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Today is Monday, December 24

Have FUN!

Today's Bonehead Award: 
NC Man who loved riding on top of passenger 
trains got decapitated by bridge

Today, December 24 in
1979 Soviet troops invaded Afghanistan in support of the
country's Marxist government. The CIA organized, trained and
armed the Taliban to fight the Soviets.
More of today in history at History
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause. --- P. J. O'Rourke (1947 - ), Parliament of Whores (1991) Silly is you in a natural state, and serious is something you have to do until you can get silly again. --- Mike Myers ______________________________________________________ A firefighter is at the station house working outside on the fire truck when he notices a little girl next door. The little girl is in a little Red wagon with little ladders hung off the side. She is wearing a Firefighter's hat and has the wagon tied to a dog. The firefighter says, "Hey, little girl, whatcha doing?" The little girl says, "I'm pretending to be a firefighter, and this is my fire truck!" The firefighter walks over to take a closer look. "Little girl, that sure is a nice fire truck!" the firefighter says. "Thanks, mifter," says the little girl. The firefighter looks a little closer and notices the little girl has tied the wagon to the dog's testicles. "Little girl," says the firefighter, "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the dog's neck, I think you could go faster." The little girl says, "You're probably right, mifter, but then I wouldn't have a siren!" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A Conversation with Mom Mother: 'Hello?' Daughter: 'Hi Mom. Can I leave the kids with you tonight?' Mother: 'You're going out?' Daughter: 'Yes.' Mother: 'With whom?' Daughter: 'With a friend.' Mother: 'I don't know why you left your husband. He is such a good man.' Daughter: 'MOM, I didn't leave him. He left me!' Mother: 'You let him leave you, and now you go out with anybodies and nobodies.' Daughter: 'MA, I do not go out with anybody. Can I bring over the kids?' Mother: 'I never left you to go out with anybody except your father.' Daughter: 'There are lots of things that you did and I don't.' Mother: 'What are you hinting at? Daughter: 'Nothing. I just want to know if I can bring the kids over tonight..' Mother: 'You're going to stay the night with him? What will your husband say if he finds out?' Daughter: 'MA, its My EX husband. I don't think he would be bothered. From the day he left me, he probably never slept alone!' Mother: 'So you're going to sleep over at this loser's place?' Daughter: 'MOM, He's not a loser.' Mother: 'A man who goes out with a divorced woman with children is a loser and a parasite.' Daughter: 'MA, I don't want to argue; should I bring over the kids or not?' Mother: 'Poor children with such a mother.' Daughter: 'Such a what?' Mother: 'With no stability. No wonder your husband left you.' Daughter: 'ENOUGH MA!!!' Mother: 'Don't scream at me. You probably scream at the loser too!' Daughter: 'Great MA, Now you're worried about the loser?' Mother: 'Ah, so you see he is a loser and I spotted him immediately.' Daughter: 'Goodbye, mother.' Mother: 'Wait! Wait! Don't hang up! When are you bringing them over? ' Daughter: 'I'm not bringing them over! I'm not going out!' Mother: 'If you never go out do you expect to meet anyone?" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ One of the busiest times for a meat-department manager in a supermarket occurs when there is a sale on particular cuts. When we put cross-rib roasts on sale one day the result was predictable. I'd bring out a cart of roasts and before I could get them on display, women customers were jostling for their share. Three times I returned with a cart of roasts and three times they were gone before I got to the counter. The fourth time out I noticed that a man who had quietly been watching began to approach my cart. He elbowed his way in, pushing and shoving, and finally grasped a roast. Before he could retreat from the crush, an irate woman glared at him and said, "Sir, how about being a gentleman!" The fellow turned and said, "Ma'am, for twenty minutes I've been a gentleman, now I'm going to be a lady!" And with that he smiled, took his roast and walked away. ______________________________________________________ Hussaini-Bridge, Pakistan _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and a Darwin Award has been earned by Varcy Locklear, 24, Lumberton, North Carolina NC Man who loved riding on top of passenger trains got decapitated by bridge Varcy Locklear’s dangerous hobby is believed to have killed him as he rode an Amtrak train in Lumberton, North Carolina in late October. The 24 year-old’s skull was found on December 11 by train crew, and formally identified as belonging to him Thursday. Locklear’s headless corpse was discovered shortly after his death on October 30. Officials believe it lay on top of the train after Locklear was decapitated, then fell off shortly after the locomotive passed through a track switching area and swayed from side to side as a result. After the train in question was examined, investigators found blood spatter on its roof consistent with the decapitation theory. He was known to cops for hopping on trains without a ticket, and had been charged numerous times with trespassing. Enfield Police Captain Dreher Bozard told the Fayetteville Observer: ‘He has been charged in the past with some trespassing charges dealing with trains. ‘He has been charged, and he’s also been warned several times about trespassing on train property, so he has a history of this. ‘He also has gone on Facebook before and posted a video on Facebook live of him standing in front of a train and jumping out of the way at the last second.’ Murphy added: ‘It’s a bizarre case. (Investigators) were shocked like anybody else would be to see anything of that magnitude.? His death saw the train he was traveling atop forced to stop for 46 minutes. An Amtrak spokesman said that 99 passengers were on board at the time, and added that no-one else was injured. Locklear’s death is being treated as accidental. Possibly the bonehead sat up to get above the Diesel exhaust, was riding looking backwards and did not see the bridge.
