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Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday, March 2

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Two arrested in brawl over crab legs at Alabama buffet

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Today, March 2 in
1998 Images from the American spacecraft Galileo indicated that
the Jupiter moon Europa has a liquid ocean and a source of
interior heat. 
More of today in history at History
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If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
There are 10^11 stars in the galaxy. That used to be a huge number. But it's only a hundred billion. It's less than the national deficit! We used to call them astronomical numbers. Now we should call them economical numbers. --- Richard Feynman (1918 - 1988) Wise sayings often fall on barren ground, but a kind word is never thrown away. --- Arthur Helps ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Two friends, one an optimist and the other a pessimist, could never quite agree on any topic of discussion. One day the optimist decided he had found a good way to pull his friend out of his continual pessimistic thinking. The optimist owned a hunting dog that could walk on water. His plan? Take the pessimist and the dog out duck hunting in a boat. They got out into the middle of the lake, and the optimist brought down a duck. The dog immediately walked out across the water, retrieved the duck, and walked back to the boat. The optimist looked at his pessimistic friend and said, "What do you think about that?" The pessimist replied, "That dog can't swim, can he?" Luckily the pessimist was wearing a life jacket when he got tossed into the water. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A teacher was finishing up a lesson on the joys of discovery and the importance of curiosity. "Where would we be today," she asked, "if no one had ever been curious?" One child quietly spoke up from the back of the room. "In the Garden of Eden?" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Thanks to Moe for the mug shot of yesterday's bonehead, the guy who backed his pick-up into a clothing store, loaded it up with $800 worth of clothing, then hit a door frame on the way out and smoked his tires and the carpet to get unstuck. Apparently Ronald Parks has quite a big rap sheet. ___________________________________________________ Reported by Helen An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by John Chapman, Chequita Jenkins, Huntsville, Alabama Two arrested in brawl over crab legs at Alabama buffet Customers at an Alabama buffet were boiling mad while waiting in line for crab legs and took to using tongs as weapons during a brawl at the eatery, police said. Customers at the Meteor Buffet in Huntsville had been waiting in line for 10 to 20 minutes for crab legs, police said. The eager diners were waiting for the next tray to come out when they rushed to serve themselves. "They'd been waiting there for the crab legs for a good 10, 20 minutes. When they finally came out, it's very heated. Especially if someone is taking more than their fair share," said Huntsville police officer Gerald Johnson, who was eating at the restaurant when the melee broke out. Some diners began using tongs as swords and shattering plates. Customers John Chapman and Chequita Jenkins were arrested. Jenkins was at the $10.58 per-plate buffet with her kids. "There's a woman who's beating a man," Johnson said. "People are moving around, plates are shattering everywhere." Chapman suffered a cut to his head and Jenkins was not harmed. Chapman is facing disorderly conduct and Jenkins is charged with third-degree assault.
>From Lee Re: W10 Explorer icon view ? Dear DearWebby Something seems to have changed in my Windows Explorer. Up until recently when I used the large icon view I could see a snap shot from the video in a video file. I use VLC to view files. Now I only see the VLC icon. I have Windows 10 Home. Thanks for your continued support and interesting/funny daily news. Lee Dear Lee If you are setting the view as Large Icons and you intend to view thumbnails (instead of icon placeholders which won't show you a picture preview), then you will also want to ensure that your PC Performance Settings allows for thumbnail views. To do so: Click Start and then right click This PC, and choose Properties. The System window will appear; click the Advanced system settings link at the top left of the window. The System Properties window will appear; look for the Performance heading and click the Settings button. The Performance Options window will appear; under the Visual Effects tab, ensure that "Show thumbnails instead of icons" has a check mark beside it, then click Apply and OK to close the window. Have Fun! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A guy goes to a doctor and says: "Doctor, my wife has lost her voice, a week ago...." "And you are worried she'll find it again ?"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Mrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of her arithmetic classes: "A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?" After a very long silence in the classroom, Little Morris raised his hand. The teacher called on Little Morris for his answer. With complete sincerity in his voice, Little Morris answered, "A lawyer!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Training Wheels on a Wheelbarrow The other day at a farm, I saw a wheelbarrow with bicycle training wheels on it. It wouldn't turn quite as sharply around corners but it was much more difficult to tip over. A good way to reuse those training wheels your kid has outgrown. Two-wheeled yard carts are often lighter than wheelbarrows, and cheaper. Those with tall wheels roll even easier than regular wheel barrows. For small chores a seed/fertilizer spreader works just as well. Have FUN! DearWebby Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Beautiful desert wildflowers in bloom now.
___________________________________________________ Three ministers are having lunch one day and complaining about sudden infestations of bats in their churches. "I've had those things in my loft and attic all summer," one says. "I've tried everything -- noise, spray, cats. Nothing seems to scare them away." "Yeah, me too," the second minister says. "I've got hundreds living in my belfry and in the attic. I've even had the place fumigated and they won't go away." "I had a problem with them, too," the third minister says. "But I baptized all mine and made them members of the church. Then I passed the collection plate. Haven't seen one back since." ___________________________________________________ A patient mentions his concerns to his doctor during his annual physical. "Isn't there some kind of memory medicine you can give me?" he asks. "I'm getting terribly forgetful. I lose track of where I'm going or what I'm supposed to do when I get there. What should I do?" "Pay me in advance," the doctor, says. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Bill Gates dies and goes to heaven, where St. Peter commends him for his innovative work with computers and shows him his reward -- a beautiful 10-room house with spacious grounds and a tennis court. Gates is pleased and spends many months enjoying the amenities of heaven. One day, however, he is enjoying one of heaven's many fine parks when he meets a man dressed in a fine tailored suit. "That is a nice suit, my friend," says Gates. "Where did you get it?" "Actually," the man replies, "I was given 100 of these when I got here. I've been treated really well. I got a mansion on a hill, a 500-acre estate, a golf course and three Rolls-Royces." "Were you a Pope or a doctor healing the sick?" Gates asks him. "No," says his new friend. "Actually, I was the captain of the Titanic." Perturbed, Gates stalks off to find St. Peter. "How could you give me a paltry new house, while you're showering new cars, a mansion and fine suits on the captain of the Titanic?" Gates demands. "I invented the Windows operating system. Why does he deserve better?" "Well," says St. Peter, "you have to realize that the Titanic only crashed once. And furthermore, when the Titanic crashed, people prayed. Every time Windows crashes, they curse." ___________________________________________________

