Camera viewfinder monitor no good in sunshine 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Sunday, January 31

>From Richie
 As a Contract furniture specialist with 30 years experience, 
I'd like to add a few comments on your answer regarding clear 
chair mats over carpet. 
don't buy the cheap thin ones -they will curl at the edges and 
create a trip hazard, plus they will develop indents where the 
casters sit for long periods of time and make it difficult to 
roll around
also, if you have a desk chair with carpet casters (which are hard), 
you will need to switch to soft casters made for hard surfaces. 
Why" if not when you go to get up or sit in your chair, the chair 
will skate away fast and you could fall and break a bone.
make sure the mat is sized correctly to the space going under the 
desk and wide enough so the casters are not half on and half off 
the mat. good mats can be custom made in a variety of shapes
lastly get the mat with the spikes to prevent the mat from moving 
around
Good Luck
Richie



Have FUN!
DearWebby

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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida drunk arrrested after he drove into parked patrol car while deputy makes different DUI arrest Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, January 30, in 1747 The first clinic specializing in the treatment of venereal diseases was opened at London Dock Hospital. History ______________________________________________________ Bureaucrats write memoranda both because they appear to be busy when they are writing and because the memos, once written, immediately become proof that they were busy. --- Charles Peters ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A little boy got lost at the YWCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter -- haven't you ever seen a little boy before?" ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ "How was your golf game, dear?" asked Jack's wife Tracy. "Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight's gotten so bad I couldn't see where the ball went." "But you're seventy-five years old, Jack!" admonished his wife, "Why don't you take my brother Scott along?" "But he's eighty-five and doesn't even play golf anymore," protested Jack. "But he's got perfect eyesight. He could watch your ball," Tracy pointed out. The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on. Jack swung, and the ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway. "Do you see it?" asked Jack. "Yup," Scott answered. "Well, where is it?" yelled Jack, peering off into the distance. "Where is what ?", Scott answered. "My ball! My golf ball!" "Oh, I don't know. I was watching that cute lady over there. Her ball went into the water." ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Todd Casey, 49, Michael Probst, 36, Tampa, Floriduh Florida drunk arrrested after he drove into parked patrol car while deputy makes different DUI arrest A drunk crashed into a patrol car while a sheriff’s deputy was making an arrest in another DUI case. The Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office said in a news release the incident happened Sunday night. Deputies were arresting 36-year-old Michael Probst around 10:30 p.m. when another car side-swiped the patrol car. The driver didn’t stop but deputies eventually caught up with him. Michael Probst, 36, was being arrested when the crash occured. Deputies arrested 49-year-old Todd M. Casey shortly afterward. An incident report says Casey had alcohol on his breath, red and glassy eyes and slurred speech. He provided breath samples of .181 and .196. Drivers in Florida are considered impaired at .08. He is charged with DUI with property damage and was cited for not moving over when passing an emergency vehicle. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Felix Re: Camera view monitor is useless in sunshine Dear Webby I did all the homework and research on digital cameras and because I often work in marginal light conditions, I got a big and heavy and clunky Sony. It takes great pictures, but the LCD view finder is totally useless in bright light outdoors. The optical viewfinder on the side is just as bad on clear sunny days. I still love the camera, but I need to find a solution to those problems! Felix Dear Felix That problem has existed a lot longer than digital cameras. The solution is still the same as 150 years ago. Find some black satin and cut a one meter by one meter (3' x 3') square out of it and use that to cover your head and the camera when working in bright sunlight. Satin blocks the light quite well and folds up a lot smaller than any other cloth. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do? His mother had an idea: "Why don't you send her a card, and on the card invite her to your apartment for a home-cooked meal?" He thought this was a great strategy, and a week later, the woman came to dinner. His mother called the next day to see how things had gone. "I was totally humiliated," he moaned. "She insisted on washing the dishes." "What's wrong with that?" asked his mother. "We hadn't started eating yet." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Potato Tahdig (Crispy Potato Cake) Tahdig is a traditional savoury Persian treat. What started as the crispy crust that got stuck to the bottom of your pan has rapidly become the most sought-after part of the meal. I like to eat it with stews. I learned how to make it from my mother, who learned how to make it from her mother in law, who was an amazing cook, God rest her soul. :) Approximate Time: 35 minutes Yield: 4 servings Ingredients: 3 medium potatoes 3 Tbsp oil 1 inch of carrot, sliced into flower shapes a few sprigs of Italian parsley Steps: Slice potatoes, about 3mm thick. Add oil to cold pan. Arrange carrots and parsley. Add sliced potatoes, slightly overlapping, in a circular way, spiraling around the pan then stacking up evenly. Add 3 tablespoons of water to pan, turn on heat to medium. Cover with lid, and cook about 5 minutes or until it starts to steam. When you see the steam, add a paper towel between the pan and the lid in order to catch the steam. Reduce heat to low, cook about 20-25 minutes. Do a taste/texture check to see if the potatoes on the top are cooked. When they are, raise the heat to medium for 1 minute to make the bottom super crunchy. Remove from heat. Put the lidded pan on a cold wet towel. This helps release tahdig nicely from the bottom of the pan. The same way you would flip a cake, put a plate over the pan and flip over quickly. Enjoy your yummy and pretty potato creation! *You could also add parboiled rice to a thin layer of potato from the beginning to make more of a rice cake. Source: Family recipe and method By attosa [169] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Three pastors from different congregations were having lunch and sharing experiences and ideas to help each other out with their different fellowships. After several minutes of animated conversation, the first one remarks, "Hey, you know, we've got a serious problem at our church that I want to discuss with you guys." The other two pastors nod and he goes on, "Well, it's bats. We can't seem to get these bats out of our attic. The singing and organ playing wake them up, and they start flapping around. Then when I start to preach, we can still hear them moving around up there and it's really hard for anyone to pay any attention. The kids start to cry and, well, it's starting to really get in the way of a good church service." The second pastor says "Well that's interesting, because we've had the same problem, they won't stay out of our belfry. We've tried ringing the bells at all hours, spraying chemicals, we've even had a couple of exterminator companies out. Nothing's worked yet." He throws up his hands in exasperation and shakes his head. The third pastor smiles and nods his head knowingly. "Well, gentlemen. We had that problem a few years ago, and we found a quick solution." he says. The other two pastors look up with hope on their faces, and he goes on, "It was easy. We went up there, got to know 'em a little bit, got 'em baptized and started passing the collection plate to them. Haven't seen 'em since." ___________________________________________________
balls acrobat
____________________________________________________ A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money. The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn't been paid. The collections manager left a voice- mail for them saying, "We can't ship your new order until you pay for the last one." The next day the collections manager received a collect phone call, "Please cancel the order. We can't wait that long." ____________________________________________________ Dave was talking to his buddy, John, about his love life. "So, John, how's it going with the ladies?" "Women, to me, are nothing but sex objects." "Really?" "Yep," John shook his head sadly, "Whenever I mention sex, they object." ____________________________________________________
Very talented and humorous instrumentalists from Poland and their version of Wild West Music.

Today, January 31, in
1606 - Guy Fawkes was executed after being convicted for his 
 role in the "Gunpowder Plot" against the English Parliament 
 and King James I. 
1747 The first clinic specializing in the treatment of venereal 
 diseases was opened at London Dock Hospital. 
1858 The Great Eastern, the five-funnelled steamship designed 
 by Brunel, was launched at Millwall. 
1865 In America, General Robert E. Lee was named general-in-chief 
 of the Confederate armies. 
1865 The 13th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was passed by 
 the U.S. House of Representatives. The amendment abolished 
 slavery in the United States. 
1876 All Native American Indians were ordered to move into 
 reservations. 
1893 The trademark "Coca-Cola" was first registered in the 
 United States Patent Office. 
1917 Germany announced its policy of unrestricted submarine 
 warfare. 
1929 The USSR exiled Leon Trotsky. He found asylum in Mexico. 
1930 U.S. Navy Lt. Ralph S. Barnaby became the first glider 
 pilot to have his craft released from a dirigible, a large 
 blimp, at Lakehurst, NJ. 
1934 Jim Londos defeated Joe Savoldi in a one-fall match in 
 Chicago, IL. The crowd of 20,000 was one of the largest 
 crowds to see a wrestling match. 
1936 The radio show "The Green Hornet" debuted. 
1940 The first Social Security check was issued by the U.S. 
 Government. 
1944 During World War II, U.S. forces invaded Kwajalein Atoll 
 and other areas of the Japanese-held Marshall Islands. 
1945 Private Eddie Slovik became the only U.S. soldier since 
 the U.S. Civil War to be executed for desertion. 
1946 A new constitution in Yugoslavia created six constituent 
 republics (Serbia, Montenegro, Croatia, Slovenia, 
 Bosnia-Herzegovina, Macedonia) subordinated to a central 
 authority, on the model of the USSR. 
1949 The first TV daytime soap opera was broadcast from NBC's 
 station in Chicago, IL. It was "These Are My Children." 
1950 U.S. President Truman announced that he had ordered 
 development of the hydrogen bomb. 
1958 Explorer I was put into orbit around the earth. It was 
 the first U.S. earth satellite. 
1971 Astronauts Alan B. Shepard Jr., Edgar D. Mitchell and 
 Stuart A. Roosa blasted off aboard Apollo 14 on a mission 
 to the moon. 
1971 Telephone service between East and West Berlin was 
 re-established after 19 years. 
1982 Sandy Duncan gave her final performance as "Peter Pan" 
 in Los Angeles, CA. She completed 956 performances without 
 missing a show. 
1983 The wearing of seat belts in cars became compulsory in 
 Britain. 
1983 JCPenney announced plans to spend in excess of $1 billion 
 over the next five years to modernize stores and to 
 accelerate a repositioning program. 
1985 The final Jeep rolled off the assembly line at the AMC 
 plant in Toledo, OH. 
1990 McDonald's Corp. opened its first fast-food restaurant 
 in Moscow, Russia. 
1995 U.S. President Clinton invoked presidential emergency 
 authority to provide a $20 billion loan to Mexico to stabilize 
 its economy. 
1996 In Columbo, Sri Lanka, a truck was rammed into the gates 
 of the Central Bank. The truck filled with explosives killed 
 at least 86 and injured 1,400. 
2000 An Alaska Airlines jet crashed into the ocean off Southern 
 California. All 88 people on board were killed. 
2001 A Scottish court in the Netherlands convicted one Libyan 
 and acquitted a second in the bombing of Pan Am Flight 103 
 over Lockerbie, Scotland, that occurred in 1988. 
2015  smiled.


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Clear carpet mats around desks 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, January 30

Thank you, Jim !!!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Tacoma car thief arrested after he tried to steal police car, sat in officer's lap Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, January 30, in 1847 The town of Yerba Buena was renamed San Francisco. History ______________________________________________________ Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. --- Timothy Leary (1920 - 1996) The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work. --- Robert Frost (1874 - 1963) Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. --- Sidney J. Harris ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Jean Daughter: "Daddy, I am coming home to get married! Take out your checkbook! I'm in love with a boy who is far away from me! I am in California and he lives in New York! We met on a dating website, became friends on Facebook, had long chats on Whatsapp, he proposed to me on Skype and now we've had two months of relationship through Viper! Dad, I need your blessings, good wishes, and a big wedding!" Father: "Wow! Really, then get married on Twitter; have fun on Tango; buy your kids on Amazon and pay through PayPal. And if you get fed up with your husband...sell him on Ebay! ______________________________________________________
Save up to 85% OFF retail prices on Ink & Toner-Click here
Get 15% off those alreay 85% lower than retail
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______________________________________________________ >From Walter, the Stonecarver: Staglieno Cemetery in Genoa, Italy, is a magical place filled with hundreds of incredible marble sculptures. Visit http://staglieno.com or https://www.facebook.com/StaglienoSculpture/ to see lots of photos of these amazing, beautiful works of art. Walter is involved in restoring these sculptures and remedying hundreds of years of pollution damage on the ancient marble. Here are a couple pictures from the many sculptures: Staglieno Cemetery in Genoa, Italy, is a magical place filled with hundreds of incredible marble sculptures. ______________________________________________________ A retired four-star general ran into his former orderly, also retired, in a Manhattan bar and spent the rest of the evening persuading him to come work for him as his valet. "Your duties will be exactly the same as they were in the Army," the general said. "Nothing to it-you'll catch on again fast." Next morning promptly at eight o'clock, the ex-orderly entered the ex-general's bedroom, pulled open the drapes, gave the general a gentle shake, strode around the other side of the bed, slapped his employer's wife on her bottom and said, "OK, girlie, it's back to the village for you." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by David Boulet, Tacoma, Washington Tacoma car thief arrested after he tried to steal police car, sat in officer's lap A suspected car thief trying to run from police got a surprise when he tried to steal a police patrol car and wound up sitting in an officer’s lap. Fife police Lt. Tom Thompson said the man was spotted acting suspicious near a motel around 8:30 p.m. Tuesday, so a patrol sergeant stopped to check the license on the car he was driving. It came back as stolen. As the sergeant followed the suspect, identified as David Boulet, Boulet jumped from the car and ran. Police said Boulet climbed a fence and ran through traffic in both the north and southbound lanes of Interstate 5, dodging cars. Meanwhile, a Tacoma police officer, hearing the chase over the radio, stopped on the Port of Tacoma road overpass and turned on his red and blue lights. Thompson said Boulet ran from the freeway through heavy brush and onto the overpass, apparently looking for a getaway car. He spotted the patrol car with lights flashing, ran toward it, pulled the door open, got in and sat down in the officer’s lap, apparently unaware that the officer was still behind the wheel. Thompson said the officer was stunned at first, then recognized Boulet’s description as the suspect leading police on a foot pursuit. Boulet was wrestled to the ground and placed under arrest. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Deborah Re: Clear floor mats for desks Dear Webby How well do those clear plastic floor mats that you see in many offices protect the carpet? Debrah Those clear floor mats are not really intended to protect the carpet, but to make it easier for chairs to roll around. After a year or two you can quite definitely spot where the carpet had been covered by a mat and where it had been exposed to air, light, and usage. Carpet ages differently when exposed and used, and the areas under the floor mats will look identical to the areas under the file cabinets, however, that is usually quite preferable to the bald spots your carpet might get if you don't use them. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ While visiting a friend who was in the hospital, I noticed several pretty nurses, each of whom was wearing a pin designed to look like an apple. I asked one nurse what the pin signified. Nothing," she said with a smile. "It's just to keep the doctors away." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com No Bake Chocolate Mint Cookies This is a very simple way to get your fix of those crispy, chocolatey, minty cookies. I had seen a similar recipe and they used Andes baking chips. I had never heard of them. But sure enough, there they were at Target! I almost paid the $3 for the bag, but realized I probably had all the ingredients at home to make them just as good. Be warned that once you eat one, you will want to keep going until the whole platter is gone! Approximate Time: 10 minutes, plus time for the chocolate to harden Yield: About 20 "cookies" Ingredients: 20 Ritz crackers 1/4 bag (4 oz) semi-sweet chocolate chips (I used mini) 1 Tbsp shortening 1/2 tsp peppermint extract Steps: Put your chocolate chips in a microwave-safe bowl. Add chocolate chips and shortening. You can skip the shortening, if you like. I always use it and rarely have chocolate "seize" on me. Microwave 30 seconds to start with. Take out of the microwave and stir. Put in the microwave and heat another 20-30 seconds. Stir until the chocolate is smooth. Add 1/2 teaspoon of peppermint extract, stir and then taste. Don't go crazy with this stuff. If you want it a little more minty, add a few more drops. Stir the extract into the chocolate. Take your cracker and dip it into the melted chocolate. I like to use a spoon to pour the chocolate on top. You can use a fork underneath to pull the cracker out. Wipe the fork against the bowl to get the excess chocolate off. Place on a piece of wax paper. Wait patiently for the chocolate to harden. Enjoy! By Becky Miles [100] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ As a passenger ship passed a small island, a bearded man could be seen shouting and furiously waving his arms. "Who is that?" a passenger asked the captain. "I have no idea," the captain replied, "But every year when we pass he goes nuts." ___________________________________________________
Remember the one who fed you the ball watch to the end :D
____________________________________________________ Laura's husband, Ron, was called into his bank to discuss his accounts. "Your finances are in terrible shape," the banker stated. "Your checking account is overdrawn, your loan is overdue." "Yes, I know." said Ron. "It's my wife Laura, she is out of control." "Why do you allow your wife to spend more money than you make?" asked the banker. "Frankly," replied Ron with a deep sigh, "because it is a lot safer to argue with you than with her." ____________________________________________________ Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man in a three-piece suit. "This young lawyer agreed to marry my daughter," said one. "No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other. And so they haggled before the King until he called for silence. "Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I shall hew the young attorney in half. Each of you shall receive a half." "Sounds good to me," said the first lady. But the other woman said, "Oh Sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let the other woman's daughter marry him." The wise king did not hesitate a moment. "The attorney must marry the first lady's daughter," he proclaimed. "But she was willing to hew him in two!" exclaimed the king's court. "Indeed," said wise King Solomon. "That shows she is the TRUE mother-in-law." ____________________________________________________
The strangest living bird I've ever seen.

Today, January 30, in
1649 England's King Charles I was beheaded. 
1790 The first purpose-built lifeboat was launched on the 
 River Tyne. 
1798 The first brawl in the U.S. House of Representatives 
 took place. Congressmen Matthew Lyon and Roger Griswold 
 fought on the House floor. 
1847 The town of Yerba Buena was renamed San Francisco. 
1862 The U.S. Navy's first ironclad warship, the "Monitor", 
 was launched. 
1889 Rudolph, crown prince of Austria, and his 17-year-old 
 mistress, Baroness Marie Vetsera, were found shot in his 
 hunting lodge at Mayerling, near Vienna. 
1894 C.B. King received a patent for the pneumatic hammer. 
1900 The British fighting the Boers in South Africa ask 
 for a larger army. 
1910 Work began on the first board-track automobile speedway. 
 The track was built in Playa del Ray, CA. 
1911 The first airplane rescue at sea was made by the destroyer 
 "Terry." Pilot James McCurdy was forced to land in the ocean 
 about 10 miles from Havana, Cuba. 
1933 "The Lone Ranger" was heard on radio for the first time. 
 The program ran for 2,956 episodes and ended in 1955. 
1933 Adolf Hitler was named the German Chancellor. 
1948 Indian political and spiritual leader Mahatma Gandhi was 
 murdered by a Hindu extremist. 
1958 Yves Saint Laurent, at age 22, held his first major fashion 
 show in Paris. 
1958 The first two-way moving sidewalk was put in service at 
 Love Field in Dallas, TX. The length of the walkway through 
 the airport was 1,435 feet. 
1962 Two members of the "Flying Wallendas" high-wire act were 
 killed when their seven-person pyramid collapsed during a 
 performance in Detroit, MI. 
1964 January 30 The U.S. launched Ranger 6. The unmanned 
 spacecraft carried television cameras and was intentionally 
 crash-landed on the moon. The cameras did not return any 
 pictures to Earth. 
1968 The Tet Offensive began as Communist forces launched 
 surprise attacks against South Vietnamese provincial capitals. 
1972 In Northern Ireland, British soldiers shot and killed 
 thirteen Roman Catholic civil rights marchers. The day is known 
 as "Bloody Sunday." 
1979 The civilian government of Iran announced it had decided to 
 allow Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini to return. He had been living 
 in exile in France flooding Iran with cassette tapes of his 
 speeches. 
1989 The U.S. embassy in Kabul, Afghanistan was closed. 
1995 The U.N. Security Council authorized the deployment of a 
 6,000-member U.N. peace-keeping contingent to assume security 
 responsibilities in Haiti from U.S. forces. 
1996 Gino Gallagher, the reputed leader of the Irish National 
 Liberation Army, was shot and killed as he queued for his 
 unemployment benefit. 
1997 A New Jersey judge ruled that the unborn child of a female 
 prisoner must have legal representation. He denied the prisoner 
 bail reduction to enable her to leave the jail and obtain an 
 abortion. 
2002 Slobodan Milosevic accused the U.N. war crimes tribunal of 
 an "evil and hostile attack" against him. Milosevic was defending 
 his actions during the Balkan wars. 
2002 Japan's last coal mine was closed. The closures were due to 
 high production costs and cheap imports. 
2005 In Iraq, the first free Parliamentary elections since 1958 
 took place. 
2015  smiled.


