A Problem 


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Make formula result a clickable link in Excel  



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Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, January 31, 2011

Gullible Warming has dropped down to -30º.
The major highways are mostly bare, but town streets still have lots
of snow. Hiking down to main street and back was quite funny. 
Most of the sidewalks had been shoveled between snow falls
and had only 3 - 4 inches of snow, some were even bare.
But the street still has the last three snowfalls on it, packed in 
some areas, deep ruts in others. Would be just right for 
snowmobiles, and some were out and about.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. --- H. P. Lovecraft You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do think. --- Olin Miller
Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, "Why do you want to join the Navy, son?" "My father said it'd be a good idea, sir." "Oh? And what does your father do?" "He's in the Army, sir."
This Undeleter will securely and easily recover deleted files from your hard drives, flash drives, USB external drives, Zip drives, Firewire drives, digital camera cards, and more. This powerful recovery software can recover deleted files from just about any data loss scenarios. Is your data worth recovery?

Following some duty overseas, the officers at the Fort were planning a welcome home party and dance for the unit. Being an all male combat force, they decided to request coeds from some of the surrounding colleges to attend. The Captain called Vassar and was assured by the Dean that arrangements could be made to send over a dozen of their most trustworthy students. The Captain hesitated, then said, "Would it also be possible to send a dozen or so normal ones?"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Darwin Brown, 42 in Denver, CO Truck stolen with owner sleeping in back DENVER (UPI) -- A Denver man who has been living in his pickup truck camper said he was shocked when he woke up to find someone stealing the vehicle with him still inside. Terry Bannick, 59, said he was sleeping in bed of his 1993 Ford F-150 when he woke up at about 1:30 a.m. MST Saturday. Bannick said a man started the truck, using keys Bannick had left in the ignition, and drove the vehicle around for about 2 1/2 hours. "I tried talking to him, but he wouldn't even look at me through the sliding rear-view window, Bannick said. "I said, 'Why are you taking my truck? Where are you going?'" Bannick said he called police on his cellphone but he was unable to give a good description of his location due to his restricted views of the road from the camper. "He could hear me talking to the police," Bannick said. "I don't know what was wrong with him." Police finally caught up with the truck just as it was running out of gas. Darwin Brown, 42, was arrested and charged with auto theft and marijuana possession. He was ordered held without bail.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Merryl Re: make formula result a clickable link in Excel Dear Webby; I know how to make stuff I type into a cell a clickable URL, but that is klutzy and tedious. I need a way so that a formula can automatically generate the url from values in different locations, like basic URL, user name, and date. The instructor at the college says Excel can't do that, and anyway, that is beyond the scope of the course. A friend told me to ask dearWebby, so here I am. Merryl Dear Merryl Yes, sure Excel can do that, just not in one easy step. put a formula way over on the side, for example in colymn Z, to collect and concatenate the data into a URL. Copy that down to every cell in column Z. Then, in B2, where you want the clickable URL, put =(HYPERLINK(Z2,">>") Copy that down into every cell on column B, and it will show clickable URLs in every one of them. Have FUN! DearWebby
Reset your Windows Password if you forgot or accidentally changed it. No need to re-install Windows or an expensive service call, IF you can find a tech willing to do it without calling the cops about a potentially stolen computer. RoboForm is great, once you are booted up. This program takes care of the boot-up password, so that you CAN get to RoboForm and all your other passwords. YOUR memory might be perfect, and YOU might never make a mistake, but if somebody in your house is not quite as perfect as you are, then better get the Password Resetter

A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in Las Vegas. She's down to her last $50. Exasperated, she exclaims, "What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?" A man standing next to her, trying to calm her down, suggests, "I don't know... Why don't you play your age?" He walks away. Moments later, his attention is grabbed by a great commotion at the roulette table. Maybe, she won! He rushes back to the table and pushes his way through the crowd. The lady is lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her. The man is stunned. He asks, "What happened? Is she all right?" The operator replies, "I don't know. She put all her money on 29. When 36 came up, she just fainted!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Keep Butter from Burning Often while sauteing, my butter easily burns. To prevent this I add a small amount of oil to the mixture. By Sandy from Graettinger, IA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Fred was in the hospital after a bad accident. He was in stable condition and expected to recover soon, but relatives from far and near were there visiting him. When the pastor heard about that he decided to pop in and get re-aquainted with them all. As the preacher stood next to the bed, Ol' Fred's condition appeared to deteriorate suddenly and he frantically motioned for something to write on. The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Ol' Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then suddenly died. The preacher thought it best not to look at the note at that time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket. At the funeral, as he was finishing the message, he realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Ol' Fred died. He said, "You know, Ol' Fred handed me a note just before he died. I haven't looked at it, but knowing Fred, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all. We'll let his widow read to us the last words Fred had for us." And with that he handed the note to Fred's widow. She opened the note, and read, "Please step back. You're standing on my oxygen tube!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Three Jewish mothers are sitting on a park bench in Miami Beach talking about how much their sons love them. Sadie says, "You know the Chagall painting hanging in my living room? My son, Aaron, bought that for me for my 75th birthday. What a good boy he is, and how much he loves his mother." Minnie says,"You call that love? You know the Eldorado Cadillac I just got for Mother's Day? That's from my son Bernie. What a doll." Shirley says, "That's nothing. You know my son Stanley? He's in analysis with a psychoanalyst on Park Ave. Five session a week. And what does he talk about every session? Me."

» Funny Fishing





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IE8 Nagger 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, January 29, 2011

What are these "new" Windows and Internet Explorer 
security holes about? Should you worry or panic?

Well, for a start, those holes are not new. They have existed
for about a dozen years. What's new is talk about them.

The security hole is Internet Explorer and the way it saves
MHTML (Mime html) files. If you never save entire web pages,
including sound or video, then you got very little to worry about.

When a download form a dubious site uses the mht or mhtml
extension, stop it and delete what you downloaded.

If you use FireFox, don't worry about it. 
However, in general, try to avoid downloading entire page
packages or archives.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
"What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say." --- Ralph Waldo Emerson "There's nothing wrong with the younger generation that becoming taxpayers won't cure." --- Dan Bennett "Whatever it is the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government do it to somebody else." -- PJ Orourke
A nervous young minister, new to the church, told the flock, "For my text today, I will take the words, 'And they fed five men with five thousand loaves of bread and two thousand fishes.'" A member of the flock snicked at the preacher's snafu, raised his hand and said, "That's not much of a trick. I could do that." The minister didn't respond. However, the next Sunday he decided to repeat the text. This time he did it properly, "And they fed five thousand men with five loaves of bread and two fishes." Smiling, the minister said to the noisy man, "Could you do that, Mr. Perkins?" The member of the flock said, "I sure could." "How would you do it?" "With all the leftovers from last Sunday!"
This Undeleter will securely and easily recover deleted files from your hard drives, flash drives, USB external drives, Zip drives, Firewire drives, digital camera cards, and more. This powerful recovery software can recover deleted files from just about any data loss scenarios. Is your data worth recovery?

Mr. and Mrs. Thorne had just reached the airport in the nick of time to catch the plane for their two-week's vacation in the Bahamas. "I wish we'd brought the piano with us," said Mr. Thorne. "What on earth for?" asked his wife. "I left the tickets on it."
Thanks to Dick for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to sent in by Lillemor Public Urination Lands Fugitive In Jail Then and now JACKSONVILLE, Fla. -- A man convicted of armed robbery in Jacksonville nearly 30 years ago had been on the run since escaping from a Tampa work release center in 1983 was arrested last week after an Atlanta officer saw him urinating in public. When the man was picked up on Friday, he told police his name was Claude Brooks. Because the charge was for a civil infraction rather than criminal, he was released on bond the next day. When Fulton County authorities ran his fingerprints through a national database, they learned the man was Edward Nathan Jr., 50, who was a fugitive wanted by the Florida Department of Corrections. Hours after learning Nathan's true identity, the U.S. Marshals Office helped Atlanta police arrest Nathan on the Florida warrant. According to Florida DOC Interim Secretary Walter McNeil, Nathan waived his extradition and should be returned to Florida quickly. Nathan was serving a five-year sentence for armed robbery in Jacksonville when he walked away from the work release program on Aug. 27, 1983.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ann Re: IE8 download pestering Dear Webby; just a quick note, I enjoy your letter every day, dont ever stop it!!! I have one question for you, I keep getting this pop up about Internet Explorer 8, should I use that instead of 7? I just need to know if it is safe to d/l it, thanks and keep up the good work that you do every day, thanks for your time, have a good nite, ANN. Dear Ann IE8 has serious security holes. IE7 is not much better. Just use FireFox and don't worry about it. Have FUN! DearWebby
Reset your Windows Password if you forgot or accidentally changed it. No need to re-install Windows or an expensive service call, IF you can find a tech willing to do it without calling the cops about a potentially stolen computer. RoboForm is great, once you are booted up. This program takes care of the boot-up password, so that you CAN get to RoboForm and all your other passwords. YOUR memory might be perfect, and YOU might never make a mistake, but if somebody in your house is not quite as perfect as you are, then better get the Password Resetter

As I drove into a parking lot, I noticed that a pickup truck with a dog sitting behind the wheel was rolling toward a woman standing by the curb waiting for somebody. She seemed oblivious, so I hit my horn to get her attention. She looked up just in time to jump out of the way of the truck's path, and the vehicle bumped harmlessly into the curb and stopped. I rushed to the woman's side to see if she was all right. "I'm fine," she assured me, "but if that dog hadn't honked..."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Save Time and Money With Home Cooked Meals Convenience food and take out food does not save time. Do this test: Time yourself. Use a timer or regular clock and write down exactly how much time it took to go to and return from the fast food restaurant, deli or pizza place. Then time yourself in the kitchen, how long it takes to serve a similar but home-cooked meal. You will be amazed to see how much longer it takes to go get the convenience food. By Twilightgift from Forks, WA More at http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
“I’ve never flown before, said the nervous old lady to the pilot. “You will bring me down safely, won’t you? “All I can say ma’am,” said the pilot, “is that I’ve never left anyone up there yet!”
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Trisha got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get caught in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it." Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty five minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got caught in a snow storm, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, now you can follow me over to K-Mart"

» Discovery: Unlax





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Picture resizing 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, January 29, 2011

Today the most frequent question was about whether the US 
Government is likely to follow Egypt's example, since they
already put the legalities for that in place.

Personally, I doubt that they will do a total shut-down for
all civilians. That would be a call for instant rebellion. 
The spammers, who have leased enough senators to be able
to operate profitably, would be extremely upset. And they have
the technology to shut the government down, quickly.

It would also be extremely dangerous to suddenly give tens
of Millions of grannies and grampas on Facebook and Twitter
and AOL a whole bunch of free time instead of their social
networks. With that many people getting that much unexpected
free time, a lot of rebellion and mischief is bound to happen.

I also would not expect PayPal, eBay, Amazon, TigerDirect, etc
would just peacefully go on vacation and forget about x Million
Dollars per minute. 

In addition to that, a total shutdown by Govrnment would cause
town-wide wireless networks like the one in Denver to take over
within a day or two. There are enough laptops with wireless
capabilities out there, that the switch-over would be as simple
as borrowing a CD from a friend and running a brief install 
program, before passig the CD, - and a few copies - , on to
other friends. Revolution? You bet.

I am sure the Government is aware of that, and won't order
a complete shut-down. 

There will be more and more surveillance and pin-point action,
but I don't expect a major shut-down.

Except for the Internet Cleaning on April 1, of course '-)

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
A man is given the choice between loving women and understanding them. --- Ninon de Lenclos (1620-1705) When ideas fail, words come in very handy. --- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe I heard a definition of an intellectual, that I thought was very interesting: a man who takes more words than are necessary to tell more than he knows. --- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Little Tommy had been to a birthday party at a friends house. Knowing his sweet tooth Tommy's mother looked straight into his eyes and said, "I hope you didn't ask for a second piece of cake." "No," replied Tommy, "but I asked Mrs. Smith for the recipe so you could make some like it, and she gave me two more pieces without me asking."
This Undeleter will securely and easily recover deleted files from your hard drives, flash drives, USB external drives, Zip drives, Firewire drives, digital camera cards, and more. This powerful recovery software can recover deleted files from just about any data loss scenarios. Is your data worth recovery?

