Dear Webby Humor Letter Blog Bacdjking up to the cloud  Monday, June 18, 2018, 07:56 AMPosted by Administrator  --- Good Morning, ! Today is Monday, June 18 Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Homeowner Returns From Work, Interrupts Pot And Cake Party Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, June 18 in 1812 The War of 1812 began as the U.S. declared war against Great Britain. The conflict began over trade restrictions. More of today in history at HIstory ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own. --- Doug Larson Perhaps in time the so-called Dark Ages will be thought of as including our own. --- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742 - 1799) Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach a man to create an artificial shortage of fish and he will eat steak. --- Jay Leno ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A van carrying a dozen movie stuntmen on the way to a film location in the mountains of Alberta spun out of control on the icy road, crashed through a guard-rail, rolled down a 1200-foot embankment, landed on it's roof, and burst into flames. There were no injuries. One of them yelled: "Let's do it again!" _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Linda for this picture: Plitvice Lakes in Croatia _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! _____________________________________________________ A driver who was bringing a meticulously prepared and pre-dented bus to a location in New York City for an on-location movie shoot, was too early and drove to a nearby restaurant to wait there. Just to be funny, he carefully lined up the artificial dent at the front with a light pole. When he came back out of the restaurant, there were eight passengers in the bus, moaning and groaning and "Oy-vey-it's me" ing about whiplash and talking to their lawyers on their cellphones. ____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jeremiah Garib, 19, Morganfield, Kentucky Homeowner Returns From Work, Interrupts Pot And Cake Party Four Union County residents have been accused of breaking into a woman's house, smoking marijuana, baking a cake and stealing a pair of shoes. It happened around 3 p.m. Monday on East Houston Street, according to 'The Gleaner.' The Morganfield Police Department says a resident came home from work to find Jeremiah Garib, 19, Xavion R. Elkins, 20, and two juveniles running out of her house. Officials said the resident was able to positively identify Garib as an acquaintance of her son, who was not home. MPD Chief Geoffrey Deibler said Garib, Elkins and the juveniles did not have permission to be in the dwelling. Police said after looking around the house, the owner discovered that she'd interrupted a party of sorts with cake, ice cream, and marijuana. "When the individuals broke into the home they had baked a cake, and were preparing to eat the cake and some ice cream when the homeowner returned home from work," a news release said. "Upon fleeing they had left some marijuana residue inside the home and the smell of smoked marijuana was in the air." In a later interview with The Gleaner, Chief Deibler said the group apparently couldn't find icing so they opened a jar of homemade jam and were using it to ice the cake. Garib had allegedly left his shirt and loafers behind, but had taken the time to grab a pair of the resident's son's shoes, Deibler said. When Garib allegedly left the house, he went to a local business called Theramax on North Court Street. There he hid some marijuana that had been "packaged for sale" in a trash can, Deibler said. Two were arrested and face charges. Tech Support Pits From: Bill Re: Cloud Backup, again Dear Webby, Good Morning: I was wondering if you have had a chance to consider my question about cloud backup. I am presently backing up to two external drives using "EaseUS ToDo". I find this to be less than satisfactory, because I still lose data. The original email appears below. Thanks again. Bill Hi Bill I answered you on June 14. Look for the one where I mentioned Xcopy. To: gardner@cottagecountry.net Subject: Re: Cloud Backup Are you blocking me or sending me to your SPAM folder? Here it is again: ================================== Hi Bill By using an intelligent method to backing up, you can save yourself a lot of money. For example, Windows is stashed on a hidden partition and can be re-installed from there. If the hard drive fails, you can get it again from the manufacturer. Most programs you can download again and re-install, if you