Good Morning, !

Thank you very much, Frank!!!

Today is Friday, December 7
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Naked N.H. attacked police officer.
He got tased and jailed.

https://youtu.be/hBq_r1-G_4E
______________________________________________________
Today, December 7 in
1941 Pearl Harbor, located on the Hawaiian island of Oahu was
attacked by nearly 200 Japanese warplanes. The attack resulted in
Canada declaring war on Japan, followed a day later by the USA. 
That caused the U.S. to enter into World War II. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________



If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!



Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for
appointment by the corrupt few.
--- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)

Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children 
have teenagers of their own.
--- Doug Larson
______________________________________________________

>From Ed
I walked into Dairy Queen the other day and asked
for a hot fudge sundae with extra hot fudge.

The girl replied, "The hot fudge only comes in one
temperature, Sir."

________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

Mr. Smith was brought to Mercy Hospital
(a Catholic hospital), and taken quickly in for
coronary surgery. The operation went well and, as the
groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by
a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting by his bed.

"Mr. Smith, you're going to be just fine," said the nun,
gently patting his hand. "We do need to know, however,
how you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you
covered by insurance?"

"No, I'm not," the man whispered hoarsely.

"Then can you pay in cash?" persisted the nun.

"I'm afraid I cannot, Sister."

"Well, do you have any close relatives?" the nun
questioned sternly.

"Just my sister in New Mexico," he volunteered. "But she's
a humble spinster nun."

"Oh, I must correct you, Mr. Smith. Nuns are not
spinsters - they are married to God."

"Wonderful," said Mr. Smith. "In that case, please send
the bill to my brother-in-law."

_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________

Two voices, male and female, on an overnight
"red eye" plane flight.  "I think everyone's
asleep, lets go"

Sound of steps.

"This one's empty.  No ones is looking.  You
go in first"

"It a bit cramped, let me sit down"

"Have you got the condom?  Quick, put it on"
Sniff sniff "Ah perfume you think of everything"

"This is great..." (long sigh)

Static on the loud speaker then a new voice.
"This is the captain speaking, to those two
people in the rear toilet. We know what you're
doing and it is expressly forbidden by airline
regulations.  Now put those cigarettes out and
take the condom off the fake smoke detector!"

-------------
Frequent fliers know that airplane toilets have 
"fart extractors", the smelly air is suckd down the toilet
and allowed to escape to the thin air outside. By bending
low over the toilet, as if praying to Ralph, the god of 
drunks, you can have that smelly cigarette, that is 
between going berserk and relaxed calmness.

______________________________________________________




So much for Algorian Warming!

_____________________________________________________


If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________





An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

Richard Chase, 52,
Merrimack,
New Hampshire

Naked N.H. attacked police officer.
He got tased and jailed.

A man walking completely naked in the parking lot of a Merrimack
hotel was stunned with a Taser on Friday night after police say
he tried to punch an officer.

Richard Chase, 52, has been charged with indecent exposure,
attempted assault and resisting arrest.

A man walking completely naked in the parking lot of a Merrimack
hotel was stunned with a Taser on Friday night after police say
he tried to punch an officer.

Richard Chase, 52, has been charged with indecent exposure,
attempted assault and resisting arrest.



From: Helene
Re: No Right Click

Dear Webby,
Although I disagree with most of your political & social 
beliefs, your letter is really addictive and, hate to admit this,

but enjoy -- a lot. So, thanks. Before I go through an 
elaborate process, any hints about what causes the right 
button of a mouse to suddenly stop functioning? It worked 
fine yesterday. Appreciate any advice.  
Helene

Dear Helene
First go into Settings, Control Panel, Mouse, Buttons
and make sure that right clicking has not been turned off 
by some left-wing liberal program.

If that is OK, shake and bash the mouse on the table.
Don't be too gentle, except with the mouse cord. Make sure
that there won't be any strain on the mouse cord during that.

If that does not help either, replace the mouse. They are 
not made to last forever.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.


A Catholic priest, a Protestant minister, and a Jewish
rabbi were discussing when life begins.

"Life begins," said the priest, "at the moment of
fertilization. That is when God instills the spark
of life into the fetus."