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Secret Key combos 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, January 29
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Thank you, Jim !!!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida teacher accused of having sex with teen re-arrested on suspicion of tampering with evidence Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, January 29, in 1997 America Online agreed to give refunds to frustrated customers under threat of lawsuits across the country. Customers were unable to log on after AOL offered a flat $19.95-a-month rate. History ______________________________________________________ Women always think they can change their man They never do. Men alway hope that their woman won't change They always do. --- Socratex A good wife sometimes forgives her husband when she's wrong. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A guy walks into a bar and approaches the barman, "Can I have a pint of Less, please?" "I'm sorry sir," the barman replies, looking slightly puzzled, "I've not come across that one before. Is it a spirit?" "I've no idea," replies the guy, "The thing is, I went to see my doctor last week and he told me that I should drink Less." ______________________________________________________
Save up to 85% OFF retail prices on Ink & Toner-Click here
Get 15% off those alreay 85% lower than retail
prices with this coupon link!
______________________________________________________ A college student with a young child was pleased when her daughter became eligible to attend the day care center at the University. The director of the day care gave the mother a tour of the facilities. To assure herself of the center's high standards, the young mother asked about the curriculum. "Well," said the director, eyes twinkling, "today we are studying the children's favorite philosopher: Play-Dough." (Plato was a famous philosopher in Greece about 2400 years ago) ______________________________________________________ Looks like Antelope Canyon ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Sara Moore, 35, St Cloud, Floriduh Florida teacher accused of having sex with teen re-arrested on suspicion of tampering with evidence Ex-substitute teacher accused of sex with boy rearrested after posting bond A Florida teacher accused of having sex with her child’s friend has been rearrested on suspicion of tampering with evidence. Sara Moore, 35, is accused of sleeping with the 14-year-old boy more than two dozen times at her home in St. Cloud. Moore was released on bail last week, but has been rearrested on suspicion of evidence tampering, reported Fox 35 Orlando. Her relationship with the teen was uncovered when his parents found condoms and sexually explicit Instagram messages, according to an affidavit. Substitute teacher Moore is now accused of going to a local Verizon store to attempt to wipe information from her cellphone. According to a police report, Moore told an employee she was "in trouble with police" and asked how to delete evidence, remotely. "Apparently, she made some statements to a store clerk there about wanting to access a phone that was in evidence pertinent to her current case," said an attorney. Staff at the store alerted police, who then arrested Moore once more. The teen victim, who is friends with the married St. Cloud Middle School health teacher’s children, told police he had sex with Moore up to 25 times in the back of a car at a gas station parking lot, and in her daughter’s bedroom. When his parents learned of the sex, he burst into tears and said that he didn’t want to ruin her life. Moore, who worked with the Osceola County school district for three years, was fired last week. Moore is charged with 10 counts of sexual battery on a minor. A judge handed Moore $75,000 bail on the tampering with evidence charge Wednesday, and she will stay in jail because her bond was revoked because of the sexual battery charge. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Vicky Re: Secret Key combos Dear Webby What is the secret key combination to jump back and forth between different programs ? I have seen people use that trick and it looks so cool and professional, but I don't want those people to know that I don't kow. Thanks Vicky Dear Vicky ALT TAB will jump the curser to the previously used program. Also handy are these: CTRL C copy CTRL V paste CTRL X cut (= copy and delete the copied stuff) CTRL Z OOOPS, undo the previous action Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Lisa was out driving her car and while stopped at a red light, the car just died. It was a busy intersection and the traffic behind her was starting to pile up. The guy in the car directly behind her was honking his horn continuously as Lisa continued to try getting the car to start up again. Finally Lisa gets out of her car and approaches the guy in the car behind her. "I can't seem to get my car started," Lisa said, smiling. "Would you be a sweetheart and go and see if you can get it started for me. I'll stay here in your car and honk your horn for you." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com No Bake Chocolate Mint Cookies This is a very simple way to get your fix of those crispy, chocolatey, minty cookies. I had seen a similar recipe and they used Andes baking chips. I had never heard of them. But sure enough, there they were at Target! I almost paid the $3 for the bag, but realized I probably had all the ingredients at home to make them just as good. Be warned that once you eat one, you will want to keep going until the whole platter is gone! Approximate Time: 10 minutes, plus time for the chocolate to harden Yield: About 20 "cookies" Ingredients: 20 Ritz crackers 1/4 bag (4 oz) semi-sweet chocolate chips (I used mini) 1 Tbsp shortening 1/2 tsp peppermint extract Steps: Put your chocolate chips in a microwave-safe bowl. Add chocolate chips and shortening. You can skip the shortening, if you like. I always use it and rarely have chocolate "seize" on me. Microwave 30 seconds to start with. Take out of the microwave and stir. Put in the microwave and heat another 20-30 seconds. Stir until the chocolate is smooth. Add 1/2 teaspoon of peppermint extract, stir and then taste. Don't go crazy with this stuff. If you want it a little more minty, add a few more drops. Stir the extract into the chocolate. Take your cracker and dip it into the melted chocolate. I like to use a spoon to pour the chocolate on top. You can use a fork underneath to pull the cracker out. Wipe the fork against the bowl to get the excess chocolate off. Place on a piece of wax paper. Wait patiently for the chocolate to harden. Enjoy! By Becky Miles [100] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Manny was almost 29 years old. Most of his friends had already gotten married, and Manny just bounced from one relationship to the next. Finally a friend asked him, "What's the matter, are you looking for the perfect woman? Are you THAT particular? Can't you find anyone who suits you?" "No," Manny replied. "I meet a lot of nice girls, but as soon as I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them. So I keep on looking!" "Listen," his friend suggested, "Why don't you find a girl who's just like your dear ole Mother?" Many weeks passed before Manny and his friend got together again. "So Manny. Did you find the perfect girl yet. One that's just like your Mother?" Manny shrugged his shoulders, "Yes I found one just like Mom. My mother loved her, they became great friends." "Excellent!!! So,.... Are you and this girl engaged, yet?" "I'm afraid not. My Father can't stand her!" ___________________________________________________
that thing you do
____________________________________________________ "BettySue," asked Dawn thoughtfully one day, "what would you do if you caught your husband with another woman?" "Another woman with MY husband?" BettySue thought it over. "Let's see; I'd break her cane, shoot her guide dog, and call a cab to take her back to the institution she escaped from." ____________________________________________________ The newly wed wife said to her husband when he returned from work: "I have great news for you. Pretty soon we're going to be three in this house instead of two." The husband started glowing with happiness and kissing his wife said: "Oh darling, I'm the happiest man in the world." But then she said: "I'm glad that you feel this way because tomorrow morning my mother moves in with us." ____________________________________________________
The Site Of The Salem Witch Trials Has Been Found, And It's Not Where You'd Expect

Today, January 29, in
1820 Britain's King George III died insane at Windsor Castle. 
1845 Edgar Allan Poe's "The Raven" was published for the 
 first time in the "New York Evening Mirror." 
1848 Greenwich Mean Time was adopted by Scotland. 
1850 Henry Clay introduced in the Senate a compromise bill 
 on slavery that included the admission of California into 
 the Union as a free state. 
1886 The first successful petrol-driven motorcar, built by 
 Karl Benz, was patented. 
1916 In World War I, Paris was bombed by German zeppelins 
 for the first time. 
1924 R. Taylor patented the ice cream cone rolling machine. 
1940 The W. Atlee Burpee Seed Company displayed the first 
 tetraploid flowers at the New York City Flower Show. 
1949 "The Newport News" was commissioned as the first 
 air-conditioned naval ship in Virginia. 
1963 Britain was refused entry into the EEC. 
1987 "Physician’s Weekly" announced that the smile on the 
 face of Leonardo DeVinci's Mona Lisa was caused by a 
 "...facial paralysis resulting from a swollen nerve 
 behind the ear." 
1990 Joseph Hazelwood, the former skipper of the Exxon Valdez, 
 went on trial in Anchorage, AK, on charges that stemmed from 
 America's worst oil spill. Hazelwood was later acquitted of 
 all the major charges and was convicted of a misdemeanor. 
1996 French President Jacques Chirac announced the "definitive 
 end" to nuclear testing. 
1996 La Fenice, the 204 year old opera house in Venice, was 
 destroyed by fire. Arson was suspected. 
1997 America Online agreed to give refunds to frustrated 
 customers under threat of lawsuits across the country. 
 Customers were unable to log on after AOL offered a flat 
 $19.95-a-month rate. 
1998 A bomb exploded at an abortion clinic in Birmingham, AL, 
 killing an off-duty policeman and severely wounding a nurse. 
 Eric Rudolph was charged with this bombing and three other 
 attacks in Atlanta. 
1999 Paris prosecutors announced the end of the investigation 
into the accident that killed Britain's Princess Diana. 
1999 The U.S. Senate delivered subpoenas for Monica Lewinsky 
 and two presidential advisers for private, videotaped 
 testimony in the impeachment trial. 
2001 In Indonesia, thousands of student protesters stormed 
 the parliament property and demanded that President 
 Abdurrahman Wahid quit due to his alleged involvement in 
 two corruption scandals. Wahid announced that he would 
 not resign. 
2014 Archaeologists announced that they had uncovered what 
 they believed to be the oldest temple in Roman antiquity. 
 The temple was found at the Sant'Omobono site in central Rome. 
2015  smiled.


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Printing from Chrome 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, January 28

Thank you, Allene!!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Ex-Texas teacher busted for having sex with student is suing him for recording tryst, and his mother for calling her a 'predator' Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, January 28, in 1999 Ford Motor Company announced the purchase of Sweden's Volvo AB for $6.45 billion. History ______________________________________________________ Man always gets less than he demands from life. --- Jack London (1876 - 1916) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A New Mom took her baby daughter to the supermarket for the first time. She dressed her in pink from head to toe. At the store, she placed her in the shopping cart and put her purchases around her. At the checkout line a small boy and his mother were ahead of them. The child was crying and begging for some special treat. He wants some candy or gum and his mother won't let him have any, she thought. Then she heard his mother's reply. "No!" she said, looking in her direction. "You may not have a baby sister today. That lady got the last one!" ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ Another laptop computer has disappeared from the State Department. The disappearance came to light during an inventory ordered after a laptop containing classified information went missing about two months ago. A note was sent to State Department Employees: When you want to deliver a message, just send e-mail - not the entire computer. ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Tanya Ramirez, 31, Corpus Christi, Texas Ex-Texas teacher busted for having sex with student is suing him for recording tryst, and his mother for calling her a 'predator' A former Texas teacher who was busted for having sex with a 17-year-old student filed a lawsuit against him for recording their tryst — and one against the teen's mother for calling her a "predator." Tanya Ramirez claims that the teen videotaped their sex in 2014 and "disseminated the video to numerous people and caused the video to be posted on YouTube," the lawsuit against the student charges. The teen's "extreme and outrageous" conduct caused Ramirez severe emotional distress, according to the suit. "You can't have sex with someone and film it without their knowledge, and post it on the Internet," Amie Pratt, one of Ramirez's lawyers, told the Daily News on Wednesday. In a suit filed previously, Ramirez claims the teen's mother, Kimberly Tademy, has told several media outlets the teacher has had sex with students other than her son, and that Ramirez is a sexual predator of children. The false statements exposed Ramirez to "public hatred, contempt, ridicule, and financial injury, and impeached her honesty and integrity," the lawsuit claims. Ramirez, who taught at King High School in Corpus Christi, pleaded guilty to having an improper relationship with a student, and was given seven years probation. In a second case, she pleaded no contest to having sex with another 17-year-old student. She was indicted in 2014 under a Texas law which forbids teachers from having sex with students from the same school, even if the students are of legal age. In Texas, 17 is the age of consent. Her lawyers are in the process of filing a notice of appeal, claiming the "Improper Relationship Between Educator and Student" law is not constitutional and makes "no sense." "Even though she is guilty of having sex with a student, the student was a consenting adult when it happened," Pratt told The News. "Had she not been a teacher, this would not have been a crime." ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Walter Re: Printing from Chrome Dear Webby now that I am using Chrome I can't figure out how to print an email letter. When I click on the print icon a window pops up asking whether to save the copy but I just want to print it. How does that work? Also, does Chrome have a 'Menu' bar? As always my sincerest thanks. Be well, live long, and prosper, Walter Dear Walter To print from Chrome, hit CTRL P If your printing preference is set for PDF or Print To File, change that to your current printer. Usually it remembers your preferences. The menu is in the three horizontal bars in the right top corner. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A man learned shortly before quitting time that he had to attend a meeting. He tried unsuccessfully to locate his car-pool members to let them know that he would not be leaving with them. Hastily he scribbled a message to one fellow and left it on his desk: "I have a last-minute meeting. Leave without me. Dave." At 7:00 p.m., the man stopped at his desk and found this note: "Meet us at the bar and grill across the street. You drove today, you dope." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Blender Pancakes Healthy and delicious! A nice change of pace from traditional pancakes. Approximate Time: 10 minutes Yield: 2 people Ingredients: 1 cup cottage cheese or Greek yogurt (I used blueberry Greek yogurt) 2 large eggs 1 cup rolled oats A little milk or other liquid if you think the batter is too thick Steps: Preheat the griddle over medium-high heat. Griddle is ready when beads of water "dance" on it. Put your ingredients in a blender. I put them in a bowl, and used my immersion blender. Cook the pancakes until bubbles form on the surface. This takes 1 to 1 1/2 minutes (mine took slightly longer). Turn and cook until brown on other side, a couple of minutes more. Serve with butter, jam, syrup, sugar or fresh fruit on top. Source: February 2016 issue of Family Circle magazine By Judy Pariser S. [80] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A new miracle doctor was in town. He could cure anything and anybody, and everyone was amazed with what he can do. Everyone except for Schwartz, the town grouch. So Schwartz went to this 'miracle doctor' to prove that he wasn't anybody special: "Hey, doc, I have lost my sense of taste. I can't taste nothin', so what are ya goin to do?" The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little, then tells Schwartz: "What you need is jar number 43." Jar number 43? Mr. Schwartz wonders. So the doctor brings the jar and tells Schwartz to taste it. He tastes it and immediately spits it out, "This is gross!" he yells. "I just restored your sense of taste Mr. Schwartz," says the doctor. "that will be $100." So Schwartz goes home very mad. One month later, Schwartz goes back to the doctor along - with a new problem, "Doc," he starts, "I can't remember!" The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little and tells Schwartz, "What you need is jar number 43..." Before the doctor finished his sentence, Schwartz fled the office. ___________________________________________________
Scottie pinwheel
____________________________________________________ Judge: "I see you are back for fighting with your wife. Liquor again?" "No, sir," was the reply. "She licked me this time." ____________________________________________________ A young man volunteered to baby-sit one night so his girlfriend and her mom could go to some tupperware party. At bedtime he sent the youngsters upstairs to bed and settled down to watch football. One child kept creeping down the stairs but the young man kept sending him back. At 9pm, the doorbell rang, it was the next-door neighbour Mrs. Brown, asking whether her son was there. The young man brusquely replied, "No". Just then a little head appeared over the banister and a voice shouted: "I'm here Mom but he won't let me go home." ____________________________________________________
CStreet art portraits.

Today, January 28, in
1521 The Diet of Worms began, at which Protestant reformer 
 Luther was declared an outlaw by the Roman Catholic church. 
1547 England's King Henry VIII died. He was succeeded by his 
 9 year-old son, Edward VI. 
1788 The first British penal settlement in Australia was founded 
 at Botany Bay. 
1807 London's Pall Mall became the first street lit by gaslight. 
1871 France surrendered in the Franco-Prussian War. 
1878 The first telephone switchboard was installed in New Haven, CT. 
1902 The Carnegie Institution was established in Washington, DC. It 
 began with a gift of $10 million from Andrew Carnegie. 
1909 The United States ended direct control over Cuba. 
1915 The Coast Guard was created by an act of the U.S. Congress to 
 fight contraband trade and aid distressed vessels at sea. 
1916 Louis D. Brandeis was appointed by President Wilson to the U.S. 
 Supreme Court, becoming its first Jewish member. 
1918 The Bolsheviks occupied Helsinki, Finland. 
1935 Iceland became the first country to introduce legalized abortion. 
1945 During World War II, Allied supplies began reaching China 
 over the newly reopened Burma Road. 
1957 The Brooklyn Dodgers announced that circus clown Emmett Kelly had 
 been hired to entertain fans at baseball games. 
1958 Construction began on first private thorium-uranium nuclear reactor. 
1965 General Motors reported the biggest profit of any U.S. company 
 in history. 
1980 Six Americans who had fled the U.S. embassy in Tehran, Iran, on 
 November 4, 1979, left Iran using false Canadian diplomatic passports. 
 The Americans had been hidden at the Canadian embassy in Tehran. 
1982 Italian anti-terrorism forces rescued U.S. Brigadier General 
 James L. Dozier. He had been kidnapped by the Red Brigades 42 days before. 
1986 The U.S. space shuttle Challenger exploded just after takeoff. All 
 seven of its crewmembers were killed. 
1998 In Manilla, Philippines, gunmen held at least 400 children and 
 teachers for several hours at an elementary school. 
1999 Ford Motor Company announced the purchase of Sweden's Volvo AB 
 for $6.45 billion. 
2002 Toys R Us Inc. announced that it would be closing 27 Toys R Us 
 stores and 37 Kids R Us stores in order to cut costs and boost 
 operating profits.
2015  smiled.


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How to deal with power outages 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, January 27

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a NC Woman charged with aggravated violence after she assaulted hubby with nunchucks, when he refused to have sex with her. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, January 27, in 1880 Thomas Edison patented the electric incandescent lamp. History ______________________________________________________ The most perfidious way of harming a cause consists of defending it deliberately with faulty arguments. --- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900) I want to live my life so that my nights are not full of regrets. --- D. H. Lawrence ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Jean A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth. Turning to the man next to him he said, "I forgot my teef." The man said, "No problem." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of false teeth. "Try these," he said. The speaker tried them. "Too loose," he said. The man then said, "I have another pair - try these." The speaker tried them and responded, "Too tight." The man was not taken back at all. He then said, "I have one more pair. Try them." The speaker said, "They fit perfectly." With that he ate his meal and gave his speech. After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went over to thank the man who had helped him. "I want to thank you for coming to my aid. Where is your office? I've been looking for a good dentist." The man replied, "I'm not a dentist. I'm an undertaker." ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ The case concerned a will Kelly was a witness. "Was the deceased," asked the attorney, "In the habit of talking to himself when he was alone?" "I don't know," said the Irishman. "Come now man, you don't know and yet you pretend you were intimately acquainted with the deceased?" "Well, Mr. Lawyer," said Kelly, "I never happened to be with him when he was alone." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Sondra Earle Kelly, 51, Charlotte, North Carolina Woman charged with aggravated violence after she assaulted hubby with nunchucks, when he refused to have sex with her. A woman allegedly battered her husband with nunchucks because he refused to have sex with her. Sondra Earle-Kelly, 51, is alleged first to have hurled ceramic figurines at her lover when he refused stop watching TV and go to bed with her. Then she reportedly grabbed a pair of nunchucks and began to beat him with them. Police found blood on the walls of the couple’s apartment. Earle-Kelly, who was also said to have taken a tranquiliser tablets over the course of the evening, has been charged with aggravated domestic violence. She spent the night in a Charlotte, North Carolina police cell and is to appear in court next month. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Dora Re: How to deal with power outages Dear Webby You used to live in the bush and probably know. What is the best way to cope with long power outages aside from buying new laptop batteries every 3-4 months ? Dora Dear Dora Well, I didn't really learn about power outages until I moved to the city. In the bush I had solar panels that charged my batteries and a home-made inverter to turn that into regular household electricity. You can do the same thing in town, but instead of expensive solar panels, just get an automotive style battery charger. And a car battery. For the inverter you can buy one or a bunch of those Statpower or similar car adapters that plug into the cigarette lighter and produce regular household electricity. Run your computer off that adapter and you will never notice power outages. Whenever there IS power, the battery charger will charge the battery, but the battery will always provide juice to the adapter. An added fringe benefit is that the battery will absorb any surges coming down the line. For a Laptop and a light get a 150 Watt inverter, for a desktop with a small monitor get a 500 Watt inverter, and for a desktop with a large monitor get a 600 Watt inverter. One or two car batteries will easily carry you over any power outages. You can reduce power consumption by using LED or compact spiral fluorescent lights. Home Depot sells LED ceiling lights, that produce very bright light for an entire room and have totally negligible power consumption. If you just need light for your desk, get a "Z" arm desk light and put a 7 Watt compact fluorescent into it. The best place to keep your batteries and charger is in a flower box outside a window. You can cover them with some empty egg cartons and grow your salad herbs in those. The warmth coming from the charger will extend the season for them quite remarkably. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Overheard while waiting in line at the bank: Don't wear your glasses on a blind date. You'll look better, and he will too. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Meatloaf "Cupcakes" Who says you can't play with your food? Have a little fun with boring meatloaf by shaping them like cupcakes! Top with mashed potatoes and a dot of ketchup on top. Gave everyone a laugh when I served it. It could also be a cute April Fool's dinner for the family. Approximate Time: 45 minutes Yield: 16 individual cupcakes Ingredients: 1 1/2 lb ground meat (I used beef) 1/2 cup bread crumbs pinch of your favorite spices (I use fresh basil, garlic, cumin) 1/2 onion, diced 1 egg instant mashed potatoes for "icing ketchup Steps: Mix together meat with spices, egg, and bread crumbs. Meatloaf "Cupcakes" Form into small balls the size of your palm, and add to muffin tins. Cook at 375 degrees F for 30 to 45 minutes or until done to your liking. Whip up some mashed potatoes Place one big dollop of potatoes on top of individual meatballs. You may use a pastry bag if you really want them to look like icing. I used an ice scoop. Dot the mashed potatoes with a "cherry" of ketchup on top. Note: I actually froze one tray of six for later use since we were only 3 people and didn't need all those 'cupcakes' at one meal. By Donna [308] To get less shrinkage and more flavor, you can use stuffing instead of the bread crumbs. Since stuffing is usually already seasoned, you can cut back on the salt, that is missing in the above recipe. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ >From Ann While carpenters were working outside the old house I had just bought, I busied myself with indoor cleaning. I had just finished washing the floor when one of the workmen asked to use the bathroom. With dismay I looked from his muddy boots to my newly scrubbed floors. "Just a minute," I said, thinking of a quick solution. "I'll put down newspapers." "That's all right, lady," he responded. "I'm already potty-trained." ___________________________________________________
cool questions to ask Siri
____________________________________________________ On vacation one year I went to a resort in Wyoming. As part of the usual activities, a neighboring ranch invited guests from our resort to participate in a cattle drive. After watching 25 make-believe cowpokes whooping and hollering, I rode up to the ranch owner and asked her how many cowboys it normally takes to drive a herd of that size. "One," she replied, "and a dog." ____________________________________________________ A mouse returned from the laboratory to his cage and told a fellow mouse, "I've finally got Dr. Snooker trained." "You have?" asked the other. "Yes, explained the first mouse. "Every time I press down the bar, he gives me food." ____________________________________________________
Chinese Human Kaleidoscope

Today, January 27, in
1606 The trial of Guy Fawkes and his fellow conspirators began. 
 They were executed on January 31. 
1880 Thomas Edison patented the electric incandescent lamp. 
1900 In China, foreign diplomats in Peking, fearing a revolt, 
 demanded that the imperial government discipline the Boxer 
 rebels. 
1926 John Baird, a Scottish inventor, demonstrated a 
 pictorial transmission machine called television. 
1943 During World War II, the first all American air raid 
 against Germany took place when about 50 bombers attacked
 Wilhlemshaven. 
1944 The Soviet Union announced that the two year German 
 siege of Leningrad had come to an end. 
1945 Soviet troops liberated the Nazi concentration camps 
 Auschwitz and Birkenau in Poland three weeks after German 
 troops had abandoned them. 
1948 Wire Recording Corporation of America announced the 
 first magnetic tape recorder. The ‘Wireway’ machine with 
 a built-in oscillator sold for $149.50. 
1951 In the U.S., atomic testing in the Nevada desert began 
 as an Air Force plane dropped a one-kiloton bomb on 
 Frenchman Flats. 
1967 At Cape Kennedy, FL, astronauts Virgil I. "Gus" Grissom, 
 Edward H. White and Roger B. Chaffee died in a flash fire 
 during a test aboard their Apollo I spacecraft. 
1967 More than 60 nations signed the Outer Space Treaty which 
 banned the orbiting of nuclear weapons and placing weapons 
 on celestial bodies or space stations. 
1973 The Vietnam peace accords were signed in Paris. 
1977 The Vatican reaffirmed the Roman Catholic Church's ban 
 on female priests. 
1981 U.S. President Reagan greeted the 52 former American 
 hostages released by Iran when Reagan won the presdency 
 at the White House. 
1984 Wayne Gretzky set a National Hockey League (NHL) record for 
 consecutive game scoring. He ended the streak at 51 games. 
1985 The Coca-Cola Company, of Atlanta, GA, announced a plan 
 to sell its soft drinks in the Soviet Union. 
1992 Former world boxing champion Mike Tyson went on trial 
 for allegedly raping an 18-year-old contestant in the 1991 
 Miss Black America Contest. 
1997 It was revealed that French national museums were holding 
 nearly 2,000 works of art stolen from Jews by the Nazis 
 during World War II. 
1998 U.S. First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton appeared on NBC's 
 "Today" show. She charged that the allegations against her 
 husband were the work of a "vast right-wing conspiracy." 
1999 The U.S. Senate blocked dismissal of the impeachment 
 case against President Clinton and voted for new testimony 
 from Monica Lewinsky and two other witnesses. 
2002 A series of explosions occurred at a military dump 
 in Lagos, Nigeria. More than 1,000 people were killed in 
 the blast and in the attempt to escape. 
2003 Altria Group, Inc. became the name of the parent company 
 of Kraft Foods, Philip Morris USA, Philip Morris 
 International and Philip Morris Capital Corporation. 
2010 Steve Jobs unveiled the Apple iPad.
2015  smiled.


