When to switch to a Laser 

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Today is Saturday, March 23

Today, March 22 in
1981 U.S. Supreme Court upheld a law making statutory rape 
a crime for men but not women.
More of today in history at History
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award: North Carolina man faces felony charges for possessing 216 Venus flytraps ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Free advice is worth the price. --- Robert Half It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets. --- Voltaire (1694 - 1778) _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ The man, trying to start up a conversation with another man said, "Who is the ugly lady over there?" The second man said, "Why, that's my wife!" Trying to get out of an embarrassing situation, the first man said, "No, not her, the other one!" The second man said, "That's my daughter!" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Archie Lee Williams Jr., 41, Bolivia, North Carolina North Carolina man faces felony charges for possessing 216 Venus flytraps A North Carolina man faces felony charges after officers found him with 216 Venus flytraps, WWAY reports. Archie Lee Williams Jr., 41, of Bolivia, N.C., is looking at 73 counts of felony taking of a Venus flytrap. The Venus flytrap is listed as a special concern and vulnerable plant on the North Carolina Protected Plant Species list. North Carolina Wildlife Master Officer John White said tips came in for a month before they were able to catch the suspect, adding that it is difficult to track suspects down when they travel from area to area, WWAY reports. On Saturday, White learned that Venus flytraps were being poached at the Brunswick County Game Land, near Bolivia, and found Williams getting into his vehicle. Williams is being held at the Brunswick County Detention Center under a $750,000 bond. ----------------- You can buy Venus Flytrap seeds at Amazon, usually for about $5 per 100 seeds. No need to poach them from some place, where they are protected. Probably nobody except his ex wife knew that old and probably obsolete regulation.
From: Debra Re: Ink vs Laser Dear DearWebby I know you ansnwered this a few years ago, but that was before my kids and my hubby's kids got to the age, where they want to print whatever they think is cute. Now the ink bill is getting quite a nuisance. Thanks Debra Dear Debra You already answered it. When the ink bill becomes a nuisance, upgrade to Laser. With that much printing your ink squirter won't last much longer anyway. Simply make your next printer a Laser. With any luck you will have just enough time to select a suitable printer. I got a DELL 1320c color laser about a dozen years ago, and printed a LOT since then. It is still working fine. The only thing it does not like is when people pile stuff on top and jam the output tray. The jam is easy enough to clear, but that is about the only occasion for cussing it ever has. Just look around for a color laser, that fits your budget. Their prices have come down quite nicely. Have FUN! DearWebby
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The interviewer examined the job application then turned to the prospective employee. "I see you have put ASAP down for the date you are available to start, meaning as soon as possible, of course. However, I see you've put AMAP down for required salary. I don't believe I've ever seen that before, what does it mean?" The applicant replied, "As Much as Possible!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Somewhat skeptical of his son's newfound determination to become Charles Atlas, the father nevertheless followed the teenager over to the weight-lifting department, admiring a set of weights. "Please, Dad," pleaded the boy, "I promise I'll use 'em every day." "I don't know, Michael. It's really a commitment on your part," the father pointed out. "Please, Dad?" the boy continued. "They're not cheap either," the father came back. "I'll use 'em Dad, I promise. You'll see." Finally won over, the father paid for the equipment and headed for the door. From the corner of the store he heard his son yelp, "What! You mean I have to carry them to the car?" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Protect Your Mattress Put a protective cover over your mattresses. If you have kids that are prone to accidents, a vinyl cover works the best. Anyone's mattress can benefit from a mattress pad, it keeps dirt and sweat from getting into the mattress and prevents you from having to wash your mattress. Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Maybe kids of today are going to be alright after all.
___________________________________________________ Late one night during bad weather, the following was heard over the radio at an airport control tower: Helicopter Pilot: "Tower, I'm holding at 3000 over Heli-pad 1." Second voice: "NO!!! You can't be doing that! I'm holding at 3000 over that pad!" There was a brief moment of silence. First voice again: "You idiot! You're my CO-PILOT!" ___________________________________________________ A friend of mine told me about this new Husband Shopping Center where a woman could go to choose from among many men for her husband. It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing inpositive attributes as you ascended up the floors. The only rule was once you opened the door to any floor, you must choose a man from that floor and if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place. So, a couple of girlfriends go to the place to find a man as a prospective husband. First floor, the door had a sign saying: "These men have jobs and love kids." The women read the sign and say, "Well that's better than not having jobs or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up". So up they go. Second floor says: "These men have high paying jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking." Hmmm, say the girls. But, I wonder what's further up? Third floor: "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kidsand help with the housework. "Wow! say the women. Very tempting, BUT, there's more further up! And up they go. Fourth floor: "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak."Oh, mercy me. But just think! What must be awaiting us further on! So up to the fifth floor they go. The sign on that door said: "This floor is just to prove that women are impossible to please." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
An expert on whales was telling friends about some of the unusual findings he had made. "For instance," he said, "some whales can communicate at a distance of 300 miles." "What on earth would one whale say to another 300 miles away?" asked a sarcastic member of the group. "I'm not absolutely sure," answered the expert, "but it sounds something like 'Heeeeeeey! Can you hear me nowwww!?! ___________________________________________________

Today March 23 in
1026 Koenraad II crowned himself king of Italy. 

