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Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, February 14
Happy Valentines Day!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Boyfriend's comment about girlfriend's 'OK' spaghetti dinner
 leads to hours-long standoff with N.H. police
Details at  Boneheads
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Today, February 14 in
1929 The "St. Valentine's Day Massacre" took place in
Chicago, IL. Seven gangsters who were rivals of Al Capone
were killed. 
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
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______________________________________________________ Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years. Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ At the airport check-in counter, I overheard a woman ask for window seats for her and her husband. The clerk pointed out that this would prevent them from sitting together. "Sweetie," the woman replied, "I just spent ten days of 'quality time' in a compact car with this man. I know what I'm requesting." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Bob used to be a salesman, but he got tired of his job, gave it up and became a policeman. Several months later, I asked him how he liked his new role. "Well," he replied, "the pay is good and the hours aren't bad, but what I like best is that the customer is always wrong, no matter whether he actually is or not." ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jodi Ecklund, 33, Merrimack, N.H Boyfriend's comment about girlfriend's 'OK' spaghetti dinner leads to hours-long standoff with N.H. police Jodi Ecklund of Merrimack, N.H., barricaded herself inside her apartment with a Glock .9-mm and a M4 assault rifle after her live-in boyfriend told her that her spaghetti dinner was "OK," NH1 reports. Before fleeing the apartment and calling police, Jason Martin was allegedly punched in the face and arm by his girlfriend, who locked the door once he left. When officers with the Merrimack Police Department arrived, Ecklund allegedly warned officers she would kill them if they entered her residence. They did not like that! As the standoff continued Saturday afternoon, the piqued provider of pasta began destroying items inside the apartment, even going so far as to launch some of Martin's possessions out a window to the parking lot below. Finally, after several hours, authorities gained access to the apartment and took Ecklund into custody. She has since been charged with six felonies, including criminal mischief, criminal threatening and reckless conduct, as well as three misdemeanor counts of domestic violence. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Mike Re: 404 or 500 errors Dear Webby I have a problem with my Internet browser I get when proceeding to site error 404 forbidding area or error 500 not allowed to view this page .... my question is how do fix this, in laymen's terms Mike Dear Mike That is not your browser's fault. You see those errors if the webmaster forgot to upload the page you are looking for or if there is a server error. It could also be that there is a typo in the link that you used to get to that site. You can write to the webmaster of that site and ask for clarification. Have FUN! DearWebby
Thanks to Susan for this one: I began thinking about my own mortality after I became a widow. One day my daughter called home from college, and I announced to her, "I think it's time for us to talk about where I would like to be buried." "It's way too soon to even think of anything like that," she snapped indignantly. Then there was a brief silence. "Wait a minute, did you say married or buried?" When I repeated buried, she said, "Oh, okay, sure."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cleaning a Fabric Softener Dispenser By jellybeans64 [3 Posts, 12 Comments] Best Answer Did you try pouring some white vinegar into it a few times? This may work. I swear by the stuff! Terri
" target="_blank" >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zfzT7QfLZc"> the vegetarian's nightmare
____________________________________________________ Job Applicant Terminology and Translation: "I know how to deal with stressful situations" means: I'm usually on Prozac. When I'm not, I take lots of cigarette and coffee breaks. "I seek a job that will draw upon my strong communication and organizational skills" means: I talk too much and like to tell other people what to do. "I'm extremely adept at all manner of office organization" means: I've used Microsoft Word. "My pertinent work experience includes" means: I hope you don't ask me about all the McJobs I've had. "I take pride in my work" means: I blame others for my mistakes. "I'm balanced and centered" means: I'll keep crystals at my desk and do Tai Chi in the lunchroom. "I have a sense of humor" means: I know a lot of corny, old jokes and I tell them badly. "I'm willing to relocate" means: As I leave San Quentin, any where's better. "I'm extremely professional" means: I carry a Day-Timer. "My background and skills match your requirements" means: You're probably looking for someone more experienced. "I am adaptable" means: I've changed jobs a lot. "I am on the go" means: I'm never at my desk. "I am honest and reliable." means My time sheets are as phoney as the foam in the bra. "I am family oriented and responsible." means I expect time off with pay for taking kids to the dentist, doctor, zoo and Gramma. "I'm highly motivated to succeed" means: The minute I find a better job, I'm outta there. "I am friendly and cooperative." means I spread on Interview day, and to the end of probation if absolutely necessary. "I am very community oriented." means I write and print the newsletters for seven clubs on company paper, during working hours. "I have formal training" means: I'm a college dropout. "I have formal training and some certificates." means I dropped out after I knew enough WordPerfect to print up my own certificates. "I have lots of informal training from associating with experts in the field." means I once had a seat on the plane beside an expert. "I interact well with co-workers" means: I routinely accuse coworkers of sexual harassment if I don't get my way. "I am perficint in hendling coraspondince perfesionaly." Not suitable for anything involving a keyboard. "I am a fsat typsit nad do wel lat mulitaksing." means Dyslexic and not smart enough to use a spell-checker. "Thank you for your time and consideration" means: The Manpower booklet said to put that at the end. ----------------------- Do we bother reading resumes ? Yep. AFTER a quick refresher glance at this translator list. ___________________________________________________
More photos. A slide show of the beautiful Harbin Ice and Snow Sculpture Festival in China.
Golf Tips: 1. Back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart. 2. Form a loose grip. 3. Keep your head down. 4. Avoid a quick back swing. 5. Stay out of the water. 6. Try not to hit anyone. 7. If you are taking too long, please let others go ahead of you. 8. Don't stand directly in front of others. 9. Quiet please, while others are preparing to go. 10. Don't take extra strokes. Very good. Now flush the urinal, go outside and tee off.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
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Today on February 14