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Laptop versus desktop 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, January 26

Happy Australia Day!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida woman, who was arrested after she ended a low speed chase right on the lawn of the police station. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, in 1788 The first European settlers in Australia, led by Captain Arthur Phillip, landed in what became known as Sydney. The group had first settled at Botany Bay eight days before. This day is celebrated as Australia Day. History ______________________________________________________ Every man is the architect of his own fortune. --- Sallust (86 BC - 34 BC) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Liz For their 20th anniversary Nina and her husband vacationed in Hawaii, where they went snorkeling. After an hour in the water, everyone got back on the boat, except for Nina and one handsome young man. As she continued her underwater exploring, she noticed that everywhere she swam to, he swam. Nina snorkeled for another 40 minutes. So did he. Nina felt very flattered and, as she took off my fins, asked him coyly why he had stayed in the water for so long. "I'm the lifeguard," he replied matter-of-factly. "It's my job to stay in the water till the last tourist is back on the boat." ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ A little boy went to the store with his grandmother and on the way home, he was looking at the things she had purchased. He found a package of panty hose and began to sound out the words "Queen Size". He then turned to his grandmother and exclaimed, "Grandma, are these for mom ? They are the same size as mom's bed!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Lisa Myers, 56, New Port Richey, Floriduh Florida woman was arrested after she ended a low speed chase right on the lawn of the police station. The subject of a pursuit on U-S 19 drives right to the police station, although that probably wasn't what she intended. Pasco Deputies say 56 year old Lisa Myers was driving north on 19 at Marine Parkway, and they noticed she was falling asleep at the wheel. When the deputy and a New Port Richey officer tried to pull her over, the sheriff's office says, Myers tried to run the cop over, and almost hit a patrol car during the low speed chase that followed. Myers ended up in the police parking lot, drove over a curb and onto the lawn, then she backed up and hit a cruiser. She is facing several charges, including aggravated assault of a law enforcement officer, fleeing to elude, and and investigation is ongoing to determine whether she was under the influence of drugs or alcohol or both. Investigators say they also found a gun inside her car. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Deb Re: Difference between laptop and desktop computers Dear Webby You mentioned laptops and desktops. What is the difference between laptops and desktops, aside from looks ? Deb Dear Deb As far as computer performance is concered, there is absolutely no difference whatsoever. Desktops use leftover powersupplies from the 1980's that pull dustbunnies and pet hair in through the CD drives, regulate the power by heating up that air and then blow the cleaned and heated air out the back through a noisy old fan. Laptops use power supplies from the 1990's and 2000's with smaller and quieter fans that pull the air in through a grill on the bottom. Those newer power supplies are a lot more efficient and don't produce anywhere near as much heat, even though they have the monitor, keyboard, touchpad and battery included. Also, with laptops, part of the waste heat is already gotten rid of by the coffee warmer, ahem battery charger. Both desktops and laptops have a metal box to shield magnetic radiation, that could annoy your TV watching spouse, but the laptop in addition to that has a cute plastic skin over that. Since the chips and electronics inside are the same, it must be the battery, monitor and plastic skin that cause laptops to still be a bit more expensive, but as the old 1980's stockpiles of power supplies and cases are getting used up, the prices are getting closer. Dell, for example, has quite decent laptops for under $500. Performance is identical, but desktops produce a lot more noise and heat. In the old days hard drives used to be a deciding factor, because with desktops you could stick additional hard drives in. Nowadays, you just use external hard drives plugged into a USB port. With external hard drives it makes no difference what kind of drive it is. No need to match the machine's connfiguration. Batteries used to be a concern, but if you just use the machine in your office, it will always be plugged in and the battery will last as long as the rest of the machine. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ One night a father was helping his son with his homework. The father asked "What is the Gross National Product?" His son pondered for a minute and replied, "Spinach?" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Chocolate Orange Fudge Brownies My husband and I are huge fans of Terry's Chocolate Oranges, the orange shaped chocolate balls that have a yummy hint of orange. I made this recipe out of the blue and it turned out WAY better than I thought it would. It is so elegant, rich and super easy to make. My version only has five ingredients. Approximate Time: 45 to 55 minutes Yield: 9 to 12 brownies Ingredients: 1 pkg plain brownie mix (I used a generic 10.25 ounce pack) 1 medium/large orange 1/4 cup oil 1 egg 2/3 cup chocolate chips or chunks (I chopped up candy bars) Steps: Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Take the zest off the whole orange. Chocolate Orange Fudge BrowniesChocolate Orange Fudge Brownies Separate orange zest equally in two bowls. Put one aside. Chocolate Orange Fudge Brownies Cut the orange into segments and squeeze the juice into one of the orange zest bowls. It should give you about half a cup of juice. Crack open and whisk your egg. Add orange juice and zest mixture into egg. Mix in the oil. Add package of brownie powder. Mix well, stirring at least 50 times. Add chocolate chips/chunks to your batter. Pour batter into a greased pan. Sprinkle the top with reserved orange zest. Depending on the size of your pan, bake from 35 to 40 minutes (do a toothpick test). Cool, cut into squares, and serve! By attosa [164] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ An architect, an artist and a engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress,because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the office and get some work done." ___________________________________________________
Doritos baby can't wait
____________________________________________________ >From Dotty AN ADVERTISEMENT in our local newspaper read: "Boyfriend wanted for female Siamese cat. Object: Kittens. Terms negotiable." Since I had a male Siamese, I called the party. The woman offered $ l0 an hour as a stud fee. I said, "You mean if it takes three hours, I'll get thirty dollars?" The woman answered, "Yes." Then I asked, "Suppose it takes six hours. Will I get sixty dollars?" After a long pause, the woman asked, "Just how old is your cat?" ____________________________________________________ My Parents had not been out together in quite some time. One Saturday, as Mom was finishing the dinner dishes, my father stepped up behind her and asked. "Would you like to go out, girl?" Not even turning around, my mother quickly replied, "Oh, yes, I'd love to!" They had a wonderful evening, and it wasn't until the end of the evening that Dad finally confessed that his question had actually been directed to the family dog, laying near Mom's feet on the kitchen floor. ____________________________________________________
Big dogs who think they are still puppies.

Today, January 26, in
1500 Vicente Yáñez Pinzón discovered Brazil. 
1736 Stanislaus I formally abdicated as King of Poland. 
1784 In a letter to his daughter, Benjamin Franklin expressed 
 unhappiness over the eagle as the symbol of America. He 
 wanted the symbol to be the turkey. 
1788 The first European settlers in Australia, led by Captain 
 Arthur Phillip, landed in what became known as Sydney. 
 The group had first settled at Botany Bay eight days before. 
 This day is celebrated as Australia Day. 
1827 Peru seceded from Colombia in protest against Simón 
 Bolívar's alleged tyranny. 
1837 Michigan became the 26th state to join the United States. 
1841 Britain formally occupied Hong Kong, which the Chinese 
 had ceded to the British. 
1861 In the U.S., Louisiana seceded from the Union. 
1870 The state of Virgina rejoined the Union. 
1875 George F. Green patented the electric dental drill 
 for sawing, filing, dressing and polishing teeth. 
1905 The Cullinan diamond, at 3,106.75 carats, was found 
 by Captain Wells at the Premier Mine, near Pretoria, 
 South Africa. 
1911 Inventor Glenn H. Curtiss flew the first successful 
 seaplane. 
1939 In the Spanish Civil War, Franco's forces, with 
 Italian aid, took Barcelona. 
1942 The first American expeditionary force to go to Europe 
 during World War II went ashore in Northern Ireland. 
1950 India officially proclaimed itself a republic as 
 Rajendra Prasad took the oath of office as president. 
1950 The American Associated Insurance Companies, of 
 St. Louis, MO, issued the first baby sitter’s insurance policy. 
1962 The U.S. launched Ranger 3 to land scientific instruments 
 on the moon. The probe missed its target by about 22,000 miles. 
1965 Hindi was made the official language of India. 
1969 California was declared a disaster area two days of 
 flooding and mudslides. 
1972 In Hermsdorf, Czechoslovakia, a JAT Yugoslav Airlines 
 flight crashed after the detonation of a bomb in the forward 
 cargo hold killing 27 people. The bomb was believed to have 
 been placed on the plane by a Croatian extremist group. 
 Vesna Vulovic, a stewardess, survived after falling 33,000 
 feet in the tail section. She broke both legs and became 
 paralyzed from the waist down. 
1979 The ‘Gizmo’ guitar synthesizer was first demonstrated. 
1993 Former Czechoslovak President Vaclav Havel was elected 
 president of the new Czech Republic. 
1994 In Sydney, Australia, a young man lunged at and fired 
 two blank shots at Britain's Prince Charles. 
1996 U.S. First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton testified before 
 a grand jury concerning the Whitewater probe. 
1998 U.S. President Clinton denied having an affair with a 
 former White House intern, saying "I did not have sexual 
 relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky." 
1999 Saddam Hussein vowed revenge against the U.S. in response 
 to air-strikes that reportedly killed civilians. The strikes 
 were U.S. planes defending themselves against anti-aircraft fire. 
2009 The Icelandic government and banking system collapsed. 
 Prime Minister Geir Haarde resigned. 
2010 It was announced that James Cameron's movie "Avatar" had 
 become the highest-grossing film worldwide. 
2015  smiled.


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Indoor pictures look flat 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, January 25

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Ohio mom, who was arrested for using a toilet as a baby pen for 20 months old baby, while she went shopping. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, January 25 1504 The English Parliament passed statutes against retainers and liveries to curb private warfare. History ______________________________________________________ Martyrdom... is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Cassie was a really good mom. Once, after her small son fell into the pond and came home with his good school clothes dripping wet, she sent him to his room while she washed and dried his clothes. A little later, Cassie heard a commotion in the back yard. She called out "Are you out there wetting your pants again!?" There was dead silence for a moment. Then a deep, masculine voice answered meekly, "No, ma'am, I'm just reading the meter." ______________________________________________________ As a new school Principal, Mr. Mitchell was checking over his school on the first day. Passing the stockroom, he was startled to see the door wide open and teachers bustling in and out, carrying off books and supplies in preparation for the arrival of students the next day. The school where he had been a Principal the previous year had used a check-out system only slightly less elaborate than that at Fort Knox. Cautiously, he asked the school's long time Custodian, "Do you think it's wise to keep the stock room unlocked and to let the teachers take things without requisitions?" The Custodian looked at him gravely. "We trust them with the children, don't we?"
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______________________________________________________ One time when I was home visiting my folks, my mom asked me to set the table for dinner. I opened the refrigerator and taped to the inside of the door was a risque picture of a lovely, slender, perfectly built, but scantily-clad young woman. "Mom, what's this?" I asked. "Oh, I put that up there to remind me not to over-eat," she answered. "Is it working?" I asked. "Yes and no," she explained. "I've lost 15 pounds, but your dad has gained 20!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Justice Chance,20, Rashaan Cuffee, 20, Canton, Ohio Ohio mom, who was arrested for using a toilet as a baby pen for 20 months old baby, while she went shopping. Two people in Ohio are facing charges after their 20-month-old son was found stuck in a toilet after being left home alone. Police were called to an apartment on Kingston Drive Southeast in Canton on Thursday after neighbors reported hearing a child crying for more than 30 minutes, according to WJW. A maintenance worker for the building complex allowed police inside the apartment, where they found the 20-month-old boy stuck in a toilet. The child was home alone at the time, according to police. Officers freed the boy from the toilet and notified Child Protective Services. Officers also located three marijuana plants inside the home. The child's mother, Justice Chance, 20, was found two hours later walking up to the apartment complex while carrying Walmart bags. Investigators believe she left the child alone and went to Walmart. Chance told police her sister was supposed to be babysitting the child but she could not provide police her sister's last name, according to The Independent. Chance and the boy's father, Rashaan Cuffee, 20, were each charged with child endangering and marijuana cultivation. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Sue Re: Flat looking indoor pictures Dear Webby All my indoor pictures with my digital camera turn out flat looking. Outside pictures are fine. Can you tell me what to do so that my inside pictures look better? Thanks Sue Dear Sue Stop using the built in flash. Use an auxiliary flash if you have to, a movie light if you can. Position it above and to the side of you, at least an arms length away from you. If you use more than one, bunch them together all on the same side of you. Otherwise you kill the shadows and ruin the contrast. It's the shadows that give pictures a realistic three dimensional look. Without shadows most textures get lost and you get flat looking pictures. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A Kindergarten teacher had a student approach her and saying that he found a frog lying still on the playground. The teacher asked, "Well, is it dead or alive?" The student said, "I think it's dead." The teacher asked, "How do you know?" The boy said, "I pssed in its ear". The teacher said "YOU DID WHAT?" He said, "You know, I went to his ear and said,'PSST!' and it didn't move. So it must be dead." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Chocolate Orange Fudge Brownies My husband and I are huge fans of Terry's Chocolate Oranges, the orange shaped chocolate balls that have a yummy hint of orange. I made this recipe out of the blue and it turned out WAY better than I thought it would. It is so elegant, rich and super easy to make. My version only has five ingredients. Approximate Time: 45 to 55 minutes Yield: 9 to 12 brownies Ingredients: 1 pkg plain brownie mix (I used a generic 10.25 ounce pack) 1 medium/large orange 1/4 cup oil 1 egg 2/3 cup chocolate chips or chunks (I chopped up candy bars) Steps: Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Take the zest off the whole orange. Chocolate Orange Fudge BrowniesChocolate Orange Fudge Brownies Separate orange zest equally in two bowls. Put one aside. Chocolate Orange Fudge Brownies Cut the orange into segments and squeeze the juice into one of the orange zest bowls. It should give you about half a cup of juice. Crack open and whisk your egg. Add orange juice and zest mixture into egg. Mix in the oil. Add package of brownie powder. Mix well, stirring at least 50 times. Add chocolate chips/chunks to your batter. Pour batter into a greased pan. Sprinkle the top with reserved orange zest. Depending on the size of your pan, bake from 35 to 40 minutes (do a toothpick test). Cool, cut into squares, and serve! By attosa [164] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Mr. Jones patted his daughter's hand fondly, and told her, "Your young man told me today he wanted you as a bride, and I gave my consent.." Oh, Papa," gushed the daughter, "it's going to be so hard leaving mother." "I understand perfectly, my dear," beamed Mr. Jones. "You just take her with you." ___________________________________________________
night skiing with LED lights
____________________________________________________ The future father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support a family?" The surprised groom-to-be replied, "Well, no. I was just planning to support your daughter. The rest of you will have to fend for yourselves." ____________________________________________________ Two youngsters were walking home from Sunday School, each deep in his own thoughts. Finally one said, "What do you think about all this devil business we studied today?" The other boy replied thoughtfully, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. This is probably just Uncle Bob, too." ____________________________________________________
Glimpses into the past.

Today, January 25, in
1504 The English Parliament passed statutes against retainers 
 and liveries to curb private warfare. 
1533 England's King Henry VIII secretly married his second wife 
 Anne Boleyn. Boleyn later gave birth to Elizabeth I. 
1579 The Treaty of Utrecht was signed marking the beginning of 
 the Dutch Republic. 
1799 Eliakim Spooner patented the seeding machine. 
1858 Mendelssohn’s "Wedding March" was presented for the first 
 time at the wedding of the daughter of Queen Victoria and the 
 Crown Prince of Prussia. 
1870 G.D. Dows patented the ornamental soda fountain. 
1881 Thomas Edison, Alexander Graham Bell and others signed an 
 agreement to organize the Oriental Telephone Company. 
1890 The United Mine Workers of America was founded. 
1915 In New York, Alexander Graham Bell spoke to his assistant in 
 San Francisco, inaugurating the first transcontinental telephone 
 service. 
1924 The 1st Winter Olympic Games were inaugurated in Chamonix in 
 the French Alps. 
1946 The United Mine Workers rejoined American Federation of Labor. 
1959 In the U.S., American Airlines had the first scheduled 
 transcontinental flight of a Boeing 707. 
1961 John F. Kennedy presented the first live presidential news 
 conference from Washington, DC. The event was carried on radio 
 and television. 
1971 Maj. Gen. Idi Amin led a coup that deposed Milton Obote and 
 became president of Uganda. 
1981 The 52 Americans held hostage by Iran for 444 days arrived in 
 the United States and were reunited with their families. 
1999 In Louisville, KY, a man received the first hand transplant 
 in the United States. 
2011 A revolution began in Egypt with the demonstrations that 
 demanded the end of President Hosni Mubarak's rule. 
2015  smiled.


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Is the Ezinefinder still broken? 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, January 23

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a California Drug Investigator Busted Smuggling Pot Cross-Country Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, January 23 1556 An earthquake in Shanxi Province, China, was thought to have killed about 830,000 people. History ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater. --- Gail Godwin "The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it." --- W. M. Lewis ______________________________________________________ Daffinitions: Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer, you know. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ Toward the end of our senior year in high school, we were required to take a CPR course. The classes used the well known mannequin victim, Resusci-Annie, to practice. Typical of most models, this Resusci-Annie was only a torso, to allow for storage in a carrying case. The class went off in groups to practice. As instructed, one of my classmates gently shook the doll and asked "Are you all right?" He then put his ear over the mannequin's mouth to listen for breathing. Suddenly he turned to the instructor and exclaimed, "She said she can't feel her legs!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Walter the Stonecarver, also from AFIMSO.ORG Aside from his own work, Walter is helping to restore statues in the famous Staglieno cemetery in Italy. As you can see, the statues show damage by hundreds of years of pollution and are in dire need of restorative work. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Christopher Mark Heath, 37, Yuba, California California Drug Investigator Busted Smuggling Pot Cross-Country As a drug investigator in Yuba County, California, Christopher Mark Heath made a living tracking down smugglers selling locally harvested marijuana. Now the former Marine is accused of crossing the line and joining the traffickers, a turn that could undermine dozens of cases he worked as a deputy sheriff in one of the country's most productive, and policed, pot-growing regions. Heath, 37, and two of his alleged partners from northern California were arrested late last month in rural West Manheim Township, Pennsylvania, after police said they intercepted a planned delivery. In the men's pickup trucks, officers found more than 122 pounds of pot and about $11,000 cash. Heath admitted that they'd driven the bundles — worth an estimated $2 million — across the country, according to court documents. At the time, Heath was on vacation as a member of a narcotics task force covering Yuba and Sutter counties, north of Sacramento, authorities said. He had his badge and service gun in his car, York County District Attorney Tom Kearney said in a news conference Monday. Heath has been released after posting $1 million bail with help from a bond company, according to court documents. He and his alleged partners are due to appear in a York County, Pennsylvania courtroom next month. He has been placed on leave from the Yuba County Sheriff's Office. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Robin Re: Re: Can't cast vote, Dear Webby Re: Can't cast vote. Is the Ezinefinder down? Robin Dear Robin Yes, I know that the Ezinefinder is not working, and has not worked since December. I have written to them a few times, but they don't respond to me. I guess they think the big Linux bully is picking on the widdle MAC people. You can try writing to lewis@cumuli.com support@cumuli.com support@thriftyfun.com thrifty@thriftyfun.com They MIGHT answer you. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ An Irishman walks into a bar, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender asks him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time." The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the day when we drank together." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: He orders three pints and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss." The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs. "Oh, no," he says, "everyone's fine. It's just me. I've quit drinking." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Gluten Free Lemon Bars These are the best lemon bars I've ever tasted. I tweaked the recipe a little to make them gluten free so my Mom could enjoy them, too. Easy to make and delicious! Approximate Time: 40 minutes Yield: 9-12 depending on how you cut them Ingredients: Crust 1/2 cup butter-softened 1/3 cup sugar 1 cup gluten free Bisquick Pam cooking spray Filling 3/4 cup sugar 2 eggs 3 Tbsp gluten free Bisquick zest from 1 large lemon juice from 1 large lemon Topping powdered sugar Steps: Combine softened butter, sugar and gluten free Bisquick in a bowl and mix together until it resembles coarse crumbs. Spray a 9x9 inch baking dish with Pam. Be sure to get the sides sprayed well too. Press crumb mixture into the bottom of dish. Pack down well, especially around the edges. Bake this at 350 degrees F for 15-17 minutes until edges are brown. While this is cooking mix the eggs, sugar and Bisquick together in a bowl. Grate lemon peel from a large lemon and then juice the lemon and add to mixture. Beat on medium speed until blended. Once the crust is finished cooking, pour the wet mixture on top of crust. Be sure to stir the mixture up real good right before pouring over crust. Return to oven and continue baking until top is golden; about 20 minutes. When done remove from oven and sprinkle with powdered sugar. While still hot, take a spatula and gently go around the edges of the dish. This will make removal easier once it has cooled. Once it is cooled, cut into squares and enjoy! Source: Bethel Methodist Church cookbook By Ida Claire [6] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school the officer was interrupted by a little girl about six years old. Looking up and down at his uniform, she asked, "Are you a police officer?" "Yes," he answered, and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," he told her. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward him, "would you please tie my shoe?" ------------- That is getting to be a common state of affairs. Kids, who have microwaved their brain with cell phones have great difficulties tying proper knots or sewing on buttons. ___________________________________________________
Man sings puppies to sleep
____________________________________________________ The worried housewife sprang to the telephone when it rang and listened with relief to the kindly voice in her ear. "How are you, darling?" it said. "What kind of a day are you having?" "Oh, mother," said the housewife, breaking into bitter tears, "I've had such a bad day. The baby won't eat and the washing machine broke down. I haven't had a chance to go shopping, and besides, I've just sprained my ankle and I have to hobble around. On top of that, the house is a mess and I'm supposed to have two couples over for dinner tonight." The mother was shocked and was at once all sympathy. "Oh, darling," she said, "sit down, relax, and close your eyes. I'll be over in half an hour. I'll do your shopping, clean up the house, and cook your dinner for you. I'll feed the baby and I'll call a repairman I know who'll be at your house to fix the washing machine promptly. Now stop crying. I'll do everything. In fact, I'll even call George at the office and tell him he ought to come home and help out for once." "George?" said the housewife. "Who's George?" "Why, George! Your husband!....Isn't this 223-1374? "No, this is 322-1374." "Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I have the wrong number." There was a short pause and the housewife said, "Does this mean you're not coming over?" ____________________________________________________ >From Deacon Jerry I've been barred in CPR courses from practicing on ResusciAnnie until I finish writing my book, "How to give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation without getting emotionally involved." ____________________________________________________
http://biggeekdad.com/2015/11/rachel-pl ... ish-cover/ "> I love the bagpipes and this is lovely music. I also love men in Kilts.