Johnny was eager to get his first job working for a bicycle rental shop. During his interview he was asked, "How are you at handling irate customers?" "I haven't had experience with irate customers," he replied, "but I'm pretty good with irate teachers and parents." He got the job.
Thanks to Sandie for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a suicide bomber in Moscow, Russia Suicide bomber forgot to turn off cell phone prior to action If proof were needed that suicide bombers are not the most intelligent people in the world, then this case in Russia is a perfect example. A range of triggers can be used for setting off the explosives strapped to a bomber’s body, with cell phones being one of those choices. The bombers don’t work alone, and a handler likes to be in control of the actual detonation in case the person carrying the bomb has a change of heart at the last minute. So a cell phone trigger allows them to watch from a safe distance while ensuring the blast happens. A planned detonation was to happen in Red Square, central Moscow on New Year’s Eve. The woman who would be the bomber is thought to be from the same group that successfully bombed Domodedovo International Airport earlier this week. The mistake the woman and her terror group made was to use an existing active cell phone as the trigger, and not keeping it turned off until seconds before the planned blast. While preparing her suicide belt at a safe house a few hours before the terrible act was meant to happen, her mobile operator sent her a Happy New Year text. That was enough to trigger the detonation killing her and making a real mess of the house. It doesn’t look as though anyone else was hurt, and her husband is already in jail serving time for being a radical Islamist terrorist. The mistake she made, and the automated text she received, probably saved tens, if not hundreds of lives.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Sharon Re: Re-Size pictures Dear Webby; Thanks for sharing today's letter w/ the beautiful pic. I love the jokes & have passed then on to many friends. I have a friend who asked me how to resize a pic from 1224X768 to 640X480? Since I use either my Kodak software program that cam with my camera or Microsoft Picture It & I am not sure what to tell her. Do you have any suggestions? Also is there a free program that I can use to edit pics I receive in the mail or from my camera should I not want to go thru Kodak? I want to have a back up idea. Thanks so much for your help. Sharon Dear Sharon Sooner or later you will need a decent graphics program. I use PSP (PaintShopPro). The best version, in my opinion, is 7A, just before Corel took them over. The current version is X3 (13) You can usually find older versions on eBay quite cheaply. Amongst the free ones, the best is GIMP. http://www.gimp.org/ Technically, it goes further than PSP or Photoshop, but it may be total overkill as far as you are concerned. You would probably use less than 1% of it's tools and capabilities. Since it is free, though, you might as well grab it, and gradually learn more and more of it. Have FUN! DearWebby
Reset your Windows Password if you forgot or accidentally changed it. No need to re-install Windows or an expensive service call, IF you can find a tech willing to do it without calling the cops about a potentially stolen computer. RoboForm is great, once you are booted up. This program takes care of the boot-up password, so that you CAN get to RoboForm and all your other passwords. YOUR memory might be perfect, and YOU might never make a mistake, but if somebody in your house is not quite as perfect as you are, then better get the Password Resetter

A reporter from New York was visiting an old colleague who now edited a newspaper in a tiny Vermont town. "I don't see how you do it," the NY reporter said. "How can you drum up interest in the news when everybody in town knows what everybody else is doing?" "Sure they know," the editor said, "but they read the paper to see who got caught at it."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Ready Made Salads In Ziploc Bowls Like many couples with no kids in the house, we don't eat as we should. Here's a way to get a few more veggies in. Take one bag of salad lettuce and divide it into 6 bowls with lids (I use 20 oz Ziploc bowls) add tomatoes, a couple of olives, sliced mushrooms, cucumbers or whatever salad veggies you want. Put them in the refrigerator. Then when you are stalking the refrigerator for something to eat, you will have a few ready made salads that you are more likely to eat first before grabbing that muffin. You only have to add the dressing and maybe a little feta and you're ready to go. They will last 2-3 days. One last thing: use grape or cherry tomatoes, it's more likely to last longer because cut up tomatoes will release more acid and gases that cause the lettuce to wilt. By melmarr from Michigan http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
An formally dressed gentleman ate a fine meal at an expensive restaurant and topped it off with some Napoleon brandy, then he summoned the headwaiter. "Do you recall," he asked pleasantly, "how a year ago, I ate just such a fine repast here, and then, because I couldn't pay for it, you had me thrown into the alley like a common bum?" "I'm very sorry sir..." began the contrite headwaiter. "Oh, it's quite all right." said the guest, "but I'm afraid I'll have to trouble you again."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A troop of Boy Scouts was being used as "guinea pigs" in a test of emergency systems. A mock earthquake was staged, and the Scouts impersonated wounded persons who were to be picked up and cared for by the emergency units. One Scout was supposed to lie on the ground and await his rescuers, but the first-aid people got behind schedule, and the Scout lay "wounded" for several hours. When the first-aid squad arrived where the casualty was supposed to be, they found nothing but a brief note: "Have bled to death and gone to McDonalds for a refill."

» Discovery: Live Earth





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No-Name subscription 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Friday, January 28, 2011
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Thank you, Trish!

Got a chuckle from the reports about Mexican drug smugglers
getting caught by electronics, when they fired packets of weed
over the fence with a catapult. That's the electronics, that were
run way over budget by congressional and senate "studies" by
appointed "experts", and had their funding cut last month.

Seems to me, they work quite well!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
The penalty for success is to be bored by the people who used to snub you. --- Nancy Astor Look wise, say nothing, and grunt. Speech was given to conceal thought. --- Sir William Osler We have too many high sounding words, and too few actions that correspond with them. --- Abigail Adams (1744-1818)
A group of expectant fathers sat nervously in the hall. A nurse beckoned to one of them and said, "Congratulations, you have a son!" Another man dropped his magazine, jumped up and cried, "Hey, what's the idea? I got here two hours before he did!"
PeopleSearch: Over 20 categories: People Search, Criminal Records, Court Records, Death Records, Military Records, Reverse Email, Reverse Phone, etc. Govt databases. Get access and the tools with People Search When you have the data, you have leverage!

While making rounds, a doctor points out an X-ray to a group of medical students. "As you can see," she says, "the patient limps because his left fibula and tibia are radically arched. Michael, what would you do in a case like this?" "Well," ponders the student, "I suppose I'd limp too."
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Lake Overholser Oklahoma City, OK
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Scott Smithers, 27, of Victoria Parade, Torquay, England Furious driver who failed to remove wheel clamp with axe set fire to his car A driver was so angry his parked car had been clamped that he set fire to it, a court has been told. Scott Smithers, 27, of Victoria Parade, Torquay, set fire to newspaper in the back seat after attempts to remove the clamp with an axe failed, Exeter Crown Court was told. He later admitted losing his temper in a drunken rage. "My brain ended up being an idiot," he told police. Judge Paul Darlow sentenced Smithers to a high level community order saying he had narrowly avoided jail because no lives had been threatened. Smithers had previously admitted an offence of arson, on June 10 last year. Prosecutor Howard Phillips said Smithers and his fiancee parked the Metro, worth £120, in Victoria Parade and went for a drink. When they returned they discovered it had been clamped. "In a drunken state this enraged him," said Mr Phillips. "He got an axe out and tried to break the clamp." When this failed he tried to set the car alight first trying to get the fuel pump from under the bonnet then taking a petrol can from the boot and pouring the contents into the vehicle. The prosecutor said the can was virtually empty so Smithers screwed up newspaper, put it in the back seat and set it alight. He girlfriend left the scene when he would not listen to her pleas to stop. The court was told he had two children whom he did not support financially. He had one previous conviction for criminal damage. Smithers was sentenced to a community order and will be supervised by probation for three years and reviewed by the court every 28 days. He said Smithers must sign up to any rehabilitation programmes offered by the probation and show a willingness to change his ways. The vehicle had been clamped as there were more than 20 outstanding penalty charge notices that had not been paid.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Fiona Re: No-name subscription Dear Webby How come my otherwise not very bright brother gets the Humor Letter greeting him with "Good Morning Leroy!", but with mine it just says "Good Morning Friend", and it feels sorta like "Dear Occupant." How does he rate personal service and I don't ? Fiona Dear Fiona When Leroy subscribed, he filled in his first name. When you subscribed, you obviously left the "First Name" field blank. I have now put Fiona in there. Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
Her minister told an eighty-year-old woman that, at her age, she should be giving some thought to what he called “the hereafter.” She said to him, “I think about it many times a day.” “Oh, really?” said the minister. “That is very wise.” “It’s not a matter of wisdom,” she replied. “It’s when I walk into a room or open a closet, I ask myself, ‘What am I here after?’”
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cleaning Mini Blinds To clean mini blinds, wear a pair of white cotton gloves. Dip gloved fingers in a solution of equal parts white vinegar and warm tap water and run your fingers across both sides of each blind. By fossil1955 from Cortez, CO http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Doctors at a hospital in Brooklyn, New York have gone on strike. Hospital officials say they will find out what the Doctors' demands are as soon as they can get a nurse over there to read the picket signs.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A tourist from the city was visiting a quaint country village, and got talking to an old man in the local pub. "And have you lived here all yourlife, sir?" asked the tourist. The old man, with a wise look, said, "Not yet."

» The Cars We Drove





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Does Spokeo invade privacy? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, January 27, 2011

Thank you, Trish!

We had a definite Chinook arch up, with warm wind darkening
the mountains every hour, with more rock and less snow showing.
There won't be any floods. The ground is too cold for that.
My bet is that a week from now, there will be a lot of snow to
sovel in Chicago.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
It takes a lot of practice for a girl to kiss like a beginner. --- Socratex Never let what you cannot do stop you from doing what you CAN do!" --- Stephen Pierce
Doctor: "I see you're over a month late for your appointment. Don't you know that nervous disorders require prompt and regular attention? What's your excuse?" Patient: "I was just following your orders, Doc." Doctor: "Following my orders? What are you talking about? I gave you no such order." Patient: "You told me to avoid people who irritate me."
PeopleSearch: Over 20 categories: People Search, Criminal Records, Court Records, Death Records, Military Records, Reverse Email, Reverse Phone, etc. Govt databases. Get access and the tools with People Search When you have the data, you have leverage!

A guy was sitting in an airplane when another guy took the seat beside him. The new guy was a wreck, pale, hands shaking, biting his nails and moaning in fear. "Hey, pal, what's the matter?" said the first guy. "I've been transferred to Los Angeles, California," the second answered. "They've got race riots, gang warfare, cops out of control, the highest crime rate....." "Hold on," said the first. "I've been in L.A all my life, and its not bad as the media says. Find a nice home, preferably an hour or tow out from downtown, go to work, mind your own business, enroll your kids in a good school and it's as safe as anywhere in the world." The second guy stopped shaking for a moment and said "Oh, thank God. I was worried to death, but if you live there and say it's ok, I'll take your word for it. .....What do you do for a living?" "Me?" said the first, "I'm a tail gunner on a bread truck." -------------- They used to tell that joke about Chicago, but according to one friend who lives there, Chicago has become safer than visiting his mother-in-law.
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Couldn't get all the branches in on the photo. - Lillemor
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jona Zeigler, 40, Moses Lake, WA Moses Lake woman runs over herself MOSES LAKE - A Moses Lake woman was run over by the truck she was driving while attempting to elude police Monday. Jona Zeigler, picture is not recent An officer contacted Jona Zeigler, 40, Moses Lake, who reportedly has a felony warrant, according to Moses Lake police Capt. Dave Sands. As the officer approached Zeigler to arrest her, while she was parked near West Broadway Avenue and South Locust Lane in Moses Lake, she reportedly drove away, according to Sands. Zeigler allegedly drove through downtown Moses Lake, with the police chasing her, ending up on Lakeview Drive near South Barbara Avenue, where she got out of her truck to start running. "She tried getting out of her car as it was rolling and tripped and was dragged underneath her vehicle," said Sands. The truck stopped on a lawn by a chain link fence. Zeigler was taken to Samaritan Hospital in Moses Lake and airlifted by helicopter to Spokane for reported injuries sustained from the incident. A Moses Lake Fire Department ambulance transported Zeigler. Police intend to arrest Zeigler for the felony warrant and felony eluding, once her health condition stabilizes, according to Sands.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Penny Re: Is Spokeo a privacy invasion? Dear Webby What can you tell me about this? Should I remove myself? Is it a scam to get more info on me, Or to get money to stay off the list? Thanks Penny "Spokeo - New Online Phone Book - where do they get this info - be careful Spokeo: You don’t even have to have a FB account to have personal information on this site – I was amazed. There's a site called spokeo.com that's a new online USA phone book with personal information: everything from pics you've posted on FB or web, your approx credit score, home value, income, age, children, etc! Remove yourself by searching your name, find the URL of your page, then go to the bottom right corner of the page and click on the Privacy button to remove yourself. Copy & re-post so your FB friends are aware " Dear Penny Yes, they do indeed have a lot of information about you. http://www.spokeo.com/email/search?e=*****penny@yahoo.com , though not nearly as much as you can find with a paid PeopleSearch program, like the one I list in the Humor Letter. And probably not nearly as accurate by a long shot either. Some of the stuff on Spokeo is totally wacky. For example, they put me and Ophelia at the same address, in Virginia, USA! I live in Black Diamond, Ophelia lives in Calgary. Both in Canada. We both use servers in the big server farm in the hub of the Internet right behind the Pentagon That's in Virginia, USA. The same probably applies to a lot of their information. Clicking your information to private on Spokeo means absolutely nothing. There are lots of other sites doing exactly the same, and more every day. If you are concerned about privacy, about all you can do is get a lot of goofy and conflicting info out there. Since you are a yahoo, that is more or less expected from you anyway. You can't change the info available in your town's phone book, land titles office, vehicle registration and similar public info, but you sure can confuse the issue with Yahoo, FaceBook, Myspace, Twitter, etc. profiles. If somebody wants juicy gossip about you, overload them with it! Totally wacky, of course. Tell them about your 27 kids! Change your occupation from clerk to mudwrestler. Tell them your hobby is terrorizing and murdering nubile dust bunnies, or seducing under-age soap bubbles. Just have a ball and make the info available on you totally ridiculous. Spokeo and all those sites don't have real people gumshoeing around. They simply harvest automatically what you and the Government have put out there in the open, and put it into a nice package. So, since you can't stop them, just make them look silly. Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
A man was standing first in line for tickets from those who had canceled their reservations to a sold-out play. The manager said he had two together, and pointed to the two women behind the man. "You wouldn't want to come between Mother and daughter, would you?" The man turned around, and replied, "No. I did that once, and regretted it right up until the divorce."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Make Your Own Pillowcases I can't bear to pay what stores charge for pillowcases, even on sale, so I make my own. With trial and error, I've learned that you can make 6 standard size pillow cases from one full-sized flat sheet with virtually no waste. By soup-lady from near Boston, MA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
After directory assistance gave Lisa her boyfriend's new telephone number, she dialed him -- and got a woman. "Is Mike there?" I asked. "He's in the shower," she responded. "Please tell him his girlfriend called," Lisa said and hung up. When he didn't return the call, Lisa dialed again. This time a man answered. "This is Mike," he said. "You're not my boyfriend!" Lisa exclaimed. "I know," he replied. "That's what I've been trying to tell my wife for the past half-hour."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
"I was married 3 times" explained the woman to a newly discovered bridge partner, "and I'll never marry again. My first 2 husbands died of eating poison mushrooms and my 3rd one died of a fractured skull." "That's a shame." said his friend , "How did THAT happen?" "He was a fussy eater and wouldn't eat the mushrooms."

