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Today's Bonehead Award: 

Wyandotte police arrest man with 
380 suspensions, 45 active warrants
for his arrest

Today, November 1 in
1512 Michelangelo's paintings on the ceiling of the Sistine
Chapel were first exhibited to the public. The original had many
nude figures, which were painted over in the 1960s.
 More of today in history at History
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It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish. --- Aeschylus (525 BC - 456 BC) To predict the behavior of ordinary people in advance, you only have to assume that they will always try to escape a disagreeable situation with the smallest possible expenditure of intelligence. --- Friedrich Nietzsche There's always somebody who is paid too much, and taxed too little - and it's always somebody else. --- Cullen Hightower Empty pockets never held anyone back. Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that. --- Norman Vincent Peale ______________________________________________________ Nurse: "Doctor, Doctor the man you've just treated collapsed on the front step what should I do?" Doctor: "Turn him around so it looks like he was just arriving!" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Wendy Having already downed a few power drinks, she turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eyes and says, "Listen here, good looking. I will screw anybody, anytime, anywhere." His eyes now wide with interest, he responds, "No kidding... I'm in Government too. Are you Federal, or State? _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A guy goes to the doctor due to a hangnail. He walks in, tells the nurse what is wrong and she immediately tells him: "Go into the cubicle on the left and take off all your clothes. The doctor will be with you shortly." Wondering why this problem would require one to undress, he nontheless complies. After a few minutes, he becomes aware someone is in the cubicle next to his, separated only by a curtain. He peeks and there is another guy standing there undressed. He attracts the man's attention, then asks "Why do you suppose that nurse told me to take off all my clothes? I only have a hangnail?" The other man replied, "No idea, I'm just the UPS man trying to deliver a package." ______________________________________________________ Tree Kangaroos _____________________________________________________
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___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Gerald Rashad Grant, 40, Wyandotte, Michigan Wyandotte police arrest man with 380 suspensions, 45 active warrants for his arrest A man who allegedly has been driving on a suspended license since 1999 has been arrested yet again. On Feb. 1, Wyandotte police pulled over the man after noticing a heavily cracked windshield on the driverís side of his vehicle. Thatís when they learned he was ineligible to drive due to over 380 current suspensions, and he had 45 active warrants for his arrest. Once again, it was not the manís poor driving that caused him to get pulled over, but an issue with his vehicle. At approximately 2:30 a.m. Oct. 16, an officer was on Biddle Avenue when he noticed the vehicle in front of him had a burnt- out license plate lamp. A police report states the officer immediately recognized Gerald Rashad Grant, a 40-year-old Detroit resident, from prior arrests. The officer asked him for his driverís license, registration and proof of insurance. ďGrant handed me a Michigan identification card and was unable to provide any of the other requested documents,Ē the officer wrote in his report. ďGrant then stated that his driverís license was suspended. Grant stated ĎI just did six months for the last time you got me.íĒ According to police records, Grantís number of suspensions had gone done from when he was pulled over in February, when he had 380. Currently his driverís license is ineligible due to over 340 current suspensions. Records also indicate his driverís license has been expired since Feb. 11, 1999, and there were 41 warrants for his arrest. According to Deputy Police Chief Archie Hamilton, in his entire police career he had only come across a handful of drivers who had more than 100 suspensions, but prior to Grant had never seen anyone with over 300. Hamilton said Grant was arraigned and received a $15,000/10 percent bond. Heís due back in 27th District Court Oct. 25 for a pretrial hearing. From: Bob Re: Alternatives to Norton Dear Webby. what do you recommend instead of Norton??? I have norton along with my DSL from AT&T bob Dear Bob I use Malwarebytes. That takes care of everything except spam. To control spam I use MailWasherM/a>. Have FUN! DearWebby

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In MY day: Second Runner-Up: In my day, we couldn't afford shoes, so we went barefoot. In winter, we had to wrap our feet with barbed wire for traction. First Runner-Up: In my day, we didn't have MTV or in-line skates, or any of that stuff. No, it was 45s and regular old metal-wheeled roller skates, and the 45s always skipped, so to get them to play right you'd weigh the needle down with something like quarters, which we never had because our allowances were way too small, so we'd use our skate keys instead and end up forgetting they were taped to the record player arm so that we couldn't adjust our skates, which didn't really matter because those crummy metal wheels would kill you if you hit a pebble anyway, and in those days roads had real pebbles on them, not like today. And the winner: In my day, we didn't have rocks. We had to go down to the creek and wash our clothes by beating them with our heads. Honorable Mentions: In my day, we didn't have fancy health-food restaurants. Every day we ate lots of easily recognizable animal parts, along with potatoes. In my day, we didn't have hand-held calculators. We had to do addition on our fingers. To subtract, we had to have some fingers amputated. In my day, we didn't get that disembodied, slightly ticked- off voice saying 'Doors closing.' We got on the train, the doors closed, and if your hand was sticking out, it scraped along the tunnel all the way to the next station and it was a bloody stump at the end. But the base fare was only a dollar. In my day, we didn't have water. We had to smash together our own hydrogen and oxygen atoms. Kids today think the world revolves around them. In my day, the sun revolved around the world, and the world was perched on the back of a giant tortoise. Back in my day, they hadn't invented electricity. We had to watch television by candlelight. Send me YOUR "In MY day" story!
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Kathy and Suzy are having a conversation during there lunch break. Kathy asks, "So, Suzy, how's your sex life these days?" Suzy replies, "Oh, you know. It's the usual, Social Security kind." "Social Security?" Kathy asked quizzically. "Yeah, you get a little each month, but it's not enough to live on." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Mattresses Have Fragile Handles Don't move a mattress by picking it up by the handles on either side. They are made to shift the mattress from side to side and tend to break when used to move the whole mattress. Press both hands together on either side to get a grip on it. Tip provided by ____________________________________________________
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___________________________________________________ After listening to the elderly hooker plead her case, Judge Hanson called a brief recess and retired to his chambers. En route, he bumped into Judge Forbes. "Say," said Hanson, "what would you give a sixty-three year-old hooker?" "Oh gosh," replied Forbes, "five or six bucks tops." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Thanks to Ann for this story: I wanted a haircut and phoned a salon early for an appoint- ment but was told customers were taken on a walk-in basis only. On Saturday I got there by 9 a.m. and there were already ten people waiting. I drove to another salon, but it was booked solid. Still another had no openings. The situation seemed hopeless, so I went home. My husband greeted me at the door. "That was fast," he said cheerfully. "Your hair looks great!"

