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Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, March 27

Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
Florida doctor and probationer charged with 
prescription fraud, again.

Details at  Boneheads
Today, March 27 in
1836 In Goliad, TX, about 350 Texan prisoners, including
their commander James Fannin, were executed under orders
from Gen. Antonio López de Santa Anna. An estimated 30
Texans escaped execution. 

See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Politics, n. Strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. --- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914) The great thing about television is that if something important happens anywhere in the world, day or night, you can always change the channel. --- From "Taxi" ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Form Noella Repairing the downspout" ... the wife said to me.... "Honey, go fix that gutter downspout! We've had that on our to do list for ages, and I want it done before the end of the day!" Well, as you all know, at our age, my friend, and most of our friends, are retired and we do have the time to address such "Honey do's"…. So, I invited some neighborhood buddies over to help with the project. One is a sheet metal fabricator. One brought his welder. One brought beer and Nachos. One brought a grill and burgers. Took us about 6 hours, and 30-40 beers, but we got it done just as we were finishing off the last of the beer and burgers. As usual, the wife is still not happy !! Can't understand, cause all us guys love it! Personally, I cannot wait for it to rain. ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ >From Marge: Dear Webby, can you please print that joke about the mathematical and the logical nuns again? Thanks Marge Sure, Marge! Here it is. There are two nuns. One of them is known as Sister Mathematical (SM) and the other one is known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent. SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants. SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us. SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most. What can we possibly do? SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster. SM: It's not working. SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster too. SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute. SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both. The man decided to follow Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried what has happened to Sister Logical. Then Sister Logical arrives. SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened! SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me. SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then? SL:The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could. SM: And? SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me. SM: Oh, dear! What did you do? SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up. SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do? SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants. SM: Oh, no! What happened then? SL: Isn't it logical,Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down........ (And those of you who thought it would be dirty, say two Hail Mary's.....) ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Dr. Christina Whitaker, 42, Gretchen Alldredge, 41, Coldwater, Florida Florida doctor and probationer charged with prescription fraud, again. Coldwater doctor Christina Whitaker, 42, was charged with eight felony drug charges on a warrant sought after a Coldwater Police investigation. Branch County District Court Judge Brent Weigle told her Friday morning in a video arraignment her bond would be $200,000 because of future charges. "There will be a significant number of similar complaints," said Coldwater Police Officer Jessica Elsaidi. Arrested with Whitaker was Gretchen Alldredge, 41, also charged in the scheme to obtain Adderall for Whitaker, who is addicted to the drug, according to the complaint. Elsaidi began her investigation following the arrest of Whitaker, after she obtained three pills of Vyvanse from an undercover informant in Hillsdale County. She was stopped in Branch County, and the drugs were located. Elsaidi went to the Michigan Automated Prescription System to find prescriptions for Adderall that Whitaker had written to other patients. The officer then went to Alldredge, who is on felony probation for possession of meth. The police report indicated that Alldredge admitted that she got the prescriptions for Whitaker. Whitaker paid her for them and gave Alldredge prescriptions for the painkiller Tramadol, Alldredge's drug of choice, in return. The drugs were obtained four times between August and October of 2016. Alldredge is charged with four counts of delivery of the Adderall. Whitaker is charged with conspiracy to obtain the drug. The charges are seven-year felonies. Both are charged with four counts of obtaining prescriptions by fraud, four year felonies. Alldredge is being held under a $100,000 bond. Preliminary proceedings are set for both April 4 and April 11. In 2007, Dr. Whitaker pleaded guilty to obtaining Adderall by fraud. Then in court, she said she had been told to use Adderall in medical school to help with her patient rapport. She said she turned to it again in a residency program and after she came to Coldwater. Adderall is a synthetic amphetamine. In January 2015, Aldredge was charged with possession of meth, after items were found with residue on them in her South Centennial Road home when her name appeared on pseudoephedrine purchase logs and police went to her home to talk with her. In April 2015, Alldredge was sentenced to 10 months jail and two years probation. A violation of probation is pending in Branch County Circuit Court. Both knew what to expect when caught. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Sharon Re: Not getting subscription at AOL Dear Webby I have not received your Humor site in over two months. Has something happened that I have missed? I take trips a lot and don't catch up previous entries. I do hope that you are okay and all is well with you. My prayers are with you ever day. One of your loving fans.always. God Bless you. Sharon /i> Dear Sharon Ask AOL support why you can't see it. Your subscription is getting sent out to you every night like it has been every night since 1994. Once it has entered the AOL server, there is nothing more, that I can do about it. Have FUN! DearWebby
