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Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday, March 14
PIE DAY!

Thank you, Michael!!
Thank you, Bill!!


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Today, March 14 in
1958 The U.S. government suspended arms shipments to the Batista
government of Cuba ensuring the victory of  Castro and the
Communists. 
More of today in history at History
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Today's Bonehead Aw3ard: Two Memphis officers arrested hours apart are latest in string of officer arrests ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The whole dream of democracy is to raise the proletarian to the level of stupidity attained by the bourgeois. --- Gustave Flaubert (1821 - 1880) "To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost." ---Gustave Flaubert "The only way to avoid being miserable is not to have enough leisure to wonder whether you are happy or not." --- George Bernard Shaw _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ From Jean A 'Republican' is Sitting in a Bar A union boss walks in from the factory next door and is about to order a beer when he sees a guy at the far end of the bar wearing a TRUMP Make America Great Again cap with two beers sitting in front of him. The union boss doesn't need to be an Einstein to know that this guy is a Republican, so he shouts over to the bartender so loudly that everyone can hear, "Drinks for everyone in here, bartender.... but not for the ‘Republican'. Soon after the drinks have been passed out, the Republican gives him a big smile, waves at him then says, "Thank you!" in an equally loud voice. This infuriates the 'Union Boss'. After a few minutes, the union boss once again loudly orders drinks for everyone except the Republican. As before, this doesn't seem to bother the Republican. He nods and smiles, and again yells, "Thank you!" A few more minutes pass and the union boss orders another round of drinks for everyone except the Republican. Frustrated that he can't seem to get the guy angered, the union boss asks the bartender, "What is wrong with that Republican? I've ordered three rounds of drinks for everyone in the bar but him, and all the dummy does is smile and thank me. Is he nuts...?" "Nope," replies the bartender. “He owns the place." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Xavier Chin, 20, Seminole County, Floriduh Two Memphis officers arrested hours apart are latest in string of officer arrests While Memphis always has a lot of officers arrested and in the clink, it is relatively rare that they arrest two within hours in separate incidents. The first arrest happened just before 9 p.m. Thursday, when police said Officer Dartelle Joyner got into a fight with a woman inside of an East Memphis restaurant. Police said a security guard tried to break it up, which is when the nine-year veteran of the police department allegedly went to his car, got an axe and used it to threaten the security guard. The security guard managed to disarm and arrest Officer Dartelle Joyner. Less than an hour later, authorities said Ozell Toles hit a utility pole while driving under the influence. The 18-year MPD veteran now faces multiple charges. Both officers were relieved of duty pending investigations by the department. Both he and Sargent say they trust the majority of officers. The Memphis Police Department has not commented on these latest arrests.
From: David Re: Safari Dear DearWebby What's this with Safari? I thought you were solidly on the Windows side! Which browser do you really recommend now? David Dear David For max speed, the Chinese Maxthon seems to be best For max compatibility, Chrome seems best For the most tricks and gimmicks, FireFox is best For reading long text pages, Safari is best. Safari is slow, buggy and can't cope with a lot of stuff, but it's font rendering is a class better than the rest. Have Fun! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Marketing Guy: Why haven't you kept me up-to-date on this account? Ops Guy: I've cc'd you on every e-mail I sent to them! Marketing Guy: I don't have time to read my e-mails. There's too much information in them. If you send me an important e-mail, give me a call to let me know I need to check it.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Every morning during our coffee break, my co-workers and I listened to the culinary disasters of a newlywed colleague. We then tried to share some helpful hints and recipes. One day she asked us for step-by-step instructions on cooking sweet potatoes, one of her husband's favorites. "I've finally been able to make them sweet," she said, "but how do you make them orange?" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Moving Furniture and Wall Art Wrap furniture in plastic to keep them clean and together. You can also stand them on their end to save space. When you take down paintings and prints, tape hooks and nails used to hang them to the back of the frame. Use a large piece of cardboard to protect the front of prints and paintings. Thriftyfun.com It is a good idea to patch nail holes immediately, so that you don't forget one and blow your damage deposit. You can get tubes or little tubs of wall patch at most hardware stores, even pre-colored in common wall colors. In a pinch, you can fake it with a paste made from flour and water. To remove nails without damaging the wall, grab them with small vise-grips or pliers, and turn them 3 full rotations, then ease them out while continuing to turn in the same direction. Don't reverse direction! The smaller the hole, the easier it is to make it invisible. Have FUN! DearWebby ____________________________________________________
Decorative cranes by paper artist. It's hard for me to pick a favorite, they are all beautiful. See if you can pick a favorite?
___________________________________________________ >From Mona I sat with my infant son in front of the TV, hostage to my husband's channel-surfing. He eventually settled on an R-rated movie in which the actress was soon topless. "Honey, change the channel," I said, shielding my son's eyes. "He shouldn't see this." "It's okay." my husband replied. "He probably thinks it's the Food Network." ___________________________________________________ There were two good ol' boys from the South, who love to fish, and they wanted to do some ice fishing. They'd heard about it up in Canada, so they took off up there. The lake was frozen nicely. They stopped just before they got to the lake at a little bait shop and got all their tackle. One of them said, "We're gonna need an ice pick." So they got that, and they took off. In about two hours, one of them was back at the shop and said, "We're gonna need another dozen ice picks." Well, the fellow in the shop wanted to ask some questions, but he didn't. He sold him the picks, and the old boy left. In about an hour, he was back. Said, "We're gonna need all the ice picks you've got." The bait man couldn't stand it any longer. "By the way," he asked, "how are you fellows doing?" "Not very well at all," he said. "We ain't even got the boat in the water yet." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Custom at Duquesne University dictated that if a professor was ten minutes late, class was canceled. One professor arrived early for a 9 a.m. lecture. He placed his hat on his desk, and went to the faculty room. Before he knew it, it was 9:10. By the time he got back to his classroom, it was empty. The next day, he let his students have it. "When my hat is here," he fumed, "I'm here!" The following day, the professor arrived at 9 a.m. He was met by the sight of 28 hats on 28 desks -- and no students. ___________________________________________________

Today March 14 in
1489 Catherine Cornaro, Queen of Cyprus, sold her kingdom to
Venice. She was the last of the Lusignan dynasty. 

