IE Address bar 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, January 18

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a 
NH man put toddler into running dryer
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1778 English navigator Captain James Cook discovered the 
 Hawaiian Islands, which he called the "Sandwich Islands." 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them. --- Pierre Beaumarchais (1732 - 1799) ______________________________________________________ A city slicker stopped his large, expensive car on a country road and looked about in confusion. He noticed a young farm hand leaning on a fence and called to him, "Hey, you know how far it is to Shrewsbury?" The farm hand thought about it and said, "Don't know." "Well then, do you know the best way to get there?" Again, the farm hand thought a bit and said, "Don't know." "Look, can you just tell me where the nearest gas station is so I can pick up a map?" "'Fraid I don't know that either." Frustrated, the man in the car snapped, "You don't know much do you?" To which the farm hand replied: "I know enough not to get lost in these here parts." ______________________________________________________ A doctor's secretary called an old farmer and said: "Your check came back." The old man replied, "So did my arthritis." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Roy for this picture: Click through for the big picture Lengkuas island, Indonesia
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Adam Morton 27 Berlin, New Hampshire Putting Toddler In Running Dryer A New Hampshire man who put his girlfriend's 2-year-old son in a running clothes dryer at her home has pleaded guilty to assault. WABI-TV reports that Adam Morton, of Berlin, New Hampshire, entered his plea in a Bangor courtroom on Tuesday. Authorities say the 27-year-old Morton was taking care of the boy in August while his girlfriend was at work. According to court documents, the boy suffered second-degree burns on his arms and back and burns and blisters on his feet. Morton told police the boy was in the dryer's drum for just one revolution, but investigators determined that the boy was in the dryer for a prolonged period. Morton is scheduled to be sentenced February 2. Prosecutors are recommending a two-year sentence. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Donny Re: IE address bar Dear Webby, Tried this - doesn't work. Any other ideas ? Was using 'Internet Eraser' and it did the job, but, am trying not to have too many programs running. Donny Dear Donny I thought you had written that you just want the address bar cleaned. If you don't mind that the history is wiped, then there are a few methods you could use. Even CrapCleaner will do that. Microsoft writes: Close all running instances of Internet Explorer and all browser windows. In Control Panel, click Internet Options. Click the General tab, and then click Clear History. Click Yes, and then click OK to close the Internet Options dialog box. Try that. Yes, I know it is a nuisance, but so is IE. Here is more information: https://kb.iu.edu/d/ahic Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Food Strainer for Cleaning Up Hard Boiled Eggs My husband loves hard boiled eggs for a quick, healthier, more than normal snack. With time, I've tried other tips I've read about concerning hard boiled eggs and would like to share my recent discovery. I now place our food strainer in the sink before I peel the hard boiled eggs under water. When I'm done, I just empty the strainer into the trash can and then rinse the strainer. It took less than a minute to clean up the peeled shells from a dozen eggs. Once peeled, I lay some paper towels in the bottom of some Rubbermaid containers, place in the refrigerator, and the eggs stay good for over a week. By CaroleeRose from Madison, AL ______________________________________________________ >From Lorna On a trip to Enseńada, Mexico, for the day, we parked in front of some interesting-looking shops. A little boy ran over to us and said, "Seńor, I watch your car, fifty cent!" I asked him to wait "un momento" and entered a shop to ask the owner in Spanish about the young lad. He explained to me, "You give him the fifty cents, he runs away. You don't give him money, he runs away with your hubcaps and gas cap."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
The preacher spent his whole sermon relating the evils of sin and how all men are sinners with no exceptions. At the end of the sermon he asked rhetorically, "Now does anyone here think they are without sin?" He had only to wait a few seconds before a man in one of the back pews stood up. The pastor asked the man who had the audacity to stand after such a fiery sermon, "Sir, do you really think you are completely without sin?" The man quickly answered, "No sir, I'm not standing up for myself, but for my wife's first husband." _____________________________________________________ An Avon lady was along in an elevator when she suddenly had to fart. She promptly reached into her bag and sprayed the air with her deodorizer. Two floors later a gentleman got onto the elevator. He began to sniff. The Avon lady asked, "Do you smell something?" "Why, yes, I do," he replied. "What does it smell like?" "Hmmm, I'm not sure, ...... but it smells like a pine tree fell on an outhouse."
I love dog faces and there are some funny ones here.

Today in 
January 18
1778 English navigator Captain James Cook discovered the 
 Hawaiian Islands, which he called the "Sandwich Islands." 
1788 The first English settlers arrived in Australia's 
 Botany Bay to establish a penal colony. The group moved 
 north eight days later and settled at Port Jackson. 
1871 Wilhelm, King of Prussia from 1861, was proclaimed 
 the first German Emperor. 
1896 The x-ray machine was exhibited for the first time. 
1911 For the first time an aircraft landed on a ship. Pilot 
 Eugene B. Ely flew onto the deck of the USS Pennsylvania 
 in San Francisco harbor. 
1939 Louis Armstrong and his orchestra recorded 
 "Jeepers Creepers." 
1943 During World War II, the Soviets announced that they 
 had broken the Nazi siege of Leningrad, which had began 
 in September of 1941. 
1943 U.S. commercial bakers stopped selling sliced bread. 
 Only whole loaves were sold during the ban until the end 
 of World War II. 
1950 The federal tax on oleomargarine was repealed. 
1957 The first, non-stop, around-the-world, jet flight came 
 to an end at Riverside, CA. The plane was refueled in 
 mid-flight by huge aerial tankers. 
1978 The European Court of Human Rights cleared the British 
 government of torture but found it guilty of inhuman and 
 degrading treatment of prisoners in Northern Ireland. 
1990 In an FBI sting, Washington, DC, Mayor Marion Barry 
 was arrested for drug possession. He was later convicted 
 of a misdemeanor.
1993 The Martin Luther King Jr. holiday was observed in 
 all 50 U.S. states for the first time. 
1995 A network of caves were discovered near the town of 
 Vallon-Pont-d'Arc in southern France. The caves contained 
 paintings and engravings that were 17,000 to 20,000 
 years old. 
2002 The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) announced 
 the approval of a saliva-based ovulation test. 
2012 Wikipedia began a 24-hour "blackout" in protest against 
 proposed anti-piracy legislation (S. 968 and H.R. 3261) 
 known as the Protect Intellectual Property Act (PIPA) in 
 the Senate and the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) in the 
 House. Many websites, including Reddit, Google, Facebook, 
 Amazon and others, contended would make it challenging 
 if not impossible for them to operate. 
2015  smiled.


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Clean IE address bar 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, January 17

Ezinefinder is still stuck in 2014,
but it looks like they are trying to add the votes to the
2014 total. Well, maybe next week they will figure
it out.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a 
man in Florida for tossing a bag of cocaine onto a 
police car.
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
2000 British pharmaceutical companies Glaxo Wellcome PLC and 
 SmithKline Beecham PLC agreed to a merger that created the 
 world's largest drugmaker. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
In journalism, there has always been a tension between getting it first and getting it right. --- Ellen Goodman (1941 - ) ______________________________________________________ A clean house is a sign of a broken computer. My computer is not broken, and thanks to Uniblue PC Mechanic, it is actually in pretty good shape. I wish there was something like that for house cleaning! ______________________________________________________ A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Roy for this picture: Click through for the big picture The Waterfall Island at Iguazu Falls
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Luis Vazquez, 30, Jose Vales, 38, Kissimmee, Florida Thrown Cocaine Landed On Hood Of Police Car In a botched bid to ditch evidence, a Florida man allegedly threw a bag of cocaine out the sunroof of a vehicle in which he was a passenger, but the drug landed squarely on the hood of a trailing police car, according to investigators. As detailed in a Kissimmee Police Department report, cop Christopher Breuer sought to pull over a gold Acura around 2 AM yesterday after the vehicle nearly slammed into his cruiser. Though Breuer activated his car’s overhead lights, the other vehicle, which carried two men, continued moving. While shining a spotlight on the Acura, Breuer noted, “I saw the sun roof of the vehicle open.” Breuer slowed his car down since, “I knew the passenger was going to throw something out of the vehicle.” Breuer then watched as the vehicle’s passenger stick his right hand out of the sunroof. “At this time, I observed a clear bag come out of the sun roof and fly into the air. This same bag landed on the hood of my vehicle as I slowed down,” the cop reported. After the Acura eventually pulled into the parking lot of a 7-Eleven store, Breuer quizzed the car’s occupants about the airborne cocaine. While Luis Vazquez, 30, denied tossing the stash, driver Jose Vales, 38, did not hesitate to finger his passenger as the coke hurler. “Vales spontaneously uttered to me that it was Vazquez that threw the ‘baggie’ out of the window,” Breuer reported. Both men were subsequently arrested on a variety of drug counts. Vazquez was also charged with evidence tampering for flinging the cocaine. Vazquez (left) and Vales are pictured in the above mug shots. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Donny Re: Clean IE address bar Dear Webby, Hope your health and eyesight are well. Love your letter - read it every day and fwd some jokes to friends. Am wondering if you can help -I would like to know how to permanently delete the list of typed URL's in the address bar, short of rebooting constantly. Any advice would be welcome - am using Windows 7 and IE11. Donny Dear Donny Try this: Tools Internet Options Content AutoComplete Clear Forms Anything more radical would delete your history. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cube Potatoes to Speed Cooking Time If you are boiling potatoes to mash, it doesn't take long to dice the raw, peeled potatoes instead of halving or quartering them. It really speeds up boiling time. Having said this, I did read of someone who took it a bit further. They grated their potatoes, and the result was grey wallpaper paste! So half inch cubes is probably the best option. By Verity Pink [20] ______________________________________________________ A tourist climbed out of his car in downtown Washington, D.C. He said to a man standing near the curb, "Listen, I'm going to be only a couple of minutes. Would you watch my car while I run into this store to get some smokes?" "What?" the man huffed. "Do you realize that I am a member of the United States Senate?" "Well no," the tourist said, "I didn't realize that. I guess I better find somebody a bit more trustworthy."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
After tucking their three-year-old child Sammy in for bed one night, his parents heard sobbing coming from his room. Rushing back in, they found him crying hysterically. He managed to tell them that he had swallowed a penny and he was sure he was going to die. No amount of talking was helping. His father, in an attempt to calm him down, palmed a penny from his pocket and pretended to pull it from Sammy's ear. Sammy was delighted. In a flash, he snatched it from his father's hand, swallowed it, then cheerfully demanded, "Do it again, Daddy, do it again!!!" _____________________________________________________ A monastery in the English countryside had fallen on hard times, and decided to establish a business to defray their expenses, such as a bakery or winery. Being English, however, they decided to open a fish-and-chips restaurant. The establishment soon became very popular, attracting people from all over. One city fellow, thinking himself clever, asked one of the brothers standing nearby, "I suppose you're the 'fish friar'?" "No", answered the brother levelly, "I'm the 'chip monk'."
Korean homeless boy steals the talent show

Today in 
1377 The Papal See was transferred from Avignon in France 
 back to Rome. 
1562 French Protestants were recognized under the Edict 
of St. Germain. 
1773 Captain Cook's Resolution became the first ship to 
 cross the Antarctic Circle. 
1852 The independence of the Transvaal Boers was recognized 
 by Britain. 
1871 Andrew S. Hallidie received a patent for a cable 
 car system. 
1882 Thomas Edison's exhibit opened the Crystal Palace 
 Exhibition in London. 
1893 Hawaii's monarchy was overthrown when a group of 
 businessmen and sugar planters forced Queen Liliuokalani 
 to abdicate. 
1900 The U.S. took Wake Island where there was in important 
 cable link between Hawaii and Manila. 
1900 Yaqui Indians in Texas proclaimed their independence 
 from Mexico. 
1900 Mormon Brigham Roberts was denied a seat in the U.S. 
 House of Representatives for his practicing of polygamy. 
1912 English explorer Robert Falcon Scott reached the 
 South Pole. Norwegian Roald Amundsen had beaten him there 
 by one month. Scott and his party died during the 
 return trip. 
1913 All partner interests in 36 Golden Rule Stores were 
 consolidated and incorporated in Utah into one company. 
 The new corporation was the J.C. Penney Company. 
1928 The fully automatic, film-developing machine was 
 patented by A.M. Josepho. 
1934 Ferdinand Porsche submitted a design for a people's 
 car, a "Volkswagen," to the new German Reich government. 
1945 Soviet and Polish forces liberated Warsaw during WW II. 
1945 Swedish diplomat Raoul Wallenberg disappeared in Hungary 
 while in Soviet custody. Wallenberg was credited with 
 saving tens of thousands of Jews. 
1959 Senegal and the French Sudan joined to form the 
 Federal State of Mali. 
1961 In his farewell address, U.S. President Eisenhower 
 warned against the rise of "the military-industrial complex." 
1966 A B-52 carrying four H-bombs collided with a refuelling 
 tanker. The bombs were released and eight crewmembers were 
 killed. 
1977 Double murderer Gary Gilmore became the first to be 
 executed in the U.S. in a decade. The firing squad took 
 place at Utah State Prison. 
1991 Coalition airstrikes began against Iraq after 
 negotiations failed to get Iraq to retreat from the 
 country of Kuwait. 
1992 An IRA bomb, placed next to a remote country road in 
 County Tyrone, Northern Ireland, killed seven building 
 workers and injured seven others. 
1994 The Northridge earthquake rocked Los Angeles, CA, 
 registering a 6.7 on the Richter Scale. At least 61 people 
 were killed and about $20 billion in damage was caused. 
1995 More than 6,000 people were killed when an earthquake 
 with a magnitude of 7.2 devastated the city of Kobe, Japan. 
1997 A court in Ireland granted the first divorce in the 
 Roman Catholic country's history. 
1997 Israel gave over 80% of Hebron to Palestinian rule, 
 but held the remainder where several hundred Jewish settlers 
 lived among 20,000 Palestinians. 
1998 U.S. President Clinton gave his deposition in the Paula 
 Jones sexual harassment lawsuit against him. He was the 
 first U.S. President to testify as a defendant in a criminal 
 or civil lawsuit. 
2000 British pharmaceutical companies Glaxo Wellcome PLC and 
 SmithKline Beecham PLC agreed to a merger that created the 
 world's largest drugmaker. 
2001 The director of Palestinian TV, Hisham Miki, was killed 
 at a restaurant when three masked gunmen walked up to his 
 table and shot him more than 10 times. 
2002 It was announced that Microsoft had signed a joint venture 
 agreement to produce software with two partners in China. 
 The two partners were Beijin Centergate Technologies (Holding) Co. 
 and the Stone Group.
2009 The iTunes Music Store reached 500 million 
 applications downloaded.
2015  smiled.


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UniBlue 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, January 16
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
kentucky man, who held woman at gunpoint and
tattooed 'slut' on her back
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1979 The Shah of Iran and his family fled Iran for Egypt.  
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
No man ever listened himself out of a job. --- Calvin Coolidge (1872 - 1933) ______________________________________________________ I went out to this restaurant not long ago and met the waitress of my dreams. About halfway through dinner I called the waitress over and said, "Ma'am, this potato is bad." She nodded, picked up the potato, and smacked it. Then she put it back on my plate and said, "Sir, if that potato causes any more trouble, you just let me know." ______________________________________________________ The captain was attempting to rally the GIs on the eve of a big offensive. "Out there," he yelled, "is your enemy. The man who has made your life miserable, who is working to destroy you; the man who has been trying to kill you day after day! He is out there!." Private Johnson jumped to his feet. "The cook ! The cook is working for THEM!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Roy for this picture: Click through for the big picture Mount Kilimanjaro
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Michael Aaron Joseph, 30, Shelby County Kentucky Held Woman At Gunpoint, Tattooed 'Slut' On Her Back A Kentucky man remains behind bars after allegedly assaulting a woman by tattooing the word "slut" on her back while holding her at gunpoint. A grand jury indicted Michael Aaron Joseph, 30, last week on a variety of charges including second-degree assault, first-degree wanton endangerment and first-degree unlawful imprisonment. The charges stem from an incident last May, where Joseph allegedly accused the victim of contacting her ex-boyfriend. During an argument, Joseph “repeatedly struck [the victim] in the mouth, face and head area with a pistol,” according to a police report obtained by the Anderson News. When the two arrived home, the suspect allegedly grabbed a .22 caliber pistol and showed the woman it was loaded. Then he held her on the floor while tattooing "slut" on her back, LEX18.com reports. Joseph remains jailed in the Shelby County Detention Center on $15,000 cash bail. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: MooMoo Re: Uni Blue Dear Webby, You used to have a link to a registry fixer called Blue or Uno Blue or something like that. I used it for years and was quite happy with it. Where do you hide it now? MooMoo Dear MooMoo It's in the tool box at http://webby.com/tools It is just below the LapLink PC-Mover, the one and only program for hassle-free, hands-free migrating to a new machine or new Operating system. Go have lunch while it moves your programs and files from XP to W7 or W8. Because of your sexy name, I'll put the link to UniBlue here too for a while. They have a very nice discount for January, if you use that link. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cube Potatoes to Speed Cooking Time If you are boiling potatoes to mash, it doesn't take long to dice the raw, peeled potatoes instead of halving or quartering them. It really speeds up boiling time. Having said this, I did read of someone who took it a bit further. They grated their potatoes, and the result was grey wallpaper paste! So half inch cubes is probably the best option. By Verity Pink [20] ______________________________________________________ A local Pastor joined a community Service Club, and the members thought they would have some fun with him. Under his name badge they printed, "Hog Caller" as his occupation. Everyone made a big fanfare as the badge was presented. The Pastor responded by saying, "I usually am called the "Shepherd'... but I am sure you know your people better than I do."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
As the high school teacher was correcting essays written by her students she read, "Diana jumped on his burrow and rode off into the sunset." She wrote at the bottom of the page, "You obviously have problems with similar sounding words. A burrow is a hole in the ground. A burro is an ass. At your age it's time to learn the difference." _____________________________________________________ An elderly Jewish woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and a Rolex." "But you are not wearing any of those things." "Oy, don't I know it," she said. "My husband never buys me anything! It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry."
I'm a dog lover and I'm so glad that lost "Arthur" found this race team from Sweden to join on their 430 mile endurance trek through the Amazonian rain forest. Arthur has a brave heart and the four people whom he attached himself to were good people to allow and help him to travel with them. Arthur deserves a medal for bravery and endurance. Dogs are awesome!

Today in 
1547 Ivan the Terrible was crowned Czar of Russia. 
1572 The Duke of Norfolk was tried for treason for 
 complicity in the Ridolfi plot to restore Catholicism in 
 England. He was executed on June 2. 
1809 The British defeated the French at the Battle of 
 Corunna, in the Peninsular War. 
1866 Mr. Everett Barney patented the metal screw, 
 clamp skate. 
1900 The U.S. Senate consented to the Anglo-German treaty 
 of 1899, by which the U.K. renounced rights to the Samoan 
 islands. 
1919 The 18th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, which 
 prohibited the sale or transportation of alcoholic beverages, 
 was ratified. It was later repealed by the 21st Amendment. 
1920 Prohibition went into effect in the U.S. 
1925 Leon Trotsky was dismissed as Chairman of the 
 Revolutionary Council of the USSR. 
1970 Colonel Muammar el-Quaddafi became virtual president 
 of Libya. 
1970 Buckminster Fuller, the designer of the geodesic dome, 
 was awarded the Gold Medal of the American Institute of 
 Architects. 
1979 The Shah of Iran and his family fled Iran for Egypt. 
1982 Britain and the Vatican resumed full diplomatic 
 relations after a break of over 400 years. 
1985 "Playboy" magazine announced its 30-year tradition of 
 stapling centerfold models in the bellybutton and 
 elsewhere would come to an immediate end. 
1988 Jimmy "The Greek" Snyder was fired as a CBS sports 
 commentator one day after telling a TV station in Washington, 
 DC, that, during the era of slavery, blacks had been bred 
 to produce stronger offspring. 
1998 Researchers announce that an altered gene helped to 
 defend against HIV. 
1991 The White House announced the start of Operation Desert 
 Storm. The operation was designed to drive Iraqi forces 
 out of Kuwait. 
1992 Officials of the government of El Salvador and rebel 
 leaders signed a pact in Mexico City ending 12 years of 
 civil war. At least 75,000 people were killed during 
 the fighting. 
1998 The first woman to enroll at Virginia Military 
 Institute withdrew from the school. 
1998 It was announced that Texas would receive $15.3 
 billion in a tobacco industry settlement. The payouts 
 were planned to take place over 25 years. 
2002 U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft announced that 
 John Walker Lindh would be brought to the United States 
 to face trial. He was charged in U.S. District Court in 
 Alexandria, VA, with conspiracy to kill U.S. citizens, 
 providing support to terrorist organizations, and 
 engaging in prohibited transactions with the Taliban 
 of Afghanistan. 
2002 The U.N. Security Council unanimously adopted 
 sanctions against Osama bin Laden, his terror network 
 and the remnants of the Taliban. The sanctions required 
 that all nations impose arms embargoes and freeze 
 their finances. 
2009 The iTunes Music Store reached 500 million 
 applications downloaded.
2015  smiled.


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Ezinefinder site problems 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, January 15

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Folkestone dad Lee Webb jailed 
after sending three-year-old son to nursery 
with drug dealer's kit including 
Class A drugs and knives
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1624 Many riots occurred in Mexico when it was announced that 
 all churches were to be closed. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three major categories - those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost. --- Russell Baker (1925 - ) I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. --- Totie Fields ______________________________________________________ From Buzzy CALLER: "I cannot log onto your Internet." BUZZY: "What error message are you getting?" CALLER: "I am not getting an error message. It just says 'Error, incorrect username or password'." BUZZY: "That IS an error message!" CALLER: "Then what does it mean?" BUZZY: "Can you read me that Error message again?" CALLER: "Incorrect user name or password." BUZZY: "Try using the password that your wife wrote on the mouse pad for you" CALLER: "Why didn't you tell me that right away instead of wasting all my time?" ______________________________________________________ Computer problems? Have you checked the loose nut in front of the keyboard? ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Roy for this picture: Click through for the big picture The temple of sky, Iceland
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Lee Webb Folkestone 23 Burrow Road, Folkestone, England Folkestone dad Lee Webb jailed after sending three-year-old son to nursery with drug dealer's kit including Class A drugs and knives A dopey dad accidentally sent his son to nursery school with a "drug dealer's kit" instead of his usual pack lunch. EDF Tree surgeon Lee Webb confused the two bags before taking his child to the Smarty Pants Nursery in Folkestone. Staff opened up the toddler's rucksack expecting to find food and drink for lunch, but instead, discovered cocaine and mephedrone – a banned stimulant – inside. And alongside the illegal substances, they found two knives, a set of scales and other drugs paraphernalia. Judge James O'Mahony told him: "You sent your three-year-old son to nursery with a rucksack containing a significant quantity of class A and B drugs. In effect, you sent your son there with a drug dealer's kit!" Prosecutor Mary Jacobson told Canterbury Crown Court that staff alerted police – but then the child's father Lee Webb turned up and demanded the bag back. She said that they refused to hand over the Tupperware box and Webb then left. Now Webb, 23, from Burrow Road, Folkestone has been jailed for four years after admitting possessing the Class A and B drugs. Judge O'Mahony told him: "Your stupidity put children at risk and I consider the potential exposure to children of these drugs is so serious only an immediate custodial sentence can be justified." “The staff noted the bag contained what they thought could be drugs and they called the police. “The defendant later returned and asked for the bag back but staff would not return it and the defendant then left. “A PCSO then arrived and took possession of the Tupperware tub with white powder, a blue wrap, a spoon, weighing scales and two knives, “ she added. Officers later raided his home and arrested him – and noted of his hand he had written details of a local solicitor. Webb, who also had a stash of Ł680 at hishouse, claimed he had been given the bag by another person to look after overnight. But the judge told him: “You maintain you were holding the drugs on behalf of another and that you were expecting to be paid cash for holding the drugs. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Rita Re: Ezinefinder Dear Webby, Hello, dear Webby, EZINE is working, do not worry: Rita Dear Rita Did you check at http://www.ezinefinder.com/index.html to see if they are just messing with your head, or if they finally switched over to 2015? Last year, 2014, ended with 15840. This year, 2015, if the votes were actually counted, not just a placebo screen to fool you, then they should be about 700. You can write to lewis@cumuli.com support@cumuli.com cumuli@cumuli.com http://www.ezinefinder.com/contact.html http://www2.thriftyfun.com/about/contact.lasso and tell them to stop pretending and to finally change the date to 2015. They don't answer me. Maybe they think the big brutes on Linux are picking on the little guys on Apples. They HAVE now added a couple of votes to last year's votes. Maybe they will switch to 2015 soon. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Citrus Peels for Garbage Disposal Odors To avoid odor or make odor go away, put lemon, lime, or orange peels and grind in the disposal with hot water. You will notice the odors will go away. Source: My grandma used to do it By Tiffany R. [2] ______________________________________________________ A bus load of new recruits arrived at the reception center, and was greeted by an old drill sergeant. He began his speech, "Welcome to Fort Dix, men. From now on, I want you to think of the Army as your family and as your home." Hearing this, one of the recruits broke formation, sat down and lit a cigarette. "Private, what the F**K are you doing?" yelled the sergeant. "Well," said the private, "I'm just making myself at home. Like you said, this is my home." Thinking fast, the sergeant said, "Son, you listen good, and you're right. This is your home. So, as soon as you finish that cigarette, I want you to report to the mess hall to help mother with the dishes for the next 3 months."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
A woman answered her front door and found Little Johnny and Billy holding a list. "Lady," Johnny explained, "we are on a scavenger hunt, and we still need three grains of wheat, a pork chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper to earn a dollar." "Wow," the woman replied. "Who sent you on such a challenging hunt?" "Our baby-sitter's boyfriend." _____________________________________________________ A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend. The woman replied, "A billionaire."
“There was nowhere to go but everywhere” Beautiful roads from around the world. I especially like the tree covered roads that feel like you're going through a tunnel.

