Garbled emails 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, January 4

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Wisconsin bonehead arrested after he belly-flopped
onto windshield of Wisconsin police car
Details at  Boneheads
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Today, January 4 in 
1936 The first pop music chart based on national sales 
was published by "Billboard" magazine. 
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
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If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Few people think more than two or three times a year; I have made an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. --- Mae West (1892 - 1980) Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip. --- Will Rogers ___________ Right. Always cuss in Latin. ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A couple went to pay a visit to another couple, unannounced. The wife answered the door. "Come in," she said. The other couple came in,sat down, then asked, "Where's John?" "Oh," replied his wife,"he's in the bathroom, grouting and spackling." "Oh, dear," said the other lady, "I had that once and didn't get over it for two weeks. ______________________________________________________ The professor of a graduate-school class of gifted students included a HUGE amount of material on the midterm exam. Tension in the room built, people were sighing and gasping aloud as they realized how much material they had covered and were expected to recall. The following week, the professor tossed the graded papers on her desk and announced, "Class, after I left here last week, the Lord spoke to me. He said, 'Thanks, professor. I haven't heard from some of those people in years!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by James Romano, 25, Menasha, Wisconsin Wisconsin bonehead arrested after he belly flopped onto windshield of Wisconsin police car The 25-year-old Wisconsin resident rang in the New Year by performing an exquisite belly flop atop the windshield of a police cruiser. Romano, for some reason, charged the stationary squad car shortly after midnight Sunday. As he reached the vehicle’s front end, Romano launched himself into the air. Upon landing, Romano smashed the windshield of the cruiser, which was occupied by a Menasha Police Department officer. After a scuffle with cops, Romano was taken into custody and transported to a local hospital for treatment. He was then booked into the county jail on multiple charges, including battery on a law enforcement officer, disorderly conduct, and criminal damage to property. Investigators say that Romano (seen above) “had been drinking” prior to his ill-conceived execution of the January 1 belly flop in Menasha, a city about 35 miles south of Green Bay. According to his LinkedIn page, Romano works as a customer service manager at Walmart. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Debby Re: Garbled emails Dear Webby, The humor letter is great Thanks! I hope you can give me a little insight as to why I receive emails that is full of useless words, just words all garbled up. Is it some kind of code or something? Some emails are the entire thing, some have just a paragraph at the end of a letter. Thanks, Debby Dear Debby Spam is for trashing, not for getting philosophical about. They are just putting crap in there to try and sneak past spam control programs, and then show their phony ads as a picture. Obviously, somebody who uses such a crooked approach is a crook, and not worth your time or money. Just trash their garbage. Have FUN! DearWebby
I met a man who had been married for 66 years. "Amazing. 66 years!" I said. "What's the secret to such a long, happy marriage?" "Well," he replied, "It's like this. The man makes all the big decisions ... and the woman just makes the little decisions." "Really?" I responded. "Does that really work?" "Oh, yes," he said proudly. "66 years, and so far, not one big decision!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Lip Balm By Becky Miles [100 Posts, 158 Comments] My lips have been so dry lately and I couldn't find my usual lip stuff. Instead of going out and buying yet another one, I made some. I had all the ingredients, but that's because I make lots of homemade hand salves and foot balms, etc. The most expensive supply is the beeswax. You can buy the beeswax pastilles. I bought a huge 1 pound block with a 60% off coupon at the craft store (for about $5) and I grated it myself. It took some work and I don't recommend using a grater that you want to use again for food (it is hard to clean off). But, it has lasted a long time and I use it a lot. This lip balm worked perfectly. My lips are no longer dry and I saved a few bucks! Total Time: 10 minutes, plus cooling time Yield: 3 containers Source: http://www.everydayroots.com Supplies: 1 Tbsp grated beeswax, to act as your moisturizer 1 Tbsp coconut oil, to promote hydration a dash of honey - The instructions call for raw honey, but I had none. Regular honey worked, too. 2 vitamin E capsules (I didn't have the capsules, so I squirted in what seemed like 2 capsules-worth) pot to heat water clean can or glass jar containers to put your lip balm in Steps: Heat a small pan with about 1 inch of water to simmering. I use an old pot that I don't cook with. Take a small clean metal can and add the grated beeswax. If you are opposed to using the can, you could use a glass jar. It's hard to clean out, but you could use it over and over again. Add the can or glass jar to the water. Melt the beeswax about halfway. Add the coconut oil and honey. Stir with a plastic utensil, chopstick, or Popsicle stick. Once the mix hardens, it's hard to clean off. Use something that you don't mind tossing. Once melted, carefully take the can out of the pan of water. Use a towel or potholders. I squish my can so that it has a spout to pour out without getting the mixture all over my counter. Pour into your containers. I had a couple of old lip stuff containers. I also poured some into a cleaned baby food container. Don't touch your containers as they cool. It takes about 15 to 20 minutes to harden. Enjoy!
how to catch fish while water skiing
____________________________________________________ The following is an ad from a newspaper which appeared four days in a row - the last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day's mistake. MONDAY: For sale: R. D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale. Phone 948-0707 after 7 P.M.. and ask for Mrs. Kelly who lives with him cheap. TUESDAY: Notice: We regret having erred In R. D. Jones' ad yesterday. It should have read "One sewing machine for sale cheap. Phone 948-0707 and ask for Mrs. Kelly, who lives with him after 7 P.M." WEDNESDAY: Notice: R. D. Jones has informed us that he has received several annoying telephone calls because of the error we made in the classified ad yesterday. The ad stands correct as follows: "For sale -- R. D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale. Cheap. Phone 948-0707 after 7 P.M. and ask for Mrs. Kelly who loves with him." THURSDAY: Notice: I, R. D. Jones, have no sewing machine for sale. I intentionally broke it. Don't call 948-0707 as I have had the phone disconnected. I have not been carrying on with Mrs. Kelly. Until yesterday she was my housekeeper, but she has now quit. ____________________________________________________
This transparent graffiti illusion is awesome!
After setting off the alarm while passing through a metal detector at McCarran Airport in Las Vegas, a traveler was asked by a security agent if she had any change in her pockets. "Gee," she says, turning towards her husband, I told you we should of gone to Florida instead. Here everyone expects to be tipped."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
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Today on January 4
1850 The first American ice-skating club was organized in
Philadelphia, PA. 

