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Good Morning, !

Today is Thursday, December 27

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Suicide by cops in Hawaii

Today, December 27 in
1900 Carrie Nation staged her first raid on a saloon at the Carey
Hotel in Wichita, KS. She broke each and every one of the liquor
bottles that could be seen. 
More of today in history at History
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious. --- William Feather (1908 - 1976) Never give a party if you will be the most interesting person there. --- Mickey Friedman ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Roland for this story: Sitting through fire safety and prevention programs can make anyone nod off. So the instructor tried to lighten the mood by going around the room asking where all the guests were from. "Burnt Mattress, Arkansas," called out the friend sitting next to me. "Burnt Mattress!" said the instructor, suppressing a laugh. "I've heard some unusual town names before, but never that one. Where's it located?" My friend shot back, "Right above Hot Springs." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: My friend, Don, a minor-league umpire, is used to being heckled by fans. But imagine his surprise when he was rushing to referee an exhibition game at Coors Field in Denver. After a long search for a place to change clothes, Don finally located a room with a neatly lettered sign that read: "Dressing Room, Umpires Only!" As he was about to go in, however, he inspected the sign more closely. Below the printed legend was the same message, written in Braille. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Thanks to oredwine for bringing back this classic: Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely. So, God asked him, "What's wrong with you?" Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman. He said, "This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you. She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will praise you! She will bear your children. and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will NEVER have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it. Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?" God replied, "An arm and a leg." Then, unfortunately, Adam asked, "What can I get for a rib?" Of course the rest is history. ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
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___________________________________________________ Reported by Michael An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD AND a Darwin Award has been earned by Natalee Kahl, 23, Coralville, Iowa Endangerment Charges For Iowa Mom An Iowa woman who left her three small children home alone late Thursday night was arrested on endangerment charges after one of the children called 911 to report that her mom and dad left and she needed help watching YouTube, according to court filings. Investigators charge that Natalee Kahl, 23, left the children-- ages five, three, and one--alone around 10 PM in the family's apartment in Coralville, an Iowa City suburb. Police were dispatched to the residence after one of the children called 911 to report that she needed help watching videos online. Cops estimated that Kahl left the children by themselves for about 40 minutes. Seen above, Kahl returned to the home while officers were inside the residence with her children. Kahl reportedly admitted to leaving the house to go get her boyfriend from a neighbor's house and that her offspring would not be able to take care of themselves in case of an emergency. Kahl was arrested on three counts of misdemeanor child endangerment. She also faces a possession of drug paraphernalia rap after cops found a glass pipe with marijuana residue in the home. Kahl was released this morning from the Johnson County jail after being booked into custody yesterday evening. In late-2015, Kahl, then living in Wisconsin, was in the news when her infant daughter was hospitalized after drinking vodka. According to press reports, Kahl said that the child's father had, unbeknownst to her, poured vodka into a plastic water bottle. Kahl later used the bottle to add two ounces of liquid to baby formula, which her daughter subsequently consumed. The child became ill and was rushed to a hospital, where her blood alcohol content was measured at .284 (nearly four times the legal limit). After the baby was released from the hospital, Kahl told a TV reporter of her thoughts upon seeing her daughter stricken. There's a lot that goes through your mind, like, 'Oh, my baby is going to get taken away, or she could die,' Kahl said. It is unclear whether Kahl's current boyfriend is the same man involved in the 2015 vodka incident.
Keli and Greg were involved in a petty argument, both of them unwilling to admit they might be in error. "I'll admit I'm wrong," said Greg in a conciliatory attempt, "if you'll admit I'm right." Keli agreed and, like the dear she is, insisted Greg go first. "I'm wrong," Greg said. With a twinkle in her eye, Keli responded, "You're right!" From: Mike Re: Can't delete hotmail mails Dear Webby, I have a hotmail account well I have two of them, one is working fine, but the second one is not. In that I delete messages from my inbox but then they reappear the next time I open up the inbox, consequently I have 400 some messages in this particular hotmail account. Microsoft has not been much help, to say the least. Thanks Mike Dear Mike Maybe it's time to leave ho'mail to the kids, and graduate to Gmail. You knew that sooner or later you would get fed up enough to finally graduate, so you might as well do it now. Gmail is free and reliable. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
At their 50th anniversary celebration, the husband was asked the secret of their longevity. "Well, we agreed in the beginning that if we ever got into a fight, I would just take my hat and go for a walk. After a while, I would return and throw my hat through the doorway. If she threw it back, it was time to take another walk. So I account my longevity to all the exercise I've gotten over the years!"
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Thanks to Ross for this story: An older man approached an attractive younger woman at a shopping mall. 'Excuse me; I can't seem to find my wife. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?' The woman, feeling a bit of compassion for the old fellow, said, 'Of course, sir. Do you know where your wife might be?' 'I have no idea, but every time I talk to a woman with boobs like yours, she seems to appear out of nowhere.' ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Fish Buying Tips Fish meat should be firm, not soft or mushy. Fish eyes should be shiny and protrude from the fish. If they are dull or sunken, the fish should be avoided. The fish should smell fresh and not overly fishy or musty. The skin should have a nice sheen and the scales should not be coming off. ____________________________________________________
27 Unique New Year’s Traditions
___________________________________________________ From the archive: Someone said this to me today, and I about laffed myself silly. Maybe you can clean it up a tad and use it. Jai...>^.^<... "Opinions are like asses. Everybody has one, And nobody thinks their's stinks." ___________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: Recently, a young woman came into my father's insurance office with her newborn twins. Dad asked her if she ever had any trouble telling them apart. She gave him a funny look before responding, "No, I haven't had any problem. This is Benjamin and that one is Elizabeth." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
If you need a last minute Christmas present, get the Heirloom Christmas Book You can send the download, or print it out and hand deliver it. What's the Heirloom Christmas Book about? It is a BIG e-book with all the stories, that your great grandmother recited or read to your grandmother, when she was a kid. I want these stories to be preserved. You may know what it is about, when somebody mentions "bittersweet love like in 'The Gift Of The Magi'," but with today's education, your kids or even their teachers, probably don't know. So I collected these classics and put them all together into one e-book. This book of Christmas Stories is a cultural treasure, that should be passed on to our descendants. Since it is in e-book format, you can put it onto a CD for each kid, and fill the rest of the CD with family pictures and other keepsakes, making it a true heirloom. I have produced a smaller version last year. This final edition has more stories and illustrations, but I kept the price down to the same $10. The Heirloom Christmas Book also makes a nice Christmas gift! Click on the book cover to get your copy or click on Heirloom Christmas Book You can download it and give the file as a gift! This offer comes down tonight. ___________________________________________________

