Filter for U-Tube spoofs 




Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, September 3

Thank You, Wes!!!

I wonder if Pelousi or Mad Maxine will get as many Democrats 
at their funeral as traitor McCain did?

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Florida couple built drive-thru window 
at mobile home to sell heroin and fentanyl

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Today, September 3 in
1939 British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain, in a radio
 broadcast, announced that Britain and France had declared 
 war on Germany and started WWII. 
 Germany had invaded Poland on September 1. 
More of today in history at HIstory
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If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
We all have strength enough to endure the misfortunes of others. --- Francois de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680) Let him that would move the world, first move himself." --- Socrates ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Two little boys were looking for a way to cool off on a hot summer day. Their dad wouldn't let them play in the sprinkler because he was mowing the lawn, so the boys set out to find a way to get wet and cool without getting into trouble. They sat on the curb brainstorming the solution, when suddenly one of them jumped up and declared, "I know! Lets get baptized!" Well, both boys had seen enough to know that you can get wet at a baptism, so they trotted on down to the church on the corner and told the pastor they wanted to get baptized. The irritated pastor finally relented after about 10 minutes of begging, and he finally dragged the boys to the men's room and dunked them both head first into the toilet, then sent them on their way. The boys sat on the curb, slightly disappointed with the whole adventure, when one of them asked the other, "Hey, what religion are we now?" "I don't know," replied the other. "If we were Baptists, he would have filled up the big tub and dunked our whole body like he did for Uncle Jim, and if we were Catholic, he would have poured it on our heads from a pitcher..." They sat and thought about it for a while longer when the first one said in a small voice, "Since he stuck our head in the toilet, I think that it means that we're 'pisscapalian." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life," her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple. The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________ This Lady needed her bedroom painted. She called a painter to paint it for her. He came and painted it a beautiful color. She was so proud of it. That night her husband came home, and she said, "Look honey, what a beautiful room." The husband, being tired, leaned his hand against the wall and told her how pretty it was, but the paint, still being wet, smeared a little. The lady was rather upset that he had smeared the wall. The next day, the painter comes over to get paid, and the lady says, "Oh, you must come in and see where my husband put his hand last night." The painter replied, "Sorry, I can't do that, lady, but I will split a beer with you." ___________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by William Parrish Jr. ,32, McKenzee Dobbs, 20, Ocala, Florida Florida couple built drive-thru window at mobile home to sell heroin and fentanyl A Florida couple was arrested last week after they were caught allegedly selling drugs out of a drive-thru window they constructed out of the side of their mobile home. William Parrish Jr. and McKenzee Dobbs of Ocala, Florida, were arrested on August 23 after investigators raided their mobile home following reports of four drug overdoses in the area, WFTV reported. Ocala Police said the couple had turned a kitchen window into a drive-thru so customers would not have to constantly enter and exit their home, potentially drawing unwanted attention, WFTV reported. The house had signs directing people where to drive and indicated whether it was open or closed, police said. “We were seeing some overdose incidents that were happening in this particular area, specifically at this particular location,” said Ocala Police Capt. Steven Cuppy. “There [were] some heroin sales that were going on there. Subsequently, through the investigation, we were able to determine that product was laced with fentanyl.” Parrish, 32, was charged with driving under the influence, keeping a dwelling used to sell drugs, possession of drugs with intent to sell and resisting arrest without violence, according to Marion County Sheriff’s Office inmate records. Dobbs, 20, has been charged with keeping a dwelling used to sell drugs, possession of drugs with intent to sell, possession of fentanyl and possession of fentanyl with intent to sell, court records show. William Parrish Sr. told WFTV his son had been “trying to get himself straightened out” and maintained reports of overdoses were a “lie.” Ocala is located inland, about 66 miles west of Daytona Beach.
From: Dani Re: Filter for U-Tube spoofs Dear Webby, How do I filter out crap like this? I KNOW I am not on any video, and since the barbecue blew up this spring, I am not even on any photo! I am actually contemplating becoming a muslim until my hair grows back. :( In addition to that, MailWasher tells me that it is linking to somewhere else. Here is a typical example: === this i not good. If this video gets to her husband your both dead. see for yourself... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQrTPGpMziX [links to 74.132.117.201/] === I am sure you get them too. How do you filter them? Dani Dear Dani I had to root around the restore bin to find an example. The same 7BIT filter that I described before, also gets this type of virus generated spam. IF the entire header contains 7BIT, then delete, without warning. They fly right by, straight to hell, unseen by anybody, except when you send me to check the restore bin. Have FUN DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A customer at Greenbaum's Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and intelligence. "Tell me, Greenbaum, what makes you so smart?" "I wouldn't share my secret with just anyone," Greenbaum replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won't hear. "But since you're a good and faithful customer, I'll let you in on it. Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you'll be positively brilliant." "You sell them here?" the customer asks. "Only $4 apiece," says Morris. The customer buys three. A week later, he's back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn't any smarter. "You didn't eat enough, " says Greenbaum. The customer goes home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he's back and this time he's really angry. "Hey, Greenbaum," he says, "You're selling me fish heads for $4 apiece when I just found out I can buy the whole fish for $2. You're ripping me off!" "You see?" says Morris. "You're smarter already."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A farmer lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time went by, the traffic slowly built up at an alarming rate. The traffic was so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day. So one day he called the sheriff's office and said, "You've got to do something about all of these people driving so fast and killing all of my chickens." "What do you want me to do?" asked the sheriff. "I don't care, just do something about those drivers." So the next day he had the county go out and put up a sign that said: SLOW: SCHOOL CROSSING. Three days later the farmer called the sheriff and said, "You've got to do something about these drivers. The 'school crossing sign seems to make them go faster." So, again, the sheriff sends out the county and they put up a new sign: SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY. And that really sped them up. So the farmer called and called and called everyday for three weeks. Finally, he asked the sheriff, "Your signs are doing no good. Is it all right for me to put up my own sign?" The sheriff told him, "Sure thing, put up your own sign." He was going to let the farmer do just about anything in order to have him stop calling. Well, the sheriff got no more calls from the farmer. Three weeks after the farmers last call, the sheriff decided to call him. "How's the problem with those drivers. Did you put up your sign?" "Oh, I sure did. And not one chicken has been killed since then. I've got to go. I'm very busy." And he hung up the phone. The sheriff thought to himself, "I'd better go to that farmer's house and look at that sign... There might be something there that WE could use to slow down drivers..." So the sheriff drove out to the farmer's house, and he saw the sign. It was a whole sheet of plywood. And written in large yellow letters on bright red background were the words: SLOW: NUDIST COLONY. ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Applying Stain To Wood Sand wood and remove any dust before staining. A clean, used pair pantyhose works well for applying stain to wood. The nylon provides an even coat and doesn't leave behind any lint. Wear rubber gloves and old clothes. It usually takes at least two coats to get a uniform look. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
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Be aware of this plant, it's very dangerous.
___________________________________________________ For his wife's birthday party, a doctor ordered a cake with this inscription: "You are not getting older. You are just getting better." Asked how he wanted the message arranged, he said, "Just put 'You are not getting older' at the top and 'You are just getting better' at the bottom." It wasn't until the good doctor was ready to serve the cake that he discovered that the cake read: "YOU ARE NOT GETTING OLDER AT THE TOP. YOU ARE JUST GETTING BETTER AT THE BOTTOM." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Thanks to Sandie for this update from Florida IT'S SO HOT and DRY IN FLORIDA. .... the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground .....the trees are whistling for the dogs. .....the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance. .... hot water now comes out of both taps. .....you can make sun tea instantly. .....you learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron. .....the temperature drops below 95 F (35 C) and you feel the icy breeze. .....you discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car. .....you discover that you can get sunburned through your car window. .....you actually burn your hand opening the car door. .....you break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. .....your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?" .....you realize that asphalt has a liquid state. .....the potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter. (in the garden) .....the cows are giving evaporated milk. .....people are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs. (in the country) .....you can't fry eggs on the tank of your bike, if they got hard boiled in the carton on the way across the parking lot. .....the hot air from the Algorians provides a welcome cooling breeze. ____________________________________________________