A little old lady is sitting on a bench in Miami Beach. A man walks over and sits down on the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the woman asks, "Are you a stranger here?" He replies, "I used to live here years ago." "So, where were you all these years?" "In prison," he says. "For what did they put you in prison?" He looks at her, and very quietly says, "I killed my wife." "Oh," says the woman. "So you're single..."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Sweet Bacon Chicken By Sandi/Poor But Proud [572 Posts, 2,379 Comments] I have had this recipe in my book for over two years now and finally made it the night before Thanksgiving. It has three ingredients (not including a few spices) and is so good! Prep Time: 15 minutes Cook Time: 25-30 minutes Total Time: 40-45 minutes Yield: About 6 strips if you use a large breast. Source: course/chicken/sweet-spicy-bacon-chicken.html Link: I have had this recipe in my book for over two years now and finally made it the night before Thanksgiving. It has three ingredients (not including a few spices) and is so good! Prep Time: 15 minutes Cook Time: 25-30 minutes Total Time: 40-45 minutes Yield: About 6 strips if you use a large breast. Source: course/chicken/sweet-spicy-bacon-chicken.html Link: Sweet Bacon Chicken ingredients Ingredients: 2-3 chicken breasts (boneless and skinless) cut into larger strips 4-6 slices bacon, cut into halves lengthwise 1/2 cup brown sugar 2 Tbsp chili powder 1 tsp garlic powder 1 tsp onion powder Steps: When the chicken is cut up, sprinkle with garlic and onion. Wrap the cut bacon around the chicken so it is even. Roll the breasts in the brown sugar/chili powder mix and bake for 30-35 minutes at 350 degrees F. Serve with a side and perhaps a salad. Enjoy!
Jason Brown - Riverdance on Ice (starts at :25)
____________________________________________________ US State mottos: Alabama: Yes, We Have Electricity *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong! *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Arizona: But It's A Dry Heat *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Not Everything *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy's Don't Own It Yet *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money) *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes ... Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S" *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Many Tax Brackets) *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Michigan: First Line Of Defense From The Canadians *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes... And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies, And Very Little Else *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Nevada: Hookers and Poker! *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here! *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent pets *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- North Dakota: We Really Are One Of The 50 States! *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Oregon: Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Tennessee: The Edacashun State *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Texas: Si' Hablo Ing'les (Yes, I Speak English) *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Vermont: Yep *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix? *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds And Slackers! *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor? *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- West Virginia: One Big Happy Family... Really! *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Wyoming: Where Men Are Many ... and the sheep are scared! ___________________________________________________
Lets take a trip or two or three......
A construction boss in Boston was interviewing men when along came a guy named Vinny from New York. I'm not hiring any wise-ass New Yorker, the foreman thought, so he made up a test hoping that Vinny wouldn't be able to answer the questions, and he'd be able to refuse him the job without getting into a dispute. "Here's your first question," the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9." "Widout numbiz?" Vinny says. "Dat's easy," and he proceeds to draw 3 trees. "What's this?" the boss asks. The New Yorker replies, "Ain't you got no brains? Tree 'n Tree 'n Tree makes nine. Faghedaboutit......" "Fair enough," says the Boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time use the number 99." Vinny stares into space for a minute, then picks up the picture he has drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "Dare ya go, Buddy." The Boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?" Vinny says "Each a da tree's is dirty now! So it's dirty tree 'n dirty tree' n dirty tree-dat's 99". The Boss is getting worried he's going to have to hire the New Yorker, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules but this time use 100." Vinny stares into space again, then picks up the picture once again, makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Dare ya go, Mac, a hunnert." The Boss looks at the picture for a moment and says, "You must be nuts if you think that represents 100!" New York Vinny leans forward and points to the marks at the base of the trees. "A little doggie comes along and takes a crap on each a dem trees, so now ya got dirty tree an' a turd, dirty tree an' a turd, dirty tree an' a turd - which makes one hundred. Bada boom, bada bing.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today on March 27
1794 The U.S. Congress authorized the creation of the U.S.

