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Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, January 17

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Pennsylvania woman busted for child porno
Details at  Boneheads
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Today, January 17 in
1893 The Kingdom of Hawaii's monarchy was overthrown when
a group of businessmen and sugar planters forced Queen
Liliuokalani to abdicate. 
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
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If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. --- Jackie Mason (1934 - ) Genius might be described as a supreme capacity for getting its possessors into trouble of all kinds. --- Samuel Butler (1835 - 1902) hmmm. I must be a genius! ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Here is an ancient classic: I boarded the train and took my seat. The seat next to me was empty, but not for long. A young mother boarded with her 4-year-old daughter and Mom sat down in the seat beside me. I offered my seat to the little girl but Mom said no, she'd sit the young one on her lap. So here I am holding my roses, now with a little lady straining to see what I was holding. "What ya got, mifter?" she asked. (Mom is getting a bit flustered and tells her to mind her own business.) I leaned the "package" over a bit and she looks and says loudly, "Ohhhh, ROSES!, who are they for?" (Now, Mom is embarrassed and tapping her on the rear telling her to sit down.) I said, "They are for my girlfriend". She replied with a loud voice, "WOW, pretty RED ones, and a lot of them, too! You muft have REALLY skwoowed up!" Needless to say, nearly everyone on the train was in stitches, except Mom who was now trying to crawl between the seats! ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A burglar, needing money to pay his income taxes, decided to rob the safe in a store. On the safe door he was very pleased to find a note reading: "Please don't use dynamite. The safe is not locked. Just turn the knob." He did so. Instantly a heavy sandbag fell on him, the entire premises were floodlighted, and alarms started clanging. As the police carried him out on a stretcher, he was heard moaning: "Can't trust anybody anymore!" ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kaitlin Plascjak, 28, Allegheny County, Pennsylvania Pennsylvania woman busted for child porno Kaitlin Plascjak made Allegheny County (Pa.) history, but not the kind that will endear her to her neighbors, or anyone else for that matter. According to the District Attorney, Plascjak, 28, became the first woman in 16 years in the county to be arrested on child pornography charges. She is facing the charges after authorities discovered more than 100 sexually explicit images and videos of infants, toddlers and teenagers stored in her cell phone, law enforcement said. The woman allegedly admitted to the crime, telling WPXI- TV that the videos served as a “coping mechanism,” because she was molested when she was younger. An FBI task force unit received a cyber-tip in August that led them to Plascjak’s mobile home, where she lived with her mother. “It blows me away, just blows me away,” neighbor Nancy Milligan told the TV station. The FBI found disturbing photos and videos of “infants being sexually assaulted” and of teens “exposing themselves” while searching her cell phone. Typically, child pornography is a crime committed by men. If convicted of child pornography, she could face a minimum of 15 to 30 years in prison under federal law. Police said Plascjak had more porn on her phone, but she said she deleted it before she underwent surgery so no one would find the graphic images if something had gone wrong with the operation. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Helene Re: Mailbox shortcuts Dear Webby, I am using the old legacy Eudora, noit the yuppie version, and am quite happy with it. I like especially the fast way to sort mail into different mail boxes, just ALT R and the first letter of a mailbox name. However, I have run out of letters in the alphabet! I realize that if I hit E twice, it will go to th second one that starts with an E, but then I have to hit Enter to select that one. Yes, I know, I am a spoiled brat, but you probably have a trick to get 4 - 5 more out of it. Thanks Helene Dear Helene You can also use the numbers.from 0 to 9 as the first letter of a mailbox. The exclamation mark will bring a name to the very top, the tilde ~ as the first letter will bring it to the bottom. Have FUN! DearWebby
Thanks to Dorothy for this story: My son was in the process of bineg potty trained. One summer day, he came in from outside, all wet. I asked, "Did you have an accident?". "Yes.", he replied. "Well," I asked, "what did you do, water the trees, the bushes,...?" "Oh, no," he replied. "I went in the garage." Shocked, I responded, "Well, you shouldn't do that. It will start to stink and draw flies; now I'll have to go out and hose down the garage." My son replied happily, " But Mom, it's OK, I didn't go in our garage, I went in Jane's garage!!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Grocery List Chalkboard I have a grocery list board on my kitchen cupboard. I don't always have a pen and paper handy when I think of something I need at the grocery store. So I decided to use chalkboard paint to create a surface that I will always have handy. I prepared the surface of the cupboard as directed on the can and painted the cupboard. I also framed it with a 11 x 14 inch wooden painted picture frame (nailed on with small brads) I hot glued a small strip of wood to the frame to hold the chalk. The picture frame is decorated with miniature roosters. Which is the theme of my kitchen. When it is time to do the shopping I just copy the list off the board. By Debbie Z If you don't like the chalk dust or a blackboard does not fit your decor, you can get 24" x 36" Wall Pops WPE0446 24-Inch by 36-Inch Peel and Stick Dry Erase Message Board from Aamzon for about $10. Since that is probably way too big for the kitchen, you can cut it in half and sell the other half to a friend. You simply clean a cupboard door with windex and stick the whiteboard on like contact paper. As long as the kids don't get hold of the dry-erase marker, one will last many years. By the way, forget about whiteboard paint. It is ridiculously expensive and requires an immaculately smooth surface. Not worth it when you can buy peel and stick so cheaply. Have FUN! DearWebby
pit stops 1950 vs 2013
____________________________________________________ A man tried to sell his neighbor a new dog. "This is a talking dog," he said. "And you can have him for five dollars." The neighbor said, "Who do you think you're kidding with this 'talking dog' stuff? There is no such animal." Suddenly the dog looked up with tears in his eyes and pleaded, "Please buy me, sir. This man is cruel. He never buys me a meal, never bathes me, never takes me for a walk. And I used to be the richest trick dog in America. I performed before kings. I was in the army and was decorated ten times!" "Hey!" said the neighbor. "He can talk. Why do you want to sell him for just five dollars?" And the man said, "Because, I'm getting tired of all his lies." ____________________________________________________
I've had this battle when I have the sheet turned the wrong way.
"What were you before you came to school, boys and girls?" asked the teacher, hoping that someone would say 'babies'. She was disappointed when all the children cried out, "Happy!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
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Today on January 17

