Sbcglobal Problems 

Good Morning, !

Today is Saturday, December 22
Days are getting longer now! YeeHaw!
This year's Winter Solstice is special, because we got a full
The solstice this year is special because the much anticipated  
"Cold Moon" will be visible during the night along with the Ursid
meteor shower.

Have FUN!

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Florida man tried to pay for McDonald's 
with bag of weed, police say

Today, December 22 in
1895 German physicist Wilhelm Röntgen made the first X-ray
photograph, of his wife's hand. 
More of today in history at History
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible. --- David M. Ogilvy The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil but because of those who look on and do nothing. --- Albert Einstein ______________________________________________________ An elderly parish priest was tending his garden near a convent when a passerby stopped to inquire after the priest's much-loved roses. "Not bad," said the priest, "but they suffer from a disease peculiar to this area known as the black death." "What on earth is that?" asked the passerby, anxious to increase his garden knowledge. "Nuns with scissors." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Roland for this classic: Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune. One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. 'I may look like just an ordinary man,' he said to her, 'but in just a few weeks, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 BILLION dollars.' Impressed, the woman obtained his business card. Three days later, she became his stepmother. Women are so much better at estate planning than men. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ TRANSLATION OF VACATION TERMS When choosing a vacation spot, be aware of the following advertising terminology and their meanings . . . Tropical . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Rainy. Old world charm . . . . . . . . No bath. Open bar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Free ice cubes Pre registered rooms . . . . .Both already occupied. Majestic setting . . . . . . . . . A long way from town. Secluded hideaway . . . . . . Impossible to find except by cab Options galore . . . . . . . . . . Nothing on the itinerary is included. Knowledgeable trip hosts . .They've been on a greyhound once Gentle breezes . . . . . . . . . OccasionalGale force winds. Plush . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Top and bottom sheets. Light and airy . . . . . . . . . . No air conditioning. Picturesque . . . . . . . . . . . Cutie on the billboard across the street Nominal fee . . . . . . . . . . . . Outrageous charge. Explore on your own . . . . . Pay for it yourself. No extra fees . . . . . . . . . . . No extras. Standard . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Sub-standard. Deluxe . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Standard. Superior . . . . . . . . . . . . . . One free shower cap. All the amenities . . . . . . . . Shower cap and soap. Internet access . . . . . . . . You need your own dial-up account Only 25 cents per call . . . We knock you off-line every 5 minutes ______________________________________________________ Bryce Canyon. In the morning or evening Bryce Canyon is even more spectacular. _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Anthony Andrew Gallagher, 23, Port St. Lucie, Floriduh Florida man tried to pay for McDonald's with bag of weed, police say Police were alerted to Anthony Andrew Gallagher's offer early Sunday morning and got a description of him from the worker. Police in Florida say a 23-year-old man went through a McDonald's drive-thru and tried to pay for his order with a bag of marijuana. News outlets report Port St. Lucie police say the fast food worker denied the trade and Anthony Andrew Gallagher drove off, only to return again a short time later. Police arrested him Sunday on charges of marijuana possession and driving under the influence. Police were alerted to Gallagher's offer early Sunday morning and got a description of him from the worker. They say a suspect matching his description went through the drive-thru a little while later and police approached him. It's unclear if Gallagher attempted to pay for his order with drugs the second time.
From: Rosalie Re: sbcglobal problems Dear Webby, I have been signed up to your web site for a long time and yet I only get your e-mails maybe once a month or every other month. I also signed up to Webby's site and never get anything, although I use to receive it everyday. Don't' know what the problem is but I sure do miss your's and Webby's everyday musings. Rosalie ****** Dear Rosalie With Yahoo's sbcglobal you have to expect that. It is not something you did or didn't do. Most Yahoos have that problem. Just get yourself a free gmail address for important stuff. Gmail is free and quite reliable. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
How the stock market works Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each. The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest, and started catching them. The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He then announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it! The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50 ! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him. In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. "Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each." The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys. Some even got loans from a new bank in order to buy monkeys at $35 ! Then they never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys and bankers everywhere! Now you have a better understanding of how the stock market works.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Thanks to Brigit for this report: In Marine Corps basic training, I soon learned that everything we recruits used belonged to our drill instructor. For instance, she referred to the stuff in our footlockers as "my trash" and to the racks where we slept as "my racks." One time when when we were whispering in the head (bathroom) while making "head calls," our drill instructor must have overheard us. To our surprise, she suddenly yelled, "Why do I hear voices in my head?" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Old Mail Box As A Train Tunnel If you know a toy train enthusiast (or are one yourself) you can use an old metal mailbox to create a tunnel for your train. Just remove the door and back of the mailbox and let your toy train travel through it. An old, worn out door mat or throw rug works fine too. Build the track first. It can be curved and even exit on the same side higher up, like the spiral tunnel at Kicking Horse Canyon in BC. Use a 2" vaccum cleaner hose or similar spacer on the track, drape the throw rug over it and sprinkle it with cement and water. You don't need a lot, it just has to be stiff enough, that it doesn't collapse when you pull the hose out a day later. You can, of course also use boxes or pieces of wood as spacers and create a realistic looking mountain. A ragged old cocos mat door entrance mat, sprayed with a bit of green spray paint makes a very realistic looking mountain. Have FUN! DearWebby ____________________________________________________
That will teach them to steal packages off your front porch!
___________________________________________________ A boy was watching his father, a preacher, write a sermon. He asked, "How do you know what to say, dad?" His father said, "Why, God tells me, son." The boy was silent for a moment, then said, "Then why do you keep crossing things out?" ___________________________________________________ The new father ran out of the delivery room and announced to the rest of his family waiting for the news, "We had twins!" The family was so excited, they immediately asked, "Who do they look like?" The father paused, smiled and said, "Each other." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
What's the Heirloom Christmas Book about? It is a BIG e-book with all the stories, that your great grandmother recited or read to your grandmother, when she was a kid. I want these stories to be preserved. You may know what it is about, when somebody mentions "bittersweet love like in 'The Gift Of The Magi'," but with today's education, your kids or even their teachers, probably don't know. So I collected these classics and put them all together into one e-book. This book of Christmas Stories is a cultural treasure, that should be passed on to our descendants. Since it is in e-book format, you can put it onto a CD for each kid, and fill the rest of the CD with family pictures and other keepsakes, making it a true heirloom. I have produced a smaller version last year. This final edition has more stories and illustrations, but I kept the price down to the same $10. The Heirloom Christmas Book also makes a nice Christmas gift! Click on the book cover to get your copy or click on Heirloom Christmas Book You can download it and give the file as a gift! ___________________________________________________

