Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, April 12
Todays Bonehead Award:
Australian Rapper Terry Peck skipped out on
$621 food and booze bill
Details at Boneheads
Today, April 12 in
1204 The Fourth Crusade sacked Constantinople.
See More of what happened on this
day in history.
Laugh and the world laughs with you,
snore and you sleep alone.
--- Anthony Burgess (1917 - 1993)
Silly is you in a natural state, and serious is
something you have to do until you can get silly again.
--- Mike Myers
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Olga and Cherie had been friends for many decades. Over
the years they had shared all kinds of activities and
adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to
meeting a few times a week to play cards.
One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other
and said, "Now don't get mad at me..... I know we've been
friends for a long time..... but I just can't think of your
name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it.
Please tell me what your name is."
Cherie glared at her. For at least three minutes she just
stared and glared at her.
Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
A railway inspector in Arkansas was making the
rounds of a railway station and yard in a small town.
He located Hank, a man who had worked in the
rail yard for almost forty years.
He questioned Hank about various safety considerations
and seemed to be satisfied that Hank was genuinely
knowledgeable about railway safety.
As a last question, he asked Hank what he would do if
he saw two trains approaching each other, on the same
track, travelling at speeds of 60 miles per hour?
Hank said "I'd yell R.T."
The railway inspector, puzzled by
this, asked, "What's an R.T. ?"
Hank said, "R.T.'s my buddy and he's got one of them
It Snowed Again Last Night
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by
Southport, Gold Coast,
Australian Rapper Terry Peck skipped out on
$621 food and booze bill
An aspiring rapper gorged himself on seafood and alcohol at
a Gold Coast restaurant and then fled into the surf without
paying his $621 bill, a Queensland court has heard.
Terry Peck, 33, allegedly devoured two lobsters, 17 oyster
shooters, a baby octopus, and several beers at Main Beach's
Omeros Bros Restaurant, all by himself, because his fan did
not want to be seen with him, before making his getaway.
The staff from Main Beach restaurant took off in hot
Peck, who goes by the name 2pec, ran onto the beach and into
the surf, and efforts to cajole him back to shore were
Two police jumped on a lifeguard's jet ski, caught and
tenderized him and handcuffed him right in the ocean before
towing him to the beach.
Peck was charged with stealing and two counts of serious
assault of a police officer, and appeared in the Southport
Magistrates Court today.
The court heard Peck allegedly committed the offences while
on parole after being released from prison in February.
Tech Support Pits
Re: Keyboard shortcuts
I got all your old keyboard shortcuts and love them.
Do you have any new ones?
Yes, there are some that are not in my old list of keyboard
shortcuts. They are for browsing and work on most browsers.
I use Chrome, except for posting on forums and for shopping,
where Chrome fails when you try to preview. For that you
have to use FireFox. They still have not fixed that Chrome
OK, here is the most important shortcut, that you can't
replace by mousing around:
If you restart because of some silly updates or because your
147 open tabs got the memory all bunged up, the browser may
or may not open with all your tabs. Sometimes it may briefly
ask if you want it to restore all the old tabs. If you don't
get your curser onto that little pop-up within 1.5 seconds,
you are stuck with a browser, that has forgotten all your
Even worse, if you had 3 browser windows, each with lots of
CTRL T restores one browser window with all it's tabs.
While you got your paws on the keyboard, hit it again!
and the next window is restored
CTRL T again, and the third window is restored!
If you accidentally closed a tab, and just as it cloed you
spotted something interesting?
CTRL SHIFT T re-opens it.
Got CTRL T firmly scratched into the monitor frame?
If you keep a whole bunch of tabs open, then you really
should get the ONE-TAB browser extension.
It is like a manageable history.
ALT SHIFT Z closes a tab and puts it into the ONE-TAB list.
You can re-open it at any time.
You can even change ALT SHIFT Z to whatever is most
comfortable for your hand.
Isn't that downright civilized?
Also very handy is the space bar when you are reading a long
article. It scrolls you down one paragraph.
You probably know about CTRL D for bookmarking a page and
putting it into the chaos, where you can never find
If you ever want to make the bookmarks usable, export them
and put them into a spreadsheet.
Add a new column on the left and put rating numbers or
category codes into that column. Yes, I know, the exporting
from Chrome rather lame. You can't export in CSV format,
just in HTML, but most modern spreadsheets can handle that.
