Keeping neighbors off your wireless
Sunday, July 8, 2018, 09:48 AM
Posted by Administrator
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Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, July 8
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Counterfeit user in Florida caught
Bonehead
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Today, July 8 in
1099 Christian soldiers on the First Crusade march around Jerusalem.
More of today in history at HIstory
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Cockroaches and socialites are the only things that can stay up
all night and eat anything.
--- Herb Caen
If we don't change direction soon, we'll end up where we're going.
--- Professor Irwin Corey (1914 - )
Humans are not proud of their ancestors,
and rarely invite them round to dinner.
--- Douglas Adams
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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I would
like to live very long. What should I do?"
"I think that is a wise decision," the doctor replies.
"Let's see, do you smoke?"
"Oh.. Half a pack a day."
"Starting NOW, no more smoking." The man agrees.
The doctor then asks, "Do you drink?"
"Oh, well Doc, not much, just a bit of wine with my
meals, and a beer or two every once in a while."
"Starting now, you drink only water. No exceptions."
The man is a bit upset, but also agrees.
The doctor asks, "How do you eat?"
"Oh, well, you know, Doc, normal stuff."
"Starting now you are going on a very strict diet.
You are going to eat only raw vegetables, with no
dressing, and non-fat cottage cheese."
The man is now really worried. "Doc, is all this
really necessary?"
"Do you want to live long?"
"Yes."
"Well then, it's absolutely necessary. And don't
even think of breaking the diet." The man is
quite restless, but the doctor continues, "Do
you have sex?"
"Yeah, once a week or so..., only with my wife!"
he adds hurriedly.
"As soon as you get out of here you are going to
buy twin beds. No more sex for you. None."
The man is appalled. "Doc... Are you sure I'm
going to live longer this way?"
"I have no idea, but whatever you live, I assure
you is going to seem like an eternity!"
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Tom's barn burned down and his wife, Matilda Jane, called
her insurance agent to file a claim...
Matilda Jane told the insurance company, "We had that barn
insured for fifty thousand and I want my money, right quick!"
The agent replied, "Just a minute, there, Matilda Jane.
Insurance doesn't work quite like that. We will ascertain the
value of what was insured and provide you with a new one of
comparable worth."
There was a long pause before Matilda Jane replied, "Then I'd
like to cancel the policy on my husband... Right NOW!!"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by
Priscilla Corpus,
21,
North Lauderdale,
Florida
Counterfeit user in Florida caught
A Florida woman's free fast food binge ended Tuesday.
According to a Facebook post from the Martin County Sheriff's
Office, Priscilla Corpus and her alleged partner in crime Jeffrey
Scot Robinson was taken into custody on Tuesday.
According to TCPalm.com, staffers at Dunkin Donuts tipped off cops
to what appeared to be a fake bill.
Deputies stopped the pair's trek in Stuart as they were motoring to
their next location to hit up.
In their car, along with numerous bags of food from restaurants
along the Treasure Coast, deputies found more than $500 in
counterfeit $20 and $50 bills, along with more than $1,500 in real
U.S. currency.
"The duo also had two fake guns, a number of wigs and a change of
clothing," read the report.
Corpus, who is from North Lauderdale, admitted to detectives she
would go to various fast/casual food chains like Dunkin Donuts,
Panera and McDonald's and pay for a meal with a counterfeit bill,
then get authentic money in change.
Robinson, who is from Pompano Beach, was the driver, but had no
valid license, said the sheriff's department.
Corpus, 21, was charged with uttering a forged instrument (three
counts), possessing forged bills and permitting an unauthorized
operator to drive. She is being held at the Martin County Jail on a
$20,400 bond, according to deputies.
Robinson was charged with operating a vehicle without a license,
and resisting arrest without violence. The 19 year old, who was not
involved with any phony cash transactions, cops say, was released
from the Martin County Jail on $950 bond.
Tech Support Pits
From: Wes
Re: Keeping neighbors off your wireless
Dear Webby,
I have wireless, but always wonder if someone is "piggy-
backing" off of my signel. How does one stop a neighbor
from doing this?
Dear Wes
Password your access.
Or, if your neighbors don't have any hackabilly teenagers,
rent them a share. Most routers are good for six shares.
It is still a good idea to password your wireless and give
each share a password. In many towns junior geeks go
"war cruising" to find open networks, and use them to get
onto the net to do all kinds of mischief.
