Open \ Libre Office compatibility with Word 

Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, January 15

Today's Bonehead Award: 
2 women arrested after stealing 
during ‘Shop with a Cop’ event

Today, January 15 in
1973 U.S. President Nixon announced the suspension of all U.S.
offensive action in North Vietnam. He cited progress in peace
negotiations as the reason. 
More of today in history at History
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) ______________________________________________________ No one gossips about other people's secret virtues. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it's a depression when you lose yours. --- Harry S Truman (1884 - 1972) As you journey through life take a minute every now and then to give a thought for the other fellow. He could be plotting something. --- Hagar the Horrible ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Vicky for this story: I had run across the term cyber sex a few times lately, so I decided to try to figure out what it meant. I figured it had something to do with the computer, so I tried to find the sex drive on mine. I looked everywhere, in all the folders on My Computer, the Add/Uninstall software, install hardware part of the control panel, then I got out all the manuals and went through them. I finally came to the conclusion that my computer is not equipped with one. So I decided to go to the computer store to see if I could buy one. Well, the salesperson in the first store was a rather stern looking woman. I gave her the make and model of my computer and asked her if she had any sex drives in stock. She kinda scowled at me and asked if I was trying to get smart with her. Then she said, rather rudely I thought, that she could not help me and walked away. Huh, must not have had any in stock. In the second store, the salesguy kind of sniggered and asked if I meant a hard drive. I thought about it for a minute and told him, 'Yeah, maybe that, but I think I already have one installed'. He started laughing and said something about me killing him. 'You're killing me' -- like that, and walked away. Hmmm, must be out of stock here, too. The guy in the third store laughed and asked me if I'd fallen off the turnip truck. I assured him I'd never been on a turnip truck but I had fallen off the wagon a few times. He said that explains it and walked away laughing. The guy in the fourth store said something like 'idiot' under his breath and walked away. Anyway, I figured they must not carry them in stores, maybe I have to order from a catalogue or something. That's where I am now. So, if any of you have some computer skills and could help me locate my sex drive, I would appreciate it. Vicky _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband was resting next to me on the couch with his head in my lap. I carefully removed his glasses. "You know, honey," I said sweetly, "Without your glasses, you look like the same handsome young man I married." "Honey," he replied with a grin, "Without my glasses, you still look pretty good too!" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
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___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by 40-year-old Keiana Wilson 18-year-old Dana Johnson. Keego Harbor, Michigan 2 women arrested after stealing during ‘Shop with a Cop’ event Police have arrested two women accused of stealing from a Michigan department store with officers just feet away. Keego Harbor Police said officers from four different departments were participating in a Shop with a Cop event at a Target, where they took 22 disadvantaged people Christmas shopping. However, while they were shopping, officers said, they were notified that two women were accused of trying to steal $1,900 in electronics. “The loss prevention (officers) actually apprehended them, then they asked for police assistance,” Sylvan Lake Police Sgt. Michael Mondeau told the Detroit Free Press. “The police officers were only about 20 feet away when they tried to walk out of the store.” Officers arrested the two women, identified as 40-year-old Keiana Wilson and 18-year-old Dana Johnson. The two women appeared in court and bond was set at $250,000 for Johnson and $20,000 for Wilson
From: Ron Re: Libre Office Compatibility Dear DearWebby, Does Libre/Open Office work with Word o.k., opening attachments, and documents? Thank you for suggesting it. Ron Dear William Dear Ron yes, sure! It goes even further than WORD. You can make PDF files without having to shell out big bucks for Adobe. You can even pick up an MS-WORD doc, open it with OpenOffice and save it as a PDF file. Not everybody is stuck in the MS-Mud ! With more and more companies upgrading from MS-Office to Open Office or Star Office (Open office + Support package provided by SUN), the schools are again at the same spot where they were a dozen years ago, when they finally realized that very few of the students would encounter a school type Mac computer in real life after school. For industry and commerce the future is quite clear. Are you going to pay $500 + per seat for MS-Office, or get 15% MORE horsepower from Libre/Open Office for free ? For a 1000 employee company, that is a half Million Dollar question with a very predictable answer. Just like MS-Office has it's quirks and peculiarities, so does Open office. The switch is not quite "Same stuff, different color", but requires about the same amount of learning and adjusting as a version upgrade while staying with the same program. That is definitely no deterrent to switching. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A wild-eyed man dressed like Napoleon with his right hand inside his coat entered the psychiatrist's office and nervously exclaimed, "Doctor, I need your help right away." "I can see that. Lie down on the couch and tell me about your problem." "I don't have a problem. In fact, as Emperor of France, I have everything I could possibly want. Money, women, power, everything! But I'm afraid my wife, Josephine, is in deep mental trouble." "I see," said the doctor. "And what seems to be her problem?" "For some strange reason, she thinks she's Mrs. Schwartz."
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Bubba and Clem find three hand grenades and decide to take them to the police station. "What if one of them explodes before we get there?" asks Clem. "Don't worry about it," says Bubba. "We'll just lie and tell them we only found two." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Spices and Seasoning One of the keys to cooking from scratch is having a good supply of quality spices. Keep an eye open for sales or buy spices in large containers from a warehouse store or by weight in some health stores and refill your spice bottles. ____________________________________________________
This is your Daily Dose of internet.
___________________________________________________ A middle-aged executive was becoming increasingly irritated by the constant ribbing he was taking from the junior employees who couldn't resist making fun of his baldness. One morning, a particularly brash trainee had the gall to run his hand across the older man's gleaming head while loudly exclaiming: "Feels just like my wife's butt." With a look of genuine curiosity, the aging executive rubbed his hand across his head. "You're right," he said, "it does!" ___________________________________________________ You've got to know about Skoal to appreciate this one. For non-cowboy types..the container for this 'snuff' is a 3" diameter, 3/4 inch thick round can, and the cowboy carries it in his back jean pocket) Prior to her trip to Texas, Buffy (a New Yorker) confided to her sorority sisters she had three goals for her trip to the Lone Star State. She wanted to taste some real Western Bar-B-Que, take in a bona fide rodeo, and have sex with a real cowboy. Upon her return, her sorority sisters were curious as to how she fared. "Let me tell you, they have a tree down there called a Mesquite and when they slow cook that brisket over that Mesquite, it's oh so good. The taste is unbelievable! And, I went to a real rodeo...Talk about athletes! Those guys wrestle full grown bulls! They ride horses at a full gallup then jump off the horses and grab the bulls by the horns and throw them to the ground! It is just incredible!" They then asked, "Well, come on, tell us, did you have sex with a real cowboy? "Are you kidding? Once I saw the outline of the condom they carry in the back pocket of their jeans, I changed my mind!" ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
While on leave, my Marine buddy and I met two nursing students from Southern California. After chatting them up awhile, the conversation turned to what we did in the service. When we told them we were in the infantry, the girls seemed very impressed, giving us big smiles as they told us how sweet that was. Since infantry and sweet are seldom used in the same sen- tence, I was a little confused. Until, that is, one of the girls said, "We admire any man who works with infants." ___________________________________________________