Today in 
1559 England's Queen Elizabeth I was crowned in Westminster Abbey. 
1624 Many riots occurred in Mexico when it was announced that 
 all churches were to be closed. 
1863 "The Boston Morning Journal" became the first paper in 
 the U.S. to be published on wood pulp paper. 
1870 A cartoon by Thomas Nast titled "A Live Jackass Kicking 
 a Dead Lion" appeared in "Harper's Weekly." The cartoon used 
 the donkey to symbolize the Democratic Party for the first time. 
1892 "Triangle" magazine in Springfield, MA, published the 
 rules for a brand new game. The original rules involved 
 attaching a peach baskets to a suspended board. It is now 
 known as basketball. 
1913 The first telephone line between Berlin and New York 
 was inaugurated. 
1936 The first, all glass, windowless building was completed 
 in Toledo, OH. The building was the new home of the Owens-
 Illinois Glass Company Laboratory. 
1943 The Pentagon was dedicated as the world's largest office 
 building just outside Washington, DC, in Arlington, VA. 
 The structure covers 34 acres of land and has 17 miles 
 of corridors. 
1953 Harry S Truman became the first U.S. President to use 
 radio and television to give his farewell as he left office. 
1955 The first solar-heated, radiation-cooled house was built 
 by Raymond Bliss in Tucson, AZ. 
1967 The first National Football League Super Bowl was played. 
 The Green Bay Packers defeated the Kansas City Chiefs of the 
 American Football League. The final score was 35-10. 
1973 U.S. President Nixon announced the suspension of all U.S. 
 offensive action in North Vietnam. He cited progress in peace 
 negotiations as the reason. 
1986 President Reagan signed legislation making Martin Luther 
 King, Jr.'s birthday a national holiday to be celebrated on 
 the third Monday of January. 
1987 Paramount Home Video reported that it would place a 
 commercial at the front of one of its video releases for the 
 first time. It was a 30-second Diet Pepsi ad at the beginning 
 of "Top Gun." 
2003 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the U.S. Congress had 
 permission to repeatedly extend copyright protection.
2015  smiled.


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Pop-Ups caused by Trovi 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, January 14

Ezinefinder is still not working.
It might take a bunch more nagging to
get them to change the date to 2015.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
NY woman, who was arrested for drunk driving after drinking
vanilla extract.
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1878 Alexander Graham Bell demonstrated the telephone for 
 Britain's Queen Victoria. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of. --- Burt Bacharach (1928 - ) ______________________________________________________ Used to being the center of attention, Robbie was a little more than jealous of his new baby sister. The parents sat him down and said that now that she was getting older, the house was too small and they'd have to move. "It's no use." Robbie said, "She's crawling pretty good now and she'd probably just follow us." ______________________________________________________ Little Johnny was taking care of his baby sister while his parents went to town shopping. He decided to go fishing and he had to take her along. "I'll never do that again!" he told his mother that evening. "I didn't catch a thing!" "Oh, next time I'm sure she'll be quiet and not scare the fish away," his mother said. Little Johnny said, "It wasn't that. She ate all the bait." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Roy for this picture: Click through for the big picture NY Subway
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Carolyn Kesel 46, Seneca Falls, New York Arrested for drunk driving after drinking vanilla extract An accused drunk driver who allegedly blew a .26 on a breathalyzer told authorities she had been drinking vanilla extract before her arrest. Carolyn Kesel, 46, of Seneca Falls, New York, was arrested Jan. 5 after she was seen allegedly driving erratically around a Walmart parking lot in Mecedon, according to the New York Daily News. Kesel allegedly told police she drank two hand-sized bottles of pure vanilla extract in Lyons, became lost and could not find her way out of the Walmart parking lot. Her blood alcohol level at the time of her arrest was .26, three times the legal limit. The alcohol level on the vanilla extract was listed at 41 percent, which is similar to the alcohol content found in vodka or gin, ABC7.com reports. Kesel was charged with Felony DWI and Felony Aggravated DWI. She was remanded to the Wayne County Jail on $10,000 cash or $20,000 bond, Syracuse.com reports. The suspect was previously convicted of DWI in 2006. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Hermon Re: Trovi causing W7 Pop-Ups Dear Webby, Your reader’s problem with the pop ups is due to having contacted Trovi...... I had it attached to my browser. Hermon in Ky. Dear Hermon You are quite likely right, that it is indeed Trovi or something similar with a different name. Because I use McAfee and MalwareBytes, I have no first hand experience with those, just read about them. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com K-Cup Drain Stopper Take an unused Keurig cup and place it in the drain. A great temporary solution that works like a charm! K-Cup Drain Stopper By Craig J. [1] A 4" x 4" piece of car or truck innertube works even better. It snugs onto the bottom of a sink or tub and works better than any store-bought stopper. You can punch a hole into a corner and tie a string or ball-chain to it for easy retrieval. Tie the other end of the string to the overflow or faucets. For a dollar you can get the same at the Dollar Store. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ ===from Gina Esplanade - v., to attempt an explanation while drunk. Negligent - adj., describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightie. Bustard - n., a very rude bus driver FLORIDA: If you think we can't vote, wait 'till you see us drive. FLORIDA: Viagra voters do it again and again! Btw., I am from Florida, where you can get away with anything if you have blue hair. Gina===
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
Two guys were at a bar talking about how highly their wives thought of them. The first guy said, "My wife, she thinks so much of me that she won't let me do any work around the house. It's incredible." The second guy says, "That might be because you are such a klutz. My wife thinks I'm a God." "She thinks you're God? What makes you say that?" "Quite obvious. Every night she places a burnt offering before me." _____________________________________________________ A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money. The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn't been paid. The collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying, "We can't ship your new order until you pay for the last one." The next day the collections manager found a phone message: "Please cancel the order. We can't wait that long." --- Was that Kate in New York?
This is beautiful and so serene.

Today in 
1784 The United States ratified a peace treaty with England 
 ending the Revolutionary War. 
1858 French emperor Napoleon III escaped attempt on his life. 
1873 John Hyatt's 1869 invention ‘Celluloid’ was registered 
 as a trademark. 
1878 Alexander Graham Bell demonstrated the telephone for 
 Britain's Queen Victoria. 
1907 An earthquake killed over 1,000 people in Kingston, 
 Jamaica. 
1943 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt became the first 
 U.S. President to fly in an airplane while in office. He 
 flew from Miami, FL, to French Morocco where he met with 
 British Prime Minister Winston Churchill to discuss 
 World War II. 
1953 Josip Broz Tito was elected president of Yugoslavia
1954 Marilyn Monroe and Joe DiMaggio were married. The 
 marriage only lasted nine months. 
1954 The Hudson Motor Car Company merged with Nash-
 Kelvinator. The new company was called the American 
 Motors Corporation. 
1969 An explosion aboard the U.S. aircraft carrier 
 Enterprise off Hawaii killed 25 crew members. 
1993 The British government pledged to introduce legislation 
 to criminalize invasions of privacy by the press. 
1994 U.S. President Clinton and Russian President Boris 
 Yeltsin signed Kremlin accords to stop aiming missiles 
 at any nation and to dismantle the nuclear arsenal of 
 Ukraine. 
1996 Juan Garcia Abrego was arrested by Mexican agents. 
 The alleged drug lord was handed over to the FBI the 
 next day. 
1998 Whitewater prosecutors questioned Hillary Rodham 
 Clinton at the White House for 10 minutes about the 
 gathering of FBI background files on past Republican 
 political appointees. 
1998 In Dallas, researchers report an enzyme that slows 
 the aging process and cell death. 
1999 The impeachment trial of U.S. President Clinton 
 began in Washington, DC. 
1999 The U.S. proposed the lifting of the U.N. ceilings 
 on the sale of oil in Iraq. The restriction being that 
 the money be used to buy medicine and food for the 
 Iraqi people. 
2000 A U.N. tribunal sentenced five Bosnian Croats to up 
 to 25 years for the 1993 massacre of over 100 Muslims 
 in a Bosnian village. 
2005 A probe, from the Cassini-Huygens mission, sent back 
 pictures during and after landing on Saturn's moon Titan. 
 The mission was launched on October 15, 1997.
2015  smiled.


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W7 Pop-Ups 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, January 13

Thank you, Julia !!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida couple arrested for romp on car at dealership
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1906 Hugh Gernsback, of the Electro Importing Company, 
 advertised radio receivers for sale for the price of just 
 $7.50 in "Scientific American" magazine. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
College isn't the place to go for ideas. --- Helen Keller (1880 - 1968) What we call 'Progress' is the exchange of one nuisance for another nuisance. --- Havelock Ellis (1859 - 1939) ______________________________________________________ A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping. found it and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, "That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are 20 $1 bills." replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I returned a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward." ______________________________________________________ Most people use their hands and feet to drive -- a few also use their heads. ______________________________________________________ A professor was giving a lecture on company slogans in a college advertising and marketing class. "Joe," he asked, "which company has the slogan, 'Come fly the friendly skies'?" "United Airlines," Joe answered. "Brenda, can you tell me which company has the slogan, 'Don't leave home without it'?" Brenda easily answered correctly, "American Express." "Now, John, Tell me which company uses the slogan, 'Just do it'?" And John answered, "Mom." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Roy for this picture: Click through for the big picture
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Erin Byrd, 18, and Ramon Mitchell, 29, West Palm Beach Florida Police Arrest Couple For Auto Romp at dealership A Florida couple was arrested early yesterday after they were spotted having sex atop a 2004 Kia Sedona at a West Palm Beach auto dealership, police report. Officers responding to Mike’s Auto Sales discovered Erin Byrd, 18, and Ramon Mitchell, 29, “inside of a dealership vehicle which did not belong to either subject,” according to a police report. Cops were summoned to the closed business shortly before midnight by a witness who “advised officers he just witnessed both suspects having sex on top of the vehicle in plain sight.” The 39-year-old man added that he heard the trysting duo moaning. Apparently they had moved into the vehicle between the call for cops and their arrival. Upon exiting the minivan, Byrd and Mitchell were arrested. As the 300-pound Mitchell was being handcuffed, he spit in the face of a female officer, police reported. Owner Michael Melendez arrived at the dealership and told police that he “did not authorize anyone to be in his property after the business was closed,” the report states. Pictured above, Byrd and Mitchell were each charged with auto burglary, trespass, and lewd and lascivious behavior. Mitchell, who told cops he works at the Improv comedy club in West Palm Beach, was also hit with a felony charge of aggravated assault on a law enforcement officer for allegedly spitting on Officer Sarah Burgoon. Byrd was freed today from the Palm Beach County jail, where Mitchell remains locked up in lieu of $11,000 bail. The police report does not indicate whether a markdown may be in store for the used four-door sedan, which has been priced to move at $3995. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Miriam Re: W7 Pop-Ups Dear Webby, I have Windows 7 and use Chrome. I have been getting pop ups saying I need to update Java drivers, Attention 13 viruses detected, You may need to fix Windows errors, also need to update media center, etc. I ran a McAfee scan and they found 3 viruses and 4 things they blocked. I have trouble deciding which things I really should update or which I should ignore. Miriam Dear Miriam SOME of that looks legit, the rest of it seems to be from an invited Trojan infection. Java probably does need to be updated, but with the rest of it, I would be very careful. Try to find out where the PopUp is trying to send you to, and tell me. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Making a Multidirectional Spray Bottle It's really annoying trying to get your cleaning done when you are forced to hold your spray bottle upright in order for anything to spray out. Here is an easy fix to use your spray bottle in any position. Materials: flexible aquarium air tubing (about 1 inch shorter than the original tube) stainless steel nut scissors Directions: Twist the nut on to one end of the aquarium tubing. Closeup of the tubing with the nut attached. Cut off about an inch and a half of the original spray bottle's tube and push it into one end of the aquarium tubing. Reattach this to the spray handle. The weight of the nut will swing the tube, keeping the tip submerged under the liquid. If you add more nuts, you can even use your spray bottle upside down! Source: My genius husband By attosa from Los Angeles, CA ______________________________________________________ A woman phoned her dentist when she received a huge bill. "I'm shocked!" she complained. "This is three times what you normally charge." "Yes, I know," said the dentist. "But you screamed so loudly, you scared away two other patients."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
Ole and Lena lived on a lake in Northern Minnesota. It was beginning of winter and the lake had just frozen over. Ole asked Lena if she would walk across the frozen lake to the general store to pick him up some tobacco. She asked for some money, but he told her to put it on their tab. So she walked across, got the tobacco and walked back. Then she asked Ole why he didn't send her with any money. He said, "I vasn't goin' to send any money ven I vasn't sure how tick de ice vas." _____________________________________________________ During a friendly argument, a husband asked his wife why she married him in the first place. "I was just stupid," she teased. When he said he was happy to hear that, she requested an explanation. "People get divorced all the time because they fall out of love," he said. "But I've never heard of anybody falling out of stupid."
Too many great photos to choose a favorite but being an animal lover I just love "One Happy Fox" and the two baby ducks "First Flight."

Today in 
1128 Pope Honorius II granted a papal sanction to the military
 order known as the Knights Templar. He declared it to be an 
 army of God. 
1854 Anthony Faas of Philadelphia, PA, was granted the first 
 U.S. patent for the accordion. He made improvements to the 
 keyboard and enhanced the sound of the ancient instrument. 
1900 In Austria-Hungary, Emperor Franz Joseph decreed that 
 German would be the language of the imperial army to combat 
 Czech nationalism. 
1906 Hugh Gernsback, of the Electro Importing Company, 
 advertised radio receivers for sale for the price of just 
 $7.50 in "Scientific American" magazine. 
1928 Ernst F. W. Alexanderson gave the first public 
 demonstration of television. 
1942 Henry Ford patented the plastic automobile referred 
 to as the "Soybean Car." The car was 30% lighter than 
 the average car. 
1984 Wayne Gretzky extended his NHL consecutive scoring 
 streak to 45 games. 
1992 Japan apologized for forcing tens of thousands of Korean 
 women to serve as sex slaves for Japanese soldiers during 
 World War II. 
2002 Japan and Singapore signed a free trade pact that would 
 remove tariffs on almost all goods traded between the 
 two countries. 
2009 Ethiopian military forces began pulling out of Somalia, 
 where they had tried to maintain order for nearly two years. 
2015  smiled.


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Windows compatibility warning 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, January 12

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Drunk Florida woman, who tried hit 
and run during traffic stop
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
2000 The U.S. Supreme Court, in a 5-4 ruling, gave police 
 broad authority to stop and question people who run at 
 the sight of an officer. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Some circumstantial evidence is very strong, as when you find a trout in the milk. --- Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862) ______________________________________________________ Children have started growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and start refusing to tell you where they are going. ______________________________________________________ In America the late night news used to broadcast this message: "It's 11 o'clock do you know where your children are? In England they say "Its 11 o'clock do you know where your wife is?" In France they say "It's 11 o'clock do you know where your husband is?" In Poland they say: "Its 11 o'clock do you know where you are?" In Iran they say: "Its 11 o'clock and we know where you are." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Roy for this picture: Click through for the big picture Cordon del Caulle erupts in Chile
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Amy Lee Giorgio 30 Gulf Breeze Florida Drunk woman tries hit and run during traffic stop A Gulf Breeze police officer was seriously injured Monday afternoon when he was run over by a motorist during a traffic stop, according to law enforcement officials. About 2 p.m., Sgt. Kerstan Tatro stopped Amy Lee Giorgio, 30, after seeing her driving erratically near the south end of the Pensacola Bay Bridge, Gulf Breeze Chief of Police Robert Randle said. As Tatro was standing by Giorgio's driver's side window speaking to her, he reportedly noticed Giorgio trying to put her Lexus CV into gear. Tatro reached into the window in an attempt to grab her car keys out of the ignition, Randle said. Giorgio accelerated with Tatro still partway in her window, carried him a short distance and ran him over when he fell from the vehicle's side. "I don't know the complete extent of his injuries, but his arm was fractured in the window," Randle said. "It was pretty obviously broken." Tatro was taken by ambulance to a local hospital. His injuries did not appear to be life-threatening, according to Randle. A motorist who saw the incident called 911 and followed Giorgio to the rear parking lot of the Crowne Plaza Pensacola Grande Hotel. The Pensacola Police Department arrived at the parking lot moments later and took Giorgio into custody. Randle said officers found drugs in her possession, and she appeared to be impaired during her arrest. Giorgio was transferred into the custody of the Gulf Breeze Police Department to be transported to Santa Rosa County Jail. Giorgio was previously scheduled for a Jan. 20 trial on charges of possession of cocaine, possession of drug equipment and driving under the influence. She has numerous prior arrests for drug offenses, according to jail records, as well as active warrants in Escambia and Santa Rosa counties, according to Randle. By coincidence, one of the people who stopped and ran to help the downed Sgt Tatro was his teenage daughter, screaming 'My dad, that’s my dad' Sgt Tatro is sitting comfortably in hospital with a big cast from armpit to knuckles and expects to get a shorter cast in a week. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bob Re: Windows compatibility warning Good Morning Webby, I got another problem for you to solve. I don't know whether this is Microsoft trying to scare me to use their updates or whether this is a legitimate fact. I have an old SONY VGC-RB30 desktop with XP and SP3. I try to keep it updated but with Microsoft not supporting XP I tried using "Advanced System Care 8.0 PRO " "Drive Booster 2" to update. Part way through the update I get the following message: "The software you are installing has not passed Windows Logo testing to verify its compatibility with Windows XP". "Continuing your installing of this software may impair or destabilize the correct operation of your system either immediately or in the future. Microsoft strongly recommends that you stop this installation now and contact the software vendor for software that has passed Windows Logo testing." Depending upon your advice (which I always follow because I trust you) will determine whether I call the vendor or continue with the update. I plan to buy a new computer when Windows 10 becomes available as my SONY is between 5 to 10 years old. Thank you for your advice, Daily Voter, Bob Dear Bob A lot of Microsoft stuff does not have the requirements to pass the Logo standard. Skype is one example. It used to be compatible, but a couple of years after they bought it for 8 Billion dollars, they screwed it up and it is no longer Windows compatible. DUH! I would ignore that thilly fear mongering BS. If you do want to get free XP updates until 2019, read this: Free Windows XP updates until 2019 As long as you have McAfee and Malwarebytes you are safe, and don't really have to worry about XP updates. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Save Money By Baking Your Own Bread One way to save quite a bit on food is to learn your way around baking yeast. You can find a whole pound of it for about $2.50 at little shops or places that sell in bulk and you use it a tablespoon at a time - it lasts for months in the refrigerator. There are plenty of sites on the internet that will walk you through the process of making bread. The finished product will taste better than anything you can buy in the store, and will cost less than the most marked down loaf on the shelf. By Linda in the kitchen from Weirton, WV By Linda Craig ______________________________________________________ This guy found the neatest way to make his wife a more careful and defensive driver. He pointed out to her if she's ever in an accident, the paper will print her real age.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
This guy found the neatest way to make his wife a more careful and defensive driver. He pointed out to her if she's ever in an accident, the paper will print her real age. _____________________________________________________ The father watched through the window as his young daughter made a snowman with a little friend. Entertained by the sight, he went closer and heard the little neighbor boy say: "I've got an idea. To finish it off, I'll go to the kitchen and find a carrot." And his daughter replied, "Make it two. The second can be his nose."
The majestic Friesian is my favorite breed of horse.

Today in 
49 BC Julius Caesar crossed the Rubicon River signaling a 
 war between Rome and Gaul. 
1519 Holy Roman Emperor Maximilian I died. (executed)
1875 Kwang-su was made emperor of China. 
1879 The British-Zulu War began when the British invaded 
 Zululand. 
1882 Thomas Edison's central station on Holborn Viaduct 
 in London began operation. 
1908 A wireless message was sent long-distance for the first 
 time from the Eiffel Tower in Paris. 
1915 The U.S. House of Representatives rejected a proposal 
 to give women the right to vote. 
1938 Austria recognized the Franco government in Spain. 
1940 Soviet bombers raided cities in Finland. 
1943 The Office of Price Administration announced that 
 standard frankfurters/hot dogs/wieners would be replaced 
 by 'Victory Sausages.' 
1945 During World War II, Soviet forces began a huge 
 offensive against the retreating Germans in Eastern Europe.
1964 Leftist rebels in Zanzibar began their successful revolt 
 against the government and a republic was proclaimed. 
1966 U.S. President Johnson said in his State of the Union address 
 that the United States should stay in South Vietnam until 
 Communist aggression there was ended. 
1970 The breakaway state of Biafra capitulated and the 
 Nigerian civil war came to an end. 
1971 "All In the Family" debuted on CBS-TV. 
1973 Yassar Arafat was re-elected as head of the Palestinian 
 Liberation Organization. 
1991 The U.S. Congress passed a resolution authorizing President 
 Bush to use military power to force Iraq out of Kuwait. 
1995 Northern Ireland Secretary Patrick Mayhew announced that 
 as of January 16 British troops would no longer carry out 
 daylight street patrols in Belfast. 
1998 Tyson Foods Inc. pled guilty to giving $12,000 to former 
 Agriculture Secretary Mike Espy. Tyson was fined $6 million. 
1998 19 European nations agreed to prohibit human cloning. 
1998 Linda Tripp provided Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr's 
 office with taped conversations between herself and former 
 White House intern Monica Lewinsky. 
2000 The U.S. Supreme Court, in a 5-4 ruling, gave police 
 broad authority to stop and question people who run at 
 the sight of an officer. 
2005 NASA launched "Deep Impact". The spacecraft was planned 
 to impact on Comet Tempel 1 after a six-month, 268 
 million-mile journey. 
2015  smiled.


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Set default window size 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, January 11

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an 
Indiana couple, that was arrested 
for making and uploading bestiality videos
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1867 Benito Juarez returned to the Mexican presidency, 
 following the withdrawal of French troops and the execution 
 of Emperor Maximilian. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
First secure an independent income, then practice virtue. --- Greek Proverb ______________________________________________________ While handing a 25 cent-off coupon to the supermarket clerk at the checkout counter, a woman inadvertently missed her hand, and the coupon slipped beneath the scale and was gone. The checker looked distressed, so I the woman said, "That's Okay, it's in coupon heaven now." "Coupon heaven?", the checker said. "Yes", the woman said, "That's where coupons go when they die." "Only the redeemed ones go to heaven!" said the checker. ______________________________________________________ The temporary Sunday School teacher was struggling to open a combination lock on the supply cabinet. She had been told the combination, but couldn't quite remember it. Finally she went to the pastor's study and asked for help. The pastor came into the room and began to turn the dial. After the first two numbers, he paused and stared blankly for a moment. Finally, he look serenely heavenward and his lips moved silently. Then he looked back at the lock, and quickly turned to the final number, and opened the lock. The teacher was amazed, "I'm in awe at your faith, pastor." "It's really quite simple." he mumbled to himself. "The number is on a piece of tape on the ceiling." ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Nikki Colleen Murphy-Johnson, 33, and Jason Erin Johnson, 37, Anderson, Indiana Indiana couple arrested for making and uploading bestiality videos A couple in Anderson, Indiana, have been charged with bestiality after a video surfaced allegedly showing a woman having sex with their pit bull. Nikki Colleen Murphy-Johnson, 33, and Jason Erin Johnson, 37, were each charged with three counts of bestiality in connection with a video and photos produced this past June and July, Fox59.com reports. A detective in Fairfax County, Virginia, discovered the footage on Beastforum, a bestiality-oriented website and alerted Indiana authorities in Anderson, according to the Daily Mail. Anderson police said the couple admitted to making and posting the video during questioning, WTHR.com reports. The pit bull used in the video -- whose name is "Lucky" -- has been taken from the couple, according to the Indianapolis Star. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Daniel Re: Pre-set window size How do set a screen size so it stays full screen every time you open it? daniel Dear Daniel Most people want the opposite, but if that is what you want, try this: Click the middle button at the right top, then drag the edge of the window to the size you want to be the default, then close the window and/or program. Next time you open it, it will open at the size you set. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Homemade Taco Seasoning I love cooking with taco seasoning! I do NOT love paying an arm and a leg for each tiny little envelope. In one of my cookbooks, I found a recipe for homemade taco seasoning. The first thing I thought when I tasted it was, "Where have you been all my life?" Not only does it taste better than pre-packaged, it is super quick, easy and cheap! It is also better for you, as it does not have preservatives in it. I figure each serving costs me around 35 cents. Compared to about $1.50 a serving that I usually pay, I'm doing a happy dance.:) Try it, you won't be disappointed! This would make a nice gift in a jar tied with pretty ribbon as well. Approximate Time: About 5 minutes Yield: About 6-- 1/4 cup servings Ingredients: 1/2 cup dried minced onion 1/4 cup sweet paprika 1/4 cup cornstarch 3 Tbsp chili powder 2 Tbsp salt 2 Tbsp garlic powder 1 Tbsp ground cumin 1 Tbsp dried oregano 1 tsp cayenne pepper (optional) *I buy generic spices at Walmart and Aldi's. This will keep your cost very low. Steps: Combine all ingredients in a bowl. Stir with a whisk to blend well. Store in an airtight container. Use 1/4 cup for any recipe that calls for an envelope of taco seasoning. A jar of homemade taco seasoning Enjoy! Source: "Family Feasts for $75 a Week", Mary Ostyn By melissa [59] ______________________________________________________ The man told his doctor he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what's wrong with me." "Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "You're just a plain lazy old fart." "Thank You." said the man. "Now give me the medical term, so I can tell my wife!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
The teacher asked little Johnny, "Can you name four shooting stars?" Little Johnny said, "I sure can. Wyatt Earp, Annie Oakley, Buffalo Bill, and John Wayne." ______________________________________________________ Little asked dad where they came from. Dad squirmed a bit, but thought it was time for the facts of life. So, Dad told of how the expression of love resulted in the beginning of life, how life developed and finally how a child was born. As Dad told the story, 's eyes got wider and wider. When Dad was finished, said, "Wow, that's really neat. That sure beats what Billy told me. He said that he came from Chicago."
Some amazing photos! Being a llama lover I especially like the “Admiring Machu Picchu with a Friend”

Today in 
1569 England's first state lottery was held. 
1770 The first shipment of rhubarb was sent to the United S
 tates from London. 
1815 U.S. General Andrew Jackson achieved victory at the 
 Battle of New Orleans. The War of 1812 had officially ended 
 on December 24, 1814, with the signing of the Treaty of 
 Ghent. The news of the signing had not reached British 
 troops in time to prevent their attack on New Orleans. 
1861 Alabama seceded from the United States. 
1867 Benito Juarez returned to the Mexican presidency, 
 following the withdrawal of French troops and the execution 
 of Emperor Maximilian. 
1878 In New York, milk was delivered in glass bottles for 
 the first time by Alexander Campbell. 
1902 "Popular Mechanics" magazine was published for the 
 first time. 
1913 The first sedan-type car was unveiled at the National 
 Automobile Show in New York City. The car was manufactured 
 by the Hudson Motor Company. 
1922 At Toronto General Hospital, Leonard Thompson became 
 the first person to be successfully treated with insulin. 
1935 Amelia Earhart Putnam became the first woman to fly 
 solo from Hawaii to California. 
1942 Japan declared war against the Netherlands. The same 
 day, Japanese forces invaded the Dutch East Indies. 
1943 The United States and Britain signed treaties 
 relinquishing extraterritorial rights in China. 
1964 U.S. Surgeon General Luther Terry released a report 
 that said that smoking cigarettes was a definite health 
 hazard. 
1977 France released Abu Daoud, a Palestinian suspected 
 of involvement in the massacre of Israeli athletes at 
 the 1972 Munich Olympics. 
1978 Two Soviet cosmonauts aboard the Soyuz 27 capsule 
 linked up with the Salyut 6 orbiting space station, where 
 the Soyuz 26 capsule was already docked. 
2001 The Texas Board of Criminal Justice released a review 
 of the escape of the "Texas 7." It stated that prison staff 
 missed critical opportunities to prevent the escape by 
 ignoring a fire alarm, not reporting unsupervised inmates 
 and not demanding proper identification from inmates. 
2002 Thomas Junta, 44, was convicted of involuntary 
 manslaughter for beating another man to death at their 
 son's hockey practice. The incident occurred on July 5, 2000.
2015  smiled.