1802 The Treaty of Amiens was signed ending the French
Revolutionary War. 

1836 In Goliad, TX, about 350 Texan prisoners, including
their commander James Fannin, were executed under orders
from Gen. Antonio López de Santa Anna. An estimated 30
Texans escaped execution. 

1836 The first Mormon temple was dedicated in Kirtland, OH. 

1841 The first steam fire engine was tested in New York
City. Steam pump, horse pulled.

1860 The corkscrew was patented by M.L. Byrn. 

1866 U.S. President Andrew Johnson vetoed the civil rights
bill, which later became the 14th amendment. 

1884 The first long-distance telephone call was made from
Boston to New York. 

1899 The first international radio transmission between
England and France was achieved by the Italian inventor G.

1900 The London Parliament passed the War Loan Act that gave
35 million pounds to the Boer War cause in South Africa. 

1900 The Russian army mobilized 250,000 troops for active

1901 Filipino rebel leader Emilio Aguinaldo was captured by
the U.S. 

1904 Mary Jarris "Mother" Jones was ordered by Colorado
state authorities to leave the state. She was accused of
stirring up striking coal miners. 

1907 French troops occupied Oudja, Morocco, as a punitive
action for the murder of French Dr. Muchamp. 

1912 The first cherry blossom trees were planted in
Washington, DC. The trees were a gift from Japan. 

1917 The Seattle Metropolitans, of the Pacific Coast League
of Canada, defeated the Montreal Canadiens and became the
first U.S. hockey team to win the Stanley Cup. 

1931 Actor Charlie Chaplin received France’s Legion of Honor

1933 About 55,000 people staged a protest against Hitler in
New York City. 

1933 In the U.S., the Farm Credit Administration was

1941 Tokeo Yoshikawa arrived in Oahu, HI, and began spying
for Japan on the U.S. Fleet at Pearl Harbor. 

1942 The British raided the Nazi submarine base at St.
Nazaire, France. 

1946 Four-month long strikes at both General Electric and
General Motors ended with a wage increase. 

1952 The U.S. Eighth Army reached the 38th parallel in
Korea, the original dividing line between the two Koreas. 

1958 Nikita Khrushchev became the chairman of the Soviet
Council of Ministers in addition to First Secretary of the
Communist Party. 

1958 The U.S. announced a plan to explore space near the

1993 In China, Communist Party leader Jiang Zemin was
appointed President. 

1997 Russian workers, nearly 2 million, held a nationwide
strike to protest unpaid wages. 

1997 In Australia, Governor-General William Deane signed a
bill to overturn a 1996 Northern Territory act to legalize
assisted suicides. The 1996 act was the first in the world
to permit assisted suicides. 

1998 In the U.S., the FDA approved the prescription drug
Viagra. It was the first pill for male impotence. 

1998 Top civilian aircraft makers in France, Spain, Germany
and Britain agreed to create a single European aerospace and
defense company. 

2004 NASA successfully launched a remote controlled X-43A
jet that hit Mach 7 (about 5,000 mph). 

2007 NFL owners voted to make instant replay a permanent
officiating tool.

2017  smiled.

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