Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, February 22

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Florida man charged with murder after 
accidentally texting detective


Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, February 22 in
1630 Quadequine introduced popcorn to English colonists 
at their first Thanksgiving dinner. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.

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If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!



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What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say.
--- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)  

We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we
do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do
possess.
--- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
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If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

An old guy went to his doctor and said,
"Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several times lately,
I have forgotten to zip up."

"That's not senility," replied the doctor.
"Senility is when you forget to zip down."
______________________________________________________

A priest, a pastor, and a rabbi are walking down the street on
a hot day and are quite thirsty. They pass a busy bar and want
to go in and get a drink but have no money. But the priest comes
up with an idea that he thinks might work, so he goes in alone,
telling to others that if his idea works they can all get free
drinks. He orders his drink, and when he's finished with it, the
bartender gives him his tab.

The priest says, "But son,... I already paid for the drink!"

The bartender says, "I'm terribly sorry father but it's really
busy in here and I must have forgotten."

The priest goes out and tells the pastor and the rabbi what happened,
so the pastor goes in next.  The pastor orders his drink and then
informs the bartender that he already had paid when the bartender
asks him for the money.  Again the bartender apologizes.

Finally the rabbi goes in and orders his drink.  Again the bartender
gives him the tab and the rabbi tells him, "Son, I paid you when I
ordered the drink."

"I'm terribly sorry rabbi," says the bartender, "I don't know what's
wrong with me, but your the third man of the cloth that I've done this
to."

"I'm sorry son," says the rabbi, "but I'm in a terrible hurry,...
Just give me my change for the $20 I gave you, and I'll be on my
way...!"
_____________________________________________________


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Schlegel's Asity, Madagascar.
_____________________________________________________


If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________

Thanks to Cookie for this story:
Two neighbors appeared in court, each woman accusing the
other of causing trouble in their building.

"Let's get to the evidence," the judge said in an effort to
end their bickering.
"I'll hear the oldest woman first."

The case was dismissed for lack of testimony.
_____________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

David W. Romig, 52
Dunnellon,
Florida

Florida man charged with murder after 
accidentally texting detective

A Florida man is charged with murder after telling authorities he
meant to text his wife about the death of his live-in girlfriend, but
nervously messaged a detective instead.

Marion County Sheriff’s officials arrested 52-year-old David W. Romig
on Tuesday.

Investigators said he staged the crime scene to make it look like an
intruder entered the Dunnellon home on Jan. 30 and killed 64-year-old
Sally Kaufmann-Ruff.

The Ocala Star-Banner reports detectives found evidence that didn’t
match Romig’s story about the home invasion. Then, he sent two text
messages saying he thought he was going to be arrested. Romig is being
held without bond. 

_________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Fran
Re: Computer keeps shutting down

Dear Webby,
I "inherited" this super high preformance computer from my
son. It keept shutting down on him right in the middle of
games and he got disgusted with it. I tried it, just here
on the table before putting it under my desk, and it seems
to work OK for me. Is there anything I should do before
I switch it out with my old clunker?
Thanks
Fran

Dear Fran
Open up the side panel and vacuum it out. If you see any
heat sinks, clean them with q-tips and windex. If you can
remove the shroud over the CPU fan, clean under that too.
After putting it back together, don't put that machine into
a desk hutch or confined space.

Insted of putting it right on the floor, set it on a couple
of bricks or wooden blocks.

Give it lots of air. It will probably be fine for many years,
as long as you clean it out once a year and give it plenty
of air.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



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Peter called his doctor’s office for an appointment.

“I’m sorry,” said the receptionist, “we can’t
fit you in for at least two weeks.”

“But I could be dead by then!”

“No problem. If your wife lets us know, we’ll cancel the
appointment and you won't be charged.”



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




The personnel manager was impressing the applicant
with the prospective job.

"We make parts for microscopes.  You'll be required
to work with lenses that are a thousandths of an
inch thick."

"I can handle it," the applicant said, "I used to
slice meat in a delicatessen. I can slice ham so thin, that it is
kosher."
____________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Today's Entrées and Tomorrow's Sandwiches
Incorporate sandwiches into your weekly menu and one
night's entrée can become tomorrow night's sandwiches.
For example, have meat loaf one night and meat loaf
sandwiches the next night. Some other ideas:
Spaghetti and Meatballs and then meatball sandwiches.
Turkey and then leftover hot turkey sandwiches with gravy.
Roast beef and then french dip.

Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com

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Mary's fourth grade homework assignment was to make
sentences using the words in her spelling list, along with the
definition.  Coming across the word "frugal" in the list, she
asked her father what it meant.  He explained that being frugal
meant you saved something.

Her paper read: "Frugal: to save."

Sentence:  "Maid Marion fell into a pit when she went walking
in the woods so she yelled for someone to come get her out.
She yelled 'Frugal me, Frugal me!'"




One day, a sweet little girl becomes puzzled about her
origin. "How did I get here, Mommy?" she asks.

Her mother replies, using a well-worn phrase, "Why, God
sent you, honey."

"And did God send you too, Mommy?" she continues.

"Yes, sweetheart, he did."

"And Daddy, and Grandma and Grandpa, and their moms and
dads, too?"

"Yes, honey, all of them, too."

The child shakes her head in disbelief. "Then you're
telling me there's been no sex in this family for over
200 years? No wonder everyone is so grouchy!"
___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

____________________________________________________



Today, February 22, in
1630 Quadequine introduced popcorn to English colonists at their first
Thanksgiving dinner. 

1784 "Empress of China", a U.S. merchant ship, left New York City for
the Far East. 

1819 Spain ceded Florida to the United States. 

1855 The U.S. Congress voted to appropriate $200,000 for continuance
of the work on the Washington Monument. The next morning the
resolution was tabled and it would be 21 years before the Congress
would vote on funds again. Work was continued by the Know-Nothing
Party in charge of the project. 

1865 In the U.S., Tennessee adopted a new constitution that abolished
slavery. 

1879 In Utica, NY, Frank W. Woolworth opened his first 5 and 10-cent
store. 

1885 The Washington Monument was officially dedicated in Washington,
DC. It opened to the public in 1889. 

1920 The first dog race track to use an imitation rabbit opened in
Emeryville, CA. 

1923 The first successful chinchilla farm opened in Los Angeles, CA.
It was the first farm of its kind in the U.S. 

1973 The U.S. and Communist China agreed to establish liaison offices.

1984 The U.S. Census Bureau statistics showed that the state of Alaska
was the fastest growing state of the decade with an increase in
population of 19.2 percent. 

1994 The U.S. Justice Department charged Aldrich Ames and his wife
with selling national secrets to the Soviet Union. Ames was later
convicted to life in prison. Ames' wife received a 5-year prison term.

1997 Scottish scientist Ian Wilmut and colleagues announced that an
adult sheep had been successfully cloned. Dolly was actually born on
July 5, 1996. Dolly was the first mammal to have been successfully
cloned from an adult cell. 

2002 In the Philippines, An MH-47E Chinook helicopter crashed into the
ocean. All 10 men aboard were killed. 

2010 A copy of "Action Comics #1" sold at auction for $1 million. The
comic featured the introduction of Superman. 

2010 Walmart announced it was acquiring the video streaming company
Vudu, Inc. 

2018  smiled.

 
 

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