Can you bolt down a computer? 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, March 26

Europe goes on Summer Time today.

Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
Florida Woman Commits ID Theft 
To Pay For Plastic Surgery
Details at  Boneheads
Today, March 26 in
1804 The U.S. Congress ordered the removal of Indians 
east of the Mississippi to Louisiana. 

See More of what happened on this day in history.
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______________________________________________________ Of those who say nothing, few are silent. --- Thomas Neill No one can earn a million dollars honestly. --- William Jennings Bryan (1860 - 1925) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Myrna I love to read those advice columns in the newspaper. I read one this morning. It said, "What's the worst thing a wife can get on her twenty-fifth wedding anniversary?" And you know what the answer was? "Morning Sickness." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Working as a radiology technician in a hospital emergency room, I took X rays of a trauma patient. I brought the films to our radiologist, who studied the multiple fractures of both femurs and pelvis. "What happened to this patient?" he asked in astonishment. "He fell out of a tree," I reported. The radiologist wanted to know what the patient was doing up a tree. "I'm not sure, but his paperwork states he works for Acme Tree Experts." Looking again at the X rays, the radiologist said, "Cross out 'experts.'" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Walter the The Stonecarver for this picture: Typical Chicago ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Nyaira Thomas 20, Lakeland, Floriduh Florida Woman Commits ID Theft To Pay For Plastic Surgery A Florida woman accused of stealing someone's identity to pay for thousands of dollars in plastic surgery is on the run. Lakeland Police said they are looking for 20-year-old Nyaira Thomas for allegedly stealing a woman's identity and personal information to pay for breast implants, butt lift and lip injection. Detectives said Thomas opened a credit application at Watson Clinic in Lakeland using the identity of a woman living in Illinois. Police said the suspect had a fraudulent Illinois ID with her picture on it. Thomas had two procedures done on separate occasions. On Feb. 20, Thomas underwent surgery for breast implants, liposuction of her flanks, and the fat from the flanks were placed in her buttocks, according to a police report. Detectives said the suspect also received one CC of Juvederm in her lips on Feb. 27. The total cost for the procedures is $11,025. Detectives said they located a Lake Wales address off of a credit application report and identified Thomas as the culprit. Police are currently looking for the suspect. Target Goes Photoshop-Free in New Swimsuit Campaign She faces a slew of charges including grand theft, forgery and criminal use of personal ID. Anyone with information on Thomas' whereabouts is urged to call the Lakeland Police Department at 863-834-8993. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Roger Re: Bolting down a computer Dear Webby Is it safe to bolt or screw desktop computer down to the floor, so that it can't be moved? What is the best way to do it? Roger /i> Dear Roger With an upright case that is easier than you think. The bottom in it is usually free, with nothing in the way. Everything is attached to the side wall opposite to the wall, that opens. Take a drill with a small, 1/8" drill bit and drill a few holes into the bottom. Then line up the computer, so that you have full access to the back, where everything is plugged in and so that all cables can be plugged in. That might limit the locations! Once the location is satisfactory, use sheet-metal screws and screw the machine to the floor. They will widen the hole as necesary. Those screws are available with all kinds of heads, including tamper-proof. Have FUN! DearWebby
After the birth of their child, an Episcopal priest, wearing his clerical collar, visited his wife in the hospital. He greeted her with a long hug and a kiss, and gave her another hug and kiss when he left. Later, the wife's roommate commented, "Your pastor is sure a lot friendlier than mine!"
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Daily tip from Getting Rid of Ants in the Kitchen By anglophile [10 Comments] An exterminator said to put your used but unwashed jelly, jam and other sugar containing items outside near ant's access and they will clean those up and stay out of the house, works for us. I keep them hidden behind a decorative item. They will clean up those with regular sugar first and if desperate will clean out those with corn syrup. I have only had ants since if I forget to put the jars out in the spring. Saves the ants a long walk, lol. -------------- Other hints listed were to use Windex or Pledge.
Unloading a truck Taiwan-style
____________________________________________________ Three guys are fishing in the Caribbean. One guy says, "I had a terrible fire; lost everything. Now the insurance company is paying for everything and that's why I'm here." The second guy says, "I had a terrible explosion; lost everything. Now the insurance company is paying for everything and that's why I'm here." The third guy says, "What a coincidence. I had a terrible flood; lost everything. Now the insurance company is paying for everything and that's why I'm here." The other guys turn to him with confusion and ask, "Flood? How do you start a flood?" ___________________________________________________
Lets take a trip or two or three......
A teacher was taking her first golf lesson. "Is the word spelled 'p-u-t' or 'p-u-t-t'?" she asked the instructor. "'P-u-t-t' is correct," he replied. "'P-u-t' means to place a thing where you want it. 'P-u-t-t' means a vain attempt to do the same thing."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today on March 26
1026 Conrad II was crowned Holy Roman Emperor by Pope John