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Classic or Flat and wide monitor? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, January 26, 2011

It seems, that some people have difficulty understanding the
difference between Radio Buttons and Check-Boxes on forms.

Radio Buttons are called that because just like with car radios,
where you can program buttons to your favorite stations,
ONE is always selected. That's how ALL forms work, always
have and always will. 

If there are radio buttons to select one of three cakes,
and further down a checkmark asking you to add gift wrapping
for a dollar, putting a checkmark on the $1 gift wrap does
not unselect the cake, that has the radio button ON.

And you don't get the selected cake for just the cost of the
gift wrap either!

So, keep in mind, if you see radio buttons, ONE of them
is always selected, either by default or by you.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it. --- Socratex Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were at home. --- Socratex
Roy was going to bed the other night when Carla told him that he had left the light on in the shed. She could see from the bedroom window. As Roy looked for hiself, he saw that there were people in the shed taking things. He phoned the police, but they told him that no one was in this area to help at this time, but they would send someone over as soon as they were available. Roy made sure they had the correct address, then said OK, hung up, and waited one minute, then phoned the police back. "Hello. I just called you a minute ago because there were people burglaring my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because my neighbor shot them all with his AK47. Now HE is in that shed! He probably has his cocaine stash in there." Within five minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, an Armed Response unit, the works. Of course, they caught the burglars red-handed. One of the officers said to Roy: "I thought you said that your neighbor shot them! " Roy replied, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
PeopleSearch: Over 20 categories: People Search, Criminal Records, Court Records, Death Records, Military Records, Reverse Email, Reverse Phone, etc. Govt databases. Get access and the tools with People Search When you have the data, you have leverage!

There was this Chinese businessman visiting a newly acquired business in the United States. As a gesture of good will, the executives of his newly acquired business took him to a golf course for a round of golf. He had never played the game before. Upon his return to China, his family asked what he had done in the United States. He replied, "Played most interesting game. Hit little white ball with long stick in large cow pasture and yell: 'Oh @#$%'."
Thanks to Simon for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. This could only happen in South Africa … in the Free State … and in the city of dear … Bloemfontein. What next will embarrass us in the International area? Bloemfontein businessman Chris Snyman shows the ticket he was issued with when a traffic cop flagged him down - the reason: Drove motor vehicle while driving….. So please don’t................ “Drive a motor vehicle while driving” Regards Simon
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Melanie Spanopoulos, 20, in Valley Stream, NY LI Woman Hits, Backs Over Friend VALLEY STREAM, N.Y. (WPIX) — A Valley Stream woman is under arrest Tuesday after escalating an argument with a friend by running her over twice with her car, Nassau County police said. Melanie Spanopoulos, 20, of 955 Oaks Drive, was sitting in her car with her 21-year-old friend in the passenger seat, when the two began to argue Monday. The argument turned into a physical fight, and her friend, who is still unidentified, got out of the car. Spanopoulos wasn't done, however, and the brawl continued outside of the car, according to police. When her friend refused to get back into the car, a furious Spanopoulos got back into the vehicle and accelerated, slamming into the victim and knocking her to the ground. Spanopolous then threw it into reverse and backed over her friend before fleeing the scene. Her victim was able to flag down a passing motorist who, at her request, drove her home. After telling her father what happened, he took her to an area hospital where she was treated for a broken pelvis, broken leg and numerous abrasions. Spanopoulos is charged with assault in the first degree, and will be arraigned Tuesday in First District Court in Hempstead, LI.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Anita Re: Classic or flat and wide monitor? Dear Webby I am buying a new computer, but I am going to listen to what you say. It is going to have W7Pro with XP pre-installed, a small 40 GB C: drive and a one TB second drive. What is still under discussion is the monitor. I have an old fashioned NEC Multisync tube type monitor, I think it is a 21", and at 1600x1200 resolution is as sharp as a high quality calendar picture. The dealer and my son, who uses W7, both say I need to get a flat screen wide monitor to use HiDefinition on it. The monitor they want me to buy has 1680 x 900, and by my figuring, that would be a step down. What do you say? Anita Dear Anita You are right and the gullible sheep are wrong. With the bottom third, between 900 and 1200, sawed off, you only see part of big pictures, and with spreadsheets or word processing documents you would have to totally change your routine. The same goes for movies. A very few look OK on a wide monitor, but most look rather crappy when compared side by side with a 4:3 monitor. There ARE 1600 x 1200 flat screen monitors available now, but they are still a bit pricey. They are more fashionable and use less electricity than your old tube type NEC, but they are not better. They are the same. You will probably still get another 3 - 4 years out of that NEC, and by then the prices for 1600 x 1200 flat screen monitors will have come down. In the meantime, save your money and enjoy your NEC. Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
Beth walked into the doctor's waiting room and couldn't find an empty seat anywhere. Finally, she walks over to one gentleman that was sitting down, and said, "I wonder if I might trouble you for your seat. You see, I'm pregnant." The gentleman groaned, and in obvious pain struggled to his feet and lurched across the room to lean on the the water fountain for support. As Beth sat down, another lady in the waiting room looked her over and said, "You know, if you hadn't told me, I never would have guessed you were pregnant. How far along are you?" Looking at her watch, she replied, "Since last night."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Pizza Cutter Uses My girl friend Michelle recently shared this tip with me. She uses her pizza wheel to cut so many things: pancakes, chicken strips, french toast, anything! Particularly useful for cutting up your child's food. When I made brownies the other day; the pizza wheel worked so much better than sawing with a knife. Try it out today! Source: Michelle C. By Heather from Swanton, VT http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
As the rookie cop passed a store he heard a noisy argument. He paused, listened again, then stepped inside to investigate. "What's going on?" he demanded. "What's all the noise about?" "It's nothing," said the Ann, proprietor. "I'm all alone!" "Wait a minute, Ma'am," said the cop. "I distinctly heard a screaming match and argument going on!" "You don't understand, officer," said the store owner. "I'm alone in the store. Business is terrible. So to pass the time away, I talk to myself, and when I talk to myself, there's bound to be an argument." "How can you argue with yourself?" asked the cop. "It's easy, said the store owner, "because I hate liars!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
May was teaching Susan, her 5-year-old grandaughter how to unbuckle her seat belt. Susan asked, "Do I click the square?" May said, "Yes." Then Susan asked: "Single click or double click?"

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For Sale 


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How often should I reboot? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Thanks Bonita!

In the morning I am sheduled to go to get blood samples taken.
The actual procedure is no big deal, I used to donate a liter of
blood every month, and I still fondly remember a nurse, who
told me to squeeze, while she was within reach. She just grinned
and told me "Not now, I have a headache!"

Blood sampling under Medicare is totally different. 
Even when I am the only one, they make me wait an hour.
The actual sampling is no big deal.

I have to fast 14 hours before the sampling. That always
sounds dreadful, the way the doctor mentions it. I guess
he is used to frequent eating and snacking and it would be 
a big deal for him. When I am busy working, time flies fast
and I often go that length of time without eating, and to me
it sounds more like a vacation from cooking than a big
deal of suffering.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
The discipline of desire is the background of character. --- John Locke He who knows others is wise; He who knows himself is enlightened. --- Lao-Tzu
The Secretary of the Navy was inspecting a recently launched carrier. The entire crew stood at attention. "I suppose," said the Secretary jokingly to the carrier's captain, "you know the name of every man on the ship." "Yes, of course," was the captain's unexpected reply. "Aha," smiled the Secretary. "What's the name of the third man from the left there in the rear rank?" "William Jones," said the captain. The Secretary addressed the seaman himself. "What's your name, lad?" he asked. "William Jones, SIR!" replied Seaman Dale Abernathy, "but you can call me Bubba."
PeopleSearch: Over 20 categories: People Search, Criminal Records, Court Records, Death Records, Military Records, Reverse Email, Reverse Phone, etc. Govt databases. Get access and the tools with People Search When you have the data, you have leverage!

Patrick in Dublin see's a job advertised on a building site: 'Handy man wanted...apply within'. So he does and speaks to the foreman. Foreman: "Can you drive a fork-lift truck?" Patrick: "No." Foreman: "Can you plaster?" Patrick: "No." Foreman: "Can you lay brick?" Patrick: "No." Foreman: "If you don't mind me asking, what's handy about you?" Patrick: "I live next door to the pub across the street."
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Gene took a couple pictures of the ( almost) ever blooming Christmas cactus. Wanted to show you some of its berries. Only one shows here.Slightly to the right of center (blossom). This plant is fantastic with its flowers and it's the only one of the asst'd cactuses of this kind that we have,that gives fruit. We'll try to get a better 'berry photo' soon. Lillemor
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Ismael Ortiz, 24, in Titusville, Florida Arsonist caught after fingertip found at crime scene Police arrested a suspect in an arsonist-for-hire in Titusville after they said he made a critical mistake — he left the tip of his finger at the scene of the crime. Meanwhile, detectives are seeking the public's help in finding the man they say was trying to pull off an insurance scam by burning down his (rented) house. Police were called to a fire at a home on North Dixie Avenue about 11:15 a.m. Saturday. While they were investigating, police said, they discovered evidence of accelerants, leading them to determine that the fire was likely an arson. Then, while sifting through evidence, officers got a tip — literally. They found a piece of a latex glove with the tip of a finger inside. Police said they found their suspect at a local hospital. They matched the tip to 24-year-old Ismael Ortiz, who detectives said quickly confessed. But how did the suspect clip his tip? Detective Jessica Edens explained: Trying to flee after setting the fire, "he slammed his finger in the door," Edens said, "and it cut the tip of his finger off." Police said Ortiz told detectives he was hired by a resident of the home, Samuel "Sammy" Davis. Investigators said Davis hired Ortiz to burn down the house so he could collect on a renters insurance policy. Police said they recovered several pieces of evidence, including items they said Davis hid "so that they would be spared from the fire." Edens said Ortiz was arrested and booked into the Brevard County Jail. Police are still looking for Davis. He was described as 58 years old and bald with gray facial hair and blue eyes.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Judy Re: How often should I reboot? Dear Webby I am using my computer just for work, email, and the odd bit of reasonably careful browsing, just to legitimate businesses and banks. How often should I reboot? The old klunker takes forever to reboot, and sometimes I wonder if it will still make it. But it does slow down if I don't occasionally reboot. Judy Dear Judy That would depend on your protection. I use McAfee and Registry Booster, and I too am careful about where I browse to, but after 3 - 4 weeks the machine gets slow, especially the File Explorer. So I save everything, close all open programs, which can be quite a lot, and reboot. The reboot doesn't take anywhere near as long, if you shut down all programs first. After that, work on that five year old XP is faster than on the half year old Windows7 machine beside it. I used to use all kinds of different utilities to tweak and clean the computers, but I found that the Registry Booster Power Suite does all that is necessary, and reboots are painless and not scary any more. Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not seeing one another for some time. after inquiring about each other's health one asked how the other's husband was doing. "Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to get a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped dead, right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!" "Oh dear! I'm very sorry," replied her friend. "What did you do?" "Opened a can of peas instead!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Spaghetti to Test When Baking If baking a cake and you are out of toothpicks to test to see if it is done, use a piece of uncooked spaghetti instead. By Sandy from Graettinger IA Uncooked spaghetti also works great to light gas furnaces, fireplaces, BBQs, candles, etc. Have FUN! DearWebby http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
The nice part about living in a small town: When you don't know what you're doing, someone else always does.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The truck driver looked suspiciously at the soup he had just been served in a backwoods eatery. It contained dark flecks of seasoning, but two of the spots were suspicious. “Hey,” he called out to the waitress, “these things in my soup ­ aren’t they foreign objects?” She is scrutinizing his bowl. “No, sir!” she reassured him. “Those things live around here.”

