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Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, July 27

Have Fun!

Todays Bonehead Award:
Three arrested after striking Boone, IA, 
police chief with vehicle
Today, July 27 in
1663 The British Parliament passed a second Navigation Act,
which required all goods bound for the colonies be sent in
British ships from British ports. That did not go over well.
See More of what happened on this 
day in history.
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______________________________________________________ I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all. --- Ogden Nash (1902 - 1971) Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate; now what's going to happen to us with both a Senate and a House? --- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ So the woman calls the town psychiatrist and cries, "Doctor, you've got to come as soon as possible. My husband is in really bad shape!" The shrink rushes over. The worried wife says, "Thank God you are here, doctor. Just go down the hall. He's in the last room on the right." The shrink goes in the room and sees the woman's husband sitting on the edge of the bathtub, dangling a fishline in the toilet. He goes back to the wife and says, "Yes, this is very serious. But why didn't you call me sooner?" "Who had time?" the wife asks. "I've been cleaning fish all week." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ You can generally tell a man's age by the way he reacts to a female's smile. For example: When a teenage girl smiles at a young man, he tries to decide what makes him so sexy. When a young lady smiles at a man in his fifties, he turns around to see the handsome dude behind him. But when a female of any age smiles at a man of 80, he looks down to see if he's unzipped. ______________________________________________________ Just Me _____________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Erica Shales, 25, of Des Moines, Iowa Craig Collins, 35, of Nevada, Chanel Clark, 32, of Ames, Iowa Three arrested after striking Boone, IA, police chief with vehicle Three people were arrested Monday, after police said that they struck Boone Police Chief John Wiebold with their vehicle while attempting to flee. Erica Shales, 25, of Des Moines, was identified as the driver and charged with eluding, assault on a peace officer with a deadly weapon, possession of a controlled substance, and driving while suspended. She also had a warrant for her arrest out of Polk County Two passengers, Craig Collins, 35, of Nevada, and Chanel Clark, 32, of Ames, were also arrested. Collins was charged with possession of a controlled substance, and possession of drug paraphernalia. Clark was charged with two counts of possession of a controlled substance, and possession of drug paraphernalia. According to the Boone Police Department, officers responded to a report of an assault at the 600 block of Fifth Street around 3 p.m. When officers arrived, they saw a vehicle matching the description of one they were looking for, a silver Dodge Avenger, leaving eastbound from the area. The car traveled to the intersection of Fifth and Story streets where it was stopped because police vehicles were both in front and in back of it, police said. Police said Wiebold got out of his car in an attempt to contact the occupants of the suspect vehicle, at which point Shales accelerated, striking Wiebold before continuing north on Story Street. Wiebold suffered minor injuries and did not require medical treatment. Video shows him getting up and running to his truck. Then the chase was on! According to police, officers then engaged in chase northbound on Story Street and then eastbound on 12th Street at speeds reaching 55 mph, before the car carrying Shales, Collins, and Clark stopped in the 900 block of 12th Street. After stopping, Shales attempted to leave the area on foot but was quickly apprehended, according to police. Chief Wiebold looks like a pro football player. The report does not state who had the most bruises after he tackled Shales. The investigation is continuing. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Barb Re: Pop-Ups Dear Webby, First of all I love your "Humor Letter" and all the advice, pictures, tips, daily history and extra links in it. I need to pick your brain, is there any way to get rid of the pop-ups that pop up on certain websites like newspapers that want you to subscribe to them before you can read their stories or certain sites that want you to subscribe to them. I don't want to subscribe to every "Tom, Dick and Harry" just to read one article that I got to from another website. I know you will know how to handle them. Thanks in advance. Barb Dear Barb For many sites you can use the Google "Poper Blocker" Poper Blocker. It works quite well on the majority of sites, that use hostile pop-ups. However, some sites, like for example National Geogrqaphic, are too sleazy for that, and pop up their ransom demand anyway. You can sometimes get around the ransom demand by turning the Poper Blocker off and using CTRL F4 to close the ransom demand. Sites of large and extremely profitable sites like National Geographic can afford to hire the best programmers to defeat blockers, and newspaper sites quickly copy their tricks. Sometimes all you can do is find an alternate source for what you are looking for, or decide whether what you want to read is worth the demanded ransom. Have FUN! DearWebby
The judge looked at the docket and said, "Good God, man! You're charged with marrying six women. How could you do such a thing?" "Hey, judge, gimme a break," the man replied. "I was only trying to find one good one...."
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Lobster Mac and Cheese By attosa [366 Posts, 1,730 Comments] For special occasions, my husband and I like to order lobster mac and cheese. We've recently realized, as good as it is, it's just not worth $20 for a plate! Here's a recipe for lobster mac and cheese for under $3 a serving. Total Time: 1 hour Yield: 6 Ingredients: 16 oz pasta of choice 2 fresh lobster tails 2 Tbsp butter 1 onion, diced 2 cloves garlic, minced 10 black peppercorns 2 cups milk 4 Tbsp butter 4 Tbsp flour 2 cups Gruyere cheese, shredded 3 cups cheddar cheese, shredded 1 cup grated Parmesan 4 Tbsp breadcrumbs Steps: Fill a large pot with salted water and bring to a rolling boil. Stir in the dry pasta and return to a boil. Cook the pasta uncovered until it is firm to the bite, about 8 minutes. Reserve 2 cups of the hot pasta water, then drain the pasta in a colander set in the sink. Return the pasta water to the large pot and place the lobster tails in the pot, cut-side up. Return the water to a boil, then reduce heat to medium-low, cover, and steam the lobster just until the meat firms and turns opaque, about 3 minutes. Remove the lobster and allow to cool for a few minutes, then remove the meat and cut into bite sized pieces. Reserve the shells. Melt 2 tablespoons of butter in a saucepan over medium heat. Stir in the onion and cook until the onion has softened and turned translucent, about 5 minutes; scrape the onions into a small bowl and set aside. Place the reserved lobster shells, garlic, peppercorns, and milk into the saucepan. Bring to a gentle simmer over medium heat, and cook for 20 minutes. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Melt 4 tablespoons of butter in a saucepan over medium-low heat. Whisk in the flour and stir until the mixture becomes a light golden brown, about 10 minutes. Strain the lobster and milk mixture through a sieve. Gradually whisk the milk into the flour mixture, bring to a simmer over medium heat. Cook and stir until the mixture is thick and smooth, around 10 minutes. Stir the Gruyere and Cheddar cheeses into the thickened milk mixture until melted and smooth. Season to taste with salt and pepper, then stir in the reserved lobster, onions, and pasta. Pour the pasta into a 4 quart casserole and smooth the top. Sprinkle evenly with the breadcrumbs and Parmesan cheese. Bake in the preheated oven until the sauce is bubbly, and the top is golden brown, 8 to 12 minutes. ____________________________________________________
Woob, woob, woob
____________________________________________________ The bank manager was in the final stages of hiring a cashier and was down to two final applicants -- one of which would get the job. The first one interviewed was from a small college in upstate New York. A nice young man, but a bit timid. Then he called for the second man, "Jim Johnson!" Up stepped a burley young man who seemed quite sure of himself. "He looks like he can take care of any situation," thought the manager, and decided, there and then, to hire him. He turned to the first applicant and told him he could go and they would let him know. Turning to Johnson, he said, "Now Jim, I like the way you carry yourself -- that's an important asset for the job as cashier. However, you must be precise. I noticed you did not fill out the place on the application where we asked your formal education." Jim looked a little confused so the manager said, "Where did you get your financial education?" "Oh," replied Jim -- "Yale." "That's very good ... excellent. You're hired!" "Now that you're working for us, what do you prefer to be called?" Jim answered "I don't care... Yim... or Mr. Yonson...." ___________________________________________________
Here's the part of the airplane that no passenger ever gets to see.
___________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for her Italian Pasta Diet: ITALIAN PASTA DIET -- IT REALLY WORKS !! 1.. You walka pasta da bakery. 2.. You walka pasta da candy store. 3.. You walka pasta da Ice Cream shop. 4... You walka pasta da table and fridge. You will losa da weight!
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________ 1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. CONCLUSION Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Today, on July 27, in
1214 At the Battle of Bouvines in France, Philip Augustus of
France defeated John of England. 

