Twisted Sister 

Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, March 12

Today, March 12 in
1888 The "Blizzard of '88" began along the U.S. Atlantic Seaboard
shutting down communication and transportation lines. More than
400 people died.(March 11-14) 

1755 In North Arlington, NJ, the steam engine was used for the
first time in America. 
More of today in history at History
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Today's Bonehead Aw3ard: Fake Arizona nun busted for trafficking fentanyl ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ There are three rules for writing the novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are. --- W. Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965) Freedom of the press is limited to those who own one. --- A. J. Liebling (1904 - 1963) Girls are always running through my mind. They don't dare walk. --- Andy Gibb _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ When her late husband's will was read, a widow learned he had left the bulk of his fortune to another woman. Enraged, she rushed to change the inscription on her spouse's tombstone. "Sorry, lady," said the stonecutter. "Per your request, I inscribed 'Rest in Peace' already on it. I can't change it now." "Very well," she said grimly. "Just add, `Until We Meet Again!'" ______________________________________________________ Tibet _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Esther Gomez De Aguilar, 53, Jose Aguilar Diaz, 52, Yuma, Arizona Fake Arizona nun busted for trafficking fentanyl This is one twisted sister! An Arizona woman dressed as a nun — and carrying a Bible on her lap — was busted trafficking $90,000 in the synthetic opioid drug fentanyl, according to police. Esther Gomez De Aguilar, 53, of Yuma was sporting a veil while driving with her husband when an officer pulled them over for a traffic violation in Eloy on Monday, Pinal County cops said. The cop, who unleashed a drug-sniffing dog, searched De Aguilar and found pounds of fentanyl powder and pills in her purse and stashed under her clothes, police said in a Facebook post. The couple was hauling a total of 8.5 pounds of fentanyl — enough to kill hundreds of people, cops said. “You can see they will use any means to conceal what they are doing,” Pinal County Sheriff Mark Lamb said in a Facebook post. “Fentanyl is extremely dangerous. All it takes is the equivalent of 4 to 5 grains the size of sand to kill you.” De Aguilar and her husband, Jose Aguilar Diaz, were charged with possession and transportation of narcotics for sale.
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A woman went into a hardware store to purchase a bale of peat moss. She gave a personal check in payment and said to the clerk, "I suppose you will want some identification." He replied, without hesitation, "No ma'am, that won't be necessary." "How come?" asked the woman. "Crooks don't buy peat moss." answered the clerk.
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Early in the Civil War, when the Union armies were suffering repeated defeats, Abraham Lincoln was discussing the war situation with his cabinet. "How many men do you estimate are in the Confederate army?" a cabinet member asked. "About a million and a half," said Lincoln. "That many?" said another member. "I thought the number was considerably less." "So did I," said Lincoln, "but every time one of our generals lose a battle, he insists that he was outnumbered three to one - and we have about 500,000 men." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Rain Checks If a store runs out of an item that is on sale, ask them for a rain check. Rain checks allow you to pay the sale price for the item at a later date. If the store can't give you a rain check, take the ad to a competitor to see if they will price match. ____________________________________________________
Photo of one in a million yellow cardinal.
___________________________________________________ The local high school has a policy that the parents must call the school if a student is to be absent for the day. Alice deciding to skip school and go to the mall with her friends. So she waited until her parents had left for work and called the school herself. "Hi, I'm calling to report that Alice is unable to make it to school today because she is ill." Secretary at high school answered, "I'm sorry to hear that. I'll note her absence. Who is this calling please?" "This is my mother." ___________________________________________________ "I'm ashamed of you," the mother said. "Fighting with your best friend is a terrible thing to do!" "He threw a rock at me!" the boy said. "So I threw one at him." The mother stated emphatically, "When he threw a rock at you, you should have come to me." The boy quickly replied, "What good would that have done? My aim is much better than yours." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
After years of his wife's pleading, the rich, good old boy finally went with her to her little local Church on Sunday morning. He was so moved by the preacher's sermon that on the way out he stopped to shake his hand. He said, "Reverend, that was the best damn sermon I ever did hear!" The Preacher replied, "Oh!! Why, thank you sir, but please, I'd appreciate it if you didn't use profanity in the Lord's house." "I'm sorry Reverend, but I can't help myself. It was such a damn good sermon, sir!" "PLEASE, I cannot have you behaving this way in Church!" "Okay Reverend, but I just wanted you to know that I thought it was so damn good, I put $5,000.00 in that there collection box." "HOT DAMN, that's damn generous !" ___________________________________________________

Today March 12 in
1496 Jews were expelled from Syria. 