After you have your bookmarks in a spreadsheet, dump the
ones in the browser and start fresh.
That way you can simply add the fresh ones once a month or
year to the spreadsheet.
In the spreadsheet, of course, you can sort them any way you
want and re-sort differently in a second.
Next one is CTRL K
If you want to search for purple peale eaters, hit CTRL K
and the search bar opens, start typing your search phrase
and hit ENTER.
CTL L gets the cursor to the URL line, ready to type in the
domain name of your choice.
Overloaded your memory yet?
Say you want to go to the 7th tab. CTRL 7
CTRL and the number of the tab you want, jumps you there.
OK, OK, I'll quit in a moment.
One more important shortcut. Lets say you want slightly
bigger fonts: CTRL +
Smaller: CTRL -
There are a few more, but these are the most important ones.
>Thanks to Cookie for these daffinitions:
BLAMESTORMING. Sitting around in a group, discussing
why a deadline was missed or a project failed,
and who to blame for it.
SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager who flies in, makes a lot
of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
ASSMOSIS. The process by which people seem to absorb
success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather
than working hard.
SALMON DAY. The experience of spending an entire day
swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.
CUBE FARM. An office filled with cubicles.
PRAIRIE DOGGING. When someone yells or drops something
loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the
walls to see that's going on. (This also applies to
applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)
SITCOMs. Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.
What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of
them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a
SINBAD. Single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend
STRESS PUPPY. A person who seems to thrive on being
stressed out and whiny.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE. The fine art of whacking the
crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
ADMINISPHERE. The rarefied organizational layers beginning
just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the
"adminisphere" are often profoundly inappropriate or
irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" -
needless paperwork and processes.
404. Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web
error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested
document could not be located.
TESTICULATING. Waving your arms around and talking
OHNOSECOND. That minuscule fraction of time in which you
realize that you’ve just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit
'reply all' not 'reply'.) See also CLM
CLM - Career Limiting Move: Telling a racy joke about the
boss to someone on the phone, without first checking to see
if the boss is visiting the cubicle on the other side of
the paper wall.
BEER COAT. The invisible but warm coat worn when walking
home after a booze cruise at 3am.
BEER COMPASS. The invisible device that ensures your
safe arrival home after booze cruise, even though you're too
drunk to remember where you live, how you got here, and
where you've come from.
BOBFOC. Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crime watch.
GREYHOUND. A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
JOHNNY-NO-STARS. A young man of substandard intelligence,
the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant.
The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars that
staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their
level of training.
MILLENNIUM DOMES. The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e.
extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but
there's actually naught in there worth seeing.
MYSTERY BUS. The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday
night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and
whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is
suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
MYSTERY TAXI. The taxi that arrives at your place on
Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the
stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your
PICASSO BUM. A woman whose knickers are too small for her,
so she looks like she’s got four buttocks
SALAD DODGER. An excellent phrase for an overweight person
TART FUEL. Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Garlic Bread Recipes
By katrine2706 [85 Posts, 33 Comments]
Garlic bread is my favorite. I love the aroma and the rich
flavor of garlic. But it is not always available in most
bakeries here in my province so I make my own simple garlic
bread recipe at home.
Garlic breads are also often sprinkled with garlic powder
but in my recipe I chose to use real garlic clove as it adds
more aroma and flavor plus I don't have to buy the powder
which costs $1.46 while the garlic clove is only $.10. That
means it is another big savings for a thrifty mom like me.
1 Tbsp salted butter
1 tsp grated garlic
Melt butter in a saucer. Stir in the grated garlic clove
Brush the mixture all over the sliced bread. You can use
unsalted butter if you wish but salted butter works well for
me because I don't have to garnish my bread with salt.
Bake/toast in 180 C for 10 minutes. Serve hot!
Traditional Garlic Bread uses
Italian or French bread, that you slice yourself, thick.
Because gluten and me don't get along anymore, I had to step
back from those nicely crusty breads. You can use "Texas
Toast" bread. It is similar, cut thick, and has a LOT less
gluten. The end result tastes almost exactly the same, but
no Gluten hassle
|If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Despite his best sales pitch, a life insurance salesman
was unable to get a couple to sign up for a policy.
