Russian ISP 

Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday, September 13

Have FUN!

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Woman stabbed naked boyfriend 
in bed when he said no to sex

Today, September 13 in
1959 The Soviet Union's Luna 2 became the first space probe 
to reach the moon. It was launched the day before.
More of today in history at HIstory
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Nobody believes the official spokesman... but everybody trusts an unidentified source. --- Ron Nesen Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it. --- Jane Wagner "ABC News says Americans spend $300 billion every year on games of chance, and that doesn't even include weddings and elections." --- Argus Hamilton ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The poor country pastor was livid when he confronted his wife with the receipt for a $250 dress she had bought. "How could you do this!" he exclaimed. "I don't know," she wailed, "I was standing in the store looking at the dress. Then I found myself trying it on. It was like the Devil was whispering to me, 'Gee, you look great in that dress. You should buy it.'" "Well," the pastor persisted, "You know how to deal with him! Just tell him, "Get behind me, Satan!" "I did," replied his wife, "but then he said "It looks great from back here, too" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A widow recently married a widower. Soon after the marriage she was accosted by a friend who laughingly remarked - "I suppose, like all men who have been married before, your husband sometimes talks about his first wife?" "Oh, not any more, he doesn't," the other replied. "What stopped him?" "I started talking about my next husband." ______________________________________________________ Mandarin Duck _____________________________________________________
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_____________________________________________________ A scientist found, to his great surprise, that he was lactose intolerant (unable to digest milk sugar). At dinner that night with his two young daughters (age 9 and 4 years), he mentioned that he had found out that he was lactose intolerant and tried to explain to them what that meant. A couple of months later, he took the kids to a local restaurant for a quick breakfast before shopping. The place was very busy, but the quality of the food and service were obviously not up to par. When they finally got their breakfast, his youngest daughter took a look at her father's omelet and burnt toast and declared very loudly to the waitress "My Daddy can't eat that toast, he is charcoal intolerant." ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Vicky Ludlow, 37, Worcestershire, England Woman stabbed naked boyfriend in bed when he said no to sex A woman stabbed her boyfriend with a steak knife as they lay naked together in bed because he had turned her down for sex, a court heard. Vicky Ludlow, 37, left her boyfriend with a punctured lung in the stabbing at his flat in Fenton, Stoke-on- Trent. In the early hours of April 26, Ludlow who was drunk told her boyfriend: 'I'm going to stab you', Stoke-on-Trent Crown Court was told. The man managed to escape the house and lock Ludlow inside, but fell down the stairs where he was found naked by a neighbour with 'blood everywhere'. She has now been jailed for six years after admitting the attack. Prosecutor Glyn Samuel said the victim's injury 'felt like a punch because it made a thud'. 'It was only when the knife was withdrawn as it had a serrated edge that he realised what it was,' the prosecutor said. 'She had a steak knife in her hand. He pinned her down. He managed to twist her arm so the knife stabbed in the mattress. He fled. He locked her in the flat and called 999. He felt dizzy and fell down the stairs. His neighbour heard a commotion caused by the defendant banging on the inside of the door. She found the victim covered in blood. Ludlow, from Worcestershire, pleaded guilty to wounding with intent to cause grievous bodily harm.
From: Bill Re: Russian ISP Dear Webby, I have six computers, two of which are connected to the internet. I have had the same ISP for over ten years. I had a question, and called my ISP. He looked up my internet connection, and (sounding somewhat confused), he informed me that I was no longer connected to his company. He informed me that my ISP is in Russia. He then asked me if I would like to be connected to his company, since I have been paying them to be my ISP for the past ten years. I replied that being connected to his company rather than some ISP in Russia would be nice. I could tell no difference between the ISP in Russia and the local ISP. Just thought you might be interested. Thank you, Bill Dear Bill Next, I suppose, Mueller will investigate you for not voting for Broom Hilda. Sounds like bullshit to me. Are you using dial-up or DSL or cable or fibre? You can easily check your connection. In Windows, hit START, type cmd ENTER You will get DOS. Yes, you still have DOS underneath all the rigmarole. Type tracert ENTER DOS will trace your way to You can, of course, trace to any domain you want, including the one of your ISP. Here I get: Microsoft Windows [Version 6.1.7601] Copyright (c) 2009 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved. C:\Users\Helmut>tracert Tracing route to [] over a maximum of 30 hops: 1 <1 ms <1 ms <1 ms 2 5 ms 15 ms 5 ms 3 54 ms 54 ms 54 ms [] 4 55 ms 55 ms 55 ms [] 5 57 ms 56 ms 56 ms [] 6 * * * Request timed out. 7 149 ms 156 ms 147 ms [] 8 55 ms 55 ms 55 ms [] Trace complete. You should get something similar The potholes at hop #6 and the long time on #7 indicate that some major router, looks like Chicago, is down and the Internet re-routs around the problem via Montreal, but in the end gets to in 55 Milliseconds. There are sites, that show you a map of your trace route. They are often very busy and very slow. will even show you a satellite shot of where that IP number is located. However, even just the tracert will give you an idea where you are connected. If you were dialing to a Russian ISP, your phone bill would be astronomical. I would guess that whoever you talked to was a clueless politician, and was just bullshitting you. If you want to see your own IP number, browse to Then you can send that IP number to me, and I will trace to it. Have FUN DearWebby