have saved the download URL and your registration or serial number. You can print those. Do that with everything, except the stuff you have created or received. That will actually be very little and will easily fit into a free Google Cloud back-up. You can even put it onto a thumb drive or camera chip. You can use a DOS bat using xcopy, the world's most powerful "program". With xcopy you just copy what is newer at the source than at the destination, a trick that saves a lot of time and space. Make a plain text list of what you want to back up. then write a "bat" using that list and pasting xcopy /D /E /C /H /I /O /R /Y /Z in the front of each line, and at the end a space and the destination. An example line would be: xcopy /D /E /C /H /I /O /R /Y /Z C:\Program Files (x86)\Qualcomm\Eudora\*.* I:\alpha\eudora I: in this case is the camera chip, that you use for back-up. Once you got all the goodies listed like that, save the file as back.bat Find the file with the file explorer, and make a shortcut icon for it, and drag that to the desktop. Now, every time you swat that shortcut, it will check all items in your list to see what is newer on the computer than on the camera chip. It won't waste time on stuff, that is not newer, and just back up what is newer. You can, of course, use two camera chips, one to be in your safety deposit box, and the other in a chip reader, and once a month you swap the chips. All those "switches" (/D /E /C /H /I /O /R /Y /Z) are optional. You can read up on them here, but no need to study and memorize them. Just use them the way I got them in the example. You can, of course, use different ones. Up to you. XCOPY source [destination] [/A | /M] [/D[:date]] [/P] [/S [/E]] [/V] [/W] [/C] [/Q] [/F] [/L] [/G] [/H] [/R] [/T] [/U] [/K] [/N] [/O] [/X] [/Y] [/-Y] [/Z] [/EXCLUDE:file1[+file2][+file3]...] source Specifies the file(s) to copy. destination Specifies the location and/or name of new files. /A Copies only files with the archive attribute set, doesn't change the attribute. /M Copies only files with the archive attribute set, turns off the archive attribute. /D:m-d-y Copies files changed on or after the specified date. If no date is given, copies only those files whose source time is newer than the destination time. /EXCLUDE:file1[+file2][+file3]... Specifies a list of files containing strings. Each string should be in a separate line in the files. When any of the strings match any part of the absolute path of the file to be copied, that file will be excluded from being copied. For example, specifying a string like \obj\ or .obj will exclude all files underneath the directory obj or all files with the .obj extension respectively. /P Prompts you before creating each destination file. /S Copies directories and subdirectories except empty ones. /E Copies directories and subdirectories, including empty ones. Same as /S /E. May be used to modify /T. /V Verifies the size of each new file. /W Prompts you to press a key before copying. /C Continues copying even if errors occur. /I If destination does not exist and copying more than one file, assumes that destination must be a directory. /Q Does not display file names while copying. /F Displays full source and destination file names while copying. /L Displays files that would be copied. /G Allows the copying of encrypted files to destination that does not support encryption. /H Copies hidden and system files also. /R Overwrites read-only files. /T Creates directory structure, but does not copy files. Does not include empty directories or subdirectories. /T /E includes empty directories and subdirectories. /U Copies only files that already exist in destination. /K Copies attributes. Normal Xcopy will reset read- only attributes. /N Copies using the generated short names. /O Copies file ownership and ACL information. /X Copies file audit settings (implies /O). /Y Suppresses prompting to confirm you want to overwrite an existing destination file. /-Y Causes prompting to confirm you want to overwrite an existing destination file. /Z Copies networked files in restartable mode. /B Copies the Symbolic Link itself versus the target of the link. /J Copies using unbuffered I/O. Recommended for very large files. Instead of a camera chip, you can, of course, also back up onto Google Drive, Microsoft Drive, BackBlaze, whatever. Entirely up to you. The major advantage is that Xcopy is extremely fast, since it does not waste time on files, that are not new since the last back-up. That greatly reduces the chance of a power bump or impatient