Soft foculs for selection 


Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday,  July 4
Happy Independence Day for the US!

Happy Independence Day for the Philippines!

Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
 Florida woman tries to abduct kids from park,
 punches pregnant woman
Today, July 4 in
1776 The amended Declaration of Independence, prepared by Thomas
Jefferson, was approved and signed by John Hancock, the President
of the Continental Congress in America. 

1946 The Philippines achieved full independence 
for the first time in over four hundred years. 
More of today in history at HIstory
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Behind every great fortune there is a crime. --- Honore de Balzac (1799 - 1850) In mathematics you don't understand things. You just get used to them. --- Johann von Neumann (1903 - 1957) ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A child was watching his mother sift through and delete a long list of junk E-mail on the computer screen. "This reminds me of the Lord's Prayer," the child said. "What do you mean?" "You know. That part about 'deliver us from E-mail.' " _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Elena Karneeva _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________ >From Mickey My boyfriend and I met online and we'd been dating for over a year. I introduced Hans to my uncle, who was fascinated by the fact that we me over the Internet. He asked Hans what kind of line he had used to pick me up. Ever the geek, Hans naively replied," I just used a regular 20 Mbps DSL modem." ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Sarah Freeman, 34, Port Orange Florida Florida woman tries to abduct kids from park, punches pregnant woman A 34-year-old Port Orange woman on Monday afternoon tried to abduct two children from a park in the Wilbur-By-The-Sea neighborhood before punching a pregnant woman, the Volusia County Sheriff's Office said. Deputies said they were called shortly before 1:30 p.m. to Toronita Avenue Beach Park at Toronita and South Atlantic avenues after two parents reported they had to pull their children away from Sarah Freeman, Sheriff's Office spokesman Andrew Gant said. Investigators said Freeman approached a 7-year-old girl, told her, "This isnít a Florida trip youíre going to want to remember," and tried to grab her by the towel she was wearing. The girl's mother, who is six months pregnant, pulled her daughter away from Freeman, who hit the woman during the struggle, deputies said. Investigators said Freeman approached a man whose backside she struck with a stick before saying, "We donít know you around here." "She told his 5-year-old son, 'It will be all right. He's not your dad,' grabbed him by the arm and started to walk away," Gant said. "The father intervened, got his son back and took him back to his truck, where Freeman tried to force her way in through a passenger window." Deputies said Freeman turned to another woman and said, "I'll just take your kid, then." The woman took her child into their vehicle and locked the doors, investigators said. "Once in custody, she mumbled and made unintelligible statements to a deputy, who noticed she appeared to be under the influence of some unknown substance," Gant said. Freeman was booked into the Volusia County Branch Jail on two counts of attempted kidnapping and one count each of aggravated battery on a pregnant victim, burglary of a conveyance and battery. She is being held without bail.
Tech Support Pits From: Britta Re: More on Soft focus for picture Dear Webby Did somebody rudely interrupt you as you were explaining how to make a sharp spot in a soft focus picture? What is the next step? Britta Dear Britta If somebody did, I would never tell on her '-) Select the relevant part with the lassoo or any selecting tool, Th0en the next step is to play and experiment. Do you want the irrelevant parts of that machine, or whatever you are describing, to be shaded, as if only the relevant part was in the sun ? Then reduce brightness. Do you want a light mist over the irrelevant parts? Then increase brightness and reduce contrast. Just play and experiment until yuo have the results that you want. Then stick with that setting. Have FUN DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A lady lost her handbag at the mall. found it and returned it to her. Looking in her purse, she said, "Hmm, that's funny. When I lost my bag, there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills." replied, "That IS funny. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A voice on the bank loudspeaker announced: "We will be testing the speaker system to make sure it will work pro- perly in case of emergency." My confidence in this safety precaution faded when the voice added: "If you are unable to hear this announcement, please contact the main office." ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Loading a Moving Truck If you rent a moving truck, these tips may be helpful to consider as you load it. Make sure to stack breakable items towards the top and put the items that you want to get to first in the truck last. Load items as tightly as possible to prevent boxes from shifting while driving. If you have any large furniture or appliances that may have a tendency to tip or slide when driving up or a down a hill, make sure to tie them to the wall. Tip provided by ____________________________________________________
Inside the deserted mansions of an American heiress.
___________________________________________________ >Thanks to Sarah for this one: (She's not worried that her mother will read his submission. She's not on the net, because she is afraid she might miss a call from her) Phone rings. JEWISH MOTHER picks up the phone and answers) Jewish Mother Hello? Daughter Hi Mom. Can I leave the kids with you tonight? Jewish Mother You're going out? Daughter Yes. Jewish Mother With whom? Daughter With a friend. Jewish Mother I don't know why you left your husband. He is such a good man. Daughter I didn't leave him. He left me! Jewish Mother You let him leave you, and now you go out with anybodies and nobodies. Daughter I do not go out with anybody. Can I bring over the kids? Jewish Mother I never left you to go out with anybody except your father. Daughter There are lots of things that you did and I don't. Jewish Mother What are you hinting at? Daughter Nothing. I just want to know if I can bring the kids over tonight. Jewish Mother You're going to stay the night with him? What will your husband say if he finds out? Daughter My EX husband. I don't think he would be bothered. From the day he left me, he probably never slept alone! Jewish Mother So you're going to sleep over at this loser's place? Daughter He's not a loser. Jewish Mother A man who goes out with a divorced woman with children is a loser and a parasite. Daughter I don't want to argue. Should I bring over the kids or not? Jewish Mother Poor children with such a mother. Daughter Such a what? Jewish Mother With no stability. No wonder your husband left you. Daughter ENOUGH !!! Jewish Mother Don't scream at me. You probably scream at this loser too! Daughter Now you're worried about the loser? Jewish Mother Ah, so you see he's a loser. I spotted him immediately. Daughter Goodbye, mother. Jewish Mother Wait! Don't hang up! When are you bringing them over? Daughter I'm not bringing them over! I'm not going out! Jewish Mother If you never go out, how do you expect to meet anyone? ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him, and then told him, "Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your troubles to bed with you." "I know," said the man, "but I can't. She will divorce me if I don't. ____________________________________________________

