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Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, March 12

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Utah woman on trial for trying to hire 
hit man charged with same crime again
Bonehead
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Today, March 12 in
1755 In North Arlington, NJ, the steam engine 
was used for the first time in America. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
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If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ The average man, who does not know what to do with his life, wants another one which will last forever. --- Anatole France (1844 - 1924) _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Betty-Sue is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?" She says, "Why, officer?" "Because your breast is hanging out." She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus again!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dianne for this story: I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that. "Why?" my daughter asked. "Because it's been laying outside, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty and probably has germs" I replied. At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Wow! How do you know all this stuff?" "Uh", ... I was thinking quickly, "All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy." We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information. "OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you have to be the daddy." "Exactly" I replied back with a big smile on my face and joy in my heart. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Deer always have the right of way, and they are about as soft as concrete blocks. _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________ Q. What's the most common cause of hearing loss amongst men? A. Wife saying she wants to talk to him. _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Linda Tracy Gillman, 70, in jail Salt Lake City, Utah Utah woman on trial for trying to hire hit man charged with same crime again A Herriman woman now convicted of trying to arrange to have her ex- husband murdered who was previously charged with seeking a second hit man while in jail was charged yet again Friday with trying to hire a third hit man. The stunning charges against Linda Tracy Gillman, 70, were filed on the same day a jury began deliberating her initial case. She was found guilty Friday afternoon of one count of criminal solicitation, a first-degree felony, but was acquitted of a second count. Early last year, Gillman was charged with two counts of criminal solicitation, a first-degree felony, for allegedly asking one of her employees a man who also rents a condominium from her "if he could arrange to have her ex-husband, Mr. D. Gillman, killed," charging documents state. She allegedly gave the man $5,000 and promised him $100,000 more once her ex-husband and his current wife were dead and she collected her ex-husband's life insurance. Gillman was married to Duane H. Gillman, a veteran bankruptcy attorney in Salt Lake City. The plan was for the acquaintance to hire a third person to carry out the murder and make it look like Duane Gillman died from a drug overdose, according to the charges. Instead, the man went to police and Gillman was arrested. Then in June, Gillman was charged with attempted obstruction of justice, a third-degree felony. Police say while she was in the Salt Lake County Jail, she approached another inmate who she thought was affiliated with a white supremacist gang. "Gillman referred to herself as 'the bank,' and said that she 'could make everything happen'" if he would take care of the man who went to the police, charging documents say. Gillman said that if "somehow (the man) ended up dead or disappearing, then I would walk out of here a free woman," investigators wrote in the charges. She also allegedly said that if the man disappeared, "it would make all her dreams come true." That case was eventually dismissed due to problems with witnesses. This week, Gillman went on trial for her criminal solicitation charges. Prosecutors recounted the allegations against Gillman on Friday morning, saying the evidence in the case, including audio recordings, clearly laid out the woman's plot. But Gillman's attorney, Colleen Coebergh, argued Gillman was the one who had been solicited by the so-called hitman, who was actually after the elderly woman's money. Jurors began deliberating the case later in the day. But in an unbelievable turn of events, the Salt Lake County District Attorney's Office announced Friday that Gillman had tried to hire a hit man once again from the jail as recently as three weeks ago. She wanted to have the prosecution's key witness in her original case murdered, as well as an attorney, according to court documents. She was charged Friday with two more counts of criminal solicitation, a first-degree felony, and two counts of obstructing justice, a second-degree felony. The new charges say Gillman asked an attorney on Feb. 13 to bring her a check while visiting her at the jail. Gillman then filled out the check and placed it in an envelope addressed to "M.K.," according to police. Jail corrections officers intercepted the letter, noting that it was against policy for mail to be delivered directly to an inmate. They opened the letter and noticed the check was made out for $155,000, the new charges state. The next day, investigators interviewed another inmate a woman Gillman had befriended while behind bars. Gillman told the woman she would post her bail if she agreed to break into a storage unit and destroy two CDs that contained recordings of Gillman and others