shut- down while a back-up is still in progress. =========================== From: Darlene Re: SecurityCenter.FirewallDisableNotify Good Morning, DearWebby This is in reply to Don and removing the Firewall Disable notify from his Spybot. I had the same problem all the time and finally I right clicked on it when it appeared in the remove panel and then clicked on DO NOT CHECK FOR THIS and it stopped coming up all the time. Have a super day and thanks again for the great humour letter Darlene Dear Darlene yes, that certainly works, and with that particular item is quite safe to use. You can also tell it not to worry about navigational cookies for your bank, telephone company Amazon, and other legitimate places. Have FUN DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. From Shirley: Sensational warnings spawned south of the border WASHINGTON (AP) - An odd-looking Canadian quarter with a bright red flower was the culprit behind a false espionage warning from the U.S. Defense Department about mysterious coins with radio frequency transmitters, The Associated Press has learned. The harmless ''poppy quarter'' was so unfamiliar to suspicious U.S. army contractors travelling in Canada that they filed confidential espionage accounts about them. The worried contractors described the coins as ''filled with something man-made that looked like nano-technology,'' according to once classified U.S. government reports and e-mails obtained by the AP. The silver-coloured 25-cent piece features the red image of a poppy, Canada's flower of remembrance and support for the troops, inlaid over a maple leaf.. .......... Shirley Dear Shirley We don't just have Support The Troops quarters with the red poppy, we also have Breast Cancer Quarters with the pink ribbon. This one is a bit worn, but the only one I had in my wallet today. Ask your friends to click on the pretty link to the Breast Cancer Site in the right side menu! Give them a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter to make sure they click. Last time I looked you and others who clicked on the breast cancer site button funded 12.1 mammograms for women who could not afford one. That is awesome! Have FUN! DearWebby If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! A judge was instructing the jury that a witness was not necessarily to be regarded as untruthful because he changed his statement after he gave it to the police. "For example," he said, "when I entered my chambers today, I was positive that I had my gold watch in my pocket. But then I remembered that I left in on my nightstand in my bedroom." When the judge returned home that evening, his wife asked him "Why so much urgency for your watch? Isn't sending three men to pick it up for you a bit extreme?" "What?" said the judge, "I didn't send anyone for my watch, let alone three people. What did you do?" "I gave it to the first one," said the wife, "he knew exactly where it was." ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Potato Storage To keep potatoes from budding, place a small apple in the bag with the potatoes. You should also store them in a dark, cool location and keep them away from onions, to avoid moldy potatoes and onions. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ Let's snoop around F. Scott Fitzgerald's French Villa ___________________________________________________ An ancient classic: A woman suspects her husband is cheating on her. One day, she dials her home and a strange woman answers. The woman says, " Who is this?" "This is the maid," answered the woman. "We don't have a maid," said the woman. The maid says, "I was hired this morning by the man of the house." The woman says, "Well, this is his wife. Is he there?" The maid replied, "He is upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I figured was his wife." The woman is fuming. she says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?" The maid says, "What will I have to do?" The woman tells her, "I want you to get my gun from the desk, and shoot the jerk and the witch he's with." The maid puts the phone down; the woman hears footsteps and the gun shots. The maid comes back to the phone, "What do I do with the bodies?" The woman says, "Throw them in the swimming pool." Puzzled, the maid answers, "But there's no pool here." A long pause and the woman says, "Is this 555-4821?" ___________________________________________________ Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. Thanks to Dianne for this literary masterpiece: (don't think of it as blasphemy, but as literary