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Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday,  June 16

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Fake California cop arrested thanks to smart mother
Bonehead
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Today, June 16 in
1976 In Soweto, thousands of school children revolted against the
South African government's plan to enforce Afrikaans as the
language for instruction in black schools. 

More of today in history at HIstory
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If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!



______________________________________________________
Ronnie Shakes   
Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.
--- Frank Zappa (1940 - 1993)
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If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

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How many members of your sign does it take to change a light
bulb?
ARIES: Just one. You want to make something of it?
TAURUS: One, but just try to convince them that the burned-
out bulb is useless and should be thrown away.
GEMINI: Two, but the job never gets done -- they just keep
discussing who is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to
be done!
CANCER: Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to
help them through the grieving process.
LEO: Leos don't change light bulbs, although sometimes their
agent will get a Virgo in to do the job for them while they're
out.
VIRGO: Approximately 1.000000 with an error of +/- one
millionth.
LIBRA: Er, two. Or maybe one. No, on second thought, make
that two. Is that okay with you?
SCORPIO: That information is strictly secret and shared only
with the Enlightened Ones in the Star Chamber of the Ancient
Hierarchical Order.
SAGITTARIUS: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got
our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a
stupid burned-out light bulb?
CAPRICORN: I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.
AQUARIUS: Well, you have to remember that everything is
energy, so....
PISCES: Light bulb? What light bulb?

Too true!
However, I HAVE finally tossed all burned out lightbulbs!
I might need some help getting rid of all the empty cardboard 
boxes, though.
_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________



KLUNK!
_____________________________________________________


If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________

A woman in our diet club was lamenting that
she had gained weight.  She'd made her family's
favorite cake over the weekend, she reported,
and they'd eaten half of it at dinner.

Her husband teased her and said she would
never be able to stay away from the other half
until dinner the next night.

The next day, she said, she kept staring at the
other half, until finally she cut a thin slice for
herself.  One slice led to another, and soon
the whole cake was gone.  The woman went
on to tell us how upset she was with her lack
of willpower, and how she knew her husband
would rub it in.

Everyone commiserated, until someone asked
what her husband said when he found out.

She smiled.  "He never found out.  I made
another cake and ate half!"
____________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

Juan Rodriguez,
Los Angeles,
California

Fake California cop arrested thanks to smart mother

A California woman was praised for her “momma bear instincts” after
she distracted a gun-toting fake cop who was terrorizing her
husband and four children on Sunday by simply offering him a taco,
police said.

The family was enjoying carne asada tacos and soda from a food
truck in the City of Industry in Los Angeles County around 6:30
p.m. when a “dangerous stranger” approached the family and began
terrorizing them, police said in a news release Monday. The family
had stopped to get food after a day at the waterpark.

The man, identified as Juan Rodriguez, allegedly claimed to be an
undercover cop and flashed his gun concealed on his waistband and
flashed a badge in an attempt to prove his identity, police said.

The mother, however, saw right through the disguise, police said.

“The mother instantly began to put together a plan in place to
distance her husband, three daughters and toddler who was still
buckled in his car seat inches away from the man with a gun,”
police said.

The mother, going for the "taco tactic," offered the 38-year-old
suspect a taco and told him she needed to grab napkins from the
food truck.

“The man with the gun continued to flash his gun and ransack
through the mother’s purse as she walked away,” the news release
stated.

The mother approached customers at the taco truck, told them not
too look a back and told them a man with a gun was threatening her
family. The taco truck employees and customers immediately called
911.

Police found Rodriguez standing next to the family’s van when they
arrived at the scene. Rodriguez allegedly tried to escape by
tossing his gun in the van and trying to get in.

“Deputies were able to detain the suspect before anything further
occurred. Deputies recovered the gun and made sure all family
members were unharmed,” police said.

Rodriguez was charged with child endangerment, impersonation an
officer and outstanding warrants.  



Tech Support Pits
From: Richard
Re: End to spam

Dear Webby,
is there any hope that spam will ever decrease?
Richard

Dear Richard
Yes, sure, there is always hope. Just rent more senators
than the spammers do. (You can't buy them any more,
because they won't stay bought, but you can rent them.)

As it is, there are spammers suing people who get them
kicked out from their servers, claiming that they are 
protected by the U-CAN-SPAM law. 

Unless you have more money than the spammers, about all 
you can do now is to get some good spam control software
like FireTrust Mail Washer and get good at tuning it.
It's easy enough for anybody to make filters with it, and 
some people even treat it as a challenging game to stay
ahead of the spammers and trash their stuff, unseen.

Have FUN
DearWebby



Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.

A couple moved to the country when they retired. One mild   
winter, they had a bit of a problem with rodents in the   
garage. So they bought one of those little sub-sonic mouse   
repellants, the kind you plug in and they emit some kind   
of sound that drives off mice. The husband was showing it   
to their neighbor and explaining that it was an animal   
repellant. He told her that it worked on every thing from   
mice to elephants.   

"Really!?" she said, "Mice to elephants, eh." sounding a   
bit skeptical.   

"Yes," he replied, seriously. "We've had it here for a   
couple of weeks now and we haven't had a single elephant   
in the garage the whole time!"   



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



>From Bill
In a misguided burst of creativity, I installed a night-light   
into a conch shell I found on the beach. My wife took an   
instant dislike to it, and at the next yard sale, it was the   
first thing she put out.   

I felt vindicated when a woman kept coming back to check it   
out and finally bought it.   