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Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, January 10

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a 
man in Floriduh for throwing his 5 year old daughter
off a bridge in full view of police
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
2000 It was announced that Time-Warner had agreed to buy 
 America On-line (AOL). It was the largest-ever 
 corporate merger priced at $162 billion.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings. --- Ed Gardner Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned. --- Milton Friedman (1912 - 2006) ______________________________________________________ "Remember, the first five minutes of a human being's life are the most dangerous." Underneath, a nurse had written: "The last five are pretty risky, too." ______________________________________________________ Nancy was studying to be a counselor always went into her counseling sessions with an ear muff over one ear. After a while the supervisor became very curious and asked her about it. She replied, "It's for confidentiality." "Confidentiality?" asked the bewildered supervisor. "Yes, confidentiality," Nancy explained, "I've been told what goes in one of my ears comes out the other, and I don't want anyone else knowing what my client says." ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to John Jonchuck Jr. 25 St. Petersburg Floriduh Girl, 5, dies after being thrown from bridge; father arrested God will not likely be representing John Jonchuck Jr., a judge told the 25-year-old father when he appeared in court Thursday on a charge that he killed his 5-year-old daughter by throwing her off of a St. Petersburg, Florida, bridge. During the video hearing, Pinellas-Pasco Circuit Judge Michael Andrews asked the handcuffed Jonchuk if he was able to hire his own lawyer. "No," Jonchuk replied. Would he like one appointed? Again, the reply was, "No." "Are you sure?" Andrews pressed. "I want to leave it in the hands of God," Jonchuk said. Asked if that meant he wanted to represent himself, Jonchuk repeated his answer, to which the judge said, "Pretty sure God's not going to be representing you in this case. You're going to be standing trial. Would you like someone standing next to you as you're standing trial?" "Yes, that is pure and good, not evil," the defendant said. "I'm going to do the best I can to give you a pure and good lawyer," Andrews said. "I don't want a court-appointed lawyer," Jonchuk said, seeming slightly perturbed. "I want to leave it in the hands of God." Andrews instructed an officer to bring Jonchuk back to his courtroom Monday "to see if he wants an attorney." Though he ordered Jonchuk held on bonds of $10,000 each for charges of aggravated assault on a law enforcement officer and aggravated fleeing and eluding, Andrews ruled there would be no bond on the first-degree murder charge. Jonchuk was arrested Thursday after a St. Petersburg police officer was driving home just after midnight and saw a car whiz past him, driving about 100 mph, authorities said. According to the arrest affidavit, Jonchuk parked on the Dick Misener Bridge, exited, ignored the officer's command to stay in the vehicle and reached into the right rear passenger seat where his daughter, Phoebe, was sitting. Jonchuk "then carried the child in his arms to the side of the bridge and intentionally dropped the child into the water. Then he entered his vehicle and fled the scene," the affidavit said. The officer heard a splash and tried to climb beneath the bridge to save the girl, but the current was too strong, St. Petersburg police spokeswoman Yolanda Fernandez told CNN affiliate WFLA. It's about a 62-foot drop to the water from that point on the bridge. Another officer tried to pull over Jonchuk's white Chrysler PT Cruiser on Interstate 275, but the defendant allegedly "conducted a U-turn and drove directly at a backup officer's vehicle, in which case the officer had to take evasive action to avoid a crash," another arrest affidavit said. Several law enforcement agencies joined the chase, including marked patrol cars with their emergency lights and sirens activated, for several miles. Jonchuk eventually stopped his vehicle in the middle of the interstate and was taken into custody, according to the affidavit. The body of the girl was later recovered. Jonchuck is being held at the Pinellas County Jail. Police have not disclosed a motive. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Doris Re: Print preview, page setting in Chrome Dear Webby I like Chrome, but when it comes to printing, it is brain-dead. There is no easily findable page setting for printing or print preview. Do I have to crank up FireFox each time I want to print something in other than stnadard zoom or change color to mono? Thanks Doris Dear Doris CTRL P is for printing "As Is". CTRL SHIFT P is for getting into the printer preferences like zoom, mono, etc. Keep in mind, some printers will keep those preferences. If you set the zoom for 70% for printing a batch of invoices, it will continue printing at 70% until you change that. Some printers, like for example Brother printers, will revert to default on the next print job, and you have to select the alternate profile again. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Luggage Tote as Grocery Bag I wish I could take the credit for this. I saw this in the Aldi's Food Store. A customer used an large luggage tote with wheels to transport his groceries. Since he lived alone he only brought enough to fit inside. I told him it was genius. I ask could I share his tip. He said OK. He wouldn't share his name. Source: A gentleman I met at the store By Georgetta Ruth [57] I have seen some seniors use baby carriages with big 12 inch pneumatic wheels, with a big climber's expedition packsack mounted on them. They had no problem getting around and met smiles and jokes everywhere. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ A man had a ticket for the theater but when he was seated by the usher, he found that he was too far from the stage. He whispered to the usher, "This is a mystery play, and I have to watch a mystery close up. Get me a better seat, and I'll give you a handsome tip." The usher moves him into the second row, and the man hands the usher a quarter. The usher looks at the quarter, frowns at him, then leans over and whispers, "The wife did it".
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
John had been playing golf for years, and he had the finest equipment, but his technique never improved a bit. As his friend watched, he teed up at the first hole and promptly drove a brand-new ball into the woods. On the second hole, he drove another new ball into a lake. On the third, he lost a new ball in another part of the woods. "Why don't you use an old ball?" his friend asked. "I've never had an old ball," he said. ______________________________________________________ A Chinese couple while working in a Chinese restaurant, fall in love and get married - and she's a virgin. On the wedding night, she cowers naked under the bed sheets as her husband undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries to be reassuring: "My darling, I know dis you firs time and you bery frighten. I promise you, I give you anyting you wann, I do anyting you wann.... What you wann?" "I wann have numma 69" she replies. He looks at her very puzzled and says, "You wann .. Beef Bloccoli Tsow Mein?"
Stunning 2200-Year-Old Mosaics Discovered in Ancient Greek City. This ancient art is amazing, especially after being under water for centuries.

Today in 
1840 The penny post, whereby mail was delivered at a 
 standard charge rather than paid for by the recipient, 
 began in Britain. 
1861 Florida seceded from the United States. 
1863 Prime Minister Gladstone opened the first section of 
 the London Underground Railway system. 
1870 John D. Rockefeller incorporated Standard Oil. 
1901 Oil was discovered at the Spindletop oil field near 
 Beaumont, TX. 
1911 Major Jimmie Erickson took the first photograph from 
 an airplane while flying over San Diego, CA. 
1928 The Soviet Union ordered the exile of Leon Trotsky. 
1951 Donald Howard Rogers piloted the first passenger jet 
 on a trip from Chicago to New York City. 
1978 The Soviet Union launched two cosmonauts aboard a 
 Soyuz capsule for a redezvous with the Salyut VI space 
 laboratory. 
1984 The United States and the Vatican established full 
 diplomatic relations for the first time in more than 
 a century. 
1990 Chinese Premier Li Peng ended martial law in Beijing 
 after seven months. He said that crushing pro-democracy 
 protests had saved China from "the abyss of misery." 
1990 Time Inc. and Warner Communications Inc. completed a 
 $14 billion merger. 
1994 In Manassas, VA, Lorena Bobbitt went on trial. She 
 had been charged with maliciously wounding her husband 
 John. She was acquitted by reason of temporary insanity. 
1997 Shelby Lynne Barrackman was strangled to death by her 
 grand-father when she licked the icing off of cupcakes. 
 He was convicted of the crime on September 15, 1998. 
2000 It was announced that Time-Warner had agreed to buy 
 America On-line (AOL). It was the largest-ever 
 corporate merger priced at $162 billion.
2001 American Airlines agreed to acquire most of Trans 
 World Airlines (TWA) assets for about $500 million. The 
 deal brought an end to the financially troubled TWA. 
2002 In France, the "Official Journal" reported that all 
 women could get the morning-after contraception pill 
 for free in pharmacies. 
2003 North Korea announced that it was withdrawing from 
 the global nuclear arms control treaty and that it had 
 no plans to develop nuclear weapons. 
2007 The iTunes Music Store reached 1.3 million feature 
 length films sold and 50 million television episodes sold.
2015  smiled.


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Print preview, page setting in Chrome 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, January 9
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Thank you, Ron!

Ezinefinder still has not been switched to 2015. 
It is still stuck in 2014. Not enough nagging yet.
You can try writing to
lewis@cumuli.com
support@cumuli.com
and try the email forms at 
http://www.ezinefinder.com/contact.html
http://www2.thriftyfun.com/about/contact.lasso

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a 
man in Floriduh advertising his criminal activity
on his T-shirt
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1902 New York State introduced a bill to outlaw flirting in public.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The important thing is not to stop questioning. --- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up. --- James Magary Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? ______________________________________________________ A well respected surgeon was relaxing on his sofa one evening just after arriving home from work. As he was tuning into the evening news, the phone rang. The doctor calmly answered it and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line. "We need a fourth for poker," said the friend. "I'll be right over," whispered the doctor. As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, "Is it serious?" "Oh yes, quite serious," said the doctor gravely. "In fact, three doctors are there already!" ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to John Balmer 50 Hudson Floriduh 'I Have Drugs' T-Shirt Worn By Marijuana And Methamphetamine carrier The words written across John Balmer's chest really fit him to a tee. The 50-year-old was wearing a shirt that read, "Who Needs Drugs?" in big letters, with "Seriously, I Have Drugs" in smaller letters underneath when cops allegedly found him with a bag containing drugs in a Kmart in Hudson, Florida, according to TampaBay.com. The ironic arrest occurred after a Pasco County Sheriff's deputy allegedly saw Balmer attempt to pass a plastic bag containing pot and meth to another customer on the checkout line, TBO.com reports. When that person didn't take the bag, police said Balmer walked to another register where he allegedly placed the drug-filled baggie on the ground. Balmer returned to pay for his items, but store employees informed officers about the bag. The officers picked up the bag and discovered the drugs, according to MyFoxChicago.com Balmer was arrested on one count of possession of methamphetamine and one count of possession of marijuana, WFLA.com reports. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Doris Re: Print preview, page setting in Chrome Dear Webby I like Chrome, but when it comes to printing, it is brain-dead. There is no easily findable page setting for printing or print preview. Do I have to crank up FireFox each time I want to print something in other than stnadard zoom or change color to mono? Thanks Doris Dear Doris CTRL P is for printing "As Is". CTRL SHIFT P is for getting into the printer preferences like zoom, mono, etc. Keep in mind, some printers will keep those preferences. If you set the zoom for 70% for printing a batch of invoices, it will continue printing at 70% until you change that. Some printers, like for example Brother printers, will revert to default on the next print job, and you have to select the alternate profile again. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cleaning Paint/Artist's Brushes As an artist I sometimes forget to rinse my brushes out well. By the time I get back to it it is completely stiff and dried with paint. The way I rescue these brushes is to fill an old plastic cup with enough Murphy's oil soap to cover the bristles and let it sit overnight. In the morning rinse well with cold water (hot water breaks down brushes faster). I do this every 6 months to all of my brushes whether they need it or not because it makes them feel like they are brand new. By Rachel Guillotte [1] ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Martin for this story: Two men are out ice fishing at their favourite fishing hole, just fishing quietly and drinking beer. Almost silently, so as not to scare the fish, Rick says, "I think I'm going to divorce my wife - she hasn't spoken to me in over 2 months." Dave continues slowly sipping his beer, then thoughtfully says, "You better think it over - women like that are hard to find."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
On the way hom as I was sitting in the Phoenix airport, they announced that the flight was full. The airline was looking for volunteers to give up their seats. In exchange, they'd give you a $100 voucher for your next flight and a first class seat in the plane leaving an hour later. About eight people ran up to the counter to take advantage of the offer. About 15 seconds later all eight of those people sat down grumpily as the lady behind the ticket counter said, "If there is anyone else OTHER than the flight crew who'd like to volunteer, please step forward!" ______________________________________________________ One night, a lady stumbled into the police station with a black eye. She claimed she heard a noise in her back yard and went to investigate. The next thing she knew, she was hit in the eye and knocked out cold. An officer was sent to her house to investigate, and he returned 1-1/2 hours later with a black eye. "Did you get hit by the same person?" his captain asked. "No," he replied. "I stepped on the same rake."
The 2015 Harbin Ice and Snow Festival. There are some truly imaginative and talented people to sculpt all this beauty out of ice and snow every year. I’m in awe of what all this talent has done.

Today in 
1793 Jean-Pierre Blanchard made the first successful balloon 
 flight in the U.S. 
1799 British Prime Minister William Pitt the Younger introduced 
 income tax, at two shillings (10p) in the pound, to raise 
 funds for the Napoleonic Wars. 
1894 The New England Telephone and Telegraph Company put the 
 first battery-operated switchboard into operation in 
 Lexington, MA. 
1902 New York State introduced a bill to outlaw flirting in public. 
1905 In Russia, the civil disturbances known as the Revolution 
 of 1905 forced Czar Nicholas II to grant some civil rights. 
1929 The Seeing Eye was incorporated in Nashville, TN. The 
 company's purpose was to train dogs to guide the blind. 
1936 The United States Army adopted the semi-automatic rifle. 
1940 Television was used for the first time to present a 
 sales meeting to convention delegates in New York City. 
1969 The supersonic aeroplane Concorde made its first trial 
 flight, at Bristol. 
1972 The ocean liner Queen Elizabeth was destroyed by fire 
 in Hong Kong harbor. 
1972 British miners went on strike for the first time since 1926. 
1986 Kodak got out of the instant camera business after 10 years 
 due to a loss in a court battle that claimed that Kodak 
 copied Polaroid patents. 
1995 Russian cosmonaut Valeri Poliakov, 51, completed his 
 366th day in outer space aboard the Mir space station, 
 breaking the record for the longest continuous time spent 
 in outer space. 
2002 Yasmine Bleeth was sentenced to two years of probation, 
 regular drug tests, 100 hours of community service and pay 
 the court costs in connection to a cocaine-possession charge. 
2002 The U.S. Justice Department announced that it was 
 pursuing a criminal investigation of Enron Corp. The company 
 had filed for bankruptcy on December 2, 2001. 
2003 Archaeologists announced that they had found five more 
 chambers in the tomb of Qin Shihuang, China's first emperor. 
 The rooms were believed to cover about 750,000 square feet. 
2015  smiled.


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Registry problem alerts 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, January 8

Ezinefinder still has not been switched to 2015. 
It is still stuck in 2014
The Humor Letter got 15840 votes in 2014,
and my friend Ophelia got 4214 in 2014.

I am continuously amazed that Ophelia can't seem to
increase her subscriber numbers. Sure, she is a bit 
raunchy, but so are Playboy or Playgirl. It's a mystery.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a 
Florida dad, who took his 5 month old baby along to 
a burglary
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1610 Galileo Galilei sighted four of Jupiter's moons. He 
 named them Io, Europa, Ganymede, and Callisto. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Some have been thought brave because they were afraid to run away. --- Thomas Fuller (1608 - 1661) Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. --- George Carlin (1937 - 2008) ______________________________________________________ Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turned to an attendant standing nearby. "This," she said, "I suppose, is one of those hideous representations you call modern art?" "No, Madam," replied the attendant. "That one's called a mirror." ______________________________________________________ The preacher was having a heart-to-heart talk with a backslider of his flock, whose drinking of moonshine invariably led to quarrelling with his neighbours, and occasional shotgun blasts at some of them. "Can't you see, Ben," intoned the parson, "that not one good thing comes out of this drinking?" "Well, I sort of disagree there," replied the backslider. "It makes me miss the folks I shoot at." ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture That is carved from ice!
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Corey Mathews, 22 607 7th Street North St. Petersburg Florida Florida Man, Accused Of Toting Baby To Home Burglary TAMPA, Fla. (Reuters) - A Florida man is accused of bringing his 5-month-old son to a home burglary attempt, during which he set the baby down so that he could pull a knife on the homeowner, police said on Tuesday. Corey Mathews, 22, was arrested on charges including aggregated assault and child neglect for his role in the attempted burglary on Monday evening, according to the St. Petersburg Police Department. Police said Mathews held his baby in a carseat as he acted as the lookout for another man trying to break into a home. Mathews yelled upon seeing the homeowner, and the other suspect fled. The homeowner followed Mathews down an alley, where he put the baby on the ground and threatened the owner with a knife, police said in a statement. Mathews was still carrying the infant when police later apprehended him, the statement said. Police say they found the knife he threatened the homeowner with on his person. Corey Mathews is now charged with residential burglary, aggravated assault, child neglect and violation of probation. The child is now in the custody of Mathew's mother, police said. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Hank Re: Registry problem alerts Dear Webby Thanks for all your help in the past and your Daily Humor Letter. I have "Smart PC Fixer" for my registry problems. I will run the Fixer, which states that my PC is at 100. Then some other "warning" will appear than my PC has a sever registry problem. I let them scan my PC and they give the results that I have problems. Is this just a scan or a scam? Thanks. hank Dear Hank That seems to be a scam. Try to find out which program is generating the fake alerts. Quite possibly your machine is infected with a hijacker. You might need Malwarebytes to get rid of that. Avast doesn't protect you against stuff like that. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Dry Laundry Soap for Twenty Dollars a Year Homemade Laundry Deteregent using Borax and baking soda. Buy these ingredients at the dollar store. You will only need 2 tablespoons per load of laundry. Materials 3 bars of Fels Naptha soap 1 box of borax 1 box of washing soda 2 cups of baking soda 2 containers of Oxiclean Instructions First grate your soap, then mix all ingredients together. I used two garbage bags doubled up. Tie well and shake all your ingredients around a few times. Put into a container with a lid. You can add 1-2 containers of fabric softener crystals into the mix for a nice smell. By coville123 from Brockville, Ontario
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
Husband: I know you are having a lot of trouble with the baby, Dear, but keep in mind, "the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world." Wife: How about taking over the world for a few hours while I go shopping ? ______________________________________________________ Two Yuppettes were shopping. When they started to discuss their home lives, one said, "Seems like all Alfred and I do anymore is fight. I've been so upset, I've lost 20 pounds." "Why don't you just leave him then?" asked her friend. "Oh! Not yet." the first replied, "I'd like to lose at least another fifteen pounds first."
24 exceptional ice sculptures.
I love the horses
coming out of the snow, what a fantasy world!

Today in 
1815 The Battle of New Orleans began. The War of 1812 had 
 officially ended on December 24, 1814, with the signing 
 of the Treaty of Ghent. The news of the signing had not 
 reached British troops in time to prevent their attack 
 on New Orleans. 
1838 Alfred Vail demonstrated a telegraph code he had 
 devised using dots and dashes as letters. The code 
 was the predecessor to Samuel Morse's code. 
1856 Borax (hydrated sodium borate) was discovered by 
 Dr. John Veatch. 
1877 Crazy Horse (Tashunca-uitco) and his warriors fought 
 their final battle against the U.S. Cavalry in Montana. 
1886 The Severn Railway Tunnel, Britain's longest, was opened. 
1889 The tabulating machine was patented by Dr. Herman 
 Hollerith. His firm, Tabulating Machine Company, later 
 became International Business Machines Corporation (IBM). 
1900 U.S. President McKinley placed Alaska under 
 military rule. 
1908 A catastrophic train collision occurred in the smoke-
 filled Park Avenue Tunnel in New York City. Seventeen 
 were killed and thirty-eight were injured. The accident 
 caused a public outcry and increased demand for electric trains. 
1935 The spectrophotometer was patented by A.C. Hardy. 
1973 Secret peace talks between the United States and North 
 Vietnam resumed near Paris, France. 
1973 The trial opened in Washington, of seven men accused of 
 bugging Democratic Party headquarters in the Watergate 
 apartment complex in Washington, DC. 
1982 American Telephone & Telegraph (AT&T) settled the Justice 
 Department's antitrust lawsuit against it by agreeing to divest 
 itself of the 22 Bell System companies. 
1982 The U.S. Justice Department withdrew an antitrust suit 
 against IBM. 
1992 U.S. President George H.W. Bush collapsed during a state 
 dinner in Tokyo. White House officials said Bush was 
 suffering from stomach flu. 
1994 Tonya Harding won the ladies' U.S. Figure Skating 
 Championship in Detroit, MI, a day after Nancy Kerrigan 
 dropped out because of a clubbing attack that injured her 
 right knee. The U.S. Figure Skating Association later 
 took the title from Harding because of her involvement 
 in the attack. 
1998 Ramzi Yousef was sentenced to life in prison for his role 
 of mastermind behind the World Trade Center bombing in New York. 
1998 Scientists announced that they had discovered that galaxies 
 were accelerating and moving apart and at faster speeds. 
1999 The top two executives of Salt Lake City's Olympic 
 Organizing Committee resigned amid disclosures that civic 
 boosters had given cash to members of the International 
 Olympic Committee. 
2009 In Egypt, archeologists entered a 4,300 year old pyramid 
 and discovered the mummy of Queen Sesheshet. 
2015  smiled.


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Music on Internet postcards 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, January 7

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to two
US Ski team members, who suicided on the 
day before the opening World Cup race
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1610 Galileo Galilei sighted four of Jupiter's moons. He 
 named them Io, Europa, Ganymede, and Callisto. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip. --- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935) ______________________________________________________ A young and foolish hot-shot pilot wanted to sound cool and show who was boss on the aviation radio frequencies. So, this was his first time approaching an airfield during the nighttime. Instead of making any official landing requests to the tower, he said: ....."Guess who?" The tower controller switched the field lights off and replied: "Guess where...!" ______________________________________________________ I bet it was really tough being an Apostle of Jesus. What if you wanted a day off? You ring up Jesus and say, "Jesus, I'm sick today, running a little fever and feeling congested so I won't be able to make it to today's sermon. What...? Say that again..?" I'm cured?" ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture Solden, Tirol The avalanche, that those guys set off, is a third in from the left. There are 160 KM (100 miles) of groomed, safe ski runs in that picture. http://www.soelden.com/ski-area-map When clicking on the life panorama cameras, keep in mind the time difference. The panrorama cameras are high resolution color.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and a DARWIN AWARD goes to Ronnie Berlack, 20, Bryce Astle, 19, US Ski team members suicide day before 2015 Alpine Skiing World Cup Opening race Two American skiers suicided in an avalanche, that they set off in the Austrian Alps near their training base. Ronnie Berlack, 20, and Bryce Astle, 19, were junior members of the US team. They were part of a group of six who were descending from a mountain near the Rettenbach glacier, the venue for the races that will open the 2015 Alpine Skiing World Cup. Officials in Tyrol say avalanche alerts had been declared following days of heavy snowfall and mild temperatures, and all unsafe slopes were fenced off. Those suiciders climbed over the fencing onto an the avalance ready slope, and skied down in the SLOW and deep snow until they set off an avalanche. There are 160 KM (100 miles) of groomed, safe ski runs right there, which are all tens of times faster than unprepared deep snow. They triggered an avalanche on the 3,000m (10,000 feet) Gaislachkogel mountain near Solden, and were buried under the snow of the avalanche, that they had set off. The four other skiers with Mr Berlack and Mr Astle were dug out in time by rescue teams and were not hurt. Usually there are follow-up avalanches making rescues extremely dangerous, but none of the rescue team members were killed or hurt. The president of the US Ski and Snowboard Association Tiger Shaw said, the two victims were "outstanding ski racers who were passionate about their sport". Messing with an avalanche in deep snow has absolutely nothing to do with the type of skiing used on hard packed and precision groomed racing runs. There are plenty of groomed and hard packed fast runs there, that are perfectly safe. That is why their training base is there. Well, the boneheads were not able to outrace the avalanche, that THEY had set off. So they are in caskets getting shipped home instead of participating in today's Opening Race of the 2015 Alpine Skiing World Cup. It is fortunate, that no rescuers were killed or hurt because of their suicides. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jeff Re: Music on Internet Postcards Dear Webby Hi -- sort of 'something else.' I have music as part of my ecards site here: http://www.pulpcards.com/e-pcs/epcindex.html and a visitor wrote recently that he "... can’t get music on my Mac mini can you help?" I've never had a Mac Mini Q. before and don't have one. Any suggestions? Or is it perhaps you only support Windows-based machines? Thanks for any feedback I can pass along to the visitor. Best regards, Jeff Dear Jeff It makes no diff whether the user uses UNIX or Linux or Windows or Mac or a tablet or a phone. His problem is HIS choice of browsers. Some browsers play .mid files like they always have, and some browsers have chickened out, claiming copyright issues as an excuse, and require the user to download and install an add-in, extension or player. Mac users probably need to install the Apple QuickTime player, if they use the Mac Safari browser, or switch to a browser, that will work on a Mini Mac and will play midi files. We only send the midi files. The user needs to have some kind of player. We might switch over to .wav files, if there is enough demand or if I get some spare time. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Christmas Clearance for Easter With the stores trying to rid themselves of Christmas inventory (Target is now 70% off!), you can score some pretty amazing deals that aren't just bound by a December holiday. Small toys are perfect for Easter baskets, and red and white themed chocolates are perfect for Valentine's Day! The haul below retailed for over $20 and will fit nicely in my toddler's Easter basket for only $6. Now if only I can find a place to store it. By Rae G. [7]
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
>From Arby When my daughter was about 10 years old I became pregnant. Of course, she wwanted to know how it happened,so I gave what I considered an appropriate explanation of the process. She asked, "Did you do that to get me?" I said yes, and she responded, "And you did it again?" ______________________________________________________ >From Curtis While I was serving as a chief master sergeant at Barksdale Air Force Base in Bossier City, La., my son and namesake was also serving there. His two-month-old son, whose name was the same as ours, was receiving medical treatments at the base hospital. I went on sick call one morning, and as the doctor reviewed my file, he looked at me in disbelief. "Are you Curtis E. Chaffin?" he asked. When I answered yes, he told me, "It says here that you turn blue when you cry."


