Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday, October 6

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Illinois man arrested for paying court fines 
using stolen credit card info

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Today, October 6 in
1848 The steamboat SS California left New York Harbor for San
Francisco via Cape Horn. The steamboat service arrived on
February 28, 1849. The trip took 4 months and 21 days. 
More of today in history at HIstory
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If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!



The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you
can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying
virtues.
--- Elizabeth Taylor (1932 - 2017)
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>From Ann
Co-workers sympathized as my mother complained that 
her back was really sore from moving furniture. 
"Why don't you wait till your husband gets home?" someone 
asked. 

"I could," my mother told the group," but the couch is easier 
to move when he's not on it."

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If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

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Kyle and Justin were sitting down to eat their supper
with the baby sitter when 6 year old Kyle
saw the baby sitter sit down in his daddy's seat.

"You can't sit in Daddy's seat!" Kyle exclaimed.

"Daddy's not home," the baby sitter replied, matter-of-factly.
"Since I'm responsible for you while he's gone,
I can sit here. Today I'm the boss."

Justin, the 4 year old, quickly piped up,
"If you're the boss, you have to sit over there in Mommy's 
chair!"

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>From Peter
A few years ago I went to visit my brother who was stationed
in Germany. I assumed that enough Germans would speak English
so that I could at least get around. But I found that many
people spoke only their native tongue - including the ticket
inspector on the train. He punched my ticket, then chatted
cordially for a bit, making gestures like a windmill. I just
nodded from time to time to show him that I was interested.

When he had gone, an American woman soldier in the
compartment leaned forward and asked if I spoke German.

"No," I confessed.

"Then that explains," she said, "why you didn't bat an eyelid
when he told you that you were on the wrong train, going in
the wrong direction, and that there was no scheduled stop
for another hour."

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If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

Thanks for your votes!

___________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

Brenton Thurman, 28,
Naperville,
Illinois

Illinois man arrested for paying court 
fines using stolen credit card info

Naperville man accused of using stolen credit card information to
pay his court fines and those of several other people has been
arrested on a felony identity theft charge, the DuPage County
State’s Attorney’s Office said.

Brenton Thurman, 28, of the 0 to 100 block of Olesen Drive, made
multiple payments to the DuPage County Clerk’s Office in March
using stolen credit card and bank information, a state’s
attorney’s office news release said. The payments added up to
about $6,000, the release said.

Thurman also used the stolen information to pay the fines and
fees of other people, keeping the cash they’d given him to pay
their court debts, the release said. The clerk’s office
discovered the fraud and notified the state’s attorney’s office.

DuPage County Judge Joshua Dieden set Thurman’s bond at $100,000,
and required that Thurman show that any money used for bail was
not illegally obtained, the release said.

“The behavior alleged against Mr. Thurman is outrageous and, if
proven guilty, will not go unpunished,” State’s Attorney Robert
Berlin said in the release. “In addition to allegedly victimizing
several individuals, Mr. Thurman allegedly attempted to defraud
our system of justice all while lining his pockets at the expense
of others.”


From: Bill
Re: Email Substitute

Dear Webby,
A lady asked "I want a toolbar so I can forward e-mail to
without having to open outlook express. I am not to thrill
with google toolbar."
Any suggestions or remedies?
Thanks,
Bill

Dear Bill
I would recommend a steady diet of Smarties and
competent supervision. To forward email without
opening her email program she would have to delve
deeper into spiritology than I want to venture.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Thanks to Sandie for this story:
A woman, her husband and their three rambunctious young
sons were in their car waiting at a traffic light. The woman
glanced over at the car next to them and noticed a blissfully
happy mother with her baby daughter.

Looking at her husband, she said, "As soon as I lose my
weight from the last baby, I want to try for a daughter."
The husband reached up to the dash, grabbed an open
box of snacks and said, "Here. Have some cookies."



