Friday, August 4, 2017, 10:21 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, August 4
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
Have Fun!
Dearwebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Arkansas man caught having sex with the
neighbor's donkeys
Boneheads
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Today, Aug 2 in
1492 Christopher Columbus left Palos, Spain with three ships.
The voyage led him to what is now known as the Americas. He
reached the Bahamas on October 12.
See More of what happened on this
day in history.
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"Accept the challenges, so that you may feel the
exhilaration of victory."
--- General George S. Patton
The human race is faced with a cruel choice:
work or daytime television.
--- Socratex
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If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
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An American was golfing at the Old Course in St. Andrews,
Scotland. He slices his opening drive out of bounds onto the
beach, so he tees another one up and smacks it right down
the middle.
The golfer turns to his old Scottish caddy and tells him that in
America that is called a "Mulligan" and asks him if there is a
name for it in Scotland.
The caddy replies, "AYE, we call it a three."
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A College student was proudly showing off his new apartment
to a couple of his drinking buddies. When they made it to the
bedroom, they saw a big brass gong next to the bed.
"What's a big brass gong doing in your bedroom?" one of his
friends asked.
"It's not a gong. It's a talking clock," he replied.
"A talking clock? Seriously?" askeds his astonished friend.
"Yup," he replied.
"How's it work?" the friend asked, squinting at it.
"Watch," the drunk replied.
He picked up the mallet, gave it an ear-shattering pound,
and stepped back.
The three stood looking at one another for a moment.
Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed,
"Quiet, you moron! It's three o'clock in the morning!"
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If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

Thanks for your votes!
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Reported by the Bausell Sailor
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by
Everett Lee Compton, Jr.,
49,
Siloam Springs,
Arkansas
Arkansas man arrested after repeatedly
having sex with neighbor's donkey
A man from Arkansas is being accused of allegedly buggering his
neighbors’ donkeys. On Monday, this man landed himself behind
bars for several charges. He allegedly trespassed on his
neighbors’ property in order to sexually assault their donkeys.
Everett Lee Compton, Jr., 49, has been arrested by Siloam
Springs police. He is being charged with four counts of
bestiality, four counts of criminal trespassing and four counts
of misdemeanor cruelty to animals.
Emert and Joyce Whitaker set up a game camera because of
repeatedly finding plastic bags on their property.
The game camera showed them that a neighbor was putting the bags
on their donkeys and having sex with them.
They informed police about a man performing sexual acts on their
donkey during the mornings of May 27th and June 4th. The couple
had set up a game camera and has footage of the man and handed
them over to authorities. The photos show the man placing a bag
upon the head of one of the donkey, and later thrusting his
pelvis into the animal.
The Whitaker’s also captured this man allegedly performing
illicit sexual acts on their donkeys on July 5th and 6th. In the
photo, the suspect feeds a donkey from a bread bag while once
having sex with the creature.
At 1 A.M. on July 16th, the Whitaker’s called the police once
again. They spotted the suspect in the field and began
recording. This time, they captured footage of the suspect
allegedly sexually assaulting their donkey. They described the
incident as "some type of sexual interaction."
A responding officer arrived on the scene and all
egedly found the suspect hiding behind bushes. Compton claims
that he was merely taking a walk.
A police report obtained by Arkansas Online reports that officer
questioned Compton about the donkeys, and the suspect replied
that he had only fed the creatures carrots, but he did not have
sex with them.
Everett Lee Compton claims to not have had sexual relations with
those donkeys.
The responding officer told the suspect about the video footage
taken from Whitaker's camera. Compton allegedly responded by
casting the blame upon marijuana, claiming that the cannabis
“makes him do sick things.”
He has raked up multiple charges, including four counts of
bestiality, four counts of criminal trespassing and four counts
of misdemeanor cruelty to animals.
Compton remains in the Benton County Jail on $5,000 bond. His
court date is set for September 11, 2017.
_________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Dee
Re: Clickbook
Dear Webby,
Dear Webby,
Okay, just when I thought I had heard about all the programs
.... What is 'ClickBook' ???
Dee
Dear Dee
ClickBook is a printer driver.
You install that driver and all of a sudden you have an
extra printer. When you print, you can choose it instead
of your regular printer or fax.
It just adds a whole lot more capabilities to your printer.
When you click it, up pops a selector menu to choose
a layout. Let's say you click on "Folded Half Size,
4 pages per sheet".
(There are about 170 different layouts to choose from.)
It prints the first side of all pages, and on top is a
helper sheet that shows you how to put the stack
back in for the back side. On my printer I simply
take the stack, and without turning or flipping put
it into the blank paper tray.
Then you hit "Print Second Side" and it does that.
Afterward you take the stack, fold it in half, bang
some staples through the fold and your book is ready.
Paperback book size, printed front and back, and all the
pages in the right sequence. On a sheet you might have
page 7 beside page 256, but when the stack is folded,
the math has been done for you and all pages are
sequenced properly.
There are layouts for anything from CD sleeves to
day-planner refills, store flyers, convention table "tents",
restaurant menus, flip-down accounting ledgers, etc.
Personally, I would be lost without it. Once upon a time,
when I was young and beautiful, I used to be able to do
that sort of thing by simply wasting an hour or two with a word
processor, but I have turned into a spoiled, lazy old fart
and forgot how to do it the hard way.
Clickbook is not free. It's still only $50, but well
worth it. You make that back the first time you print the
programs and table tents for a wedding or club event.