Handimals, painted hands

Today in 
1558 Calais, the last English possession on mainland France, 
 was recaptured by the French. 
1610 Galileo Galilei sighted four of Jupiter's moons. He 
 named them Io, Europa, Ganymede, and Callisto. 
1785 French aeronaut/balloonist Jean-Pierre Blanchard 
 successfully made the first air-crossing of the English 
 Channel from the English coast to France. 
1887 Thomas Stevens completed the first worldwide bicycle 
 trip. He started his trip in April 1884. Stevens and his 
 bike traveled 13,500 miles in almost three years time. 
1894 W.K. Dickson received a patent for motion picture film. 
1896 The "Fannie Farmer Cookbook" was published. 
1904 The distress signal "CQD" was established. Two years 
 later "SOS" became the radio distress signal because it 
 was quicker to send by wireless radio. 
1927 Transatlantic telephone service began between New York 
 and London. 31 calls were made on this first day. 
1932 Chancellor Heinrich Brüning declared that Germany 
 cannot, and will not, resume reparations payments. 
1942 The World War II siege of Bataan began. 
1949 The announcement of the first photograph of genes was 
 shown at the University of Southern California in Los Angeles. 
1953 U.S. President Harry Truman announced the development of 
 the hydrogen bomb. 
1954 The Duoscopic TV receiver was unveiled this day. The TV 
 set allowed the watching of two different shows at the 
 same time. 
1959 The United States recognized Fidel Castro's new 
 government in Cuba. 
1975 OPEC agreed to raise crude oil prices by 10%, which 
 began a time of world economic inflation. 
1979 Vietnamese forces captured the Cambodian capital of 
 Phnom Penh, overthrowing the Khmer Rouge government. 
1980 U.S. President Jimmy Carter signed legislation that 
 authorized $1.5 billion in loans for the bail out of 
 Chrysler Corp. 
1989 Crown Prince Akihito became the emperor of Japan 
 following the death of his father, Emperor Hirohito. 
1990 The Leaning Tower of Pisa was closed to the public. 
 The accelerated rate of "leaning" raised fears for the 
 safety of its visitors.
1996 One of the biggest blizzards in U.S. history hit the 
 eastern states. More than 100 deaths were later blamed 
 on the severe weather. 
1998 Former White House intern Monica Lewinsky signed an 
 affidavit denying that she had an affair with U.S. 
 President Clinton. 
1999 U.S. President Clinton went on trial before the 
 Senate. It was only the second time in U.S. history that 
 an impeached president had gone to trial. Clinton was later 
 acquitted of perjury and obstruction of justice charges. 
2002 Microsoft Corp. chairman Bill Gates introduced a new 
 device code named Mira. The device was tablet-like and was 
 a cross between a handheld computer and a TV remote control. 
2009 Russia shut off all gas supplies to Europe through 
 Ukraine. Prime Minister Vladimir Putin publicly endorsed the 
 move and urged greater international involvement in the 
 energy dispute. 
2015  smiled.


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Back up your ID 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, January 6

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
wimp in Connecticut, who threatens town to 
'be ready for a hail of bullets'
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1945 The Battle of the Bulge ended with 130,000 German and 
 77,000 Allied casualties. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The Romans would never have found time to conquer the world if they had been obliged first to learn Latin. --- Heinrich Heine (1797 - 1856) A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election. --- Bill Vaughan "There is only one thing a philosopher can be relied upon to do, and that is to contradict other philosophers." --- William James ______________________________________________________ >From Roland I saw an old friend of mine and came up to speak with him. He smiled and went the other way. "I'm sorry but I've got to go online" he called to me, running next door. I looked in the next room for his computer or cell phone but did not see one. Instead, I saw him put in his hearing aids and look at me again, "You were saying?" ______________________________________________________ John came from San Francisco to Depoe Bay and asked a native, "Say, is this really a healthy place?" "It sure is," the native replied. "When I came here I couldn't say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didn't have the strength to walk across a room, and I had to be lifted out of bed." "That's wonderful!" said John. "How long have you been here?" "I was born here." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Sailor for this picture: Click through for the big picture
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Tyler McKenzie 18 EAST LYME, Connecticut Tyler McKenzie Threatens Connecticut Town To 'Be Ready For A Hail Of Bullets' An 18-year-old man was arrested after allegedly threatening that a Connecticut town "better be ready for the hail of bullets" because he had been bullied for so long. The threat by Tyler McKenzie prompted the East Lyme school district to cancel sporting events and plan for additional security measures when classes resume Monday, police said. McKenzie was arrested Wednesday and charged with first-degree threatening and second-degree breach of peace. The arrest came about a week after the threatening comment was posted on YikYak, a social media website. State, local police and the FBI searched McKenzie's home in East Lyme and recovered evidence, authorities said. Investigators say McKenzie admitted he wrote the threatening post. They say he acted alone, and they don't anticipate additional arrests. McKenzie was held on a $25,000 bond and is scheduled to appear in New London Superior Court on Friday. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jean Re: Back up your ID Dear Webby 1. Do not sign the back of your credit cards. Instead, put 'PHOTO ID REQUIRED.' 2. When you are writing checks to pay on your credit card accounts, DO NOT put the complete account number on the 'For' line. Instead, just put the last four numbers. The credit card company knows the rest of the number, and anyone who might be handling your check as it passes through all the check processing channels won't have access to it. 3. Put your work phone # on your checks instead of your home phone. If you have a PO Box use that instead of your home address. If you do not have a PO Box, use your work address. Never have your SS# printed on your checks. (DUH!) You can add it if it is necessary. But if you have It printed, anyone can get it. 4. Place the contents of your wallet on a photocopy machine. Do both sides of each license, credit card, etc. You will know what you had in your wallet and all of the account numbers and phone numbers to call and cancel. Keep the photocopy in a safe place. I also carry a photocopy of my passport when I travel either here or abroad. We've all heard horror stories about fraud that's committed on us in stealing a Name, address, Social Security number, credit cards. In case your luggage is lost, take another list in your carry on bag, especially if you are abroad and need immediate access to those numbers. Unfortunately, I, an attorney, have firsthand knowledge because my wallet was stolen last month. Within a week, the thieves ordered an expensive monthly cell phone package, applied for a VISA credit card, had a credit line approved to buy a Gateway computer, received a PIN number from DMV to change my driving record information online, and more. But here's some critical information to limit the damage in case this happens to you or someone you know: 5. We have been told we should cancel our credit cards immediately. But the key is having the toll free numbers and your card numbers handy so you know whom to call.. Keep those where you can find them. 6. File a police report immediately in the jurisdiction where your credit cards, etc.., were stolen. This proves to credit providers you were diligent, and this is a first step toward an investigation (if there ever is one). But here's what is perhaps most important of all: (I never even thought to do this.) 7. Call the 3 national credit reporting organizations immediately to place a fraud alert on your name and also call the Social Security fraud line number. I had never heard of doing that until advised by a bank that called to tell me an application for credit was made over the Internet in my name. The alert means any company that checks your credit knows your information was stolen, and they have to contact you by phone to authorize new credit. By the time I was advised to do this, almost two weeks after the theft, all the damage had been done. There are records of all the credit checks initiated by the thieves' purchases, none of which I knew about before placing the alert. Since then, no additional damage has been done, and the thieves threw my wallet away this weekend (someone turned it in). It seems to have stopped them dead in their tracks.. Now, here are the numbers you always need to contact about your wallet, if it has been stolen: 1.) Equifax: 1-800-525-6285 1-800-525-6285 2.) Experian (formerly TRW): 1-888-397-3742 1-888-397-3742 3.) Trans Union : 1-800-680 7289 1-800-680 7289 4.) Social Security Administration (fraud line): 1-800-269-0271 1-800-269-0271 Jean Dear Jean That is valuable information indeed! Let's hope a lot of the subscribers will heed your advice. I will! Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Homemade Play Dough My kids love this play dough. I have made just about every kind you can imagine, but we always go back to this one. I've been making it so long (over 10 years!), that I have no idea where the recipe came from. The texture is amazing. It's very soft and silky. It's perfect for little hands. It smells wonderful, too! My daughter plays with it for hours and it doesn't dry out in that time. Approximate Time: About 15 minutes total. Home Made Play Dough
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
I urgently needed a few days off work but I knew the boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that maybe if I acted 'crazy', then he would tell me to take a few days off. So, I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My secretary asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb, so the Boss might think I was 'crazy' and give me a few days off. A few minutes later, the boss came into the office and asked, 'What in the name of Sam Hill are you doing?' I told him I was a light bulb. He said, 'You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.' I jumped down and walked out of the office. When my secretary followed me, the boss asked her, 'And where do you think you're going?!' To which she replied: 'I'm going home too. I can't work in the dark.' ______________________________________________________ "Pastor," Johnny says, "I heard you say today that our bodies came from the dust." "That's right, Johnny, I did." "And I heard you say that when we die, our bodies go back to dust." "Yes, I'm glad you were listening. Why do you ask?" "Well you better come over to our house right away and look under my bed, 'cause there's someone either comin' or goin'!"
Bonus Link
sent in by Simon
These Kanye West Fans Want To Know: “Who Is this Paul McCartney?

Today in 
0871 England's King Alfred defeated the Danes at the Battle of Ashdown. 
1205 Philip of Swabia was crowned as King of the Romans. 
1453 Frederick III erected Austria into an Archduchy. 
1540 King Henry VIII of England was married to Anne of Cleves, 
 his fourth wife. 
1720 The Committee of Inquiry on the South Sea Bubble 
 published its findings. 
1838 Samuel Morse publicly demonstrated the telegraph for 
 the first time. 
1900 In India, it was reported that millions of people were 
 dying from starvation. 
1900 Off of South Africa, the British seized the German 
 steamer Herzog. The boat was released on January 22, 1900. 
1930 The first diesel-engine automobile trip was completed 
 after a run of 792 miles from Indianapolis, IN, to New York City, NY. 
1942 The first commercial around-the-world airline flight 
 took place. Pan American Airlines was the company that 
 made history with the feat. 
1945 The Battle of the Bulge ended with 130,000 German and 
 77,000 Allied casualties. 
1950 Britain recognized the Communist government of China. 
1952 "Peanuts" debuted in Sunday papers across the United States. 
1967 U.S. and South Vietnamese forces launched a major 
 offensive, known as Operation "Deckhouse V". 
1982 William G. Bonin was convicted in Los Angeles, CA, of 
 being the "freeway killer" who had murdered 14 young men and boys. 
1987 After a 29-year lapse, the Ford Thunderbird was presented 
 with the Motor Trend Car of the Year Award. It was the first 
 occurrence of a repeat winner of the award. 
1994 Figure skater Nancy Kerrigan was clubbed on the right 
 leg by an assailant at Cobo Arena in Detroit, MI. Four men 
 were later sentenced to prison for the attack, including 
 Tonya Harding's ex-husband. 
1998 The spacecraft Lunar Prospect was launched into orbit 
 around the moon. The craft was crashed into the moon, in 
 an effort to find water under the lunar surface, on 
 July 31, 1999. 
2015  smiled.


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What is SSH? 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Monhday, January 5

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
William Mattson Beaten To 
Bloody Pulp After Allegedly Raping 
Nephew's Girlfriend
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1896 It was reported by The Austrian newspaper that Wilhelm 
 Roentgen had discovered the type of radiation that became 
 known as X-rays. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted. Martin Luther King Jr. (1929 - 1968) ______________________________________________________ How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue... and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go? ------------- your hips! ______________________________________________________ As a young married couple, a husband and a wife lived in a cheap housing complex near the base where he was working. Their chief complaint was that the walls were paper-thin and that they had no privacy. This was painfully obvious when one morning the husband was upstairs and the wife was downstairs on the telephone. She was interrupted by the doorbell and went to greet her neighbor. "Give this to your husband," he said thrusting a roll of toilet paper into her hands. "He's been yelling for it for 15 minutes!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Jean for this picture: Click through for the big picture
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to William Mattson, 52 Myrtle Beach South Carolina William Mattson Beaten To Bloody Pulp After Allegedly Raping Nephew's Girlfriend A South Carolina man was severely beaten after allegedly raping his nephew's girlfriend on New Year's Eve. William Mattson, 52, can be seen in his mugshot with an eye swollen shut and cuts and bruises. The sexual assault suspect is accused of attacking the woman at a party while his nephew --the victim's boyfriend --was away, according to Myrtle Beach Online. The nephew told police that he heard sounds coming from inside his father's bedroom when he returned to the party. He kicked down the door and says he found Mattson on top of his girlfriend. He said he punched Mattson repeatedly, driving him from his house. When police were called at about 1 a.m. on Jan. 1, Mattson returned to the property to tell officers that the sex was consensual, according to the New York Daily News. Mattson's nephew lunged again, attacking the suspect in front of officers. Nevertheless, the police department described the nephew's attack as being in defense of the victim, according to a press release. The victim, of course, standing between her boyfriend and the cops, denied that the incident was consensual. Mattson was charged with first-degree criminal sexual conduct. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Alex Re: SSH Dear Webby What exactly is SSH? A program I am trying to buy, requires that I have SSH access. However, my web host tells me that I don't need it and would not know how to use it, even if I had it. So, what is it and what does it do? Alex Dear Alex SSH is secure access to the server command line, just like Telnet used to be until about 15 years ago. The main difference is that SSH is securely encrypted and can't be intercepted. It is not difficult to use, and programs, that require it, are very specific and detailed about what you need to do. Usually they even give you the exact command to type or paste to the command line. Then you type that in and hit Enter. No big deal at all. Web hosting is often like an MLM pyramid. The farther down you are, the fewer rights and privileges you have. When you don't get SSH, but instead get a snotty reply implying that you would not know how to use it, then you know you have hit rock bottom, and it's time to move up a few levels or get a better web host. The bare command line can be a bit intimidating to some people, but at our level, for example, we explain what each command does, and step you through it while connected to you via Skype chat. It's no big deal. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Bind Your Shop Extension Cord I couldn't find a rubber band or any kind of tie to bind up my cord so I used a tube sock. First I cut off the toe end of it and stretched it over the cord that I had rolled up. It fit perfect and held it together without any problems of it snapping or falling off. By Shirley [13]
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
From a passenger ship one can just barely see a bearded man on a small island in the distance who is shouting and desperately waving his hands. "Who is that?" a passenger asked a passing steward. "I've no idea. Every year when we pass by, he goes nuts." ______________________________________________________ >From Vi All my relatives know that I refold the wrapping paper from my Christmas presents for reuse later. "Auntie," asked one of my young nieces, "why do you save all that paper?" "I'm doing what's best for the environment," I replied. "So I'm recycling." "Good thing you didn't ask that question five years ago," my daughter interrupted. "Then she was just plain cheap."
Bonus Link
sent in by Sailor
Grand Canyon in snow

Today in 
1781 Richmond, VA, was burned by a British naval expedition 
 led by Benedict Arnold. 
1885 The Long Island Railroad Company became the first to 
 offer piggy-back rail service which was the transportation 
 of farm wagons on trains. 
1896 It was reported by The Austrian newspaper that Wilhelm 
 Roentgen had discovered the type of radiation that became 
 known as X-rays. 
1900 In Ireland, Nationalist leader John Edward Redmond 
 called for a revolt against British rule. 
1903 The general public could use the Pacific cable for 
 the very first time. 
1914 Ford Motor Company announced that there would be a 
 new daily minimum wage of $5 and an eight-hour workday. 
1933 Construction of the Golden Gate Bridge began. 
1944 The London "Daily Mail" was the first transoceanic 
 newspaper to be published. 
1948 Warner Brothers-Pathe showed the very first color 
 newsreel. The footage was of the Tournament of Roses 
 Parade and the Rose Bowl football classic. 
1956 In the Peanuts comic strip, Snoopy walked on two 
 legs for the first time. 
1972 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon ordered the 
 development of the space shuttle. 
1987 U.S. President Ronald Reagan underwent prostate 
 surgery. 
1993 The state of Washington executed Westley Allan Dodd. 
 It was America's first legal hanging since 1965. Dodd 
 was an admitted child sex killer. 
1996 Yahya Ayyash, a member of the Hamas in Israel, is 
 killed by a booby-trapped cellular phone. 
1998 U.S. Representative Sonny Bono died in skiing accident. 
2002 A 15 year-old student pilot, Charles Bishop, crashed a 
 small plane into a building in Tampa, FL. Bishop was about 
 to begin a flying lesson when he took off without permission 
 and without an instructor. 
2015  smiled.


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Monitor colors 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, January 3

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Father and son criminal duo, who murdered and robbed 
an old couple, set their house on fire, took their bodies
on a 4 hour ride to a different state, and shot at two cops.
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1885 Dr. William Grant performed the first successful appendectomy.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place, and kill him. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) Wine makes a man more pleased with himself; I do not say that it makes him more pleasing to others. --- Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784) "Science is facts; just as houses are made of stones, so is science made of facts; but a pile of stones is not a house and a collection of facts is not necessarily science." --- Henri Poincare ______________________________________________________ Bubba goes to the revival and listens to the preacher. After a while, the preacher asks anyone with needs to come forward and be prayed over. Bubba gets in line. When it's his turn the preacher says, "Bubba, what you want me to pray about?" Bubba says, "Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing." So the preacher puts one finger in Bubba's ear and the other hand on top of his head and prays a while. After a few minutes, he removes his hands and says, "Bubba, how's your hearing now?" Bubba says, "I don't know preacher, it's not until next Wednesday in Dallas. ______________________________________________________ After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister when I grow up." "That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?" "Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen." ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture Not Basking Robin
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Eric Campbell, 21 Edward Campbell, 54 Indian Acres, Texas Father and son criminal duo, who murdered and robbed an old couple, set their house on fire, took their bodies on a 4 hour ride to a different state, and shot at two cops. A Texas father and son went on a multi-state crime spree Thursday, robbing and killing a couple in North Carolina before transporting the bodies to West Virginia, where they shot two officers, police say. Eric Campbell, 21, and his father, 54-year-old Edward Campbell, both of Indian Acres, Texas, were pulled over in Lewisburg, West Virginia on Thursday afternoon. They were in separate vehicles, one of which police flagged as stolen. Edward Campbell, who was driving a red truck at the time, allegedly opened fire on two officers, wounding both of them. Cops returned fire and hit the suspect in the leg. Edward fled, but was later collared as he hid in the woods. Eric turned himself in about 90 minutes after the shootout. Both wounded officers have just superficial wounds. Upon further investigation, cops found the bodies of Jerome Faulkner, 73, and his 62-year-old wife, Dora, under a mattress in the bed of the red pickup truck, WVNS reports. Investigators believe the Campbells chose the couple at random to rob and murder in their Oak Hill, North Carolina home. The suspects allegedly lit the house on fire at about 7 a.m., threw the bodies in the back of the truck and drove nearly four hours to West Virginia. "When we first got the call, we thought it was just a structure fire," Granville County, North Carolina Sheriff Brindell Wilkins told WVNS. "As things progressed, we found some things here that didn't look right." Both of the suspects were charged with malicious assault and attempted murder of an officer. Eric Campbell, whose mugshot is above, was held without bail at the Southern Regional Jail in West Virginia, while his father is still hospitalized with a bullet wound to the leg. The officers, identified as Jeromy Dove and Nicholas Sams, are recovering with superficial wounds from the shooting. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ron Re: Monitor colors Dear Webby My monitors (work and home) show colors as different as Fuji and Kodak. When I fix a picture to look right at home, it looks crappy on the monitor at work. And vice versa. Is one of them dying or is there an adjustment to save it? Ron You can adjust the color temperature of a monitor. Just play with the menu buttons until you get to a menu that has big numbers, like 4500 and going up to 9300, or sometimes even higher. A low number gives you a warm lighting, like candle light, a high number gives you a hot light, like mercury vapor or arc, or "cool white" fluorescent. Straight from the factory, most monitors come set at 9300, and most people never change that setting. If you set your monitor to 9300, then if a picture looks OK for you, it will look OK for most people. To see how a print job will look, lower the numbers. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Baking Powder For Glowing Skin One should use baking powder on their face for a glow. After that, there is no need to do a facial, this will automatically give you a facial look. By Suman from New Delhi
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
There was a large revival meeting on the outskirts of town, and at the appropriate corner there was a large sign proclaiming...."If you are weary of sin and want to be saved, turn here, go 100 yards, and come into the revival tent." Below the sign someone had hung another smaller one. "If NOT weary, call Sherry 555-3550." ______________________________________________________ A college drama group presented a play in which one character would stand on a trap door and announce, "I descend into hell!" A stagehand below would then pull a rope, the trapdoor would open, and the character would plunge through. The play was well received. When the actor playing the part became ill, another actor who was quite overweight took his place. When the new actor announced, "I descend into hell!" the stagehand pulled the rope, and he actor began his plunge, but became hopelessly stuck. No amount of tugging on the rope could make him descend. One student in the balcony jumped up and yelled: "Hallelujah! Hell is full!"


Dianne got her wings December 29

Today in 
1884 The socialist Fabian Society was founded in London. 
1885 Dr. William Grant performed the first successful appendectomy.
1936 The first pop music chart based on national sales was 
 published by "Billboard" magazine. 
1944 The attack on Monte Cassino was launched by the British 
 Fifth Army in Italy. 
1948 Britain granted independence to Burma. 
1951 During the Korean conflict, North Korean and Communist 
 Chinese forces captured the city of Seoul. 
1953 Tufted plastic carpeting was introduced by Barwick Mills. 
1958 The Soviet satellite Sputknik I fell to the earth from 
 its orbit. The craft had been launched on October 4, 1957. 
1962 New York City introduced a train that operated without 
 conductors and motormen. 
1965 The Fender Guitar Company was sold to CBS for $13 million. 
1984 Wayne ‘The Great One’ Gretzky scored eight points (four 
 goals and four assists) for the second time in his National 
 Hockey League (NHL) career. Edmonton’s Oilers defeated the 
 Minnesota North Stars, 12-8. The game was the highest-
 scoring NHL game to date. 
1991 The U.N. Security Council voted unanimously to condemn 
 Israel's treatment of the Palestinians in the occupied 
 territories. 
1997 The Greek Cypriot government signed an agreement to 
 buy S-300 surface-to-air missiles from Russia. 
1999 A drifting Nicaraguan fishing boat was found by the 
 Norwegian oil tanker Joelm. The fisherman had been lost at 
 sea for 35 days after the engine of their vessel quit 
 working. 
1999 Former professional wrestler Jesse Ventura was sworn 
 in as Minnesota's 37th governor. 
2006 Nancy Pelosi became Speaker of the U.S. House of 
 Representatives. She was the first woman to hold the position. 
2010 In Dubai, United Arab Emirates, the Burj Dubai 
 (Dubai Tower) opened as the world's tallest tower at 
 2,625 feet
2015  smiled.


