No site that lists ID thefts 
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Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, April 5

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Floriduh mom attacked a teen, took her cell phone 
and ruined her car, bragging on Facebook about 
her actions.
Details at  Boneheads
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Today, April 5 in
1614 American Indian Pocahontas married English 
colonist John Rolfe in Virginia. 
See More of what happened on this
day in history.
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If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Whenever you hear the consensus of scientists agrees on something or other, reach for your wallet, because you're being had. --- Michael Crichton (1942 - 2008) A small town is someplace where everybody knows whose booze is good, and whose wife isn't. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The police recently busted a man selling ' secret formula' tablets he claimed gave eternal youth. When going through their files they noticed it was the fifth time he was caught for commiting this same criminal medical fraud. He had earlier been arrested in 1794, 1856, 1928 and 1983. ______________________________________________________ Boudreaux found Thibodeaux walking down the levee, looking really down in the dumps. Naturally, he asked Thibodeaux what the problem was. Thibodeaux told Boudreaux, "Well, me and Clothile done had our first fight last night." Boudreaux says, "Aw, dat's too bad. What y'all had a fight about?" Thibodeaux tells him, "Mais, I told her a joke about de Pope." Boudreaux says, "Mais, Thib, why did you do that? You knows dat Clothile is Catholic." Thibodeaux replies, "Yah, I knew dat, but I didn't know de Pope was too." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ An older gentleman had an appointment to see a urologist who shared an office with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients. As he approached the receptionist desk he noticed that the receptionist was a very large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. He gave her his name. In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, "YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?" All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man. He recovered quickly though, and in an equally loud voice replied, "NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION FOR MY COUSIN, BUT HE DOESN'T WANT THE SAME QUACK WHO DID YOURS." ______________________________________________________ Somebody needs to go on a diet! ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ernstlatta LaFrance, 30, Carol City, Floriduh Floriduh mom attacked a teen, took her cell phone and ruined her car, bragging on Facebook about her actions. A mother faces multiple charges after police said she went to a South Florida high school during dismissal and knocked the cellphone out of the hand of her daughter’s rival, while hitting the girl several times. But the Monday afternoon confrontation didn’t end there, police said in an arrest report for Ernstlatta LaFrance, 30. When the Carol City High School student went to LaFrance’s nearby townhome to get her phone, the woman broke the teen’s middle finger and destroyed her car with an ax. LaFrance’s partner, Erlisa Evans, 28, stepped outside the home and fired a gun into the air three times, according to an arrest report. She’s now facing charges of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and firing a gun into the air. The Miami Herald reports the incident was sparked by an earlier fight between LaFrance’s daughter and a group of girls at the Miami-Dade County Fair & Exposition. LaFrance also posted a video of the fight on Facebook, warning “those messing with her daughter to be aware,” the report said. “The defendant also bragged on Facebook telling the victim that suffering two black eyes was not the end and she would use a gun,” the officer wrote in the arrest report. LaFrance now faces a number of charges including strong- armed robbery, child abuse and aggravated battery and is being held on a $38,000 bond. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Darrel Re: ID theft announcement site Dear Webby Is there any site i can go to that will tell me if I've been a victim of identity theft? thanks for all your help and humor. darrell Dear Darrel No, there is no such site. The thieves don't report whose data they have stolen. They just use it and sell it. Have FUN! DearWebby
Official sign near door: Door Alarmed. Hand-printed sign nearby: Window frightened.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Bean Salsa and Feta Salad By Judy Pariser S. [270 Posts, 1,988 Comments] Trader Joe's had a sampling today of lentil bruschetta feta salad. It was delicious, and I adapted it to what I had at home. The feta was a great find at Dollar Tree. Ingredients: 1 can (16 oz) chickpeas 1/3 jar salsa (I used mild) 1 1/2 oz Feta cheese Steps: Rinse and drain the beans. Place the beans in a bowl. Add a few spoonfuls of salsa until the beans are covered. Gently fold in the feta. Add more salsa at this point if you wish.
Basement replacement
____________________________________________________ lived in the country, and as a result seldom had guests. was eager to help mother after dad appeared with two dinner guests from the office. When the dinner was nearly over, went to the kitchen and proudly carried in the first piece of apple pie, giving it to dad who passed it to a guest. came in with a second piece of pie and gave it to dad, who again gave it to a guest. This was too much for , who said, "It's no use, Dad. The pieces are all the same size." ___________________________________________________
Very unusual vehicles.
* In a Maine restaurant: "Open seven days a week and weekends." * On a New York convalescent home: "For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church" * Outside a country shop in West Virginia: "We buy junk and sell antiques." * In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store: "15 men's wool suits - $100 - They won't last an hour!" * A sign seen on a restroom dryer at O'Hare Field in Chicago: "Do not activate with wet hands." * In a New York restaurant: "Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager." * In the offices of a New Jersey loan company: "Ask about our plans for owning your home." * On a Tennessee highway: "Take notice: when this sign is under water, this road is impassable." * On the grounds of a private school in Connecticut: "No trespassing without permission." * In a New York medical building: "Mental Health Prevention Center" Must be inspired by the senate!
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
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Today on April 5
1242 Russian troops repelled an invasion attempt by the
Teutonic Knights. 

1614 American Indian Pocahontas married English colonist
John Rolfe in Virginia. 

1806 Isaac Quintard patented the cider mill. 

1843 Queen Victoria proclaimed Hong Kong to be a British
crown colony. 

1869 Daniel Bakeman, the last surviving soldier of the U.S.
Revolutionary War, died at the age of 109. 

1887 Anne Sullivan taught Helen Keller the meaning of the
word "water" as spelled out in the manual alphabet. 

1892 Walter H. Coe patented gold leaf in rolls. 

1892 In New York, the Ithaca Daily Journal published an ad
introducing a new 10 cent Ice Cream Specialty called a
Cherry Sunday. 

1908 The Japanese Army reached the Yalu River as the
Russians retreated. 

1919 Eamon de Valera became president of Ireland. 

1923 Firestone Tire and Rubber Company began the first
regular production of balloon tires. 

1930 Mahatma Ghandi defied British law by making salt in
India. 

1933 The first operation to remove a lung was performed at
Barnes Hospital in St. Louis, MO. 

1941 German commandos secured docks along the Danube River
in preparation for Germany’s invasion of the Balkans. 

1951 Americans Julius and Ethel Rosenberg were sentenced to
death for committing espionage for the Soviet Union. 

1953 Jomo Kenyatta was convicted and sentenced to 7 years in
prison for orchestrating the Mau-Mau rebellion in Kenya. 

1955 Winston Churchill resigned as British prime minister. 

1986 A discotheque in Berlin was bombed by Libyan
terrorists. The U.S. attacked Libya with warplanes in
retaliation on April 15, 1986. 

1989 In Poland, accords were signed between Solidarity and
the government that set free elections for June 1989. The
eight-year ban on Solidarity was also set to be lifted. 

1998 The Akashi Kaikyo Bridge in Japan opened becoming the
largest suspension bridge in the world. It links Shikoku and
Honshu. The bridge cost about $3.8 billion. 

1999 Two Libyans suspected of bombing a Pan Am jet in 1988
were handed over so they could be flown to the Netherlands
for trial. 270 people were killed in the bombing. 

2004 Near Mexico City's international airport, lightning
struck the jet Mexican President Vicente Fox was on. 

2009 North Korea launched the Kwangmyongsong-2 rocket,
prompting an emergency meeting of the United Nations
Security Council. 

2017  smiled.


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