For printing eBooks 4 pages per sheet, nice and compact so that
you can read it on today's narrow airplane seats, Clickbook is
indispensable.
instead of the long URL, the shortcut straight to it is
http://webby.com/clickbook
http://webby.com/clickbook
Have FUN!
DearWebby
>From RPC:
Our local news anchor (picture a cute, bubbly cheerleader
type) was commenting on the newest things allowed on
airplanes. Among them were small scissors and screwdrivers.
After the story was over, she looked at her co-anchor and
said:
"I don't know about you, but I've NEVER had a sudden urge
to clip or screw ANYTHING on board an aircraft!"
Her male co-anchor just looked at her and burst out laughing.
LOL, needless to say they cut to commercial immediately!
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Delicious Herb Dip
By 15mhhm15 [209 Posts, 608 Comments]
Total Time: 4 minutes
Ingredients:
basil
chives
parsley
1 clove garlic
1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil
1/4 tsp salt
1/8 tsp pepper
2 Tbsp lemon juice
Steps:
I used a combination of herbs: basil, chives and parsley (no
specific quantity just a handful of each and filled the 2 cup
measuring cup).
Dice garlic. Add garlic and herbs into food processor with salt
and pepper. Pulse.
Add olive oil and lemon juice. Blend until you get a nice dip
consistency. Add more oil if needed.
Don't forget the BBQ!
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 |
Nature by numbers |
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>From Chris in OZ
At first sight we knew it was the perfect Christmas tree.
Tall and full, with no bare spots. Even our grown children
were impressed.
"Wow," said my son, "if you didn't know it was real, it
could easily pass as artificial."
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| What spray painting multiple layers of acrylic glass looks like. |
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Two older women, Coleen and Melinda, who were rivals in a
social circle met at a Christmas party at their country club.
"My dear," said Melinda, "Are those real pearls?"
"They are," replied Coleen.
"Of course the only way I could tell would be for me to
bite them," smiled Melinda.
Coleen responded, "Yes, but for that you would need to
borrow some better dentures."
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes
and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you
subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
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>From Bonnie:
When our dryer broke, my husband set to work. He found the
problem quickly and, since he needed to replace the belt,
decided to repair a cracked knob and a broken hinge too.
Upon arrival at the Sears parts counter, he said he needed
a belt, knob, hinge, and a crescent-shaped wire he'd found
inside the dryer. He didn't know where it belonged, but he
confidently assured the clerk that he could figure it out
once he got into the job.
"I have the other parts," the clerk said, "but for the wire
you have to go to Lingerie. This is an underwire from your
wife's bra."
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Today in
1735 Freedom of the press was established with an acquittal of
John Peter Zenger. The writer of the New York Weekly Journal had
been charged with seditious libel by the royal governor of New
York. The jury said that "the truth is not libelous."
1753 George Washington became a Master Mason.
1790 The Revenue Cutter Service was formed. This U.S. naval task
force was the beginning of the U.S. Coast Guard.
1914 Britain declared war on Germany. The U.S. proclaimed its
neutrality.
1922 The death of Alexander Graham Bell, two days earlier, was
recognized by AT&T and the Bell Systems by shutting down all of
its switchboards and switching stations. The shutdown affected
13 million phones.
1944 Nazi police raided a house in Amsterdam and arrested eight
people. Anne Frank, a teenager at the time, was one of the
people arrested. Her diary would be published after her death.
1954 The uranium rush began in Saskatchewan, Canada.
1956 William Herz became the first person to race a motorcycle
over 200 miles per hour. He was clocked at 210 mph.
1957 Florence Chadwick set a world record by swimming the
English Channel in 6 hours and 7 minutes.
1957 Juan Fangio won his final auto race and captured the world
auto driving championship. It was his the fifth consecutive year
to win.
1958 The first potato flake plant was completed in Grand Forks,
ND.
1958 Billboard Magazine introduced its "Hot 100" chart, which
was part popularity and a barometer of the movement of potential
hits. The first number one song was Ricky Nelson's "Poor Little
Fool."
1972 Arthur Bremer was found guilty of shooting George Wallace,
the governor of Alabama. Bremer was sentenced to 63 years in
prison.
1983 New York Yankee outfielder Dave Winfield threw a baseball
during warm-ups and accidentally killed a seagull. After the
game, Toronto police arrested him for "causing unnecessary
suffering to an animal."
1984 Upper Volta, an African republic, changed its name to
Burkina Faso.
1990 The European Community imposed an embargo on oil from Iraq
and Kuwait. This was done to protest the Iraqi invasion of the
oil-rich Kuwait.
1991 The Oceanos, a Greek luxury liner, sank off of South
Africa's southeast coast. All of the 402 passengers and 179
crewmembers survived.
1994 Yugoslavia withdrew its support for Bosnian Serbs. The
border between Yugoslavia and Serb-held Bosnia was sealed.
1997 Teamsters began a 15-day strike against UPS (United Parcel
Service). The strikers eventually won an increase in full-time
positions and defeated a proposed reorganization of the
company's pension plan.
2007 NASA's Phoenix spacecraft was launched on a space
exploration mission of Mars. The Phoenix lander descended on
Mars on May 25, 2008.
2009 North Korean leader Kim Jong-il pardoned two American
journalists, who had been arrested and imprisoned for illegal
entry earlier in the year.
2017 smiled.
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