1066 The 18th recorded perihelion passage of Halley's Comet took

1490 The first dated edition of Maimonides "Mishna Torah" was

1657 France and England formed an alliance against Spain. 

1775 American revolutionary Patrick Henry declared, "give me
liberty, or give me death!" 

1794 Josiah G. Pierson patented a rivet machine. 

1806 Explorers Lewis and Clark, reached the Pacific coast, and
began their return journey to the east. 

1808 Napoleon's brother Joseph took the throne of Spain. 

1835 Charles Darwin reached Los Arenales, in the Andes. 

1836 The coin press was invented by Franklin Beale. 

1839 The first recorded printed use of "OK" [oll korrect]
occurred in Boston's Morning Post. 

1840 The first successful photo of the Moon was taken. 

1848 Hungary proclaimed its independence of Austria. 

1857 Elisha Otis installed the first modern passenger elevator in
a public building. It was at the corner of Broome Street and
Broadway in New York City. 

1858 Eleazer A. Gardner patented the cable streetcar. 

1880 John Stevens patented the grain crushing mill. The mill
increased flour production by 70 percent. 

1881 The Boers and Britain signed a peace accord ending the first
Boer war. 

1881 A gas lamp caused a fire in an opera house in Nice, France.
70 people were killed. 

1889 U.S. President Harrison opened Oklahoma for white
colonization. The "Sooners" were already there.

1901 Dame Nellie Melba, revealed the secret of her now famous

1901 It was learned that Boers were starving in British
concentration camps in South Africa. 

1901 Shots were fired at Privy Councilor Pobyedonostzev, who was
considered to be Russia's most hated man. 

1902 In Italy, the minimum legal working age was raised from 9 to
12 for boys and from 11 to 15 for girls. 

1903 The Wright brothers obtained an airplane patent. 

1903 U.S. troops were sent to Honduras to protect the American
consulate during revolutionary activity. 

1909 British Lt. Shackleton found the magnetic South Pole. 

1909 Theodore Roosevelt began an African safari sponsored by the
Smithsonian Institution and National Geographic Society. 

1910 In the Canary Islands, women offered candidates for
legislative elections. 

1912 The Dixie Cup was invented. 

1917 Austrian Emperor Charles I made a peace proposal to French
President Poincare. 

1917 In the Midwest U.S., four tornadoes kill 211 people over a
four day period. 

1918 Lithuania proclaimed independence. 

1919 Benito Mussolini founded his Fascist political movement in
Milan, Italy. 

1921 Arthur G. Hamilton set a new parachute record when he safely
jumped from 24,400 feet. 

1922 The first airplane landed at the U.S. Capitol in Washington,

1932 In the U.S., the Norris-LaGuardia Act established workers'
right to strike. 

1933 The German Reichstag adopted the Enabling Act. The act
effectively granted Adolf Hitler dictatorial legislative powers. 

1934 The U.S. Congress accepted the independence of the
Philippines in 1945. 

1936 Italy, Austria & Hungary signed the Pact of Rome. 

1937 The L.A. Railway Co. started using PCC streetcars. 

1940 "Truth or Consequences" was heard on radio for the first

1942 The Japanese occupy the Andaman Islands. 

1942 During World War II, the U.S. government began evacuating
Japanese-Americans from West Coast homes to detention centers. 

1950 "Beat the Clock" premiered on CBS-TV. 

1951 U.S. paratroopers descended from flying boxcars in a
surprise attack in Korea. 

1956 Pakistan became the first Islamic republic. It was still
within the British Commonwealth. 

1956 Sudan became independent. 

1957 The U.S. Army sold the last of its homing pigeons. 

1965 America's first two-person space flight took off from Cape
Kennedy with astronauts Virgil I. Grissom and John W. Young
aboard. The craft was the Gemini 3. 

1965 The Moroccan Army shot at demonstrators. About 100 people
were killed. 

1967 Reverend Martin Luther King Jr. called the Vietnam War the
biggest obstacle to the civil rights movement. 

1972 Evel Knievel broke 93 bones after successfully jumping 35

1980 The deposed shah of Iran, Muhammad Riza Pahlavi, left Panama
for Egypt. 

1981 U.S. Supreme Court upheld a law making statutory rape a
crime for men but not women. 

1981 CBS Television announced plans to reduce "Captain Kangaroo"
to a 30-minute show each weekday morning. 

1983 U.S. President Reagan first proposed development of
technology to intercept enemy missiles. The proposal became known
as the Strategic Defense Initiative and "Star Wars." 

1983 Dr. Barney Clark died after 112 days with a permanent
artificial heart. 

1989 A 1,000-foot diameter asteroid missed Earth by about 430,000

1989 Two electrochemists, Stanley Pons and Martin Fleischman,
announced that they had created nuclear fusion in a test tube at
room temperature. 

1990 Former Exxon Valdez Captain Joseph Hazelwood was ordered to
help clean up Prince William Sound and pay $50,000 in restitution
for the 1989 oil spill. 

1993 U.N. experts announced that record ozone lows had been
registered over a large area of the Western Hemisphere. 

1994 Luis Donaldo Colosio, Mexico's leading presidential
candidate, was assassinated in Tijuana. Mario Aburto Martinez was
arrested at the scene and confessed to the killing. 

1994 Wayne Gretzky broke Gordie Howe's National Hockey League
(NHL) career record with his 802nd goal. 

1996 Taiwan held its first democratic presidential elections. 

1998 Germany's largest bank pledged $3.1 million to Jewish
foundations as restitution for Nazi looting. 

1998 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that term limits for state
lawmakers were constitutional. 

1998 Russian President Boris Yeltsin fired his Cabinet. 

1998 The movie "Titanic" won 11 Oscars at the Academy Awards. 

1998 The German company Bertelsmann AG agreed to purchase the
American publisher Random House for $1.4 billion. The merger
created the largest English-language book-publishing company in
the world. 

1999 NATO Secretary-General Javier Solana gave formal approval
for air strikes against Serbian targets. 

2001 Russia's orbiting Mir space station plunged into the South
Pacific after its 15-years of use.

2019  smiled.

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