Good Morning, !
Today is Monday,  June 11

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Philadelphia teacher accused of 
taking bribes from students
Bonehead
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Today, June 11 in
1990 The U.S. Supreme Court wimps struck down a law that 
would prohibit the desecration of the American Flag. 

More of today in history at HIstory
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If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!



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We seem to believe it is possible to ward off death by following
rules of good grooming.
--- Don Delillo

Things that matter most must never be at the mercy
of things that matter least.
--- Goethe
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If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

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How to Make a Woman Happy
It's not difficult to make a woman happy.
A man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOY MUST ALSO:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS ALSO VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes (Whether she tell you about them or not)


FOR WOMEN HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Show up naked
2. Bring food

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Oswego Harbor with the Oswego Lighthouse.
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If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________

The young secretary was describing her evening's exploits to
a friend. "After dinner," she said, "he wanted to come back
to my apartment, but I refused. I told him my mother would
worry if I did anything like that."

"That was smart," her friend said, approvingly, "Then what
happened?"

"He kept insisting, and I kept refusing," the secretary said.

"You didn't weaken your resolve did you?" asked the friend.

"Not one bit. In the end, we went to his apartment. I figured,
let HIS mother worry."
____________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

Amanda Richardson,
Philadelphia,
Pennsylvania

Philadelphia teacher accused of 
taking bribes from students

A Philadelphia high school has removed a teacher from the classroom
after she was accused of taking bribes from students in exchange
for better grades. NBC10 received a tip that Amanda Richardson, a
humanities teacher at LINC High School, was giving students higher
grades in exchange for undisclosed bribes.

The school district said that the teacher was "promptly" removed
from the classroom and the Inspector General and Philadelphia
police were notified of the allegations. 

"We are aware of the situation and once it was brought to our
attention, we acted immediately. The teacher was promptly removed
from the school and both the Inspector General and Philadelphia
Police have been notified. The School District of Philadelphia is
fully cooperating with the investigation."

Richardson refused to comment on the claims until everything is
cleared with the teachers union.



Tech Support Pits
From: Carole
Re: Attachments

Dear webby:
Does the Humor Letter ever have attachments?
Do you have a virus or spyware?
Carole

Dear Carole
No, the Humor Letter never has attachments, never did
and never will. It is not sent from a Windows computer,
but from a big server running Linux. 
Windows viruses and spyware don't work on Linux any more 
than a bicycle works on the ocean.

If you saw an attachment with the Humor Letter, then either
your computer or the computer of your ISP is infected,
or else you got your mail program misconfigured so that it
shows mail with embedded pictures as if they were
attachments.

Have FUN
DearWebby



Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.

A man makes a suggestion to his wife, "Honey, what do you
say that tonight we change positions?"

His wife responds with, "yes, I would really like that. Tonight,
you do the dishes and the n stand by the ironing board for a
couple of hours, and I'll lay on the couch and fart."



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



A Swedish couple in Minnasohda are applying for a marriage license.
The clerk asks the man his name and he replies, Yan Yohansenn.

The clerk asks the woman what her name is. She replies Yolanda
Yohansenn.

The clerk asks, "Oh, any relation"? The woman blushes and says,
Yust vunce, ve couldn't vait.
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Inspect Your Gutters 
Spring is a good time of year to check your gutters. Nail any
droopy gutters back to the fascia. The next time you get a good
rain, make sure the gutters are draining correctly and that water
is being chanelled 3 to 4 feet from your house.

Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com

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May's desert wild flowers in AZ.

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A guy is sitting in a bar, absolutely drooling at a pretty
young thing in her short, pink mini-dress. Using the time
honored ice breaker, he sends her a drink.

"How lucky am I," he thinks, as she gets up to come sit
next to him. They strike up a wonderful conversation.

Finally the girl turns to him and says, "Look, you seem like
a really nice guy, so I have to tell you that I'm a working girl.
I get two hundred dollars for what you think you'll ply out of
me with liquor."

He replies, "I have no problem with the money but, since you
were so straightforward I must tell you that when I come, I
go nuts. I bite, scratch, kick, punch, pull hair, break
furniture, and just plain destroy the place."

"Oh my God! How long does that last?" she asked.

"Just until I get my two hundred bucks back," he replied.
___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

A minister, a priest and a rabbi were discussing when life
begins.
"Those of my faith," said the minister, "believe that life
starts when the heart begins to beat."

"We take a different view," said the priest. "We believe
life starts at the moment of conception."

"Well," said the rabbi, "it is our belief that life starts
when the kids move out and the dog dies."
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Today, June 11 in
1346 Charles IV of Luxembourg was elected Holy Roman Emperor in
Germany. 

1509 King Henry VIII married his first of six wives, Catherine of
Aragon. 

1770 Captain James Cook discovered the Great Barrier Reef off of
Australia when he ran aground. 

1776 In America, the Continental Congress formed a committee to
draft a Declaration of Independence from Britain. 

1798 Napoleon Bonaparte took the island of Malta. 

1895 Charles E. Duryea received the first U.S. patent granted to an
American inventor for a gasoline-driven automobile. 

1912 Silas Christoferson became the first pilot to take off from
the roof of a hotel. 

1915 British troops took Cameroon in Africa. 

1927 Charles A. Lindberg was presented the first Distinguished
Flying Cross. 

1930 William Beebe dove to a record-setting depth of 1,426 feet off
the coast of Bermuda. He used a diving chamber called a
bathysphere. 

1934 The Disarmament Conference in Geneva ended in failure. 

1937 Soviet leader Josef Stalin began a purge of Red Army generals.

1940 The Italian Air Force bombed the British fortress at Malta in
the Mediterranean. 

1942 The U.S. and the Soviet Union signed a lend lease agreement to
aid the Soviets in their effort in World War II. 

1943 During World War II, the Italian island of Pantelleria
surrendered after a heavy air bombardment. 

1947 The U.S. government announced an end to sugar rationing. 

1963 Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was arrested in Florida for trying
to integrate restaurants. 

1963 Alabama Gov. George Wallace allowed two black students to
enroll at the University of Alabama. 

1967 Israel and Syria accepted a U.N. cease-fire. 

1973 After a ruling by the Justice Department of the State of
Pennsylvania, women were licensed to box or wrestle. 

1977 In the Netherlands, a 19-day hostage situation came to an end
when Dutch marines stormed a train and a school being held by South
Moluccan extremist. Two hostages and the six terrorists were
killed. 

1987 Margaret Thatcher became the first British prime minister in
160 years to win a third consecutive term of office. 

1990 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down a law that would prohibit
the desecration of the American Flag. 

1991 Mount Pinatubo in the Philippines erupted. The eruption of ash
and gas could be seen for more than 60 miles. 

1993 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that people who commit "hate
crimes" could be sentenced to extra punishment. The court also
ruled in favor of religious groups saying that they indeed had a
constitutional right to sacrifice animals during worship services. 

1993 Steven Spielberg's movie "Jurassic Park" opened. 

1998 Mitsubishi of America agreed to pay $34 million to end the
largest sexual harassment case filed by the U.S. government. The
federal lawsuit claimed that hundreds of women at a plant in
Normal, IL, had endured groping and crude jokes from male workers. 

1998 Pakistan announced moratorium on nuclear testing and offered
to talk with India over disputed Kashmir. 

2010 The FIFA World Cup opened in South Africa. It was the first
time it was held in Africa.

2018  smiled.





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