art) CARSTIANITY (Read it aloud!) "Haul a Yugo. Haul a Yugo." Gearly beloved, we are Blazered here in the name of our Four-door, who art in Half-ton. I'm speaking of our lord and Mazda, Jeep-sus Chrysler. He is the Alfa and the Romeo. He was born in a Ranger, he was Tempo'd by the DeVille, and he Daihatsu'd for your Sentras. He said, "Dodge not, that ye not be Dodged. Thou shalt not Corvette thy neighbor's Whitewall, but turn the other Cherokee. If ye have Fiat, ye can move Montecarlos. He ain't Chevy, he's my Beretta." He ate the Last Supra, and he climbed the mount of Cavalier, where they Cruise-controlled him on the Motocross. But God, in his Infiniti Mercedes, did Rolls away the Stanza. Let us Prelude: Sayeth the prophet Isuzu, in the Dusenburg Bible, In the 23rd Saab, "The Ford is my Chauffeur. I shall not Walk. He Lexus me in the paths of Right-turn-signals. Yea, though I walk through the Valet of the Shadow of Dart, I shall Fiero no Eagle. Subaru Goodwrench and Mercury shall Volvo me Audi Daytonas of my life, and I shall Dwellmeter house of Delorean, Four-cylinder." Gloria, In Ex-Celica Geo! GM ____________________________________________________ Today, June 18 in 1155 Frederick I Barbarossa was crowned emperor of Rome. 1429 French forces defeated the English at the battle of Patay. The English had been retreating after the siege of Orleans. 1621 The first duel in America took place in the Plymouth Colony in Massachusetts. 1667 The Dutch fleet sailed up the Thames toward London. 1778 Britain evacuated Philadelphia during the U.S. Revolutionary War. 1812 The War of 1812 began as the U.S. declared war against Great Britain. The conflict began over trade restrictions. 1815 At the Battle of Waterloo Napoleon was defeated by an international army under the Duke of Wellington. Napoleon abdicated on June 22. 1817 London's Waterloo Bridge opened. The bridge, designed by John Rennie, was built over the River Thames. 1863 J.J. Richardson received a patent for the ratchet wrench. 1873 Susan B. Anthony was fined$100 for attempting to vote for a U.S. President. 1898 Atlantic City, NJ, opened its Steel Pier. 1915 During World War I, the second battle of Artois ended. 1918 Allied forces on the Western Front began their largest counter-attack against the German army. (World War I) 1925 The first degree in landscape architecture was granted by Harvard University. 1927 The U.S. Post Office offered a special 10-cent postage stamp for sale. The stamp was of Charles Lindbergh’s "Spirit of St. Louis." 1928 Amelia Earhart became the first woman to fly across the Atlantic Ocean as she completed a flight from Newfoundland to Wales. 1936 The first bicycle traffic court was established in Racine, WI. 1942 The U.S. Navy commissioned its first black officer, Harvard University medical student Bernard Whitfield Robinson. 1948 The United Nations Commission on Human Rights adopted its International Declaration of Human Rights. 1951 General Vo Nguyen Giap ended his Red River Campaign against the French in Indochina. 1953 Egypt was proclaimed to be a republic with General Neguib as its first president. 1959 A Federal Court annulled the Arkansas law allowing school closings to prevent integration. 1959 The first telecast received from England was broadcast in the U.S. over NBC-TV. 1961 "Gunsmoke" was broadcast for the last time on CBS radio. 1966 Samuel Nabrit became the first African American to serve on the Atomic Energy Commission. 1979 In Vienna, U.S. President Jimmy Carter and Leonid Brezhnev signed the Strategic Arms Limitation Treaty (SALT) 2. 1982 The U.S. Senate approved the renewal of the 1965 Voting Rights Act for an additional twenty-five years. 1983 Dr. Sally Ride became the first American woman in space aboard the space shuttle Challenger. 1998 The Walt Disney Co. purchased a 43% stake in the Web search engine company Infoseek Corp. 2000 In Algiers, Algeria, the foreign ministers of Ethiopia and Eritrea signed a preliminary cease-fire accord and agreed to work toward a permanent settlement of their two-year border war. 2009 NASA launched the Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter/LCROSS probes to the Moon. It was the first American lunar mission since Lunar Prospector in 1998. 2009 Greenland assumed control over its law enforcement, judicial affairs, and natural resources from the Kingdom of Denmark. Greenlandic became the official language. 2018 smiled. [ view entry ] ( 4 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 818 ) < Last>>  - Page Generated in 0.0575 seconds | Site Views: 16