1778 The Stars and Stripes was carried to a foreign port, in
France, for the first time. It was aboard the American ship
Ranger. 

1803 Moses Coates received a patent for the apple parer. 

1849 The first photograph of a U.S. President, while in
office, was taken by Matthew Brady in New York City.
President James Polk was the subject of the picture. 

1876 Alexander Graham Bell filed an application for a patent
for the telephone. It was officially issued on March 7,
1876. 

1889 In Los Angeles, CA, oranges began their first trip to
the east. 

1899 The U.S. Congress approved voting machines for use in
federal elections. 

1900 Russia imposed tighter imperial control over Finland in
response to an international petition for Finland's freedom.


1900 In South Africa, British Gen. Roberts invaded Orange
Free State with 20,000 troops. 

1912 The first American diesel engine submarine was
commissioned in Groton, CT. 

1929 The "St. Valentine's Day Massacre" took place in
Chicago, IL. Seven gangsters who were rivals of Al Capone
were killed. 

1932 The U.S. won the first bobsled competition at the
Winter Olympic Games at Lake Placid, NY. 

1940 The first porpoise born in captivity arrived at
Marineland in Florida. 

1945 Peru, Paraguay, Chile and Ecuador joined the United
Nations. 

1946 ENIAC (Electronic Numerical Integrator and Computer)
was unveiled. The device, built at the University of
Pennsylvania, was the world's first general purpose
electronic computer. 

1961 Lawrencium, element 103, was first produced in Berkely,
CA. 

1962 U.S. First Lady Jacqueline Kennedy gave a tour of the
White House on television. 

1968 The fourth Madison Square Gardens opened. 

1979 Adolph Dubs, the U.S. ambassador to Afghanistan, was
kidnapped in Kabul by Muslim extremists. He was killed in a
shootout between his abductors and police. 

1985 Cable News Network (CNN) reporter Jeremy Levin was
freed. He had been being held in Lebanon by extremists. 

1989 Iran's Ayatollah Khomeini called on Muslims to kill
Salman Rushdie because of his novel "The Satanic Verses." 

1989 The first satellite of the Global Positioning System
was placed into orbit around Earth. 

1989 Union Carbide agreed to pay $470 million to the
government of India. The court-ordered settlement was a
result of the 1984 Bhopal gas leak disaster. 

1997 Astronauts on the space shuttle Discovery began a
series of spacewalks that were required to overhaul the
Hubble Space Telescope. 

1998 U.S. authorities officially announced that Eric Rudolph
was a suspect in a bombing of an abortion clinic in Alabama.


2002 Sylvester Stallone filed a lawsuit against Kenneth
Starr. The suit alleged that Starr had given bad advice
about selling Planet Hollywood stock. 

2003 In Madrid, Spain, a ceramic plate with a bullfighting
motif painted by Pablo Picasso in 1949 was stolen from an
art show. The plate was on sale for $12,400. 

2005 The video-sharing website YouTube was activated. 

2017  smiled.


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