Clock Screensavers 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, March 26

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Children left alone in bad conditions 
while mom vacationed in Florida
Bonehead
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Today, March 26 in
1804 The U.S. Congress ordered the removal of Indians east 
of the Mississippi to Louisiana. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
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If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Never confuse movement with action. --- Ernest Hemingway (1899 - 1961) I have often been afraid, but I would not give in to it. I made myself act as though I was not afraid and gradually my fear disappeared." --- Theodore Roosevelt For me, fear does not really disappear, I am used to it. The absence of fear scares me! That means there is something, that I am not aware of. --- DearWebby _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Rubye for this story: Even Mother Superior knew good milk when she drank it. The 98-year-old Mother Superior from Ireland was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink but she refused. Then one of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened and poured a generous amount into the warm milk. Back at Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass to her lips. Mother Superior drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop. "Mother," the nuns asked with humility, "please give us some wisdom before you die." She raised herself up in bed and with a pious look on her face said, "Don't sell that cow." ______________________________________________________ One Sunday morning, a mother went in to wake her son and tell him it was time to get ready for church, to which he replied, "I'm not going." "Why not?" she asked. I'll give you two good reasons," he said. "One, they don't like me, and two, I don't like them." His mother replied, "I'll give YOU two good reasons why YOU SHOULD go to church. (1) You're 57 years old, and (2) you're the pastor!" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________ THE IMPORTANCE OF USING CORRECT EMAIL ADDRESSES A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida for a long weekend to thaw out during one particularly icy winter. Because both had jobs, they had difficulty coordinating their travel schedules, it was decided that the husband would fly to Florida on a Thursday, and his wife would follow him the next day. Upon arriving as planned, the husband checked into the hotel. There he decided to open his laptop and send his wife an email back in Minneapolis. However, he accidentally left off one letter in her address, and sent the email without realizing his error. In Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who had been 'called home to glory' following a heart attack. The widow checked her email, expecting messages from relatives and friends. Upon reading the first message, she shrieked, fainted, and fell to the floor. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read: To: My Loving Wife From: Your Already Departed Husband Subject: I've Arrived! I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was. P.S. Sure is hot down here! _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Nicole Sciortino, 30, Vincent Licciardello, 30, Dunmore, Pennsylvania Children left alone in bad conditions while mom vacationed in Florida A Pennsylvania mother and father are charged with endangering the welfare of their two children after knowingly leaving them home alone for three days, investigators said. Nicole Sciortino and Vincent Licciardello, both 30, were arraigned Monday morning, according to WNEP. According to court papers, on Wednesday, March 7, Dunmore police responded to Sciortino's home on Monroe Avenue for a report of children who had been left alone for weeks. Licciardello lives at a different address. When officers arrived, they found a 10-year-old and an 11-year-old home by themselves. Police say the place was in deplorable condition, with food, boxes, pills and other trash on the floor. The thermostat read 58 degrees. After tracking down the mother of two, police say Sciortino first told them she wasn’t far away, but later admitted that she was in Florida. According to the document, she told investigators that the children’s father, Licciardello, was watching the kids and that she didn’t realize it was against the law to leave her two children home alone unsupervised for an extended period of time. Sciortino added that she “didn’t think it was really that bad.” During the investigation, police found that on Monday, March 5, Licciardello dropped the kids off early in the morning at their mother's home. Over the next three days, while their mother was in Florida, he would occasionally stop by to drop food off for the unsupervised children. Authorities say they believe the children were alone during their mother's vacation, but not for weeks, as the 911 caller alleged. Police say one child has missed 16 days of school this year, while the other has missed 26 days. “That hurts. I’m a mom of five kids. I couldn’t imagine leaving my kids for 10 minutes without an adult supervisor,” said Tamra Murphy. “Who’s feeding them, who’s washing their clothes, who’s making sure their homework is done? That upsets me beyond it. That hurts me.” “That’s insane to me,” said Kaylia Riley. “I mean, at the end of the day, I couldn’t even leave my dogs for three days by themselves, let alone children, especially small children. It’s just mind-blowing.” Sciortino and Licciardello were both charged Monday with endangering the welfare of children. Both were given $10,000 unsecured bail, so both walked free. Investigators said the two children are staying with family friends. Tech Support Pits From: Trish Re: Screen Saver