Today, January 23, in
1556 An earthquake in Shanxi Province, China, was thought to 
 have killed about 830,000 people.
1845 The U.S. Congress decided all national elections would 
 be held on the first Tuesday after the first Monday in November. 
1920 The Dutch government refused the demands from the Allies 
 to hand over the ex-kaiser of Germany. 
1937 In Moscow, seventeen people went on trial during Josef 
 Stalin's "Great Purge." 
1943 The British captured Tripoli from the Germans. 
1950 The Israeli Knesset approved a resolution proclaiming 
 Jerusalem as the capital of Israel. 
1960 The U.S. Navy bathyscaphe Trieste descended to a record 
 depth of 35,820 feet (10,750 meters) in the Pacific Ocean. 
1968 North Korea seized the U.S. Navy ship Pueblo, charging 
 it had intruded into the nation's territorial waters on a 
 spying mission. The crew was released 11 months later. 
 They kept the ship.
1971 In Prospect Creek Camp, AK, the lowest temperature ever 
 recorded in the U.S. was reported as minus 80 degrees. 
1973 U.S. President Nixon announced that an accord had been 
 reached to end the Vietnam War. 
1978 Sweden banned aerosol sprays because of damage to 
 environment. They were the first country to do so. 
1983 "The A-Team" debuted on TV. 
1985 O.J. Simpson became the first Heisman Trophy winner to 
 be elected to pro football’s Hall of Fame in Canton, OH. 
1989 Surrealist artist Salvador Dali died in Spain at age 84. 
1997 A judge in Fairfax, VA, sentenced Mir Aimal Kasi to death 
 for an assault rifle attack outside the CIA headquarters in 
 1993 that killed two men and wounded three other people. 
1997 A British woman received a record £186,000 damages for 
 Repetitive Strain Injury (RSI). 
2001 A van used by the remaining two fugitives of the "Texas 7" 
 was recovered in Colorado Springs, CO. A few hours later 
 police surrounded a hotel where the convicts were hiding. 
 Patrick Murphy Jr. and Donald Newbury were taken into custody 
 the next morning without incident. 
2002 John Walker Lindh returned to the U.S. under FBI custody. 
 Lindh was charged with conspiring to kill U.S. citizens, 
 providing support to terrorists and engaging in prohibited 
 transactions with the Taliban while a member of the 
 al-Quaida terrorist organization in Afghanistan. 
2003 North Korea announced that it would consider sanctions 
 about North Korea's reinstatement of its nuclear program 
 an act of war.
2015  smiled.


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How do I close an account on FaceBook? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, January 22
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Kentucky woman arrested for assaulting, robbing disabled man after he jokes that he doesn't believe in God Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, January 22 1666 - Shah Jahan, a descendant of Genghis Khan and Timur, died at the age of 74. He was the Mongol emperor of India who built the Taj Mahal as a mausoleum for his wife Mumtaz-i-Mahal. History ______________________________________________________ O, what may man within him hide, though angel on the outward side! William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616) A little nonsense now and then, is cherished by the wisest men. --- Roald Dahl Ours is the age that is proud of machines that think and suspicious of men who try to. -- H. Mumford Jones ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Anagrams The Morse Code Here come Dots Slot Machines Cash Lost in 'em Animosity Is No Amity Mother-in-law Woman Hitler Snooze Alarms Alas! No More Z's Alec Guinness Genuine Class SemolinaIs No Meal The Public Art Galleries Large Picture Halls, I Bet A Decimal Point I'm a Dot in Place The Earthquakes That Queer Shake Eleven plus two Twelve plus one Contradiction Accord not in it Astronomer Moon Starer ______________________________________________________
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At one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been canceled for the second year in a row, but the semi-annual physical fitness test was still on as planned. One soldier mused, "Does it bother anyone else that the Army doesn't seem to care how well we can shoot, but they are extremely interested in how fast we can run?" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Laura Reid, 49, Louisville, Kentucky Kentucky woman arrested for assaulting, robbing disabled man after he jokes that he doesn't believe in God A woman was arrested at the Hall of Justice in downtown Louisville Tuesday afternoon, months after police say she assaulted and robbed a man after he joked that he did not believe in God. According to an arrest warrant, the incident took place on Oct. 20, but Reid was not arrested until she was seen at the Hall of Justice on January 5. Police say that 49-year-old Laura Reid was visiting a disabled man in his home. At one point, police say, Reid asked the victim if he believed in God, and he jokingly replied that he did not. According to an arrest warrant, Reid became angry with his response, so she picked up his metal cane and began beating him on the head and body, hitting him so hard that the cane broke. Police say the victim was unable to leave his home because of his disability, and Reid stayed there for three hours after the assault. When she finally left, she allegedly took the man's cell phone, keys, $50 cash and a wallet containing credit cards. Police say the man eventually crawled to a nearby gas station, where police and EMS were called. The man was taken to St. Mary and Elizabeth Hospital, where he was treated for injuries he sustained, including a concussion, a broken arm, multiple bruises, as well as cuts and abrasions. The victim was eventually able to cancel his credit cards -- and identify Reid, who was known to him, according to police. A warrant was issued for Reid's arrest on Thursday, Oct. 29. She was arrested by Jefferson County Sheriff's Office deputies on Tuesday, Jan. 5, at the Hall of Justice. She is charged with second degree assault, second degree robbery, and first degree unlawful imprisonment. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Pennie Re: How do I close an account on FaceBook? Dear Webby Hope things are well on your side. I have a question about Facebook and would be very pleased if you can help. Somehow I created 2 profiles and now I do not know how to delete the one -- it is rather confusing to my friends. I will be ever so thankful if you have a solution -- with all the experience you have about computers and programs I am sure you will be able to help. Thank you for all the newsletters, I know you use a lot of time compiling them. Take care and keep warm. Pennie Dear Pennie To deactivate your account: Click the account menu at the top right of any Facebook page. Select Settings. Click Security in the left column. Choose Deactivate your account then follow the steps to confirm. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ By the time Ted arrived at the football game, the first quarter was almost over. "Why are you so late?" his friend asked. "I had to toss a coin to decide between going to church and coming to the game." "How long could that have taken you?" "Well, I had to toss it 174 times." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Homemade Cookie Butter Homemade Cookie Butter Cookie butter is one of my favourite indulgences. If you haven't had it before, it's similar to peanut butter, only it's made out of cookies. I stopped buying it from the shops when I realized I could make it for 1/6th of the price by myself with ingredients I already have at home. Plus, its faster to make than it takes me to get to the store that carries it! I happen to have an excess of ginger oat cookies from the holidays. You can use any dry cookie or graham cracker. Just add a pinch of cinnamon and nutmeg if you'd like the popular leading brand cookie butter taste. Approximate Time: 10 minutes Yield: 15 servings Ingredients: 4 oz cookies (I used ginger oatmeal) 1/4 cup powdered sugar 1 Tbsp brown sugar 1/4 cup oil (vegetable, canola, or coconut) Steps: Break up the cookies and add to food processor along with powdered and brown sugars. Pulse until finely ground. Pour into a bowl. Working in little batches, return the ground cookie and sugar mixture to the food processor and pulse again to turn into fine powder (I did it four times). With the food processor running, slowly add the oil, stopping and scraping down the sides and mixing. It will take a minute or two to get to a nice creamy consistency. Serve with toast, bagels, waffles, pancakes, or drizzle on ice cream. It's very versatile! I like to jar it up and give it as gifts. If sealed nicely, it will keep well at room temperature for a few weeks. By attosa [163] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A beautiful woman walked into an orchard and found a lovely pool in it. She decided to go skinny-dipping. She looked around, didn't see anyone, and undressed. Just as she was about to dive in, the orchard owner appeared and told her that swimming was prohibited because there was pesticide and fertilizer run-off in the water. "You could have told me that before I undressed!" she scolded him. "Just don't swim in that", he replied, "But undressing is quite OK, and you can sun-tan as long as you want." ___________________________________________________
the new angel
____________________________________________________ Classified Ads: ~ 2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, perfect markings, 555-1234. Leave mess. ~ A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms. ~ For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers. ~ Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too. ~ Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children. ____________________________________________________ One man told me he'd been a long-haul truck driver. I told him: "I'd worry about falling asleep at the wheel, driving a relatively slow vehicle those long distances." "Here's a tip to stay awake," he offered. "Put a $100 bill in your left hand and hold it out the window." ____________________________________________________
Miniature horses as therapy animals are a great idea. I wanted to use one of my llamas as a therapy llama and visit nursing homes and hospitals, but didn’t get the chance to.

Today, January 22, in
1666 - Shah Jahan, a descendant of Genghis Khan and Timur, 
 died at the age of 74. He was the Mongol emperor of India 
 who built the Taj Mahal as a mausoleum for his wife 
 Mumtaz-i-Mahal. 
1771 The Falkland Islands were ceded to Britain by Spain. 
1824 The Asante army crushed British troops in the Gold Coast. 
1874 A patent was issued to Samuel W. Francis for spork. 
1879 British troops were massacred by the Zulus at Isandhlwana. 
1900 Off of South Africa, the British released the German steamer 
 Herzog, which had been seized on January 6. 
1901 Queen Victoria of England died after reigning for nearly 64 
 years. Edward VII, her son, succeeded her. 
1905 Insurgent workers were fired on in St Petersburg, Russia, 
 resulting in "Bloody Sunday." 500 people were killed. 
1917 U.S. President Wilson pleaded for an end to war in Europe, 
 calling for "peace without victory." America entered the war 
 the following April. 
1930 In New York, excavation began for the Empire State Building. 
1941 Britain captured Tobruk from German forces. 
1944 Allied forces began landing at Anzio, Italy, during WWII. 
1951 Fidel Castro was ejected from a Winter League baseball 
 game after hitting a batter. He later gave up baseball for 
 politics. 
1957 Suspected "Mad Bomber" was arrested in Waterbury, CT. 
 George P. Metesky was accused of planting more than 30 
 explosive devices in the New York City area. 
1957 The Israeli army withdrew from the Sinai. They had 
 invaded Egypt on October 29, 1956. 
1962 Cuba's membership in the Organization of American 
 States (OAS) was suspended. 
1964 Kenneth Kaunda was sworn in as the first Prime Minister 
 of Northern Rhodesia. 
1970 The first regularly scheduled commercial flight of the 
 Boeing 747 began in New York City and ended in London about 
 6 1/2 hours later. 
1972 The United Kingdom, the Irish Republic, and Denmark 
 joined the EEC. 
1973 Joe Frazier lost the first fight of his professional 
 career to George Foreman. He had been the undefeated 
 heavyweight world champion since February 16, 1970 when 
 he knocked out Jimmy Ellis. 
1973 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down state laws that had 
 been restricting abortions during the first six months of 
 pregnancy. The case (Roe vs. Wade) legalized abortion. 
1984 Apple introduced the Macintosh during the third quarter 
 of Super Bowl XVIII. 
1995 Two Palestinian suicide bombers from the Gaza Strip 
 detonated powerful explosives at a military transit point 
 in central Israel, killing 19 Israelis. 
1998 Theodore Kaczynski pled guilty to federal charges for his 
 role as the Unabomber. He agreed to life in prison without parole. 
2000 Elian Gonzalez's grandmothers met privately with U.S. 
 Attorney General Janet Reno as they appealed for help in removing 
 the boy from his Florida relatives and reuniting him with his 
 father in Cuba. 
2001 Acting on a tip, authorities captured four of the "Texas 7" 
 in Woodland Park, CO, at a convenience store. A fifth convict 
 killed himself inside a motor home. 
2002 In Calcutta, India, Heavily armed gunmen attacked the U.S. 
 government cultural center. Five police officers were killed and 
 twenty others, including one pedestrian and one private security 
 guard, were wounded. 
2002 Lawyers suing Enron Corp. asked a court to prevent further 
 shredding of documents due to the pending federal investigation. 
2002 AOL Time Warner filed suit against Microsoft in federal court 
 seeking damages for harm done to AOL's Netscape Internet Browser 
 when Microsoft began giving away its competing browser. 
2002 Kmart Corp. filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy making it the 
 largest retailer in history to seek legal protection from its 
 creditors. 
2003 It was reported that scientists in China had found fossilized 
 remains of a dinosaur with four feathered wings. 
2015  smiled.


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How to deal with autoresponders 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, January 21

 >From Mary
Again your advise has helped me. I was in need. Of ink and 
the extra one from Atlantic ink would not work.

I seen yesterdays humor for Comp Shop ink. I ordered my 
ink and last night I got a email saying they had shipped. 
Should be here by Friday.

Thats good service. Again Thanks
Mary :)


Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Drunk Wisconsin woman who was arrested after she drove off with the Sheriff's car, for her third DUI. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, January 21 2003 It was announced by the U.S. Census Bureau that estimates showed that the Hispanic population had passed the black population for the first time. History ______________________________________________________ Force is all-conquering, but its victories are short-lived. --- Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ While working as a volunteer at our local Boy Scout Council office, one of the professional staff -- who was wearing street clothes instead of her usual uniform -- was talking about the NATO phonetic alphabet. She said that she had learned it some years ago and proceeded to recite it. "Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta..." But, when she got to the letter "U," she stumbled and asked for help. I offered a hint: "What AREN'T you wearing today?" "Underwear?" she replied. ------- Uniform ______________________________________________________
Save up to 85% OFF retail prices on Ink & Toner - Click here
Although this married couple enjoyed their luxury fishing boat together, it was the husband who was behind the wheel operating the boat. He was concerned about what might happen in an emergency. So one day out on the lake he said to his wife, "Please take the wheel, dear. Pretend that I am having a heart attack. You must get the boat safely to shore." So she drove the boat to shore. Later that evening, the wife walked into the living room where her husband was watching television. She sat down next to him, switched the TV channel, and said to him, "Please go into the kitchen, dear. Pretend I'm having a heart attack. You must set the table, cook the dinner, and wash the dishes." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Sara Windom, 29, Baraboo, Wisconsin Drunk Wisconsin woman drives off with the Sheriff's car for her third DUI. The Juneau County Sheriff's Office says a Baraboo woman drove off in one of the office's squad cars early Saturday morning and now is accused of her third drunken driving offense. The office says a deputy and a state trooper were dealing with an intoxicated man and woman at a BP gas station in Lyndon Station. The woman, Sara Windom, left the convenience store and when the deputy looked outside he saw his patrol car was missing, and a witness reported the woman got in the squad car and went east on Interstate 90/94. The deputy and trooper got in the trooper's car, caught up with the stolen squad car and pulled over Windom, 29. She was arrested and taken to the Juneau County Jail. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Reg Re: Autoresponders Dear Webby I have to send regular announcements for the chamber to all members. That part is no problem, but some moron talked a number of members into using auto-responders on their mail and THAT is becoming quite a nuisance. How do you deal with that problem ? Reg Dear Reg Since people who use auto-responders never send any intelligent mail anyway, I use MailWSher to blacklist them and to filter all mail from their address straight into the trash. There are some nasty tricks that you could use, but I am quite sure simple trashing will take care of your problem. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ > From * I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few shots. They came out so well that I had copies made and included one with each of our Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically, and suggesting I take a closer look. Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to my son, I had captured my reflection in the mirror - wearing nothing but a camera! * Name withheld by request ______________________________________________________ If you can help with thecost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cheesy Baked Ziti It's my own version of baked ziti that Italian restaurants serve. If you make it at home, you can save a lot. Approximate Time: 45 minutes Yield: 8 It's my own version of baked ziti that Italian restaurants serve. If you make it at home, you can save a lot. Approximate Time: 45 minutes Yield: 8Cheesy Baked Zitti Ingredients: 250 mg Penne Regate Gourmet Pasta 200 mg 3 Cheese Tomato Sauce 1/2 lb cheddar cheese, grated 1/4 lb bacon strips, crushed 1 clove garlic, chopped 1 small piece of onion, chopped 1/4 lb butter, sliced salt and pepper to taste Steps: Bring the water to a boil for the pasta. Make sure you add a little bit of oil and a pinch of salt to make your pasta perfect. Once cooked, drain water and pour cold water over to stop pasta being overcooked. Drain again and set aside. Heat saucepan on stove to medium heat. Melt butter and fry bacon strips. Once bacon is crispy, set aside to cool. In the same saucepan, add more butter until melted. Saute' garlic and onions. Pour in the three cheese sauce and bring it to boil. Assemble casserole in a baking pan. Alternate pasta, sauce and grated cheddar cheese. Repeat until all ingredients are in the pan. Top with more cheese covering most of the surface. Bake at 325 degrees F until all the cheese has melted. By cherriefic [2] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ On a recent flight I sat next to a lady who was on her way to meet a guy she had met over the net. She sat there during most of the flight messing with her make-up. She put on eyebrow pencil, eye shadow, eyeliner, eyelashes, foundation, mascara, toner, blush and stuff that I have no clue what it is called. Then she turned to me and said, "Does this look natural?" Well, the truth was that soap and water would have made her look a lot better than all that make-up. So I told her: "If your friend starts looking closely at your war paint, take that as a sign that you have your blouse buttoned up too high." ___________________________________________________
Life is like coffee
____________________________________________________ Mother: "Where is your dad ?" "Well," her son replied thoughtfully, "if he knows as much about canoeing as he thinks he does, then he's out canoeing. If he knows as little about it as I think he does, then he's out swimming." ____________________________________________________ After watching the movie Cinderella, five-year-old Sarah started using her pinwheel as a magic wand, pretending she was a fairy godmother. "Make three wishes," she told her mother, "and I'll grant them." Her mom first asked for world peace. Sarah swung her wand and proclaimed the request fulfilled. Next, her mother requested for a cure for all ill children. Again, with a sweep of the pinwheel, Sarah obliged. The mother, with a glance down at her rather heavy curves, made her third wish, "I wish to have a trim figure again." The miniature fairy godmother started waving her wand madly. "I'll need more power for this!" she exclaimed. ____________________________________________________
Whew! Glad I don't have to drive that highway to work every day!

Today, January 21, in
1793 During the French Revolution, King Louis XVI was executed 
 on the guillotine. He had been condemned for treason. 
1812 The Y-bridge in Zanesville, OH, was approved for construction. 
1853 Dr. Russell L. Hawes patented the envelope folding machine. 
1865 An oil well was drilled by torpedoes for the first time. 
1900 Canadian troops set sail to fight in South Africa. The 
 Boers had attacked Ladysmith on January 8, 1900. 
1911 The first Monte Carlo car rally was held. Seven days later 
 it was won by Henri Rougier. 
1915 The first Kiwanis club was formed in Detroit, MI. 
1924 Soviet leader Vladimir Ilyich Lenin died. Joseph Stalin began
 a purge of his rivals for the leadership of the Soviet Union. 
1927 The first opera broadcast over a national radio network was 
 presented in Chicago, IL. The opera was "Faust". 
1941 The British communist newspaper, the "Daily Worker," was 
 banned due to wartime restrictions. 
1954 The Nautilus was launched in Groton, CT. It was the first 
 atomic-powered submarine. U.S. First Lady Mamie Eisenhower 
 broke the traditional bottle of champagne across the bow. 
1954 The gas turbine automobile was introduced in New York City. 
1970 The Boeing 747 made its first commercial flight from New 
 York to London for Pan American. 
1970 ABC-TV presented "The Johnny Cash Show" in prime time. 
1976 The French Concorde SST aircraft began regular commercial 
 service for Air France and British Airways. 
1977 U.S. President Carter pardoned almost all Vietnam War 
 draft evaders. 
1980 Gold was valued at $850 an ounce. 
1994 A jury in Manassas, VA, acquitted Lorena Bobbitt by reason 
 of temporary insanity of maliciously wounding (severing his penis) 
 her husband John. She accused him of sexually assaulting her. 
1997 Newt Gingrich was fined as the U.S. House of Representatvies 
 voted for first time in history to discipline its leader for 
 ethical misconduct. 
1998 A former White House intern said on tape that she had an 
 affair with U.S. President Clinton. 
1999 The U.S. Coast Guard intercepted a ship headed for Houston, TX, 
 that had over 9,500 pounds of cocaine aboard. It was one of the 
 largest drug busts in U.S. history. 
2002 In Goma, Congo, about fifty people were killed when lava flow 
 ignited a gas station. The people killed were trying to steal fuel 
 from elevated tanks. The eruption of Mount Nyiragongo began on 
 January 17, 2002. 
2002 In London, a 17th century book by Capt. John Smith, founder 
 of the English settlement at Jamestown, was sold at auction for 
 $48,800. "The General History of Virginia, New England and the 
 Summer Isles" was published in 1632. 
2003 It was announced by the U.S. Census Bureau that estimates showed 
 that the Hispanic population had passed the black population for 
 the first time.
2015  smiled.


