Control automatically starting programs 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, March 15

Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
Liar, Liar, Pants on fire!
Miami lawyer’s pants erupt in flames during arson trial
Details at  Boneheads
Today, March 15 in
44 BC Roman Emperor Julius Caesar was assassinated by high
ranking Roman Senators. Thw Oracle had told him to watch it
on the "Ides of March." 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
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______________________________________________________ Politics is the skilled use of blunt objects. --- Lester B. Pearson (1897 - 1972) Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper. --- Francis Bacon Autobiography is an unrivaled vehicle for telling the truth about other people. --- Philip Guedalla ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ An Army major, was conducting a field test when communications went dead, just when headquarters initiated a call to him. Immediately, he jumped into a jeep and ordered a sergeant to speed to the command station. When the major and the sergeant ran in, the group cheered their arrival. The commanding officer then stepped forward and shook the major's hand. "Don't congratulate me, sir," he said modestly as he pointed to his driver. "It was all the sergeant's doing." The commanding officer nodded and turned to the sergeant. "Congratulations," he deadpanned without so much as a smirk. "The major's wife just had a baby girl." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A man sat at a bar, drinking slowly. On his face was the saddest hangdog expression. The bartender asked, "What's the matter? Are you having troubles with your wife?" The man said, "We had a fight, and she told me that she wasn't going to speak to me for a month." The bartender said, "That should make you happy!" The man said, "It did. Unfortunately, the month is up today!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Stephen Gutierrez, 28, the lawyer Claudy Charles, 48, the arsonist Miami, Florida Liar, Liar, Pants on fire! Miami lawyer’s pants erupt in flames during arson trial A Miami defense lawyer’s pants burst into flames Wednesday afternoon as he began his closing arguments in front of a jury — in an arson case. Stephen Gutierrez, who was arguing that his client’s car spontaneously combusted and was not intentionally set on fire, had been fiddling in his pocket as he was about to address jurors when smoke began billowing out his right pocket, witnesses told the Miami Herald. He rushed out of the Miami courtroom, leaving spectators stunned. After jurors were ushered out, Gutierrez returned unharmed, with a singed pocket, and insisted it wasn’t a staged defense demonstration gone wrong, observers said. Instead, Gutierrez blamed a faulty battery in an e- cigarette, witnesses told the Miami Herald. “It was surreal,” one observer told the Miami Herald. Repeated calls to Gutierrez’s cellphone went unanswered. Miami-Dade police and prosecutors are now investigating the episode. Officers seized several frayed e-cigarette batteries as evidence. “A lot of people could have been hurt,” another observer in court told the Miami Herald. Gutierrez was representing Claudy Charles, 48, who is accused of intentionally setting his car on fire in South Miami-Dade. He had just started his closing arguments when the fire broke out. Jurors convicted Charles anyway of second-degree arson. Miami-Dade Circuit Judge Michael Hanzman, in the coming days, could decide to hold Gutierrez in contempt of court. The 28-year-old lawyer graduated from Florida International University’s law school in 2015. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Randy Re: Control automatically starting programs Dear Webby I have way too many things starting up automatically and running in the background. How do I control what starts up automatically and what I have to start manually if and when I need it? Thanks Randy /i> Dear Randy The best way to prevent a program from running at Startup, is to check the program's own options for a way to prevent this. Most good quality programs will provide an option for this. If you can't find the option there, click Start, Run and type MSCONFIG Go to the Startup tab, and uncheck the item there. This method is not always 100% successful. An example is a program that you do use, but you don't want running automatically. Some programs will check to see if the program's own options say it should run at Startup. If the program thinks its supposed to load at startup, it will re-create the autorun entry. While MSCONFIG works, it's typical Microsoft. The information it gives you is maybe understandable to some Windows programmers, but is just a bunch of weird words for most people. A rainy weekend spent on google will help you make a list of what each of those weird things do. THEN you can make an informed decision about what is safe to disable. An alternative is to use the tools in Spybot-Search&Destroy from the right side menu. It is not only a lot more descriptive about the programs, but it won't let you disable anything that is required to be running. Have FUN! DearWebby
A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred for real. He asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?" Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven." Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart." Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know, I know! He's in our bathroom!!!" The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. Finally, he gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this. Little Johnny said, "Well . . . every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, "Jesus Christ! Are you still in there?!"
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Daily tip from Apple Pie for Pi Day By Jackie H. [227 Posts, 107 Comments]Pi Day (3/14) is an annual celebration of the mathematical constant Pi (3.14159...) Ingredients: 1 3 lb. bag apples, peeled, cored, sliced thin 1 bottom pie crust 1 roll pie crust, for top crust 2 Tbsp flour 1 Tbsp cinnamon dash of salt 1/4 cup sugar 2 Tbsp butter, cut into small cubes 1 egg beaten (for egg wash) Steps: Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Peel all apples, cut into quarters, core, then slice in thin slices. Put all slices in a bowl. Add sugar, cinnamon, flour, dash of salt Mix well with a large spoon, mixing the apples so they get well coated. Add the cubes of butter and fold into the apples Take your bottom crust, fill it well over the brim with apples, Build a mountain of apples in the middle. Using your clean hands, press the apples down to fill in any empty areas. Round off this mountain of apples. Using the roll out type of top crust, flour the surface, peel the crust out. Using a rolling pin, flour the rolling pin. Roll out just a little bigger. Carefully lie the pie crust over the apples evenly. Pinch the top crust with the bottom crust. Make 4 double slits in the center of the pie. Beat one egg. Using clean hands, scoop up some egg and rub it over the top and sides of the pie. This makes the pie shiny and golden brown. Cut aluminum foil in long thin strips. Put the foil around the edges of the crust until the last 10 minutes of baking. Remove and continue baking. Bake for 35 minutes or until it is golden brown and bubbly. Cook the pie on a baking sheet!
Swan Lake - not what you think
____________________________________________________ Secretary: "My printer is flashing '''Error 13 Paper Out" Buzzy: "Check to see if there is paper in the machine" Secretary: "Already did, no - there is no paper in the machine" Buzzy: "Try filling the paper bin, see if that fixes the 'error''." Secretary: "Hold on.... Yes that fixed it, but every time it runs out of paper I get the error again." Buzzy: "Hmmmm, I'll have to research that problem. Might be best if you drop the printer off at my office. By the way, the thermostat here does not work. Don`t wear more than your underwear when you come up here." ___________________________________________________
Taxiing down the tarmac, the jet abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?" "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," she explained. "It's OK now. It just took a while to find a pilot who is deaf."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today on March 15
44 BC Roman Emperor Julius Caesar was assassinated by high
ranking Roman Senators. The day is known as the "Ides of