From: Gale Re: Back-up storage Dear Webby, I want to tell you how much I admire your picture in which you are wearing the red shirt and hood. You make it look good! Months ago you were highly recommending a storage/recovery system for pictures; alas, I did not note the name of it. My skills are remedial and now I know enough to wish I had such a good system. Thank you for your newsletter. Gale Dear Gale Quite a few electronics and camera stores are giving away thumb drives looking like key fobs, with their company logo printed on them. Some try to sell them, but fork them over if you ask nicely. You can also use camera chips. They are cheap. The problem with those is that they are small and like getting lost unless you have a dedicated place to store them and are an obnoxious nuisance insisting that EVERYBODY stores them there. A zip-lock or sturdy freezer zip bag attached to a monitor or shelf with double-sided tape is a good solution. Ideally you have two or more camera chips, and always have one of them in the bank safe deposit box, far away from the computer and the house. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A recent widow was crying to a grief counselor. "We were married twenty-five years before he died," she said, dabbing away a tear. "Never had an argument in all those years." "Amazing," said the councelor. "How did you do it?" "I outweighed him by forty pounds and he was a chicken."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
At a high School in Montana a group of high schoolers played a prank on the school. They let three goats loose in the school. Before they let them go they painted numbers on the sides of the goats: 1,2,4. Local school administrators spent most of the day looking for #3. We did that with cows. Cows walk up, but do NOT walk down stairs, and have to be carried down the stairs on stretchers. Did we ever get yelled at! ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from GNo Snow Pants? If you don't want to buy snow pants, just spray an old pair of jeans with water repellent. Wear a pair of long johns underneath to help keep you warm. Plastic bags work as a substitute to snow boots in a pinch Baby Oil works great as an emergency water repellant, especially in the cold, and washes out clean. Have FUN! DearWebby ____________________________________________________
This little girl is so adorable.
___________________________________________________ Thanks to Marg for this report: For all of you with teenagers or who had teenagers, you may want to know why they really have a lot in common with cats: 1. Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you call them by name. 2. No matter what you do for them, it is not enough. Indeed, all human efforts are barely adequate to compensate for the privilege of waiting on them hand and foot. 3. You rarely see a cat walking outside of the house with an adult human being, and it can be safely said that no teenager in his or her right mind wants to be seen in public with his or her parents. 4. Even if you tell jokes as well as Jay Leno, neither your cat nor you teen will ever crack a smile. 5. No cat or teenager shares you taste in music. 6. Cats and teenagers can lie on the living-room sofa for hours on end without moving, barely breathing. 7. Cats have nine lives. Teenagers carry on as if they did. 8. Cats and teenagers yawn in exactly the same manner, communicating that ultimate human ecstasy -- a sense of complete and utter boredom. 9. Cats and teenagers do not improve anyone's furniture. 10. Cats that are free to roam outside sometimes have been known to return in the middle of the night to deposit a dead animal in your bedroom. Teenagers are not above that sort of behavior. Thus, if you must raise teenagers, the best sources of advice are not other parents, but veterinarians. It is also a good idea to keep a guidebook on cats at hand at all times. And remember, above all else, put out the food and do not make any sudden moves in their direction. When they make up their minds, they will finally come to you for some affection and comfort, and it will be a triumphant moment for all concerned. As for the use of catnip as a reward or an enticement, that is being hotly debated. ___________________________________________________ The student - not necessarily a well-prepared student - sat in his life science classroom staring at a question on the final exam paper. The question directed: "Give four advantages of breast milk ." What to write? He sighed, and began to scribble whatever came into his head, hoping for the best: 1. No need to boil. 2. Cats can't steal it. 3. Available whenever necessary. Um. So far so good - maybe. But the exam demanded a four-part answer. Again, what to write? Once more he sighed. He frowned. He scowled. Then sighed again. But suddenly, he brightened. He grabbed his pen, and triumphantly he scribbled his definitive answer: 4. Available in attractive containers. He got an A for it. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
What's the Heirloom Christmas Book about? It is a BIG e-book with all the stories, that your great grandmother recited or read to your grandmother, when she was a kid. I want these stories to be preserved. You may know what it is about, when somebody mentions "bittersweet love like in 'The Gift Of The Magi'," but with today's education, your kids or even their teachers, probably don't know. So I collected these classics and put them all together into one e-book. This book of Christmas Stories is a cultural treasure, that should be passed on to our descendants. Since it is in e-book format, you can put it onto a CD for each kid, and fill the rest of the CD with family pictures and other keepsakes, making it a true heirloom. I have produced a smaller version last year. This final edition has more stories and illustrations, but I kept the price down to the same $10. The Heirloom Christmas Book also makes a nice Christmas gift! Click on the book cover to get your copy or click on Heirloom Christmas Book You can download it and give the file as a gift! ___________________________________________________