1377 The Papal See was transferred from Avignon in France
back to Rome. 

1562 French Protestants were recognized under the Edict
of St. Germain. 

1773 Captain Cook's Resolution became the first ship to
cross the Antarctic Circle. 

1852 The independence of the Transvaal Boers was
recognized by Britain. 

1871 Andrew S. Hallidie received a patent for a cable car
system. 

1882 Thomas Edison's exhibit opened the Crystal Palace
Exhibition in London. 

1893 The Kingdom of Hawaii's monarchy was overthrown when
a group of businessmen and sugar planters forced Queen
Liliuokalani to abdicate. 

1900 The U.S. took Wake Island where there was an
important cable link between Hawaii and Manila. 

1900 Yaqui Indians in Texas proclaimed their independence
from Mexico. 

1900 Mormon Brigham Roberts was denied a seat in the U.S.
House of Representatives for his practicing of polygamy.


1905 Punchboards were patented by a manufacturing firm in
Chicago, IL. 

1912 English explorer Robert Falcon Scott reached the
South Pole. Norwegian Roald Amundsen had beaten him there
by one month. Scott and his party died during the return
trip. 

1913 All partner interests in 36 Golden Rule Stores were
consolidated and incorporated in Utah into one company.
The new corporation was the J.C. Penney Company. 

1928 The fully automatic film-developing machine was
patented by A.M. Josepho. 

1934 Ferdinand Porsche submitted a design for a people's
car, a "Volkswagen," to the new German Reich government. 

1945 Soviet and Polish forces liberated Warsaw during
World War II. 

1945 Swedish diplomat Raoul Wallenberg disappeared in
Hungary while in Soviet custody. Wallenberg was credited
with saving tens of thousands of Jews. 

1946 The United Nations Security Council held its first
meeting. 

1959 Senegal and the French Sudan joined to form the
Federal State of Mali. 

1966 A B-52 carrying four H-bombs collided with a
refuelling tanker. The bombs were released and eight
crewmembers were killed. 

1977 Double murderer Gary Gilmore became the first to be
executed in the U.S. in a decade. The firing squad took
place at Utah State Prison. 

1991 Coalition airstrikes began against Iraq after
negotiations failed to get Iraq to retreat from the
country of Kuwait. 

1992 An IRA bomb, placed next to a remote country road in
County Tyrone, Northern Ireland, killed seven building
workers and injured seven others. 

1994 The Northridge earthquake rocked Los Angeles, CA,
registering a 6.7 on the Richter Scale. At least 61
people were killed and about $20 billion in damage was
caused. 

1995 More than 6,000 people were killed when an
earthquake with a magnitude of 7.2 devastated the city of
Kobe, Japan. 

1997 A court in Ireland granted the first divorce in the
Roman Catholic country's history. 

1997 Israel gave over 80% of Hebron to Palestinian rule,
but held the remainder where several hundred Jewish
settlers lived among 20,000 Palestinians. 

1998 U.S. President Clinton gave his deposition in the
Paula Jones sexual harassment lawsuit against him. He was
the first U.S. President to testify as a defendant in a
criminal or civil lawsuit. 

2000 British pharmaceutical companies Glaxo Wellcome PLC
and SmithKline Beecham PLC agreed to a merger that
created the world's largest drugmaker. 

2001 Congo's President Laurent Kabila was shot and killed
during a coup attempt. Congolese officials temporarily
placed Kabila's son in charge of the government. 

2001 The director of Palestinian TV, Hisham Miki, was
killed at a restaurant when three masked gunmen walked up
to his table and shot him more than 10 times. 

2002 It was announced that Microsoft had signed a joint
venture agreement to produce software with two partners
in China. The two partners were Beijin Centergate
Technologies (Holding) Co. and the Stone Group.

2016  smiled.


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