1245 Frederick II was deposed by a council at Lyons after they
found him guilty of sacrilege. 

1663 The British Parliament passed a second Navigation Act,
which required all goods bound for the colonies be sent in
British ships from British ports. That did not go over well.

1689 Government forces defeated the Scottish Jacobites at the
Battle of Killiecrankie. 

1694 The Bank of England received a royal charter as a
commercial institution. 

1775 Benjamin Rush began his service as the first Surgeon
General of the Continental Army. 

1784 "Courier De L’Amerique" became the first French newspaper
to be published in the United States. It was printed in
Philadelphia, PA. 

1777 The Marquis of Lafayette arrived in New England to help the
rebellious American colonists fight the British. 

1778 The British and French fleets fought to a standoff in the
first Battle of Ushant. 

1866 Cyrus Field successfully completed the Atlantic Cable. It
was an underwater telegraph from North America to Europe. 

1909 Orville Wright set a record for the longest airplane
flight. He was testing the first Army airplane and kept it in
the air for 1 hour 12 minutes and 40 seconds. 

1914 British troops invaded the streets of Dublin, Ireland, and
began to disarm Irish rebels. 

1918 The Socony 200 was launched. It was the first concrete
barge and was used to carry oil. 

1921 Canadian biochemist Frederick Banting and associates
announced the discovery of the hormone insulin. 

1940 Bugs Bunny made his official debut in the Warner Bros.
animated cartoon "A Wild Hare." 

1944 U.S. troops completed the liberation of Guam. 

1947 The World Water Ski Organization was founded in Geneva,

1953 The armistice agreement that ended the Korean War was
signed at Panmunjon, Korea. 

1955 The Allied occupation of Austria ended. With no more need
to feed the allied troops, rationing stopped and all school
kids, including me, got their first hot-dog.

1964 U.S. President Lyndon Johnson sent an additional 5,000
advisers to South Vietnam. 

1965 In the U.S., the Federal Cigarette Labeling and Advertising
Act was signed into law. The law required health warnings on all
cigarette packages. 

1967 U.S. President Johnson appointed the Kerner Commission to
assess the causes of the violence in the wake of urban rioting. 

1980 The deposed shah of Iran, Muhammad Riza Pahlavi, died in a
hospital near Cairo, Egypt. 

1993 IBM's new chairman, Louis V. Gerstner, Jr., announced an
$8.9 billion plan to cut the company's costs. 

2003 It was reported by the BBC (British Broadcasting Corp.)
that there was no monster in Loch Ness. The investigation used
600 separate sonar beams and satellite navigation technology to
trawl the loch. Reports of sightings of the "Loch Ness Monster"
began in the 6th century. 

2006 Intel Corp introduced its Core 2 Duo microprocessors.

2017  smiled.

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