Text edtor 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, January 19

Thank you, Attila

My car, a 1991 Chrysler LeBaron, did not start today.
I worked on it for hours, and a friend will try tomorrow.
It has been a good car for a long time, but sure has me
worried now.

Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
Wife Of U.S. Marshal charged with Diabolical 
Rape Frame-Up Of his Ex-Lover
Details at  Boneheads
Today, January 19 in
1825 Ezra Daggett and Thomas Kensett of New York City
patented a canning process to preserve salmon, oysters
and lobsters. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Nothing is more characteristic of a man than the manner in which he behaves toward fools. --- Henri-Frédéric Amiel Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped. --- Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A wealthy playboy met a beautiful young girl in an exclusive lounge. He took her to his lavish apartment where he soon discovered she was not a tramp, but was well groomed and apparently very intelligent. Hoping to impress her, he began showing her his collection of expensive paintings, first editions by famous authors and offered her a glass of wine. He asked whether she preferred Port or Sherry and she said, "Oh, Sherry by all means. To me, it's the nectar of the gods. Just looking at it in a crystal-clear decanter fills me with a glorious sense of anticipation. When the stopper is removed and the gorgeous liquid is poured into my glass, I inhale the enchanting aroma and I'm lifted on the wings of ecstasy. It seems as though I'm about to drink a magic potion and my whole being begins to glow. The sound of a thousand violins being softly played fills my ears and I'm transported into another world. "Port, however, just makes me fart." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A judge was instructing the jury that a witness was not necessarily to be regarded as untruthful because he changed his statement after he gave it to the police. "For example," he said, "when I entered my chambers today, I was positive that I had my gold watch in my pocket. But then I remembered that I left in on the nightstand in my bedroom." When the judge returned home that evening, his wife asked him "Why so much urgency for your watch? Isn't sending three men to pick it up for you a bit extreme?" "What?" said the judge, "I didn't send anyone for my watch, let alone three people. What did you do?" "I gave it to the first one," said the wife, "he knew exactly where it was." ______________________________________________________ Too Late! ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Angela Maria Diaz, 31, Annaheim, California Wife Of U.S. Marshal charged with Diabolical Rape Frame-Up Of his Ex-Lover The wife of a U.S. marshal has been charged with kidnapping and falsely reporting a crime in a bizarre rape-fantasy frame-up of her husband’s former girlfriend, Southern California officials revealed Monday. Investigators say Angela Maria Diaz, 31, who then lived in Anaheim, posed as the victim of a fabricated Craigslist rape fantasy ad in a bid to land rival Michelle Suzanne Hadley, 30, in prison. Diaz married a U.S. marshal, referred to as John Doe in court documents, a year ago. Hadley was his girlfriend from 2013 to 2015. Diaz tried to make it appear that Hadley, of nearby Ontario, had placed the fake ad last June to entice men to rape Diaz, according to investigators. The ad said Diaz wanted to indulge in her rape fantasies and supplied photos of Diaz and information about her routines. The ad encouraged men to have forcible sex with Diaz, "even if she screamed or resisted". Diaz reported to police that men had appeared at her home intending to rape her and that one had attacked her but fled before police arrived. In an apparent effort to bolster her false claims, Diaz showed police her torn shirt and redness on her neck and breast, the DA’s office said. Diaz had reported to Anaheim police earlier that Hadley sent several threatening emails — and obtained a restraining order against Hadley — but investigators said Diaz had sent the threats to herself. Orange County District Attorney Tony Rackauckas called it a "diabolical scheme." Investigators initially believed Hadley was responsible for the false ad and for the danger to Diaz, and Hadley was charged with 10 felonies, including stalking and attempted forcible rape. If convicted, she faced up to life in prison, noted KTLA-TV in Los Angeles. She was held in lieu of $1 million bail from July to October, until her attorney, Michael Guisti, helped uncover information that authorities said exonerated her. As important as the filing of charges against Ms. Diaz, is the dismissal of the previous complaint and full exoneration of Michelle Hadley, Rackauckas said in a statement. Ms. Hadley is cleared in every possible way in the courtroom and in the court of public opinion. It should be clear in the media and in cyberspace. Ms. Hadley is an innocent victim of a diabolical scheme. Guisti told the Los Angeles Times that Hadley was a wide- eyed, very bubbly young woman with a lust for life whose family had to borrow money for her defense. To have her so thoroughly exonerated by the district attorney is a huge relief to her. Diaz was arrested Jan. 6 in Phoenix and was charged with two felony counts each of kidnapping (linked to false reports that landed Hadley in jail) and false imprisonment by menace, fraud or deceit, one felony count of perjury, one felony count of grand theft and two felony counts of forgery, among a number of other charges, according to the Orange County district attorney’s office. She also is accused of faking cervical cancer and a pregnancy, pretending to be an attorney and forging doctor’s notes during the alleged scheme. Diaz is awaiting extradition to Orange County. All charges were dropped against Hadley on Monday. This has been a huge nightmare for me, she told reporters as she left the courthouse. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Frank Re: Text editor Dear Webby, Is there a simple text editor that doesn't have the problems that NotePad and WordPad have ? (messing up file name extensions, putting formatting info into the text, failing on long files, unpredictable searches, etc.) Preferably one that does not break the bank. Frank Dear Frank A very basic one is NoteMaid. You can download it free from http://webby.com/downloads/notemaid.zip If you want one that uses tabs for different files, and even split screen for easy copying from one file to another, there is NoteTab from http://notetab.com They have a free version, and a paid version, which won't break the bank. Try the free version first. The paid version might be a bit overwhelming with all the included tools. It does everything you need for writing a series of books or a university thesis, but if you simply ignore all the tools, it is a very powerful text editor. I have been using it for about 9 years for the Humor Letter. Have FUN! DearWebby
An auto mechanic received a repair order that read: "Check for clunking sound when going around corners." Taking the car out for a test drive, he made a right turn, and a moment later he heard a 'clunk.' He then made a left turn and again heard a 'clunk.' Back at the shop he opened the car's trunk, and soon discovered the problem. He returned the repair order to the service manager with the notation, "Removed dead pumpkin from trunk".
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Recycling Political Campaign Signs My biggest pet peeve around here is that after the election our city is littered with election signs and issue signs that no one ever gets around to picking up. So here is my solution. Everyone out there in Thrifty tip land probably has had a yard sale or two so here is my deal, grab up those signs and recycle them for your next yard sale. The ones that are just a plastic sleeve over a wire base can be reused by sliding off the plastic sleeve. Cut down a white kitchen trash bag and sizing it down to fit on the white frame snugly. Use big stick on letters to tell about your next sale. The ones that are rigid foam board can be spray painted to cover campaign slogans and your info stenciled on instead. Recycling at its best I say. By Debra in CO
Scary Road!
____________________________________________________ A young private sought permission from his Commanding Officer to leave camp the following weekend. "You see," he explained, "my wife's expecting." "Oh..." said the Officer, "I understand. Go ahead and tell your wife that I wish her luck." The following week the same soldier was back again with the same explanation: "My wife's expecting." The Officer looked surprised. "Still expecting?" he said, "Well, well, my boy, you must be pretty bothered. Of course you can have the week-end off." When the same soldier appeared again the third week, however, the Officer lost his temper. "Don't tell me your wife is still expecting!" he bellowed. "Yes sir!" said the soldier resolutely, "She's still expecting." "What in heaven is she expecting?" yelled the Officer. "Me." said the soldier simply. ____________________________________________________
This guy's talent is humongus!
There was a little old lady standing at a corner. She had both hands holding her hat on while the wind blew her dress up around her waist. A dignified southern gentleman came up and said, "Ma'am, you should be ashamed of yourself, letting your skirt blow around, being indecent, while both hands hold your hat." She said, "Look mister, everything down there is seventy years old. This hat is brand new!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today on January 19
1419 Rouen surrendered to Henry V, completing his
conquest of Normandy. 