Have FUN
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend
and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue
in the Netherlands flag.
"Our flag symbolizes our taxes," he said.
"We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our
tax bill, and blue after we pay them."
"That's the same with us," the American said, "only we see
stars, too."
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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Smith emailed his supervisor in the front office. "Boss,"
he wrote, "my mother-in-law is doing some heavy house-cleaning
tomorrow, and my wife wants me to go help with the attic
and the garage, moving and hauling stuff."
"We're short-handed, Smith," the boss replied. "I can't give
you the day off."
"Thanks, boss," Smith wrote back, "I knew I could count on
you!"
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Camp Grill Cooking Tips
Apply cooking spray to your grill to keep food from sticking.
When cooking it in a pot, use a lid. The food will cook faster
and it will help keep dirt and insects out of your meal. Wrap
potatoes and other vegetables in foil with a little butter and
spices to cook on the grill.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
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800 year old doodles. Some things never change. |
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Morris and Manuel were partners in a very successful garment
manufacturing company in N.Y.C. They Both were having a
' fling ' with Beckie....a young attractive model who worked
for their firm.
One rainy day Beckie announced to her two lovers,
"I'm pregnant! "
Since both partners were married men they decided that
Manuel would take Beckie to Mexico where she could have the
baby without a scandal.
Manuel took off for Mexico with Beckie while Morris ran the
business and worried.
Several months later an Email arrived for Morris from Manuel.
It read..." Dear Partner: Beckie had Twins. Mine died at
birth. What do you want to name yours ?
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Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
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When my sister Andrea got married, she asked to wear my
mother's wedding dress. The day she tried it on for the
first time I was sitting with Mother in the living room as
Andrea descended the stairs. The gown was a perfect fit on
her petite frame. Mother's eyes welled with tears. I put my
arm around her.
"You're not losing a daughter," I reminded her in time-
honored fashion. "You're gaining a son."
"Oh, forget about that BS!" she wailed with a sob.
"I used to fit into that dress!"
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Today, July 8 in
1099 Christian soldiers on the First Crusade march around Jerusalem.
1608 The first French settlement at Quebec was established by
Samuel de Champlain.
1663 King Charles II of England granted a charter to Rhode Island.
1693 Uniforms for police in New York City were authorized.
1709 Peter the Great defeated Charles XII at Poltava, in the
Ukraine, The Swedish empire was effectively ended.
1755 Britain broke off diplomatic relations with France as their
disputes in the New World intensified.
1776 Col. John Nixon gave the first public reading of the U.S.
Declaration of Independence to a crowd at Independence Square in
Philadelphia.
1794 French troops captured Brussels, Belgium.
1815 Louis XVIII returned to Paris after the defeat of Napoleon.
1865 C.E. Barnes patented the machine gun.
1879 The first ship to use electric lights departed from San
Francisco, CA.
1881 Edward Berner, druggist in Two Rivers, WI, poured chocolate
syrup on ice cream in a dish. To this time chocolate syrup had only
been used for making ice-cream sodas.
1889 John L. Sullivan defeated Jake Kilrain, in the last
championship bare-knuckle fight. The fight lasted 75 rounds.
1907 Florenz Ziegfeld staged his first "Follies" on the roof of the
New York Theater in New York City.
1947 Demolition work began in New York City for the new permanent
headquarters of the United Nations.
1950 General Douglas MacArthur was named commander-in-chief of
United Nations forces in Korea.
1953 Notre Dame announced that the next five years of its football
games would be shown in theatres over closed circuit TV.
1960 The Soviet Union charged Gary Powers with espionage. He was
shot down in a U-2 spy plane.
1963 All Cuban-owned assets in the United States were frozen.
1969 The U.S. Patent Office issued a patent for the game "Twister."
1981 The Solar Challenger became the frist solar-powered airplane
to cross the English Channel.
1986 Kurt Waldheim was inaugurated as president of Austria despite
controversy over his alleged ties to Nazi war crimes.
1997 The Mayo Clinic and the U.S. government warned that the diet-
drug combination known as "fen-phen" could cause serious heart and
lung damage.
1997 NATO invited Poland, Hungary, and the Czech Republic to join
the alliance in 1999.
2010 The Solar Impulse completed the first 24-hour flight by a
solar powered plane.
2018 smiled.
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