1609 The Bermuda Islands became an English colony. 

1664 New Jersey became a British colony. King Charles II granted
land in the New World to his brother James (The Duke of York). 

1755 In North Arlington, NJ, the steam engine was used for the
first time in America. 

1809 Britain signed a treaty with Persia forcing the French to
leave the country. 

1857 "Simon Boccanegra" by Verdi debuted in Venice. 

1884 The State of Mississippi authorized the first state-
supported college for women. It was called the Mississippi
Industrial Institute and College. 

1889 Almon B. Stowger applied for a patent for his automatic
telephone system. 

1894 Coca-Cola was sold in bottles for the first time. 

1903 The Czar of Russia issued a decree providing for nominal
freedom of religion throughout his territory. 

1905 In Rome, Premier Giovanni Giolli was forced out of office by
continued civil strife. 

1906 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that corporations must yield
incriminating evidence in anti-trust suits. 

1909 The British Parliament increased naval appropriations for

1909 Three U.S. warships were ordered to Nicaragua to stem the
conflict with El Salvador. 

1911 Dr. Fletcher of Rockefeller Institute discovered the cause
of infantile paralysis. 

1912 The Girl Scout organization was founded. The original name
was Girl Guides. 

1923 Dr. Lee DeForest demonstrated phonofilm. It was his
technique for putting sound on motion picture film. 

1930 Ghandi began his 200-mile march to the sea that symbolized
his defiance of British rule over India. 

1933 President Paul von Hindenburg dropped the flag of the German
Republic and ordered that the swastika and empire banner be
side by side. 

1933 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt presented his first
presidential address to the nation. It was the first of the
"Fireside Chats." 

1935 Parimutuel betting became legal in the State of Nebraska. 

1938 The "Anschluss" took place as German troops entered Austria.

1940 Finland surrendered to Russia ending the Russo-Finnish War. 

1944 Britain barred all travel to Ireland. 

1947 U.S. President Truman established the "Truman Doctrine" to
help Greece and Turkey resist Communism. 

1959 The U.S. House joined the U.S. Senate in approving the
statehood of Hawaii. 

1966 Bobby Hull, of the Chicago Blackhawks, became the first
National Hockey League (NHL) player to score 51 points in a
single season. 

1974 "Wonder Woman" debuted on ABC-TV. The show later went to

1984 Lebanese President Gemayel opened the second meeting in five
years calling for the end to nine-years of war. 

1985 The U.S. and the U.S.S.R. began arms control talks in

1985 Larry Bird (Boston Celtics) scored a club-record 60 points
against the Atlanta Hawks. 

1985 Former U.S. President Richard M. Nixon announced that he
planned to drop Secret Service protection and hire his own
bodyguards in an effort to lower the deficit by $3 million. 

1987 "Les Miserables" opened on Broadway. 

1989 Prime Minister Sadiq al Mahdi of Sudan formed a new cabinet
to end civil war. 

1989 About 2,500 veterans and supporters marched at the Art
Institute of Chicago to demand that officials remove an American
flag placed on the floor as part of an exhibit. 

1992 Mauritius became a republic but remained a member of the
British Commonwealth. 

1993 In the U.S., the Pentagon called for the closure of 31 major
military bases. 

1993 Janet Reno was sworn in as the first female U.S. attorney

1994 A photo by Marmaduke Wetherell of the Loch Ness monster was
confirmed to be a hoax. The photo was taken of a toy submarine
with a head and neck attached. 

1994 The Church of England ordained its first women priests. 

1998 Astronomers cancelled a warning that a mile-wide asteroid
might collide with Earth saying that calculations had been off by
600,000 miles. 

1999 Hungary, Poland and the Czech Republic became members of the
North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO). All three countries
were members of the former Warsaw Pact. 

2002 U.S. homeland security chief Tom Ridge unveiled a color-
coded system for terror warnings. 

2002 Conoco and Phillips Petroleum stockholders approved a
proposed merger worth $15.6 billion. 

2003 In Utah, Elizabeth Smart was reunited with her family nine
months after she was abducted from her home. She had been taken
on June 5, 2002, by a drifter that had previously worked at the
Smart home. 

2003 The U.S. Air Force announced that it would resume
reconnaissance flights off the coast of North Korea. The flights
had stopped on March 2 after an encounter with four armed North
Korean jets. 

2009 It was announced that the Sears Tower in Chicago, IL, would
be renamed Willis Tower. 

2019  smiled.

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