24, Houston, Texas Houston teacher, 24, got pregnant after sleeping with her 13 year old student daily for a year Teacher, 24, who was pregnant with her 13-year-old student's baby before having an abortion, pleads guilty as part of a deal to avoid being jailed for life A former middle school teacher who got pregnant after sleeping with her 13-year-old student has pleaded guilty to sexual assault as part of a deal to avoid being jailed for life. Alexandria Vera, 24, appeared in Houston court on Wednesday, and accepted a charge of aggravated sexual assault of a child. The charge carries a potential sentence of life in prison, however Vera's possible punishment was capped at 30 years as part of her deal, KHOU reports. Her lawyer, Ricardo Rodriguez, told reporters he is also 'hoping for deferred adjudication', according to the Houston Chronicle. A deferred adjudication could mean Vera does not have a conviction recorded, providing she met requirements put in place by the court. Court documents state the boy's parents were allegedly aware of the relationship and accepting of it. Vera told investigators her victim's parents were, 'very supportive and excited' once they learned of the pregnancy in January. However, the former teacher had an abortion after being questioned by Child Protective Services, court papers claim. Vera, who has a four-year-old daughter, has been out on $100,000 bail since her arraignment in June this year, but was ordered to wear a GPS monitor, stay away from minors and prohibited from going online at home. She was also put on a court-mandated curfew between 8pm and 7am at the time. The 24-year-old will be sentenced in January. The now-14-year-old student has been placed in foster care until at least August next year. The case was uncovered after CPS received a tip-off about the relationship. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Bill Re: Eudora has slowed down Dear Webby, We have both been using Eudora for years and love the program. Recently, it has been freezing with a "not responding" message when I click on a URL or try to delete a message. I have made no changes to my system, Windows 7. Also, I can't bring up Task Manager while Eudora is acting snotty. After several minutes, things get back to normal and I can continue. Hoping that you can help with this problem, as you always have in the past, Bill Dear Bill Reduce the number of mails in your IN, OUT and TRASH mailboxes. By the way, it is not Eudora acting snotty. It is Windows assigning Eudora a low priority. It has to wait until it gets a turn at the processor after all the stuff Windows gives higher priorities to. You can't change that. All you can do is make the mail boxes smaller, so that when Eudora finally does get a turn, it can get it's work done faster. There is usually a lot of stuff you can safely delete. If a family member spends time on FaceBook, then they probably get all kinds of mails duplicating messages they already got online. Just do a FIND (Ctrl F) and search in the IN box for any mail that has "Facebook" anywhere in the mail. It will probably find a few thousand of them. You can either put them into a new mailbox ALT R, N or into the Trash. Either way, if nobody complains in a week, dump them. The same with LinkedIn. Nobody looks at old mails from Linkedin. Anything that you barely glance at when it comes in and never look at it again later, collect them with CTRL F and get rid of them. After you have trimmed the main mailboxes down, Eudora will again run at the speed, that you have been accustomed to. Have FUN! DearWebby
A woman walked up to the manager of a Walmart store. "Are you hiring any help?" she asked. "No," he said. "We already have all the staff we need." "In that case, would you mind trying to find someone to help me in sporting goods?" she asked.
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Freeze Dumplings for Soup By kathleen williams [76 Posts, 1,658 Comments] Did you know you can freeze dumplings? I make homemade dumplings. I roll them out flat, put them in the baking pan I bake biscuits in, let them freeze, then put them in an empty plastic cereal bag. I roll the top down and close it with a clothes pin. When ready to use them, get the broth you will use boiling hot. Break the dumplings into pieces, about an inch square, and drop into broth. This saves lot of time. Good luck. By Kathleen from Dothan, AL
monkey laughs at magic trick
____________________________________________________ Country Living Advice Never name a pig you plan to eat. Country fences oughta' be horse high, pig tight, and bull strong. Life ain't about how fast you run, or how high you climb. It's about how good you bounce. Keep skunks and gossipers at a distance. Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps. A bumble bee is faster than a John Deere tractor. Trouble with a milk cow is... she won't stay milked. Don't skinny dip with snapping turtles. Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled. Meanness don't happen overnight. To know how country folks are doing, look at their barns, not their houses. Never lay an angry hand on a kid or an animal. It just ain't helpful. Teachers, Moms, and hoot owls sleep with one eye open. Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads. Don't sell your mule to buy a plow. Two can live as cheap as one...if one don't eat. Don't corner something meaner than you. You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar... if you're in to catchin' flies. It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge. Don't go drinkin' with a fellow named Chug-A-Lug. You can't unsay a cruel remark. Every path has some puddles. Don't wrestle with pigs. You'll get all muddy, and the pigs'll love it. The best sermons are lived, not preached. Most of the stuff people worry about never happens. The early bird gets the worm. But... the second mouse gets the cheese!. The Ten Commandments display was removed from the Alabama Supreme Court building. There was a durn good reason for the move. You can't post: Thou Shalt Not Steal,Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery, Thou Shall Not Lie, in a building full of Lawyers and Politicians. It just don't make sense. ____________________________________________________ A woman was found guilty in traffic court and when asked for her occupation she said she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench. "Madam, I have waited many years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court." He smiled with delight. "Now sit down at that table and write 'I will not run a STOP sign' five hundred times." ____________________________________________________
A budding 16 year old photographer who I feel is going to make name for himself.
A small town Doctor was famous in the area for always catching large and heavy fish. One day while he was on one of his frequent fishing trips he got a call that a woman at a neighboring farm was giving birth. He rushed to her aid and delivered a healthy baby boy. The farmer had nothing to weigh the baby with, so the Doctor used his fishing scales. The baby weighed 22 lbs 10 oz.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Today on November 21
1620 The Mayflower reached Provincetown, MA. The ship
discharged the Pilgrims at Plymouth, MA, on December 26,