1884 The socialist Fabian Society was founded in London. 

1885 Dr. William Grant performed the first successful
appendectomy. The patient was Mary Gartside. 

1936 The first pop music chart based on national sales was
published by "Billboard" magazine. 

1944 The attack on Monte Cassino was launched by the British
Fifth Army in Italy. 

1948 Britain granted independence to Burma. 

1951 During the Korean conflict, North Korean and Communist
Chinese forces captured the city of Seoul. 

1953 Tufted plastic carpeting was introduced by Barwick
Mills. 

1958 The Soviet satellite Sputknik I fell to the earth from
its orbit. The craft had been launched on October 4, 1957. 

1962 New York City introduced a train that operated without
conductors and motormen. 

1965 The Fender Guitar Company was sold to CBS for $13
million. 

1984 Wayne ‘The Great One’ Gretzky scored eight points (four
goals and four assists) for the second time in his National
Hockey League (NHL) career. Edmonton’s Oilers defeated the
Minnesota North Stars, 12-8. The game was the highest-
scoring NHL game to date. 

1991 The U.N. Security Council voted unanimously to condemn
Israel's treatment of the Palestinians in the occupied
territories. 

1997 The Greek Cypriot government signed an agreement to buy
S-300 surface-to-air missiles from Russia. 

1999 A drifting Nicaraguan fishing boat was found by the
Norwegian oil tanker Joelm. The fisherman had been lost at
sea for 35 days after the engine of their vessel quit
working. 

1999 Former professional wrestler Jesse Ventura was sworn in
as Minnesota's 37th governor. 

2007 Nancy Pelosi became Speaker of the U.S. House of
Representatives. She was the first woman to hold the
position. 

2010 In Dubai, United Arab Emirates, the Burj Dubai (Dubai
Tower) opened as the world's tallest tower at 2,625 feet. 

2016  smiled.


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