Paper weight numbers 

Good Morning, ,

Thank you, Allene!!

Today is Wednesday, December 14
Last Super-Moon of  2016 rises tonight.
Hopefully you have clear skies. It sure looked great here!

Gavle Goat Webcam

Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
Two Floriduh women rob men who turned them down
Details at Boneheads
Today, December 14 in 
1798 David Wilkinson of Rhode Island patented the nut and
 bolt machine. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ If there's anything unsettling to the stomach, it's watching actors on television talk about their personal lives. --- Marlon Brando (1924 - 2004) Advertisements... contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper. --- Thomas Jefferson, January 12, 1819 ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Andrea for this one: As I was opening my coffee creamer this morning, I had an idiot idea. When the liquid coffee creamer is new, you need to tear off the seal. So, on the seal, it says... Remove Seal, Shake Well. So, I did.. Boy..I had a major mess to clean up!! :) ______________________________________________________ During their ten year anniversary, a wife reminded her husband, "Do you remember when you proposed to me, I was so overwhelmed that I didn't talk for an hour?" The hubby replied, "Yes, honey, that was the happiest hour of my life." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Gale for this classic: Two men working in a factory were talking. "I know how to get some time off," said one. "How are you going to do that?" "Watch," he said, and climbed up on a rafter. The foreman asked what he was doing up there, and the man replied, "I'm a lightbulb." "I think you need some time off," the foreman said, and the first man walked out of the factory. After a moment, the second man followed him. "Where do you think you're going?" the foreman shouted. "Well, I can't work in the dark," he said. ______________________________________________________ Now where is the next grip? ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Shelly Adair, 26, April Garica-Bonilla, 26, Pensacola, Floriduh Two Floriduh women rob men who turned them down The Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office has charged two Pensacola women with armed robbery after they pulled a knife on two individuals early Sunday morning who say they had declined the women's offer for sex. According to a press release from OCSO, victims say 26-year old Shelly Adair and 26-year old April Garica-Bonilla followed them home from an establishment on Racetrack Road around 3 a.m. Sunday. They told deputies the pair was soliciting them for sex but they declined. They say that's when the two women exited their car. One was armed with a knife and demanded money. The victims handed over two $100 bills and the women fled. OCSO deputies spotted the suspects' white Chevrolet and made a traffic stop. The victims showed up to positively identify the suspects. Deputies found two $100 bills in one of the female's purse and a four-inch folding knife in the car's glove compartment. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Sharon Re: Paper Dear Webby, Hope you are getting ready for the holidays. I pray you have a very special season. My question is in regard to printer paper. I make almost all my own greeting cards as well as group bible study, missionary cards etc. Currently I have been using cover stock, 67# weight. I remember a friend having a paper that was a litle lighter in weight but she has since gotten rid of the cover for it. I do not know how the weight is figured. Is the bigger the number, the heavier the paper or vise versa? I could ask the next time I buy paper but thought maybe you could help. Thanks so much, Sharon Dear Sharon yes, 67 pound paper is quite heavy, almost card stock. Normal "around the office" paper is 20 pound. Formal stationery is 30 pound, fancy resume paper is 32 pound, and so on. The number indicates how much a traditional "flat" would weigh, (as if paper was still poured into "flats" and left to dry). Have FUN! DearWebby
>From Anna: Guys, be more alert and cautious when getting a drink offer from a girl. Good girls out there, please forward this message to your guy friends. And girlfriends, take heed. There is a new drug called beer that is essentially in liquid form. The drug is now being used by female sexual predators at parties to convince their male victims to have sex with them. The shocking statistic is that beer is available virtually anywhere! All girls have to do is buy a beer or two for almost any guy and simply ask the guy home for no-strings-attached sex. Men are literally rendered helpless against such attacks. -------------------- She is right. Even I have fallen for that sneaky trick a few times.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Homemade Metal Polish Recipes Kelly Ann Butterbaugh After scouring flea markets and yard sales, I've found some fabulous treasures. Metals are often unrealized treasures. Tarnished silver and brass look drab and worthless, but there's treasure to be found under there. Avoid the expensive store-bought polishes and create your own. If those fail and the tarnish is here to stay, learn to work around it and see the beauty in your newly found treasures. Silver Silver can tarnish to yellowish-silver or even to a blackish color which makes it look cheaply plated. The proof of the silver is the tarnish itself; ifferent metals tarnish in different ways. Try creating some at home polishers to remove the tarnish. Silver Tarnish Dip: Fill your kitchen sink with the hottest water your tap allows. Then, mix 2 tablespoons of salt and 2 tablespoons of baking soda together before adding them to the water. Place a sheet of aluminum foil in the bottom of the sink (use a wooden spoon so you don't scald your hands). This creates ionization which will clean your new treasures. Dip the items for a few seconds at a time, redipping as needed. Tarnish Scrub: Use white toothpaste to polish the tarnish off of your silver. Rub it onto the silver and continue to polish with a soft cloth. Another option, especially for more tarnished silver, is a baking powder paste made from powder and water. The paste can set for an hour or so if the tarnish is severe. Anti-Corrosion: Corrosion occurs when the silver comes in contact with certain elements like salt. What might look like tarnish that doesn't come off is corrosion. Try soaking the corroded area in a mixture of two cups of vinegar and one tablespoon of salt, heating the vinegar in the mixture. Brass Brass constantly tarnishes. Once you've cleaned your brass, look for a sealing product to protect it from further tarnish. Check your new brass to see if it is coated or not. If it's coated, a simple household cleaner such as Clorox GreenWorks will clean it up. Formula 409 will work on dirtier jobs. If you have untreated brass, then cleaning it will help, though brass takes a little more muscle to clean. Brass Scrub: A simple scrub cleaner can be made for brass as well. Mix one half cup of vinegar with 1 teaspoon of salt and rub with a cloth. Ketchup is also noted as a cleaner, most likely because of the chemical reactions of the acidic tomato base.
scary girl in elevator
____________________________________________________ I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for. --- Jasper Carrott Don't worry. Anybody who listens to FM in the morning already knows. ____________________________________________________
I'm dreaming of cherry blossoms instead of Christmas trees.
The Garden of Eden was in Scotland. Proof ? Adam was a Scotsman. God looked down and noticed that Adam is all alone while all the animals have companions, so he decided to create a companion for man as well. He went to see Adam and said to him, "Adam, you are my greatest creation and therefore, I am going to create for you the ultimate companion. She will worship the very ground you walk on, she will long for you and no other, she will be highly intelligent, she will wait on you hand and foot and obey your every command, she will be beautiful, and all it will cost you is an arm and a leg." Thinking for a few moments, Adam replied, "What could I get for a rib?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today on December 14
1503 Physician, astrologer and clairvoyant Nostradamus was
born at St. Remy, Provence, France. 