1793 King Louis XVI was tried by the French Convention,
found guilty of treason and sentenced to the guillotine. 

1825 Ezra Daggett and Thomas Kensett of New York City
patented a canning process to preserve salmon, oysters
and lobsters. 

1883 Thomas Edison's first village electric lighting
system using overhead wires began operation in Roselle,

1915 George Claude, of Paris, France, patented the neon
discharge tube for use in advertising signs. 

1915 More than 20 people were killed when German
zeppelins bombed England for the first time. The bombs
were dropped on Great Yarmouth and King's Lynn. 

1937 Howard Hughes set a transcontinental air record. He
flew from Los Angeles to New York City in 7 hours, 28
minutes and 25 seconds. 

1942 The Japanese invaded Burma (later Myanmar). 

1944 The U.S. federal government relinquished control of
the nation's railroads after the settlement of a wage

1949 The salary of the President of the United States was
increased from $75,000 to $100,000 with an additional
$50,000 expense allowance for each year in office. 

1969 In protest against the Russian invasion of 1968,
Czech student Jan Palach set himself on fire in Prague's
Wenceslas Square. 

1971 At the Charles Manson murder trial, the Beatles'
"Helter Skelter" was played. At the scene of one of his
gruesome murders, the words "helter skelter" were written
on a mirror. 

1977 U.S. President Ford pardoned Iva Toguri D'Aquino
(the "Tokyo Rose"). 

1981 The U.S. and Iran signed an agreement paving the way
for the release of 52 Americans held hostage for more
than 14 months and for arrangements to unfreeze Iranian
assets and to resolve all claims against Iran. 

1983 China announced that it was bannning 1983 purchases
of cotton, soybeans and chemical fibers from the United

1993 IBM announced a loss of $4.97 billion for 1992. It
was the largest single-year loss in U.S. corporate

1995 Russian forces overwhelmed the resistance forces in

1996 U.S. first lady Hillary Rodham Clinton was
subpoenaed to appear before a federal grand jury. The
investigation was concerning the discovery of billing
records related to the Whitewater real estate investment

1997 Yasser Arafat returned to Hebron for the first time
in more than 30 years. He joined 60,000 Palestinians in
celebration over the handover of the last West Bank city
in Israeli control. 

2001 Texas officials demoted a warden and suspended three
other prison workers in the wake of the escape of the
"Texas 7." 

2006 NASA's New Horizons spacecraft was launched. The
mission was the first to investigate Pluto. 

2013 In Scottsdale, AZ, the original Batmobile for the TV
series "Batman" sold at auction for $4.6 million. It was
the first of six Batmobiles produced for the show. 

2016  smiled.

[ view entry ] ( 8 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 520 )

<<First <Back | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | Next> Last>>