Today, September 3 in
1189 England's King Richard I was crowned in Westminster. 

1783 The Revolutionary War between the U.S. and Great
Britain ended with the Treaty of Paris. 

1833 The first successful penny newspaper in the U.S., "The
New York Sun," was launched by Benjamin H. Day. 

1935 Sir Malcolm Campbell became the first person to drive
an automobile over 300 miles an hour. He reached 304.331 MPH
on the Bonneville Salt Flats in Utah. 

1939 British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain, in a radio
broadcast, announced that Britain and France had declared
war on Germany and started WWII. 
Germany had invaded Poland on September 1. 

1943 After Italy had switched sides, Italy was invaded by
the Allied forces during World War II. 

1954 "The Lone Ranger" was heard on radio for the final time
after 2,956 episodes over a period of 21 years. 

1967 Nguyen Van Thieu was elected president of South Vietnam
under a new constitution. 

1967 In Sweden, motorists stopped driving on the left side
of the road and began driving on the right side. 

1976 The U.S. spacecraft Viking 2 landed on Mars. The
unmanned spacecraft took the first close-up, color photos of
the planet's surface. 

1981 Egypt arrested more than 1,500 opponents of the
government. 

1986 Peat Marwick International and Klynveld Main Goerdeler
of the Netherlands agreed to merge and form the world’s
largest accounting firm. 

1989 The U.S. began shipping military aircraft and weapons,
worth $65 million, to Columbia in its fight against drug
lords. 

1994 Russia and China announced that they would no longer be
targeting nuclear missiles or using force against each
other. 

1999 Mario Lemieux's ownership group officially took over
the National Hockey League's Pittsburgh Penguins. Lemieux
became the first player in the modern era of sports to buy
the team he had once played for. 

2013 Hunters in Mississippi caught a 727-pound alligator. 

2018  smiled.
https://youtu.be/18kmeHF_WX0


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