Investment advice via email 
<B></B>




Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, April 2

Thank you, Judy!!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Colorado woman locked young children in 
bedroom at home while she was away in 
North Carolina
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 2 in
1801 During the Napoleonic Wars, the Danish ships were
destroyed by the British fleet at the Battle of Copenhagen. 
See More of what happened on this
day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Man is ready to die for an idea, provided that idea is not quite clear to him. --- Paul Eldridge In physics, you don't have to go around making trouble for yourself - nature does it for you. --- Frank Wilczek (1951 - ) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A big, burly man visited his pastor's home and asked to see the minister's wife, a woman well known for her charitable impulses. "Madam," he said in a broken voice, "I wish to draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family in this district. The father of the family is dead, the mother is too ill to work, and the nine children are starving. They are about to be turned into the cold, empty streets unless someone pays their rent, which amounts to $400." "How terrible!" exclaimed the preacher's wife. "May I ask who you are?" The sympathetic visitor applied his handkerchief to his eyes. "I'm Jacob Schwartz, the landlord," he sobbed. ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Nothing gets past these guys. A Harvard School of Public Health survey found that people report more noise and other disruptions in binge-drinking college neighborhoods than in other neighborhoods. And a $4 million study by University of Buffalo Research Institute on Addictions revealed that employees are much more likely to call in sick if they have drunk alcohol the night before. $4 million! No kidding? I could have told them that for free. ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kanesha Godin, 25, Fountain, Colorado Colorado woman locked young children in bedroom at home while she was away in North Carolina A woman faces two counts of felony child abuse after she allegedly left her two young children locked in a bedroom while away on a trip. Itís unclear exactly how long Kanesha Godin, 25, was away from the two children, but police say they were malnourished when they were discovered. The Fountain Police Department says it was called to the home in the 100 block of Wellington Street on March 8 after a friend of Godinís discovered the children werenít being cared for. Police say Godin claimed that she had arranged for a friend to check on the children while she was gone, to feed them and to change their diapers. She claimed that she had told the friend that a neighbor would be caring for the children day and night as well, according to the police department. But the friend eventually discovered that there was no neighbor checking on the children and called police. The bedroom in which the children were locked up had no working light and the temperature on the thermostat was turned up to 90. There was feces and urine all over the place as well as soiled diapers. Officers obtained an arrest warrant for Godin on Tuesday, and she turned herself in. According to El Paso County jail records, her bond was set at $25,000 but she also has two active duty Fort Carson holds. Godin is a Fort Carson soldier. The North Carolina native has been with the military for more than seven years. According to the arrest affidavit, Godin texted the woman who was feeding the children, "The police officers in fountain r guna ask u questions. They r guna put me in jail. I need u to do me a favor. I know wat I told u as far as the kids but plz say tht u were confused about who was supposed to stay the night. Cus if u dont say tht Im guna be charged with child neglect. And Cynthia actin shady af. They are guna take the kids. Erase these messages." The neighbor named by Godin told police that she had not seen the children since December 2016. She said that Godin did not ask her to babysit the children although she had babysat them in the past and she thought they were with their father. Godin had been estranged from the father of the kids for 16 months. The neighbor showed police a text that Godin sent her on March 9, "I need u to do me a favor. I need u to vouch as my daytime sitter. They r guna take my kids and throw me in jail and I did nothing wrong. I kno itís weird and a lot but I just want to ask u tht favor." Police did not say how old the children were or how long Godin was gone from her home. When her commanding officer found out about the kids he texted her and ordered her to get back from North Carolina with the next plane and turn herself in to the police immediately. She is due in court March 16. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Rosanna Re: Investment advice via email Dear Webby I received some investment advice in the email that warned that the US dollar ....... Rosanna Dear Rosanna No, of course not. You should not believe a word you read in spam. That's just moron bait. He is just trying to con you into bad investments and trying to get rid of what he is stuck with. Dump it! You get better investment advice from a penny scale. Right now it would be best to just double your money. Fold it in half and stick it back into your wallet, or invest it in your own business. Pay off loans, buy tools, equipment and supplies. Have FUN! DearWebby
Thoughts on Marriage NOVICE: Do clever men make good husbands? SAGE: Clever men don't BECOME husbands! A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine." WIFE: The 2 things I cook best are meatloaf and apple pie. HUSBAND: Which is this? NEWLYWED: Do you want dinner? SPOUSE: Sure, what are my choices? NEWLYWED: Yes and no. DIET DEFINITION: The word 'stressed' makes perfect sense when you realize it is 'desserts' spelled backwards. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Easy Meatless Quiche Recipe Quiche can be an easy meal to make if a visitor turns out to be a vegetarian. By Donna [396 Posts, 403 Comments] Total Time: 1hour 15 minutes Yield: 2 pies Ingredients: 2 pre made pie crusts (the roll out ones in the refrigerated section were great size to make a nice edge and they tasted better than the frozen ones! 1 1/2 cup half and half 8 eggs 1 can of 'cream of' soup (I have used cream of celery, cream of mushroom and cream of brocolli on different occasions) 1/2 cup various cut up veggies (Celery, carrots, onions, red or green pepper, mushrooms, broccoli) 1/4 cup flour 1 cup shredded cheese (cheddar, swiss or your favorite) salt and pepper 1/4 tsp garlic salt (optional) 1/8 tsp tumeric or your favorite spices (optional) Note: I added some mushrooms to one of my pies and not the other and sprinkled paprika on top to differentiate the two. Feel free to add your favorite veggies and spices to your recipe for your guests tastes! Steps: Cut up your choice of veggies and dredge in flour. Add to the bottom of the uncooked pie crusts. Mix together the eggs, half and half and creamed soup. Pour on top of the floured veggies. Cover the edges of your pie crust with aluminum foil so it doesn't burn Bake in a 425 degree oven for 45 minutes. Remove the aluminum foil from the edges and bake 15 minutes longer (or until brown) Let it rest a while and it will condense somewhat. Enjoy!
Lightning hits car in Morocco
____________________________________________________ The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said, "I'm so happy to see you grandma. Now maybe daddy will do the trick he has been promising us." The grandmother was curious. "What trick is that my dear," she asked. The little boy replied, "I heard daddy tell mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to visit us again." ___________________________________________________
A Panda day care center.
>From Len, many years ago: The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, "Who owns the big white horse outside?" The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gun belt, and said, "I do, ... Why?" The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you would like to know that your horse is about dead outside!" The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside, and sure enough, Silver was ready to die from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got the horse water, and soon, Silver was s tarting to feel a little better. The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better." Tonto said, "Sure, Kemosabe," and took off running circles around Silver. Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the bar to finish his beer. A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and asks, "Who owns that big white horse outside?" The Lone Ranger stands again, and claims, "I do, what's wrong with him this time?" The cowboy looks him in the eye and says, "Nothing, but you left your Injun runnin'." Len, if you read this, send an email!
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on April 2
1513 Spanish explorer Juan Ponce de Leon sighted Florida.
The next day he went ashore. 