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Mozbackup 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, January 3

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
A Floriduh couple, who hid in a museum closet
and thought they were locked in.
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1833 Britain seized control of the Falkland Islands in the 
 South Atlantic. About 150 years later, Argentina seized the 
 islands from the British, but Britain took them back after 
 a 74-day war.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) ______________________________________________________ >From Barbara I have a joke for you. Shortly before our 25th wedding anniversary, my husband sent 25 long-stemmed yellow roses to me at my office. A few days later, I plucked all the petals and dried them. On the night of our anniversary, I spread the petals over the bed and lay on top of them, wearing only a negligee. As I’d hoped, I got a reaction from my husband. When he saw me, he exclaimed, “Are those potato chips?” Barbara ______________________________________________________ Before Linda became engaged, she was quite the beauty, and didn't mind letting her boyfriend know it, too: "A lot of men are gonna be totally miserable when I marry." she told him. "Really?" asked the boyfriend, "And just how many men are you planning to marry?" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to my dad for thgis picture: Click through for the big picture
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Amber Campbell, 24 John Arwood Daytona Beach, Floriduh Florida couple spent days in unlocked closet, thought they were trapped A pair of hapless accused trespassers spent two days in a closet, thinking they were trapped inside. John Arwood and Amber Campbell told police that someone had chased them into the closet at Daytona State College's Marine and Environmental Science Center on Sunday. Once they were inside the janitor's closet, they couldn't get out. But it wasn't until Tuesday that Arwood decided to call 911. When Daytona Beach police arrived, they discovered that the door did not lock. Cops found human feces and suspected drug paraphernalia in the closet, but they didn't find any drugs. Arwood and Campbell were both charged with trespassing. Campbell was also charged with violating her probation. In 2013, she was arrested after escaping a mental health treatment facility, crashing a car and escaping from the back of a police cruiser. Interesting tramp stamp on her throat. "Deep throat for $" According to the Orlando Sentinel, Arwood's record includes five jail sentences in Florida since 2000, with offenses including armed burglary, possession of more than 20 grams of marijuana, and fleeing law enforcement. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Lee Re: Mozbackup Dear Webby Wouldn't it be best to install Thunderbird fresh on new computer and then use Mozbackup to save info on old computer and then transfer that file (large) to new computer. I use Mozbackup in case of loss. Carbonite saves the file for me. Thanks Lee Thanks Lee! That could simplify things for some people! Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Add Ranch Dressing to Mashed Potatoes As old people are wont to do, DH and I sometimes forget to go to the supermarket. Today I wanted mashed potatoes and noticed that there was no butter in the fridge. I got out my bottle of ranch dressing and smushed the bottle so that a good sized blob came out. I then whipped them in the usual manner and they were delicious! By Marty Dick [147]
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
The local priest came across Paddy who had stumbled out of the town tavern. "Paddy," he said, " I'm afraid I'll not be seeing you in Heaven one day." "Really, Father?" slurred Paddy. "What have you done now?" ______________________________________________________ Bidding at a local auction was proceeding furiously when the auctioneer suddenly announced, "A gentleman in this room has lost a wallet containing $10,000. If it is returned, he will pay a reward of $2,000." There was a moment's silence, and then from the back of the room came the cry, "Two thousand five hundred!"


Dianne got her wings December 29

Today in 
1496 References in Leonardo da Vinci notebooks suggested that 
 he tested his flying machine. The test didn't succeed and he 
 didn't try to fly again for several years. 
1521 Pope Leo X excommunicated Martin Luther. 
1777 The Battle of Princeton took place in the War of Independence, 
 in which George Washington defeated the British forces, 
 led by Cornwallis. 
1815 By secret treaty, Austria, Britain, and France formed a 
 defensive alliance against Prusso-Russian plans to solve 
 the Saxon and Polish problems. 
1833 Britain seized control of the Falkland Islands in the 
 South Atlantic. About 150 years later, Argentina seized the 
 islands from the British, but Britain took them back after 
 a 74-day war. 
1868 The Shogunate was abolished in Japan and Meiji dynasty 
 was restored. 
1871 Henry W. Bradley patented oleomargarine. 
1888 The drinking straw was patented by Marvin C. Stone. 
1924 English explorer Howard Carter discovered the sarcophagus 
 of Tutankhamen in the Valley of the Kings, near Luxor, Egypt. 
1925 In Italy, Mussolini announced that he would take 
 dictatorial powers. 
1947 In Trenton, NJ, Al Herrin, passed away at age 92. He 
 had claimed that he had not slept at all during his life. 
1957 The Hamilton Watch Company introduced the first electric watch. 
1959 In the U.S., Alaska became the 49th state. 
1961 The U.S. severed diplomatic relations with Cuba. 
1962 Pope John XXIII excommunicated Cuban prime minister 
 Fidel Castro. 
1967 Jack Ruby died in a Dallas, TX, hospital. 
1980 Conservationist Joy Adamson, author of "Born Free," was 
 killed in northern Kenya by a servant. 
1990 Ousted Panamanian leader Manuel Noriega surrendered to 
 U.S. forces, 10 days after taking refuge in the Vatican's 
 diplomatic mission. 
1993 U.S. President George H.W. Bush and Russian President 
 Boris Yeltsin signed the second Strategic Arms Reduction 
 Treaty (START) in Moscow. 
1998 China announced that it would spend $27.7 billion to 
 fight erosion and pollution in the Yangtze and Yellow river 
 valleys. 
1999 Israeli authorities detained, and later expelled, 14 
 members of Concerned Christians. Israili officials claimed 
 that the Denver, CO-based cult was plotting violence in 
 Jerusalem to bring about the Second Coming of Christ. 
2000 Charles M. Schulz's final original daily comic strip 
 appeared in newspapers. 
2001 The ATF (Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms) charged 
 the "Texas 7" with weapons violations. An autopsy showed 
 that Aubrey Hawkins, killed by the convicts, had been shot 
 11 times and run over with a vehicle. 
2004 NASA's Spirit rover landed on Mars. The craft was able 
 to send back black and white images three hours after landing.

2015  smiled.


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Migrating Thunderbird data to a new machine 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, January 2
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


The voting at the Ezinefinder doesn't work yet.
It usually takes about a week and a lot of nagging, 
until they restart it in a new year. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Missouri man, who choked his wife with a
roll of wrapping paper in Christmas day attack
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1492 The leader of the last Arab stronghold in Spain 
 surrendered to Spanish forces loyal to 
 King Ferdinand II and Queen Isabella I. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Those whom the Gods would destroy, they first call promising. --- Cyril Connolly (1903 - 1974) Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty. --- Mark Twain Every teenager should get a high school education. Even if they already know everything. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ Is it proper for a man to profit from the mistakes of another?" a Angus mcKenzie asked his minister. "Definitely not," was the preacher's answer. "Are you absolutely certain?" "Yes, my son, absolutely." "Okay. In that case, I wonder if you'd mind returning that $25 I gave you after my wedding last year?" ______________________________________________________ Q: This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? A: I forget. Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten? A: What was your question? ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Walter the Stonecarver for this picture: Click through for the big picture
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to David Hampton, 33, St. Peters Missouri Missouri man choked wife with roll of wrapping paper in Christmas day attack David Hampton, a Missouri man, 33, is locked up for domestic assault after he allegedly used a cardboard roll of wrapping paper to choke his wife during a Christmas Day attack in their home. According to a probable cause statement, Hampton’s wife told police that she “blacked out” during the attack. “The victim had injuries consistent with being strangled,” a cop reported. Hampton, pictured in the above mug shot, lives with the victim and the couple’s two children in St. Peters, a city 30 miles from St. Louis. Charged with felony domestic assault, Hampton was booked into the St. Charles County jail, where he remains locked up in lieu of $50,000 cash bail. A judge has ordered Hampton to have no contact with his spouse. Hampton is scheduled for a January 8 Circuit Court hearing. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Noella Re: Move Thunderbird data to new laptop Dear Webby Need to find Thunderbird files, not Outlook Express. I've already transferred everything over to Thunderbird. Now I just need to transfer Thunderbird files to my laptop. Noella Dear Noella You need "Moving Thunderbird Data to a New Computer" at https://support.mozilla.org/en-US/kb/moving-thunderbird-data-to-a-new-computer Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing Wax or Crayon from Clothes Heat an iron. Damp a face cloth. Put the face cloth on the item of clothing with the crayon or wax to be removed. Place the hot iron on the damp face cloth and move around for 30 seconds until wax or crayon is removed. By Ziggyziggy [1]
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?" A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said, "Wedding cake" ______________________________________________________ "Today's Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns from a full choir." "The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her." "During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit." "The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's 'Hamlet' in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy."


Dianne got her wings December 29

Today in 
1492 The leader of the last Arab stronghold in Spain 
 surrendered to Spanish forces loyal to 
 King Ferdinand II and Queen Isabella I. 
1842 In Fairmount, PA, the first wire suspension bridge 
 was opened to traffic. 
1872 Brigham Young, the 71-year-old leader of the Mormon 
 Church, was arrested on a charge of bigamy. He had 25 wives.
1879 Thomas Edison began construction on his first generator. 
1890 Alice Sanger became the first female White House staffer. 
1900 The Chicago Canal opened. 
1917 Royal Bank of Canada took over the Quebec Bank. 
1942 The Philippine capital of Manila was captured by Japanese 
 forces during World War II. 
1955 Panamanian President Jose Antonio Remon was assassinated. 
1968 Fidel Castro announced petroleum and sugar rationing in Cuba. 
1996 AT&T announced that it would eliminate 40,000 jobs over three years. 
1998 Russia began circulating new rubles in effort to keep 
 inflation in check and promote confidence.
2015  smiled.


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Move Thunderbird data to new laptop 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Thursday, January 1
Happy New Year!
First day for breaking resolutions.
Isn't that what they are for?

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Tattooed Hilbilly in Florida, who admitted that he has
started fires with Molotov cocktails

Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1622 The Papal Chancery adopted January 1st as the beginning 
 of the New Year (instead of March 25th).
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Wise sayings often fall on barren ground; but a kind word is never thrown away. --- Sir Arthur Helps I have such poor vision I can date anybody. --- Garry Shandling (1949 - ) ______________________________________________________ A famed English explorer was invited to Dartmouth to tell of his adventures in the African jungle. "Can you imagine," he demanded, "people so primitive that they love to eat the embryo of certain birds, and slices from the belly of certain animals? And grind up grass seed, make it into a paste, burn it over a fire, then smear it with a greasy mess they extract from the mammary fluid of certain other animals?" When the students looked startled by such barbarism, the explorer added softly, "What I've been describing, of course, is a breakfast of bacon and eggs and buttered toast." ______________________________________________________ My friend, Monica, is an accomplished harpist who frequently plays for weddings, receptions, parties and other such events. She is also blonde and has an appropriately cherubic face. She was on her way to an engagement at a hotel and stepped into an elevator with her large golden harp. Just before the doors closed, a distinguished gray-haired man stepped on. As the elevator rose, he looked thoughtfully first at her and then her harp and asked, "How far up does this elevator go?" ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture Hanging out ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jeffrey Mark Jalinski, 30, Orange County Florida Started Fires With Gas-Filled Bottles A Florida man with very distinctive facial tattoos allegedly told police he had a burning desire to start fires. Now his heated hobby has landed him in hot water. Police in Orange County, Florida, arrested Jeffrey Mark Jalinski, 30, on Dec. 22, after he admitted to using homemade devices to start fires in burn barrels, the Orlando Sentinel reports. Deputies and a SWAT team initially showed up at Jalinski's motor home with a search warrant looking for drugs. Instead, they said, they found three beer bottles believed to contain gasoline and rags stuck in the neck of each bottle. The suspect allegedly told deputies that the bottles were his and confirmed they were filled with gas. He also allegedly confessed to using the bottles to start fires, KIRO TV reports. Jalinski was charged with possession of or discharging a destructive device. He has since bonded out of Orange County Jail, but not before posing for this memorable mug shot, according to AR15.com. ------------ I have seen Hillbillies light their burning barrels that way, if they stunk too much or had too many wasps or horseflies. Usually though, the bottle did not break and required a shot from a shotgun to shatter it and light the barrel. That is, if they were sober enough to actually get the bottle INTO the barrel. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Noella Re: Move Thunderbird daqta to new laptop Dear Webby Need to find Thunderbird files, not Outlook Express. I've already transferred everything over to Thunderbird. Now I just need to transfer Thunderbird files to my laptop. Noella Dear Noella You need "Moving Thunderbird Data to a New Computer" at https://support.mozilla.org/en-US/kb/moving-thunderbird-data-to-a-new-computer Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Crust Cover from Metal Pie Plate With the holidays coming and after wasting countless strips of aluminum foil just to cover my pie crusts when baking, I tried cutting up an old aluminum pie pan to place over my pie crusts while baking. It worked! Use craft scissors and cut cleanly so you leave no sharp edges. I would suggest you wear work gloves and possibly use needle nose pliers to bend down and crimp closed the cut ends after cutting the circle out of the bottom just to guarantee no cuts! I intend to reuse these again and again. By Dee [186]
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
A real estate salesman had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under water. "That customer's going to come back here pretty mad," he said to his boss. "Should I give him his money back?" "Money back?" roared the boss. "What kind of salesman are you? Get out there and sell him a houseboat." ______________________________________________________ Our young daughter had adopted a stray cat. To my distress, he began to use the back of our new sofa as a scratching post. "Don't worry," my husband reassured me. "I'll have him trained in no time." I watched for several days as my husband patiently "trained" our new pet. Whenever the cat scratched, my husband deposited him outdoors to teach him a lesson. The cat learned quickly. For the next 16 years, whenever he wanted to go outside, he scratched the back of the sofa.


All types of peanut butter

Today in 
0404 The last gladiator competition was held in Rome. 
1622 The Papal Chancery adopted January 1st as the beginning 
 of the New Year (instead of March 25th). 
1772 The first traveler's checks were issued in London. 
1797 Albany became the capital of New York state, 
 replacing New York City. 
1801 The Act of Union of England and Ireland came into force. 
1801 Italian astronomer Giuseppe Piazzi became the first 
 person to discover an asteroid. He named it Ceres. 
1804 Haiti gained its independence. 
1808 The U.S. prohibited import of slaves from Africa. 
1863 U.S. President Lincoln signed the Emancipation 
 Proclamation, which declared that all slaves in the 
 rebel states were free. 
1887 Queen Victoria was proclaimed empress of India in Delhi. 
1894 The Manchester Ship Canal was officially opened. 
1898 Manhattan, the Bronx, Brooklyn, Queens and Staten Island 
 were consolidated into New York City. 
1901 The Commonwealth of Australia was founded. Lord Hopetoun 
 officially assumed the duties as the first Governor-General. 
1909 The first payments of old-age pensions were made in Britain. 
 People over 70 received five shillings a week. 
1913 The post office began parcel post deliveries. 
1924 Frank B. Cooney received a patent for ink paste. 
1934 Alcatraz Island officially became a Federal Prison. 
1936 The "New York Herald Tribune" began microfilming its 
 current issues. 
1945 France was admitted to the United Nations. 
1956 Sudan gained its independence. 
1958 The European Economic Community (EEC) started operations. 
1959 Fidel Castro overthrew the government of Fulgencio 
 Batista, and seized power in Cuba. 
1968 Evel Knievel, stunt performing daredevil, lost control 
 of his motorcycle midway through a jump of 141 feet over 
 the ornamental fountains in front of Caesar’s Palace in 
 Las Vegas. 
1971 Tobacco ads representing $20 million dollars in 
 advertising were banned from TV and radio broadcast. 
1973 Britain, Ireland, Denmark and Norway joined the EEC. 
1975 The magazine "Popular Electronics" announced the 
 invention of a person computer called Altair. MITS, 
 using an Intel microprocessor, developed the computer. 
1981 Greece joined the European Community. 
1984 AT&T was broken up into 22 Bell System companies 
 under terms of an antitrust agreement with the U.S. 
 Federal government. 
1986 Spain and Portugal joined the European Community (EC). 
1987 A pro-democracy rally took place in Beijing's Tiananmen Square (China). 
1990 David Dinkins was sworn in as New York City's first black mayor. 
1993 Czechoslovakia split into two separate states, the 
 Czech Republic and Slovakia. The peaceful division had 
 been engineered in 1992. 
1994 The North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA) went into effect. 
1995 Frederick West, an alleged killer of 12 women and girls, 
 was found hanged in his jail cell in Winston Green prison, 
 in Birmingham. West had been under almost continuous watch 
 since his arrest in 1994, but security had reportedly been 
 relaxed in the months preceding the apparent suicide. 
1995 The World Trade Organization came into existence. The 
 group of 125 nations monitors global trade. 
1998 A new anti-smoking law went into effect in California. 
 The law prohibiting people from lighting up in bars. 
1999 The euro became currency for 11 Member States of the 
 European Union. Coins and notes were not available until 
 January 1, 2002. 
1999 In California, a law went into effect that defined 
 "invasion of privacy as trespassing with the intent to 
 capture audio or video images of a celebrity or crime 
 victim engaging in a personal of family activity." 
2001 The "Texas 7," rented space in an RV park in Woodland Park, CO.
2015  smiled.


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RCA cables to modern TVs 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Wednesday, December 31

Last day to vote for the Humor Letter in 2014:
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Connecticut drunk, who fought everyone, and lost. Details at Boneheads Today, in 1879 Thomas Edison gave his first public demonstration of incandescent lighting to an audience in Menlo Park, NJ. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
When you're through changing, you're through. --- Bruce Barton I have such poor vision I can date anybody. --- Garry Shandling (1949 - ) ______________________________________________________ A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old man cleared his throat, fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932, the depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents. The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I had accumulated a fortune of $1.37. Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars." ______________________________________________________ Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and started thinking about things. "Mommy, why does daddy have so few hairs on his head?" he asked his mother. "He thinks a lot," replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a good answer to her husband's baldness. Johnny thought for a second and replied, "I'm glad you don't do any thinking. You would look weird if you were bald!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Walter, The Stonecarver for this picture. Click through for the big picture ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Edward Miller, 21, Hartford, Connecticut a guy who ‘fought everyone’ and lost Edward Miller of Hartford, Connecticut went full-blown Screech in the metropolis of nearby West Hartford over the weekend–and the glorious result is a late contender for Mugshot of the Year. It seems that the 21-year-old set out to pretty much fight everybody at a local restaurant. That included the police who were called in to the incident. Alcohol might have been involved. The cops sure got involved. Miller kept brawling even after getting pepper-sprayed. After he was suitably tenderized and stuffed into the police car, Miller kicked out the back window of the police car. Charges include interfering with a police officer, first degree criminal mischief, and breach of peace. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Brook Re: RCA Cables Dear Webby It seems like I can never get the RCA cables to work. I have an older Wii and an older DVD player that I would like to connect (to different TVs). The cables are red, white and yellow, yet the TVs never seem to have a yellow connector. I checked on wiki and it says that "...beyond 7.1 audio, there are no color standards." Please hellp. Thanks Brook Dear Brook I think the RCA standard is history. You would need an old style TV for that. Wii might have some converters, but I would not count on that. They would rather sell you a new one, that works with today's TVs. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal Oatmeal is so filling, quick, and cheap! But oatmeal can get so boring. I like to "spice" it up every now and then to make it enjoyable again.:) One of the things I like about this recipe is that you can use your less than perfect apples that are starting to get a bit soft. This is quite tasty on a cold winter morning. And still very healthy! :) Approximate Time: About 10-15 minutes Yield: About 6 servings Ingredients: 6 cups water 3 1/2 cup oatmeal 3 large apples, any kind will do. I used Granny Smith. 1/3 - 1/2 cup brown sugar 1 - 2 tsp cinnamon butter or margarine Steps: Peel and cube 3 large apples, any kind. I used Granny Smith, but any will be great. Try and use up the ones that are going soft. They will still be tasty! Put 6 cups of water into a pot. Add apples, 1/3 - 1/2 cup brown sugar (depending on how sweet you like it). Add 1 - 2 teaspoons cinnamon (depending on how "cinnamony" you like it.:) Cook on high until you have a rolling boil. Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal Add 3 1/2 cups oatmeal, quick or regular, either one, stir constantly for about 5 minutes. Top with a lovely pat of butter or margarine and enjoy! :) You could easily halve this recipe if you don't want such a large pot. I just have a lot of people to feed! Source: Modified from "Blissful and Domestic" blog By melissa [55]
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
A guy walked into his friend's office, he found him sitting at his desk, looking very depressed. "Hey, what's up with you?", he asks. "Oh, its my wife," replied the man sadly. "She's hired a new secretary for me." "Well, nothing wrong in that. Is she blonde, redhead or brunette?" "Neither, her grandfather is bald." ______________________________________________________ Bumper Stickers from 20 years ago: If that phone was up your butt, maybe you could drive better! Don't be sexist, broads hate that. Saw it... Wanted it... Had a fit... Got it! Constipated people don't give a crap. Who lit the fuse on your tampon? My kid got your honor roll student pregnant. If you can read this... I lost my trailer. Your just jealous cause the voices are only talking to me. I have the body of a God.... Buddha. So many pedestrians...so little time. Eat right, exercise, die anyway! Illiterate...Write for help. Cover me... I'm changing lanes. Boldly going nowhere. Body by Nautilus, brain by Mattel. Honk if anything falls off. If we quit voting, will they all go away ? Heart attacks... God's revenge for dieting.


All types of peanut butter

Today in 
1687 The first Huguenots set sail from France for the Cape 
 of Good Hope, where they would later create the South African 
 wine industry with the vines they took with them on the voyage. 
1695 The window tax was imposed in Britain, which resulted in 
 many windows being bricked up. 
1775 The British repulsed an attack by Continental Army 
 generals Richard Montgomery and Benedict Arnold at Quebec. 
 Montgomery was killed in the battle. 
1857 Britain's Queen Victoria decided to make Ottawa the 
 capital of Canada. 
1879 Thomas Edison gave his first public demonstration of 
 incandescent lighting to an audience in Menlo Park, NJ. 
1891 New York's new Immigration Depot was opened at Ellis 
 Island, to provide improved facilities for the massive 
 numbers of arrivals. 
1897 Brooklyn, NY, spent its last day as a separate entity 
 before becoming part of New York City. 
1923 In London, the BBC first broadcast the chimes of Big Ben. 
1929 Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians played 
 "Auld Lang Syne" as a New Year's Eve song for the first time. 
1946 U.S. President Truman officially proclaimed the end of 
 hostilities in World War II. 
1955 General Motors became the first U.S. corporation to earn 
 more than one billion dollars in a single year. 
1960 The farthing coin, which had been in use in Great Britain 
 since the 13th century, ceased to be legal tender. 
1961 In the U.S., the Marshall Plan expired after distributing 
 more than $12 billion in foreign aid. 
1974 Private U.S. citizens were allowed to buy and own gold 
 for the first time in more than 40 years. 
1978 Taiwanese diplomats struck their colors for the final 
 time from the embassy flagpole in Washington, DC. The event 
 marked the end of diplomatic relations with the U.S. 
1979 At year end oil prices were 88% higher than at the 
 start of 1979. 
1986 A fire at the Dupont Plaza Hotel in San Juan, Puerto Rico, 
 killed 97 and injured 140 people. Three hotel workers later 
 pled guilty to charges in connection with the fire. 
1997 Michael Kennedy, 39-year-old son of the late U.S. Sen. 
 Robert F. Kennedy, was killed in a skiing accident on 
 Aspen Mountain in Colorado. 
1999 Russian President Boris Yeltsin resigned. Prime Minister 
 Vladimir Putin was designated acting president. 
1999 Five hijackers left the airport where they had been 
 holding 150 hostages on an Indian Airlines plane. They 
 left with two Islamic clerics that they had demanded be 
 freed from an Indian prison. The plane had been hijacked 
 during a flight from Katmandu, Nepal to New Dehli on December 24. 
1999 Sarah Knauss died at the age of 119 years. She was the 
 world's oldest person. She was born September 24, 1880.
2014  smiled.


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Red X instead of picture 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuesday, December 30

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Tennessee woman, who dressed up in armor
and went on a shooting spree.
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1953 The first color TV sets went on sale for about $1,175. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Like its politicians and its wars, society has the teenagers it deserves. --- J. B. Priestley (1894 - 1984) ______________________________________________________ REPORTED TO BE REAL-LIFE ADS ~ 2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, perfect markings, 555-1234. Leave mess. ~ Lost small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family. ~ A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms. ~ Dinner Special: Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00. ~ For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers. ~ Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too. ~ We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand. ~ For Sale: Eight puppies from a German Shepherd and an Alaskan Hussy. ~ Great Dames for sale. ~ Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition. ~ Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children. ~ Vacation Special: have your home exterminated. ~ If you think you've seen everything in Paris, visit the Pere Lachasis Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere, Jean de la Fontain, and Chopin. ~ MT. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in. ~ Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours. ~ Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else. ______________________________________________________ >From Sandie My wife and I spent a vacation on Washington's Olympic Peninsula. We were eager to visit the rain forests near the coast, but we heard that snow slides had made some of the roads impassable. Although apprehensive about the conditions we might run into, we drove on. Sure enough, we had only gone a short way up the High Rain Forest road when we saw a sign that read, "Ice: 10 Miles." Five miles farther on, there was another sign that said, "Ice: 5 Miles." The next one read, "Ice: 1/2 Mile." We practically crept that half-mile. We finally came to the last sign. It was outside a small grocery store and it said, "Ice: $1.98." ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by Walter, The Stonecarver An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Julia Shields 45, Chattanooga, Tennessee Woman in body armor drove around Chattanooga shooting at people A woman dressed in body armor fired shots at multiple people yesterday afternoon, resulting in a police chase on Hixson Pike, which ended in the woman's arrest. Chattanooga Police officers first responded to a report of shots fired on 1300 Cloverdale around 3:52 p.m., according to a news release from the Chattanooga Police Department. Once the officers arrived on scene, they found two victims who said they were at a stop sign when the suspect, Julia Shields, pulled up in a dark colored sedan and fired shots into their vehicle, the release said. A short time after this incident, police received several additional calls reporting that Shields was pointing her firearm at people as she drove pass them. It was reported that she shot at another vehicle in the same area around 1300 Cloverdale Drive, and officers eventually located her sitting in her vehicle in the Stuart Heights Baptist Church Parking lot on Hixson Pike, the release states. Shields escaped the parking lot in her car and led officers on a chase down Highway 153 and Hixson Pike, and continued to point her firearm at vehicles as she passed them. The chase ended at the intersection of Cloverdale Drive and Koblan Drive, as Shields pointed her firearm at an officer, before being taken into custody without incident or injury. Shields has been charged with 3 counts of attempted first degree murder, seven counts of aggravated assault, possession of a firearm during the commission of a felony, felony evading arrest, and felony reckless endangerment, the release says. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Daniel Re: Red X Dear Webby How do you get of the red x in a place where a picture should be? daniel [Free Avast Ad] Dear Daniel Tell the writer of that site, that he or she forgot to upload that picture. That can happen. Happens to me too about once a year. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Hot Chocolate Bar for Parties At your next holiday, why not warm up your guests by having a hot chocolate bar. It was a big hit at our son's birthday party, especially for the kids! We had both a large crockpot with a ladle and an electric kettle for hot water. Supplies: hot chocolate mix whipped cream candy canes (crushed or whole) mini marshmallows sprinkles cups with lids and sleeves stir sticks By lalala... [540]
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
Mrs. Jones was reading a letter at breakfast. Suddenly she looked up suspiciously at her husband. "Henry," she said, "I've just received a letter from mother saying she isn't accepting our invitation to come and stay, as we do not appear to want her. What does she mean by that? I told you to write and say that she was to come at her own convenience. You did write, didn't you?" "Er, yes, I did," said the husband. "But I couldn't spell conveeniance, so I made it risk." ______________________________________________________ By the time Ted arrived at the hockey game, the first quarter was almost over. "Why are you so late?" his friend asked. "I had to toss a coin to decide between going to church and coming to the game." "How long could that have taken you?" "Well, I had to toss it 114 times."


