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Today's Bonehead Award: 

Springfield man arrested after posting 
Facebook video about how to remove 
an ankle monitor

Today, October 10 in
1973 Fiji became independent after of nearly a 
century of British rule. 
More of today in history at History
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Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half the time. --- E. B. White (1899 - 1985) Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish. --- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) ______________________________________________________ >From Myrna Men are good for only one thing! Upset over a newlywed squabble with my husband, I went to my mother to complain. Trying to console me, my dad said that men are not all like this all the time. "Nonsense," I said. "Men are good for only one thing!" "Yes," my mother interjected, "but how often do you have to parallel park?" ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ "Doctor!" said the woman as she loudly bounced into the room, "I want you to tell me very frankly what's wrong with me." He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you." "First, you need to lose at least twenty pounds. Second, you should use about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist - the doctor's office is on the next floor...." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. The bus seats are uncomfortable. The food is terrible. It´s too hot. It´s too cold. The accommodations are awful. The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. "Good luck will be followin´ ya all your days if you kiss the Blarney Stone," the guide said. "Unfortunately, it´s being cleaned today and so no one will be able to kiss it. Perhaps we can come back tomorrow." "We can´t be here tomorrow," the nasty woman shouted. "We have some other boring tour to go on. So I guess we can´t kiss the stupid stone." "Well now," the guide said, "it is said that if you kiss someone who has kissed the stone, you´ll have the same good fortune." "And I suppose you´ve kissed the stone," the woman scoffed. "No, ma´am," the frustrated guide said, "but I´ve sat on it!!!" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
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___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Dustin W. Burns, 33, Springfield, MO Springfield man arrested after posting Facebook video about how to remove an ankle monitor A Springfield man is in jail after authorities say he filmed himself using a butter knife and a screwdriver to remove an ankle monitor — then posted the video to Facebook. The July video referenced by investigators is still posted on what appears to be the Facebook page of Dustin W. Burns, 33. Court records show Burns pleaded guilty to violating a restraining order earlier this year and was placed on probation. "This is how you take an ankle bracelet off," says a voice in the video, "without breaking the circuit." A man in the video can be seen with his pants leg rolled up. He sticks the butter knife in and out of the device, before grabbing a utility tool to unscrew part of it. The man advises viewers to remove the ankle monitor without damaging it, thus avoiding thousands of dollars in fines. The video ends with the man fully removing the bracelet and holding it up to the camera. Authorities apparently believe this man is Burns. In subsequent posts, the Facebook account references trips to Utah, Boise, Idaho and Oregon. In August, the Facebook account posted a video of a man who looks like Burns walking through what appears to be a large marijuana farm with the caption: "Dream come true." Court records show several probation violations were filed this summer against Burns and a warrant for his arrest was issued. Online jail records show Burns has been in the Greene County Jail since Aug. 28. Burns was charged this week with tampering with electronic monitoring equipment, a felony, court records say.
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At the outpatient surgery center where I work, the anesthesiologist often chatted with patients before their operations to help them relax. One day he thought he recognized a woman as a co-worker at the VA hospital where he had trained. When the patient confirmed that his hunch was correct, he said, "So, tell me, is the food still as bad there as it used to be?" "Well," she replied, "I'm still cooking it."
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Just before their first long deployment two Navy buddies were talking about the stress of leaving their families. A senior officer, a veteran of many deployments, overheard the conversation and offered the following advice: "You must be sensitive to your wives' emotional needs," he said. "Never, ever, whistle while you pack!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Donate Old Magazines Give your old magazines to hospitals, nursing homes, senior centers, schools or clinics. Schools need magazines for research and for children to cut pictures out of. Anywhere there is a waiting room there are people hoping for something to read. Tip provided by ____________________________________________________
The brief musical career of Norman Bates, aka Anthony Perkins.
___________________________________________________ The new bride had spent two hours preparing her first break- fast. She sat down at the table, eagerly watching as her husband slowly savored each forkful. "How was it, Honey?" she asked when he'd finished. "Well," he began thoughtfully, wiping his lips, "you probably could have beaten the eggshells a little longer. But on the whole, it was a good start." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Our neighbor used the word hypochondriac to describe the phase her teen-age daughter was going though. One day the girl was convinced that the pain on her left side was appendicitis. Her mother explained that the appendix is on the right. "So that's why it hurts to much," her daughter said. "My appendix is on the wrong side."

Today October 10 in
1845 The United States Naval Academy opened in Annapolis, MD. 

1865 The billiard ball was patented by John Wesley Hyatt. 

1886 The tuxedo dinner jacket made its U.S. debut in New York

1887 Thomas Edison organized the Edison Phonograph Company. 

1911 China's Manchu dynasty was overthrown by revolutionaries
under Sun Yat-sen. 

1913 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson triggered the explosion of the
Gamboa Dike that finished the construction of the Panama Canal. 

1933 Dreft, the first synthetic detergent, went on sale. 

1938 Nazi Germany completed its annexation of Czechoslovakia's

1943 Chaing Kai-shek took the oath of office as the president of

1957 U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower apologized to Komla
Agbeli Gbdemah, the finance minister of Ghana, after the official
had been refused service in a Dover, DE, restaurant. 

1959 Pan American World Airways announced the beginning of the
first global airline service. 

1963 A dam burst in Italy killing 3,000 people. 

1965 The Red Baron made his first appearance in the "Peanuts"
comic strip. 

1973 Fiji became independent after of nearly a century of British

1984 The U.S. Congress passed the 2nd Boland Amendment which
outlawed solicitation of 3rd-party countries to support the
Contras. The amendment barred the use of funds available to CIA,
defense, or intelligence agencies for "supporting, directly or
indirectly, military or paramilitary operations in Nicaragua by
any nation, group, organization or individual." 

1987 Tom McClean finished rowing across the Atlantic Ocean. It
set the record at 54 days and 18 hours. 

1991 The United States cut all foreign aid to Haiti in reaction
to a military coup that forced President Jean-Claude Aristide
into exile. 

1994 Lt. Gen. Raoul Cedras resigned as Haiti's commander-in-chief
of the army and pledged to leave the country. 

1994 Iraq announced it was withdrawing its forces from the
Kuwaiti border. No signs of a pullback were observed. 

2003 Rush Limbaugh announced that he was addicted to painkillers
and that he was going to check into a rehab center. 

2010 In China, Canton Tower opened to the public. 

2018  smiled.

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