1792 The U.S. Congress passed the Coinage Act to regulate
the coins of the United States. The act authorized $10
Eagles, $5 Half Eagles, $2.50 Quarter Eagle gold coins,
silver dollars, dollars, quarters, dimes and half-dimes to
be minted. 

1801 During the Napoleonic Wars, the Danish ships were
destroyed by the British fleet at the Battle of Copenhagen. 

1860 The first Italian Parliament met in Turin. 

1865 Confederate President Davis and most of his Cabinet
fled the Confederate capital of Richmond, VA. 

1872 G.B. Brayton received a patent for the gas-powered
streetcar. 

1889 Charles Hall patented aluminum. 

1902 The first motion picture theatre opened in Los Angeles
with the name Electric Theatre. 

1905 The Simplon rail tunnel officially opened. The tunnel
went under the Alps and linked Switzerland and Italy. 

1910 Karl Harris perfected the process for the artificial
synthesis of rubber. 

1917 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson presented a declaration
of war against Germany to the U.S. Congress. 

1932 A $50,000 ransom was paid for the infant son of Charles
and Anna Lindbergh. He child was not returned and was found
dead the next month. 

1935 Sir Watson-Watt was granted a patent for RADAR. 

1944 The Soviet Union announced that its troops had crossed
the Prut River and entered Romania. 

1947 The U.N. Security Council voted to appoint the U.S. as
trustee for former Japanese-held Pacific Islands. 

1958 The National Advisory Council on Aeronautics was
renamed NASA. 

1960 France signed an agreement with Madagascar that
proclaimed the country an independent state within the
French community.

1963 Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King began the first non-
violent campaign in Birmingham, AL. 

1966 South Vietnamese troops joined in demonstrations at Hue
and Da Nang for an end to military rule. 

1967 In Peking, hundreds of thousands demonstrated against
Mao foe Liu Shao-chi. 

1972 Burt Reynolds appeared nude in "Cosmopolitan" magazine.


1981 In Lebanon, thirty-seven people were reported killed
during fighting in the cities of Beirut and Zahle. It was
the worst violence since the 1976 cease fire. 

1982 Argentina invaded the British-owned Falkland Islands.
The following June Britain took the islands back. 

1983 The New Jersey Transit strike that began on March 1
came to an end. 

1984 In Jerusalem, three Arab gunmen wounded 48 people when
they opened fire into a crowd of shoppers. 

1986 On a TWA airliner flying from Rome to Athens a bomb
exploded under a seat killing four Americans. 

1987 The speed limit on U.S. interstate highways was
increased to 65 miles per hour in limited areas. 

1989 General Prosper Avril, Haiti's military leader,
survived a coup attempt. The attempt was apparently provoked
by Avril's U.S.-backed efforts to fight drug trafficking. 

1990 Iraqi President Saddam Hussein threatened to incinerate
half of Israel with chemical weapons if Israel joined a
conspiracy against Iraq. 

1992 Mob boss John Gotti was convicted in New York of murder
and racketeering. He was later sentenced to life in prison. 

1996 Russia and Belarus signed a treaty that created a
political and economic alliance in an effort to reunite the
two former Soviet republics. 

1996 Lech Walesa resumed his old job as an electrician at
the Gdansk shipyard. He was the former Solidarity union
leader who became Poland's first post-war democratic
president. 

2002 Israeli troops surrounded the Church of the Nativity.
More than 200 Palestinians had taken refuge at the church
when Israel invaded Bethlehem. 

2014 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that limits on the total
amount of money individuals can give political candidates
and political action committees were unconstitutional. 

2017  smiled.


[ view entry ] ( 10 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 676 )

<<First <Back | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | Next> Last>>