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Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, April 4

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
North Carolina man arrested for killing newborn 
and toddler daughters: BLM
Details at  Boneheads
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Today, April 4 in
1581 Francis Drake was knighted by Queen Elizabeth I. A few
months earlier he became the first Englishman to
circumnavigate the world. 
See More of what happened on this
day in history.
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If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead. --- Samuel Goldwyn (1882 - 1974) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop." Customer: "OK." Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?" Customer: "No." Tech Support: "OK. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?" Customer: "No." Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?" Customer: "Sure, you told me to 'WRITE CLICK' and I wrote 'click'." ______________________________________________________ At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn't hear the question. "Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated. The witness still did not respond. Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question." "Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking to you. Nobody ever gave ME no money or compermising anything." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it? Finally he offered to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16. She agreed. He had been counting the years off on his calendar, and one day the teenager who had been collecting the meat each week, came into the shop and said, "I'll be 16 tomorrow." "I know," said the butcher with a smile, "I've been counting too, tell your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat she'll get, and watch the expression on her face." When the boy arrived home he told his mother. The woman nodded and said, "Son, go back to the butcher and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk, free groceries and free rent for the last 16 years, and watch the expression on HIS face!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Tillman Freeman III, 30, Fayetteville, North Carolina North Carolina man arrested for killing newborn and toddler daughters: BLM BLM A Fayetteville, North Carolina, mother who had just given birth to a baby girl should have been celebrating her new arrival. Instead, she was frantically trying to find out where her daughter was. Candice Freeman's four-day-old baby, Genesis Freeman, was missing along with her two-year-old sister, Serenity Freeman. The mother went to a doctor's appointment and came home to find her children were gone. She had left them with their father, Tillman Freeman, who was also gone, according to The New York Daily News. Candice Freeman called the police to report her missing children and a search ensued. Tillman was located after employees at a doctor's office in a neighboring town contacted police to “report a man acting suspiciously outside the building.” As ABC7 reports, Tillman was arrested at the scene. He refused to tell police where his daughters were once he was in custody. Tillman was charged with two counts of child neglect and child abuse; but that was just the beginning of the charges the man would come to face. Authorities later found Genesis and Serena's bodies in the woods, in his car. They were both stabbed to death. The reason the children were killed allegedly stems from their father's jealousy. According to WTKR, Tillman believed his wife was cheating on him. According to The Fayetteville Observer, Tillman already has a long rap sheet— he has served time in prison for robbery, assault, and burglary. He was also previously placed on probation for drug and theft charges. Tillman has now been charged with two counts of first degree murder for killing his four-day-old and two-year-old children. He is being held without bail. As for Candice Freeman, she is currently recovering in the hospital. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Terry Re: Blacklist or filters? Dear Webby What is better for controlling spam, blacklisting, or filters? Terry Dear Terry Whenever you spot a pattern, make a filter. Filters are permanent. Your blacklist grows large and unwieldy very quickly, but is usually quite useless, since spammers never re-use the same forged sending address anyway. The only difference you'll notice when you dump your blacklist, is that the program works faster. Filters can work on the body of the email, not just on the usually forged sender address, and they do that no matter how misleading the subject line is. Have FUN! DearWebby
Nancy went into her local hardware store and bought two instant barbeques - the ones with the pictures of succulent foods on the lid. The next day, she returned one of these to the customer service desk at the store complaining that there was no food inside! The assistant patiently told her that these were just barbeque trays and that the food was not supplied with them. "Oh dear" said the lady. "I'd better take the other one out of the freezer then"!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cleaning Mineral Deposits from a Tea Kettle By Holly [365 Posts, 1,258 Comments] Best Answer If you have any old lemon juice in the fridge that is too old to be used, boil it in the kettle. Or boil vinegar in the kettle. A couple of soakings, boilings and thorough washings will help. Then use filtered water to keep the pot cleaner. No matter whether you use lemon juice or vinegar, you have to fill up the kettle with it. Right to the top! You don't need a rolling boil, just a gentle simmer for an hour or two. Have FUN! DearWebby
Foot Juggling
____________________________________________________ >From Rose: My first grade daughter and her friend both needed new boots The friend got in the car one morning and finally had gotten her boots. "Tina," I commented, "I see you got new boots! Where did you get them?" "At the store," she answered. "Which one?" I asked. She began looking at her new boots and after a pause said, "Both of them!" ___________________________________________________
Start your week with a smile with animal funnies.
A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way. With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men and soon, the ship had left port and was streaming out of the channel. The ensign's efficiency has been remarkable. In fact, the deck was abuzz with talk that he had set a new record for getting a destroyer under way. The ensign glowed at his accomplishment and was not all surprised when another seaman approached him with a message from the captain. He was, however, a bit surprised to find that it was a radio message, and he was even more surprised when he read, "My personal congratulations upon completing your underway preparation exercise according to the book and with amazing speed. In your haste, however, you have overlooked one of the rules: To ensure that you won't be courtmartialled and hanged for stealing a ship, make sure the Captain is aboard before getting under way."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
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Today on April 4