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Some pictures not showing in mails I send 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, January 24, 2011

No more Govt grants for THAT guy!
(If anyody at the White House catches on, which is not likely.)
http://snipurl.com/anti-us-song-at-whitehouse

During the Korea war, China and the US were enemies.
"Battle on Shangganling Mountain" was the theme song of a
famous anti-U.S. movie about  the Korean war, sort of the 
Chinese equivalent of the of "MASH" series.

And he was chosen and paid by the White House!
That guy has more guts than all the MASH characters together.

Korean war vets are not impressed.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
"Grub first, then ethics" --- Bertolt Brecht "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." --- Eleanor Roosevelt "I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past." --- Thomas Jefferson
A tough old cowboy once counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning. The grandson did this religiously and he lived to the age of 93. When he died, he left 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 35 great grandchildren and a fifteen foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.
PeopleSearch: Over 20 categories: People Search, Criminal Records, Court Records, Death Records, Military Records, Reverse Email, Reverse Phone, etc. Govt databases. Get access and the tools with People Search When you have the data, you have leverage!

Highly recommended reading: "Thirty yards to the outhouse" by Will E. Makeit (illustrated by Betty Wont)
Thanks to Sandie for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Orchids
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Thomas Zenon and Miguel Guzman in Manhattan, NY Business cards led to drug bust NEW YORK, Jan. 22 (UPI) -- New York police said they arrested two men accused of running a high-end cocaine and marijuana business they advertised with business cards. Investigators said an informant found the business cards advertising the drug-dealing services of Thomas Zenon and Miguel Guzman in a New York University dorm, and undercover officers made 12 buys during a three-month period, the New York Daily News reported Friday. Police said Zenon and Guzman, who were arrested Wednesday, had more than 200 customers in the Manhattan borough. The men were scheduled to be arraigned on drug charges Friday. Officers said Guzman was en route to a delivery when he was arrested Wednesday and was holding 16 grams of cocaine, more than $1,600 cash and four cellphones. Zenon was arrested at a restaurant with more than $600 in addition to 20 bags of marijuana found in his car. Read more: http://snipurl.com/bizcardstojail [www_upi_com]
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Frank Re: Some of my pictures don't show in emails Dear Webby About half of the pictures, that I send, show up OK, but the other half doesn't. What's the problem? Frank Dear Frank Most likely you have spaces in the file name. Spaces in a name are usually OK while on the same machine, but they are not standard, and not interpreted in any standard way. Mac's always allowed spaces, and use their own method to handle them. UNIX and DOS and Linux don't allow spaces. Then some wimps at Microsoft decided to go against Bill Gates's standards, just to make the rare Mac convert happy. Mac people rarely convert to PC. They are like Harley riders. It's not about performance or reliability or features, it's a cult. As usual, when somebody lowers their standard, things turn into a sloppy mess. Some parts of Windows handle spaces in file names, other parts don't. People with Macs will see your pictures without any problem. Their machines know how to handle spaces in file names. But those friends, who use Windows machine, depend on what email program they use. Some can deal with spaces, some can't. To make sure your pictures show up properly EVERY time, cut out the empty spaces in their file names. Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
First golfer, Bill: "What was your score?" Bob: "Seventy-two." Bill: "That's not too bad at all!" Bob: "Thanks! I hope I'll do better on the second hole."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use a Timer With Your Heated Blanket I have an electric mattress pad that I put on a timer - goes on at midnight and off at 9 A.M. Bed is nice and warm to crawl into, and is cooling off as I wake up. No more forgetting to shut it off after I get up. Source: Tired of high electric bill from not shutting it off. By Joandogs from Norwell, MA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
During the course of being interviewed by the press, the noted doctor was asked by a reporter: "Doctor, did you ever make a serious mistake?" "Yes, was the reply, "I sure did! I once cured a millionaire before he was broke!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
On a special teacher's day, a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shooked it, held it over her head, and said, "I bet I know what it is - flowers!" "That's right!" said the boy, "but how did you know?" "Just a wild guess," she said. The next pupil was the candy store owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shooked it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is - a box of candy!" "That's right! But how did you know?" asked the girl. "Just a lucky guess," said the teacher. The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher held the bag over her head and noticed that it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?" she asked. "No," the boy replied. The teacher repeated the process, touching another drop of the leakage to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," the boy replied. The teacher then said, "I give up, what is it?" The boy replied, "A puppy!"

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Software generates $460,497.35 cash and 20,076,087 free visitors.

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Eudora slowing down after 15 years 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, January 23, 2011

Thank you, Raymond!

Here is an article about police in Massachusets getting 
hysterical about a guy who at some time in the past had 
blown up his snow bank, probably because it was mixed 
with frozen slush and hardened by ploughs. 
Common practice in many areas, but sure got the concerned
citizens upset there.
http://snipurl.com/snowbankbomber

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it. --- George Bernard Shaw We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like? --- Jean Cocteau
Little Johnny wasn't very good at spelling. During an oral spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word "new" on the blackboard. "Now," she asked Johnny, "what word would we have if we placed a "K" in the front?" After a moment's reflection, Johnny said, "Canoe?"
PeopleSearch: Over 20 categories: People Search, Criminal Records, Court Records, Death Records, Military Records, Reverse Email, Reverse Phone, etc. Govt databases. Get access and the tools with People Search When you have the data, you have leverage!

As the principal made his rounds, he heard a terrible commotion coming from one of the classrooms. He rushed in and spotted one boy, taller than the others, who seemed to be making the most noise. He seized the lad, dragged him to the hall, and told him to wait there until he was excused. Returning to the classroom, the principal restored order and lectured the class for half an hour about the importance of good behavior. "Now," he said," are there any questions?" One girl stood up timidly. "What are you going to do to the teacher out in the hallway ?"
Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Be kind to your horse. It may be a long walk home!
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Drunks in Port Melbourne, Australia Couple Charged With Drink Driving A WOMAN, angry that police were breath testing her husband, allegedly drove her car at the officers while they were dealing with the man. The Port Melbourne pair have both lost their licenses for 12 months following the incident at the road-side breath testing operation in Greeves St, St Kilda last night. Sen-Constable Wayne Wilson said the man recorded a blood alcohol reading of 0.111 when he was pulled up. But while he was being processed, the wife got into the driver’s seat and drove at police. She was later found with a higher reading to her husband’s at 0.165, and will be charged with driving under the influence. Police tested 713 drivers throughout the night-long operation and detected 11 with positive readings. Three people recorded blood alcohol concentrations more than three times over the legal limit, including two people blowing 0.165 and a woman recording 0.185. In another incident last night, police were called to a Hastings hotel at 11.50pm where a man was refusing to leave the hotel. After speaking with police, the man was allowed to leave and drove away in his nearby car. He was shortly stopped by police and recorded a blood alcohol reading of 0.145. The man lost his licence for 12 months.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Alice Re: Slow Eudora Dear Webby What I like the most about your daily newsletter, is that you take a stand and are not skirting issues because you might annoy half the readers. Even though I disagree with you almost every day, or don't like what you point out, with you at least I know you are not pushing any party line. Nuff of that. About fifteen years ago you talked me into switching to Eudora for my email, because it is faster and more reliable. Well it still is reliable, but it sure is not fast any more. I have just moved it from one machine to the next and have fifteen years of mail in it. Is that too much? Alice Dear Alice Jusdging by the emails you occasionally forward, you have a lot of friends, who use Incredimail. Go into the Eudora folder and look for the Embedded directory in that. Chances are that you have a few Million pictures in that, mostly the silly slobber from the Incredimail footers. Look at that folder with a graphics program, make a new folder in it and call that one: KEEPERS. Then sort the folder by picture size. That will take some time! Then highlight the first picture and scoot down a few tens or hundreds of thousands of pictures until you get past the slobber, the logos and mugshots and closer to the pictures, that you might consider keeping. Delete all that stuff, if you can. Windows might stall on that task, forcing you to dump smaller loads. After that, the sorting will proceed a lod easier and quicker. Sort through the rest by dragging pictures, that are worth keeping into the KEEPERS folder. Then hit CTRL A to highlight all that are left, and delete those. Next, sort out the IN box. Make folders for any topic or year or friend, sort the mail so that those are bunched and move them into those folders. Ideally, the IN box should just have the stuff in it, that you plan to actually answer today or at least in a few days. Do the same with the OUT box. As a final touch, dump the trash. You will be surprised how fast Eudora runs after that. It's actually not Eudora that slows down, but Window taking a long time to sort through that much stuff. Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
There's a new jewelry store in Hollywood whose business has suddenly leaped ahead of all the competition. It rents out wedding rings.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Spice Rack to Organize Nuts and Bolts I was helping my husband organize his new tool shed, and just didn't know where to put all the different sizes of nuts, bolts, screws, etc. I figured it was time for another plastic container, but they just get overlooked and purchased again. Instead, I used an old spice rack I bought for a dollar at a yard sale. He loved the idea. It spins, everything is visible and I didn't have to label more plastic containers. I am always looking for old spice racks now, they came in handy for all my daughters beads for her crafts as well. By Frazzledmrs from California http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Psychiatry students were in their Emotional Extremes class. "Let's set some parameters," the professor said. What's the opposite of joy?" he asked one student. "Sadness," he answered. The opposite of depression?" he asked another student. "Elation," he replied. Then the professor asked a young woman from Texas: "The opposite of woe?" The Texan replied, "Sir, Ah believe, Sahr, that would be giddyup."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Grandma showed some old postcards to her small grandchildren, including one showing a pilgrim family in their Sunday best, observing, "The pilgrim children LIKED to go to church with their mothers and fathers." "Oh, yeah?" her grandson replied, "And their dad is carrying that ig, long rifle to make sure they LIKE to go along peacefully?"

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How to replace a laptop keyboard 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, January 22, 2011

Was the Delta IV launch on Thursday Li'l Lucy upstaging 
Charlie Brown?

The Chinese staged the long awaited maiden flight of their
high tech J-20 stealth fighter to coincide with the visit of Defense 
Secretary Robert Gates, but claimed it was just a coincidence,
and a visit by some burocrat was no reason to postpone
a big event like that. 

Right. Same as the launch of the Delta IV just when Chinese 
President Hu Jintao is visiting Washington.
Just a coincidence. After all, it just carried a 
"better than hubble instrument" to assist with drone 
deployment in the Far East.

With the J-20 there was speculation, that the Chinese Air
Force wanted to show it's independence from the civilian
government. It is doubtful, that the US Airforce tried to cast
a message like that. It is much more likely just following
orders and playing their part in crude sandbox diplomacy.

Hu's visit to Ottawa was totally different.
In exchange for China stopping the ban on Canadian Beef
Harper stopped stopped being in a snit and stopped all the 
hostile bitching about Human Rights in China, 

And in exchange for designating Canada as an approved 
travel destination he agreed to keep Epoch Times and 
New Tang Dynasty (Chinese Media Conglomerates associated
with Falun Gong) from the news conference.

The left wing parliamentary press gallery refused to coopeate,
so Harper told them to stuff the press conference where the 
sun don't shine, and they went for a private beer instead.

Totally different level of diplomacy.Canada might even buy 
some J-20s. They could come in handy for counting the 
polar bears Those ARE getting a bit out of hand in some 
areas and hunting quotas had to be increased.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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"Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck." --- George Carlin "There are plenty of good five-cent cigars in the country. The trouble is they cost a quarter. What this country needs is a good five-cent nickel." --- Franklin P. Adams Today the bank paid me 97 cents per US dollar.
Trisha called Delta Airlines and asked, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York"? The agent replied, "Just a minute . . ." "That's pretty good!!" Trisha answered, and hung up.
PeopleSearch: Over 20 categories: People Search, Criminal Records, Court Records, Death Records, Military Records, Reverse Email, Reverse Phone, etc. Govt databases. Get access and the tools with People Search When you have the data, you have leverage!