"We believe," said the minister, "that life begins at
birth, because that is when the baby becomes an
individual and is capable of making its own decisions
and must learn about sin."

"You're both wrong," said the rabbi. "Life begins
when the children have graduated from college
and moved out of the house."



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




Christmas Break was over and the teacher was
asking the class about their vacations.  She
turned to little Johnny and asked what he did
over the break.

"We visited my grandmother in Punxsutawney,
Pennsylvania," he replied.

"That sounds like an excellent vocabulary word,"
the teacher said.  "Can you tell the class how
you spell that?"

Little Johnny thought about it and said, "You know,
come to think of it, we went to Acron, Ohio."

___________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Storing Video Tapes 
Be careful that your video and camcorder tapes are stored 
away from electronics that have a magnetic field, like 
stereo speakers and TV's. Store your tapes somewhere 
dry and room temperature (60-70 F). Consider having 
a backup created on DVD of irreplaceable home movies. 
Tip provided by 
Thriftyfun.com

____________________________________________________





Cool ceiling! I love the way it ripples.

___________________________________________________

Little Tommy had been to a birthday party at a friend's house. 
Knowing his sweet tooth, Tommy's mother looked straight 
into his eyes and said, "I hope you didn't ask for a second 
piece of cake."

"No, but I asked Mrs. Smith for the recipe so you could 
make some like it, and she gave me two more pieces 
without asking."

___________________________________________________

A young man volunteered to babysit one night so his mom
could have an evening out. At bedtime he sent the youngsters
upstairs to bed and settled down to watch football. One
child kept creeping down the stairs, but the young man kept
sending him back.

At 9:00 p.m., the doorbell rang. It was the next-door
neighbor, Mrs. Brown, asking whether her son was there. The
young man brusquely replied, "No."

Just then a little head appeared over the banister and a
voice shouted, "I'm here, Mom, but he won't let me go home."

___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.


Father - Daughter Talk 
A young woman was about to finish her first year of
college. Like so many others her age, she considered
herself to be a very liberal Democrat, and among other
liberal ideals, was very much in favor of higher taxes
to support more government programs; in other words,
redistribution of wealth. 

She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather
staunch Republican, a feeling she openly expressed.
Based on the lectures that she had participated in,
and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt
that her father had for years harbored an evil,
selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his. 

One day, she was challenging her father on his
opposition to higher taxes on the rich, and the need
for more government programs. The self-professed
objectivity proclaimed by her professor had to be the
truth, and she indicated so to her father. 

He responded by asking how she was doing in school. 
Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she
had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to
maintain, insisting that she was taking a very
difficult course load and was constantly studying,
which left her no time to go out and party like other
people she knew. She didn't even have time for a
boyfriend, and didn't really have many college friends
either because she spent all her time studying. 

Her father listened, then asked, "How is your friend
Audrey doing?" She replied, "Audrey is barely getting
by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies,
and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so popular on
campus; college for her is a blast. She's always
invited to all the parties, and lots of times she
doesn't even show up for classes because she's too
hung over." 

Her father asked her, "Why don't you go to the Dean's
office and ask him to deduct a 1.0 off your GPA and
give it to your friend Audrey, who only has a 2.0?
That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA, and certainly
that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA." 

The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's
suggestion, angrily fired back, "That's a crazy idea!
How would that be fair? I've worked really hard for my
grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard
work. And she's done next to nothing toward her
degree. She played while I worked my tail off!" 

The father slowly smiled and said gently, "Welcome to
the Republican Party." 

___________________________________________________



Today December 7 in
1431 In Paris, Henry VI of England was crowned King of France. 

1787 Delaware became the first state to ratify the U.S.
constitution becoming the first of the United States. 

1907 At London's National Sporting Club, Eugene Corri became the
first referee to officiate from inside a boxing ring. 

1925 Swimmer Johnny Weissmuller set a world record in the 150-
yard freestyle with a time of 1 minute, 25 and 2/5 seconds. He
went on to play "Tarzan" in several movies. 

