Good Morning, !

Today is Sunday, December 2

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Milwaukee woman, 18, facing 2nd DUI charge 
after leading deputies on 100 mph chase

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Today, December 1 in
1961 Cuban leader Fidel Castro declared in a nationally broadcast
speech that he was a Marxist-Leninist and that he was going to
lead Cuba to communism. 
More of today in history at History
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If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!



The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning
'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'.
--- Larry Hardiman 

Rules are just helpful guidelines for stupid people who can't
make up their own minds.
--- Seth Hoffman

A good listener is not only popular everywhere, 
but after a while he gets to know something.
--- Wilson Mizner
______________________________________________________

Nancy called me as she was driving to an
appointment. She arrived, and I could tell from her voice
that she was getting frustrated. Finally she said, "I know I
had my cell phone with me. And now I can't find it!"

I replied, "Aren't you talking on it!?"

There was a solid period of stunned silence as the reality
of the situation sank in - followed by, "You are NOT going
to tell anybody about this!"

________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

Thanks to Connie for this report:
In a small town, a man just opened a small store selling
trumpets and guns. One day his neighbor pays him a visit
and says: "So how is your strange business going?"

"What do you mean strange?"

"Because you sell only trumpets and guns!"

"So?"

"Well, let me put it this way, what do you sell the most,
trumpets or guns?"

"It evens itself out. Each time a customer buys a trumpet,
one of his neighbors buys a gun." 

_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________

At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her 
idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. "The man I 
marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must 
be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. And stay home at night!"

A grandmotherly patron at the next table overheard and 
spoke up, "Girl, what you are asking for is a television set!"

______________________________________________________

>From Linda



St. Augustine Lighthouse (Florida 

_____________________________________________________


If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________





An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

Marissa Lucero,
18,
Milwaukee,
Wisconsin

Milwaukee woman, 18, facing 2nd DUI charge 
after leading deputies on 100 mph chase

The Milwaukee County Sheriff's Office tells FOX6 News an 18-year-
old Milwaukee woman was arrested for her second OWI offense early
Tuesday morning, Nov. 27. Officials say Marissa Lucero led
deputies on a chase reaching speeds of 100 mph.

According to the sheriff's office, just after midnight deputies
tracked a vehicle traveling on I-43 going 71 in a 50 mph zone.

Authorities attempted to stop the vehicle, but it did not stop. A
chase ensued and officials say the fleeing driver reached speeds
in excess of 100 mph and veered through traffic.

After exiting at Capitol Drive, officials say the vehicle struck
a curb and damaged a front tire and axle. It came to a stop on a
median near Messmer High School.

The chase wasn't over. Lucero can be seen making a run for it
just as backup arrives. Law enforcement can be seen giving chase.
Lucero was captured by deputies and arrested.

While leading Lucero back to the squad car, emotions took over.
Lucero can be heard screaming for her mother over and over.

Deputies found a half bottle of vodka on the front passenger
floor of the vehicle she crashed.

Two deputies received minor injuries in the chase.

The sheriff's office says this is Lucero's second OWI offense --
with a previous arrest in May of this year. Lucero was not
allowed to be behind the wheel due to the previous conviction.

According to the sheriff's office, Lucero faces felony charges of
Vehicle Operator Flee/Elude an Officer, 2nd Degree Recklessly
Endangering Safety, and Resisting/Obstructing an Officer-Causing
Soft Tissue Injury. Lucero will also receive a misdemeanor charge
of Operating After Revocation-OWI-related, citations for
speeding, and Refuse to Submit to Intox/Blood.

If convicted on all charges, Lucero faces up to 20 years and nine
months in prison.

Lucero's bail has been set at over $6,000, so that she can afford
to have another dingbat malfunction by the time she goes to
court.



From: George
Re: My own web site

Dear Webby,
You advertise web space from $2.50 up. I can get web space
for free from my ISP, but their support is somewhere in Asia
and anything but helpful. They just deal with complaints and
don't volunteer any useful information. For design they charge
a ridiculous amount that obviously is just intended to totally
discourage that avenue.

I would imagine that the design costs extra even with your
set-up. What would be a reasonable guess for a small business
site? 
George

Dear George
That depends entirely on how much information you can provide.
Actual design is cheap, because we are good and fast with it.
However, interrogation to drag the information out of you, 
about what you might want on your site, that is $150 / hour.

If you gather the information together and put it into an email,
attach the pictures you want on the site and describe what
you want to accomplish, then the design will be $50.
We will set it up with re-usable blocks like headers, side-menu,
footers, etc. and easy to update content blocks. 

For a consistent corporate look and feel you can clone any
page and just use a different content block, and we show you
how to do that.

With our system, the only difficult part is the getting around
to getting started gathering your info.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.

The aged patient doddered into the doctor's office with a serious
complaint.
"Doc, you've got to do something to lower my sex drive."

"Come on now GopherBait," the doctor said, 
"your sex drives all in your head."

"That's what I mean, you've got to lower it a little."



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




A bus of politicians is driving by a farm where a man lives
alone. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery,
loses control and crashes into the ditch. The man comes
out and finding the politicians, buries them.

The next day, the police are at the farm questioning the
man. "So you buried all the politicians?" asked the police
officer. "Were they all dead?"