In search of a midnight snack, a suburbanite could find nothing but a dog biscuit. He bit into it tentatively, liked it, and the next morning asked his wife to put in a large supply. The local grocer observed. "You don't need so many biscuits for a dog as small as yours." "They're for my busband." "These biscuits are strictly for dogs," grumbled the grocer. "They'll kill your husband!" Six months later, the wife admitted her husband was dead. "I told you those biscuits would kill him," the grocer reminded her. "It wasn't the biscuits," said the woman. "He was killed when I backed over him with the pick-up, while he was sitting on the driveway behind it, liking his balls."
Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Hedesunda, Sweden
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Leon Ingram, 34 in Southampton, England big 6'4" burglar no match for 5'3" granny A FRAIL elderly widow turned into superwoman to send a burglar screaming from her home by battering him with a walking stick. Doris Thiele, 84, hit 6ft 4in Leon Ingram round the head for EIGHT MINUTES while her daughter Helen, 59, held him in a headlock. Terrified Ingram, 34, finally smashed his way through the conservatory doors with his HEAD to get away. The serial burglar left a trail of blood to a nearby flat, where he was arrested. Doris, 5ft 3in, of New Milton, Hants, said: "I hope this sends a strong message to other burglars. If someone else comes they'll get more of the same." She and Helen won police bravery awards for their actions. Heroin user Ingram - described as a "one-man crimewave" - was jailed for three years after admitting burglary at Southampton Crown Court. He had 32 previous convictions. Details and pictures
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Wendy Re: Change laptop keyboard Dear Webby The keyboard on my laptop is getting too badly worn and erratic. How difficult is it to replace the keyboard? Wendy Dear Wendy It's actually quite easy. You need two tools: an old-fashioned thin razor blade and a small phillips screwdriver. You use the razor blade or a very thin knife to pry up the bezel around the keyboard. That reveals two or three tiny screws. Remove those and save them in a cup. Now you can lift up the keyboard on the side where the screws were. That releases it on the opposite side. Unplug the ribbon cable(s) that connect the keyboard and connect them to the new keyboard. Stick the new keyboard in under the latches opposite the screws, wiggle it down and secure it with the screws. Put the bezel back onto it. That may require a bit of fiddling. It will snap in only when it is perfectly lined up. That's all there is to it. Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
The preacher said: "There's no such thing as a perfect man. Anybody present who has ever known a perfect man, stand up." One man at the very back stood up. The preacher was quite surprised and thrown out of his prepared routine. "Did you really ever know an absolutely perfect man?" he asked again. "I didn't know him personally," replied the man, "but I have heard a great deal about him. He was my wife's first husband."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Don't Leave Measuring Scoop in Food Do not leave measuring cups or scoops in food for comfort and speed, it will leave germs in the food! I went to college to become a dietary manager, and I learned that from my text books. This is a state law for schools, nursing homes, prisons, day cares, Think about it, hands dirty, nails full of germs. By 6956 from 88olds88 http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Pythagorean theorem : 24 Words The Lord's Prayer : 66 Words Archimedes' Principle : 67 Words The 10 Commandments : 179 Words The Gettysburg Address : 286 Words The Declaration of Independence : 1,300 Words The U. S. Government regulations on the sale of cabbage : 26,911 Words
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city. Upon their arrival the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?" The stewardess replied, "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign hanging on the door knob that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

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How to store CDs 



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Good Morning,  !
IIt's Friday, January 21, 2011
Time to wear a bit of red, to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby


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please donate what you can!
I am not young enough to know everything. --- Oscar Wilde Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs? --- Spike Milligan
A couple's happy married life almost went on the rocks because of the presence in the household of old Aunt Emma. For seven long years she lived with them, always crotchety, always demanding. Finally the old girl died. After the ambulance had hauled her away, the husband confessed to his wife, "Darling, if I didn't love you so much, I don't think I would have put up with having your Aunt Emma in the house all those years." His wife looked at him aghast. *MY* Aunt Emma! " She screamed: "I thought she was *YOUR* Aunt Emma!"
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When my sister teased her four-year-old daughter by suggesting she liked a certain boy in her kindergarten class, the little girl was quite indignant. "No mommy, I don't," she replied, "because he's only interested in one thing." Shocked, my sister cautiously asked what that might be. "His iPod, of course," said the toddler."He doesn't like girls and doesn't crawl under the bushes with us!"
Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to five ash snorters in Silver Springs, Florida Cremains mistaken for drugs SILVER SPRINGS, Fla. - Marion County Sheriff's deputies on Tuesday arrested five burglary suspects stemming from an investigation which began last month. The victim in the burglary said she returned to her home on Locust Lane in the Silver Springs Shores to discover that several items were missing. Some of the items included electronics and jewelry, but what she found most troubling, was the theft of her late father's ashes and the ashes of her two Great Danes. During the investigation, detectives learned that the ashes were taken because the suspects mistook the cremains for either cocaine or heroin. Word on the street soon revealed that the suspects snorted some of the ashes believing they were snorting cocaine. According to detectives, the suspects eventually realized they had the remains from the dogs and the victim's father, so the suspects got rid of the ashes by tossing them into the lake. The Marion County Sheriff's Office Dive Team has since located and recovered the ashes. Arrested were Waldo Soroa, 19, who faces seven charges and has a bond of $17,000, Matrix Andaluz, 18, who faces six charges and has a bond of $11,500, and Jose David Diaz Marrero, 19, who faces four charges and has a bond of $9,000. There are two juvenile suspects facing charges which include attempted residential burglary and impairing a phone line to the home. Also, in a different incident, detectives charged all five suspects with attempted residential burglary and impairing the phone line to a home on Oak Circle in the same community. The victims in that incident, a married couple, were awakened by loud banging noises back and at one point, the victims were face-to-face with one of the suspects. That suspect took off running, while the other suspects raced away in one red car and one black car, according to the Marion County Sheriff's Office.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Julia Re: How should CDs be stored? Dear Webby How should back-up CD's and disks be stored ? Julia Dear Julia By far the best way to store them is in those lockable hardcase briefcases. If you are in a hurry to buy them, they are around $100, but every now and then they go on sale for as little as $14.95. Look for the ones that have combination lock latches and a harmonica style expansion section. To stand up CD's in them you need that expansion space. In those hardcases they are protected from dust, humidity, and rapid temperature changes. If you are in a hurry to evacuate the building for whatever emergency reason, you can quickly grab those hardcases with the company back-ups and carry them to safety in a much more civilized manner than juggling a stack of shoe boxes. Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! 1 Minute Setup. Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?" Without hesittion Little Johnny replied: "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Winter Feeding for Hummingbirds As the hummingbirds go south, there are a few that do stay. We love to feed them and we become their main source of food. We stop feeding them, and they perish. With the winter freeze, we found we needed two feeders. One in the house and one at the feed place, winter night freeze and we exchange them. Then the one outside come in and thaws and the other is now fresh and ready for meals. The hummers survive until spring and the insects and flowers bloom. By Harris B. from Troutdale, OR http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
It was after 3 a.m. in the fancy restaurant, and all the guests except for one had gone home. The last guest was sleeping at his table. The cleaning lady, irritated that she was delayed in doing her job, turned to the restaurant owner. "I've seen you shake the old fool and wake him up five times," she said. "Why don't you make him go home?" "No way! " answered the owner cheerfully. "Every time I wake him up, he asks for his bill and pays it!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Thanks to Richard for this story: Four men are out to dinner at a restaurant when the waiter mentions to one of the men that it appears that he attended Harvard University. The man was amazed and asked the waiter how he knew. The waiter told him that he had used a word that only Harvard men used so it was obvious that he was a Harvard man. Later during the course of the dinner, the waiter told another man that it appeared that he had attended Yale University. The man was amazed and asked the waiter how he knew. The waiter told him that he had used a sentence structure that only Yale men used so it was obvious that he was a Yale man. Even later during the course of the dinner, the waiter told another man that it appeared that he had attended Princeton University. The man was amazed and asked the waiter how he knew. The waiter told him that he had pronounced a word in a manner that only Princeton men used so it was obvious that he was a Princeton man. As they were paying their bill the waiter mentioned to the fourth man that it appeared that he was a graduate of the University of Alberta. The Alberta grad was amazed and asked the waiter if he knew this because of a word he had used or a sentence structure or the way he had pronounced a word. The waiter said that none of these techniques were used. He had spotted the man's class ring while the man had been picking his nose.

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Lemons 


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Mail affected by incorrect date 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, January 20, 2011

It was interesting to see how the US Senate shrugged off the
245 to 189 House vote against Socialist Medicare. "Awww, that's
just the people. They don't count."

I have a hunch, that is going to come back and bite them in 
the rear.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
"English is a language where double negatives are a no-no." --- Alfred E. Neuman They told me, in English double positives don't make a negaive in English. Yeah, right!
Because of an ear infection, , had to go to the pediatrician. The doctor directed his comments and questions to in a professional manner. When he asked , "Is there anything you are allergic to?" nodded and whispered in his ear. Smiling, the pediatrician wrote out a prescription and handed it to 's mother. She tucked it into her purse without looking at it. As the pharmacist filled the order, he remarked on the unusual food-drug interaction must have. 's mother looked puzzled until he showed her the label on the bottle. As per the doctor's instructions, it read, "Do not take with broccoli."
Need to make some money on Forex? Get the Leo Trader Pro Neural-Net Robot The first Neural-Net based Forex robot. Includes Investor Account password. Not for casual observers, just for actual Forex investors and harvesters. Get above the loser layer fast!

Two women were being shown through the zoo, and their guide halted before the ostriches to explain: "Now this, ladies, is a very unusual bird. Even though it's eyes are bigger than it's brain, it can see very little and can digest practically anything." "Goodness," exclaimed one of the women. "Wouldn't THAT make an ideal husband !"
Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Matterhorn
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Robert Charles Fleming II, 25, in Butler, PA Long test drive BUTLER, Pa. — Authorities are looking for a western Pennsylvania man they say is taking too long a test-drive. Police say 25-year-old Robert Charles Fleming II never came back after he took a 2005 Chevrolet pickup from a Butler County used car dealership on Tuesday. Butler Township police say Fleming left behind a copy of his driver's license in return for the keys. They have filed theft and related charges against him. Lyndora Auto Sales owner Kenny Galvan tells the Beaver County Times that it's the first time the dealership has had a car stolen in its 26 years in business.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Brenda Re: Mail doesn't get through Dear Webby Some of the people we write to say they don't get our mail, and some say that they either don't get our mail or they accidentally find it among old mail. What would cause that ? Brenda Dear Brenda That sounds like you have the wrong date, wrong time zone, or wrong AM/PM selected. Because many spammers use that trick to sneak unseen into the previous days pile of mail and hope to be read when you come upon an un-answered mail later, some spam filters look for that trick and dump mail with incorrect dates. However, even if your mail is not auto-dumped, it becomes nearly as invisible, if it is stashed in the previous day's pile. Most likely you have selected a wrong time zone or date. Correct that, and send me a test mail. Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! 1 Minute Setup. Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
"I'm applying for that mechanic's job you had advertised in this morning's paper," the fellow told the garage owner. "Well, what are your qualifications? have you had any mechanical experience with cars?" "Well, of course. I'm the fellow who used to put part 232-B-4976 onto all the cars at Ford." "Well, how come you aren't there any more?" "I had a little tough luck." "Tough luck?" "Yeah, I dropped my wrench one day and by the time I ot it back, I was twenty-seven cars behind."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Safety Pin Label Before Sewing I was doing some sewing today. I am making some crafts to sell. I had labels made to sew inside. I hand sew my labels. Instead of straight pins I pinned them in place with two small safety pins. That way I didn't have to be on guard against the points. The job went much faster that way. By MartyD from Houston, Tx http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A rancher applied for a loan at a bank. "How much do you want to borrow?" asked the loan interviewer. "Twenty-five thousand dollars." "All right, but you'll have to show security. How many bulls do you have on your ranch?" "Two hundred." "That should be enough security. The loan is approved." Several months later the rancher returned to the bank to repay the loan. "Here's your money," he declared, peeling off bills from a huge bankroll. "Well, sir, let me congratulate you on your sudden prosperity," said the interviewer, eyeing the bankroll. "And for safety's sake, may I suggest you eposit that extra money in our bank?" Staring at him coldly, the rancher asked, "How many bulls do you have?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
My friend's preparations for a visit from her children in- cluded a trip to the bank. Waiting in line at the teller's window, she lamented to the middle-aged man behind her, "My children are in their 20s, and I'm still giving them money. When does it end?" "I'm not sure I'm the one to ask," the man said while glancing uncomfortably at a paper in his hand, "I'm here to deposit a check from my mother."

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Jigsaw Puzzle 

Solve This Jigsaw Puzzle




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No File Association Found 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, January 19, 2011

That cartoon yesterday was not about the 2 Billion peaceful
Muslims, who get along just fine. It was about Islamist 
Extremists, who try to give the Muslims a bad name.
There IS a difference!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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please donate what you can!
"Happiness is a way station between to little and too much." --- Channing Pollock "It's not so much how busy you are, but why you are busy. The bee is praised. The mosquito is swatted." --- Mary O'Connor
Bill decided to stop worrying about his wife's driving and took advantage of it. He got one of those bumper stickers that say, "How's my driving?" and put a 900 toll number on it. At $1 a call, her driving will have earned her a new car by Mother's Day.
Need to make some money on Forex? Get the Leo Trader Pro Neural-Net Robot The first Neural-Net based Forex robot. Includes Investor Account password. Not for casual observers, just for actual Forex investors and harvesters. Get above the loser layer fast!