Today March 2 in
1807 The U.S. Congress passed an act to "prohibit the importation
of slaves into any port or place within the jurisdiction of the
United States... from any foreign kingdom, place, or country." 

1836 Texas declared its independence from Mexico and an ad
interim government was formed. 

1861 The U.S. Congress created the Territory of Nevada. 

1877 In the U.S., Rutherford B. Hayes was declared the winner of
the 1876 presidential election by the U.S. Congress. Samuel J.
Tilden, however, had won the popular vote on November 7, 1876. 

1897 U.S. President Cleveland vetoed legislation that would have
required a literacy test for immigrants entering the country. 

1899 Mount Rainier National Park in Washington was established by
the U.S. Congress. 

1900 The U.S. Congress voted to give $2 million in aid to Puerto
Rico. 

1901 The first telegraph company in Hawaii opened. 

1903 The Martha Washington Hotel opened for business in New York
City. The hotel had 416 rooms and was the first hotel exclusively
for women. 

1906 A tornado in Mississippi killed 33 and did $5 million in
damage. 

1907 In Hamburg, Germany, dock workers went on strike after the
end of the night shift. British strike breakers were brought in.
The issue was settled on April 22, 1907. 

1908 In New York, the Committee of the Russian Republican
Administration was founded. 

1908 In Paris, Gabriel Lippmann introduced three-dimensional
color photography at the Academy of Sciences. 

1917 The Russian Revolution began with Czar Nicholas II
abdicating. 

1917 Citizens of Puerto Rico were granted U.S. citizenship with
the enactment of the Jones Act. 

1925 State and federal highway officials developed a nationwide
route-numbering system and adopted the familiar U.S. shield-
shaped, numbered marker. 

1933 The motion picture King Kong had its world premiere in New
York. 

1939 The Massachusetts legislature voted to ratify the Bill of
Rights to the U.S. Constitution. These first ten amendments had
gone into effect 147 years before. 

1946 Ho Chi Minh was elected President of Vietnam. 

1949 The B-50 Superfortress Lucky Lady II landed in Fort Worth,
TX. The American plane had completed the first non-stop around-
the-world flight. 

1962 Wilt 'The Stilt' Chamberlain scored 100 points against the
New York Knicks 169-147. Chamberlain broke several NBA records in
the game. 

1969 In Toulouse, France, the supersonic transport Concorde made
its first test flight. 

1984 The first McDonald's franchise was closed. A new location
was opened across the street from the old location in Des
Plaines, IL. 

1985 The U.S. government approved a screening test for AIDS that
detected antibodies to the virus that allowed possibly
contaminated blood to be kept out of the blood supply. 

1986 Corazon Aquino was sworn into office as president of the
Philippines. Her first public declaration was to restore the
civil rights of the citizens of her country. 

1987 The U.S. government reported that the median price for a new
home had gone over $100,000 for the first time. 

1989 Representatives from the 12 European Community nations all
agreed to ban all production of CFCs (chlorofluorocarbons) by the
end of the 20th century. 

1995 Russian anti-corruption journalist Vladislav Listyev was
killed by a gunman in Moscow. 

1995 Nick Leeson was arrested for his role in the collapse of
Britain's Barings Bank. 

1998 Images from the American spacecraft Galileo indicated that
the Jupiter moon Europa has a liquid ocean and a source of
interior heat. 

2000 In Great Britain, Chile's former President Augusto Pinochet
Ugarte was freed from house arrest and allowed to return to
Chile. Britain's Home Secretary Jack Straw had concluded that
Pinochet was mentally and physically unable to stand trial.
Belgium, France, Spain and Switzerland had sought the former
Chilean leader on human-rights violations. 

2003 Over the Sea of Japan, there was a confrontation between
four armed North Korean fighter jets and a U.S. RC-135S Cobra
Ball. No shots were fired in the encounter in international
airspace about 150 miles off North Korea's coast. The U.S. Air
Force announced that it would resume reconnaissance flights on
March 12. 

2004 NASA announced that the Mars rover Opportunity had
discovered evidence that water had existed on Mars in the past. 

2011 Steve Jobs unveiled Apple's iPad 2. 

2016 The U.N. Security Council unanimously approved sanctions on
North Korea that included mandatory inspections of cargo leaving
and entering North Korea, a ban on all sales and transfers of
small arms and light weapons and expulsion of diplomats that
engage in "illicit activities." The sanctions were in reaction to
the latest nuclear test and rocket launch in defiance of a ban on
all nuclear-related activity. 

2016 Astronaut Scott Kelly returned to Earth after 340 days in
space aboard the International Space Station. 

2019  smiled.


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