Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, May 4

Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
Illegal alien from Dominican Republic escaped after
sentencing for murder, then killed one deputy and 
injured another one.
Details at  Boneheads
Today, May 4 in
1493 Alexander VI divided non-Christian world 
between Spain and Portugal. 
See More of what happened on this
day in history.
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______________________________________________________ Late to bed and late to wake will keep you long on money and short on mistakes. --- Aaron McGruder ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Annie: Living in Washington State, my husband and I often take car trips to Canada to visit his family. Once when we stopped at the border, the guard asked my husband the value of any goods we would be leaving in Canada. My husband paused to think of the value of the gifts we had with us. "Never mind," the guard said, "What's the most expensive thing in your car?" Without hesitation, my husband replied, "My wife." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ One evening, impressed by a meat entree his wife had prepared, the husband asked, "What did you marinate this in?" The wife dropped her fork and went into a long explanation about how much she loved him and how life wouldn't be the same without him. She must have seen the confused look on her husbands face, because she inquired, "What did you ask me?" When he told her what he'd asked, the wife laughed and said, "I thought you asked me if I would marry you again!" Later, as she was cleaning up the kitchen, the husband called out, "Hey, hon, WOULD you marry me again?" Without hesitation she replied, "Vinegar and barbecue sauce." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Wesley Correa-Carmenaty, 22, Council Bluffs, Iowa Illegal alien from Dominican Republic escaped after sentencing for murder, then killed one deputy and injured another one. The Pottawattamie County deputy killed by an escaped convict has been identified as Mark Burbridge. Deputy Burbridge is a 12-year veteran of the Pottawattamie County Sheriff's Office. Deputy Pat Morgan, a 10 year veteran, was also shot. He is now in stable condition at an Omaha hospital. The deputies were transporting two prisoners from the courthouse and arrived at the jail when the incident occurred. Wesley Correa Carmenaty, 22, assaulted both deputies. Correa Carmenaty was able to take one of the deputies' firearms and shot both deputies. Correa Carmenaty then fled the sally port in the jail van. He crashed through west door of the jail, and left with the van. Phyllis Malm was at the jail visiting her brother and heard the gunshots. “Before the gunshots, you heard a bunch of commotion. Then you heard somebody saying 'he’s got a gun, he’s got a gun and then you heard four shots go off,'” Malm said. “Here comes this van barreling out from the other side, the exit of the garage." At the intersection of 16th and Big Lake Road, Correa Carmenaty stopped the van and attempted to carjack an S10 pickup. The driver, Jerry Brittan, 30, was shot once. His injuries are not life-threatening. Correa Carmenaty carjacked Amy Kanger, 31, near 2500 Ave. of Avenue I. Officials said he forced her back into the Nissan. Kanger was dropped off at 5825 N. 30th at RL Liquor in Omaha. A pursuit ensued involving NSP, DCSO, OPD Traffic, Marshals, Gang Unit, CBPD and Pottawattamie County deputies. The pursuit came to an end when Correa Carmenaty reportedly crashed near I-480 and Cuming Street. He was taken into custody without incident. Correa Carmenaty and two others were charged in the slaying of Anthony Walker during a botched robbery in March 2016. Correa Carmenaty was sentenced Monday after pleading guilty to voluntary manslaughter, attempted murder and two counts of robbery. County Attorney Matt Wilber said Correa Carmenaty was sentenced 45 years in prison with mandatory of 29.5 before parole eligibility. He had his sentencing at 10 a.m. Monday morning. Wilber said Correa Carmenaty wasn’t remorseful during his sentencing. He spoke through an interpreter. Wilber said during sentencing, Correa Carmenaty said that Walker died because he shouldn’t have gotten involved. Correa Carmenaty is facing additional charges of 1st degree murder, attempted murder and kidnapping. Additional charges are pending. He will get free room and board for a long time. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: John E Re: Pints Dear Webby Looki about British measurment's! I have what I believe is an antique pewter tankard, no lid. In Britian it's called a tavern pot. Hallmarked and X'ed for fine pewter. Queen Vic. mark yada yada yada. The problem arises in that it is stamped to a line stating "Imperial pint" that line actually measures an american standard pint. My Bro. outlaw laughs and states that an Imperial pint is greater than ours. What do you in your bearded wisdom think? John E From south of only one boarder. Dear John The US pint is indeed the same as the old Imperial pint and is 0.83, about 4/5th of a modern UK pint. When it comes to measurement units, Americans are loyal subjects of the (royal) British Empire, not of the (democratic) UK. That is why you use the Imperial pint and not the UK pint. Have FUN! DearWebby
>From Annie He didn't like the casserole And he didn't like my cake. My biscuits were too hard... Not like his mother used to make. I didn't perk the coffee right He didn't like the stew. I didn't mend his socks The way his mother used to do. I pondered for an answer I was looking for a clue. Then I turned around and smacked him... Like his mother used to do.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Store Extra Measuring Cups with Ingredients Because I bake things often, I have purchased several sets of extra measuring cups and spoons I have found on sale days, I put the usual measure into the container for items like flours, sugars, leavening agents, oatmeal, etc., and leave them there. Saves time and washing, and extra mess because I can keep the bowls over the container while measuring. By Joy Just like you have done with coffee, oatmeal, detergent, etc. all your life. Have FUN! DearWebby
more brawn than brains
____________________________________________________ >From Liz Those of us who worked at the front desk of a convention hotel in Williamsburg, Va., Prided ourselves on making the guests feel special. When someone arrived at reception, credit card in hand, we would sneak a peek at it and address him by name. Once during a particularly busy check-in, one of our guests presented a corporate credit card. "Welcome to Williamsburg, Mr. Bell," the desk clerk said. "Oh, please," the man replied, "call me Taco." ___________________________________________________
What a lot of imagination and work goes into these beautiful Chinese gardens.
A man walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He replied, "I got the shingles....." She interrupted him and said, "Fill out this form and supply your name, address, medical insurance number. When you're done, please take a seat." Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked him what he had. He said, "I got the shingles...." She too interrupted him and took down his height, weight, and complete medical history, then said, "Change into this gown and wait in the examining room." A half hour later a nurse came in and asked him what he had. He said, "I got the shingles..." So she gave him a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and various other tests. Since she was quite cute, he didn't object at all. Then she told him to wait for the doctor. An hour later the doctor came in and asked him what he had. He said, "I got the shingles...." The doctor gave him a full-cavity examination, and then said, "I just checked you out thoroughly, and I can't find shingles anywhere. " The man replied, "They're outside in the $20/quarter hour delivery truck. Where do you want me to dump them?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today, on May 4
1471 In England, the Yorkists defeated the Landcastrians
at the battle of Tewkesbury in the War of the Roses. 

