Better sound for laptop 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, November 3
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Have Fun!

Todays Bonehead Award:
NY Woman left 6-year-old in taxi 
while she robbed bank
Today, November 3 in
1507 Leonardo DaVinci was commissioned by the husband of
Lisa Gherardini to paint her. The work is known as the Mona
See More of what happened on this
day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one. --- Malcolm Forbes (1919 - 1990) To err is human; to forgive, infrequent. --- Franklin P. Adams (1881 - 1960) There is only one thing a philosopher can be relied upon to do, and that is to contradict other philosophers. --- William James ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The attractive young miss was about to go to bed with her blind date when she burst into tears. "I'm afraid you'll get the wrong idea about me," she said between sobs. "I'm really not that kind of girl!" "I believe you," her date said, as he tried to comfort her. "You're the first one," she gulped. "The first one to make love to you?" he asked. "No, silly," she replied. "The first one to believe me!" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Here is an old favorite, brought back by Lillemor: There are two nuns. One of them is known as Sister Mathematical (SM) and the other one is known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent. SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants. SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us. SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most. What can we possibly do? SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster. SM: It's not working. SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster too. SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute. SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both. The man decided to follow Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried what has happened to Sister Logical. Then Sister Logical arrives. SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened! SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me. SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then? SL:The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could. SM: And? SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me. SM: Oh, dear! What did you do? SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up. SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do? SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants. SM: Oh, no! What happened then? SL: Isn't it logical,Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down. (And those of you who thought it would be dirty, say two Hail Mary's.) ______________________________________________________ Sedona, AZ _____________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Diana Marini, 29, Islip, NY Woman left 6-year-old in taxi while she robbed bank /font> Police say a woman robbed a bank on Long Island while her 6- year-old daughter waited in a taxi. Suffolk County police say 28-year-old Diana Marini entered a Chase bank in Islandia at 1 p.m. Saturday and gave the teller a note demanding cash. They say the teller handed over an undetermined amount of money and Marini fled in a taxi that was waiting for her. Police stopped the taxi and found Marini and her 6-year-old inside. Marini was arrested on charges of robbery and endangering the welfare of a child. Her babysitting chores will be taken care of for a few years. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Karen Re: Better sound for laptop Dear Webby, How can I increase the sound quality for my laptop? I got some fairly expensive aftermarket speakers for it, but the sound is still quite trashy compared to my home stereo. Help! Karen Dear Karen Those "fairly expensive aftermarket speakers" are not worth the shipping cost. As you noticed. Get a stereo cable, exactly like the one leading from the computer to the first of those squeakers, and connect that to the AUX-IN on your home stereo, or any old boom box. Switch the stereo or boom box to AUX, and you have sound the way it was meant to be. As a free bonus you have the headphone jack on the stereo for plugging in the earphone half of a communication head set. The pink microphone plug still goes to the pink computer microphone jack. Have FUN! DearWebby

