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Today is Tuesday, March 26

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Today, March 26 in
1945 In the Aleutians, the battle of Komandorski began when the
Japanese attempted to reinforce a garrison at Kiska and were
intercepted by a U.S. naval force.  
More of today in history at History
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Today's Bonehead Award: Florida woman shoots boyfriend with shotgun because of snoring ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ 'Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt. --- Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865) Man is so made that he can only find relaxation from one kind of labor by taking up another. --- Anatole France (1844 - 1924) _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Millie for this story: My husband, Michael, and I were at a restaurant with his boss, a rather stern older man. When Michael began a tale, which I was sure he had told before, I gave him a kick under the table. There was no response, so I gave him another poke. Still the story went on. Suddenly he stopped, grinned and said, "Oh, but I've told you this one before, haven't I?" We all chuckled and changed the subject. Later, on the dance floor, I asked my husband why it had taken him so long to get my message. "What do you mean?" he replied. "I cut the story off as soon as you kicked me." "But I kicked you twice and it still took you awhile to stop!" Suddenly we realized what had happened. Sheepishly we returned to our table. The boss smiled and said, "Don't worry. After the second one I figured it wasn't for me, so I passed it along!" ______________________________________________________ Cool Duck! _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Lorie Morin, 47, Cocoa, Floriduh Florida woman shoots boyfriend with shotgun because of snoring A woman is facing charges after police said she shot her boyfriend after an argument over his snoring, according to the Brevard County Sheriff's Office. Units were initally called out to a home on Emerald Lake Drive in unincorporated Cocoa in reference to a shooting. Upon arrival, 47-year-old Lorie Morin and her boyfriend, who is the victim of the shooting, told officials that the shooting was accidental. As officials continued to investigate, they found that the shooting occurred during an argument between the two over the victim snoring loudly, according to BCSO. Officials believe the argument escalated to the point where Morin retrieved a shotgun and shot the victim. Both the suspect and victim are believed to have been drinking leading up to the incident. The man was taken to the hospital and is currently in stable condition. Morin was charged with attempted murder and aggravated battery and was transported to the Brevard County Jail where she is being held without bond, according to online records.
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The teacher was giving her class of seven-year-olds a natural- history lesson. "Worker ants," she told them, "can carry pieces of food five times their own weight. What do you conclude from that?" One child was ready with the answer: "They don't have a union."
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To impress his date, the young man took her to a very chick Italian restaurant. After sipping some fine wine, he picked up the menu and studied it with an appraising eye. "We'll have the Giuseppe Spomdalucci," he said finally. "Sorry, sir," said the waiter. "That's the owner." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Higher Interest Savings You are using your bank's savings account, you may want to consider one of the online savings accounts. They are now offering great rates with no minimum deposit. Make sure your new account is FDIC insured so your money is safe. Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Amazing Winners of the 2018 International Landscape Photographer of the Year Contest
___________________________________________________ Thanks to Lynn for this story: Dear Webby, love your humor letter! This really happened to me at the hardware store today: My husband told me to meet him at the hardware store. While wandering through the aisles looking for him, one of the nice young ladies who worked there asked me if she could help me find something. I replied, "Oh, I'm just looking for my husband." She grinned and replied, "Afraid I can't help you with that; we used to carry husbands, but not any more; we kept getting too many returns." Lynn ___________________________________________________ A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counselling came up. "Oh, we'll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship," the wife explained. "He was a communications major in college and I majored in theater arts." "He communicates really well and I just act like I'm listening." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Thanks to Don for this one: I graduated from a private school that I didn't like much. Once I was out of there, I had no particular desire to ever contribute to their latest fund drive or athletic events. Sure enough, Alumni Affairs staff called my folks, got my current number and tracked me down. 'So, what have you been doing with yourself?' the perky alumnus asked. I responded, "Oh, not a lot. Just the same as when I was at the college: Stealing cars and running moonshine and selling dope." They have never called back. ___________________________________________________

Today March 26 in
1026 Conrad II was crowned Holy Roman Emperor by Pope John XIX. 

