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Thursday, August 23, 2018, 01:59 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday, August 23
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Today's Bonehead Award:
Pennsylvania men face 1,460 counts each
of sex with animals
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Today, August 23 in
1839 Hong Kong was taken by the British in a war with
China.
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
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Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition
that's troublesome.
--- Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992)
Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)
Human history becomes more and more a race between
education and catastrophe.
--- H. G. Wells (1866 - 1946)
History is the version of past events
that people have decided to agree upon.
--- Napoleon Bonaparte
History is the version of past events
that the winners have decided to agree upon.
--- Dwight D Eisenhower
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The elderly pastor was searching his closet for his collar
before church one Sunday morning. In the back of the
closet, he found a small box containing 3 eggs and 1200 $1
bills. He called his wife into the closet
to ask her about the box and its contents. Embarrassed, she
admitted having hidden the box for their entire 25 years of
marriage. Disappointed and hurt, the pastor asked her,
"WHY?"
The wife replied that she hadn't wanted to hurt his
feelings. He asked her how the box could have hurt his
feelings. She said that every time during their marriage
that he delivered a poor sermon, she had placed an egg in
the box. The pastor felt that 3 poor sermons in 25 years
was certainly nothing to feel bad about, so he asked her
what the $1200 was
for.
She replied, "Each time I got a dozen eggs, I sold them to
the neighbors for $1.
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot
and love him little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and
not try to understand her at all.
______________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
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_____________________________________________________
A swimming instructor at a Los Angeles
university was quizzing a group of students on
Red Cross life saving and water safety
techniques
.
They answered all of her questions easily until
she posed this one:
"Which article of clothing would you remove
last if you fell from a boat or dock fully
clothed?"
Everyone mentioned something different. It
was evident that no one knew the correct
answer, so the instructor helped out.
"The blouse," she said, "because the air gets
under the blouse and acts like a buoy!"
The subsequent uproar ended the class.
___________________________________________________
Reported by the Bausell Sailor
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by
Terry Wallace, 41;
Marc Measnikoff, 34;
and Matthew Brubaker, 32;
Clearfield County,
Pennsylvania
Pennsylvania men face 1,460 counts
of sex with animals
Three Pennsylvania men face a slew of charges that
includes more than 1,400 counts of having sex with animals.
Terry Wallace, 41; Marc Measnikoff, 34; and Matthew
Brubaker, 32; are all facing 1,460 counts of sexual
intercourse with animals, according to the Clearfield
District Attorney's Office. The three have also been
charged with animal cruelty, endangering the welfare of
children and corruption of minors.
State police said in an affidavit that they received
information from a 16-year-old boy living at the residence
where the three men were allegedly having sex with animals,
including dogs, horses, a cow, and goat. The juvenile was
able to describe a specially designed "V" shaped pen that
was used to facilitate the sexual contact, prosecutors
allege.
In the early morning hours of August 18, state police
served a search warrant on the property, and took the three
men into custody.
A search of the property revealed a large amount of
homemade videos, along with recording equipment and
cameras, according to the affidavit. The teen, who police
say was living on the makeshift farm, is now in protective
custody.
District Attorney William Shaw Jr. said in a release Monday
that no evidence suggests that the 16-year-old had been
sexually abused, but the investigation is ongoing "to
determine the extent of mental or physical abuse the
juvenile may have been exposed to."
According to the release, the arrests followed what Shaw
said was one of the most extreme cases of animal abuse that
his office has handled.
Bail has been set at $100,000 for each defendant.
From: Tuck
Re: Not getting subscription
Dear Webby
This is the second week that i'm not getting the Humor
letter. Don't know what's going on, know you are sending
them just not getting them.
Got this one after I replyed last week, but not any since
this one. Whats going on?
Tuck
Dear Tuck
Your subscription is being sent out towards you every day.
Either you or AOL are blocking it.
You will have to talk to AOL support
Or get gmail.
Have FUN
DearWebby
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With the help of a fertility specialist,
a 65 year old woman has a baby. All
her relatives come to visit and meet
the newest member of their family.
When they ask to see the baby, the 65
year old mother says
"not yet."