1341 During the Hundred Years War, an alliance was signed
between Roman Emperor Louis IV and France's Philip VI. 

1493 Christopher Columbus returned to Spain after his first
New World voyage. 

1778 In command of two frigates, the Frenchman la Perouse
sailed east from Botany Bay for the last lap of his voyage
around the world. 

1781 During the American Revolution, the Battle of Guilford
Courthouse took place in North Carolina. British General
Cornwallis' 1,900 soldiers defeated an American force of

1862 General John Hunt Morgan began four days of raids near
the city of Gallatin, TN. 

1864 Red River Campaign began as the Union forces reach
Alexandria, LA. 

1875 The Roman Catholic Archbishop of New York, John
McCloskey, was named the first American cardinal. 

1877 The first cricket test between Australia and England
was played in Melbourne. Australia won by 45 runs. 

1892 New York State unveiled the new automatic ballot voting

1892 Jesse W. Reno patented the Reno Inclined Elevator. It
was the first escalator. 

1901 German Chancellor von Bulow declared that an agreement
between Russia and China over Manchuria would violate the
Anglo-German accord of October 1900. 

1902 In Boston, MA, 10,000 freight handlers went back to
work after a weeklong strike. 

1903 The British conquest of Nigeria was completed. 500,000
square miles were now controlled by the U.K. 

1904 Three hundred Russians were killed as the Japanese
shelled Port Arthur in Korea. 

1907 In Finland, women won their first seats in the Finnish
Parliament. They took their seats on May 23. 

1909 Italy proposed a European conference on the Balkans. 

1910 Otto Kahn offered $500,000 for a family portrait by
Dutch artist Frans Hals. Kahn had outbid J.P. Morgan for the

1916 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson sent 12,000 troops, under
General Pershing, over the border of Mexico to pursue bandit
Pancho Villa. The mission failed. 

1917 Russian Czar Nicholas II abdicated himself and his son.
His brother Grand Duke succeeded as czar. 

1919 The American Legion was founded in Paris. 

1922 Fuad I assumed the title of king of Egypt after the
country gained nominal independence from Britain. 

1934 Henry Ford restored the $5 a day wage. 

1935 Joseph Goebbels, German Minister of Propaganda banned
four Berlin newspapers. 

1937 In Chicago, IL, the first blood bank to preserve blood
for transfusion by refrigeration was established at the Cook
County Hospital. 

1938 Oil was discovered in Saudi Arabia. 

1939 German forces occupied Bohemia and Moravia, and part of

1944 Cassino, Italy, was destroyed by Allied bombing. 

1946 British Premier Attlee offered India full independence
after agreement on a constitution. 

1949 Clothes rationing in Great Britain ended nearly four
years after the end of World War II. 

1951 General de Lattre demanded that Paris send him more
troops for the fight in Vietnam. 

1951 The Persian parliament voted to nationalize the oil

1955 The U.S. Air Force unveiled a self-guided missile. 

1960 The first underwater park was established as Key Largo
Coral Reef Preserve. 

1964 In Montreal, Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor were

1968 The U.S. mint halted the practice of buying and selling

1982 Nicaragua's ruling junta proclaimed a month-long state
of siege and suspended the nation's constitution for one
day. This came a day after anti-government rebels destroyed
two bridges near the Honduran border. 

1985 In Brazil, two decades of military rule came to an end
with the installation of a civilian government. 

1989 The U.S. Food and Drug administration decided to
impound all fruit imported from Chili after two cyanide-
tainted grapes were found in Philadelphia, PA. 

1990 In Iraq, British journalist Farzad Bazoft was hanged
for spying. 

1990 Mikhail Gorbachev was elected the first executive
president of the Soviet Union. 

1990 The Ford Explorer was introduced to the public. 

1990 The Soviet parliament ruled that Lithuania's
declaration of independence was invalid and that Soviet law
was still in force in the Baltic republic. 

1991 Four Los Angeles police officers were indicted in the
beating of Rodney King on March 3, 1991. (California) 

1991 Yugoslav President Borisav Jovic resigned after about a
week of anit-communist protests. 

1994 U.S. President Clinton extended the moratorium on
nuclear testing until September of 1995. 

1996 The aviation firm Fokker NV collapsed. 

1998 More than 15,000 ethnic Albanians marched in Yugoslavia
to demand independence for Kosovo. 

2002 Libyan Abdel Baset Ali Mohmed Al-Megrahi began his life
sentence in a Scottish jail for his role in the bombing of
Pan Am Flight 103 on December 21, 1988. 

2002 In the U.S., Burger King began selling a veggie burger.
The event was billed as the first veggie burger to be sold
nationally by a fast food chain. 

2002 In Texas, Andrea Yates received a life sentence for
drowning her five children on June 20, 2001. 

2002 U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell told the
Associated Press that the U.S. would stand by a 24-year
pledge not to use nuclear arms against states that don't
have them. 

2017  smiled.

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