Today December 24 in
1814 The War of 1812 between the U.S. and Britain was ended with
the signing of the Treaty of Ghent in Belgium. 

1818 Franz Gruber of Oberndorf, Germany composed the music for
"Silent Night" to words written by Josef Mohr. 

1828 William Burke who, with his partner William Hare, dug up the
dead and murdered to sell the corpses for dissection, went on
trial in Edinburgh. 

1851 A fire devastated the Library of Congress in Washington, DC,
destroying about 35,000 volumes. 

1865 Several veterans of the Confederate Army formed a private
social club in Pulaski, TN, called the Ku Klux Klan. 

1906 Reginald A. Fessenden became the first person to broadcast a
music program over radio, from Brant Rock, MA. 

1914 In World War I, the first air raid on Britain was made when
a German airplane dropped a bomb on the grounds of a rectory in

1928 The first broadcast of "The Voice of Firestone" was heard. 

1943 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt appointed Gen. Dwight D.
Eisenhower supreme commander of Allied forces as part of
Operation Overlord. 

1944 The Andrews Sisters starred in the debut of "The Andrews
Sisters’ Eight-To-The-Bar-Ranch" on ABC Radio. 

1944 A German submarine torpedoed the Belgian transport ship S.S.
Leopoldville with 2,235 soldiers aboard. About 800 American
soldiers died. The soldiers were crossing the English Channel to
be reinforcements at the battle that become known as the Battle
of the Bulge. 

1948 For the first time ever, a midnight Mass was broadcast on
television. It was held at St. Patrick’s Cathedral in New York

1948 The first completely solar-heated house became occupied in
Dover, MA. 

1951 NBC-TV presented, "Amahl and the Night Visitors," the first
opera written for television. 

1951 Libya achieved independence as the United Kingdom of Libya,
under King Idris. 

1965 A meteorite landed on Leicestershire. It weighed about

1966 Luna 13 landed on the moon. 

1968 Three astronauts, James A. Lovell, William Anders and Frank
Borman, reached the moon. They orbited the moon 10 times before
coming back to Earth. Seven months later man first landed on the

1979 Soviet troops invaded Afghanistan in support of the
country's Marxist government. The CIA organized, trained and
armed the Taliban to fight the Soviets.

1981 In Eastern Kazakh/Semipalatinsk, the Soviet Union performed
a nuclear test. 

1985 Fidel Castro, the Cuban president, announced that he had
stopped smoking.

1989 Ousted Panamanian ruler Manuel Noriega took refuge at the
Vatican's diplomatic mission in Panama City. 

1990 Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman were married. 

1992 U.S. President George H.W. Bush pardoned former Defense
Secretary Caspar Weinberger and five others in the Iran-Contra

1997 Ilich Ramirez Sanchez, known as "Carlos the Jackal," was
sentenced by a French court to life in prison for the 1975
murders of two French investigators and a Lebanese national. 

1998 At Disneyland in Anaheim, CA, a tourist was hit by a piece
of flying metal while waiting to board a ride. The man's wife and
a Disneyland employee were also injured. Luan Phi Dawson died
December 26th from his injuries. 

1999 Ivory Coast President Henri Konan Bédié was overthrown in a

1999 An Indian Airlines plane was seized during a flight from
Katmandu, Nepal, to New Delhi. In Afghanistan, the 150 hostages
were freed on December 31 after India released three Kashmir
militants from prison. 

2000 36 minutes after the end of a game, both the New England
Patriots and the Miami Dolphins were called back to the playing
field. The teams had to play the final 3 seconds of the game
which the Dolphins had won 27-24. The end result did not change. 

2000 The "Texas 7," seven convicts that had escaped a Texas
prison, robbed a sports store in Irving, TX. 

2018  smiled.

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