"That'll look great in your home," I said.   

"Oh," she replied. "It's not for me." My bridge club is having   
a charity sale, and we were asked to bring the most hideous   
thing we could find. What I have here is the winner!"   
____________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Baking Soda and Dawn For Clothing Stains
A great way to remove clothing stains is to mix baking soda
and dish soap (Dawn) into a paste. Brush it into the stain
and let sit, depending on the severity of stain. Leave the
paste in and wash clothes as usual, works great. By Shirley

Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com

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13 things found on the internet today.

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"How was your golf game, dear?" asked Jack's wife Tracy.
"Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight's gotten so bad I
couldn't see where the ball went."
"But you're seventy-five years old, Jack!" admonished his wife,
"Why don't you take my brother Scott along?"
"But he's eighty-five and doesn't even play golf anymore,"
protested Jack.
"But he's got perfect eyesight. He could watch your ball,"
Tracy pointed out.

The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on. Jack swung,
and the ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway.
"Do you see it?" asked Jack.
"Yup," Scott answered.
"Well, where is it?" yelled Jack, peering off into the distance.
"Where is what ?", Scott answered.
"My ball! My golf ball!"
"Oh, I don't know. I was watching that cute lady over there.
Her ball went into the water."
___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount
of goods totaling a great deal of money. The distributor
noticed that the previous bill hadn't been paid. The collections
manager left a voice-mail for them saying,
"We can't ship your new order until you pay for the last one."

The next day the collections manager received a collect
phone call, "Please cancel the order. We can't wait that long.
____________________________________________________



Today, June 16 in
0455 Rome was sacked by the Vandal army. 

1487 The War of the Roses ended with the Battle of Stoke. 

1567 Mary, Queen of Scots, was imprisoned in Lochleven Castle in
Scotland. 

1815 Napoleon defeated the Prussians at the Battle of Ligny,
Netherlands. 

1858 In a speech in Springfield, IL, U.S. Senate candidate Abraham
Lincoln said the slavery issue had to be resolved. He declared, "A
house divided against itself cannot stand." 

1884 At Coney Island, in Brooklyn, NY, the first roller coaster in
America opened. 

1897 The U.S. government signed a treaty of annexation with Hawaii.

1903 Ford Motor Company was incorporated. 

1907 The Russian czar dissolved the Duma in St. Petersburg. 

1909 Glenn Hammond Curtiss sold his first airplane, the "Gold Bug"
to the New York Aeronautical Society for $5,000. 

1922 Henry Berliner accomplished the first US helicopter flight at
College Park, MD. 

1925 France accepted a German proposal for a security pact. 

1932 The ban on Nazi storm troopers was lifted by the von Papen
government in Germany. 

1940 Marshal Henri-Philippe Petain became the prime minister of the
Vichy government of occupied France. 

1941 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt ordered the closure of
all German consulates in the United States. The deadline was set as
July 10. 

1952 "Anne Frank: Diary of a Young Girl" was published in the
United States. 

1955 The U.S. House of Representatives voted to extend Selective
Service until 1959. 

1955 Pope Pius XII excommunicated Argentine President Juan Peron.
The ban was lifted eight years later. 

1955 Argentine naval officers launched an attack on President Juan
Peron's headquarters. The revolt was suppressed by the army. 

1961 Rudolf Nureyev defected from the Soviet Union while in Paris,
traveling with the Leningrad Kirov Ballet. 

1963 26-year-old Valentina Tereshkova went into orbit aboard the
Vostok 6 spacecraft for three days. She was the first female space
traveler. 

1972 Ulrike Meinhof was captured by West German police in Hanover.
She was co-founder of the Baader-Meinhof terrorist group and the
Red Army Faction (Rote Armee Fraktion). 

1975 The Simonstown agreement on naval cooperation between Britain
and South Africa ended. The agreement was formally ended by mutual
agreement after 169 years. 

1976 In Soweto, thousands of school children revolted against the
South African government's plan to enforce Afrikaans as the
language for instruction in black schools. 

1977 Leonid Brezhnev was named the first Soviet president of the
USSR. He was the first person to hold the post of president and
Communist Party General Secretary. He replaced Nikolai Podgorny. 

1978 U.S. President Carter and Panamanian leader Omar Torrijos
ratified the Panama Canal treaties. 

1983 Yuri Andropov was elected chairman of the Presidium of the
Supreme Soviet. The position was the equivalent of president. 

1984 Wilson Ferreira Aldunate was arrested upon his return from an
eleven year exile. Aldunate had been a popular Uruguayan opposition
leader. 

1992 U.S. President George H.W. Bush welcomed Russian President
Boris Yeltsin to a meeting in Washington, DC. The two agreed in
principle to reduce strategic weapon arsenals by about two-thirds
by the year 2003. 

1996 Russian voters had their first independent presidential
election. Boris Yeltsin was the winner after a run-off. 

1999 The U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals said that a 1992 federal
music piracy law does not prohibit a palm-sized device that can
download high-quality digital music files from the Internet and
play them at home. 

2000 U.S. federal regulators approved the merger of Bell Atlantic
and GTE Corp. The merger created the nation's largest local phone
company. 

2000 U.S. Secretary of Energy Bill Richardson reported that an
employee at the Los Alamos National Laboratory in New Mexico had
discovered that two computer hard drives were missing. 

2008 California began issuing marriage licenses to same-sex
couples.

2018  smiled.





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