1799 Napoleon captured Jaffa Palestine. 

1793 The Holy Roman Emperor formally declared war on France.

1804 The U.S. Congress ordered the removal of Indians east
of the Mississippi to Louisiana. 

1804 The Louisiana Purchase was divided into the District of
Louisiana and the Territory of Orleans. 

1854 Charles III, duke of Parma, was attacked by an
assassin. He died the next day. 

1871 The Paris Commune was formally set up. 

1885 Eastman Kodak (Eastman Dry Plate and Film Co.) produced
the first commercial motion picture film in Rochester, NY. 

1898 In South Africa, the world's first game reserve, the
Sabi Game reserve, was designated. 

1909 Russian troops invaded Persia to support Muhammad Ali
as shah in place of the constitutional government. 

1910 The U.S. Congress passed an amendment to the 1907
Immigration Act that barred criminals, paupers, anarchists
and carriers of disease from settling in the U.S. 

1913 During the Balkan War, the Bulgarians took Adrianople. 

1917 At the start of the battle of Gaza, the British cavalry
withdrew when 17,000 Turks blocked their advance. 

1937 Spinach growers in Crystal City, TX, erected a statue
of Popeye. 

1938 Herman Goering warned all Jews to leave Austria. 

1942 The Germans began sending Jews to Auschwitz in Poland. 

1945 The battle of Iwo Jima ended. 

1945 In the Aleutians, the battle of Komandorski began when
the Japanese attempted to reinforce a garrison at Kiska and
were intercepted by a U.S. naval force. 

1953 Dr. Jonas Salk announced a new vaccine that would
prevent poliomyelitis. 

1958 The U.S. Army launched America's third successful
satellite, Explorer III. 

1962 The U.S. Supreme Court supported the 1-man-1-vote
apportionment of seats in the State Legislature. 

1971 Sheikh Mujibur Rahman declared East Pakistan to be the
independent republic of Bangladesh. 

1973 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat took over the
premiership and said "the stage of total confrontation (with
Israel) has become inevitable." 

1973 Women were allowed on the floor of the London Stock
Exchange for the first time. 

1979 The Camp David treaty was signed by Israel and Egypt
that ended the 31-year state of war between the countries. 

1983 The U.S. performed a nuclear test at the Nevada Test

1989 The first free elections took place in the Soviet
Union. Boris Yeltsin was elected. 

1991 The presidents of Argentina, Paraguay, Brazil and
Uruguay signed an agreement that established the Southern
Cone Common Market, a free-trade zone, by January 1, 1995. 

1992 In Indianapolis, heavyweight boxing champion Mike Tyson
was found guilty of rape. He was sentenced to 6 years in
prison. He only served three. 

1995 Seven of the 15 European Union states abolished border

1996 The International Monetary Fund approved a $10.2
billion loan for Russia to help the country transform its

1997 39 bodies of Heaven's Gate members are found in a
mansion in Rancho Santa Fe, CA. The group had committed
suicide thinking that they would be picked up by a spaceship
following behind the comet Hale-Bopp. 

1998 In the U.S., the Federal government endorses new HIV
test that yields instant results. 

1998 Unisys Corp. and Lockheed Martin Corp. pay a $3.15
million fine for selling spare parts at inflated prices to
the U.S. federal government. 

1999 The macro virus "Melissa" was reported for the first

1999 In Michigan, Dr. Jack Kevorkian was convicted of
second-degree murder for giving a terminally ill man a
lethal injection and putting it all on videotape on
September 17, 1998 for "60 Minutes." 

2000 The Seattle Kingdome was imploded to make room for a
new football arena. It was shown live on the Internet.

2000 In Russia, acting President Vladimir Putin was elected
president outright. He won a sufficient number of votes to
avoid a runoff election. 

2007 The design for the "Forever Stamp" was unveiled by the
U.S. Postal Service.

2017  smiled.

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