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Megabackup and Tweakbit infection 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, January 20

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida woman arrested at 11:30 pm, for drunk driving with no lights on and 4 children in the car. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, January 20 1265 The first English parliament met in Westminster Hall. History ______________________________________________________ That which has always been accepted by everyone, everywhere, is almost certain to be false. --- Paul Valery (1871 - 1945) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Sol Goldbaum, an elderly Jewish gentleman stood before a delicatessen display counter and pointed to a tray. "I'll have a pound of that roast beef," he said. "That's not roast beef," the clerk said loudly, "it's ham." "Sonny," the customer snapped, "in case nobody ever told you, a big mouth you got!" ______________________________________________________
Save up to 85% OFF retail prices on Ink & Toner - Click here
Rick's mother was speeding north on I-75 when she noticed a Michigan State Police car behind her with it's flashing red lights on. She was very nervous, as she had never been stopped in Michigan before and didn't know what to expect. The trooper approached her car then asked if she knew why he had stopped her. She said, " Oh, I bet I know why you stopped me. You want to sell me tickets to the policeman's ball." The trooper then told her that "Michigan State Police don't have balls." Rick's mother lost it and she started laughing uncontrollably. The troopers face turned bright red. He turned about on his heel, marched back to his car and took off with squealing tires. ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jacquelyn Nichole Tadrous, 33, Rockledge, Florida Florida woman arrested at 11:30 pm, for drunk driving with no lights on and 4 children in the car. A Rockledge woman was arrested Saturday after police say she was caught driving under the influence with four children in her car. Melbourne police say a passerby called to report a reckless driver on Lake Washington Road around 11:30 p.m. Saturday. The caller told police that the driver, later identified as 33-year-old Jacquelyn Nichole Tadrous, was weaving through traffic at a high rate of speed with no headlights. The officer who stopped Tadrous said she appeared to be intoxicated and had open containers of alcohol in the car. Also in the car were four children, ages 2, 3, 14 and 16. Tadrous, who was already driving with a suspended license and on probation for a 2015 DUI arrest, now faces additional charges that include child neglect and DUI while accompanied by a minor. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Iris Re: Tweakbit and Megabackup Dear Webby What do you think of those two programs? They sound a bit too good to be true. And that phony Microsoft partner logo really makes me suspicious. What do you know about them? Iris Dear Iris There is nothing wrong with your sleaze detector! Those two programs are some of the worst malware, that has come around in a long time. Avoid them like the plague, because they ARE a plague. They pop ads, and they open a back door for hackers to come in and they are difficult to remove. If a machine is infected with one or both, they are very difficult to clean out. The Windows Uninstall fails miserably. Revo uninstaller also fails. If you see either one of those two, back away from them as fast as you can. I agree that the "Microsoft Gold Partner" logo is as phony as a 3 dollar bill. Anybody can copy that and paste it on top of any garbage. Always check on Google or Bing to see if there are complaints and warnings. Or ask me, and I will check. By the way, the methods for getting rid of those two, that are listed on the web, don't work. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ On a small country road, a cyclist was rolling along happily on his brand new high-tech race machine. Some rednecks have been following him in their pick-up for a few hundred meters, and decided to scare the cyclist. They passed him real fast and also real close to try to send him into the ditch. They all laughed as they watched the white-faced cyclist through the pick-up's rear window. To their surprise, the cyclist began to gain speed on them and passed them on the right like a bullet. Standing the gas pedal, the pick-up passed the cyclist again real close while the passengers were doing some impolite gestures but as before, the cyclist quickly gained on the truck and passed him on the right again. Going down a hill, the redneck slammed the gearbox into fifth gear and passed the cyclist at around 100 miles per hour. This time, the cyclist passed the truck again so fast that he flew off the road. The rednecks stopped their truck and found the cyclist lying in the middle of a field. They picked up the cyclist and asked him what kind of bicycle he was using. "Never mind" replied the cyclist, "I'm just glad we stopped. My suspenders were caught on your rearview mirror!" ------------------------ That sure reminds me of my first few years in college, before I got my first motorcycle. I used to use an loop of rope to snag a truck on a curvy downhill section, where a crazy kid on a bike could easily catch up to a dumptruck or freighter, and then let the truck pull me the rest of the way. Even after doing it many hundreds of times, it always remained a white-knuckle scare requiring 100% attention. I definitely would not recommend that for today's traffic! ______________________________________________________ If you can help with thecost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Old Sweater Mophead Use an old sweater's arm for a perfect fit on your rectangular mop. I find acrylic sweaters to gather the most dust and gunk while leaving a nice shine. You can use them and wash them for reuse over and over. Source: My mother and her Swiffer-head disposal angst ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it's all different. I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking at me." "Why complain?" said the counselor, "You're still getting the same service." ___________________________________________________
Sihle The Drummer
____________________________________________________ Sally is employed by the human-development center of a corporation in the Midwest and trains employees in proper dress codes and etiquette. One day as she was stepping onto the elevator, a man casually dressed in jeans and a golf shirt got on with her. Thinking of her responsibilities, she scolded, "Dressed a little casually today, aren't we?" The man shrugged, "Yeah, well, that's the one and only fringe benefit I get these days for owning the company." ____________________________________________________ Joe had asked Bob to help him out with the deck after work, so Bob went straight over to Joe's place. When they got to the door, Joe went straight to his wife, gave her a hug and told her how beautiful she was and how much he had missed her at work. When it was time for supper, he complimented his wife on her cooking, kissed her and told her how much he loved her. Once they were working on the deck, Bob told Joe that he was surprised that he fussed so much over his wife. Joe said that he'd started this about 6 months ago, it had revived their marriage and things couldn't be better. Bob thought he'd give it a go. When he got home, he gave his wife a massive hug, kissed her and told her that he loved her. His wife burst into tears. Bob was confused and asked why she was crying. She said, "This is the worst day of my life. First, little Billy fell off his bike and twisted his ankle. Then, the washing machine broke and flooded the basement. And now, you come home drunk!" ____________________________________________________
13 Beautiful horse breeds. That Akhal-Teke horse looks like a shiny statue!

Today, January 20, in
1265 The first English parliament met in Westminster Hall. 
1839 Chile defeated a confederation of Peru and Bolivia 
 in the Battle of Yungay. 
1841 The island of Hong Kong was ceded to Great Britain. 
 It returned to Chinese control in July 1997. 
1885 The roller coaster was patented by L.A. Thompson. 
1886 The Mersey Railway Tunnel was officially opened by 
 the Prince of Wales. 
1887 The U.S. Senate approved an agreement to lease Pearl 
 Harbor in Hawaii as a naval base. 
1929 The movie "In Old Arizona" was released. The film was 
 the first full-length talking film to be filmed outdoors. 
1942 Nazi officials held the Wannsee conference, during 
 which they arrived at their "final solution" that called 
 for exterminating Europe's Jews. 
1944 The British RAF dropped 2,300 tons of bombs on Berlin. 
1952 In Juarez, Mexico, Patricia McCormick debuted as the 
 first professional woman bullfighter from the United States. 
1953 "Studio One" became the first television show to be 
 transmitted from the United States to Canada. 
1972 The number of unemployed in Britain exceeded 1 million. 
1981 Iran released 52 Americans that had been held hostage 
 for 444 days. The hostages were flown to Algeria and then 
 to a U.S. base in Wiesbaden, West Germany. The release 
 occurred minutes after the U.S. presidency had passed 
 from Jimmy Carter to Ronald Reagan. 
1985 Super Bowl XIX marked the first time that TV commercials 
 sold for a million dollars a minute. 
1986 Britain and France announced their plans to build the 
 Channel Tunnel. 
1986 New footage of the 1931 "Frankenstein" was found. The 
 footage was originally deleted because it was considered 
 to be too shocking. 
1987 Anglican Church envoy Terry Waite was kidnapped in 
 Beirut, Lebanon. He was there attempting to negotiate the 
 release of Western hostages. He was not freed until 
 November 1991. 
1994 Shannon Faulkner became the first woman to attend 
 classes at The Citadel in South Carolina. Faulkner joined 
 the cadet corps in August 1995 under court order but 
 soon dropped out. 
1996 Yasser Arafat was elected president of the Palestinian 
 Authority and his supporters won two thirds of the 80 
 seats in the Legislative Council. 
1998 American researchers announced that they had cloned 
 calves that may produce medicinal milk. 
1998 In Chile, a judge agreed to hear a lawsuit that 
 accused Chile's former dictator Augusto Pinochet with 
 genocide. 
1999 The China News Service announced that the Chinese 
 government was tightening restrictions on internet use. 
 The rules were aimed at 'Internet Bars.' 
2000 Greece and Turkey signed five accords aimed to build 
 confidence between the two nations. 
2002 Michael Jordan (Washington Wizards) played his first 
 game in Chicago as a visiting player. The Wizards beat 
 the Bulls 77-69.
2015  smiled.


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DELL printer won't print after computer was "refreshed" 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, January 19

>From Don
You used to talk about Atlantic Inkjet but I don't see 
anything on your website. I need to order some toner, is 
a link on your website somewhere?
Thanks
Don

Dear Don
I got a better deal for you now, especially for toner.
With this link you get up to 85% off on most toners,
even more when compared to Staples. I needed toner for my
Brother printer, that I had bought at Staples one time, 
when I could not wait for DELL. The printer was cheap,
but their price for toner is totally ridiculous. 

Your inquiry spurred me on to do a bunch of checking and 
applied to bean affiliate at the place, that had the best
deal. Now you can get an even better deal. 

Another benefit with this deal is that they ship via 
USPS, saving you another big chunk of money. No need 
to pay more for shipping than for the ink or toner.
Just click on http://webby.com/toner for the best possible
deal on ink and toner.

That is where I get my toner from. It arrives fast and 
works perfectly.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Kidnapper nabbed at meeting he scheduled with victim Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, January 19 1825 Ezra Daggett and Thomas Kensett of New York City patented a canning process to preserve salmon, oysters and lobsters. History ______________________________________________________ "Anyone who eats thee meals a day should understand why cookbooks outsell sex books three to one." --- L. M. Boyd "Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it." --- Mark Twain ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Dianne was driving down a highway and all of a sudden a cop sitting on the roadside turns on his flashing red lights. Upon seeing the red lights she pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the cop. When the cop gets there he says to the her, "Lady you were doing 43 miles per hour in a 30 mile an hour zone." Dianne said, "No I wasn't. The sign back there said 43." To this the cop snaps back, "Lady, look ... that was a highway number sign, this is highway 43 and your doing 43 miles an hour in a 30 mile an hour zone." Dianne repeats her story again claiming she was not speeding. The cop scratches his head and returns to his car to ask his bald partner what he should do. After telling his bald partner the story, his partner says, "Bill, you better give her a ticket. The 401 is just up ahead and with this old patrol car we'll never catch her there." ______________________________________________________
Save up to 85% OFF retail prices on Ink & Toner - Click here
A college senior took his new girlfriend to a football game. The young couple found seats in the crowded stadium and were watching the action. A substitute was put into the game, and as he was running onto the field to take his position, the boy said to his girlfriend, "Take a good look at that fellow. I expect him to be our best man next year." His girlfriend snuggled closer to him and said, "That's the strangest way I ever heard of for a fellow to propose to a girl. Regardless of how you said it, I accept!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jason Donte Hayes, 17, Upper Darby, Pennsylvania Kidnapper nabbed at meeting he scheduled with victim It all started when Hayes allegedly broke into a home and woke up a 70-year-old woman by tapping her on the shoulder with a gun, according to the Delco Times. Hayes demanded money from the woman, whom he knew because he had once lived in rental owned by her. When she said there wasn't any in the house, he made her drive him to a cash machine where he demanded she withdraw $2,000 or be killed. The machine only allowed the woman to take out $460, so Hayes made the victim drive him back to her home, wake up her husband and bring him to the kitchen. It's what happened next that caused police to accuse Hayes of stupidity along with the more serious criminal charges. Hayes allegedly told his female victim to meet him at a shopping center parking lot on Jan. 4 at 9 a.m. with an additional $1,500, according to Fox29.com. He promised the woman she would recognize him because he would be wearing the exact same outfit. “He said, ‘I’ll be dressed exactly the same way as I am today,’” Splain said, according to the New York Post. “This is where stupid takes off pretty quickly.” Hayes told the victims not to call the police, but they did anyway. So when he arrived at the parking lot shortly after the designated meeting time, officers were ready and waiting for him. Officers found $363 in cash on Hayes and a gold Timex watch that belonged to the victims, police said. Hayes has been charged as an adult with kidnapping, robbery, aggravated assault and other crimes. He is being held on $200,000 bail. Splain told Philly.com the incident left the victims "scared to death" and said they are currently receiving counseling. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bob Re: DELL printer won't print Dear Webby Several days ago I had to "REFESH" my computer (DELL -all - in- ONE Inspiron 20) as I was having problems. I lost all my virus and anti-malware programs and had to reinstall them. Computer is running slow at the startup however all programs are running at normal speed. I am however having problems using my DELL C1760 NW color printer. I cannot print a document. If I hit ctrl p or hit print under the 3 bars on the upper right hand side of the screen another screen comes up asking me to print or cancel. When I hit print another screen comes up titled "Save print output as". I type in "MOVE BROWSER" hit save and nothing happens. I'm wondering if I shouldn't reinstall the printer or try something else. If I have to reinstall the printter how do I proceed? Appreciate and help you can offer. Thank you, Daily voter, Bob Dear Bob You have to change your default printer setting from "Print to File", to C1760 NW. Your refresh probably wiped out your printer driver, and you may have to re-install the printer. You can download the printer driver from DELL. Try first to just select the C1760 NW via START, Control Panel, Printers. The driver MIGHT still be there, if not, download it from DELL, and then run it. Have FUN! DearWebby Hi Webby, It Worked!!!!!! Thank you for your help and encouragement. I can always rely on you for help and advise from you and your most enjoyable newsletter. Daily Voter, Bob _____________________________________________________ I stopped at a roadside stand in Southern California that sold fruit, vegetables, and crafts. As I went to pay, I noticed the young woman behind the counter was painting a sign. I commented on how colorful it was. "My boyfriend didn't like the old one," she said. When I glanced at what hung above the counter, I understood. It declared, "Local Honey Dates Nuts." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with thecost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Protecting Your Skin from Costume Jewelry A simple trick my mother-in-law showed me. We all have that silver or gold toned jewelry that we would love to wear, but unfortunately when we do it leaves our skin green or can even cause skin irritations. If you simply paint a thin coat of clear nail polish over the metal that will be in contact with your skin, it will alleviate the problem completely. Don't forget to give it plenty of time to dry thoroughly, a day or more I would suggest. Now that pretty, but unwearable, pile at the bottom of your jewelry box can actually be worn! I loved this trick and it's so simple I couldn't believe I hadn't heard of it before. By Amber E. [4] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ >From Lisa: After directory assistance gave me my boyfriend's new tele- phone number, I dialed him -- and got a woman. "Is Mike there?" I asked. "He's in the shower," she responded. "Please tell him his girlfriend called," I said and hung up. When he didn't return the call, I dialed again. This time a man answered. "This is Mike," he said. "You're not my boyfriend!" I exclaimed. "I know," he replied. "That's what I've been trying to tell my wife for the past half-hour." ___________________________________________________
the making of an ancient silver cup
____________________________________________________ Felix was playing golf with our town's fire chief when he hit a ball into the rough. As Felix headed for the brush to find his ball, the chief warned him, "Be careful, the rattlesnakes are out." The chief explained that calls had been coming in all week requesting assistance with removing the snakes. "You've got to be kidding," Felix replied in astonishment. "People actually call the fire department to help them with rattlesnakes? What do you say to them?" "Well," said the chief, "the first thing we always ask is, 'Is it on fire?'" ------------- No snakes out here. They don't like snow. ____________________________________________________ >From Roland A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water." "But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?" A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said, "Wedding cake." ____________________________________________________
A man with a passion for carving caves.

Today, January 19, in
1419 Rouen surrendered to Henry V, completing his conquest 
 of Normandy. 
1764 John Wilkes was expelled from the British House of 
 Commons for seditious libel. 
1793 King Louis XVI was tried by the French Convention, 
 found guilty of treason and sentenced to the guillotine. 
1825 Ezra Daggett and Thomas Kensett of New York City 
 patented a canning process to preserve salmon, oysters 
 and lobsters. 
1883 Thomas Edison's first village electric lighting 
 system using overhead wires began operation in Roselle, NJ. 
1915 George Claude, of Paris, France, patented the neon 
 discharge tube for use in advertising signs. 
1915 More than 20 people were killed when German zeppelins 
 bombed England for the first time. The bombs were dropped 
 on Great Yarmouth and King's Lynn. 
1937 Howard Hughes set a transcontinental air record. He 
 flew from Los Angeles to New York City in 7 hours, 
 28 minutes and 25 seconds. 
1942 The Japanese invaded Burma (later Myanmar). 
1944 The U.S. federal government relinquished control of the 
 nation's railroads after the settlement of a wage dispute. 
1949 The salary of the President of the United States was 
 increased from $75,000 to $100,000 with an additional 
 $50,000 expense allowance for each year in office. 
1966 Indira Gandhi was elected prime minister of India. 

1969 In protest against the Russian invasion of 1968, 
 Czech student Jan Palach set himself on fire in Prague's 
 Wenceslas Square. 
1971 At the Charles Manson murder trial, the Beatles' 
 "Helter Skelter" was played. At the scene of one of his 
 gruesome murders, the words "helter skelter" were written 
 on a mirror. 
1977 U.S. President Ford pardoned Iva Toguri D'Aquino 
 (the "Tokyo Rose"). 
1979 Former U.S. Attorney General John N. Mitchell was 
 released on parole after serving 19 months at a federal 
 prison in Alabama. 
1981 The U.S. and Iran signed an agreement paving the way 
 for the release of 52 Americans held hostage for more than 
 14 months and for arrangements to unfreeze Iranian assets 
 and to resolve all claims against Iran. 
1983 China announced that it was bannning 1983 purchases of 
 cotton, soybeans and chemical fibers from the United States. 
1993 IBM announced a loss of $4.97 billion for 1992. It was 
 the largest single-year loss in U.S. corporate history. 
1995 Russian forces overwhelmed the resistance forces in 
 Chechnya. 
1996 U.S. first lady Hillary Rodham Clinton was subpoenaed to 
 appear before a federal grand jury. The investigation was 
 concerning the discovery of billing records related to the 
 Whitewater real estate investment venture. 
1997 Yasser Arafat returned to Hebron for the first time in 
 more than 30 years. He joined 60,000 Palestinians in 
 celebration over the handover of the last West Bank city 
 in Israeli control. 
2001 Texas officials demoted a warden and suspended three 
 other prison workers in the wake of the escape of the "Texas 7." 
2006 NASA's New Horizons spacecraft was launched. The mission 
 was the first to investigate Pluto. 
2013 In Scottsdale, AZ, the original Batmobile for the TV series 
 "Batman" sold at auction for $4.6 million. It was the first of 
 six Batmobiles produced for the show. 
2015  smiled.


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Hughes Net webmail font size 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, January 18

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Texas home intruder shot by home owner and arrested by cops Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, January 18 1778 English navigator Captain James Cook discovered the Hawaiian Islands, which he called the "Sandwich Islands." History ______________________________________________________ With the gift of listening comes the gift of healing. --- Catherine de Hueck ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The Western Australian Police have launched a new unit that roves around dealing with trouble spots. It made the TV news, with an officer proudly saying they were the: "Fast Action Response Team". Gotta love that acronym. ______________________________________________________ An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty. Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom. "Done!" says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning. Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. At length, one of his colleagues whispers, "Say something." The dean sighs and says, "I should have taken the money." ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big version ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ \ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Randall Thomas Dorsett, 25, Hayes County, Texas
Texas home intruder shot by home owner and arrested by cops Late Monday night, the Hays County Sheriff's Office received a report of a suspicious person in the driveway of a home in rural Hays County. The Sheriff's Office says a female caller said she was at her home on Overland Stage Road in Dripping Springs with her three children, ages 9, 14, and 17. The homeowner says she saw a man unknown to her exit a vehicle in the driveway and approach her front door, which was locked. The man, identified as Randall Thomas Dorsett, 25, began to move the door handle, trying to gain entry, but he was unsuccessful. According to the Sheriff's Office, Dorsett then breached the garage and entered the home through the kitchen, where he was met by the homeowner, who was armed with a handgun. The homeowner demanded he leave the home several times. She told deputies that she became increasingly fearful of Dorsett's intentions toward her and her children. The homeowner fired one shot at Dorsett, striking him in the abdomen. STAR Flight transported Dorsett to Brackenridge Hospital, where he is expected to make a full recovery. His gunshot wound is described as a "through and through" wound, resulting in no major injury. Upon his release from the hospital, the suspect will be arrested for burglary of a habitation.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ann Re: Hughes Net webmail font size Dear Webby I have HughesNet Webmail that's all I know, you see the difference in the size of my print in this email compared to your size print in this email, mine is so small, anyway thank you very much and you stay WARM !! maybe this problem will straighten itself up , I don't know. have a good day and thanks for all you do !! Ann. Dear Ann Hughes Net does not have any information about changing font size, and their "Help" is not helpful. Changing the font size of the system is totally ridiculous, when font sizes are perfect on everything else. You CAN, however, use the trick, that I have been advocating for decades: Hold down the CTR Key and turn the mouse scroll wheel to zoom. Many years ago, when you were still jail bait, I painted a reminder of that on the top of the side menu in the Humor Letter. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Fred was in the hospital recovering from a bypass operation. A member of his church's council came to visit. He said he brought greetings from the entire council and their wishes that he should recover soon and live a long and healthy life. Fred thanked him and said that was very nice. He was somewhat taken aback and said, "It's more than 'nice,' Father Fred. It was an official resolution ... passed by a vote of 14 to 12." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with thecost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Quick and Easy Garlic Rolls These are great when serving any Italian dishes, and easier to fix than Italian bread! Take one package of Pillsbury Grands Southern Style Flaky Rolls (8). Put them in a glass pie dish. Melt 3 tablespoons of fresh butter, add a sprinkle of salt and pepper, 1/4 teaspoon of basil leaves,1/8 of a teaspoon of garlic powder and a sprinkle of Italian seasoning. Source: My own idea! By Jackie H. [128] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Little Harold was practicing the violin in the living room while his father was trying to read in the den. The family dog was lying in the den, and as the screeching sounds of little Harold's violin reached his ears, he began to howl loudly. The father listened to the dog and the violin as long as he could. Then he jumped up, slammed his paper to the floor and yelled above the noise, "For pity's sake, can't you play something the dog doesn't know?" ___________________________________________________
homemade fireworks
____________________________________________________ One evening, Joanne and two girlfriends went to a nightclub, only to find the place packed with young people. At 40, they felt old by comparison, but before they could make a dignified exit, a tall, handsome man approached them. "Perhaps we were being a little hasty in leaving," Joanne thought. Then with a big smile, the man extended his hand to one of her friends and said, "Hello. Remember me? You taught me in third grade. ____________________________________________________ Old Dr. Carver still made house calls. One afternoon he was called to the Tuttle house. Mrs. Tuttle was in terrible pain. The doctor came out of the bedroom a minute after he'd gone in and asked Mr. Tuttle, "Do you have a hammer?" A puzzled Mr. Tuttle went to the garage, and returned with a hammer. The doctor thanked him and went back into the bedroom. A moment later, he came out and asked, "Do you have a chisel?" Mr. Tuttle complied with the request. In the next ten minutes, Dr. Carver asked for and received a pair of pliers, a screwdriver and a hacksaw. The last request got to Mr. Tuttle. He asked, "What are you doing to my wife?" "Not a thing," replied old doc Carver. "I can't get my instrument bag open." ____________________________________________________
The 21 Most Amazing National Geographic Photos Of 2015

Today, January 18, in
1778 English navigator Captain James Cook discovered the 
Hawaiian Islands, which he called the "Sandwich Islands." 
1788 The first English settlers arrived in Australia's 
 Botany Bay to establish a penal colony. The group moved 
 north eight days later and settled at Port Jackson. 
1871 Wilhelm, King of Prussia from 1861, was proclaimed 
 the first German Emperor. 
1886 The Hockey Association was formed in England. This 
 date is the birthday of modern field hockey. 
1896 The x-ray machine was exhibited for the first time. 
1911 For the first time an aircraft landed on a ship. Pilot 
 Eugene B. Ely flew onto a special, inclined the deck of 
 the USS Pennsylvania in San Francisco harbor. 
1919 The World War I Peace Congress opened in Versailles, France. 
1939 Louis Armstrong and his orchestra recorded 
 "Jeepers Creepers." 
1943 During World War II, the Soviets announced that they had 
 broken the Nazi siege of Leningrad, which had began in 
 September of 1941. 
1943 U.S. commercial bakers stopped selling sliced bread. Only 
 whole loaves were sold during the ban until the end of World War II. 
1950 The federal tax on oleomargarine was repealed. 
1957 The first, non-stop, around-the-world, jet flight came to an 
 end at Riverside, CA. The plane was refueled in mid-flight by 
 huge aerial tankers. 
1964 The plans for the original World Trade Center in New York 
 were unveiled to the public. 
1972 Former Rhodesian prime minister Garfield Todd and his daughter 
 were placed under house arrest for campaigning against Rhodesian 
 independence. 
1978 The European Court of Human Rights cleared the British 
 government of torture but found it guilty of inhuman and degrading 
 treatment of prisoners in Northern Ireland. 
1990 In an FBI sting, Washington, DC, Mayor Marion Barry was arrested 
 for drug possession. He was later convicted of a misdemeanor. 
1991 Eastern Airlines shut down after 62 years in business due to 
 financial problems. 
1995 The "yahoo.com" domain was created. 
1995 A network of caves were discovered near the town of 
 Vallon-Pont-d'Arc in southern France. The caves contained paintings 
 and engravings that were 17,000 to 20,000 years old. 
1997 Hutu militiamen killed three Spanish aid workers and three 
 soldiers and seriously wound an American in a night attack in 
 NW Rwanda. 
2000 The Chinese web services company Baidu, Inc. was incorporated 
 in Beijing. 
2002 The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) announced the 
 approval of a saliva-based ovulation test. 
2012 Wikipedia began a 24-hour "blackout" in protest against proposed 
 anti-piracy legislation (S. 968 and H.R. 3261) known as the Protect 
 Intellectual Property Act (PIPA) in the Senate and the Stop Online 
 Piracy Act (SOPA) in the House. Many websites, including Reddit, 
 Google, Facebook, Amazon and others, contended would make it 
 challenging if not impossible for them to operate. 
2015  smiled.