All types of peanut butter

Today in 
1460 At the Battle of Wakefield, in England's Wars of the 
 Roses, the Duke of York was defeated and killed by the 
 Lancastrians. 
1853 The United States bought about 45,000 square miles 
 of land from Mexico in a deal known as the Gadsden Purchase. 
1880 The Transvaal was declared a republic. Paul Kruger 
 became its first president. 
1887 A petition to Queen Victoria with over one million 
 names of women appealing for public houses to be closed 
 on Sundays was handed to the home secretary. 
1903 About 600 people died when fire broke out at the 
 Iroquois Theater in Chicago, IL. 
1919 Lincoln's Inn, in London, admitted the first 
 female bar student. 
1922 The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics (USSR) was formed. 
1924 Edwin Hubble announced the existence of other 
 galactic systems. 
1927 The first subway in the Orient was dedicated in Tokyo, Japan. 
1935 Italian bombers destroyed a Sweedish Red Cross unit in 
 Ethiopia. 
1936 The United Auto Workers union staged its first sit-down 
 strike, at the Fisher Body Plant in Flint, MI. 
1940 California's first freeway was officially opened. It 
 was the Arroyo Seco Parkway connecting Los Angeles and 
 Pasadena. 
1944 King George II of Greece proclaimed a regency to rule 
 his country, virtually renouncing the throne. 
1947 King Michael of Romania abdicated in favor of a 
 Communist Republic. He claimed he was forced from his 
 throne. 
1953 The first color TV sets went on sale for about $1,175. 
1972 The United States halted its heavy bombing of 
 North Vietnam. 
1993 Israel and the Vatican established diplomatic relations. 
1996 A passenger train was bombed by Bodo separatists in 
 India's eastern state of Assam. At least 26 people were 
 killed and dozens were seriously injured. 
1996 About 250,000 striking workers shut down vital services 
 across Israel in protests against budget cuts proposed by 
 Prime Minister Netanyahu. 
1997 More than 400 people were massacred in four villages 
 in the single worst incident during Algeria's insurgency.
2014  smiled.


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Monitoring Internet usage 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, December 29

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Nebraska woman, who rammed a couple,
who parked where she wanted to park
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1890 The U.S. Seventh Cavalry massacred over 400 men, women 
 and children at Wounded Knee Creek, SD. This was the last 
 major conflict between Indians and U.S. troops. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
To have doubted one's own first principles is the mark of a civilized man. --- Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. (1841 - 1935) The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook. --- William James ______________________________________________________ A minister, having served the same church for many years, decided to leave and take a similar position in another church. Without telling anyone or writing a letter to the congregationhe had made this decision. He waited until Sunday morning to announce his resignation in church. When he spoke to the congregation he said, "The same Jesus that called me to this church many years ago has now called upon me to leave and serve another church." The choir all stood and sang, "What a Friend We Have in Jesus." ______________________________________________________ >From Andy My daughter's fifth grade class had been studying astronomy. One morning over breakfast she announced, "On Friday we're having a quiz on the moon." At once her little brother's eyes got big and he asked, "Are you gonna let her go, Mom?" ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Kimberley Pankratius 36 Lincoln, Nebraska Nebraska woman rams couple, who parked where she wanted to park Last Saturday, a couple named Julie and Christopher Weakly went to their local Walmart in Lincoln, Nebraska. While parking, they allegedly took a space that 36-year-old Kimberley Pankratius (pictured above) had been waiting for. The couple say they were unaware that Kimberley had had her eye on the spot. According to a police report, Kimberley wound down her window and yelled at the couple, calling them "douchebags." Julie says that she and her husband ignored Kimberley and walked toward the store. As they were walking, police say, Kimberley drove her PT Cruiser directly at the couple, hitting Julie with the wing mirror hard enough to break it from the car. Kimberley fled the scene, but was tracked down later by police. She was arrested and charged with assault and use of a deadly weapon to commit a felony. Kimberley told police that she "felt really bad" about the whole thing, and claimed she'd been trying to scare the couple, rather than actually hit them with her car. The police report does not specify why she appears to be wearing one of those capes, that they give you when you get your hair cut, for her mugshot. Tech Support Pits From: Jim Re: Monitor Internet usage Dear Webby Good morning! I am looking for your expertise on a problem I have. The Grandson is at our house a lot with his X-Box and using a lot of our internet capacity. I hear rumors of a download that enables me to monitor internet usage to determine where it is going. Our internet supplier only indicates total usage for the day. I am looking for something a little more specific. Do you have any recommendations. This is getting to be a real problem. Thanks a lot for your help and have a Great New Year!! Jim Dear Jim There are no free programs, that I know of, that will tell you where connections have gone to. The best you can do for free are these 5: http://www.hongkiat.com/blog/monitor-internet-usage/ They will tell you what times of day how much data has been used. Since you can already monitor usage per day, it is easy enough to compare days, when he is not visiting to days when he is, and bill him accordingly. Once you start billing him, he will find somebody else to mooch of. He probably does know some people, who have unlimited bandwidth. He can go visit them with his X-box, or at least spread his mooching around. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Saving Leftover Egg Yolks or Whites With all the holiday cooking, there is bound to be some that use only half the egg. I have one now that used only 6 whites. Rather then wasting them or scrambling to make some other recipe, you may save either your white or yolks separately in individual ice cube trays. Whites are fine as is but you need to add a little sugar OR salt to your yolks before freezing. I use salt since it's used in so many recipes. Then just pop them out and let them defrost when you need them! They keep for at least three months. Happy Baking! By Dee [186] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ The Judge admonished the witness, "Do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth?" "I do." "Do you understand what will happen if you are not truthful?" "Sure," said the witness. "My side will win." "OK, then, if your side wins, you are guilty of perjury and will get ten years." ______________________________________________________ Bob's wife uses curlers in her hair after she washes it. She came into the Family Room as he was watching TV. He stared at her funny because she said, "I just set my hair." The last thing he remembers saying was, "Oh, really? And what time does it go off?"


All types of peanut butter

Today in 
1170 - St. Thomas ŕ Becket, the 40th archbishop of Canterbury, 
 was murdered in his own cathedral by four knights acting on 
 Henry II's orders. 
1812 The USS Constitution won a battle with the British ship 
 HMS Java about 30 miles off the coast of Brazil. Before 
 Commodore William Bainbridge ordered the sinking of the Java 
 he had her wheel removed to replace the one the Constitution 
 had lost during the battle. 
1813 The British burned Buffalo, NY, during the War of 1812. 
1837 Canadian militiamen destroyed the Caroline, a U.S. 
 steamboat docked at Buffalo, NY. 
1848 U.S. President James Polk turned on the first gas light 
 at the White House. 
1860 The HMS Warrior, Britain's first seagoing iron-hulled 
 warship, was launched. 
1890 The U.S. Seventh Cavalry massacred over 400 men, women 
 and children at Wounded Knee Creek, SD. This was the last 
 major conflict between Indians and U.S. troops. 
1895 The Jameson Raid from Mafikeng into Transvaal, which 
 attempted to overthrow Kruger's Boer government, started. 
1911 Sun Yat-sen became the first president of a republican 
 China. 
1934 Japan renounced the Washington Naval Treaty of 1922 
 and the London Naval Treaty of 1930. 
1940 During World War II, Germany began dropping incendiary 
 bombs on London. 
1952 The first transistorized hearing aid was offered for 
 sale by Sonotone Corporation. 
1975 A bomb exploded in the main terminal of New York's 
 LaGuardia Airport. 11 people were killed. 
1986 The Biltmore Hotel in Coral Gables, FL, reopened for business 
 after eighteen years and $47 million expended on restoration. 
1989 Following Hong Kong's decision to forcibly repatriate some 
 Vietnamese refugees, thousands of Vietnamese 'boat people' 
 battled with riot police. 
1996 The Guatemalan government and leaders of the leftist 
 Guatemalan National Revolutionary Union signed a peace accord 
 in Guatemala City, ending a civil war that had lasted 36 years. 
1997 Hong Kong began killing 1.25 million chickens, the entire 
 population, for fear of the spread of 'bird flu'. 
1998 Khmer Rouge leaders apologized for the 1970s genocide in 
 Cambodia that claimed 1 million lives. 
2014  smiled.


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Decrapifier 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Sunday, December 28

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida driver trying to impersonate a cop
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1869 William E. Semple, of Mt. Vernon, OH, patented an 
 acceptable chewing gum. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The United States Congress, like a lot of rich people, lives in two houses. --- John Green ______________________________________________________ It was their fifth anniversary, and Sandra and Michael had just returned from the movies. Sandra was feeling romantic. "Will you love me when my hair has turned to silver?" she crooned. "Why not?" Michael grunted. "Didn't I love you through hundred and fourteen other shades?" ______________________________________________________ Once there was a little boy that lived in the country. They had to use an outhouse, and the little boy hated it because it was hot in the summer and cold in the winter and stank all the time. The outhouse was sitting on the bank of a creek and the boy determined that one day he would push that outhouse into the creek. One day after a spring rain, the creek was swollen so the little boy decided today was the day to push the outhouse into the creek. So he got a large pole and started pushing. Finally, the outhouse toppled into the creek and floated away. That night his dad told him they were going to the woodshed after supper. Knowing that meant a spanking, the little boy asked why. Dad replied, "Someone pushed the outhouse into the creek today. It was you, wasn't it son?" The boy answered "Yes father". Then he thought a moment and said, "Dad, I read in school today that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree and didn't get into trouble because he told the truth." The dad replied, "Well, son, George Washington's father wasn't in the cherry tree." ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to James Buck, 23 Spring Hill, Florida Florida driver impersonating officer had 'Let's Be Cops' DVD Deputies arrested a driver and charged him with impersonating an officer after he allegedly tried pulling over a motorist that almost collided with his car on Christmas night. Hernando County sheriff's deputies got a call from someone saying that a reckless driver in an SUV nearly hit him in Spring Hill, Florida. After the near crash, the caller said the SUV driver chased him with flashing lights at a high speed and was trying to get him to pull over, according to WTSP. Deputies eventually caught up with James Buck and they discovered several items of law-enforcement paraphernalia. Affixed to the 23-year-old's SUV was a sticker saying "Department of Defense registered vehicle," a police interceptor emblem often seen on official patrol cars and accessories like L.E.D. lights and a siren or public address speaker. A shield-style badge was hanging from his rearview mirror and another was in Buck's wallet, deputies said. Buck allegedly told deputies that he added the police lights and other faux law-enforcement gear to his truck so "no one would mess with him," according to WESH. It's possible that Buck has criminally bad taste in movies too. Deputies said they found a "Let's Be Cops" DVD inside his truck. The 2014 buddy-cop flick stars Damon Wayans, Jr. and Jake Johnon as two wannabe Los Angeles policemen. It was poorly received by critics. Buck was charged with one count of fraud of impersonating a law enforcement officer and remained in jail on Friday afternoon, according to Hernando County sheriff's office records. Tech Support Pits From: Susan Re: Decrapifier Dear Webby Hello again, I was reading in a computer magizine's list of '20 downloads you can't do without'...CCleaner is the first on the list. (I got that years ago after you recommended it) The next on the list is called PC De-Crapyfier (also free). I am curious but would appreciate your oppinion on this download. Where do I get it without a bunch of bad stuff added? Thank you. Susan Dear Susan Most new machines come with all kinds of crap pre-loaded. In addition to that, as you seem to have noticed, many programs come with undesired extras thrown in as payload. Decrapifier gets rid of all that crap. You can get it without ANY payload right from the people who created it at http://www.pcdecrapifier.com/download You will be surprised at all the crap it finds on your computer. It is quite civilized. First it makes a restore point, then it shows you lists of stuff. If you have never used it, or not used it for years, put a checkmark on it for removal. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Saving Leftover Egg Yolks or Whites With all the holiday cooking, there is bound to be some that use only half the egg. I have one now that used only 6 whites. Rather then wasting them or scrambling to make some other recipe, you may save either your white or yolks separately in individual ice cube trays. Whites are fine as is but you need to add a little sugar OR salt to your yolks before freezing. I use salt since it's used in so many recipes. Then just pop them out and let them defrost when you need them! They keep for at least three months. Happy Baking! By Dee [186] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ Thanks to Arvid for this report: I decided to stop worrying about my wife's driving and take advantage of it. I got one of those bumper stickers that say, "How's my driving?" and put a 900 number on it. At 50 cents a call, I've been making about $38 a week. ______________________________________________________ "So, what's the matter? I thought you just got back from a nice relaxing fishing trip with your husband." "Oh, everything went wrong: First he said I talked so loud I would scare the fish. Then he said I was using the wrong bait; and then that I was reeling in too soon. "All that might have been all right; but then, to make matters worse, I ended up catching twelve fish and he caught none!"


Food Safety

Today in 
1065 Westminster Abbey was consecrated under Edward the Confessor. 
1694 Queen Mary II of England died after five years of joint rule 
 with her husband, King William III. 
1836 Mexico's independence was recognized by Spain. 
1869 William E. Semple, of Mt. Vernon, OH, patented an 
 acceptable chewing gum. 
1877 John Stevens applied for a patent for his flour-rolling mill, 
 which boosted production by 70%. 
1879 In Dundee, Scotland the central portion of the Tay Bridge 
 collapsed as a train was passing over it. 75 people were killed. 
1908 An earthquake killed over 75,000 at Messina in Sicily. 
1912 The first municipally-owned street cars were used on the 
 streets of San Francisco, CA. 
1917 The New York Evening Mail published a facetious essay by 
 H.L. Mencken on the history of bathtubs in America. 
1937 The Irish Free State became the Republic of Ireland when a new 
 constitution established the country as a sovereign state under 
 the name of Eire. 
1945 The U.S. Congress officially recognized the "Pledge of Allegiance." 
1964 Initial filming of the movie "Dr. Zhivago" began on location near 
 Madrid, Spain. The movies total running time is 197 minutes. 
1973 Alexander Solzhenitsyn published "Gulag Archipelago," an expose 
 of the Soviet prison system. 
1981 Elizabeth Jordan Carr, the first American test-tube baby, was 
 born in Norfolk, VA. 
1982 Nevell Johnson Jr. was mortally wounded by a police officer 
 in a Miami video arcade. The event set off three days of race 
 related disturbances that left another man dead. 
1989 Alexander Dubcek, who had been expelled from the Communist 
 Party in 1970, was elected speaker of the Czech parliament. 
1991 Nine people died in a rush to get into a basketball game 
 at City College in New York. 
1995 Pressure from German prosecutors investigating pornography 
 forced CompuServe to set a precedent by blocking access to 
 sex-oriented newsgroups on the Internet for its customers. 
2000 U.S. District Court Judge Matsch held a hearing to ensure 
 that confessed Oklahoma City bomber Timothy McVeigh understood 
 that he was dropping his appeals. McVeigh said that he wanted 
 an execution date set but wanted to reserve the right to seek 
 presidential clemency. 
2014  smiled.


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Chrome tabs slowing everything down 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, December 27

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an

Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1978 Spain adopted a new constitution and became a democracy 
 after 40 years of dictatorship. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
When a man says he approves of something in principle, it means he hasn't the slightest intention of putting it into practice. --- Otto von Bismarck (1815 - 1898) ______________________________________________________ >From N.W. I was taking a shower when my 2 year old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few shots.They came out so well that I had copies made and included one with each of our Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically, and suggesting I take a closer look. Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to my son, I had captured my reflection in the mirror wearing nothing but a camera! - Name Withheld ______________________________________________________ My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget. ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture Beehive ginger (Zingiber spectabile) ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jared Kreft, 30, Wausau, Wisconsin Wisconsin perv arrested for performing oral sex on horse A man in Wausau, Wisconsin, is facing bestiality charges after admitting he performed oral sex on a horse. Jared Kreft, 30, was arrested last Wednesday after deputies in Marathon County responded to a call about strange goings-on in a Wausau barn, according to TheNorthwestern.com. When they arrived, they saw Kreft near a horse wearing a face mask, black jacket and blue wind pants with holes cut in the areas of the crotch and butt. The suspect also had a marijuana pipe and a jar of petroleum jelly in his possession, according to court documents. Police said Kreft allegedly admitted that he had been performing oral sex on the horse in the barn, which came about after viewing "horse pornography," according to the Metro. Deputies searched Kreft's apartment in the city of Wausau, and allegedly found a small amount of marijuana, the Wausau Daily Herald reports. Kreft was charged with sexual gratification with an animal sex organ, possession of drug paraphernalia, possession of marijuana as a repeat offender and bail jumping, according to court records. He remains in Marathon County Jail, unable to post a $2,000 bond, WSAU.com reports. He is due in court Tuesday afternoon. Tech Support Pits From: Mathilda Re: Chrome tabs slowing everything down Dear Webby Lately my Windows has been getting really slow and sluggish, especially when I got a bunch of tabs open in Chrome. Yeah, I am a Taurus and a packrat, and usually have a bunch of tabs open, to get back to them later. Is there a way to deal with that, without manualy putting each URL into a spreadsheet? Thanks Mathilda Dear Mathilda You are not the only Taurus out there, and there is indeed a program made just for us. It is called OneTab. It puts a little blue funnel icon to the right of the address bar. You hit that, and all the open tabs vanish. Instead you have one tab called OneTab. Hit that, and there are all your previously open tabs, clickable to open when needed. You get it free at One Tab When you hit the funnel tab you see all your tabs, clickable. You can sort them by dragging a tab up or down. You can even upload the tabs by clicking "Share as a Web Page", and then send the secret URL of the generated page to friends or to your home machine. Plus a few more nifty tricks at the far right top, like Export and Import. OneTab even lists the tabs from separate windows nicely separated. I can highly recommend it! OneTab is also available for FireFox, not just Chrome, and they have a version for Mac too. Check http://www.one-tab.com/ Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Keeping Dog Hair Out of the Drain Bathe you dog in the tub? Catch his hair before it clogs the drain. Save the netted bags that potatoes and onions come in. Scrunch one up tightly and stick it down into the drain before letting the water out. All of the dog hair will collect around the top of it. Then, just toss it in the trash. By jean99 [6] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ Judi was almost crazy with her three kids. She complained to her best friend, "They're driving me nuts. Such pests, they give me no rest and I'm half-way to the nut hatch." "What you need is a playpen to separate the kids from yourself," her friend said. So Judi bought a playpen. A few days later, her friend called to ask how things were going. "Superb! I can't believe it," Judi said. "I get into that pen and I can answer all of my email before the first one climbs over it!" ______________________________________________________ Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Jack's mini van and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night. "I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house." "Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light." The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing. About nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend. He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up North, 9 months ago?" "Yes, I do." "Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?" "Yes," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out. "I have to admit that I did." "And did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name, and give her my business card?" Bob's face turned red and he said, "Yeah, sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did. Why do you ask?" "She just died and left me everything." ______________________________________________________ Four strangers traveled together in the same compartment of a European train. Two men and two women faced each other. One woman was a very wealthy and sophisticated 75-year-old lady who was decked out in the finest of furs and jewelry. Next to her sat a beautiful young woman, nineteen years old, who looked like something right off the cover of a fashion magazine. Across from the older lady was a man in his late-forties who was a highly decorated Sergeant Major in the Army. And next to the Sergeant Major sat a young private fresh out of boot camp. As these four strangers traveled, they talked and chatted about trivial things until they entered an unlighted tunnel, and there they sat in complete darkness and total silence, until the sound of a distinct kiss broke the silence; following the kiss a loud slap could be heard throughout the cabin. In the ensuing period of silence the four strangers sat quietly with their own thoughts. The older lady was thinking, "Isn't it wonderful that even in this permissive day and age there are still young women who have a little self-respect and dignity?" The young woman, shaking her head and greatly puzzled, asked herself, "Why in the world would any man in his right mind want to kiss an old fossil like that when I'm sitting here?" The Sergeant Major, rubbing his sore face, was outraged that any woman could ever think that a man in his position would try to sneak a kiss in the dark. And the private, grinning from ear to ear, was thinking, "What a crazy and mixed up world this is when a private can kiss the back of his hand and then smack a Sergeant Major in the face and get away with it!"


Food Safety

Today in 
1703 The Methuen Treaty was signed between Portugal and England, 
 giving preference to the import of Portuguese wines into England. 
1831 Charles Darwin set out on a voyage to the Pacific aboard 
 the HMS Beagle. Darwin's discoveries during the voyage helped 
 him form the basis of his theories on evolution. 
1845 Dr. Crawford Williamson Long used anesthesia for childbirth 
 for the first time. The event was the delivery of his own child 
 in Jefferson, GA. 
1900 Carrie Nation staged her first raid on a saloon at the 
 Carey Hotel in Wichita, KS. She broke each and every one of 
 the liquor bottles that could be seen. 
1927 Leon Trotsky was expelled from the Communist Party. 
1949 Queen Juliana of the Netherlands granted sovereignty to 
 Indonesia after more than 300 years of Dutch rule. 
1951 In Cincinnati, OH, a Crosley automobile, with a 
 steering wheel on the right side, became the first vehicle 
 of its kind to be placed in service for mail delivery. 
1965 The BP oil rig Sea Gem capsized in the North Sea, with 
 the loss of 13 lives. 
1978 Spain adopted a new constitution and became a democracy 
 after 40 years of dictatorship. 
1979 Soviet forces seized control of Afghanistan. Babrak Karmal 
 succeeded President Hafizullah Amin, who was overthrown 
 and executed. 
1985 Palestinian guerrillas opened fire inside the Rome and 
 Vienna airports. A total of twenty people were killed, 
 including five of the attackers, who were slain by police 
 and security personnel. 
1985 Dian Fossey, an American naturalist, was found murdered 
 at a research station in Rawanda. 
1992 The U.S. shot down an Iraqi fighter jet during what the 
 Pentagon described as a confrontation between a pair of Iraqi 
 warplanes and U.S. F-16 jets in U.N.-restricted airspace 
 over southern Iraq. 
1996 Muslim fundamentalist Taliban forces retook the strategic 
 air base of Bagram, solidifying their buffer zone around 
 Kabul, the Afghanistan capital. 
1997 In Northern Ireland, Billy Wright was assassinated. He was 
 imprisoned as a Protestant paramilitary leader. 
2001 U.S. President George W. Bush granted China permanent 
 normal trade status with the United States. 
2002 North Korea ordered U.N. nuclear inspectors to leave the 
 country and said that it would restart a laboratory capable 
 of producing plutonium for nuclear weapons. 
2002 In Chechnya, at least 40 people were killed when suicide 
 bombers attacked the administartion of Grozny.
2014  smiled.


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DVD player for W8 and W8.1 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, December 26
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Idaho batman with warrants 
drawing the attention of the cops
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1865 The coffee percolator was patented by James H. Mason. 
1898 Marie and Pierre Curie discovered radium.  
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The reverse side also has a reverse side. --- Japanese Proverb The more original a discovery, the more obvious it seems afterwards. --- Arthur Koestler (1905 - 1983) ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Ann for this story: I wanted a haircut and phoned a salon early for an appoint- ment but was told customers were taken on a walk-in basis only. On Saturday I got there by 9 a.m. and there were already ten people waiting. I drove to another salon, but it was booked solid. Still another had no openings. The situation seemed hopeless, so I went home. My husband greeted me at the door. "That was fast," he said cheerfully. "Your hair looks great!" ______________________________________________________ The heaviest element known to science is Managerium. This element has no protons or electrons, but has a nucleus made up of 1 neutron, 2 vice-neutrons, 5 junior vice-neutrons, 25 assistant vice-neutrons, and 125 junior assistant vice- neutrons all going round in circles. Managerium has a half-life of three years, at which time it does not decay but institutes a series of reviews leading to reorganization. Its molecules are held together by means of the exchange of tiny particles known as morons. ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Andrew Michael Christenson, 24, Pocatello, Idaho Cops arrest batman on outstanding warrant Late Saturday evening, cops in Pocatello, Idaho received a call that suspicious subjects “dressed as Batman and Superman were attempting entry into a residence.” When cops later approached the pair, they claimed to be looking for a party, according to police. Upon further questioning, officers determined that Batman-- Andrew Michael Christenson--had an active arrest warrant. “The Dark Knight was taken into custody and incarcerated,” cops reported. Seen above, the 24-year-old Christenson was arrested and booked into the Bannock County jail, where he was photographed sans mask. No charges were filed against Superman. Tech Support Pits From: Nina Re: Play DVD on W8.1 Dear Webby My not very bright husband traded in my W7 computer for a new one with W8.1. Yuck! Worst of all, it does not play music and games off DVDs! He is not going to hear the end of that anytime soon! Is there a way around that? Nina Dear Nina Yes, there is. You are not the only one upset about that, but there is a very popular program called VLC, that takes care of that. It does a much better job of it than MediaPlayer did even in W7. The only downside is the myriad of options in it. Do you want Surround Sound for 7 speakers or for 5, or just two? And so on. It is usable with the default settings, but you can tweak it to perfection if you read the instructions. You can download it free from VideoLan #download Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Hot Dog Bun Garlic Toast One night I realized I had forgotten to buy garlic bread for our dinner. Too late for a trip to the store. I realized I had some extra hot dog buns though, and decided I could improvise. The improvising turned out well and I haven't bought pre-made garlic bread since. Not only are they tasty, but this costs way less since hot dog buns are so cheap. Enjoy! :) Approximate Time: Around 14 minutes Yield: As many as you like Ingredients: hot dog buns butter or margarine salt powdered Parmesan cheese Italian seasoning garlic powder Steps: Split as many hot dog buns in half as you like. split in half Spread a generous amount of butter or margarine on each. spread with butter or margarine Sprinkle generous amounts of salt, Parmesan cheese, Italian seasoning, and garlic powder on each buttered half. butter and seasonings addd Bake in a 450 degree F oven for about 13 minutes or until golden brown. Enjoy! finished Source: Self By melissa [53] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: Because he's a longtime Harley rider, my grandfather looks at everything from a biker's perspective. I once gave him a haircut and got carried away. He looked at the pile of gray hair on the floor, smiled and said, "You cut off half the chrome!" ______________________________________________________ My 50-something friend Nancy and I decided to introduce her mother to the magic of the Internet. Our first move was to access the popular "Ask Jeeves" site, and we told her it could answer any question she had. Nancy's mother was very skeptical, but finally typed in a question: "How is aunt Nellie doing?