Dear Webby After reading an old letter it occurred to me that I don't have a 'screen saver' on. I don't know if it's best to have it on or not to, I'm sure some other readers would be interested to know. I loaded the mickey mouse one (or all of them for all I know), it did appear after whatever time I have screen saver on for but after half an hour or so the screen went black as it usually is when I leave my computer on. Is this the 'power saving thing happening' or what, I really am not sure why one should have a 'screen saver', does it 'save the screen' or what, "please explain". Think I read once that they just take up space on the computer. Not talking about the desktop picture, just screen saver and why if you put one on the thing goes black after a short while anyway. Thanks if you can answer this. Regards to you and yours, Trish Dear Trish The screensaver makes sure that you don't burn the default desktop into the screen. With today's monitors that is not so common, but I remember when I was a mobile computer tech and taking care of the government computers in the Yukon, and seeing all the 10 inch greenie monitors clearly showing the IBM DisplayWrite 4 menu, even when turned off. A moving picture prevents that from happening. The reason your monitor eventually turns off is not because it gets tired of amusing the dust bunnies, but to reduce your electricity bill. You can set the length of time it burns electricity, after you finish doing anything on it, in the power options. A monitor translates into a 300 Watt Mickey Mouse watch, just to amuse your dust bunnies while you are sleeping. Microsoft thought that was kinda silly and gave you the option to save some money. By the way, the clock screensavers are at http://beeks.eu/Screensaver.htm This screensaver can be uninstalled through the [Control Panel] [Software Add remove programs] It can be installed through accounts with limited access rights. It supports multiple monitors. It contains No Adware, No Spyware, No nags, No registration, just time. Click here to download AJScreensaver for Windows 1.5Mb Have FUN! DearWebby Isaac Horowitz was feeling ill at work, and left after lunch to go home. He walked into the house and found his wife Sarah in the arms of another man. He started to yell at the interloper, "What right have you got to be messing with my wife?" The man answered calmly, "You may as well know that I am in love with Sarah and I would like to marry her. I understand you're a gambler. Why don't you be a good sport and sit down and play a game of gin rummy with me? If I lose, I'll never see her again; if you lose, you must agree to divorce her.... Okay?" "Okay," replied Horowitz, "but just to make it a little more interesting, why don't we play for a dollar a point?"
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in a theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, ''Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat.'' The man groaned but didn't budge. The usher became impatient. ''Sir,'' the usher said, ''if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager.'' Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager. In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly. ''All right buddy, what's your name?'' ''Sam,'' the man moaned. ''Where ya from, Sam?'' the cop asked. ''The balcony.''
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Thanks to Rheta for sending this poem: When I was very little, All the Grandmas that I knew All walked around this world, In ugly grandma shoes. You know the ones I speak of, Those black clunky heeled kind, They just looked so very awful That it weighed upon my mind, For I knew, when I grew old, I'd have to wear those shoes, I'd think of that, from time to time It seemed like such bad news. I never was a rebel, I wore saddle shoes to school. And next came ballerinas Then the sandals, pretty cool. And then came spikes with pointed toes, Then platforms, very tall, As each new fashion came I wore them, one and all. But always, in the distance, Looming in my future, there, Was that awful pair of ugly shoes, The kind that Grandmas wear. I eventually got married And then I became a Mom. Our kids grew up and left, And then their children came along. I knew I was a Grandma And the time was drawing near, When those clunky, black, old lace up shoes Was what I'd have to wear. How would I do my gardening? Or take my morning hike? I couldn't even think about How I would ride my bike! But fashions kept evolving, And one day I realized That the shape of things to come Was changing, right before my eyes. And now, when I go shopping What I see, fills me with glee. For, in my jeans and Reeboks I'm as comfy as can be. And I look at all these teenage girls And there, upon their feet Are clunky, black, old Grandma shoes, And they really think they're neat. ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Shop for Gifts at the Dollar Store This year when gift shopping, consider buying gifts as well as decorative items from your local dollar store. I went into our dollar store yesterday and was very pleasantly surprised at the amount of decorative items as well as gift items available - and at such a reasonable price! By Robin Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ Thanks to Rose for this story: I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few shots. They came out so well that I had copies made and included one with each of our Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically and suggesting I take a closer look. Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to my son, I had captured my reflection in the mirror--- wearing nothing but a camera!
Beautiful desert wild flowers in the Spring.
___________________________________________________ A certain tax attorney took on a very complex case of tax evasion for a rather mysterious client. He devoted over a year to the case, familiarizing himself with every loophole and angle of current legislation, and made a brilliant argument before the court. His client was called out of town when the jury returned with its verdict, a sweeping victory for his client on every count. Flushed with victory, the lawyer exuberantly cabled his client, "Justice has triumphed!" A realistic fellow, the client immediately wired back, "Appeal at once!" ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
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Today, March 26 in
1026 Conrad II was crowned Holy Roman Emperor by Pope John XIX. 