A little later they ask again to see the baby.
Again the mother says "not yet."
Finally they say, "When can we see the baby?"
And the mother says, "When the baby cries."
They all ask, "Why do we have to wait until the baby
cries?"
The new mother says, "because I forgot where I put it."
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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A man and a woman are driving down the highway
when another car passes them. The woman notices
that the occupants of the other car are young and
obviously in love. The girl is sitting very close to her
boyfriend as they cruise on down the highway.
This causes the woman to think back when she and
her husband were young and in love, and wondering
where the show of affection had disappeared to
over the years.
Finally she says to her husband, "Remember when
we used to be like that young couple? Where did
the love go, honey?"
Her question was met with a few moments of silence.
Then, after glancing at his gnarled hands on the steering
wheel he quietly replied, "I haven't moved."
____________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Keep Razor Blades in Matchbooks
Empty matchbooks can be used to store razor blades. Just
insert the razor blade into the bottom part of the
matchbook.
The strike plate can even be used to sharpen the blade in a
pinch. Mark the matchbook so you know what's in it.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
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 |
Origami is a real art form. I never knew you
could fold one sheet of paper in so many different ways!
|
___________________________________________________
A man was wheeling himself frantically down the hall of
the hospital in his wheelchair, just before his operation.
A nurse stopped him and asked, "What's the matter?"
He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple
operation, don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right.'"
"She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening
about that?"
"She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the doctor!"
___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
Friend: "I suppose you carry a memento of some sort in that
locket of yours?"
Woman: "Yes, it's a lock of my husband's hair."
Friend: "But your husband is still alive."
Woman: "I know, but his hair is gone."
____________________________________________________
Today, August 23 in
1838 The first class graduated from Mount Holyoke Female
Seminary in South Hadley, MA. It was one of the first
colleges for women.
1839 Hong Kong was taken by the British in a war with
China.
1858 "Ten Nights in a Barroom" opened in New York City at
the National Theater. It was a melodrama about the evils of
drinking.
1892 The printed streetcar transfer was patented by John H.
Stedman.
1902 Fannie Merrit Farmer opened her cooking school, Miss
Farmer’s School of Cookery, in Boston, MA.
1904 Hard D. Weed patented the grip-tread tire chain for
cars.
1914 Tsingtao, China, was bombarded as Japan declared war
on Germany in World War I.
1939 Nazi Germany and the Soviet Union signed a non-
aggression treaty.
1944 During World War II, Romanian prime minister Ion
Antonescue was dismissed. Soon after the country would
abandon the Axis and flip to the Allies.
1944 Marseilles was captured by Allied troops during World
War II.
1952 The security pact of the Arab League went into effect.
1959 In the Peanuts comic strip, Sally debuted as an
infant.
1962 The first live TV program was relayed between the U.S.
and Europe through the U.S. Telstar satellite.
1979 Soviet dancer Alexander Godunov defected while the
Bolshoi Ballet was on tour in New York City.
1982 The parliament of Lebanon elected Bashir Bemayel
president. He was assassinated three weeks later.
1987 Robert Jarvik and Marilyn Mach vos Savant were
married. The event was called the "Union of Great Minds"
since Savant had an IQ of 228 and Jarvik was the inventor
of the artificial heart.
1990 President Saddam Hussein appeared on Iraqi state
television with a group of Western detainees that he
referred to as "guests." He told the group that they were
being held "to prevent the scourge of war."
1993 It was confirmed by Los Angeles police that Michael
Jackson was the subject of a criminal investigation.
1996 U.S. President Clinton imposed limits on peddling
cigarettes to children.
1998 Boris Yeltsin dismissed the Russian government again.
1999 Rescuers in Turkey found a young boy that had been
buried in rubble from an earthquake for about a week.
1999 Robert Bogucki was rescued after getting lost in the
Great Sandy Desert of Australia on July 11. During the 43
day ordeal Bogucki lost 44 pounds.
2000 Richard Hatch was revealed as the winning castaway on
CBS' "Survivor." Hatch won $1,000,000 for his stay on the
island of Pulau Tida in the South China Sea.
2018 smiled.
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