1798 David Wilkinson of Rhode Island patented the nut and
bolt machine. 

1900 Professor Max Planck of Berlin University revealed his
revolutionary Quantum Theory. 

1903 Orville Wright made the first attempt at powered flight.
The engine stalled during take-off and the plane was damaged
in the attempt. Three days later, after repairs were made,
the modern aviation age was born when the plane stayed aloft
for 12 seconds and flew 102 feet. 

1911 Norwegian explorer Roald Amundsen became the first man
to reach the South Pole. He reached the destination 35 days
ahead of Captain Robert F. Scott. 

1918 For the first time in Britain women (over 30) voted in a
General Election. 

1939 The Soviet Union was dropped from the League of Nations.

1945 Josef Kramer, known as "the beast of Belsen," and 10
others were executed in Hamelin for the crimes they committed
at the Belsen and Auschwitz Nazi concentration camps. 

1959 Archbishop Makarios was elected Cyprus' first president.

1962 The U.S. space probe Mariner II approached Venus. It
transmitted information about the planet's atmosphere and
surface temperature. 

1975 Six South Moluccan terrorists surrendered to police
after holding 23 people hostage for 12 days on a train near
the Dutch town of Beilen. 

1981 Israel annexed the Golan Heights, seized from Syria in
war in 1967. 

1983 The U.S. battleship New Jersey fired on Syrian positions
in Lebanon for the first time after American F-14
reconnaissance flights were fired on. 

1985 Wilma Mankiller became the first woman to lead a major
American Indian tribe as she formally took office as
principal chief of the Cherokee Nation of OKlahoma. 

1986 The experimental aircraft Voyager, piloted by Dick Rutan
and Jeana Yeager, took off from California on the first non-
stop, non-refueled flight around the world. The trip took
nine days to complete. 

1987 Chrysler pled no contest to federal charges of selling
several thousand vehicles as new when Chrysler employees had
driven the vehicles with the odometer disconnected. 

1988 CBS won the exclusive rights to major league baseball's
1990-94 seasons for $1.1 billion. 

1988 The first transatlantic underwater fiber-optic cable
went into service. 

1990 After 30 years in exile, ANC president Oliver Tambo
returned to South Africa. 

1995 The presidents of Bosnia and Herzegovina, Serbia,
Croatia signed the Dayton Accords to end fighting in Bosnia. 

1995 AIDS patient Jeff Getty received the first-ever bone-
marrow transplant from a baboon. 

1997 Iran's newest president, Mohammad Khatami, called for a
dialogue with the people of the United States. The preceding
Iranian leaders had reviled the U.S. as "The Great Satan." 

1997 Mike Gartner (Phoenix Coyotes) became only the fifth
player in National Hockey League (NHL) history to score 700
career goals. 

1997 Cuban President Fidel Castro declared Christmas 1997 an
official holiday to ensure the success of Pope John Paul II's
upcoming visit to Cuba. 

1998 Hundreds of Palestinian leaders renounced a call for the
destruction of Israel. 

1999 U.S. and German negotiators agreed to establish a $5.2
billion fund for Nazi-era slave and forced laborers. 

1999 Charles M. Schulz announced he was retiring the
"Peanuts" comic strip. The last original "Peanuts" comic
strip was published on February 13, 2000. 

2000 It was announced that American businessman Edmond Pope
would be released from a Russian prison for humanitarian
reasons. Pope had been sentenced to 20 years in prison after
his conviction on espionage charges. 

2001 European Union leaders agreed to dispatch 3,000-4,000
troops to join an international peacekeeping force in

2001 The first commercial export, since 1963, of U.S. food to
Cuba began. The 24,000 metric tons for corn were being sent
to replenish what was lost when Hurricane Michelle struck on
November 4. 

2013 The Chinese spacecraft Chang'e 3 became the first
spacecraft to "soft"-land on the Moon since 1976. It was only
the third robotic rover to land on the moon. 

2016  smiled.

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