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Thanks to the Kidd family for this story: A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?" Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven." Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart." Little Davie, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!" The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. Finally, he gathered his wits and asked Little Davie how he knew this. Little Davie said, "Well... every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, "Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!" ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Recipe: Ramen Noodle Omelete By Alyssa M. [1 Post] Super easy and cheap, this meal is great for anyone trying to eat on a budget, and sometimes just when the craving hits! I grew up eating these as my parents made them a lot when they were newly married and it just stuck. Probably one of the first meals I learned to make on my own! Total Time: 10-15 min Yield: 1 omelete Ingredients: 1 package ramen noodles (I have only used chicken flavor) ($0.15) 1 egg ($0.10) 1/2 cup cheese (I use cheddar jack but any should work fine) ($0.50) Steps: Cook the pasta only, either on the stove or in the microwave until soft. Then drain In a bowl, whip the egg and noodles together with a fork and then add in the spice packet. I only use half because its a bit too much favor without the water to tone it down. Heat a skillet that has been sprayed with nonstick or tiny bit of oil as this usually sticks a lot, to medium heat. Pour pasta and egg mixture on and flatten with spatula. Cook for a min or so on the one side and then flip over Have cheese ready to sprinkle on top as soon as you flip it over. Turn the heat down a little so the cheese has a chance to melt. Remove from skillet and enjoy! Tip provided by Same as KD flavor packets, those flavor packets are best reserved for poisoning pigeons in the park. A Tablespoon full from a 79 cent can of condensed vegetable soup will give your Ramen noodles just the right amount of flavor, and some token veggies on top. There is no need to use that pigeon poison on YOUR food! Have FUN! DearWebby ____________________________________________________ Dear Webby I'm a chaplain at the County senior citizens' home. The other day I saw a 96-year-old lady knitting a sweater for her granddaughter. "What kind of material are you using?" I asked. "She said, "Virgin wool." "Where do you get that," I asked. "Ugly sheep," she smiled. Jerry __________________________________________________
Women warriors who served wine on the battlefields and fought alongside the men.
Two little old ladies are sitting on a bench in Miami Beach. A man walks over and sits down on the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the woman next to him asks, "Are you a stranger here?" He replies, "I used to live here years ago." "So, where were you all these years?" "In prison," he says. "For what did they put you in prison?" He looks at her, and very quietly says, "I killed my wife." "Oh," says the woman, and turning to the other woman proclaims: "Yay!! He's single !" ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
I had been teaching my seventh-graders about World War II, and a test question was, "What was the largest amphibious assault of all time?" Expecting to see "the D-Day invasion" as the answer, I found instead on one paper, "Moses and the plague of frogs." ____________________________________________________

Today, November 3, in 
1507 Leonardo DaVinci was commissioned by the husband of
Lisa Gherardini to paint her. The work is known as the Mona

1631 The Reverend John Eliot arrived in the Massachusetts
Bay Colony. He was the first Protestant minister to dedicate
himself to the conversion of Native Americans to

1839 The first Opium War between China and Britain erupted. 

1892 The first automatic telephone went into service at
LaPorte, IN. The device was invented by Almon Strowger. 

1900 The first automobile show in the United States opened
at New York's Madison Square Garden. 

1903 Panama proclaimed its independence from Colombia. 

1911 Chevrolet Motor Car Company was founded by Louis
Chevrolet and William C. Durant. 

1934 The first race track in California opened under a new
pari-mutuel betting law. 

1941 U.S. Ambassador to Japan John Grew warned that the
Japanese may be planning a sudden attack on the U.S. 

1952 Frozen bread was offered for sale for the first time in
a supermarket in Chester, NY. 

1953 The Rules Committee of organized baseball restored the
sacrifice fly. The rule had not been used since 1939. 

1957 Sputnik II was launched by the Soviet Union. It was the
second manmade satellite to be put into orbit and was the
first to put an animal into space, a dog named Laika. 

1973 The U.S. launched the Mariner 10 spacecraft. On March
29, 1974 it became the first spacecraft to reach the planet

1979 Five members of the Communist Workers' Party are shot
to death in broad daylight at an anti-Ku Klux Klan rally in
Greensboro, NC. Eight others were wounded. 

1986 The Ash-Shiraa, pro-Syrian Lebanese magazine, first
broke the story of U.S. arms sales to Iran to secure the
release of seven American hostages. The story turned into
the Iran-Contra affair. 

1987 China told the U.S. that it would halt the sale of arms
to Iran. 

1991 Israeli and Palestinian representatives held their
first-ever face-to-face talks in Madrid, Spain. 

1992 Carol Moseley-Braun became the first African-American
woman U.S. senator. 

1994 Susan Smith of Union, SC, was arrested for drowning her
two sons. Nine days earlier Smith had claimed that the
children had been abducted by a black carjacker. 

1995 U.S. President Clinton dedicated a memorial at
Arlington National Cemetery to the 270 victims of the
bombing of Pan Am Flight 103. 

1998 A state-run newspaper in Iraq urged the country to
prepare to battle "the U.S. monster." 

1998 Minnesota elected Jesse "The Body" Ventura, a former
pro wrestler, as its governor. 

2002 At Kai Tak Airport in Hong Kong, 777 people assembled a
58,435 square foot jigsaw puzzle with 21,600 pieces. 

2003 In Kabul, Afghanistan, a post-Taliban draft
constitution was unveiled. 

2005 Walt Disney Pictures released "Chicken Little." It was
the first Disney film completely created with computer

2014 In New York City, One World Trade Center opened for

2017  smiled.

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