1799 Napoleon captured Jaffa Palestine. 

1793 The Holy Roman Emperor formally declared war on France. 

1804 The U.S. Congress ordered the removal of Indians east of
the Mississippi to Louisiana. 

1804 The Louisiana Purchase was divided into the District of
Louisiana and the Territory of Orleans. 

1885 Eastman Kodak (Eastman Dry Plate and Film Co.) produced the
first commercial motion picture film in Rochester, NY. 

1898 In South Africa, the world's first game reserve, the Sabi
Game reserve, was designated. 

1909 Russian troops invaded Persia to support Muhammad Ali as
shah in place of the constitutional government. 

1910 The U.S. Congress passed an amendment to the 1907
Immigration Act that barred criminals, paupers, anarchists and
carriers of disease from settling in the U.S. 

1913 During the Balkan War, the Bulgarians took Adrianople. 

1917 At the start of the battle of Gaza, the British cavalry
withdrew when 17,000 Turks blocked their advance. 

1937 Spinach growers in Crystal City, TX, erected a statue of
Popeye. 

1938 Herman Goering warned all Jews to leave Austria. 

1942 The Germans began sending Jews to Auschwitz in Poland. 

1945 The battle of Iwo Jima ended. 

1945 In the Aleutians, the battle of Komandorski began when the
Japanese attempted to reinforce a garrison at Kiska and were
intercepted by a U.S. naval force. 

1951 The U.S. Air Force flag was approved. The flag included the
coat of arms, 13 white stars and the Air Force seal on a blue
background. 

1953 Dr. Jonas Salk announced a new vaccine that would prevent
poliomyelitis. 

1958 The U.S. Army launched America's third successful
satellite, Explorer III. 

1962 The U.S. Supreme Court supported the 1-man-1-vote
apportionment of seats in the State Legislature. 

1971 Sheikh Mujibur Rahman declared East Pakistan to be the
independent republic of Bangladesh. 

1973 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat took over the premiership
and said "the stage of total confrontation (with Israel) has
become inevitable." 

1979 The Camp David treaty was signed by Israel and Egypt that
ended the 31-year state of war between the countries. 

1982 Ground breaking ceremonies were held in Washington, DC, for
the Vietnam Veterans Memorial. 

1983 The U.S. performed a nuclear test at the Nevada Test Site. 

1989 The first free elections took place in the Soviet Union.
Boris Yeltsin was elected. 

1991 The presidents of Argentina, Paraguay, Brazil and Uruguay
signed an agreement that established the Southern Cone Common
Market, a free-trade zone, by January 1, 1995. 

1992 In Indianapolis, heavyweight boxing champion Mike Tyson was
found guilty of rape. He was sentenced to 6 years in prison. He
only served three. 

1995 Seven of the 15 European Union states abolished border
controls. 

1996 The International Monetary Fund approved a $10.2 billion
loan for Russia to help the country transform its economy. 

1997 The 39 bodies of Heaven's Gate members are found in a
mansion in Rancho Santa Fe, CA. The group had committed suicide
thinking that they would be picked up by a spaceship following
behind the comet Hale-Bopp. 

1998 In the U.S., the Federal government endorses new HIV test
that yields instant results. 

1998 Unisys Corp. and Lockheed Martin Corp. pay a $3.15 million
fine for selling spare parts at inflated prices to the U.S.
federal government. 

1999 The macro virus "Melissa" was reported for the first time. 

1999 In Michigan, Dr. Jack Kevorkian was convicted of second-
degree murder for giving a terminally ill man a lethal injection
and putting it all on videotape on September 17, 1998 for "60
Minutes." 

2000 The Seattle Kingdome was imploded to make room for a new
football arena. 

2000 In Russia, acting President Vladimir Putin was elected
president outright. He won a sufficient number of votes to avoid
a runoff election. 

2019  smiled.


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