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Windows shuts down during "sleep" 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, January 17

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Fired Florida Outback employee, who was arrested after he returned to rob the restaurant. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, January 17 1893 Hawaii's monarchy was overthrown when a group of businessmen and sugar planters forced Queen Liliuokalani to abdicate. History ______________________________________________________ The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking. --- John Kenneth Galbraith (1908 - 2006) You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do. --- Olin Miller ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ On the border of Kentucky and Tennessee there's a small forest. Half of the forest belongs to a Kentucky farmer, while the other half belongs to a Tennessee man. One day, while out for a walk in the woods, the Tennessee man comes across a wolf caught in a trap. He rushes back to his house and calls his Kentucky neighbor. "There's one of your wolves caught in a trap on my side of the forest." "How do you know it's one of *our* wolves?" the Kentucky farmer asked. "Well," the Tennessee man replied, "he's already chewed off three of his legs and he's still trapped." ______________________________________________________ Anyone who's ever ridden in a cab in Washington DC knows they're some of the world's most brazen drivers. Oddly enough though, their current accident rate isn't all that bad. I asked one of the drivers one day the reason for that. "Easy," he said. "all the really bad drivers are dead now." ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big version ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ \ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jimmy Pierre, 35, Lake Worth, Floriduh
Fired Florida Outback employee was arrested after he returned to rob the restaurant. A Lake Worth man was arrested Monday after he allegedly tried to rob a Royal Palm Beach restaurant armed with a water pistol, according to an arrest report. Jimmy Pierre didn’t make it hard for Palm Beach County sheriff’s deputies to track him down, the report said. Pierre, 35, is a former employee of the Outback Steakhouse at the Southern Palms Crossing shopping plaza, the same establishment he allegedly tried to rob Monday. The restaurant manager, who had worked with Pierre, was able to identify the alleged robber. Pierre was fired in October from his job at Outback, the report said. The manager told deputies he had arrived at the restaurant, at Southern Boulevard and Lamstein Lane, at 7 a.m. Monday to do inventory. A few minutes later, Pierre rang the front-door bell and asked the manager for a drink. Once inside, Pierre allegedly put a gun to the manager’s head and demanded he open a safe. Pierre grabbed between $1,500 and $2,000 and put it in a bag. The manager asked Pierre why he was robbing a restaurant where “everyone knows you,” the report said. Pierre said he was broke and needed money. The manager realized that Pierre was holding a toy gun and a struggle ensued. Pierre allegedly tried to burn the manager with a small torch, and then hit the manager over the head with a computer monitor. The manager sustained a bump to his head but was able to identify Pierre to deputies. Pierre is facing charges of robbery with a firearm and aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. He was being held in the Palm Beach County Jail late Tuesday in lieu of $100,000 bail.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Lee Re: Windows shuts down during "sleep". Dear Dr. Webby, I would like to set my pc (Windows 7 Home Premium) to sleep at night but when I turn it on in the morning I find it had completely shut down and I need to restart. Help, Thanks, Lee Dear Lee Most likely you have your Power Options set to shut down after so many hours of inactivity. You can configure that any way you want. There are also additional power options with some anti virus programs, that shut down the machine when finished scanning. Shutting down is actually not a bad idea. Nothing can happen or invade the machine, when it is shut down, and the fans don't suck dust bunnies into the machine. Let it shut down, and just start it up again while you get a coffee. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Husband: "This coffee isn't fit for a pig!" Wife: "No problem. I'll get you some that is." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with thecost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Valentine's Day Eggs This is a fun and adorable edible craft I learned from my mother. She's been doing this since she was a little kid. All you need are a few household items. :) Approximate Time: 45 minutes Supplies: pot of water eggs straws or chopsticks flexible cardboard (packaged food box or cereal box is good) wax paper or plastic wrap food dye (optional) Steps: Place eggs in pot and cover with water. Bring to a boil. Remove from burner. Cover pot. Let eggs sit in hot water about 10-12 minutes. Drain immediately and cool in cold running water or in bowl of ice. Peel eggs. Fold your piece of cardboard into a V shape like a greeting card. Line with wax paper or plastic wrap. Put in your egg. To make a heart shape, press a chopstick or straw down on the top of peeled egg and secure the entire thing with rubber bands. Pop in the fridge for 30 minutes. To make a flower, wrap your peeled egg egg in plastic wrap and press four chopsticks into the sides, evenly. Secure with rubber bands. Pop in the fridge for 30 minutes. To make the smiley faces, stick peeled egg in a tri-folded piece of cardboard lined with wax paper or plastic wrap and secure tightly with rubber bands. Pop in fridge for 30 minutes. If you like you can further decorate. For the smiley faces, add toasted sesame seeds for eyes and teeny tiny wedges of egg white for lips. You can also use a couple drops of red food colouring in a cup of water to dye the eggs pink before you squeeze them into heart shapes. Improvise! It's fun! :) Source: My ThriftyMum! By attosa [161] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ I gaze at the brilliant moon. The same one, I think to myself, at which Socrates, Aristotle, and Plato gazed. Suddenly, I imagine they appear beside me. I tell Socrates about the national debate over one's right to die and wonder at the constancy of the human condition. I tell Plato that I live in the country that has come closest to Utopia and I show him a copy of the Constitution. I tell Aristotle that we have found many more than four basic elements and I show him a periodic table. Then I get a box of kitchen matches and strike one. They gasp with wonder. We spend the rest of the night lighting farts. ___________________________________________________
no frills airline
____________________________________________________ There was this man who had a dog which he was attempting to train, but alas had very little success. He was on the verge of despair when he happened across a very charismatic evangelist. He unburdened his soul to the preacher, who promptly informed him to leave the dog with him, and he would have it trained in a jiffy. The next day the man returns, and asks how the evangelist got on. The reply was positive, and the evangelist calls the dog to give a demonstration. Picking up a stick, he throws it and says, "Fetch." Instantly the dog takes off, grabs the stick and returns. The evangelist says, "Drop" and the dog drops the stick at his feet. "Roll over," and the dog rolls over. By this time the dog's owner is very excited, and asks if he can have a go. "Sure," replies the evangelist. "Heel!" says the owner and the dog lifts one paw, places it on the man's forehead and says, "I command this sickness to leave you..." ____________________________________________________ A small group of people were watching from the sidewalk as a huge front-end-loader swiftly excavated the basement hole for a house and neatly stacked the dirt in a huge pile on the side. One of the people complained: "He is taking food out of the mouths of the children of good Union people! Instead of one capitalist getting rich in an hour, twenty Uninon men could earn a living in that hole with shovels and wheelbarrows for a whole month!" A bystander commented: "Yeah, or two years if they use soup spoons!" ____________________________________________________
The 21 Most Amazing National Geographic Photos Of 2015

Today, January 17, in
1377 The Papal See was transferred from Avignon in France 
 back to Rome. 
1562 French Protestants were recognized under the Edict 
 of St. Germain. 
1773 Captain Cook's Resolution became the first ship to 
 cross the Antarctic Circle. 
1852 The independence of the Transvaal Boers was 
 recognized by Britain. 
1871 Andrew S. Hallidie received a patent for a cable car
1882 Thomas Edison's exhibit opened the Crystal Palace 
 Exhibition in London. 
1893 Hawaii's monarchy was overthrown when a group of 
 businessmen and sugar planters forced Queen Liliuokalani 
 to abdicate. 
1900 The U.S. took Wake Island where there was in important 
 cable link between Hawaii and Manila. 
1900 Yaqui Indians in Texas proclaimed their independence 
 from Mexico. 
1900 Mormon Brigham Roberts was denied a seat in the U.S. 
 House of Representatives for his practicing of polygamy. 
1905 Punchboards were patented by a manufacturing firm in 
 Chicago, IL. 
1912 English explorer Robert Falcon Scott reached the South 
 Pole. Norwegian Roald Amundsen had beaten him there by one 
 month. Scott and his party died during the return trip. 
1913 All partner interests in 36 Golden Rule Stores were 
 consolidated and incorporated in Utah into one company. 
 The new corporation was the J.C. Penney Company. 
1928 The fully automatic, film-developing machine was 
 patented by A.M. Josepho. 
1934 Ferdinand Porsche submitted a design for a people's car, 
 a "Volkswagen," to the new German Reich government. 
1945 Soviet and Polish forces liberated Warsaw at the end of WWII. 
1945 Swedish diplomat Raoul Wallenberg disappeared in Hungary 
 while in Soviet custody. Wallenberg was credited with saving 
 tens of thousands of Jews.
1959 Senegal and the French Sudan joined to form the Federal 
 State of Mali. 
1966 A B-52 carrying four H-bombs collided with a refuelling 
 tanker. The bombs were released and eight crewmembers were killed. 
1991 Coalition airstrikes began against Iraq after negotiations 
 failed to get Iraq to retreat from the country of Kuwait. 
1992 An IRA bomb, placed next to a remote country road in County 
 Tyrone, Northern Ireland, killed seven building workers and 
 injured seven others. 
1994 The Northridge earthquake rocked Los Angeles, CA, registering 
 a 6.7 on the Richter Scale. At least 61 people were killed and 
 about $20 billion in damage was caused. 
1995 More than 6,000 people were killed when an earthquake with 
 a magnitude of 7.2 devastated the city of Kobe, Japan. 
1997 A court in Ireland granted the first divorce in the 
 Roman Catholic country's history. 
1997 Israel gave over 80% of Hebron to Palestinian rule, 
 but held the remainder where several hundred Jewish settlers 
 lived among 20,000 Palestinians. 
1998 U.S. President Clinton gave his deposition in the Paula Jones 
 sexual harassment lawsuit against him. He was the first U.S. 
 President to testify as a defendant in a criminal or civil lawsuit. 
2000 British pharmaceutical companies Glaxo Wellcome PLC and 
 SmithKline Beecham PLC agreed to a merger that created the world's 
 largest drugmaker.
2001 Congo's President Laurent Kabila was shot and killed during a 
 coup attempt. Congolese officials temporarily placed Kabila's 
 son in charge of the government. 
2001 The director of Palestinian TV, Hisham Miki, was killed at a 
 restaurant when three masked gunmen walked up to his table and shot 
 him more than 10 times. 
2002 It was announced that Microsoft had signed a joint venture 
 agreement to produce software with two partners in China. The two 
 partners were Beijin Centergate Technologies (Holding) Co. and 
the Stone Group.
2015  smiled.


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How to move a hidden browser back to center? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, January 16

Yes, I know that the Ezinefinder is not working.
I have written to them a few times, but they don't
respond to me. I guess they think the big Linux bully
is picking on the widdle MAC people. 
You can try writing to
lewis@cumuli.com
support@cumuli.com
support@thriftyfun.com
thrifty@thriftyfun.com

They MIGHT answer you.


Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Texan, who recorded sex with a 14 year old on his cell phone, and then left it where his live-in girlfriend could find it. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, January 16 1547 Ivan the Terrible was crowned Czar of Russia. History ______________________________________________________ "A collection of a hundred Great brains makes one big fathead." --- Carl Gustav Jung ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it. --- Abbie Hoffman (1936 - 1989) ______________________________________________________ Leonardo Da Vinci, when but a small boy, drew a picture of a horrible monster, then placed it near a window to surprise his father. When his father came home, he nearly had a heart attack. The monster was so realistically painted his father was sure his time had come. He promptly enrolled Leonardo in an art class. (He later painted the Mona Lisa) ______________________________________________________ This guy was walking along the beach one day and ran across a lamp. He picked it up a rubbed it and a genie popped out. The genie told him he would grant the man three wishes. "First," the guy began, "I'd like a million dollars." POOF! A million dollars was suddenly showing on his checkbook balance. "Second," he continued, "I'd like a new Mercedes." POOF! A Mercedes appeared right in front of him. "Third," the guy smirked, "I'd like to be irresistible to women." POOF! He turned into a box of chocolates. ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big version ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ \ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Antonio Salinas, 49, SAN ANTONIO, Texas
Texan arrested after his girlfriend finds video of sexual assault of a 14 year old on his cell phone. A 49-year-old man was arrested after police say his live-in girlfriend discovered cellphone video of him sexually assaulting a 14-year-old girl. According to an arrest affidavit, Antonio Salinas had misplaced his phone before leaving his residence. After he was gone, his girlfriend "found" the phone and while snooping on it discovered a video of Salinas and the victim engaging in sex acts. She called police, who seized the phone and discovered more sexually explicit videos involving Salinas and the victim. In one of the videos, Salinas can be heard offering the victim $50 for sex, according to the affidavit. Salinas was arrested and charged with felony sexual assault of a child.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Audrey Re: How do I move a hidden browser back to center? Dear Webby, Every now and then Chrome moves off-screen so far, that I can't drag it back. Sometimes I can't even see it any more and have to reboot, to just get an edge, that I can grab. Yeah, I know it is a Windows bug, that can't be fixed, but is there a way to just move the browser back to where I can grab it and drag it to the center? Thanks Audrey Dear Audrey Yes, that bug is known and affects most machines, that use two monitors. That bug has been around for a long time and Microsoft built in a secret trick that their employees can use to deal with it. It works on XP, W7, W8, W8.1 and W10. Look for the browser icon on the task bar. Hold down the SHIFT key, and then RIGHT click the browser icon. Let go the SHIFT key and hit M Now you can use the Arrow keys (left, right, up, down) to move the browser. Usually it slithers off the left side of the screen when it does that, so using the right arrow key will bring it back to where you can grab it with the mouse. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ What happened?" asked the hospital visitor to the heavily bandaged man sitting up in bed. "Well, I went down to Busch Gardens on vacation and decided to take a ride on the Loch Ness Monster... As we came up to the top of the highest loop, I noticed a little sign by the side of the track. I tried to read it but it was very small and I couldn't make it out. I was so curious that I decided to go round again, but we went by so quickly that I couldn't see what the sign said. By now, I was determined to read that sign so I went round a third time. As we reached the top, I stood up in the car to get a better view." "And did you manage to see what the sign said this time?" asked the visitor. "Yes," he said sheepishly, "Remain seated at all times!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with thecost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Other Uses for Tomato Cages Instead of using cones to help a teen learn driving maneuverability; we used the tall tomato cages, upside down of course. They worked perfectly! Double function, too! By Rene' ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ One morning a man came into the church on crutches. He stopped in front of the holy water, put some on both legs, and then threw away his crutches. An alter boy witnessed the scene and then ran into the rectory to tell the priest what he'd just seen. "Son, you've just witnessed a miracle," the priest said. "Tell me where is this man now?" "Flat on his nose over by the holy water," said the boy ___________________________________________________
no frills airline
____________________________________________________ When a man and woman meet for the first time, various things go through their heads. The woman might be thinking, "Gee, he's not bad looking, and those are nice shoes he's got, he must have a decent job. I love his smile, and he seems to actually be listening to what I say, although if this is going to go anywhere we'll have to do something about that beard, and his glasses are definitely too big and....." And of course the man is thinking, "Gee, I'm only fourteen inches away from her blouse!" ____________________________________________________ One of my co-workers got a speeding ticket and was attending a defensive-driving course to have points erased from her license. The instructor, a poice officer, emphasized that being on time was crucial and that the classroom doors would be locked when each session began. Just after one class started, someone knocked on the locked door. The officer opened it and asked, "Why are you late?" The student replied, "A cop was ahead of me in traffic and I had to do the speed limit all the way into town!" ____________________________________________________
And the Winners of the 2015 Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards Are…

Today, January 16, in
1547 Ivan the Terrible was crowned Czar of Russia. 
1572 The Duke of Norfolk was tried for treason for complicity 
 in the Ridolfi plot to restore Catholicism in England. He was 
 executed on June 2. 
1809 The British defeated the French at the Battle of Corunna, 
 in the Peninsular War. 
1866 Mr. Everett Barney patented the metal screw & clamp skate. 
1900 The U.S. Senate consented to the Anglo-German treaty of 
 1899, by which the U.K. renounced rights to the Samoan islands. 
1919 The 18th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, which prohibited 
 the sale or transportation of alcoholic beverages, was ratified. 
 It was later repealed by the 21st Amendment. 
1920 Prohibition went into effect in the U.S. 
1925 Leon Trotsky was dismissed as Chairman of the Revolutionary 
 Council of the USSR. 
1944 General Dwight D. Eisenhower took command of the Allied 
 invasion force in London. 
1970 Colonel Muammar el-Quaddafi became virtual president of Libya. 
1970 Buckminster Fuller, the designer of the geodesic dome, was 
 awarded the Gold Medal of the American Institute of Architects. 
1979 The Shah of Iran and his family fled Iran for Egypt. 
1982 Britain and the Vatican resumed full diplomatic relations 
 after a break of over 400 years. 
1985 "Playboy" magazine announced its 30-year tradition of 
 stapling centerfold models in the bellybutton and elsewhere 
 would come to an immediate end. 
1998 Researchers announce that an altered gene helped to 
 defend against HIV. 
1991 The White House announced the start of Operation Desert 
 Storm. The operation was designed to drive Iraqi forces 
 out of Kuwait. 
1992 Officials of the government of El Salvador and rebel 
 leaders signed a pact in Mexico City ending 12 years of 
 civil war. At least 75,000 people were killed during the 
 fighting. 
1998 The first woman to enroll at Virginia Military Institute 
 withdrew from the school. 
1998 It was announced that Texas would receive $15.3 billion 
 in a tobacco industry settlement. The payouts were planned 
 to take place over 25 years. 
2002 U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft announced that John 
 Walker Lindh would be brought to the United States to face 
 trial. He was charged in U.S. District Court in Alexandria, VA, 
 with conspiracy to kill U.S. citizens, providing support to 
 terrorist organizations, and engaging in prohibited 
 transactions with the Taliban of Afghanistan. 
2002 The U.N. Security Council unanimously adopted sanctions 
 against Osama bin Laden, his terror network and the Taliban. 
 The sanctions required that all nations impose arms embargoes 
 and freeze their finances. 
2009 The iTunes Music Store reached 500 million applications 
 downloaded.
2015  smiled.


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How to reduce paper usage 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, January 15
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an SC Woman, who was arrested after she bit off guard's finger after stealing condoms, lubricant from Walmart. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, January 15 1624 Many riots occurred in Mexico when it was announced that all churches were to be closed. History ______________________________________________________ "A collection of a hundred Great brains makes one big fathead." --- Carl Gustav Jung ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A man was driving down a local street one day in an open convertible and approached a stop sign. He barely slowed down and ran right through the stop sign after glancing for traffic. What the driver didn't know was that a cop was watching the intersection. The cop pulled out after him and stopped him 2 blocks away and asked him for his " License, registration and proof of insurance" The driver said: "Hey I wanna know exactly what I did wrong first?" The Officer responded "Please watch your tone of voice, you failed the stop sign back there!" The driver said: "Hey man, I slowed down enough, what the heck is the difference?" The police officer then pulled out his night stick and his long flashlight began bonking them over the mans head in a spirited drum solo. Within seconds the driver was howling: "Hey, man, stop that. Stop it. Stop, please!" The officer said " Now, do you want me to really stop, or just slow down a bit ?" ______________________________________________________ A tour bus load full of noisy tourists arrives at Runnymede, England. They gather around the guide who says, "This is the spot where the barons forced King John to sign the Magna Carta." A man pushing his way to the front of the crowd asks, "When did that happen?" "1215," answers the guide. The man looks at his watch and says, "Shoot! We missed it by a half hour!" ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big version ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by Walter, The Stoncarver at http://stonecarver.com. \ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Carolynn Elizabeth Wright, 23, MYRTLE BEACH, S.C.
SC Woman arrested after she bit off guard's finger after stealing condoms, lubricant from Walmart. A 23-year-old woman has been charged with assault after police say she stole items from a Myrtle Beach Walmart and got into a fight with two loss prevention officers, according to a police report. Carolynn Elizabeth Wright was arrested on Sunday by Myrtle Beach Police. The arrest came after police responded to an assault call at the Walmart on Seaboard Street. When officers arrived they saw a group of people and a gold van, according to a police report. Two women, both loss prevention officers for the store, told police they tried to stop Wright after they saw her conceal several items and exit the store. A fight ensued between the women and Wright. The women said Wright punched one of them in the side of her head, causing bleeding around her left ear. The other woman said Wright bit down on her finger and wouldn't let go, causing a portion of her finger to come off. Another woman told police Wright grabbed her phone when she tried to call 911 and, when she reached over to get her phone back, Wright grabbed her hair. The woman said she punched Wright in the face to get her to let go of her hair. A man told police Wright went inside the store and when she came back she told him to run. When he said, "What?" she replied, "Drive!" But there was someone standing in front of the van he was driving. A short time later police responded. The items reported stolen include: condoms valued at $7.98, lubricant valued at $2.94, clothing valued at $9.97, two pairs of panties valued at $6.96 each, and one camisole valued at $1.68. Wright had pleaded guilty to a shoe attack while working as a stripper at a Myrtle Beach strip club in March 2015.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Kath Re: Paper expenses Dear Webby, My paper expenses are getting out of hand, partly because I print out the instructions for most programs. Help! Kath Dear Kath Get Clickbook. If you loose this link, it is also in my Tool Box at http://webby.com/tools I have had it there since the days, when I was using a dot matrix printer. With ClickBook you select Clickbook as your printer, then one out of over 170 different formats. My favorite one is 4 pages per sheet paperback format, folded. The first time you use it, it tells you to feed a sheet then drop it down into the feed tray and print it again. It puts marks onto the sheet and tells you to select which ones you see and where. That tells it how your printer works. After that you print your stuff, and when it has one side printed, it tells you to drop the printed stuff down into the paper tray without turning, and hit OK. Then it prints the back sides. It does the mindboggling task of figuring out what goes behind each page, so that all the pages are in proper sequence, when you take the stack and fold it in half. Just fold it in half, and use a wooden hammer or your heaviest shoe, and hammer the fold nice and tight, hammer some heavy staples through the fold, and glue a nice cover page around your paperback size booklet. This sounds a bit complicated, but is actually quite simple. When you see how it prints 4 pages per sheet of paper, or more, if you pick a pocket book format, you will be quite delighted about your paper savings. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A couple went shopping at the mall. They decided to go their separate ways and meet two hours later. The husband was at their appointed meeting place at the appointed time, but there was no sign of his wife. After waiting for half an hour, he started looking for her but couldn't find her in any of the stores she usually frequented. Finally, thoroughly tired of looking for her, he approached a beautiful lady on a mall bench. He smiled at her and said, "Please, talk to me! Quick!" She said, "Why?" "Because I've been looking for my wife all over this silly mall and I can't find her," the man replied. "How will talking to me help you find your wife? I have absolutely no idea what she looks like, much less where she is." "I didn't think you did. However, every time I start talking to a beautiful woman, my wife instantly appears out of nowhere!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with thecost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Other Uses for Tomato Cages Instead of using cones to help a teen learn driving maneuverability; we used the tall tomato cages, upside down of course. They worked perfectly! Double function, too! By Rene' ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ When Steven returned to the house one evening, his wife Sarah announced that the new cleaning woman they had hired had stolen two towels. "Hmmm," said Steven very disinterested, and reclining on the sofa, "that wasn't very nice of her to do." "You're darn right it wasn't," Sarah said. "And they were the two best towels we had... the ones I nipped at that Hotel on our honeymoon." ___________________________________________________
bear tagging in Canada
____________________________________________________ Two kids, aged 10 and 12 were sitting under a quilt on the couch watching television. Their mother joined them, and complained that there was not enough quilt for her. The 10 year old replied "That's because the quilt is in portrait not landscape!" And sure enough, when they turned the quilt to "landscape", they all fit under it quite nicely! ____________________________________________________ The doctor was examining a young model who was having tremendous pain in her side. "My dear, you have acute appendicitis," the doctor said. The woman became quite angry and said, "Don't try flirting with me, I just want to be examined, not complimented." ____________________________________________________
How does he do that?