Today December 27 in
1703 The Methuen Treaty was signed between Portugal and England,
giving preference to the import of Portuguese wines into England.

1831 Charles Darwin set out on a voyage to the Pacific aboard the
HMS Beagle. Darwin's discoveries during the voyage helped him
form the basis of his theories on evolution. 

1845 Dr. Crawford Williamson Long used anesthesia for childbirth
for the first time. The event was the delivery of his own child
in Jefferson, GA. 

1900 Carrie Nation staged her first raid on a saloon at the Carey
Hotel in Wichita, KS. She broke each and every one of the liquor
bottles that could be seen. 

1904 James Barrie's play "Peter Pan" premiered in London. 

1927 Leon Trotsky was expelled from the Communist Party. 

1938 The first skimobile course in America opened in North
Conway, NH. 

1945 The World Bank was created with an agreement signed by 28

1947 The children's television program "Howdy Doody," hosted by
Bob Smith, made its debut on NBC. 

1949 Queen Juliana of the Netherlands granted sovereignty to
Indonesia after more than 300 years of Dutch rule. 

1951 In Cincinnati, OH, a Crosley automobile, with a steering
wheel on the right side, became the first vehicle of its kind to
be placed in service for mail delivery. 

1965 The BP oil rig Sea Gem capsized in the North Sea, with the
loss of 13 lives.
1978 Spain adopted a new constitution and became a democracy
after 40 years of dictatorship. 

1979 Soviet forces seized control of Afghanistan. Babrak Karmal
succeeded President Hafizullah Amin, who was overthrown and

1985 Palestinian guerrillas opened fire inside the Rome and
Vienna airports. A total of twenty people were killed, including
five of the attackers, who were slain by police and security

1992 The U.S. shot down an Iraqi fighter jet during what the
Pentagon described as a confrontation between a pair of Iraqi
warplanes and U.S. F-16 jets in U.N.-restricted airspace over
southern Iraq. 

1996 CIA trained and armed Muslim fundamentalist Taliban forces
retook the strategic air base of Bagram, solidifying their buffer
zone around Kabul, the Afghanistan capital. 

1997 In Northern Ireland, Billy Wright was assassinated. He was
imprisoned as a Protestant paramilitary leader. 

2000 Mario Lemeiux (Pittsburgh Penguins) returned to the National
Hockey League (NHL) as a player after over 3 years of retirement.
He was the first owner-player in the modern era of pro sports.
Lemieux had purchased the Pittsburgh Penguins during his
retirement from playing. 

2001 U.S. President George W. Bush granted China permanent normal
trade status with the United States. 

2002 North Korea ordered U.N. nuclear inspectors to leave the
country and said that it would restart a laboratory capable of
producing plutonium for nuclear weapons. 

2002 In Chechnya, at least 40 people were killed when suicide
bombers attacked the administartion of Grozny.

2018  smiled.

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