"I certainly don't want to frighten you into a decision,"
he announced, standing up to leave.
"Please sleep on it tonight, and if you wake up in the
morning, let me know what you think."
Government organization is like a tree full of monkeys,
all on different limbs at different levels, some
climbing up, some fooling around, some simply
The monkeys on top look down and see a tree
full of smiling faces.
The monkeys on the bottom look up and see
nothing but "a*******." (you can fill in the blank).
| ||A couple of the 200 caves in Brazil.
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Today, on April 12
1096 Peter the Hermit gathered his army in Cologne.
1204 The Fourth Crusade sacked Constantinople.
1606 England adopted the original Union Jack as its flag.
1782 The British navy won its only naval engagement against
the colonists in the American Revolution at the Battle of
Saints, off Dominica.
1799 Phineas Pratt patented the comb cutting machine.
1811 The first colonists arrived at Cape Disappointment,
1833 Charles Gaylor patented the fireproof safe.
1861 Fort Sumter was shelled by Confederacy, starting
America's Civil War.
1864 Confederate Gen. Nathan Bedford Forrest captured Fort
Pillow, in Tennessee and slaughters the black Union troops
1877 A catcher's mask was used in a baseball game for the
first time by James Alexander Tyng.
1892 Voters in Lockport, New York, became the first in the
U.S. to use voting machines.
1911 Pierre Prier completed the first non-stop London-Paris
flight in three hours and 56 minutes.
1916 American cavalrymen and Mexican bandit troops clashed
at Parrel, Mexico.
1927 The British Cabinet came out in favor of women voting
1938 The first U.S. law requiring a medical test for a
marriage license was enacted in New York.
1944 The U.S. Twentieth Air Force was activated to begin the
strategic bombing of Japan.
1945 In New York, the organization of the first eye bank,
the Eye Bank for Sight Restoration, was announced.
1945 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt died in Warm
Spring, GA. He died of a cerebral hemorrhage at the age of
63. Harry S Truman became president.
1955 The University of Michigan Polio Vaccine Evaluation
Center announced that the polio vaccine of Dr. Jonas Salk
was "safe, effective and potent."
1961 Soviet Yuri Alexeyevich Gagarin became first man to
orbit the Earth.
1963 Police used dogs and cattle prods on peaceful civil
rights demonstrators in Birmingham, AL.
1981 The space shuttle Columbia blasted off from Cape
Canaveral, FL, on its first test flight.
1982 The British Navy began enforcing a blockade around the
1983 Harold Washington was elected the first black mayor of
1984 Astronauts aboard the space shuttle Challenger made the
first satellite repair in orbit by returning the Solar Max
satellite to space.
1984 Israeli troops stormed a bus that had been hijacked the
previous evening by four Arab terrorists. All the passengers
were rescued and 2 of the hijackers were killed.
1985 U.S. Senator Jake Garn of Utah became the first senator
to fly in space as the shuttle Discovery lifted off from
Cape Canaveral, FL.
1985 In Spain, an explosion in a restaurant near a U.S. base
killed 17 people.
1985 Federal inspectors declared that four animals of the
Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus were not
unicorns. They were goats with horns that had been
1987 Texaco filed Chapter 11 bankruptcy after it failed to
settle a legal dispute with Pennzoil Co.
1988 Harvard University won a patent for a genetically
altered mouse. It was the first patent for a life form.
1988 The Chinese government named a new array of younger
leaders to ensure economic reform.
1989 In the U.S.S.R, ration cards were issued for the first
time since World War II. The rationing was prompted by a
1993 NATO began enforcing a no-fly zone over Bosnia and
2000 More than 1,500 anti-drug agents raided four cities in
Colombia and arrested 46 members of the "most powerful"
2000 Robert Cleaves, 71, was convicted of second degree
murder and was sentenced to 16 years in prison. Cleaves had
repeatedly run over Arnold Guerreiro on September 30, 1998
with his car after the two had an argument.
2000 Israel's High Court ordered the release of eight
Lebanese detainees that had been held for years without a
2002 It was announced that the South African version of
"Sesame Street" would be introducing a character that was
2002 JCPenney Chairman Allen Questrom rang the opening bell
to start the business day at the New York Stock Exchange as
part of the company's centennial celebrations. James Cash
(J.C.) Penney opened his first retail store on April 14,
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