1783 The first successful flight was made in a hot air
balloon. The pilots, Francois Pilatre de Rosier and Francois
Laurent, Marquis d'Arlandes, flew for 25 minutes and 5 miles
over Paris. 

1871 M.F. Galethe patented the cigar lighter. 

1877 Thomas A. Edison announced the invention of his

1929 Spanish surrealist Salvador Dali had his first art

1934 The New York Yankees purchased the contract of Joe
DiMaggio from San Francisco of the Pacific Coast League. 

1942 The Alaska Highway across Canada was formally opened.
It was built from Dawson Creek, BC to Anchorage Alaska, 2000
Miles, in one year. No wait for environmental impact studies.

1953 British Natural History Museum authorities announced
that "Piltdown Man" was a hoax. 

1962 U.S. President Kennedy terminated the quarantine
measures against Cuba. 

1963 U.S. President John F. Kennedy and his wife, Jacqueline,
arrived in San Antonio, TX. They were beginning an ill-fated,
two-day tour of Texas that would end in Dallas. 

1973 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon's attorney, J. Fred
Buzhardt, announced the presence of an 18-minute gap in one
of the White House tape recordings related to the Watergate

1979 The U.S. Embassy in Islamabad, Pakistan, was attacked by
a mob that set the building afire and killed two Americans. 

1980 An estimated 83 million viewers tuned in to find out
"who shot J.R." on the CBS prime-time soap opera Dallas.
Kristin was the character that fired the gun. (Texas)

1980 87 people died in a fire at the MGM Grand Hotel-Casino
in Las Vegas, NV. 

1982 The National Football League (NFL) resumed its season
following a 57-day player's strike. 

1985 Former U.S. Navy intelligence analyst Jonathan Jay
Pollard was arrested after being accused of spying for
Israel. He was later sentenced to life in prison. 

1986 U.S. Attorney General Meese was asked to conduct an
inquiry of the Iran arms sales. 

1987 An eight-day siege began at a detention center in
Oakdale, LA, as Cuban detainees seized the facility and took

1989 The proceedings of Britain's House of Commons were
televised live for the first time. 

1992 U.S. Senator Bob Packwood issued an apology but refused
to discuss allegations that he'd made unwelcome sexual
advances toward 10 women in past years. 

1993 The U.S. House of Representatives voted against making
the District of Columbia the 51st state. 

1994 NATO warplanes bombed an air base in Serb-held Croatia
that was being used by Serb planes to raid the Bosnian "safe
area" of Bihac. 

1995 France detonated its fourth underground nuclear blast at
a test site in the South Pacific. 

1995 The Dow Jones Industrial Average closed above the 5,000-
mark (5,023.55) for the first time. 

1999 China announced that it had test-launched an unmanned
space capsule that was designed for manned spaceflight. 

2000 The Florida Supreme Court granted Al Gore's request to
keep the presidential recounts going. 

2001 Microsoft Corp. proposed giving $1 billion in computers,
software, training and cash to more than 12,500 of the
poorest schools in the U.S. The offer was intended as part of
a deal to settle most of the company's private antitrust

2002 NATO invited Latvia, Estonia, Lithuania, Bulgaria,
Romania, Slovakia and Slovenia to become members. 

2013 The Dow Jones Industrial Average closed above 16,000 for
the first time.

2016  smiled.

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