1799 Napoleon captured Jaffa Palestine. 

1793 The Holy Roman Emperor formally declared war on France. 

1804 The U.S. Congress ordered the removal of Indians east of the
Mississippi to Louisiana. 

1854 Charles III, duke of Parma, was attacked by an assassin. He
died the next day. 

1871 The Paris Commune was formally set up. 

1885 Eastman Kodak (Eastman Dry Plate and Film Co.) produced the
first commercial motion picture film in Rochester, NY.

1898 In South Africa, the world's first game reserve, the Sabi
Game reserve, was designated. 

1909 Russian troops invaded Persia to support Muhammad Ali as shah
in place of the constitutional government. 

1910 The U.S. Congress passed an amendment to the 1907 Immigration
Act that barred criminals, paupers, anarchists and carriers of
disease from settling in the U.S. 

1913 During the Balkan War, the Bulgarians took Adrianople. 

1917 At the start of the battle of Gaza, the British cavalry
withdrew when 17,000 Turks blocked their advance. 

1937 Spinach growers in Crystal City, TX, erected a statue of
Popeye. 

1938 Herman Goering warned all Jews to leave Austria. 

1942 The Germans began sending Jews to Auschwitz in Poland. 

1945 The battle of Iwo Jima ended. 

1945 In the Aleutians, the battle of Komandorski began when the
Japanese attempted to reinforce a garrison at Kiska and were
intercepted by a U.S. naval force. 

1953 Dr. Jonas Salk announced a new vaccine that would prevent
poliomyelitis. 

1958 The U.S. Army launched America's third successful satellite,
Explorer III. 

1969 The TV movie "Marcus Welby" was seen on ABC-TV. It was later
turned into a series. 

1971 Sheikh Mujibur Rahman declared East Pakistan to be the
independent republic of Bangladesh. 

1971 "Cannon" premiered on CBS-TV as a movie. It was turned into a
series later in the year. 

1973 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat took over the premiership and
said "the stage of total confrontation (with Israel) has become
inevitable." 

1979 The Camp David treaty was signed by Israel and Egypt that
ended the 31-year state of war between the countries. 

1983 The U.S. performed a nuclear test at the Nevada Test Site. 

1989 The first free elections took place in the Soviet Union.
Boris Yeltsin was elected. 

1991 The presidents of Argentina, Paraguay, Brazil and Uruguay
signed an agreement that established the Southern Cone Common
Market, a free-trade zone, by January 1, 1995. 

1992 In Indianapolis, heavyweight boxing champion Mike Tyson was
found guilty of rape. He was sentenced to 6 years in prison. He
only served three. 

1995 Seven of the 15 European Union states abolished border
controls. The other 8 thought ikt was a dumb idea.

1996 The International Monetary Fund approved a $10.2 billion loan
for Russia to help the country transform its economy. 

1997 The 39 bodies of Heaven's Gate members are found in a mansion
in Rancho Santa Fe, CA. The group had committed suicide thinking
that they would be picked up by a spaceship following behind the
comet Hale-Bopp. 

1998 In the U.S., the Federal government endorses new HIV test
that yields instant results. 

1998 Unisys Corp. and Lockheed Martin Corp. pay a $3.15 million
fine for selling spare parts at inflated prices to the U.S.
federal government. 

1999 The macro virus "Melissa" was reported for the first time. 

1999 In Michigan, Dr. Jack Kevorkian was convicted of second-
degree murder for giving a terminally ill man a lethal injection
and putting it all on videotape on September 17, 1998 for "60
Minutes." 

2000 The Seattle Kingdome was imploded to make room for a new
football arena. 

2000 In Russia, acting President Vladimir Putin was elected
president outright. He won a sufficient number of votes to avoid a
runoff election. 

2018  smiled.


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