Food Safety

Today in 
1620 The Pilgrim Fathers landed at New Plymouth, MA, to 
 found Plymouth Colony, with John Carver as Governor. 
1776 The British suffered a major defeat in the Battle of 
 Trenton during the American Revolutionary War. 
1865 The coffee percolator was patented by James H. Mason. 
1898 Marie and Pierre Curie discovered radium. 
1908 Texan boxer "Galveston Jack" Johnson knocked out Tommy 
 Burns in Sydney, Australia, to become the first black boxer 
 to win the world heavyweight title. 
1917 During World War I, the U.S. government took over operation 
 of the nation's railroads. 
1921 The Catholic Irish Free State became a self-governing 
 dominion of Great Britain. 
1941 Winston Churchill became the first British prime minister 
 to address a joint meeting of the U.S. Congress. 
1943 The German battlecruiser Scharnhorst was sunk in the 
 North Sea, during the Battle of North Cape. 
1947 Heavy snow blanketed the Northeast United States, burying 
 New York City under 25.8 inches of snow in 16 hours. The 
 severe weather was blamed for about 80 deaths. 
1956 Fidel Castro attempted a secret landing in Cuba to 
 overthrow the Batista regime. All but 11 of his supporters 
 were killed. 
1991 The Soviet Union's parliament formally voted the country 
 out of existence. 
1995 Israel turned dozens of West Bank villages over to the 
 Palestinian Authority. 
1996 Six-year-old beauty queen JonBenet Ramsey was found 
 beaten and strangled in the basement of her family's home 
 in Boulder, CO. 
1998 Iraq announced that it would fire on U.S. and British 
 warplanes that patrol the skies over northern and southern Iraq. 
2002 The first cloned human baby was born. The announcement was 
 made the December 27 by Clonaid. 
2004 Under the Indian Ocean, a 9.0 magnitude earthquake sent 
 500-mph waves across the Indian Ocean and Bay of Bengal. The 
 tsunami killed at least 283,000 people in a dozen countries, 
 including Sri Lanka, Indonesia, Sumatra, Thailand and India.
2014  smiled.


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Office starter renewal nagger 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Thursday, December 25



Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Louisiana Woman Nabbed For Trying To "Forcefully" 
Steal Shoes Off 11-Year-Old Boy's Feet
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1223 St. Francis of Assisi assembled one of the first 
 Nativity scenes, in Greccio, Italy. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature. --- Tom Robbins (1936 - ) ______________________________________________________ In the office where I work, there is a constant battle between our technical-support director and customer-service personnel over the room temperature, which is usually too low. The frustrated director, trying to get us to understand his position, announced one afternoon, "We need to keep the temperature below seventy-five degrees or the computers will overheat." Thinking that this was just another excuse, one of my shivering colleagues retorted, "Yeah right. So how did they keep the computers from overheating before there was air conditioning." ______________________________________________________ A guy goes to the doctor due to a hangnail. He walks in, tells the nurse what is wrong and she immediately tells him: "Go into the cubicle on the left and take off all your clothes. The doctor will be with you shortly." Wondering why this problem would require one to undress, he nontheless complies. After a few minutes, he becomes aware someone is in the cubicle next to his, separated only by a curtain. He peeks and there is another guy standing there undressed. He attracts the man's attention, then asks "Why do you suppose that nurse told me to take off all my clothes? I only have a hangnail?" The other man replied, "No idea, I'm just the UPS man trying to deliver a package." ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture AfterTheChristmasParty ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Chessly Brimberry, 36, Louisiana Louisiana Woman Nabbed For Trying To Forcefully Steal Shoes Off 11-Year-Old Boy's Feet Chessly Brimberry, a Louisiana woman, 36, is jailed after allegedly trying to “forcefully” steal the shoes off an 11-year-old boy. Following Saturday afternoon’s attempted theft, cops arrested Brimberry based on a description provided by the young victim. After being collared, Brimberry “stated she could not believe she was being arrested for trying to take shoes from an 11 year old kid,” according to a probable cause affidavit. Police noted that Brimberry’s blood alcohol content was measured at more than three times the legal limit for motorists (though the affidavit does not indicate that Brimberry was driving). While being booked into jail, Brimberry reportedly told a cop, “When I see you I will kill you.” She also twice tried to run out of the jail, investigators noted. Pictured above, Brimberry is locked up in lieu of $7500 bond. Brimberry was charged with attempted robbery and public intimidation. The affidavit does not disclose what kind of shoes she wrestled off the child. Tech Support Pits From: Bev Re: MS Office nagger Dear Webby I have windows 7 with Chrome and use Open Office. I've been getting a notice to update Microsoft office starter 2010. Should I do it and do I need it? Thanks once again for your help. bevtank Dear Bev Difficult to say from this distance whether that is a scam or whether it is Microsoft whining about you not buying their stuff. Some people would probably consider that the same. Since you got open Office, you don't need their starter. Just ignore it. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Hot Dog Bun Garlic Toast One night I realized I had forgotten to buy garlic bread for our dinner. Too late for a trip to the store. I realized I had some extra hot dog buns though, and decided I could improvise. The improvising turned out well and I haven't bought pre-made garlic bread since. Not only are they tasty, but this costs way less since hot dog buns are so cheap. Enjoy! :) Approximate Time: Around 14 minutes Yield: As many as you like Ingredients: hot dog buns butter or margarine salt powdered Parmesan cheese Italian seasoning garlic powder Steps: Split as many hot dog buns in half as you like. split in half Spread a generous amount of butter or margarine on each. spread with butter or margarine Sprinkle generous amounts of salt, Parmesan cheese, Italian seasoning, and garlic powder on each buttered half. butter and seasonings addd Bake in a 450 degree F oven for about 13 minutes or until golden brown. Enjoy! finished Source: Self By melissa [53] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ >From Ed "The first thing I did after being hired as the director of learning technology at a high school was to change the sign outside my door -- the one that had my name followed by the acronym D.O.L.T." ______________________________________________________ Three tourists climbed up the tower with London's Big Ben and decided to throw their watches off the top, run down the stairs and try to catch them before they hit the ground. The first tourist threw his watch but heard it crash before the had taken three steps. the second threw his watch and made only two steps before hearing his watch shatter. The third tourist threw his watch off the tower, went down the stairs, bought a snack at a shop up the street and walked slowly back to Big Ben in time to catch the watch." How did you do that?" asked one of his friends. "My watch is 20 minutes slow."


Silver Bells, a Christmas classic

Today in 
0800 Charlemagne was crowned first Holy Roman Emperor
 in Rome by Pope Leo III. 
1066 William the Conqueror was crowned king of England. 
1223 St. Francis of Assisi assembled one of the first 
 Nativity scenes, in Greccio, Italy. 
1776 Gen. George Washington and his troops crossed the 
 Delaware River for a surprise attack against Hessian 
 forces at Trenton, NJ. 
1818 "Silent Night" was performed for the first time, 
 at the Church of St. Nikolaus in Oberndorff, Austria. 
1868 U.S. President Andrew Johnson granted an unconditional 
 pardon to all persons involved in the Southern rebellion 
 that resulted in the Civil War. 
1914 During World War I, British and German troops observed 
 an unofficial truce and even playing football together 
 on the Western Front. 
1926 Hirohito became the emperor of Japan after the death 
 of his father Emperor Taisho. 
1941 Hong Kong surrendered to the Japanese. 
1962 The Department of Commerce Census Clock in Washington, 
 DC, recorded the U.S. population on this day as 188 M. 
1972 The Nicaraguan capital Managua was hit by an earthquake. 
 Over 10,000 people were killed. 
1979 The USSR invaded Afghanistan in a bid to halt civil war 
 and protect USSR interests. 
1989 Ousted Romanian President Nicolae Ceausescu and his wife, 
 Elena, were executed following a popular uprising. 
1989 Dissident playwright Vaclav Havel was elected president 
 of Czechoslovakia. 
1991 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev went on television 
 to announce his resignation as leader of a Communist superpower 
 that had already gone out of existence. 
2000 Over 300 people were killed and dozens were injured by fire 
 at a Christmas party in the Chinese city of Luoyang. The 
 incident occurred at the Dongdu Disco.
2014  smiled.


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Revert to old version of Skype 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Wednesday, December 24



Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Man Pulled Gun Over "Missing" McDouble Burger
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1966 Luna 13 landed on the moon. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The main dangers in this life are the people who want to change everything - or nothing. --- Nancy Astor (1879 - 1964) To predict the behavior of ordinary people in advance, you only have to assume that they will always try to escape a disagreeable situation with the smallest possible expenditure of intelligence. --- Friedrich Nietzsche ______________________________________________________ I figured that at age seven it was inevitable for my son to begin having doubts about Santa Claus. Sure enough, one day he said, "Mom, I know something about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy." Taking a deep breath, I asked him, "What is that?" He replied, "They're all nocturnal." ______________________________________________________ My brother and his wife shared their apartment with a parakeet named "Nicky." The exterminator was scheduled to come, so my sister-in-law put Nicky in the bedroom and hung a sign on the door: "Please skip this room. Do not open door. Pet flies." The exterminator came. On his receipt he wrote this comment: "Finished all of the apartment except room with the pet flies." ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ reported by Don An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Demetri Johnson, 21 Nashville Tennessee Man Pulled Gun Over Missing McDouble Burger Tennessee cops are hunting for a McDonald’s patron who pulled a gun on restaurant workers after complaining that his drive-thru order was short a McDouble cheeseburger. According to police, Demetri Johnson, 21, placed an order early last Thursday at a McDonald’s in Nashville. After receiving his food, he pulled away from the restaurant’s drive-thru lane. Johnson, pictured at right, soon returned to the eatery “and complained that he was missing a McDouble cheeseburger,” cops reported. A McDonald’s manager asked Johnson to park his car and promised “he would bring out the missing item.” Detectives allege that after waiting for a few minutes, Johnson entered the restaurant with a gun in his hand. After racking the weapon, he demanded that his McDouble order be fixed. “He and the three women with him also demanded fresh fries and new soft drinks,” cops added. The quartet departed after receiving their food. Johnson is being sought on a felony aggravated assault charge. According to court records, Johnson has previously been arrested for weapons possession and theft. Whether the original hamburger was already missing or not, won't have any effect when it comes to the sentencing for armed robbery. Tech Support Pits From: Aesop Re: Old Skype Dear Webby I don't like the new version of Skype at all. What are those bozos smoking? Whatever it is, it makes them look stupid. Is there a way to go back to a decent version? Thanks Aesop Dear Aesop Try Skype 6.20. That site might be VERY busy. If it is too busy, try Skype 6.20.0.104 I am using the first of those two. Keep in mind that after you have had one of the bad versions like 6.22 or later installed, it will try to re-install that when you are not watching, for example during a reboot after updating something else. The result of course is quite obvious when you see the nuisance pufter design. Then you have to re-install 6.20 over top of it, again. They just like rubbing it in that you are the victim and they are the Queens Of Nuisance. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Almost Grandma's Applesauce My grandma recently passed away. She was the best cook in the world, anyone that knew her would tell you the same thing. One of her specialties was her applesauce. I have been fiddling with my recipe for quite some time, and this is finally "almost" just like Grandma's! This is shockingly quick to make, only cooks for 8-10 minutes. It tastes great still hot off the stove, you can also use any or all varieties of apples. I used what I had, red delicious, golden delicious, and Granny Smith. *This is a great way to use up those apples that you forgot about and are now less than perfect. Approximate Time: 10 minutes Yield: 7 Cups Ingredients: 15 smallish apples, any variety 2 cups water 3/4 cup white sugar 1 tsp cinnamon 1 tsp nutmeg Steps: Peel and quarter your apples, place them in a stock pot. Put water and spices in the pot. Bring to a boil, reduce to a simmer and cook for about 10 minutes. You will want to stir occasionally. Using a potato masher, push down on your mixture only a few times to break up the very large pieces. Leave it chunky, that's what Grandma did. It's better that way!:) It is wonderful eaten hot off the stove, also very good from the fridge, freezes well too. That is if you have enough left over to do so! Source: My Grandma By melissa [53] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ After booking my 80-year-old mother on a flight from Florida to Nevada, I called the airline to go over her needs. The representative listened patiently as I requested a wheelchair and an attendant for my mother because of her arthritis and impaired vision. My apprehension lightened a bit when the woman assured me that everything would be taken care of. I thanked her profusely. "Oh, you're welcome," she replied. I was about to hang up when she cheerfully asked, "And will your mother need a rental car?" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Millie for this story: As a new grandmother, I am very protective of my daughter Meredith's baby girl. One cool afternoon I dropped by to see my grandchild. Meredith and a friend had taken little Allison for a walk in her stroller and were just coming up the street. As soon as they reached me, I bent down to admire Allison and, in my fussiest voice, remarked, "Your little head is cold. You should have a hat on." My daughter looked knowingly at her friend and said, "You owe me ten bucks."


Silver Bells, a Christmas classic

Today in 
1814 The War of 1812 between the U.S. and Britain was ended
1818 Franz Gruber of Oberndorf, Germany composed the music for 
 "Silent Night" to words written by Josef Mohr. 
1851 A fire devastated the Library of Congress in Washington, 
 DC, destroying about 35,000 volumes. 
1865 Several veterans of the Confederate Army formed a private 
 social club in Pulaski, TN, called the Ku Klux Klan. 
1906 Reginald A. Fessenden became the first person to broadcast 
 a music program over radio, from Brant Rock, MA. 
1914 In World War I, the first air raid on Britain was made 
 when a German airplane dropped a bomb on the grounds of a 
 rectory in Dover. 
1943 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt appointed Gen. Dwight 
 D. Eisenhower supreme commander of Allied forces as part of 
 Operation Overlord. 
1944 A German submarine torpedoed the Belgian transport ship 
 S.S. Leopoldville with 2,235 soldiers aboard. About 800 
 American soldiers died. The soldiers were crossing the 
 English Channel to be reinforcements at the battle that 
 become known as the Battle of the Bulge. 
1948 The first completely solar-heated house became occupied 
 in Dover, MA. 
1951 Libya achieved independence as the United Kingdom of 
 Libya, under King Idris. 
1965 A meteorite landed on Leicestershire. It weighed 
 about 100lbs. 
1966 Luna 13 landed on the moon. 
1968 Three astronauts, James A. Lovell, William Anders and 
 Frank Borman, reached the moon. They orbited the moon 10 times 
 before coming back to Earth. Seven months later man first 
 landed on the moon. 
1979 Soviet troops invaded Afghanistan in support of the 
 country's Marxist government. 
1985 Fidel Castro, the Cuban president, announced that he 
 was now a non-smoker. 
1989 Ousted Panamanian ruler Manuel Noriega took refuge at 
 the Vatican's diplomatic mission in Panama City. 
1992 U.S. President George H.W. Bush pardoned former Defense 
 Secretary Caspar Weinberger and five others in the 
 Iran-Contra scandal. 
1997 Ilich Ramirez Sanchez, known as "Carlos the Jackal," 
 was sentenced by a French court to life in prison for the 
 1975 murders of two French investigators and a Lebanese. 
1998 At Disneyland in Anaheim, CA, a tourist was hit by a 
 piece of flying metal while waiting to board a ride. The 
 man's wife and a Disneyland employee were also injured. 
 Luan Phi Dawson died December 26th from his injuries. 
1999 An Indian Airlines plane was seized during a flight 
 from Katmandu, Nepal, to New Delhi. In Afghanistan, the 
 150 hostages were freed on December 31 after India 
 released three Kashmir militants from prison. 
2000 The "Texas 7," seven convicts that had escaped a Texas 
 prison, robbed a sports store in Irving, TX. The suspects 
 killed Officer Aubrey Hawkins, stole $70,000, 25 weapons 
 and clothing. The men had escaped on December 13.
2014  smiled.


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Microslop characters 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuesday, December 23

The Swedish Christmas Goat is still standing!
Check the Webcam

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida man arrested after killing a cop
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1942 Bob Hope agreed to entertain U.S. airmen in Alaska. 
 It was the first of the traditional Christmas shows. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that! --- Tom Lehrer (1928 - ) The greatest thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are moving. --- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe ______________________________________________________ In a cafeteria : "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria." (hand-written underneath) "Boots can eat anywhere they want." ______________________________________________________ A couple just started their Lamaze class and they were given an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand - to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant. The husband stood up and shrugged saying, "This doesn't feel so bad." The instructor then dropped a pen and asked the husband to pick it up. "You want me to pick up the pen as if I were pregnant, the way my wife would do it?" the husband asked. "Exactly," replied the instructor. To the delight of the other husbands, he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, pick up that pen for me and get me a coffee while you are up anyway." ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ reported by Don An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Marco Antonio Parilla Jr., 23 Tarpon Springs Florida Fugitive Kills Florida Cop A fugitive trying to evade an arrest warrant shot a Tampa-area police officer and then ran him over early Sunday, killing the officer, police said. Marco Antonio Parilla Jr., 23, crashed his car into a pole and another vehicle after running over Tarpon Springs officer Charles Kondek. Parilla was arrested on suspicion of first- degree murder. The shooting did not appear to have any connection to the ambush killings of two New York police officers a day earlier. Authorities said Kondek responded to a noise call around 2 a.m. at an apartment complex. Parilla was pounding on doors, looking for a neighbor who had "dimed him out" to police, authorities said. When Parilla saw Kondek, he fired multiple rounds at the officer, striking him once above his bullet-proof vest. "We know we have the right guy in custody," Pinellas County Sheriff Bob Gualtieri said. "This guy knew what he was doing, he killed a cop and he needs to be held accountable for that." According to the Florida Department of Corrections, Parilla served more than two years in prison for several offenses, including drug charges, and was released in March. He was listed as a fugitive for violating his probation. It wasn't immediately clear what the violation was. The sheriff said Parilla told investigators that when he saw the officer he "felt like a caged rat" and didn't want to return to prison. "I apologize to the family" of the officer, Parilla told media outlets while being escorted to jail. "That was not my intention." Kondek, 45, had been with the local force for 17 years. Originally from New York, Kondek previously served on the New York City Police Department for more than five years, authorities said. Kondek was the father of six children. Tech Support Pits From: Jim Re: Microslop in emails Dear Webby A good morning to you and hope for a Great Christmas for you. One "little" problem I have with my Eudora. Some of the mail I get is cluttered with ?? and not the quotation marks that should have been there, Ex: The lady says, “What’s it telling you now?” Is there a setting that will change this? Thanks in advance for you help. Jim Dear Jim That is Microslop When people use Microsoft WORD and have it set to use left and right leaning quotes to show they are some kind of secret pervert, then those non-ASCII characters show up as random weirdo symbols called Microslop in emails. Those non-ASCII characters are for printing only, not for email or web pages. There is a setting in WORD to change that, so that it does not use non-ASCII symbols. But they have to click that setting. It's the one about using "Smart Quotes". Nothing you can do on the recipient side. Just realize that the sender is some kind of secret weirdo, or clueless, and go on with life. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Beach Towel To Protect Pillow Hubby has oily skin and, being bald, he has no hair that absorbs at least some of the oil on his scalp. Changing the bed pillow case every day wasn't a big deal but I really didn't like the soiled pillows that became dirty and smelly. I bought several used beach towels at the Thrift Store and made them into pillow cases that I put over the pillow to protect it before slipping on the pretty top pillow case. I still change the top pillow case every day; the underneath towel pillow case is washed once a week and the pillow itself remains clean. I suppose this would work well too for those that have "sleeping sweat head". By Mina2184 [15] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ A Sunday School teacher asked her class, "Does anyone know what we mean by sins of omission?" A small girl replied, "Aren't those the sins we should have committed, but didn't?" ______________________________________________________ While a friend and I were visiting Annapolis, we noticed several students on their hands and knees assessing the courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand. "What are they doing?" I asked our tour guide. "Each year," he replied with a grin, "The upperclassmen ask the freshmen how many bricks it took to finish paving this courtyard." "So what's the answer?" my friend asked him when we were out of earshot of the freshmen. The guide replied, "One."


Icycles

Today in 
1788 Maryland voted to cede a 100-square-mile area for the 
 seat of the national government. About two-thirds of the area 
 became the District of Columbia. 
1823 The poem "A Visit from St. Nicholas" by Clement C. Moore 
 (" 'Twas the night before Christmas...") was published. 
1834 English architect Joseph Hansom patented his 'safety cab', 
 better known as the Hansom cab. 
1856 Ralph Collier was issued a U.S. patent for the first 
 rotary egg beater with rotating parts. 
1880 Thomas Edison incorporated the Edison Electric Light 
 Company of Europe. 
1888 Following a quarrel with Paul Gauguin, Dutch painter 
 Vincent Van Gogh cut off part of his own earlobe. 
1893 The Engelbert Humperdinck opera "Hansel und Gretel" 
 was first performed, in Weimar, Germany. 
1919 The first ship designed to be used as an ambulance for 
 the transport patients was launched. The hospital ship was 
 named USS Relief and had 515 beds. 
1941 During World War II, American forces on Wake Island 
 surrendered to the Japanese. 
1942 Bob Hope agreed to entertain U.S. airmen in Alaska. 
 It was the first of the traditional Christmas shows. 
1947 John Bardeen, Walter H. Brattain and William Shockley 
 invented the transistor. 
1948 Former Japanese premier Hideki Tojo and six other 
 Japanese war leaders were executed in Tokyo. They had been 
 found guilty of crimes against humanity. 
1953 Soviet secret police chief Lavrenti Beria and six of 
 his associates were shot for treason following a secret trial. 
1954 The Walt Disney movie "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea" 
1965 A 70-mph speed limit was introduced in Britain. 
1968 Eighty-two crewmembers of the U.S. intelligence ship 
 Pueblo were released by North Korea, 11 months after they 
 had been captured. 
1981 NASA approved a plan to continue the Voyager II spacecraft 
 on a trajectory that would take it within 66,000 miles of 
 Uranus on July 24, 1986. 
1986 The experimental airplane Voyager, piloted by Dick Rutan 
 and Jeana Yeager, completed the first non-stop, around-the-
 world flight without refueling as it landed safely at Edwards 
 Air Force Base in California. 
1987 Lynette "Squeaky" Fromme, serving a life sentence for 
 the attempted assassination of U.S. President Ford in 1975, 
 escaped from the Alderson Federal Prison for Women in West 
 Virginia. She was recaptured two days later. 
1989 Ousted Romanian President Nicolae Ceausescu and his wife, 
 Elena, were captured as they were attempting to flee their 
 country. 
1990 Elections in Yugoslavia ended, leaving four of its six 
 republics with non-Communist governments. 
1995 A fire in Dabwali, India, killed 540 people, including 
 170 children, during a year-end party being held near the 
 children's school. 
1995 The bodies of 16 members of the Solar Temple religious 
 sect were found in a clearing near Grenoble, France. 14 were 
 presumed shot by two people who then committed suicide. 
1997 Terry Nichols was convicted by a Denver jury on charges 
 of conspiracy and involuntary manslaughter in the 1995 
 federal building bombing in Oklahoma City. The bomb killed 
 168 people. 
1998 Guerrillas in south Lebanon fired dozens of rockets at 
 northern Israel.
2014  smiled.


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Sony Attack 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, December 22

Thank you, Roy!