involved in her case, according to the charges. Gillman also wanted the woman to find the prosecution's key witness in her case the former employee whom she was accused of originally asking to have her husband killed and "give him a 'confess' letter that was authored by Gillman," the charges state. If he refused to sign it, the woman (inmate) was told to contact a specific person (who is not named in the court documents) and take the former employee "out," the charges state. In addition, Gillman wanted the woman to ask the same unnamed person "if he would be willing to kill" an attorney who won a civil case against her, according to Gill. "She had lined up an individual who would take the witness out. And in addition, asked to have an attorney killed in an opposing civil action against her that she had lost," the district attorney said. The inmate provided police with several documents in Gillman's handwriting aimed to "provide incentive" for the alleged hit man to carry out the plan, the charges state, "and emphasizing that her case needed to be 'shot down.'" The check was made out to a family member of the female inmate, according to the charges. Bail for Gillman's new charges is set at $2.5 million. On Friday, Gill praised the investigator who uncovered the new plot and noted that all the allegations are being taken seriously. Sentencing for Gillman is set for April 23. She faces a potential sentence of five years to life in prison, more if she tries hiring additional contract killers in the meantime. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Beverly Re: Email Stationery Dear Webby, My question today is about email. I read in your Tech Support column where you said that Incredimail is spyware because it tracks everybodys addresses. Got me to thinking about all email. Is there a systemn that does NOT do this? I think I have heard you mention Eudora, but I don't know anything about it. I have been using Incredimail because I like the stationery. Is there something you can reccommend that is not considered spyware and yet allows the use of different kinds of stationery? Keep up the good work on the Humor Letter! It makes my day! Thanks! Beverly Dear Beverly I nhave used Eudora since 1993. It always has had stationery, long before the Incredimail nuisance was released. Nowadays jsut about any email program has stationery, however, stationery has pretty well gone out of fashion. Most people just want the message or question. Even Gmail can use stationery! You can use pretty and cute stationery, or even forms to be filled out. Gmail itself does not have built in stationery, but you can set your Gmail to forward to your home address, where you use Thunderbird. Here are the details: Stationery in Gmail Have FUN! DearWebby
A DC-10 had an exceedingly long rollout after landing with his approach speed a little high. San Jose Tower: "American 751 heavy, turn right at the end of the runway, if able. If not able, take the Guadalupe exit off Highway 101 and make a right at the light to return to the airport."
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A six-year-old ran up and down the supermarket aisles shouting frantically, 'Marian, Marian!' Finally reunited with his mother, he was chided by her, 'You shouldn't call me 'Marian.' I'm your mother, you know.' 'I know,' said the child, 'but the store is full of mothers.'
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Morris, a professional photographer was invited to dinner at the Goldblums. He took along a few pictures to show the hostess. Millie Goldblum looked at his photos and commented, "These are very good! You must have a very good camera." He didn't make any comment, however, as he was leaving to go home he said, "That was a really delicious meal, Millie!" "Thank you!" she replied enthusiastically. Then Morris added, "Your cook must have a very good stove!" ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Leftover Turkey Casserole When packing up the leftovers from the birthday party, make a couple of "Turkey Casseroles". Spray the casseroles, put cooked Turkey in the bottom and top with Gravy. Next add a layer of carrots or other leftover veggies (Brussel Sprouts are not a good idea). Then a layer of dressing, and top it off with a layer of Mashed Potatoes. Push down slightly and cover with plastic wrap. I put the lid on the casserole and wrap it again to avoid having to look for it when you warm it up. Pop it in the freezer. To reheat: Thaw in the fridge all day and heat for about 1 hour at 325 degrees F. Just make sure it is HOT in the center before serving. It's like a Mini-Turkey Dinner! By Faye Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ A little boy came home from Sunday School with a big candy bar. His mother asked him where he got it. "I bought it at the store with the dollar you gave me," he said. "That dollar was for Sunday School," she scolded him. "I know, Mom, he replied, "but the Pastor met me at the door and got me in for free!"
I love these elegant woodcarvings. There have been and still are some amazingly talented people in this old world.
___________________________________________________ Thanks to Lisa for this story: I was scheduled to fly from North Carolina to Germany, where my husband was stationed in the military. As I checked in at the airport, the ticket agent asked me some standard security questions. "Has anyone given you any packages that you didn't pack yourself?" he asked. I told him that my mother-in-law had given me a parcel to take to her son. He looked at me very carefully and asked: "Does she like you?" ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
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Today, March 12 in
1496 Jews were expelled from Syria. 