Today, January 15, in
1559 England's Queen Elizabeth I (Elizabeth Tudor) was crowned.
1624 Many riots occurred in Mexico when it was announced that 
 all churches were to be closed. 
1863 "The Boston Morning Journal" became the first paper in the 
 U.S. to be published on wood pulp paper. 
1870 A cartoon by Thomas Nast titled "A Live Jackass Kicking a 
 Dead Lion" appeared in "Harper's Weekly." The cartoon used the 
 donkey to symbolize the Democratic Party for the first time. 
1892 "Triangle" magazine in Springfield, MA, published the 
 rules for a brand new game. The original rules involved 
 attaching peach baskets to a suspended board. It is now known 
 as basketball. 
1913 The first telephone line between Berlin and New York was 
 inaugurated. 
1936 The first, all glass, windowless building was completed 
 in Toledo, OH. The building was the new home of the 
 Owens-Illinois Glass Company Laboratory. 
1943 The Pentagon was dedicated as the world's largest office 
 building just outside Washington, DC, in Arlington, VA. 
 The structure covers 34 acres of land and has 17 miles of 
 corridors. 
1955 The first solar-heated, radiation-cooled house was built 
 by Raymond Bliss in Tucson, AZ. 
1967 The first National Football League Super Bowl was played. 
 The Green Bay Packers defeated the Kansas City Chiefs of the 
 American Football League. The final score was 35-10. 
1973 U.S. President Nixon announced the suspension of all U.S. 
 offensive action in North Vietnam. He cited progress in peace 
 negotiations as the excuse. 
1974 "Happy Days" premiered on ABC-TV. 
1987 Paramount Home Video reported that it would place a 
 commercial at the front of one of its video releases for the 
 first time. It was a 30-second Diet Pepsi ad at the 
 beginning of "Top Gun." 
2001 Wikipedia was launched. 
2003 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the U.S. Congress had 
 permission to repeatedly extend copyright protection. 
2006 NASA's Stardust space probe mission was completed when 
 it's sample return capsule returned to Earth with comet dust 
 from comet Wild 2.
2015  smiled.


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Priority: Monitor or RAM ? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, January 14

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Oregon woman, who was too drunk to find car with month-old baby inside. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, January 14 1878 Alexander Graham Bell demonstrated the telephone for Britain's Queen Victoria. History ______________________________________________________ To believe is to know you believe, and to know you believe is not to believe. --- Jean-Paul Sartre (1905 - 1980) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A man goes into the confession booth at church. "Forgive me father, for I have sinned." "What is your sin, my son?" Asks the priest. "Well, about a month ago I was in the library until closing time, and when I wanted to leave it started to rain very heavily and didn't let up. After some time me and the librarian lost our patience and... well.. partied all night, if you catch my drift." "That is bad but not horrible, my son," Said the priest, "if it is a one-time slip, God will forgive you." "That's just the thing," said the man, "about a week ago I helped my neighbor fix her shutters, and when I wanted to go home it started raining heavily and... well.. you know, all night long." The priest remains silent. The man covers his face in his hands and starts sobbing, "What should I do now, father?" "What should you DO??" Screamed the priest, "You should get out of here right now before it rains!" ______________________________________________________ The formula for a happy marriage is the same as how to live in California; if you find a fault don't dwell on it. ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big version ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ \ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Terra Nicole Brandenberg, 31, West Linn, Oregon
Oregon woman was too drunk to find car with month-old baby inside. A woman whose blood-alcohol level was more than three times the legal limit was arrested Wednesday after police say she falsely reported her car stolen with her 4-week-old son inside. Terra Nicole Brandenburg, 31, apparently misplaced her SUV after she bought wine at a gas station, said Sgt. Dave Kempas, a West Linn Police Department spokesman. The baby was found unharmed inside the car, as was a 3-year old Doberman Pinscher, he said. Police say that Brandenburg, who who lives in West Linn and Oregon City, had purchased gas at a Fred Meyer in Oregon City and was driving to West Linn when her 2006 BMW sport utility vehicle hit the Oregon City-West Linn Arch Bridge. She pulled the damaged vehicle into an apartment complex across the street from a 76 gas station in West Linn, apparently to use the restroom, Kempas said. She bought a box of wine and left. Brandenburg then went back inside and told a clerk her car had been stolen with her baby inside. She started making calls to family, which the clerk thought was strange, Kempas said. The clerk told Brandenburg to call police, which she did. Responding officers quickly ascertained the SUV was not stolen. West Linn's police dispatch, which had sent a request for an Amber Alert to the Oregon State Police at 5:09 p.m., canceled it eight minutes later, Kempas said. At one point, Brandenburg ran from a police lieutenant who easily caught her, Kempas said. Her blood-alcohol level was 0.25 percent, he said. In Oregon, the legal limit is 0.08 percent. Brandenburg was lodged at the Clackamas County Jail on accusations of driving under the influence of intoxicants, first- and second-degree criminal mistreatment, reckless endangering, second-degree child neglect, initiating a false report, reckless driving, and disorderly conduct, according to a news release from the West Linn Police Department. Brandenburg's bail was set at $63,500, according to the news release. The baby was picked up by his father, Kempas said.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Rita Re: RAM or monitor Dear Webby, I am going to buy myself a brand new computer. I can't quite get my dream system and have to cut corners either on RAM or on monitor size. Thanks Rita Dear Rita Skimp on the RAM and get the best monitor you can. RAM shortage only leads to temporary annoyances, but a too small or too coarse monitor will lead to vision problems that are permanent. You can always get more RAM later, but you can't get better eyes. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Little Johnny has been bringing his drawings home from kindergarten everyday since he started a month ago. Each day his mother admires the pictures and hangs them on the refrigerator. One thing starts bothering her though. Little Johnny only uses black and browns for his drawings. Fearing a problem with her young son and not wanting to make it worse, she decides to take him to a child psychologist. The psychologist delicately goes to work. He gives Johnny a battery of psychological tests. He chats with Johnny. Everything seems perfectly normal. Everyday for two weeks, the tests continue. Yet everyday, little Johnny continues to bring home drawings in only black and brown. Frustrated at not being able to get to the root of the problem and fearful that something is terrible wrong, the child psychologist decides to give little Johnny some paper and a box of crayons and observe what happens. Little Johnny opens the box of crayons and says "Oh WOW! A new box of crayons! At school we only have old boxes. The only ones left in mine are black and brown!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with thecost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cake Dome Heat Saver We occasionally purchase cakes from the grocery store deli that come with those plastic domed lids. I saved the last couple, sure I could figure out something useful to do with it. Well, I realized they make great heat savers for your plate of food if you're not quite ready to eat. Also, they would be great for summertime to place over plates and avoid bugs on your food. These are both things that have come in very useful for us, hopefully they will for you too. :) By melissa [269] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Do you know the main difference between a violin and a viola ? A viola apparently burns longer. ___________________________________________________
Toto - Africa (like you've never heard)
____________________________________________________ The customer in the Italian restaurant was so pleased that he asked to speak to the chef. The owner proudly led him into the kitchen and introduced him to the chef. "Your veal parmigiana was superb," the customer said. "I just spent a month in Italy, and yours is better than any I ever had over there." "Naturally," the chef said. "Over there, they use domestic cheese. Ours is imported." ____________________________________________________ The veterinarian told Trisha that her dog needed some exercise. You need to make sure the dog runs around, the doctor said. Try playing a game of fetch the ball. "I can't play fetch with my dog," Trisha said. "Why not?" the doctor asked. "Because," she replied, "He can't throw." ____________________________________________________
Take a walk in the rain and not get wet.

Today, January 14, in
1639 Connecticut's first constitution, the "Fundamental Orders," 
 was adopted. 
1784 The United States ratified a peace treaty with England 
 ending the Revolutionary War. 
1858 French emperor Napoleon III escaped an attempt on his life. 
1873 John Hyatt's 1869 invention ‘Celluloid’ was registered as 
 a trademark. 
1878 Alexander Graham Bell demonstrated the telephone for 
 Britain's Queen Victoria. 
1907 An earthquake killed over 1,000 people in Kingston, Jamaica. 
1943 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt became the first U.S. 
 President to fly in an airplane while in office. He flew from 
 Miami, FL, to French Morocco where he met with British Prime 
 Minister Winston Churchill to discuss World War II. 
1953 Josip Broz Tito was elected president of Yugoslavia by the 
 country's Parliament. 
1954 Marilyn Monroe and Joe DiMaggio were married. The marriage 
 only lasted nine months. 
1954 The Hudson Motor Car Company merged with Nash-Kelvinator. 
 The new company was called the American Motors Corporation. 
1969 An explosion aboard the U.S. aircraft carrier Enterprise 
 off Hawaii killed 25 crew members. 
1985 Martina Navratilova won her 100th tournament. She joined 
 Jimmy Connors and Chris Evert Lloyd as the only professional 
 tennis players to win 100 tournaments. 
1993 The British government pledged to introduce legislation to 
 criminalize invasions of privacy by the press. 
1994 U.S. President Clinton and Russian President Boris Yeltsin 
 signed Kremlin accords to stop aiming missiles at any nation 
 and to dismantle the nuclear arsenal of Ukraine. 
1996 Juan Garcia Abrego was arrested by Mexican agents. The 
 alleged drug lord was handed over to the FBI the next day. 
1998 Whitewater prosecutors questioned Hillary Rodham Clinton at 
 the White House for 10 minutes about the gathering of FBI 
 background files on past Republican political appointees. 
1998 In Dallas, researchers report an enzyme that slows the 
 aging process and cell death. 
1999 The U.S. proposed the lifting of the U.N. ceilings on the 
 sale of oil in Iraq. The restriction being that the money be 
 used to buy medicine and food for the Iraqi people. 
2000 A U.N. tribunal sentenced five Bosnian Croats to up to 
 25 years for the 1993 massacre of over 100 Muslims in a 
 Bosnian village. 
2004 In St. Louis, a Lewis and Clark Exhibition opened at the 
 Missouri History Museum. The exhibit featured 500 rare and 
 priceless objects used by the Corps of Discovery. 
2005 A probe, from the Cassini-Huygens mission, sent back pictures 
 during and after landing on Saturn's moon Titan. The mission was 
 launched on October 15, 1997.
2015  smiled.


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Child safe way to deal with telemarketers 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, January 13

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a British Mother of three, who was arrested for giving drugs to Teenage boy to keep him awake for sex’ with her Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, January 13 1128 Pope Honorius II granted a papal sanction to the military order known as the Knights Templar. He declared it to be an army of God. History ______________________________________________________ The quickest way of ending a war is to lose it. --- George Orwell (1903 - 1950) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A cantor, the man who sings the prayers at a synagogue, brags before his congregation in a booming, bellowing voice: "Two years ago I insured my voice with Lloyds of London for $750,000." There is a hushed and awed silence in the crowded room. Suddenly, from the back of the room, the quiet voice of an elderly woman is heard, "So what did you do with the money?" ______________________________________________________ A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the register.There is a Wal-Mart "associate" standing there with dark shades on.She says, "Excuseme sir... can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" He says, "Ma'am I'm blind but if you will drop it on the coun- ter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound that it makes." She didn't believe him, but dropped it on the counter anyway. He said, "That's a 6' graphite rod with a Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line. It's a good all around rod and reel and it's $20.00". She says, "That's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter.I think it's what I'm looking for so I'll take it." He walks behind the counter to the register, and in the meantime the woman farts. At first she is embarrassed but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was her..being blind he wouldn't know that she was the only person around.He rings up the sale and says, "That will be $25.50." She says, "But didn't you say it was $20.00?" He says, "Yes ma'am, the rod and reel is $20.00, the duck call is $3.00, and the catfish stink bait is $2.50." ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big version ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ \ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Caroline Lea 36, Clifton Drive, Lancashire, England
Mother of three Caroline Lea was arrested for giving drugs to Teenage boy to keep him awake for sex’ with her A 15-year-old boy was given drugs by a 36-year-old mother of three to keep him awake for sex, a court has heard. Caroline Lea is said to have slept with the youngster on a regular basis for several months before he said he realised he needed to find a girlfriend of his own age. The defendant, from Blackpool, Lancashire, is also accused of taking part in a threesome with another 15-year-old complainant and his young friend, as well as allegedly sexually touching a third boy of the same age. Lea denies committing any sexual offences and told police that the threesome allegation was “nonsense”. A jury at Preston Crown Court today heard evidence from her accusers including a youth who said Lea initiated their first sexual encounter by inviting him to her bedroom to watch a film. In his police interview, the complainant said he was “shocked” and pushed Lea away on her bed when she tried to kiss him but then “changed my mind because I'm a lad”. He said the defendant performed oral sex on him before they had intercourse in several positions. He said: “We did everything really. Everything you name, everything she wanted to do.” The interviewing detective asked him: “What ended that first sexual encounter?” The teenager replied: “We stopped because we were tired.” The sexual relationship continued as he stayed over at her former home in the resort, the court was told. He added: “Sometimes I was a bit tired and she would give me speed (amphetamines) to stay awake.” He said the defendant was usually sober during sex except for one occasion. Asked what made him decide to stop the alleged relationship, he said: “Because it was wrong, because I'm 15. ”I have a life ahead of me. I have got to go out and get a girlfriend of my own age.“ He said he also listened to the advice of his friends who told him the defendant was ”ruining“ his life. Lea, of Clifton Drive, denies seven counts of engaging in sexual activity with a child on various dates between December 2013 and March 2014. She has also pleaded not guilty to one count of allowing her home to be used for smoking cannabis and a separate count of supplying amphetamines, a Class B drug, to another.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jeanie Re: Child safe way to deal with telemarketers Dear Webby, you had some good advice some time ago on how to deal with telemarketers. That's perfect when I answer the phone, but really not suitable when my daughter answers it. What have you got that cold be used by kids when a telemarketer or ex-boyfriend calls? Thanks, Jeanie Dear Jeanie Just write one of these numbers on a note and keep it by the phone. Pick the one with the area code closest to you. Then ask the kids to tell telemarketers or exes that you had left a message that they should call you at that number. (212) 479-7990 Los Angeles Area: 626-207-5412 310-495-5412 213-363-5412 323-281-9412 909-650-5412 714-607-5412 818-663-5412 562-223-5412 310-217-7638 949-256-5412 San Diego: 619-801-5412 760-204-5412 San Francisco: 415-620-5412 415-356-9833 Oakland: 510-699-5412 San Jose: 408-344-9412 Boston: 617-861-3962 Chicago: 773-509-5096 Atlanta: 770-908-7383 770-723-7256 Orlando: 407-916-ROCK Birmingham: 205-250-0408 Denver: 303-575-1696 Seattle: 206-781-3928 Washington DC: 202-452-7468 Tampa Bay: 727-579-2078 Rochester: 585-399-5902 Rhode Island: 401-648-6543 New Hampshire: 603-413-2340 England: 09061 100 596 Dublin, Ireland: (+353) (01) 2194862 More numbers are popping up occasionally at http://rejectionline.com/copycat.html Go ahead and pretend to be a telemarketer or ex and call one of those numbers. It's a hoot, and it works. Just don't think it's me at that number. Those numbers are from the "Rejection Line". Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ === A Conversation Between Moses and God "Excuse me, sir." "Is that you again, Moses?" "I'm afraid it is, sir." "What is it this time, Moses. More computer problems?" "How did you guess?" "I don't have to guess, Moses. Remember?" "Oh, yeah. I forgot." "Tell me what you want, Moses." "But you already know. Remember?" "Moses!" "Sorry, sir." "Well, go ahead, Moses. Spit it out!" "Well, I have a question, sir. You know those ten things you sent me." "You mean the commandments, Moses?" "That's it. I was wondering if they were important." "What do you mean 'were important, Moses? Of course, they are important. Otherwise I wouldn't have sent them to you." "Well, sorry, but I lost them. I could say the dog ate them, but of course you would see right through that." "What do you mean 'you lost them! Are you trying to tell me you didn't save them, Moses?" "No, sir. I forgot." "Well, My Son always saves, Moses." "Yeah, I know. You told me that before. I was going to, but I forgot. I did send them to some people before I lost them though. " "And did you hear back from any of them?" "You already know I did." "What about the one guy who said he never uses 'shalt not'. Can he change the words a little bit?" "Yes, Moses. As long as he doesn't change the meaning." "And what about the guy who thought your stance was a little harsh and recommended calling them the Ten Suggestions or letting people pick one or two to try for a while?" "Moses, I'll act like I didn't hear that." "I think that means, 'no'. Well, what about the guy who said I was scamming him?" "I think that is spamming, Moses." "Oh, yeah. I e-mailed him back and told him I don't even eat that stuff and I have no idea how you can send it to someone through a computer." "And what he did say?" "You know what he said. He used Your name in vain. You don't think he might have sent me one of those plagues and that's the reason I lost those ten things, do you?" "They're called viruses, Moses." "Whatever! This computer stuff is just too much for me. Can we just go back to those stone tablets? It was hard on my back taking them out and reading them each day, but I never lost them." "We'll do it the new way, Moses." "I was afraid you would say that, sir." "Moses, what did I tell you to do if you messed up?" "You told me to hold up this rat and stretch it out toward the computer." "It's a mouse, Moses. Mouse! Mouse! And did you do that?" "No, I decided to try the technical support first. After all, who knows more about this stuff than you, and I really like your hours. By the way, sir, did Noah have two of these mice on the ark?" "No, Moses." "One other thing. Why didn't you name them frogs instead of mice, because didn't you tell me the thing they sit on is a pad?" "I didn't name them, Moses. Man did, and you can call yours a frog if you want to." "Oh, that explains it. Kind of like Adam, huh, sir? I bet some woman told him to call it a mouse. After all, wasn't it a woman who named one of the computers Apple?" "Say good night, Moses." "Wait a minute, sir. I am stretching out the mouse and it seems to be working. Yes, a couple of the ten things have come back." "Which ones are they, Moses?" "Let's see. 'Thou shalt not steal from any grave an image and 'Thou shalt not uncover thy neighbor's wife.' "Turn the computer off, Moses. I'm sending you another set of stone tablets. How does 'Same Day Air' sound?" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with thecost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Pre-Measure Water in Carafe Once in a while I will not estimate the water needed to fill my tea carafe and this makes a mess. I just got tired of cleaning up water spills. So now I fill the carafe with water, then pour it into an empty kettle. I have the exact amount of water needed to brew a lovely pot of tea. I then label it so I know what kind of tea is inside and when I brewed it. Win Win! PBP By Sandi/Poor But Proud [462]
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A guy was invited to some old friends' home for dinner. His buddy preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. He was impressed since the couple had been married almost 70 years, and while the wife was off in the kitchen he said to his buddy, "I think it's wonderful that after all the years you've been married, you still call your wife those pet names." His buddy hung his head. " To tell you the truth, I forgot her name about ten years ago." ___________________________________________________
dog walks on two legs
____________________________________________________ The Navy Captain looked the crew over and said, "Men before anything more is said, I would like to clear up one thing. This isn't MY ship, this is YOUR ship." From deep in the ranks came a voice: "Great! Hey guys, let's sell the silly old tub!" ____________________________________________________ Church Bulletin Board Bloopers: Next Friday we will be serving hot gods for lunch. *If you would like to make a donation, fill out a form, enclose a check and drip in the collection basket. *Jan 25: An evening of boweling at Lincoln Country Club. *Women's Luncheon: Potluck Lunch. Polly Phillips will give the medication. *If you choose to heave during the Postlude, please do so quietly. *We are grateful for the help of those who cleaned up the grounds around the church building and the rector. *Hymn: "I Love Thee My Ford." *Sign-up sheet for anyone wishing to be water baptized on the table in the foyer. *Helpers are needed! Please sign up on the information sheep. *The Advent Retreat will be held in the lover level of St. Mary's Cathedral. *The District Duperintendent will be meeting with the church board. *As soon as the weather clears up, the men will have a goof outing. *Fifth Sinday is Lent. *Thank you dead friends. *Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding. *Lent is that period for preparing for Holy Weed and Eater. *Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget all His benefits. *For the word of God is quick and powerful...piercing even to the dividing asunder of soup and spirit. *Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peach to men. *The lovers in the exhaust fan are not working. *Head Deacon and Dead Deaconess ____________________________________________________
Laughing hard at animals.

Today, January 13, in
1128 Pope Honorius II granted a papal sanction to the military 
 order known as the Knights Templar. He declared it to be an 
 army of God. 
1854 Anthony Faas of Philadelphia, PA, was granted the first U.S. 
 patent for the accordion. He made improvements to the keyboard 
 and enhanced the sound. 
1900 In Austria-Hungary, Emperor Franz Joseph decreed that German 
 would be the language of the imperial army to combat Czech 
 nationalism. 
1906 Hugh Gernsback, of the Electro Importing Company, advertised 
 radio receivers for sale for the price of just $7.50 in 
 "Scientific American" magazine. 
1928 Ernst F. W. Alexanderson gave the first public demonstration 
 of television. 
1942 Henry Ford patented the plastic automobile referred to as the 
 "Soybean Car." The car was 30% lighter than the average car. 
1984 Wayne Gretzky extended his NHL consecutive scoring streak 
 to 45 games. 
1992 Japan apologized for forcing tens of thousands of Korean 
 women to serve as sex slaves for Japanese soldiers during WWII. 
1998 ABC and ESPN negotiated to keep "Monday Night Football" for 
 $1.15 billion a season. 
2002 Japan and Singapore signed a free trade pact that would 
 remove tariffs on almost all goods traded between them. 
2002 U.S. President George W. Bush fainted after choking on 
 a pretzel. 
2009 Ethiopian military forces began pulling out of Somalia, 
 where they had tried to maintain order for nearly two years. 
2015  smiled.