Ms Myrna from the Department of Motor Vehicles finally retired (-to everybody's great relief-). She had always wanted to travel abroad. Now that she was getting on in years, she thought she would really like to do so before she died. But until now, she'd never even been out of the country. So she began by going in person to the Passport Office and asking how long it would take to have one issued. "You must take the loyalty oath first," responded the passport clerk. "Raise your right hand, please." The old gal raised her right hand. "Do you swear to defend the Constitution of the United States against all its enemies, domestic or foreign?" was the first question. Myrna's face paled and her voice trembled as she asked in a small voice, "But you ARE giving me back my shot gun for that job, right?"
Thanks to Betty for this picture of her rhodo: Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Amy Bobkovich, 38 in Lorraine, Ohio Woman got 3 speeding tickets in one hour A Lorain woman received three speeding tickets in an hour on Saturday night. Sheffield Village Police Chief Larry Bliss tells Fox 8 News, Amy Bobkovich, 38, received the first ticket at 11:40 p.m., for driving 55-mph in a 35-mph zone on East River Road. Ten minutes later she was ticketed on East River Road by a different officer for once again driving 55-mph in a 35-mph zone. Chief Bliss says at 12:43 a.m. Sunday, Bobkovich received her third speeding ticket for driving 51-mph in a 35-mph zone. That ticket was issued on Detroit Road. Bliss says the officers issuing Bobkovich's second and third tickets were aware of the citations she had received earlier in the night, but her speeding did not warrant an arrest. They let her continue driving, probably hoping to make it five a night, but she seems to have made it to her destination without getting caught again.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Shirley Re: No File Association Found Dear Webby I receive emails and when I click them the following statement comes on: This file does not have a program associated with it for performing the action. Create an association in the FOLDER OPTIONS control panel. I do not know how to do this. Could you please help me. Thank you Shirley Dear Shirley Open a File Explorer Tools Folder Options File Types Scroll down to the mystery extension, and associate a suitable program for it. Depending on what it is, you may have to download and install a suitable program first. Of necessary, you can select "Search the Web" to find a suitable program. However, it would be a good idea to first read up on what that extension is all about, and whether it is a safe or a malicious file type. Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! 1 Minute Setup. Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
farts in the classroom and his teacher gets really upset and throws him out. He goes and sits on the sidewalk in the sun outside the class and can't stop laughing. The principal walks by and sees sitting outside laughing. He says, " what are you doing sitting here laughing?" says, "I farted in class and the teacher threw me out." The principle says, "Well then, why are you laughing?" says, "Cause they are sitting in the classroom smelling my fart, while they put me outside in this beautiful, clean and fresh air and sunshine."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Homemade Muffins for Breakfast Find a good basic muffin recipe and play with it. Experiment with different kinds of flour or combinations of flour. Use different nuts, fruits, coconut, spices, etc. Freeze the baked muffins and warm one a day in the microwave for breakfast. My current muffin is a combination of whole wheat and soy flour, pecans, molasses, ginger, cinnamon, baking powder, canola oil, coconut, Splenda, brown sugar, vanilla yogurt, blueberry applesauce, eggs, skim milk, and skim milk. They are delicious and cheaper than Vitamuffins, although I do love Vitamuffins. By Susannl from St. Cloud, FL http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
For the first time in many years, an old man travels from his rural town to the city to attend a movie. After buying his ticket, he stops at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn. He hands the attendant $1.50 and comments, "The last time I came to the movies, popcorn was only 15 cents." "Well, sir," the attendant replies, "you're really going to enjoy yourself. We have color and sound now!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Millions of years ago, there was no such thing as the wheel. One day, some primitive guys were watching their wives drag a dead mastodon to the food-preparation area. It was exhausting work; the guys were getting tired just WATCHING. Then they noticed some large, smooth, rounded boulders, and they had an idea: They could sit on the boulders and watch! This was the first in a series of breakthroughs that ultimately led to television and remote controls."

» Darien's Gap





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Is Free Norton good enough? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Thanks to Martin for this cartoon:

AND Muslims from the other side of the Sunni/Shiite divide!


Have FUN!
DearWebby


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please donate what you can!
"I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand." --- Confucius "Prosperity is a great teacher; adversity a greater." --- William Hazlitt
A very nervous man, accompanied by his nagging wife, was examined by a doctor. After checking the chart, the doctor nodded and wrote out a prescription for a powerful tranquilizer. The man asked, "How often do I take these?" "Let's start off with once every six hours. But they're not for you," replied the doctor. "They're for your wife."
Tinnitus Cure The Most Powerful & Unique Guide to help people REVERSE their ear ringing using Holistic Medicine. Like Diabetes, Tinnitus can not be cured with what doctors prescribe. It just would not be profitable for them and the pharmacists. But there ARE ways aound them, that have consistent and predictable results. If you hear a constant hiss or wind noise, get rid of it with the Tinnitus Cure
Here is a nice old classic! Boudreaux was feeling guilty, so he went to confession. "Father, I kinda took a leetle lumber from dat new construction site." Priest: "What did you do with the lumber, my son"? Boudreaux: "Well, Father, my porch, she's had a hole for a long time.I'm 'fraid someone will break dey laig, so I fix de hole. " Priest: "Well, that's not so bad." Boudreaux: "Well, Father, I had a leetle lumber left over." Priest: "What did you do with it?" Boudreaux: "Well, my poor dog, Phideaux, he ain't never had no place to get outta de wether, so I make him his own leetle doghouse." Priest: "OK, anything else?" Boudreaux: "Well, Father, I had a leetle lumber left over. So you know, my truck, she ain't never had no place to get outta de wether either, so I make her a two car garage." Priest: "Now, this is getting a little out of hand." Boudreaux: "Well, Father, I still had a leetle lumber left over." Priest: "Yes?" Boudreaux: "Well, my wife, she always want a bigger house. So I add two bedrooms and a new bat'room." Priest: "OK! That's definitely too much. For your penance, you are going to have to make a Novena. You do know how to make a Novena, don't you?" Boudreaux: "No, Father...But, if you got de blueprints, I got de lumber." (For those of you who don't know, a Novena is a huge set of prayers)
Thanks to Norm for sending this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. The bridge is finished and in use now, but this must be the prettiest picture from the construction.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Stephanie Moreland, 46, in Bloomington, Minnesota Shoplifter hid mink coat under underwear BLOOMINGTON, Minn. (WCCO) – A female shoplifting suspect hid a stolen mink coat in her underwear while she was in jail for three days. Stephanie Moreland was arrested New Year’s Eve by Bloomington Police after the Alaskan Fur Company reported a short mink coat was stolen by a woman who had been in the store and acting suspiciously. One of the sales associates, Simona Storchak, confronted Moreland when she saw a $6500 coat was missing. She said Moreland denied having the coat and took off. Storchak wrote down the license plate on the woman’s car and called police. When Bloomington officers located the car a short time later, they found a hanger from the store, but no coat. They searched her for weapons and booked her into their jail for the weekend on theft charges. Three days later, a detective interviewed Moreland who admitted she stole the coat but claimed she had already sold it. When the investigator informed Moreland he would be sending her to the Hennepin County Jail downtown, he was shocked when she lifted up her dress and pulled out the mink coat from her underwear. “She had modified her underwear. She actually cut the rear of the underwear out so that from the back it appeared she was not wearing underwear and then stuffed it down the front,” said Bloomington Police Commander Mark Stehlik. Stehlik said the suspect, who is 46 years old, weighs about 270 pounds which helped make it easier for her to conceal the short jacket.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Roland Re: Is free Norton good enough? Dear Webby, My ISP will give us free subscription for Norton, is there much difference between Norton and MacAfee Roland Dear Roland Some people say that Norton is good enough, as long as it is free. I am not one of those people. McAfee is good enough, that people actually pay for it. That's the group of people I'm in. Norton does catch most viruses and some malware, but it causes problems with Windows. Remember the Norton ads in the late 90's, that said it takes Norton to make Windows complete? That seems to have annoyed some of the tens of thousands of programmers at Microsoft, and since Windows 2000, Norton does not mesh with Windows as well as paying customers would expect. I don't know ANY honest tech, who recommends Norton. Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! 1 Minute Setup. Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
Although this married couple enjoyed their new fishing boat together, it was the husband who was behind the wheel operating the boat. Still, he was concerned about what might happen in an emergency. So one day out on the lake he said to his wife, "Honey, take the wheel... Pretend that I am having a heart attack. You must get the boat safely to shore and dock it." So she steered the boat to shore and docked it. Later that evening, the wife walked into the livingroom where her husband was reading a novel... She sat down next to him, switched the TV channel, and said to him, "Honey, go into the kitchen. Pretend I'm having a heart attack. Do the laundry, cook dinner, set the table, and wash the dishes."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Homemade Muffins for Breakfast Find a good basic muffin recipe and play with it. Experiment with different kinds of flour or combinations of flour. Use different nuts, fruits, coconut, spices, etc. Freeze the baked muffins and warm one a day in the microwave for breakfast. My current muffin is a combination of whole wheat and soy flour, pecans, molasses, ginger, cinnamon, baking powder, canola oil, coconut, Splenda, brown sugar, vanilla yogurt, blueberry applesauce, eggs, skim milk, and skim milk. They are delicious and cheaper than Vitamuffins, although I do love Vitamuffins. By Susannl from St. Cloud, FL http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
I don't think I'll ever have a mother's intuition. My sister left me alone in a restaurant with my 12-month-old nephew. I said, "What do I do if he cries?" She said, "Give him some vegetables." It turns out that jalapenos are not his favorite.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
"So, what's the matter? I thought you just got back from a nice relaxing fishing trip with your husband." "Oh, everything went wrong: First Alfred said I talked so loud I would scare the fish. Then he said I was using the wrong bait; and then that I was reeling in too soon. "All that might have been all right; but then, to make matters worse, he had to pay the fine because according to the fish warden we had caught more than the limit for both of us. But Alfred had not had a single bite!"

» Colors and design





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My Prayer 


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Non PDF invoices 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, January 17, 2011

A beautiful, clear moon, silver reflections off the mountains
in the West, but at -22, I am not really tempted to go for a walk
right now. It's supposed to warm up in the afternoon. I'll try
and sneak out for a bit then.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
"Manners are like the zero in arithmetic; they may not be much in themselves, but they are capable of adding a great deal to the value of everything else." --- Freya Stark "Education is when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get if you don't." --- Pete Seeger Anyone who has ever struggled with poverty knows how extremely expensive it is to be poor. --- James Baldwin
A man realizes he needs to buy a hearing aid, but he is unwilling to spend much money. "How much do they run?" he asks the clerk. "That depends," says the salesman. "They run from $2 to $6,000." "Let's see the $2 model," the customer says. The clerk puts the device around the man's neck. "You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down to your pocket," he says. "How does it work?" the customer asks. "For $2, it doesn't work," the salesman replies. "But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder."
Tinnitus Cure The Most Powerful & Unique Guide to help people REVERSE their ear ringing using Holistic Medicine. Like Diabetes, Tinnitus can not be cured with what doctors prescribe. It just would not be profitable for them and the pharmacists. But there ARE ways aound them, that have consistent and predictable results. If you hear a constant hiss or wind noise, get rid of it with the Tinnitus Cure
A mother had three very active boys. One afternoon, she was playing cops and robbers with them in the back yard. One of the boys "shot" his mother and yelled, "Bang! You're dead!" She slumped to the ground and when she didn't get up right away, a neighbor ran over to see if she had been hurt in the fall. When the neighbor bent over, the overworked mother opened one eye and said, "Shhh. Don't give me away. It's the only chance I've had to rest all day."
Thanks to Dad for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Crystal Lashanna Staples, 29, in Gainesville, Florida Burglar bleached victim's clothes GAINESVILLE, Fla. (UPI) -- Police in Florida said a burglar piled up clothing in her victim's home and poured bleach on the garments. Gainesville police said Crystal Lashanna Staples, 29, told them she broke a window at the residence of Reagan Brown but used a key to enter the home at 7:15 a.m. EST Monday, The Gainesville (Fla.) Sun reported Wednesday. S taples was arrested a couple of hours later. Investigators accuse Staples of stealing $650 worth of items, including two bags, a phone and keys, from the home. They allege she piled up $1,000 worth of clothes belonging to Brown and doused them in bleach. Staples, who has previous convictions for forgery, escape and grand fraud, was charged with burglary, grand theft and criminal mischief. Police said they were working to determine whether Staples and Brown were previously acquainted.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Harold Re: Invoices that are not PDF Dear Webby, We are doing our invoices as PDF files so that supposedly they can not be changed later. Well, nowadays there are lots of free programs, that can edit and even create PDF files. To add insult to injury, the PDF files take an awful lot of space and it wastes a lot of time making them. How do big companies handle that? Harold Dear Harold We post invoices in passworded folders on the web that can be viewed only by the person who gets an email link to their invoice. The email also carries the password. The invoice on the web can be printed by the clients, but they can not change things on them. Since on invoices the fancy header and the footer with the small print stays the same for every invoice, we have those parts on the net in two include files. Those are called by every invoice. There is no need to have those parts again and again separately for each invoice. The only thing the actual invoice file carries, is what is actually different for that particular invoice. And that is just a very tiny HTML file, typically 2-3 KB. By contrast, in PDF format the same invoice would take about 300 KB. If you use HTML invoices like that, then you can generate the fresh "content" that goes between the unchanging header and footer with any program you want, as long as it can make or fake an HTML table. Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! 1 Minute Setup. Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
Two Irish farmers bought a truckload of watermelons at the docks, paying one dollar apiece for them. Then they drove to the market and sold all their melons for the SAME price ($1) they'd paid for them. After counting their money at the end of the day, they realize they'd ended up with no more money than they'd started with. "See!" said one. "I told you we shoulda got a bigger truck."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing Air from Ziplock Bags We will never buy the vacuum seal machine and expensive bags because we vacuum seal the easy and frugal way. Place contents in a ziploc bag and immerse in a sink full of water, keeping opened end of bag just above the water line. The pressure of the water against the outside of the bag will force out all the air in it. And, voila, it's done. Zip shut and you're good to go! By annelaundrie from Green Bay, WI http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
After waiting more than an hour and a half for her date, the young lady decided she had been stood up. She changed from her dinner dress into pajamas and slippers, fixed some popcorn and resigned herself to an evening of TV. No sooner had she flopped down in front of the TV than her doorbell rang. There stood her date. He took one look at her and gasped, "I gave you an extra two hours --and you're still not ready?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A Congressman is awakened in the middle of the night by his wife who whispers, "I think there's a thief in the house." "Not in the House," her husband says. "In the Senate, yes, my dear, but not in the House."