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One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled. "I can't dear," she said. 'I have to sleep in Daddy's room." The little boy replied with a shaking voice, "The big sissy."
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An old guy went to his doctor and said, "Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up." "That's not senility," replied the doctor. "Senility is when you forget to zip down." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from How Many Meals When buying meat, calculate how many meals you think you can get out of the package and divide that by how much it costs. Try to get as many meals out of each meat purchase as possible. Tip provided by
Lets take a trip to St. Petersburg, Russia and see two palaces.
___________________________________________________ A priest, a pastor, and a rabbi are walking down the street on a hot day and are quite thirsty. They pass a busy bar and want to go in and get a drink but have no money. But the priest comes up with an idea that he thinks might work, so he goes in alone, telling to others that if his idea works they can all get free drinks. He orders his drink, and when he's finished with it, the bartender gives him his tab. The priest says, "But son,... I already paid for the drink!" The bartender says, "I'm terribly sorry father but it's really busy in here and I must have forgotten." The priest goes out and tells the pastor and the rabbi what happened, so the pastor goes in next. The pastor orders his drink and then informs the bartender that he already had paid when the bartender asks him for the money. Again the bartender apologizes. Finally the rabbi goes in and orders his drink. Again the bartender gives him the tab and the rabbi tells him, "Son, I paid you when I ordered the drink." "I'm terribly sorry rabbi," says the bartender, "I don't know what's wrong with me, but your the third man of the cloth that I've done this to." "I'm sorry son," says the rabbi, "but I'm in a terrible hurry,... Just give me my change for the $20 I gave you, and I'll be on my way!" ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A loaded minivan pulled in to the only remaining campsite. Four children leapt from the vehicle and began feverishly unloading gear and setting up the tent. The boys rushed to gather firewood, while the girls and their mother set up the camp stove and cooking utensils. A nearby camper marveled to the youngsters' father, "That, sir, is some display of teamwork." The father replied, "I have a system; no one goes to the bathroom until the camp is set up." ____________________________________________________

Today, September 13 in
1759 The French were defeated by the British on the Plains of
Abraham in the final French and Indian War. 

1789 The United States Government took out its first loan. 

1847 U.S. forces took the hill Chapultepec during the Mexican-
American War. 

1898 Hannibal Williston Goodwin patented celluloid photographic
film, which is used to make movies. 

1922 In El Azizia, Libya, the highest shade temperature was
recorded at 136.4 degrees Fahrenheit. 

1935 Aviator Howard Hughes, Jr., of Houston, set a new airspeed
record of 352 mph with his H-1 airplane (Winged Bullet). 

1943 Chiang Kai-shek became the president of China. 

1959 The Soviet Union's Luna 2 became the first space probe to
reach the moon. It was launched the day before. 

1960 The U.S. Federal Communications Commission banned payola. 

1971 In New York, National Guardsmen stormed the Attica
Correctional Facility and put an end to the four-day revolt. A
total of 43 people were killed in the final assault. A
committee was organized to investigate the riot on September
30, 1971. 

1971 The World Hockey Association was formed. 

1977 The first American diesel automobiles were introduced by
General Motors. Mercedes had made Diesel cars for decades, but
not in the US.

1981 U.S. Secretary of State Alexander M. Haig said the U.S.
had physical evidence that Russia and its allies used poisonous
biological weapons in Laos, Cambodia and Afghanistan. 

1988 Forecasters reported that Hurricane Gilbert's barometric
pressure measured 26.13. It was the strongest hurricane ever
recorded in the Western Hemisphere. 

1993 Israel and Palestine signed their first major agreement.
Palestine was granted limited self-government in the Gaza Strip
and in Jericho. 

2001 U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell named Osama bin Laden
as the prime suspect in the terror attacks on the United States
on September 11, 2001. Limited commercial flights resumed in
the U.S. for the first time in two days. 

2018  smiled.

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