0896 Formosus ended his reign as pope. 

1541 Ignatius of Loyola became the first superior-general of
the Jesuits. 

1581 Francis Drake was knighted by Queen Elizabeth I. A few
months earlier he became the first Englishman to
circumnavigate the world. 

1687 King James II ordered that his declaration of
indulgence be read in church. 

1812 The territory of Orleans became the 18th U.S. state and
later became known as Louisiana. 

1850 The city of Los Angeles was incorporated. 

1862 In the U.S., the Battle of Yorktown began as Union
General George B. McClellan closed in on Richmond, VA. 

1887 Susanna M. Salter became mayor of Argonia, KS, making
her the first woman mayor in the U.S. 

1902 British Financier Cecil Rhodes left $10 million in his
will that would provide scholarships for Americans to Oxford
University in England. 

1905 In Kangra, India, an earthquake killed 370,000 people. 

1914 The first known serialized moving picture opened in New
York City, NY. It was "The Perils of Pauline". 

1917 The U.S. Senate voted 90-6 to enter World War I on the
Allied side. 

1918 The Battle of Somme, an offensive by the British
against the German Army ended. 

1932 After five years of research, professor C.G. King, of
the University of Pittsburgh, isolated vitamin C. 

1945 At the end of WWII Hungary was liberated from Nazi
occupation. 

1945 At the end of World War II, U.S. forces liberated the
Nazi death camp Ohrdruf in Germany. 

1949 Twelve nations signed a treaty to create The North
Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO). 

1953 Fifteen doctors were released by Soviet leaders. The
doctors had been arrested before Stalin had died and were
accused of plotting against him. 

1967 The U.S. lost its 500th plane over Vietnam. 

1967 Johnny Carson quit "The Tonight Show." He returned
three weeks later after getting a raise of $30,000 a week. 

1968 Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated at the age of
39. 

1969 Dr. Denton Cooley implanted the first temporary
artificial heart. 

1971 Veterans stadium in Philadelphia, PA, was dedicated
this day. 

1973 In New York, the original World Trade Center twin
towers opened. At the time they were the tallest building in
the world. 

1975 More than 130 people, most of them children, were
killed when a U.S. Air Force transport plane evacuating
Vietnamese orphans crashed just after takeoff from Saigon. 

1979 Zulfikar Ali Bhutto, the president of Pakistan, was
executed. He had been convicted of conspiring to murder a
political opponent. 

1981 Henry Cisneros became the first Mexican-American
elected mayor of a major U.S. city, which was San Antonio,
TX. 

1983 At Cape Canaveral, the space shuttle Challenger took
off on its first flight. It was the sixth flight overall for
the shuttle program. 

1984 U.S. President Reagan proposed an international ban on
chemical weapons. 

1985 In Sudan, a coup ousted President Nimeiry and replaced
him with General Dahab. 

1986 Wayne Gretzky set an NHL record with his 213th point of
the season. 

1987 The U.S. charged the Soviet Union with wiretapping a
U.S. Embassy. 

1988 Arizona Governor Evan Mecham was voted out of office by
the Arizona Senate. Mecham was found guilty of diverting
state funds to his auto business and of trying to impede an
investigation into a death threat to a grand jury witness. 

1990 In the U.S., securities law violator Ivan Boesky was
released from federal custody. 

1991 Pennsylvanian Senator John Heinz and six others were
killed when a helicopter collided with Heinz's plane over a
schoolyard in Merion, PA. 

1992 Sali Berisha became the first non-Marxist president of
Albania since World War II. 

1994 Netscape Communications (Mosaic Communications) was
founded. 

1995 U.S. Senator Alfonse D'Amato ridiculed judge Lance Ito
using a mock Japanese accent on a nationally syndicated
radio program. D'Amato apologized two days later for the
act. 

2017  smiled.


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