A fiend sent me this recipe:
Baked French Toast, one pan instead of standing at the stove 
flipping bread while everybody else eats.
http://myfridgefood.com/recipes/breakfa ... nch-toast/

I don't think I am supposed to eat that, but it sure is 
tempting!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida man arrested after he says 
he lied about being shot 
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1895 German physicist Wilhelm Röntgen made the first X-ray, 
 of his wife's hand.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law? --- Dick Clark ______________________________________________________ A lady came to the hospital to visit a friend. She had not been in a hospital for several years and felt very ignorant about all the new technology. A technician followed her onto the elevator, wheeling a large, intimidating looking machine with tubes and wires and dials. "Boy, would I hate to be hooked up to that thing," she said. "So would I," replied the technician. "It's a floor-cleaning machine." ______________________________________________________ In California's Sonoma Valley, where vineyards cater to wine snobbery, a woman phoned the classified ad department of a newspaper. She offered for sale what sounded like "well-aged Caumeneur." The ad-taker was unfamiliar with that particular, wine, but was used to the infusion of French words into the local vocabulary. "Could you please spell that?" she asked. "You know," said the woman impatiently, "C-o-w M-a-n-u-r-e". ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture Canadian SOS ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ reported by Don An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Michael Weldon, 46 Ocala Florida Man arrested after he says he lied about being shot A man who showed up at a restaurant claiming he had been shot and that he apparently had killed the shooter was arrested by Ocala police on Friday for filing a false report. While 46-year-old Michael Weldon, who has an extensive criminal history, was being taken to the Marion County Jail by Officer Sean Young, he told the official he was just trying to have some fun and thought “he would get a sandwich from Applebee’s for his story.” His story was anything but funny to police, who had dispatched at least a dozen officers and Ocala Fire Rescue personnel to various areas investigating Weldon’s allegation that he had been shot. A waitress at the popular fast food chain told officers Weldon was standing in the patio section leaning against a table holding his side. Appearing to be in pain, the employee saw what appeared to be blood by Weldon’s feet. Asked if he was fine, Weldon told the woman he had been shot and showed her what looked like a bullet hole in his jacket. He then asked for some water and the employee told her manager, who called police. The manager said that when she talked with Weldon, he told her he was shot and was holding his right side. Weldon said he was tussling with another man in the woods near Sears and had to kill the man. He wouldn’t say why he killed the man or why he was shot. Officers, who arrived at the location and were quizzing Weldon, examined him and discovered he was not shot. He didn’t want to tell officers what happened, other than to say that “I took care of it, I don’t want to tell anybody,” according to the report. As he was being transported to Sears, he told an officer that he was “just having fun,” and told people at the bar that he was joking. Officers recovered betadine in Weldon’s pocket, which he allegedly used to make the appearance of blood. Officers searched the woods, which was clear, and checking his jacket, they found the hole was actually a burn from a cigarette. Court documents show Weldon has multiple convictions dating back to 2005 for offenses including battery, retail theft and disorderly conduct. Weldon was convicted of burglary of a structure and released just two months ago. Tech Support Pits From: Smurf Re: Attack on Sony Dear Webby I read that "US rejects North Korea offer to investigate Sony hack", and stands firm in it's allegations. Which seem to be routine blustering and bullshit. Hasn't it been established that the hack was caused with a worm, that might have been snuck into the Sony network by a discgruntled employee, or some dimwit, who wanted some utility, that came with a nasty payload? Smurf Dear Smurf Yes, you are right, as usual. North Korea probably got involved with gleefully spreading what the hackers dug out, AFTER the hackers had posted their harvest on the net. The worm, that let the hackers in and allowed them to export all kinds of sensitive data was most likely made in the USA or Russia, and is apparently in use by many hackers to snoop and break in wherever they can. It is not new and is a well documented worm and method. The better Anti-malware programs like McAfee and Malwarebytes protect you against it, but if some bozo gets impatient when Malwarebytes slows down a computer while it does a scan, and shuts it off, then that is like riding a motorcycle with the helmet hanging on the handdlebar. Kinda stooopid. However, we don't even know whether Sony DID have decent malware protection, or just a snooty IT department, that figured their own stuff was good enough. Fact is, that SMB worm let one or two hackers quietly sneak in and export tons of stuff without their IT department noticing it. It was NOT a big Denial-Of-Service attack by North Korea renting a Russian Botnet for $50,000 and battering down Sony's defenses. If that had been the case, the Sony IT department would have noticed it immediately, instead of reading in the news about stuff, that had been exported and published. Sure, North Korea was miffed about that movie, and it would be typical for them to take any credit for ANYTHING happening to Sony, but it is very unlikely, that they paid a hacker to go after Sony. They would be too paranoid about the hacker doing the same thing to them. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Add a Hershey's Kiss to Coffee Ugh! Trying to lose weight during the holidays? When you get that chocolate urge, put a Hershey's Kiss in the bottom of your coffee cup! Pour coffee over the Kiss and you will have great tasting coffee with VERY little calories! A Peppermint Kiss is great for the holidays! Source: Weight Watchers meeting 20 years ago! By Irishwitch [390] You can get generic Kisses, both Milk Chocolate and Dark Chocolate at the Bulk Barn for about $1.50 a pound. No fancy packaging, you just scoop them into a plastic bag. They are also the best source for spices. Their Smoked Sweet Paprika is top quality and incredibly cheap. They have, of course, also regular and hot paprika. Alltogether they have over 4000 different products. If you are in driving distance of a Bulk Barn, check them out! Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ Two priests were talking together and the older one said to the younger, "You know, when you came into church with all your new ideas, I had questions about how you were going to fit in and how well your ideas were going to work." "When you wanted to put bucket seats down in the front two rows of seats, I had my doubts. But now, at every mass, the seats are filled up with young people, so I have to agree that it was a good idea." "Then, when you wanted to jazz up the choir and we started singing newer, peppier songs, I was afraid it would offend the parishioners. Now, we have a lot of new, younger choir members, and the music seems to pick up the services a lot more than the old music. So, once again I have to agree that you were right! "But when you wanted to put in the drive-through confessional, I have to admit I thought you'd lost it. But now, at least, there are more people coming to confession than ever. I think you've come up with another good idea." "However, the neon sign out front that says, 'Toot 'n tell or go to hell', has got to go! ______________________________________________________ A teenaged boy with spiked hair, nose ring, and baggy clothes says to his friend, "I don't really like to dress like this, but it keeps my parents from making me go with them to visit Aunt Helen."


Candelabras

Today in 
1775 A Continental naval fleet was organized in the rebellious 
 American colonies under the command of Ezek Hopkins. 
1807 The U.S. Congress passed the Embargo Act, designed to 
 force peace between Britain and France by cutting off all 
 trade with Europe. 
1895 German physicist Wilhelm Röntgen made the first X-ray, 
 of his wife's hand. 
1910 U.S. Postal savings stamps were issued for the first 
 time. They were discontinued in 1914. 
1941 British Prime Minister Winston Churchill arrived in 
 Washington for a wartime conference with U.S. President 
 Franklin Roosevelt. 
1956 The last British and French forces evacuated Egypt. 
1961 James Davis became the first U.S. soldier to die in 
 Vietnam, while U.S. involvement was still limited to the 
 provision of military advisers. 
1989 Romania's hard-line Communist ruler, Nicolae Ceausescu, 
 was overthrown in a popular uprising. 
1991 The body of Lt. Col. William R. Higgins, an American 
 hostage murdered by his captors, was found along a highway 
 in Lebanon. 
1998 A unit of RJR Nabsico pled guilty to attempting to smuggle 
 cigarettes into Canada. 
2014  smiled.


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Sony Invasion 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Sunday, December 21

The web cam for the Gävle Goat in Sweden is at
http://www.visitgavle.se/sv/gavlebocken

The 43 foot tall goat has been burned down 25 times
in the past. This year it looks like they thoroughly
plastered it with snow and ice, and like it might survive.


Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida Duo's Phony Heart Attack 
Scheme Foiled

Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1945 U.S. Gen. George S. Patton died in Heidelberg, Germany, 
 of injuries from a car accident. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Autobiography is an unrivaled vehicle for telling the truth about other people. --- Philip Guedalla (1889 - 1944) ______________________________________________________ Our college just completed a new three-story building. While walking down a hall on the second floor, I overheard two students say, "I really like the skylights on the third floor." "Me too," remarked the second student. "I don't know why they didn't just put some on the second floor too." ______________________________________________________ My violin teacher was teaching a large group class. She showed them her violin and said, "This violin was made in the early 1800s." Someone in the class raised their hand and asked, "Did they make it specially for you?" ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Tarus Scott, 30, and Genard Dupree, 27 Lake Wales Florida Duo's Phony Heart Attack Scheme Foiled A Florida thief last week faked a heart attack inside a Walmart so that a male accomplice could walk out of the store with a shopping cart stuffed with toys, including a motorized Barbie Power Wheel, police report. While the diversion proved initially successful, the pair was arrested yesterday on grand theft charges when they were linked to the crime via surveillance footage. According to a Polk County Sheriff’s Office report, Tarus Scott, 30, and Genard Dupree, 27, entered the Lake Wales Walmart together and filled a cart with $369.94 in merchandise. As seen on the below store surveillance video, the men separated after the cart was loaded. As Scott moved toward the exit with the merchandise, Dupree dropped to the floor and clutched his chest. With Dupree doing his best Fred Sanford imitation, Scott walked past his sidekick. The fake heart attack, cops noted, “appeared to be done in an attempt to create a distraction long enough for Scott to exit the store, past all points of sale, without paying for the merchandise in the cart." Dupree’s heart trouble lasted 44 seconds before he was able to get to his feet and amble out of Walmart. He met up with Scott in the parking lot and the pair drove away in an SUV. A subsequent police review of surveillance footage resulted in the identification of Dupree and Scott. Dupree is currently on felony probation for theft, while Scott is an ex-con who was released from prison last year after serving about a decade for armed robbery. Pictured in the above mug shots, Dupree (left) and Scott are being held in the Polk County jail for felony grand theft. Tech Support Pits From: Otto Re: Server Message Block Dear Webby Surely there must have been more than just routine sloppiness that let the North Koreans into the Sony network! Sony is a pretty big and smart company! I realize the US Government won't do anything about it except for some lame rethoric from the White House, but what can we really do to avoid getting hacked by North Korea? Otto Dear Otto Sony did not get knocked over by a traditional Denial-Of-Service attack by a rented Russian Botnet. They are big enough and have enough talent on staff, that they probably could have fought that. Considering that they are a mostly Windows network, they would have eventually gotten knocked over, but that was not the case. They would have most definitely noticed a DOS attack, while it was in progress. We host some Human Rights servers for the East Block, and we get attacked quite frequently by Russian botnets of 50,000 or more machines. Attacks like that are about as sneaky and subtle as a forest fire. No way to ignore those! Sony did not realize that they had been hacked, until their files and emails appeared on the Internet. It was not till a month later, that they found out that they had been cleaned out with an SMB worm, that had gotten in through sloppiness, or possibly via a bought insider, who downloaded a nifty tool bar or gadget without considering the consequences. All I can do is repeat what I had written yesterday: If you use McAfee and Malwarebytes, and use common sense when it comes to downloading utilities and games, then you will be quite safe. If they don't get in, they can't hurt you. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Giftwrap Use colored masking tape instead of ribbon to wrap gifts. Colored Tape Instead of Ribbons By lnygaard [93] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ Thanks to Arnie for this story: I had an offer from a large company and they offered to fly me out to the meeting on business class. During the return flight we were given gourmet brownies and cookies. Not hungry, I decided to save them for later, so I placed them in a vomit bag. After the plane landed I got up to leave and a stewardess approached me. She asked, "Sir, would you like for me to dispose of that for you?" I said, "No thanks, I'm saving it for my kids." ______________________________________________________ A stewardess approached a gentleman who was voicing his complains rather loudly. "Yes, Sir?" "I want to complain about this airline. Every time I fly, I get the same seat, I can't see the in-flight movie, and there are no window blinds, so I can't sleep." "Captain, shut up and pretend to be busy. "


Candelabras

Today in 
1620 The "Mayflower", and its passengers, pilgrims from England, 
 landed at Plymouth Rock, MA. 
1898 Scientists Pierre and Marie Curie discovered the 
 radioactive element radium. 
1913 Arthur Wynne published a new "word-cross" puzzle in the 
 "New York World" in England. The name was later changed to 
 "crossword." 
1925 Eisenstein's film "Battleship Potemkin" was first 
 shown in Moscow. 
1937 Walt Disney debuted the first, full-length, animated 
 feature in Hollywood, CA. The movie was "Snow White and the 
 Seven Dwarfs." 
1944 Horse racing was banned in the United States until 
 after the end of World War II. 
1945 U.S. Gen. George S. Patton died in Heidelberg, Germany, 
 of injuries from a car accident. 
1948 The state of Eire (formerly the Irish Free State) 
 declared its independence. 
1958 Charles de Gaulle was elected to a seven-year term as 
 the first president of the Fifth Republic of France. 
1968 Apollo 8 was launched on a mission to orbit the moon. 
 The craft landed safely in the Pacific Ocean on December 27. 
1971 The U.N. Security Council chose Kurt Waldheim to succeed 
 U Thant as secretary-general. 
1978 Police in Des Plaines, IL, arrested John W. Gacy Jr. 
 and began unearthing the remains of 33 men and boys that Gacy 
 was later convicted of killing. 
1988 270 people were killed when Pan Am Boeing 747 exploded 
 over Lockerbie, Scotland, due to a terrorist attack. 
1991 Eleven of the 12 former Soviet republics proclaimed the 
 birth of the Commonwealth of Independent States. 
1995 The city of Bethlehem passed from Israeli to Palestinian 
 control. 
1998 A Chinese court sentenced two dissidents to long prison 
 terms for attempting to organize an opposition party. A third 
 man was sentenced to 12 years in prison on December 22, 1998. 
1998 The first vaccine for Lyme disease was approved. 
2001 The Islamic militant group Hamas released a statement that 
 said it was suspending suicide bombings and mortar attacks in Israel. 
2002 Larry Mayes was released after spending 21 years in prison 
 for a rape that he maintained that he never committed. He was 
 the 100th person in the U.S. to be released after DNA tests 
 were performed. 
2014  smiled.


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Cyberalert 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Sturday, December 20

Thank you, Jan!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Pennsylvania Jerk, who groped drive-thru worker at McDonald's
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1820 The state of Missouri enacted legislation to tax 
 bachelors between the ages of 21-50 for being unmarried. 
 The tax was $1 a year. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Most of the change we think we see in life is due to truths being in and out of favor. --- Robert Frost (1874 - 1963) ______________________________________________________ A Sunday School teacher is telling her class the story of Jonah and the whale. The childrenís eyes get bigger and bigger as she tells them that Jonah was swallowed by the whale and sat in its stomach for three days and three nights before God answered his prayer and the whale expelled Jonah onto dry land. When she finishes the story the teacher asks, "Now children, what does this story teach us?" There's a long pause. Finally, a six-year-old boy exclaims: "You can't keep a good man down!" ______________________________________________________ A ThirdAger is getting his annual physical when the doctor notices several dark, ugly bruises on the man's shins. "Do you play hockey, soccer or another physical sport?" the doctor asks. "No," says the man. "I play bridge with my wife." ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Michael Jenkins 23 Upper Darby Pennsylvania Jerk groped drive-thru worker at McDonald's A Pennsylvania man was charged yesterday with an assortment of crimes after he allegedly reached into a McDonald’s drive-thru window and fondled a female employee working the night shift. According to a probable cause affidavit, Michael Jenkins, 23, and another man walked up early Thursday morning to the eatery in Upper Darby, a Philadelphia suburb. Jenkins, seen at right, reportedly flirted with the 31-year- old McDonald’s employee, and offered to pick her up later that day for a date. The worker, police reported, ignored Jenkins. Before departing the window, Jenkins reached in and grabbed the woman’s breast, cops say. After the victim shut the window, she spoke with a McDonald’s manager who then called 911. Jenkins went from the fast food restauarant to a nearby bar, where he was arrested by cops. Jenkins was charged with indecent assault, public drunkenness, harassment, and disorderly conduct. He was later freed on an unsecured $30,000 bond. When Jenkins was confronted by an officer, he admitted to being at the McDonald’s, according to the affidavit. “Yea I am a ladies man,” Jenkins told the cop. “That girl over there wants me,” he added, referring to the McDonald’s employee. Tech Support Pits From: Robert Re: Cyberalert Dear Webby The National Cyber Awareness System has sent out an alert about a Server Message Block (SMB) Worm Tool, partrs ofr which had apparently been used to hack Sony. The whole report is way too technical for me, but I gather that it affects Windows Servers and Windows machines, and that the details are at https://www.us-cert.gov/ncas/tips/ST13-003 Can you tran slate their recommendations so that I can understand them? Thanks Robert Dear Robert If you use McAfee and Malwarebytes, and use common sense when it comes to downloading utilities and games, then you will be quite safe. Sony apparently used a Windows network instead of Linux or UNIX, and once that Worm Tool was inside, they lost control without even noticing it. That does not mean all Windows networks are automatically vulnerable. Keep in mind, your little home network is not going to be targeted by North Korea, and the only way your home network will get compromised, is if you or a family member downloads some stuff, that includes a free bonus tool bar or similar trojan horse. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Decorating: I really like to create decorations using mostly natural items that I find in our rural community all year. It fits so well with our old home. They are beautiful, natural and free and recyclable! By Dee [175] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ A soldier was asked to report to headquarters for assignment. The sergeant said: "We have a critical shortage of typists. I'll give you a little test. Type this," he ordered, giving him a pamphlet to copy and a sheet of paper, and pointing to a desk across the room that held a typewriter and an adding machine. The soldier, quite reluctant to become a clerk typist, made a point of typing very slowly, and saw to it that his work contained as many errors as possible. The sergeant gave the typed copy only a brief glance. "That's fine," he said. "Report for work at 8 tomorrow." "But aren't you going to check the test?" the prospective clerk asked. The sergeant grinned. "You passed the test," he replied, "when you sat down at the typewriter instead of at the adding machine." ______________________________________________________ A painter, whitewashing the inner walls of a country outhouse, had the misfortune to fall through the opening and land in the muck at the bottom. He shouted, "Fire! Fire! Fire!" at the top of his lungs. The local fire department responded with alacrity, sirens roaring as they approached the privy. "Where's the fire?" called the chief. "No fire," replied the painter as they pulled him out of the hole. "But if I had yelled, '****! ****! ****!', who would have rescued me?"


The Redneck Book of Manners

Today in 
1606 The "Susan Constant," "Godspeed" and "Discovery" set 
 sail from London. Their landing at Jamestown, VA, was the 
 start of the first permanent English settlement in America. 
1699 Peter the Great ordered that the Russian New Year be 
 changed from September 1 to January 1. 
1790 The first successful cotton mill in the United States 
 began operating at Pawtucket, RI. 
1803 The United States Senate ratified a treaty that included 
 the Louisiana Territories from France for $15 million. 
 The transfer was completed with formal ceremonies in 
 New Orleans. 
1820 The state of Missouri enacted legislation to tax 
 bachelors between the ages of 21-50 for being unmarried. 
 The tax was $1 a year. 
1879 Thomas A. Edison privately demonstrated his incandescent 
 light at Menlo Park, NJ. 
1880 New York's Broadway became known as the "Great White Way" 
 when it was lighted by electricity. 
1892 Alexander T. Brown and George Stillman patented the 
 pneumatic tire. 
1928 Mail delivery by dog sled began in Lewiston, ME. 
1938 Vladimir Kosma Zworykin patented the iconoscope 
 television system. 
1946 In Indochina (Vietnam), full-scale guerrilla warfare 
 between Vietnam partisans and French troops began. 
1954 Buick Motor Company signed Jackie Gleason to one of the 
 largest contracts ever entered into with an entertainer. 
 Gleason agreed to produce 78 half-hour shows over a two-year 
 period for $6,142,500. 
1963 The Berlin Wall was opened for the first time to West 
 Berliners. It was only for the holiday season. It closed 
 again on January 6, 1964. 
1973 The Spanish premier Carrero Blanco was assassinated 
 in Madrid. 
1987 More than 3,000 people were killed when the Dona Paz, 
 a Philippine passenger ship, collided with the tanker Vector 
 off Mindoro island, setting off a double explosion. 
1989 General Noriega, Panama's former dictator, was overthrown 
 by a United States invasion force invited by the new civilian 
 government. The project was known as Operation Just Cause. 
1995 An American Airlines Boeing 757 en route to Cali, Colombia, 
 crashed into a mountain, killing all but four of the 163 people 
 aboard. 
1999 The Vermont Supreme Court ruled that homosexual couples 
 were entitled to the same benefits and protections as wedded 
 couples of the opposite sex. 
1999 Sovereignty over the colony of Macao was transferred from 
 Portugal to China. 
2001 The U.S. Congress passed a $20 billion package to finance 
 the war against terrorism taking place in Afghanistan. 
2001 Argentina's President Fernando De la Rua resigned after 
 two years in power. 
2001 The first British peacekeepers arrived in Afghanistan to 
 help the nation heal after decades of war.
2014  smiled.


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Finding files without Search failing 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, December 19
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida mother dressing son as a girl and 
posting a picture on Facebook
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1998 U.S. President Bill Clinton was impeached on two charges 
 of perjury and obstruction of justice by the U.S. House 
 of Representatives.  
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The average man, who does not know what to do with his life, wants another one which will last forever. --- Anatole France (1844 - 1924) Correct me if I'm wrong, but hasn't the fine line between sanity and madness gotten finer? --- George Price ______________________________________________________ During an award ceremony the wife of Spain's ambassador to Washington asked former Sen. George Mitchell if he could make his speech a bit longer, since the ambassador had still not arrived from the airport. Mitchell replied: "I spent years in the U.S. Senate, Madam. I can speak on any subject for any length of time -- especially on a subject about which I have no particular knowledge." ______________________________________________________ Howard County Police officers still write their reports by hand, and the data is entered later into their database. One theft report stated that a farmer had lost 2,025 pigs. Thinking that to be an error, the data entry tech called the farmer directly. "Is it true, Mr. Smith that you lost 2,025 pigs?" she asked. "Yeth," lisped the farmer. Being a Howard County girl herself, the tech entered: "Subject lost 2 sows and 25 pigs." ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture Geminid Fireball over Mount Balang Image Credit: Alvin Wu While viewing the Geminids meteor shower a few days ago, a bright fireball was captured over Mt. Balang, China with particularly picturesque surroundings. In the foreground, a sea of light clouds slowly floated between dark mountain peaks. In the background, the constellation of Orion shone brightly, with the familiar three stars of Orion's belt visible near the image top right. Sirius, the brightest star in the night sky, is visible near the image center. The bright fireball flashed for only a fraction of second on the lower right. The source of the fireball was a pebble that intersected the protective atmosphere of Earth, originally expelled by the Sun-orbiting asteroid-like object 3200 Phaethon. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Christle Prado 34 Keith Driscoll 26 Winter Garden Florida Abusive mother-of-three arrested for forcing her mentally-ill son, 10, to dress up as a girl and put make up on because he wet the bed A Florida mom and her roommate are facing child cruelty charges after forcing her 10-year-old son to dress up like a girl and then posting pictures of the humiliation on Facebook. Authorities learned about the incident after a relative of Christle Prado saw the photos online and noticed the young boy was visibly upset about being punished. Prado claims Driscoll, who also happens to be her landlord, came up with the idea as a way to punish the child for bad behavior, and trying to blame him for what she did, she claims she went along with it for fear of compromising her living situation. According to Kristi Gray, a representative from the Department of Children and Families, “It was clear to me and anyone else who saw these pictures that this boy was clearly distraught and fearful about what was happening to him…It becomes mental injury when the child is traumatized during the event and after the event,” said Gray. When officials went to visit Prado’s residence, they found the boy raking leaves in the yard, and when prompted about it, still emotional from the ordeal. Prado and Discoll are being charged with cruelty toward children, which is a second-degree felony, and infliction of mental injury on a child. The boy and his two siblings are now in the care of his grandmother, who had reported the incident, and who says that the boy has a known mental illness and that the abuse has gone on for far too long. She has tried to gain custody and funding for some time. Prado reportedly told an investigator that she was frustrated that her son had been wetting himself and went to Driscoll for advice. Driscoll had the idea for dressing her son up as a girl. Prado says the boy was dressed as a girl for only two minutes. Police learned about the incident after grandmother claims she saw Facebook photos of the boy wearing the dress and crying. Tech Support Pits From: Dwayne Re: Find files Dear Webby When I try to find a file using ther Windows SEARCH, it acts as stupid as if it was a screen saver and craps out as soon as a fly shakes my desk. Is there a way around that? Dwayne Dear Dwayne Yes, there is! As soon as you have finished typing the name of the file you are searching for, or part of it, you see a tiny magnifying glass and the text "See more results" just above where you typed. Hit that! That will open a File Explorer with all the search results, and it won't "crap out" as you so eloquently put it. You can even sort those search results. Depending on the size of your hard drives, it might take some time to finish searching. Just give it time. You can do other work and don't have to worry about it collapsing and giving up like the ordinary Search. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Unexpected Company Keep some practical spare gifts on the side just in case you need one for an unexpected guest! I have a few generic 'go to' gifts; several jars of local jelly, jam, maple syrup or honey with a simple square of fabric tied to the top of each jar looks good. Or a bar or two of beautifully hand decorated soap or even bottles of wine. If you don't use them for guests, you could still use them after the holidays! By Dee [175] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ Little Nancy wailed over her doll, crushed by car tires when her mother had backed over it. Finally, her mother had heard enough, "Don't come crying to me. I told you not to leave it on the porch!" ______________________________________________________ An hysterical mother phones the family's pediatrician with an emergency. "Doctor," she says, "I was writing a letter when my two-year-old came along, grabbed my fancy fountain pen and swallowed it. What should I do?" "Don't panic, I'll be right over," says the doctor. "In the meantime, what are you doing?" he asks. "I'm using a pencil."


The Redneck Book of Manners

Today in 
1154 Henry II became King of England. 
1562 The Battle of Dreux was fought between the Huguenots 
 and the Catholics, beginning the French Wars of Religion. 
1732 Benjamin Franklin began publishing "Poor Richard's Almanac." 
1776 Thomas Paine published his first "American Crisis" essay. 
1777 General George Washington led his army of about 11,000 
 men to Valley Forge, PA, to camp for the winter. 
1842 Hawaii's independence was recognized by the U.S. 
1843 Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol" was first published 
 in England. 
1871 Corrugated paper was patented by Albert L. Jones. 
1887 Jake Kilrain and Jim Smith fought in a bare knuckles 
 fight which lasted 106 rounds and 2 hours and 30 minutes. 
 The fight was ruled a draw and was halted due to darkness. 
1903 The Williamsburg Bridge opened in New York City. It 
 opened as the largest suspension bridge on Earth and 
 remained the largest until 1924. It was also the first 
 major suspension bridge to use steel towers to support 
 the main cable. 
1907 A coalmine explosion in Jacobs Creek, PA, killed 
 239 workers. 
1957 Air service between London and Moscow was inaugurated. 
1972 Apollo 17 splashed down in the Pacific, ending the Apollo 
 program of manned lunar landings. 
1984 Britain and China signed an accord returning Hong Kong 
 to Chinese sovereignty on July 1, 1997. 
1989 U.S. troops invaded Panama to overthrow the regime of 
 General Noriega. 
1996 The school board of Oakland, CA, voted to recognize 
 Black English, also known as "ebonics." The board later 
 reversed its stance. 
1998 U.S. President Bill Clinton was impeached on two charges 
 of perjury and obstruction of justice by the U.S. House 
 of Representatives. 
2000 The U.N. Security Council voted to impose sanctions on 
 Afghanistan's Taliban rulers unless they closed all 
 terrorist training camps and surrender U.S. embassy 
 bombing suspect Osama bin Laden. 
2003 Images for the new design for the Freedom Tower at 
 the World Trade Center site were released. The building 
 slopes into a spire that reaches 1,776 feet. 
2008 U.S. President George W. Bush signed a $17.4 billion 
 rescue package of loans for ailing auto makers General 
 Motors and Chrysler.
2014  smiled.


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