» Harbin Ice Festival





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Judgement 


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How to get into footer on old version of MS Word 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, January 16, 2011

Supposed to be a fairly mild day today, but right now, it's
still lightly overcast, with the moon just visible, and a low
ground fog.

On one side of me, where the street lights have motion
detectors, it's quite pretty. On the other side, the street
lights spoil it. They are still the old type, that waste 3/4 
of the electricity on light to the sides and have no motion
detectors. It took a lot of arguing to get them to start
using reasonably modern lights, but they sure are not
in any hurry to save money.! But at least they got started,
and hopefully wil continue!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
A leader leads by example, whether he intends to or not. --- Socratex "There are two sides to every issue: one side is right and the other is wrong, but the middle is always evil." --- Ayn Rand
Some Taliban decide to start a chicken farm. They get some chickens and plant them in the ground, headfirst. When all the chickens die, the farmers are somewhat confused, but they don't give up. They get some more chickens, but these are planted feet-first. It takes a little longer, but eventually the second batch of chickens die, too. They decide to write a letter to the agriculture bureau. In the letter they explain in detail the procedures they have followed and their disappointing results. A few weeks later they receive this reply from the bureau: "Before we can advise you, please send us a soil sample."
Tinnitus Cure The Most Powerful & Unique Guide to help people REVERSE their ear ringing using Holistic Medicine. Like Diabetes, Tinnitus can not be cured with what doctors prescribe. It just would not be profitable for them and the pharmacists. But there ARE ways aound them, that have consistent and predictable results. If you hear a constant hiss or wind noise, get rid of it with the Tinnitus Cure
While driving through Buffalo after a heavy snow storm, a motorist noted a cop, apparently waist deep in snow, directing traffic. Feeling sorry for him, the motorist called out "I'm sorry you have to work half buried in the snow." The cop called back "Don't feel sorry for me, feel sorry for my horse!"
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Stars circle around the north celestial pole above an old oak in Lindholmen, Sweden. Lindholmen is where Gustav Vasa was born. He became the king of Sweden from 1523 until his death and is cosidered as the most famous king of Sweden. As noted by the photographer "Gustav Vasa planted this oak, a really fantastic tree, about 500 years ago and you can see some of the ruin from the house where he lived to the left."
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to William Peppers, 31 in South Morgan, Ill Skokie cop dresses up like pizza delivery man to bust customer Skokie police officers went undercover as Edwardo’s pizza delivery men after a man ordered a pizza and other food with a stranger’s credit card. The undercover operation on Jan. 8 included an officer wearing an Edwardo’s jacket — and putting an Edwardo’s sign on an unmarked squad car. Police said William Peppers, 31, of the 10200 block of South Morgan, tried three different credit cards when ordering $51 in food to a Skokie address. The first two cards were denied. The third belonged to a woman who had just reported fraudulent orders on her card, police said. Police were alerted and the officers took the pizza to Peppers. He waved them down and signed a receipt for the food. Then he was arrested, police said. He’s charged with felony forgery.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Fran Re: Get into footer on old version of MS WORD Dear Webby, I know you live on the web and probably don't even remember paper letters, but in my new job I have to write them. My boss told me to use a standard letter that they have been using for years, leave the header and footer and just paste in fresh content. Well, the footer has a typo in it, and I don't know how to get MS WORD to let me into the footer to fix that typo. Chances are, that merged footer was made with a version of WORD about 3-4 updates ago. If you can't figure a way to get into that footer, I don't know who can. Fran Dear Fran I think that is a Microsoft "feature" to not provide an icon or straighforward way to get into headers or footers made with previous versions of the same software. About the only way I know to get into them is to use the Find (CTRL F) and get it to find a word that is in the footer. Chances are that typo is nowhere else and it will find it fast. When it finds it, it will open the footer and you can edit it. Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! 1 Minute Setup. Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
Sue wanted a haircut and phoned a salon early for an appointment but was told customers were taken on a walk-in basis only. On Saturday she got there by 9 a.m and there were already ten people waiting. Sue drove to another salon, but it was booked solid. Still another had no openings. The situation seemed hopeless, so she went home. Her husband greeted her at the door. "That was fast !" he said cheerfully. "And your hair looks great!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Prescription Bottles for Storing Quarters I take several prescriptions every month and I accumulate lots of empty bottles. Someone posted that these make nice places to hold screws, nails, etc. But what I use them for is storing my State quarters. Each bottle holds $10 worth of quarters. What makes this a frugal thing is that these can be grabbed for a quick last minute birthday gift. Take off the labels and if you desire you can decorate with contact type paper. College kids love getting quarters and so do younger kids. I also know of a place that does take the empty bottles to recycle to other nations. I have a bag full waiting to take. I think in my area this place only takes the bottles once a month on a specific day. By Patricia from Spring Lake, NC http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. "Good heavens," he said, "what is this?" "It's bean soup," she replied. "I don't care what it has been," he sputtered. "What is it now?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The boss was very exasperated with his new secretary. She ignored the telephone when it rang. "You must answer the telephone," he told her irritably. "All right," she replied, "but it seems so silly. Nine times out of ten, it's for you!"

» Fur, fins, feathers





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Cold Weather Kit 

The Government has issued a travel warning due to the cold weather.

They suggest that anyone travelling in the current icy conditions should make sure they have the following:

Shovel Blankets or sleeping bag
Extra clothing including hat and gloves
24 hours worth of food
De-Icer
Rock Salt
Flashlight with spare batteries
Road Flares or Reflective Triangles
Empty gas Can
First Aid Kit
Booster cables.......

I looked like an idiot on the bus this morning !



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Fixing email font size problem 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, January 15, 2011

Heard somethin interesting about cellphone usage. In Europe some
educators noticed a drastic drop in attention span of about half the
girls, and they investigated. It wasn't dope, and the "normal" group
walked about with an intelligence prostesis pressed to the ear just like
them. After checking all kinds of potential causes they finally found
the only thing that separated the two groups.

The ones who showed a drastic drop in attention span and apparent
intelligence all slept with their cell phone or iPhone by their head,
either waiting for messages, listening to music, or expecting a
wake-up call. Somehow the minute and nearly harmless radiation
from the phone altered their sleeping patterns and made them
dopey during the day. They are going to try with some members
of the dopey group, to see if it is reversible and they become
bright and smart again, or if there is some permanent change.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
"You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him." --- Leo Aikman "Well done is better than well said." --- Benjamin Franklin Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings. --- Laurence J. Peter
Thanks to Dianne for this: The Government has issued a travel warning due to the cold weather. They suggest that anyone travelling in the current icy conditions should make sure they have the following: Shovel Blankets or sleeping bag Extra clothing including hat and gloves 24 hours worth of food De-Icer Rock Salt Flashlight with spare batteries Road Flares or Reflective Triangles Empty gas Can First Aid Kit Booster cables....... I looked like an idiot on the bus this morning !
Tinnitus Cure The Most Powerful & Unique Guide to help people REVERSE their ear ringing using Holistic Medicine. Like Diabetes, Tinnitus can not be cured with what doctors prescribe. It just would not be profitable for them and the pharmacists. But there ARE ways aound them, that have consistent and predictable results. If you hear a constant hiss or wind noise, get rid of it with the Tinnitus Cure
It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large order. As the harried-looking clerk lifted the final bag for her, its bottom gave way, sending the contents crashing to the floor. "They just don't make these bags like they used to," the clerk blurted to the customer. "That was supposed to happen in your driveway!"
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Monarchs at Pismo Beach, CA
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Levar Bates, 33 in Allegheny County, PA Man In Court For Child Custody Hearing Busted on Open Warrant, Heroin Possession Levar Bates PENNSYLVANIA – A man arrested on an open warrant when he arrived to court for a child custody hearing was allegedly also carrying heroin and marijuana. The incident happened Monday at the Allegheny County Courthouse when 33-year-old Levar Bates arrived for a child custody hearing. Following routine procedure, deputies ran a check on Bates and found he was wanted on a bench warrant for Harassment and Terroristic Threats stemming from a December 5 incident with his ex-girlfriend. Deputies immediately approached Bates and took him into custody without incident. When they searched him, deputies allegedly recovered two knotted baggies containing 92 stamp bags of heroin with names varying from ‘Waka Flocka,’ ‘Try Again,’ and ‘Survivor.’ Along with the heroin, deputies located another three baggies of marijuana. Bates was transported to the Allegheny County Jail where he will be held without bond until his arraignment on the warrant and new charges of Possession with Intent to Deliver a Controlled Substance and two counts of Possession of a Controlled Substance.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Sharon Re: Fix small email fonts Dear Webby; As for the font size I have hotmail, gmail & yahoo. When I need the font bigger I hit ctrl & the + sign at the same time. I may have to do it more than once to get it to the right size. Then if I it want it smaller I hit ctrl & the - sign. It works for me & it worked on a friend's laptop. Don't know if it works on Incredimail too or not but can't hurt to try it.. Have a purrfect day, Sharon Thanks Sharon! Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! 1 Minute Setup. Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
To tell the weather, go to your back door and look for the dog. If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it's probably raining. But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet, then it is probably raining really hard. If the dog's fur looks like it's been rubbed the wrong way, it's probably windy. If the dog has snow on his back, it's probably snowing. Of course, to be able to tell the weather like this, you have to leave the dog outside all the time, especially if you expect bad weather. Sincerely, The CAT
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Frugal All Purpose Cleaner For a good all purpose cleaner, you need water and Ivory liquid dish soap. Fill a 32 ounce spray bottle nearly full with water. Add a squirt or two of Ivory Liquid Dish soap. Put the sprayer back on and gently shake the bottle until the soap has been evenly distributed. Use Ivory because most other dish soaps leave behind a filmy residue. Ivory is especially safe for Corian, marble, and wood counter tops and butcher blocks. It's also safe to use on brass or gold plated faucets. By Jodi from Aurora , CO http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
"What do you love most about me," a husband asked his wife, "my tremendous athletic ability or my superior intellect?" "What I love most about you," responded the man's wife, "is your incredible sense of humor."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Two rural church deacons who were having a sociable beer in the local tavern when they saw their minister drive by and take a good long look at their pickup trucks parked outside. One deacon ducked down and said, "I hope the reverend didn't see us or recognize my pickup." The other replied indifferently, "What difference does it make. God knows we're in here... and he's the only one who counts." The first deacon countered, "But God won't tell my wife."

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Small fonts in mail 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Friday, January 14, 2011
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


To Alissee
No, the crossed zero smbol Ø in somebody's signature block
is not a sign of a secret cult. It's just a symbol for the slogan 
"No Obama". And it does not imply any illegal action, just
how people intend to vote. And it does not mean membership
in the TeaParty or any other party. From what I can tell,
no party has officialy adopted that symbol or is promoting it,
thereby leaving it free to use by anybody. 

You wil not be accused of being a Tea partier if you use it, 
since a lot of disenchanted Democrats are using it too.

As for how to type that symbol, it is really easy on a normal
keyboard, but a real nuisane on a laptop, since you need the
numeric keypad for it. Turn on NumLock,
hold down the ALT key, and type 0216
That produces Ø , when you let go of the ALT key.