The man answered, "Some said they weren't, but you know
how politicians lie."

___________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Buying Winter Clothes 
Now is a great time of year to get good deal on winter 
clothing as stores make space for spring apparel. You can 
also find deep discounts on ski and snowboarding equipment 
in the next couple months. 
8
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com

____________________________________________________






Wander through the Sicilian village in a cave frozen in time.

___________________________________________________

A kind-hearted fellow was walking through Central Park in
New York and was astonished to see an old man, fishing
rod in hand, fishing over a beautiful bed of lillies.
"Tch Tch!" said the passerby to himself. "What a sad sight.
That poor old man is fishing over a bed of flowers. I'll see if I
can help."

So the kind fellow walked up to the old man and asked,
"What are you doing, my friend?"

"Fishin', sir."

"Fishin', eh. Well how would you like to come have a drink
with me?"

The old man stood up, put his rod away and followed the
kind stranger to the corner bar. He ordered a large glass of
beer and a fine cigar.

His host, the kind fellow, felt good about helping the old
man, and he asked, "Tell me, old friend, how many did you
catch this morning?"

The old fellow took a long drag on the cigar, blew a careful
smoke ring and replied, "You are the sixth today, sir!"

___________________________________________________

Morris was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the
table, reading the paper after breakfast.  He came across an
article about a beautiful actress that was about to marry a
football player who was known primarily for his lack of IQ and
common knowledge.

He turned to his wife Sherry, with a look of question on his
face. "I'll never understand why the biggest schmucks get the
most attractive wives."

His wife replies, "Why thank you, dear!"

___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.


A Jewish lady goes into a furniture store owned
by a Jewish man.  She picks out a lamp she
likes and brings it to the counter.  She finds out
the price is $69.95 and says, "Oy, down the
street at Goldstein's these are only $49.95!"

The owner asks why she doesn't buy it from
Goldstein's, and she says because they just
ran out of them.

The owner then says,  "Ha!  When I'm out of
them,  they're only $29.95!"




Today December 2 in
1804 Napoleon was crowned emperor of France at the Cathedral of
Notre Dame in Paris. 

1816 The first savings bank in the U.S., the Philadelphia Savings
Fund Society, opened for business. 

1823 U.S. President James Monroe outlined his doctrine opposing
European expansion in the Western Hemisphere. 

1901 Gillette patented the KC Gillette Razor. It was first razor
to feature a permanent handle and disposable double-edge razor
blades. 

1917 During World War I, hostilities were suspended on the
eastern front. 

1927 The Ford Motor Company unveiled the Model A automobile. It
was the successor to the Model T. 

1939 New York's La Guardia Airport began operations as an
airliner from Chicago landed at 12:01 a.m. 

1942 A self-sustaining nuclear chain reaction was demonstrated by
Dr. Enrico Fermi and his staff at the University of Chicago. 

1954 The U.S. Senate voted to condemn Sen. Joseph R. McCarthy for
what it called "conduct that tends to bring the Senate into
dishonor and disrepute." The censure was related to McCarthy's
controversial investigation of suspected communists in the U.S.
government, military and civilian society. 

1961 Cuban leader Fidel Castro declared in a nationally broadcast
speech that he was a Marxist-Leninist and that he was going to
lead Cuba to communism. 

1969 The Boeing 747 jumbo jet got its first public preview as 191
people flew from Seattle, WA, to New York City, NY. Most of the
passengers were reporters and photographers. 

1970 The Environmental Protection Agency began operations. 

1980 The Central Committee of Poland’s Communist Party announced
major Politburo changes. The changes were aimed at coping with
labor unrest. 

1982 Doctors at the University of Utah implanted a permanent
artificial heart in the chest of retired dentist Barney Clark. He
lived 112 days with the device. The operation was the first of
its kind. 

1988 Benazir Bhutto was sworn in as prime minister of Pakistan. 

1989 V.P. Singh was sworn in as prime minister of India. 

1990 Chancellor Hekmut Kohl's coalition won the first free all-
German elections since 1932. 

1990 The Midwest section of the U.S. prepared for a massive
earthquake predicted by Iben Browning. The earthquakes did not
occur. 

1992 Germany's lower house of parliament voted in favor of the
Maastricht Treaty on European unity. 

1993 The space shuttle Endeavor blasted off on a mission to fix
the Hubble Space Telescope. 

1994 The U.S. government agreed not to seek a recall of allegedly
fire-prone General Motors pickup trucks. A deal was made with GM
under which the company would spend more than $51 million on
safety and research. 

1995 NASA launched a U.S.-European observatory on a $1 billion
dollar mission intended to study the sun. 

1997 U.S. Attorney General Janet Reno declined to seek an
independent counsel investigation of telephone fund-raising by
President Clinton and Vice President Gore. She had concluded that
they had not violated election laws. 

1998 Microsoft Corp. chairman Bill Gates donated $100 million to
help immunize children in developing countries. 

1999 The British government transferred political power over the
province of Northern Ireland to the Northern Ireland Executive. 

2001 Enron Corp. filed for Chapter 11 reorganization. The filing
came five days after Dynegy walked away from a $8.4 billion
buyout. It was the largest bankruptcy in U.S. history. 

2010 NASA announced the discovery of a new arsenic-based life
form. 

2018  smiled.






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