1629 A Royal charter was granted to the Massachusetts Bay Colony.


1647 During the Thirty Years War, France, Sweden, Bavaria and
Cologne signed a Treaty of Neutrality. 

1743 First American town meeting was held at Boston's Faneuil
Hall. 

1757 British Admiral John Byng was executed by a firing squad on
board HMS Monarch for neglect of duty. 

1794 Eli Whitney received a patent for his cotton gin. 

1864 Samuel Baker discovered another source of the Nile in East
Africa. He named it Lake Albert Nyanza. 

1891 The submarine Monarch laid telephone cable along the bottom
of the English Channel to prepare for the first telephone links
across the Channel. 

1900 U.S. currency went on the gold standard with the
ratification of the Gold Standard Act. 

1900 In Holland, Botanist Hugo de Vries rediscovered Mendel's
laws of heredity. 

1901 Utah Governor Heber M. Wells vetoed a bill that would have
relaxed restrictions on polygamy. 

1903 The U.S. Senate ratified the Hay-Herran Treaty that
guaranteed the U.S. the right to build a canal at Panama. The
Columbian Senate rejected the treaty. A deal was signed on
November 6, 1903 with the newly independent Panama. 

1904 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld the governments claim that the
Northern Securities Company was an illegal merger between the
Great Northern and Northern Pacific Railway companies. 

1905 French bankers refused to lend money to Russia until after
their war. 

1905 The British House of Commons cited a need to compete with
Germany in naval strength. 

1906 The island of Ustica was devastated by an earthquake. 

1912 An anarchist named Antonio Dalba unsuccessfully attempted to
kill Italy's King Victor Emmanuel III in Rome. 

1914 Henry Ford announced the new continuous motion method to
assemble cars. The process decreased the time to make a car from
12˝ hours to 93 minutes. 

1915 The British Navy sank the German battleship Dresden off the
Chilean coast. 

1918 An all-Russian Congress of Soviets ratified a peace treaty
with the Central Powers. 

1923 President Harding became the first U.S. President to file an
income tax report. 

1932 George Eastman, the founder of the Kodak company, committed
suicide. 

1936 Adolf Hitler told a crowd of 300,000 that Germany's only
judge is God and itself. 

1939 Hungary occupied the Carpatho-Ukraine. Slovakia declared its
independence. 

1943 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt became the first U.S.
President to fly in an airplane while in office. 

1945 In Germany, a 22,000 pound "Grand Slam" bomb was dropped by
the Royal Air Force Dumbuster Squad on the Beilefeld railway
viaduct. It was the heaviest bomb used during World War II. 

1947 The U.S. signed a 99-year lease on naval bases in the
Philippines. 

1947 Moscow announced that 890,532 German POWs were held in the
U.S.S.R. 

1951 U.N. forces recaptured Seoul for the second time during the
Korean War. 

1958 The U.S. government suspended arms shipments to the Batista
government of Cuba ensuring the victory of  Castro and the
Communists. 

1964 A Dallas jury found Jack Ruby guilty of the murder of Lee
Harvey Oswald. 

1978 An Israeli force of 22,000 invaded south Lebanon. The PLO
bases were hit. 

1979 The Census Bureau reported that 95% of all Americans were
married or would get married. 

1979 Near Peking, China, at least 200 people died when a Trident
aircraft crashed into a factory. 

1980 A Polish airliner crashed while making an emergency landing
near Warsaw. 87 people were killed. A 14-man U.S. boxing team was
aboard the plane. 

1981 Three Pakistani airline hijackers surrendered in Syria after
they had exchanged 100 passengers and crewmen for 54 Pakistani
prisoners. 

1983 OPEC agreed to cut its oil prices by 15% for the first time
in its 23-year history. 

1989 Imported assault guns were banned in the U.S. under
President George H.W. Bush. 

1991 The "Birmingham Six," imprisoned for 16 years for their
alleged part in an IRA pub bombing, were set free after a court
agreed that the police fabricated evidence. 

1991 Bolivian interior minister Guillermo Capobianco resigned
after U.S. officials accused him of receiving money from drug
traffickers. 

1995 American astronaut Norman Thagard became the first American
to enter space aboard a Russian rocket. 

1996 U.S. President Bill Clinton committed $100 million for an
anti-terrorism pact with Israel to track down and root out
Islamic militants. 

1998 An earthquake left 10,000 homeless in southeastern Iran. 

2002 A Scottish appeals court upheld the conviction of a Libyan
intelligence agent for the 1988 bombing of Pan Am Flight 103. A
five-judge court ruled unanimously that Abdel Basset Ali al-
Megrahi was guilty of bringing down the plane over Lockerbie,
Scotland. 

2003 Robert Blake was released from jail on $1.5 million bail.
Blake had been jailed for the murder of his wife Bonny Lee
Bakley.

2019  smiled.


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