1493 Alexander VI divided non-Christian world between
Spain and Portugal. 

1626 Dutch explorer Peter Minuit landed on Manhattan
Island. Native Americans later sold the island (20,000
acres) for $24 in cloth and buttons. 

1715 A French manufacturer debuted the first folding

1776 Rhode Island declared its freedom from England two
months before the Declaration of Independence was adopted.

1814 Napoleon Bonaparte disembarked at Portoferraio on the
island of Elba in the Mediterranean. 

1863 The Battle of Chancellorsville ended when the Union
Army retreated. 

1886 A bomb exploded on the fourth day of a workers'
strike in Chicago, IL. Eight people died in the violence
during violence that day. 

1886 Chichester Bell and Charles S. Tainter patented the
gramophone. It was the first practical phonograph. 

1904 The U.S. formally took control of the property for
construction of the Panama Canal. 

1905 Belmont Park opened in suburban Long Island. It
opened as the largest race track in the world. 

1916 Germany agreed to limit its submarine warfare after a
demand from U.S. President Wilson. 

1942 The Battle of the Coral Sea commenced as American and
Japanese carriers launched their attacks at each other. 

1942 The United States began food rationing. 

1970 The Ohio National Guardsmen opened fire on students
during an anti-Vietnam war protest at Kent State
University. Four students were killed and nine others were

1979 Margaret Thatcher became Britain's first woman prime

1981 The Federal Reserve Board raised its discount rate to

1987 Live models were used for the first time in Playtex
bra ads. 

1994 Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin and PLO leader
Yasser Arafat signed a historic accord on Palestinian
autonomy that granted self-rule in the Gaza Strip and

2000 The citizens of London elected their mayor for the
first time. 

2003 Idaho Gem was born. He was the first member of the
horse family to be cloned. 

2010 Pablo Picasso's "Nude, Green Leaves and Bust" sold
for $106.5 million. 

2012 In Las Vegas, NV, Google received the first self-
driving vehicle testing license. 

2017  smiled.

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