Today January 15 in
1559 England's Queen Elizabeth I (Elizabeth Tudor) was crowned in
Westminster Abbey. 

1624 Many riots occurred in Mexico when it was announced that all
churches were to be closed. 

1777 The people of New Connecticut (now the state of Vermont)
declared their independence. 

1863 "The Boston Morning Journal" became the first paper in the
U.S. to be published on wood pulp paper. 

1870 A cartoon by Thomas Nast titled "A Live Jackass Kicking a
Dead Lion" appeared in "Harper's Weekly." The cartoon used the
donkey to symbolize the Democratic Party for the first time. 

1892 "Triangle" magazine in Springfield, MA, published the rules
for a brand new game. The original rules involved attaching a
peach baskets to a suspended board. It is now known as

1913 The first telephone line between Berlin and New York was

1936 The first, all glass, windowless building was completed in
Toledo, OH. The building was the new home of the Owens-Illinois
Glass Company Laboratory. 

1943 The Pentagon was dedicated as the world's largest office
building just outside Washington, DC, in Arlington, VA. The
structure covers 34 acres of land and has 17 miles of corridors. 

1955 The first American solar-heated, radiation-cooled house was
built by Raymond Bliss in Tucson, AZ. 

1973 U.S. President Nixon announced the suspension of all U.S.
offensive action in North Vietnam. He cited progress in peace
negotiations as the reason. 

1986 President Reagan signed legislation making Martin Luther
King, Jr.'s birthday a national holiday to be celebrated on the
third Monday of January. 

1987 Paramount Home Video reported that it would place a
commercial at the front of one of its video releases for the
first time. It was a 30-second Diet Pepsi ad at the beginning of
"Top Gun." 

2001 Wikipedia was launched. 

2003 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the U.S. Congress had
permission to repeatedly extend copyright protection. 

2006 NASA's Stardust space probe mission was completed when it's
sample return capsule returned to Earth with comet dust from
comet Wild 2. 

2018  smiled.

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