1926 The gas operated refrigerator was patented by The Electrolux
Servel Corporation. 
I had one of those in the Yukon.

1941 Pearl Harbor, located on the Hawaiian island of Oahu was
attacked by nearly 200 Japanese warplanes. The attack resulted in
Canada declaring war on Japan, followed a day later by the USA. 
Tht caused the U.S. to enter into World War II. 

1946 A fire at the Winecoff Hotel in Atlanta killed 119 people.
It was America's worst hotel fire disaster. The hotel founder, W.
Frank Winecoff, was also killed in the fire. 

1971 Libya announced the nationalization of British Petroleum's
assets. 

1972 Apollo 17 was launched at Cape Canaveral. It was the last
U.S. moon mission. 

1972 Imelda Marcos, wife of Philippine President Ferdinand E.
Marcos, was stabbed and seriously wounded by an assailant. The
man was then shot and killed by her bodyguards. 

1974 President Makarios returned to Cyprus after five months in
exile. 

1980 General Antonio Ramlho Eanes was reelected president of
Portugal. His right-wing opposition was thrown into disarray by
the death of Premier Francisco Sa Carneiro in a plane crash. 

1982 Charlie Brooks Junior, a convicted murderer, became the
first prisoner in the U.S. to be executed by injection, at a
prison in Huntsville, TX. 

1983 Madrid, Spain, an Aviaco DC-9 collided on a runway with an
Iberia Air Lines Boeing 727 that was accelerating for takeoff.
The collision resulted in the death of all 42 people aboard the
DC-9 and 51 on the Iberia jet. 

1987 Soviet leader Mikhail S. Gorbachev set foot on American soil
for the first time. He had come to the U.S. for a Washington
summit with U.S. President Reagan. 

1987 43 people were killed when a gunman opened fire on a fellow
passenger and the two pilots aboard a Pacific Southwest Airlines
jetliner. 

1988 An estimated 25,000 people were killed when a major
earthquake hit northern Armenia in the Soviet Union. The quake
measured 6.9 on the Richter Scale. 

1988 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev announced the
reduction of the number of Soviet military troops by half a
million. 

1989 East Germany's Communist Party agreed to cooperate with the
plan for free elections and a revised constitution. 

1992 The U.S. Supreme Court rejected a Mississippi abortion law
which, required women to get counseling and then wait 24 hours
before terminating their pregnancies. 

1993 Six people were killed and 17 were injured when a gunman
opened fire on a Long Island Rail Road commuter train. 

1993 Energy Secretary Hazel O'Leary revealed that the U.S.
government had conducted more than 200 nuclear weapons tests in
secret at its Nevada test site. 

1993 Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders suggested that the U.S.
government study the impact of drug legalization. 

1995 A probe sent from the Galileo spacecraft entered into
Jupiter's atmosphere. The probe sent back data to the mothership
before it was presumably destroyed. 

1996 The space shuttle Columbia returned from the longest-ever
shuttle flight of 17 days, 15 hours and 54 minutes. 

1998 The U.N. evacuated 14 peacekeepers that were trapped by
fighting between army and rebel forces in central Angola. 

1998 U.S. Attorney General Janet Reno declined to seek an
independent counsel investigation of President Clinton over 1996
campaign financing. 

1999 A U.S. federal grand jury indicted a former convict in the
1995 disappearance of atheist leader Madalyn Murray O'Hair. 

2002 In Amsterdam, Netherlands, two Van Gogh paintings were
stolen from the Van Gogh Museum. The two works were "View of the
Sea st Scheveningen" and "Congregation Leaving the Reformed
Church in Nuenen." On July 26, 2004, two men were convicted for
the crime and were sentenced to at least four years in prison
each. 

2002 In Mymensingh, Bangladesh, four movies theaters were bombed
within 30 minutes of each other. At least 15 people were killed
and over 200 were injured. 

2003 A 12-inch by 26-inch painting of a river landscape and
sailing vessel by Martin Johnson Heade was sold at auction for $1
million. The painting was found in the attic of a suburban Boston
home where it had been stored for more than 60 years.

2018  smiled.






[ view entry ]
  |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 203 )


<<First   <Back   | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 |  Next>     Last>>
                    

- Page Generated in 0.1579 seconds | Site Views: 47