1609 The Bermuda Islands became an English colony. 

1664 New Jersey became a British colony. King Charles II granted land
in the New World to his brother James (The Duke of York). 

1755 In North Arlington, NJ, the steam engine was used for the first
time. 

1789 The U.S. Post Office was established. 

1809 Britain signed a treaty with Persia forcing the French to leave
the country. 

1884 The State of Mississippi authorized the first state-supported
college for women. It was called the Mississippi Industrial Institute
and College. 

1889 Almon B. Stowger applied for a patent for his automatic telephone
system. 

1894 Coca-Cola was sold in bottles for the first time. 

1903 The Czar of Russia issued a decree providing for nominal freedom
of religion throughout his territory. 

1905 In Rome, Premier Giovanni Giolliwas forced out of office by
continued civil strife. 

1906 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that corporations must yield
incriminating evidence in anti-trust suits. 

1909 The British Parliament increased naval appropriations for
Britain. 

1909 Three U.S. warships were ordered to Nicaragua to stem the
conflict with El Salvador. 

1911 Dr. Fletcher of Rockefeller Institute discovered the cause of
infantile paralysis. 

1912 The Girl Scout organization was founded. The original name was
Girl Guides. 

1923 Dr. Lee DeForest demonstrated phonofilm. It was his technique for
putting sound on motion picture film. 

1930 Ghandi began his 200-mile march to the sea that symbolized his
defiance of British rule over India. 

1933 President Paul von Hindenburg dropped the flag of the German
Republic and ordered that the swastika and empire banner be flown side
by side. 

1935 Parimutuel betting became legal in the State of Nebraska. 

1938 The "Anschluss" took place as German troops entered Austria. 

1940 Finland surrendered to Russia ending the Russo-Finnish War. 

1944 Britain barred all travel to Ireland. 

1947 U.S. President Truman established the "Truman Doctrine" to help
Greece and Turkey resist Communism. 

1959 The U.S. House joined the U.S. Senate in approving the statehood
of Hawaii. 

1966 Bobby Hull, of the Chicago Blackhawks, became the first National
Hockey League (NHL) player to score 51 points in a single season. 

1985 The U.S. and the U.S.S.R. began arms control talks in Geneva. 

1985 Larry Bird (Boston Celtics) scored a club-record 60 points
against the Atlanta Hawks. 

1985 Former U.S. President Richard M. Nixon announced that he planned
to drop Secret Service protection and hire his own bodyguards in an
effort to lower the deficit by $3 million. 

1987 "Les Miserables" opened on Broadway. 

1989 Prime Minister Sadiq al Mahdi of Sudan formed a new cabinet to
end civil war. 

1989 About 2,500 veterans and supporters marched at the Art Institute
of Chicago to demand that officials remove an American flag placed on
the floor as part of an exhibit. 

1992 Mauritius became a republic but remained a member of the British
Commonwealth. 

1993 In the U.S., the Pentagon called for the closure of 31 major
military bases. 

1993 Janet Reno was sworn in as the first female U.S. attorney
general. 

1994 A photo by Marmaduke Wetherell of the Loch Ness monster was
confirmed to be a hoax. The photo was taken of a toy submarine with a
head and neck attached. 

1994 The Church of England ordained its first women priests. 

1998 Astronomers cancelled a warning that a mile-wide asteroid might
collide with Earth saying that calculations had been off by 600,000
miles. 

1999 Hungary, Poland and the Czech Republic became members of the
North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO). All three countries were
members of the former Warsaw Pact. 

2002 U.S. homeland security chief Tom Ridge unveiled a color-coded
system for terror warnings. 

2002 Conoco and Phillips Petroleum stockholders approved a proposed
merger worth $15.6 billion. 

2003 In Utah, Elizabeth Smart was reunited with her family nine months
after she was abducted from her home. She had been taken on June 5,
2002, by a drifter, who that had previously worked at the Smart home. 

2003 The U.S. Air Force announced that it would resume reconnaissance
flights off the coast of North Korea. The flights had stopped on March
2 after an encounter with four armed North Korean jets. 

2009 It was announced that the Sears Tower in Chicago, IL, would be
renamed Willis Tower, because Arabs consider Sears to be Jewish owned,
and hinted, it would be next to come down. 

2018  smiled.


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