Today November 1 in
1512 Michelangelo's paintings on the ceiling of the Sistine
Chapel were first exhibited to the public. The original had many
nude figures, which were painted over in the 1960s.

1604 "Othello," the tragedy by William Shakespeare, was first
presented at Whitehall Palace in London. 

1611 "The Tempest," Shakespeare's romantic comedy, was first
presented at Whitehall Palace in London. 

1755 At least 60,000 people were killed in Lisbon, Portugal by an
earthquake, its aftershocks and the ensuing tsunami.

1765 The British Parliament enacted The Stamp Act in the American
colonies. The act was repealed in March of 1766 on the same day
that the Parliament passed the Declaratory Acts which asserted
that the British government had free and total legislative power
of the colonies. That did not go over well either. 

1800 U.S. President John Adams became the first president to live
in the White House when he moved in. 

1848 The first medical school for women, founded by Samuel
Gregory, opened in Boston, MA. The Boston Female Medical School
later merged with Boston University School of Medicine. 

1856 The first photography magazine, Daguerreian Journal, was
published in New York City, NY. 

1861 Gen. George B. McClellan was made the general-in-chief of
the American Union armies. 

1864 The U.S. Post Office started selling money orders. The money
orders provided a safe way to payments by mail. 

1870 The U.S. Weather Bureau made its first meteorological
observations using 24 locations that provided reports via

1879 Thomas Edison executed his first patent application for a
high-resistance carbon filament (U.S. Pat. 223,898). 

1894 "Billboard Advertising" was published for the first time. It
later became known as "Billboard." 

1894 Russian Emperor Alexander III died. 

1904 The Army War College in Washington, DC, enrolled the first

1911 Italy used planes to drop bombs on the Tanguira oasis in
Libya. It was the first aerial bombing. 

1936 Benito Mussolini made a speech in Milan, Italy, in which he
described the alliance between Italy and Nazi Germany as an
"axis" running between Berlin and Rome. 

1940 "A Night in the Tropics" was released. It was the first
movie for Abbott and Costello. 

1949 In Washington, 55 people were killed when a fighter plane
hit an airliner. 

1950 Two Puerto Rican nationalists tried to assassinate U.S.
President Harry Truman. One of the men was killed when they tried
to force their way into Blair House in Washington, DC. 

1952 The United States exploded the first hydrogen bomb on
Eniwetok Atoll in the Marshall Islands. 

1954 Algeria began to rebel against French rule. 

1959 Jacques Plante, of the Montreal Canadiens, became the first
goalie in the NHL to wear a mask. 

1963 The USSR launched Polyot I. It was the first satellite
capable of maneuvering in all directions and able to change its

1968 The movie rating system of G, M, R, X, followed by PG-13 and
NC-17 went into effect. 

1979 Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini urged all Iranians to
demonstrate on November 4 and to expand their attacks against the
U.S. and Israel. On November 4, Iranian militants seized the U.S.
embassy in Tehran and took 63 Americans hostage. 

1985 In the village of Ignacio Aldama, 22 members of a Mexican
anti-narcotics squad were killed by alleged drug traffickers. 

1987 Deng Xiaoping retired from China's Communist Party's Central

1989 Tens of thousands of refugees fled to the West when East
Germany reopened its border with Czechoslovakia. 

1989 Nicaraguan President Daniel Ortega announced the end of a
cease-fire with the Contra rebels. 

1993 The European Community's treaty on European unity took

1994 The domain name was registered. 

1995 In Dayton, OH, the Bosnian peace talks opened with the
leaders of Bosnia, Serbia and Croatia present. 

1998 Nicaraguan Vice President Enrique Bolanos announced that
between 1,000 and 1,500 people were buried in a 32-square mile
area below the slopes of the Casita volcano in northern Nicaragua
by a mudslide caused by Hurricane Mitch. 

1998 Iridium inaugurated the first handheld, global satellite
phone and paging system.

2018  smiled.

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