Today December 22 in
1715 James Stuart, the "Old Pretender", landed at Petershead
after his exile in France. 

1775 A Continental naval fleet was organized in the rebellious
American colonies under the command of Ezek Hopkins. 

1807 The U.S. Congress passed the Embargo Act, designed to force
peace between Britain and France by cutting off all trade with

1864 During the American Civil War, Union Gen. William T. Sherman
sent a message to U.S. President Lincoln from Georgia. The
message read, "I beg to present you as a Christmas gift the city
of Savannah." 

1877 The "American Bicycling Journal" went on sale for the first

1894 French army officer Alfred Dreyfus was convicted of treason
in a court-martial that triggered worldwide charges of anti-
Semitism. Dreyfus was eventually vindicated. 

1895 German physicist Wilhelm Röntgen made the first X-ray, of
his wife's hand. 

1910 U.S. Postal savings stamps were issued for the first time.
They were discontinued in 1914. 

1939 Gloria Jacobs became the first girl to hold a world pistol
record when she shot 299 out of a possible 300 points. She was 17
years old at the time. 

1943 Sporting goods manufacturers received permission to use
synthetic rubber for the core of baseballs. 

1956 The last British and French forces evacuated Egypt. 

1961 James Davis became the first U.S. soldier to die in Vietnam,
while U.S. involvement was still limited to the provision of
military advisers. 

1984 New York City resident Bernhard Goetz shot four black youths
on a Manhattan subway. Goetz claimed they were about to rob him. 

1989 Romania's hard-line Communist ruler, Nicolae Ceausescu, was
overthrown in a popular uprising. 

1990 Lech Walesa was sworn in as Poland's first popularly elected

1991 The body of Lt. Col. William R. Higgins, an American hostage
murdered by his captors, was found along a highway in Lebanon. 

1996 A car bomb exploded in Belfast, injuring a known IRA
supporter. Police suspected that Protestant loyalists were
responsible for the attack. 

1998 A unit of RJR Nabsico pled guilty to attempting to smuggle
cigarettes into Canada. 

2001 Thirty Afghans, including two women, were sworn in as part
of the new interim government in Afghanistan. Hamid Karzai was
the head of the post-Taliban government.

2018  smiled.

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