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




Thanks to JRC for this story:

A Doctor in Newfoundland wanted to get off work and go
hunting, so he approached his assistant "Garge, I am going
hunting tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want
you to take care of the clinic and take care of all me patients".

  "Yes, sir!" answers Garge. The doctor goes hunting and
returns the following day and asks:

"So,Garge, How was your day?"
  Garge told him that he took care of three patients.
"The first one had a headache so I gave him TYLENOL."

"Bravo Mate, and the second one?" asks the doctor.
  "The second one had stomach burning and I gave him
MAALOX, sir" says Garge.

"Bravo, bravo!
  You're good at this and what about the third one?" asks
the doctor.

  "Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opens and
a woman enters. Like a flame, she undresses herself,
taking off everything including her bra and her panties
and lies down on the table, spreading her legs and shouts:
'HELP ME! For five years I have not seen any man!'"

"Tunderin' lard Jaysus, Garge, what did you do?" asks the doctor.

  "I put drops in her eyes. I don't remember what happened after
that."

___________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Clutter Control: 5 Minute Clean Up
Have a family ritual: before anyone goes to bed, they clean 
up their belongings in the living and dining room. It only
takes a few minutes. Items that sit out for too long
become a part of the landscape. Daily maintenance
is the key to clutter control.

Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com

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10 Most Beautiful Castles in Switzerland

___________________________________________________

There was this man who, many years ago, worked for a large
business. That was his lifetime employment, but he wasn't
happy there. He wanted to go into business for himself.
He saved his money and finally had enough so that he
could quit and start his own business.

About two years later, I was on vacation and was going
through the town where his business was located, so I
stopped by for a visit.

"Hey, John! I heard that the first year is the hardest for a
new business."
"Yeah, the first year was pretty rough, but we are doing
pretty good now. In fact, I'm getting to where I only have
to work half a day."

"Wow, that's pretty nice. Maybe I should think about going
into business for myself."

"Yeah, and the nicest part of it is that it doesn't matter
which twelve hours you work!"

___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.




Today October 6 in
1683 The first Mennonites arrived in America aboard the Concord.
The German and Dutch families settled in an area that is now a
neighborhood in Philadelphia, PA. 

1848 The steamboat SS California left New York Harbor for San
Francisco via Cape Horn. The steamboat service arrived on
February 28, 1849. The trip took 4 months and 21 days. 

1863 The first Turkish bath was opened in Brooklyn, NY, by Dr.
Charles Shepard. 

1866 The Reno Brothers pulled the first train robbery in America
near Seymour, IN. The got away with $10,000. 

1880 The National League kicked the Cincinnati Reds out for
selling beer. 

1889 In Paris, the Moulin Rouge opened its doors to the public
for the first time. 

1889 The Kinescope was exhibited by Thomas Edison. He had
patented the moving picture machine in 1887. 

1890 The Mormon Church was forced to outlaw polygamy. 

1928 War-torn China was reunited under the Nationalist leader
Chiang Kai-Shek. 

1939 Adolf Hitler denied any intention to wage war against
Britain and France in an address to Reichstag. 

1949 U.S. president Harry Truman signed the Mutual Defense
Assistance Act. The act provided $1.3 billion in the form of
military aid to NATO countries. 

1954 E.L. Lyon became the first male nurse for the U.S. Army. 

1961 U.S. president John F. Kennedy advised American families to
build or buy bomb shelters to protect them in the event of a
nuclear exchange with the Soviet Union. 

1973 Egypt and Syria attacked Israel in an attempt to win back
territory that had been lost in the third Arab-Israel war.
Support for Israel led to a devastating oil embargo against many
nations including the U.S. and Great Britain on October 17, 1973.
The war lasted 2 weeks. 

1979 Pope John Paul II became the first pontiff to visit the
White House. 

1991 Elizabeth Taylor married Larry Fortensky. The ceremony was
held at Michael Jackson's estate near Los Angeles, CA. It was
Taylor's 8th marriage and Fortensky's 3rd. 

2018  smiled.





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