If you use a laptop, then the easiest method is to go to
http://webby.com/char
and copy it from there. It is at the top of the fourth column.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
"A life without happiness is empty, but Happiness can only be found within." --- Marie-France
Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case? Juror: I don't want to be away from my job that long. Judge: Can't they do without you at work? Juror: Yes, but I don't want them to know it.
Tinnitus Cure The Most Powerful & Unique Guide to help people REVERSE their ear ringing using Holistic Medicine. Like Diabetes, Tinnitus can not be cured with what doctors prescribe. It just would not be profitable for them and the pharmacists. But there ARE ways aound them, that have consistent and predictable results. If you hear a constant hiss or wind noise, get rid of it with the Tinnitus Cure
Thanks to Bob for this story: After booking my 80-year-old mother on a flight from Florida to Nevada, I called the airline to go over her needs. The representative listened patiently as I requested a wheelchair and an attendant for my mother because of her arthritis and severely impaired vision. My apprehension lightened a bit when the woman assured me that everything would be taken care of. I thanked her profusely. "Oh, you're welcome," she replied. I was about to hang up when she cheerfully asked, "And will your mother need a rental car?"
Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Chris Brooks Heuring, 27, of rural Benton, MO Wrong way to shop at mcDonalds BENTON, Mo. -- A Scott County man is facing charges after allegedly backing up demands for fast food with a shotgun. Chris Brooks Heuring, 27, of rural Benton is charged with unlawful use of a weapon and driving while intoxicated. Scott County Sheriff Rick Walter said his department received a call at about 11:40 p.m. Saturday regarding a man with a shotgun at the drive-through window of the McDonald's restaurant on Highway 77 at the Interstate 55 interchange at Benton. "They had told him the store was closed," Walter said. "He demanded one of the employees to open the window." The employee reportedly responded by advising only the manager could open the window. "He told the employee he wanted food and pointed the shotgun at that time," Walter said. "He said, 'If I don't bring some food home for my wife, she's going to kill me.' At that point, the employees didn't want to stick around to listen to any more demands." Walter said the employees backed away from the window to get out of the possible line of fire. A deputy who was about a minute away responded, according to Walter, and upon arriving was able to hold the suspect at gunpoint until the sheriff and two more deputies arrived. "At that point we brought him out of the car and took him into custody without incident," he said. Walter said the employees did the right thing by calling the sheriff and locking themselves in an interior room until authorities arrived. "The shotgun was loaded and there was a round chambered," he noted. As of press time, Heuring remained at the Scott County Jail with a cash or surety bond set at $5,000.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Larry Re: Mail fonts too small Dear Webby I'm having another problem. Hopefully you can help me out. 2 days ago, my text on my email god smaller and I can't enlarge it. I've been trying since then to enlarge it but can't find out how to do it. I know, I have incredimail. LOL. Larry Dear Larry I have absolutely no clue about Incredimail. On Eudora you would hold down CTRL and scroll the scroll wheel to zoom, just like you do on browsers. Eudora had that since scroll wheels were invented, but not all programs have copied that yet. Try Incredimail support. Maybe they know. Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! 1 Minute Setup. Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
Used to being the center of attention, Robbie was a little more than jealous of his new baby sister. The parents sat him down and said that now that she was getting older, the house was too small and they'd have to move. "It's no use." Robbie said, "She's crawling good now and she'd probably just follow us."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Store Toiletries in Small Tote Each of our 3 children has a small plastic tote (like the ones to hold cleaning supplies) stored in our hall linen closet to take into the bathroom. They keep all of their toiletries (including combs, medications and toothbrush/ toothpaste) in these totes. I got the idea from my dorm days when we had to hike down the hall to the showers. It really saves room in our small bathroom, and the tote can be ported to the kitchen or downstairs bath if necessary. By Lori L from Minneapolis, MN http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over. The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when the man asked, "Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don't think it's fair - there were plenty of other cars around me who were going just as fast, so why did *I* get the ticket?" "Ever go fishing?" the policeman suddenly asked the man. "Ummm, yeah..." the startled man replied. The officer grinned and added, "Ever catch *all* the fish?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Judge: You are charged with habitual drunkenness. Have you anything to say in your defense? Defendant: Habitual thirstiness?

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Penguin 

A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona when he notices that the oil-pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.

After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot.

He gets a big bowl of vanilla ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands, he makes a real mess trying to eat with his little flippers.

After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says,

"It looks like you blew a seal."

"No, no," the penguin replies, "it's just ice cream."


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On Global Warming 



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Dog Days-How Training Benefits Both Pet Owners And Pets 



Welcome!
Whether you are a new pet owner or you have had a pet in your home for some time, you know how delightful, and frustrating, owning a pet can be.

The joy of bringing a new puppy or dog into your household can be insurmountable. After all, there is no relationship quite like the one that is developed between you and your dog.

A dog can provide unconditional love, hours of entertainment, and genuine friendship. Or, a dog can provide unconditional messes, hours of destruction, and a genuine nuisance!

How do you ensure that your dog behaves in the manner of the first scenario described above? If you are thinking that the answer is "breed" you are partially correct. Indeed, breed does play a role in a dog's behavior. But an even greater factor in the dog's behavior is based on the training he receives. Good dog training resources can go a long way toward helping.

The Benefits of Training
If you are like most people, you are extremely busy. Some days, there just doesn't seem like enough hours to take care of yourself, let alone a dog! But, the time that you spend training your dog will reward you and your relationship for many, many years to come.

There are five main benefits of training:
1. It builds a relationship. 2. It corrects behavioral problems. 3. It stimulates intellect. 4. It encourages inclusion. 5. It saves time. Let's explore each benefit in further detail.

1. Training Builds a Relationship.
There is no better way to create a bond with your dog than through the process of training. You may think that training begins at the time you decide to try new tricks, but it actually begins at the very moment you acquire your dog.

Your dog is constantly watching you and learning from your actions. He learns from the way you react to his actions. He looks to you for guidance, for food, for warmth, for comfort, and for playtime.

2. Training Corrects Behavioral Problems.
Barking at anyone who passes by the front window, chewing up your favorite pillows, digging through your freshly planted garden, bolting out of an open door...do any of these actions look familiar to you?

When you have developed a trusting bond with your dog, you can teach him how to correct these behavioral problems. He will learn by your reactions whether or not his actions are acceptable to you. No doubt, he will test his limits!

3. Training Stimulates Intellect.

Yes, it is true that dogs are very curious creatures. With exposure to so many unusual smells, sights, and sounds, dogs can't help but want to explore. It's in their nature!

Most dogs have the capacity to be very intelligent. But, they need to be stimulated first, and then they will be motivated to learn. Training is a huge benefit for stimulating your dog's intellect.

4. Training Encourages Inclusion.
The sense of "inclusion" is very important to a dog's security. From the earliest days of being a part of a litter, your dog feels comfortable being a part of the pack. That includes the pack of your household.

You may be the primary dog trainer, but everyone in your family or household should take the time to train your dog. When he receives this undivided attention from everyone, he feels like part of the pack.

5. Training Saves Time.
Another huge benefit of training your dog is that it saves you time. Taking the time to train your dog now, will actually save you time in the long run. For example, if you take the time to train your dog to behave properly inside the house, you will actually be saving time cleaning up mischievous messes that he could create in the future-if he didn't have the training.

Sharda Baker


Sharda Baker has published several dog ebook and audios.
Click Here for more dog training help and advice.


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Metered Internet 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, January 13, 2011

Today the topic of online petitions came up again.
They are a waste of time.at best, and usually just phishing
for addresses to send junkmail and spam to. Nobody gives
a hoot about how many names are on an online petition.
They count about as much as comments on a news story.
Good for a chuckle, if some comments are funny, but that's
it.

An online petition to stop Verizon and Sprint from metering
and billing movie pirates and spammers more than they bill you,
is taken about as seriously as a petition to have the outside 
temperature raised. The same applies to any other online
petition.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
Heredity: Everyone believes in it until their children act like idiots! --- Socratex Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles. --- Pat Paulsen
Here is one that I re-wrote and shortened to this form a few years ago and that came back today: A guy goes to a girl's house for the first time and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go fix them a couple drinks. As he's standing there he notices a cute little vase on the mantel. He picks it up and as he's looking at it, she walks back in. He says, "What's this?" She says, "Oh, my father's ashes are in there." He turns beet red and says, "Gee, oh...I'm sorry...I..." She continues, "Yeah, he's too lazy to go to the kitchen to get an ashtray."
Tinnitus Cure The Most Powerful & Unique Guide to help people REVERSE their ear ringing using Holistic Medicine. Like Diabetes, Tinnitus can not be cured with what doctors prescribe. It just would not be profitable for them and the pharmacists. But there ARE ways aound them, that have consistent and predictable results. If you hear a constant hiss or wind noise, get rid of it with the Tinnitus Cure
A tourist is visiting New York City when his car breaks down. He jumps out and starts fiddling under the hood. About five minutes later, he hears some thumping sounds and looks around to see someone taking stuff out of his trunk! He runs around and yells, "Hey, bud,this is my car!" "OK," the man says, "You take the front and I`ll take the back."
Thanks to Dad for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. This Easter Cactus normally blooms in April, but something spooked it and caused it to bloom yesterday.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Steve, the lawnmower DUI guy from southern Louisiana DUI on Scissor-Lift Steve from South Louisiana, just can’t seem to stay out of trouble with the law and has been arrested again, this time for taking a scissor lift on a beer run. Steve can’t get it through his thick head even after his original Lawnmower DUI that he shouldn’t be driving these things on the road. Watch the video of his latest arrest at Steves Scissorlift DUI arrest
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ann Re: Petition against metered Internet Dear Webby What do you make of this? Truth or Fiction (I couldn't find it on their site) (Link to a phony petition against metered Internet access) Thanks. Ann Dear Ann Read the small print of your contract with Shaw. Your account has always been metered. You get x number o Gigabytes file transfer included in your contract, and pay extra for anything above that. Same with Telus. Only some of the exorbitantly priced business accounts are unmetered and unlimited. There is nothing wrong with metering. Why should YOU pay for the kid next door downloading two dozen pirated movies every night and sending them to a hundred buddies, or for the spammer across the street? The metering simply ensures that those, who have ridiculously high transfer rates, pay for their usage, instead of their cost getting spread over everybody else's bill, including yours. By the way, the Shaw installer, who was supposed to connect me to Shaw last Friday, and instead went to Drumheller, 100 miles NorthEast from here, and left a door knob hanger at somebody's house there, still has not found Black Diamond. Maybe the big boys told Shaw that Shaw is not allowed in this area. Who knows? Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! 1 Minute Setup. Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
A taxicab went out of control and raced crazily through traffic. "Can't you stop it?" the passenger yelled at the driver. "No!" shouted the driver. "Well," said the passenger, "at least turn off the meter!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Store Toiletries in Small Tote Each of our 3 children has a small plastic tote (like the ones to hold cleaning supplies) stored in our hall linen closet to take into the bathroom. They keep all of their toiletries (including combs, medications and toothbrush/ toothpaste) in these totes. I got the idea from my dorm days when we had to hike down the hall to the showers. It really saves room in our small bathroom, and the tote can be ported to the kitchen or downstairs bath if necessary. By Lori L from Minneapolis, MN http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "I'd like to get you guys in now, but our computer's down. You'll have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can't go back as priests. What'll it be?" The first priest says, "I've always wanted to be an eagle, soaring above the Rocky Mountains." "So be it," says St. Peter, and off flies the first priest. The second priest mulls this over for a moment and asks, "Will any of this week 'count,' St. Peter?" "No, I told you the computer's down. There's no way we can keep track of what you're doing." "In that case," says the second priest, "I've always wanted to be a stud." "So be it" says St. Peter, and the second priest disappears. A week goes by, the computer is fixed, and the Lord tells St. Peter to recall the two priests. "Will you have any trouble locating them?" He asks. "The first one should be easy," says St. Peter. "He's somewhere over the Rockies, flying with the eagles. But the second one could prove to be more difficult." "Why?" asketh the Lord. "He's on a studded snow tire, somewhere in Montana."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order. There was a big sign posted: "No bills larger than $20 will be accepted." The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, "Believe me, if I HAD a bill larger than $20, I wouldn't be eating here."

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Breaking News 

The Washington Post

The Arctic ocean is warming up, icebergs are growing scarcer and in some places the seals are finding the water too hot, according to a report to the Commerce Department yesterday from Consulafft, at Bergen , Norway .

Reports from fishermen, seal hunters and explorers all point to a radical change in climate conditions and hitherto unheard-of temperatures in the Arctic zone.

Exploration expeditions report that scarcely any ice has been met as far north as 81 degrees 29 minutes. Soundings to a depth of 3,100 meters showed the gulf stream still very warm.

Great masses of ice have been replaced by moraines of earth and stones, the report continued, while at many points well known glaciers have entirely disappeared.

Very few seals and no white fish are found in the eastern Arctic, while vast shoals of herring and smelts which have never before ventured so far north, are being encountered in the old seal fishing grounds.


Within a few years it is predicted that due to the ice melt the sea will rise and make most coastal cities uninhabitable.





Oops! Never mind.

This report was from November 2, 1922, as reported by the Associated Press and published in the Washington Post - 88 years ago!


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