Today, July 4 in
1776 The amended Declaration of Independence, prepared by Thomas
Jefferson, was approved and signed by John Hancock, the President
of the Continental Congress in America. 

1802 The U.S. Military Academy officially opened at West Point, NY.

1803 The Louisiana Purchase was announced in newspapers. The
property was purchased, by the U.S. from France, was for $15
million (or 3 cents an acre). The "Corps of Discovery," led by
Meriwether Lewis and William Clark, began the exploration of the
territory on May 14, 1804. 

1817 Construction began on the Erie Canal, to connect Lake Erie and
the Hudson River. 

1845 American writer Henry David Thoreau began his two-year
experiment in simple living at Walden Pond, near Concord, MA. 

1848 In Washington, DC, the cornerstone for the Washington Monument
was laid. 

1863 The Confederate town of Vicksburg, MS, surrendered to General
Ulysses S. Grant. 

1884 Bullfighting was introduced in the U.S. in Dodge City, KS. 

1886 The first rodeo in America was held at Prescott, AZ. 

1892 The first double-decked street car service was inaugurated in
San Diego, CA. 

1894 After seizing power, Judge Stanford B. Dole declared Hawaii a

1901 William H. Taft became the American governor of the

1910 Race riots broke out all over the United States after African-
American Jack Johnson knocked out Jim Jeffries in a heavyweight
boxing match. 

1934 Boxer Joe Louis won his first professional fight. 

1934 At Mount Rushmore, George Washington's face was dedicated. 

1946 The Philippines achieved full independence for the first time
in over four hundred years. 

1955 The first king cobra snakes born in captivity in the U.S.
hatched at the Bronx Zoo in New York City. 

1957 The U.S. Postal Service issued the 4Ę Flag stamp. 

1959 The 49-star U.S. flag became official. 

1960 The 50-star U.S. flag made its debut in Philadelphia, PA. 

1966 U.S. President Johnson signed the Freedom of Information Act,
which went into effect the following year. 

1976 The U.S. celebrated its Bicentennial. 

1982 The Soviets performed a nuclear test at Eastern Kazakhl

1987 Klaus Barbie, the former Gestapo chief known as the "Butcher
of Lyon," was convicted by a French court of crimes against
humanity and sentenced to life in prison. 

1997 The Mars Pathfinder, an unmanned spacecraft, landed on Mars. A
rover named Sojourner was deployed to gather data about the
of the planet. 

1997 Ferry service between Manhattan and Staten Island was made
free of charge. Previously, the charge had ranged from 5 cents to
50 cents. 

2004 In New York, the cornerstone of the Freedom Tower (One World
Trade Center) was laid on the former World Trade Center site. 

2005 NASA's Deep Impact spacecraft took pictures as a space probe
smashed into the Tempel 1 comet. The mission was aimed at learning
more about comets that formed from the leftover buidling blocks of
the solar system. The Deep Impact mission launched on January 12,

2009 North Korea launched seven ballistic missiles into waters off
its east coast that defied U.N. resolutions. 

2009 The Statue of Liberty's crown reopened to visitors. It had
been closed to the public since 2001. 

2018  smiled.

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