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Can you trust investment advice that comes in as spam? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, January 12

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Missouri Sheriffs Deputy arrested for child porn Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, January 12 49 BC Julius Caesar crossed the Rubicon River signaling the start of war between Rome and Gaul. History ______________________________________________________ A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents. --- G. C. Lichtenberg ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ During a field exercise at Camp Lejeune, N.C., a squad was on a night patrol through some thick brush. Halfway through, they realized they had lost their map. The patrol navigator informed them, "Our odds are 1 in 360 that we'll get out of here." "How did you come up with that?" someone asked. "Well," he replied, "it's unfortunate that the compass broke when Bob stepped on it, because quite often one of the degrees on the compass is right." ----------- Just remember, moss grows on the north side of lost compasses. ______________________________________________________ Home computers are the perfect thing for women who don't feel that men provide them with enough frustration. ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big version ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ \ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Juan T. Jones, 27, Springfield, Missouri
Missouri Sheriffs Deputy arrested for child porn A Greene County sheriff's deputy at the center of a federal child porn investigation was fired and arrested Wednesday by Sheriff Jim Arnott. Juan T. Jones, 27, a patrol deputy employed by the sheriff's office since September 2013, was charged in a federal complaint Wednesday with possession of child pornography. Arnott said at a press conference Wednesday afternoon that he was "disappointed" with and "ashamed" of Jones' conduct. The case was investigated by the Southwest Missouri Cyber Crimes Task Force, and Arnott said it was brought to his attention on Tuesday. The sheriff's office is conducting an internal investigation of Jones in addition to the criminal investigation being carried out by the task force, according to Arnott. A criminal complaint filed Wednesday afternoon says authorities started investigating Jones in September when a tip came in from the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children that someone was storing child porn on a Dropbox account. Authorities tracked the account to Jones, according to the complaint. In October, authorities received a warrant to search Jones' Dropbox account. The search turned up 168 videos and about 1,500 images of child porn, according to the complaint. The images depicted children as young as infants engaged in sexual acts, the complaint says. Jones allegedly told investigators during an interview Wednesday that he has looked at child porn for about 10 years. He allegedly told investigators he had stored child porn on his Dropbox and Tumblr accounts. He told investigators he exchanged child porn with other people over the Internet, the complaint says. The complaint says Jones lives in the 2600 block of East Atlantic Street, and investigators served a federal search warrant Wednesday at Jones' residence. Sheriff Arnott said Jones is in the custody of the U.S. Marshals Service. The complaint also says Jones was an employee of the Springfield Cardinals. Jones was the subject of a December 2014 feature story in the News-Leader saying he was the county's only black patrol deputy. In the story, Jones said he grew up poor in St. Louis in and out of 21 foster homes. He said he was homeless in Springfield as recently as 2007. "I grew up around drugs and alcohol and domestic abuse," he said. "Crack was the main choice of drug. I didn't meet my dad until 2013." The story said Jones was married and has two young daughters. Arnott said at the press conference Wednesday his main concern now is getting justice for the victims in this case. He said he was not aware of any local victims, but he asks anyone with information on this case to contact the sheriff's office at 868-4040. "I’m so disappointed, but at the same time proud of the job well done seeking justice for child victims who are exploited on the Internet," Arnott said. Arnott said he hadn't noticed any questionable behavior on Jones' part in his time with the sheriff's office.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Maryann Re: Investment advice via email Dear Webby, I got an email today that recommended that I buy a certain stock because it was bound to go up. Is it safe to trust that? Maryann Dear Maryann Always remember that spammers lie. If you have stock of that company, dump it, fast! Obviously it is going to drop soon and they are trying to con those people, who are dumb enough to believe spam, into taking it off their hands. If you want a good investment tip, try this: Spend a Saturday afternoon at the biggest computer store in your area, and try EVERY keyboard they have, until you find one that feels perfect for your hands and your posture. Then buy twenty or more of those at wholesale. Not only will keyboard prices go up steadily with normal inflation, but this way you will always have a perfect keyboard and increase your own productivity. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ German scientists dug 50 meters underground and discovered small pieces of copper. After studying these pieces for a long time, Germany announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a nation-wide telephone network. Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed. They ordered their own scientists to dig too. 100 meters down, they found small pieces of glass and they soon announced that the ancient Brits 35,000 years ago already had a nationwide fiber network. Scottish scientists were outraged. They dug 200 meters underground, but found absolutely nothing. So they concluded that the ancient Scotts 55,000 years ago had cellular telephones under their kilts. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Recycled Plastic Bottle Herb Planters This is a simple recycled plastic bottle project that will allow you to grow your herbs year round. Furthermore, the herb planters are easy to care for and don't need to be watered daily. Approximate Time: 30 minutes Yield: 1 recycled planterplanter before adding soil Supplies: recycled plastic drink bottles (depends on the number of planters you want to make) pair of scissors pocket knife roll of jute or macrame twine 8 to 15 small pebbles plant soil to fill the top of the bottles, amount will depend on how many planters you make) 3 herb seeds or herb plants Steps: Remove the bottle cap and clean the bottle with water. Use the blade of your pocket knife and insert it in the bottle just under the label. Cut a small slit in the bottle so you can insert your scissors. Cut around the label of the bottle. You now have two pieces of the bottle. Take the neck of your bottle piece and turn it upside down. Insert the small blade of your pocket knife into the bottle just below the label. You want to make a small round cut in the bottle neck. Repeat step 6 making a second round cut in the bottle neck. The second cut is approximately 1 inch apart. Cut your piece of jute or macramé cord. Youll need to double your cord. It is easy to use the bottom of the bottle to determine the length of cord you'll need. I normally cut my cord 1 inch above the bottom of the bottle. When I cut the cord I made sure it is doubled. Insert both ends of the cord into the two holes on the neck of the bottle. Pull both ends of cord through the neck of the bottle. They should exit out the opening of the bottle. Use small rocks or pebbles to fill the neck of the bottle. The rocks hold the dirt in place. Place dirt in the bottle. Fill the reservoir of the bottle with water. Place the neck of the bottle in the reservoir. Make sure the two ends of the cord are in the water. Now you're ready to plant seeds or small herb plants in the recycled bottle planters. The cords in the water will keep your soil nice and moist. When the reservoir starts to be low on water it's time to fill the reservoir. After I plant my seeds or starter plants I will wet my soil for the first time. After this there is no need to water the plants. You'll only have to refill the planters when they run low on water. By poehere [3] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Two Rednecks rob an armored truck and all they get away with are two sacks, so they keep one each. After awhile they meet again and one asks the other, "What did you find in your sack?" "Half a million" "Aw... that's a lot! What did you do with all that cash?" "I bought a house and a boat. How about your sack?" "Bah... mine was full o' bills" "And what did you do with them?" "Er, well . . . little by little, I'm paying them off." ___________________________________________________
from beverage to bench
____________________________________________________ Sally had three very active boys. One evening she was playing cops and robbers with them in the back yard after dinner. One of the boys "shot" his mother and yelled, "Bang! You're dead." She slumped to the ground and when she didn't get up right away, a neighbor ran over to see if she had been hurt in the fall. When the neighbor bent over, she opened one eye and said, "Shhh. Don't give me away. It's the only chance I've had to rest all day". ____________________________________________________ There are only two kinds of drivers: Idiots and Maniacs. Idiots include anyone that drives slower than you, and the Maniacs are everyone that drives faster than you. ____________________________________________________
There once was a man who lived in a cave...

Today, January 12, in
49 BC Julius Caesar crossed the Rubicon River signaling the 
start of war between Rome and Gaul. 
1519 Holy Roman Emperor Maximilian I died. 
1773 The first public museum in America was established 
 in Charleston, SC. 
1875 Kwang-su was made emperor of China. 
1879 The British-Zulu War began when the British 
 invaded Zululand. 
1882 Thomas Edison's central station on Holborn Viaduct 
 in London began operation. 
1896 At Davidson College, several students took x-ray 
 photographs. They created the first X-ray photographs 
 to be made in America. 
1904 Henry Ford set a new land speed record when he reached 
 91.37 miles per hour. 
1908 A wireless message was sent long-distance for the first 
 time from the Eiffel Tower in Paris. 
1915 The U.S. House of Representatives rejected a proposal to 
 give women the right to vote. 
1938 Austria recognized the Franco government in Spain. 
1940 Soviet bombers raided cities in Finland. 
1942 U.S. President Roosevelt created the National War 
 Labor Board. 
1943 The Office of Price Administration announced that standard 
 frankfurters/hot dogs/wieners would be replaced by 
 'Victory Sausages.' 
1945 During World War II, Soviet forces began a huge offensive 
 against the retreating Germans in Eastern Europe. 
1964 Leftist rebels in Zanzibar began their successful revolt 
 against the government and a republic was proclaimed. 
1966 U.S. President Johnson said in his State of the Union 
 address that the United States should stay in South Vietnam 
 until Communist aggression there was ended. 
1970 The breakaway state of Biafra capitulated and the 
 Nigerian civil war came to an end. 
1971 "All In the Family" debuted on CBS-TV. 
1973 Yassar Arafat was re-elected as head of the 
 Palestinian Liberation Organization. 
1991 The U.S. Congress passed a resolution authorizing 
 President Bush to use military power to force Iraq out 
 of Kuwait. 
1995 Northern Ireland Secretary Patrick Mayhew announced that 
 as of January 16 British troops would no longer carry out 
 daylight street patrols in Belfast. 
1998 Tyson Foods Inc. pled guilty to giving $12,000 to former 
 Agriculture Secretary Mike Espy. Tyson was fined $6 million. 
1998 19 European nations agreed to prohibit human cloning. 
1998 Linda Tripp provided Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr's 
 office with taped conversations between herself and former 
 White House intern Monica Lewinsky. 
2000 The U.S. Supreme Court, in a 5-4 ruling, gave police 
 broad authority to stop and question people who run at the 
 sight of an officer. 
2005 NASA launched "Deep Impact". The spacecraft was planned 
 to impact on Comet Tempel 1 after a six-month, 268 million-mile 
 journey. 
2006 The U.S. Mint began shipping new 5-cent coins to the 12 
 regional Federal Reserve Banks. The coin has an image of Thomas 
 Jefferson taken from a 1800 Rembrandt Peale portrait in which 
 the president is looking forward. Since 1909, when presidents 
 were first depicted on circulating coins, all presidents had 
 been shown in profile. 
2015  smiled.


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How do USB drives work? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, January 8
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Thank you, Sig!!


I completely forgot to warn you that today, Friday,
I have to go to Calgary for shots into my eyeballs.
That means no Saturday, Sunday or Monday issues.
Sorry about the short notice!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida woman, who shots up meth, turned Walmart into personal buffet while riding drunk on motorized shopping cart Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, January 8 1815 The Battle of New Orleans began. The War of 1812 had officially ended on December 24, 1814, with the signing of the Treaty of Ghent. The news of the signing had not reached British troops in time to prevent their attack on New Orleans. History ______________________________________________________ Art is making something out of nothing and selling it. --- Frank Zappa (1940 - 1993) A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience. --- Doug Larson ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. "In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. "However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative." A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right." ______________________________________________________ A woman called her insurance company to see if her policy covered psychiatric treatment. After reviewing her policy, the agent told her, "Yes, Virginia, there is an insanity clause!" ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big version ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ \ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Josseleen Lopez, 25, Lecano, Florida
Florida woman shoots up meth, turns Walmart into personal buffet while riding drunk on motorized shopping cart A Florida woman got a serious case of the munchies after getting high in a Walmart. Even though she is looking and acting like a teen-age hooker, Josseleen Elida Lopez is actually 25. She was arrested after raiding a Lecanto Walmart and chomping down on several meals at the retail giant, Citrus County sheriffs said. Lopez was riding a motorized shopping cart through the shop with a half-empty wine bottle, the loss prevention officer told deputies. Walmart became a personal buffet for Lopez as she grabbed a sushi package and ate one roll, then put it back on the shelf, deputies said. The hungry suspect did the same with a package of mini-muffins and cinnamon rolls. She also ate most of a rotisserie chicken sitting on the floor before authorities stopped her hungry wreckage. The homeless woman ate through $32.36 worth of items, deputies said. Police found three empty syringes in her bags, which Lopez admitted were for “shooting up meth,” according to the affidavit. She told police that she was “hungry and did not want to take any of the items outside of the store,” but tried eating everything she could while she was still there. She admitted to officers that she knew she was wrong, but did it anyway. She was charged with petit theft for stealing the meals and drug possession.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Fiona Re: How do those USB drives work? Dear Webby, How do those USB drives work? Does it increase the cable salad? Fiona Dear Fiona USB hard drives plug into any USB port on any Pentium or newer machine. They used to come with a CD that you run on the computer and that took about two seconds to install the necessary drivers and settings. On Windows 7 and newer, the drivers are already built in. whenever you plug in the USB drive, it simply shows up as another harddrive. On older machines, that external USB drive will be the fastest drive. To eliminate having to crawl under the desk and mess with the cable salad every time you bring the USB drive to each computer, get some simple USB extension cords. Plug one end into the computer and glue the other end to the side of the monitor with some double-sided tape or hot-melt glue. Considering how many cameras and other accessories need access to a USB port, that should have become standard five years ago, but just like with mice, hardware is not designed for the humans that use it but for the robots that make it. Personally, I connect a 6 port USB hub to the end of the USB extension cable. They are $1 - $3 at Dollar stores. Some USB drives take the power that they need from the computer, others have their own little power cube that needs to be plugged into an outlet. Since you are probably short of outlets anyway, just get a cheap 6 outlet power bar next time they go on sale and glue them somewhere easily reachable near each computer. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A mother and a daughter are shopping in the mall, when the mother eyes an expensive mink fur coat. "This year," she says, "I think that I will buy my present instead of making you and dad shop for me." The daughter protests, "But mom, some helpless, poor creature has to suffer so that you can have this." Don't worry honey," says the mother, "your father won't get the bill till a month after Christmas." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Egg-Free Meringues With the prices of eggs going up (in my area, they are $3.99 a dozen at the cheapest) and then having to separate your yolks and find a use for them. Why not just use something you're going to pour down the drain like garbanzo bean juice? I've read about how the brining liquid in a can of beans can act as a substitute for eggs. Amazingly enough, not only does it work famously, it also tastes amazing. You can get 50 or so regular sized meringues with this recipe. Approximate Time: 2 hours Yield: 50 meringues Ingredients: 6 Tbsp brine from can of garbanzo beans 1/2 tsp cream of tartar 3/4 cup fine sugar (I grind my own white sugar in a spice blender) pinch salt 1/2 tsp vanilla extract Steps: Preheat oven to 225 degrees F. Line a baking tray with parchment paper, Silpat, or foil. (I've used all of them for this and they all work great.) Put garbanzo liquid and cream of tartar in a big bowl and whisk on medium-high speed for a minute until it starts foaming up. While whisking, add your sugar little by little. Add pinch of salt. After a few minutes, drizzle in your vanilla extract. Continue whisking until glossy and stiff peaks start to form. This took me about 10 minutes. Fill piping bag with meringue mixture. You can also use a plastic bag and snip off the corner. Pipe cookies onto lined baking sheet. Bake for 40 minutes at 225 degrees F. Shut oven off and without opening oven door, leave meringues in there for about an hour to dry. Remove, let cool. Meringues will pop right off sheet when cool. If they stick a little, get under them with a knife. Enjoy. :) Source: Revolution Vegetale, an awesome vegan cooking group By attosa [157] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A couple had a fatal car accident on their way to get married. The couple found themselves sitting outside Heaven's Gate waiting on St. Peter to do an intake. While waiting, they wondered if they could possibly get married in Heaven. Saint Peter showed up and they asked him. Peter said, "I don't know, this is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out." and he left. The couple sat and waited for an answer ... for two months ... and they began to wonder if they really should get married in Heaven, what with the eternal aspect of it all. "What if it doesn't work?" they wondered, "Are we stuck together forever?" Peter returned after yet another month, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informed the couple, "you can get married in Heaven." "Great," said the couple, "but what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?" St. Peter, red-faced, slammed his clipboard onto the ground. "What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple. "GET REAL !" St Peter shouted, "it took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it will take me to find two lawyers and a judge?" ___________________________________________________
scrapes ice from wrong car, and other funny commercials
____________________________________________________ Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. Tom slept well and in fact beat the alarm in the morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and cheerfully drove to work on the scenic route. "Boss," he said, "The pill actually worked!" "That's nice" said the boss. "But where were you yesterday?" ____________________________________________________ A widow recently married a widower. Soon after the marriage she was accosted by a friend who laughingly remarked - "I suppose, like all men who have been married before, your husband sometimes talks about his first wife?" "Oh, not any more, he doesn't," the other replied. "What stopped him?" "I started talking about my next husband." ____________________________________________________
Top 100 pictures of the day for 2015.

Today, January 8, in
1642 Astronomer Galileo Galilei died in Arcetri, Italy. 
1675 The first corporation was chartered in the United States. 
 The company was the New York Fishing Company. 
1815 The Battle of New Orleans began. The War of 1812 had 
 officially ended on December 24, 1814, with the signing of 
 the Treaty of Ghent. The news of the signing had not reached 
 British troops in time to prevent their attack on New Orleans. 
1838 Alfred Vail demonstrated a telegraph code he had devised 
 using dots and dashes as letters. The code was the predecessor 
 to Samuel Morse's code. 
1856 Borax (hydrated sodium borate) was discovered by Dr. 
 John Veatch. 
1877 Crazy Horse (Tashunca-uitco) and his warriors fought their 
 final battle against the U.S. Cavalry in Montana. 
1886 The Severn Railway Tunnel, Britain's longest, was opened. 
1889 The tabulating machine was patented by Dr. Herman Hollerith. 
 His firm, Tabulating Machine Company, later became International 
 Business Machines Corporation (IBM). 
1900 U.S. President McKinley placed Alaska under military rule. 
1900 In South Africa, General White turned back the Boers attack 
 of Ladysmith. 
1908 A catastrophic train collision occurred in the smoke-filled 
 Park Avenue Tunnel in New York City. Seventeen were killed and 
 thirty-eight were injured. The accident caused a public outcry 
 and increased demand for electric trains. 
1916 During World War I, the final withdrawal of Allied troops 
 from Gallipoli took place. 
1935 The spectrophotometer was patented by A.C. Hardy. 
1958 Bobby Fisher, at the age of 14, won the United States Chess 
 Championship for the first time. 
1959 Charles De Gaulle was inaugurated as president of France's 
 Fifth Republic. 
1962 Leonardo da Vinci's Mona Lisa was exhibited in America 
 for the first time at the National Gallery of Art in 
 Washington, DC. The next day the exhibit opened to the public. 
1973 Secret peace talks between the United States and North 
 Vietnam resumed near Paris, France. 
1973 The trial opened in Washington, of seven men accused of 
 bugging Democratic Party headquarters in the Watergate 
 apartment complex in Washington, DC. 
1982 American Telephone & Telegraph (AT&T) settled the Justice 
 Department's antitrust lawsuit against it by agreeing to divest 
 itself of the 22 Bell System companies. 
1982 The U.S. Justice Department withdrew an antitrust suit 
 against IBM. 
1992 U.S. President George H.W. Bush collapsed during a state 
 dinner in Tokyo. White House officials said Bush was suffering 
 from stomach flu. 
1994 Tonya Harding won the ladies' U.S. Figure Skating Championship 
 in Detroit, MI, a day after Nancy Kerrigan dropped out because 
 of a clubbing attack that injured her right knee. The U.S. Figure 
 Skating Association later took the title from Harding because of 
 her involvement in the attack. 
1998 Ramzi Yousef was sentenced to life in prison for his role of 
 mastermind behind the World Trade Center bombing in New York. 
1998 Scientists announced that they had discovered that galaxies 
 were accelerating and moving apart and at faster speeds. 
1999 The top two executives of Salt Lake City's Olympic Organizing 
 Committee resigned amid disclosures that civic boosters had given 
 cash to members of the International Olympic Committee. 
2009 In Egypt, archeologists entered a 4,300 year old pyramid and 
 discovered the mummy of Queen Sesheshet. 
2015  smiled.


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How to set default text size in OUTLOOK 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, January 7

Thank you Clyde !!!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Ohio Man's arrest due to Drunk-Driving Facebook Video Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, January 7 1558 Calais, the last English possession on mainland France, was recaptured by the French. History ______________________________________________________ A bore is a man who deprives you of solitude without providing you with company. --- Gian Vincenzo Gravina (1664 - 1718) The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think. --- Horace Walpole (1717 - 1797) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Bob prepared a pasta dish for a dinner party he was giving. In his haste, however, he forgot to refrigerate the spaghetti sauce, and it sat on the counter all day. He was worried about spoilage, but it was too late to cook up another batch. He called the local Poison Control Center and voiced his concern. They advised Bob to boil the sauce again. That night, the phone rang during dinner, and a guest volunteered to answer it. "Hey, Bob! It's the Poison Control Center. They want to know how the spaghetti sauce turned out." ______________________________________________________ The police chief in the Mexican border city of Ciudad Juarez says his new fleet of patrol cars won't do for his "ample" officers. Armando Castaneda says he doesn't want the fleet of 160 Chevrolet Cavaliers. He wants the roomier Ford Crown Victorias, which officers currently use. Mr Castaneda said: "The officers are very ample and very tall and don't fit comfortably inside the cars. Mr Castaneda says the Cavaliers also won't work because they are standards and officers cannot be shifting gears during high-speed chases. ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big version ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ \ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Dustin Rittgers, 28, Obetz, Ohio
Ohio Man's arrest due to Drunk-Driving Facebook Video An Ohio man took cellphone video of himself drinking while driving and posted it on Facebook, leading to his arrest hours later in a case that illustrates how social media can help law enforcement, a sheriff's office said. Someone tipped off deputies about the video after it was posted Monday, and the vehicle was stopped that afternoon south of Columbus, in Hamilton Township, the Franklin County sheriff's office said. A copy of the 12-second video provided by the sheriff's office shows a man sitting in a vehicle, looking into the camera while music plays in the background, then raising his eyebrows and taking a swig from a partially covered bottle. He doesn't speak. As the clip ends, the camera is flipped around to show a hand with only one finger raised to guide the steering wheel as a wiper moves across the vehicle's windshield. The driver, Dustin Rittgers, 28, pleaded not guilty Tuesday in Franklin County Municipal Court on five misdemeanor charges, including operating a vehicle under the influence of alcohol or drugs and having an open container in a vehicle. Court records indicate Rittgers pleaded guilty earlier this year in a separate impaired-driving case stemming from a September 2014 stop by state troopers.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: DJ Re: How to set default text size in OUTLOOK Dear Webby, I have microsoft outlook for my email.i can't keep the fonts and size permanent.i will set it the way I want,close email and when I open it again a different font and size are there. any clue? DJ Dear DJ In Outlook, the default font that is used when you create, reply to, or forward an email message is 11-point Calibri. You can change the default font and its color, size, and style — such as bold or italic. NOTE Recipients of your messages must also have the same font installed on his or her computer so that they see the message the same way it appears on your computer. If the font that you use isn't installed on the recipient's computer, then the recipient's mail program substitutes an available font. Change the default font style for new messages that you compose Click the File tab. Click Options. Click Mail. Under Compose messages, click Stationery and Fonts. On the Personal Stationery tab, under New mail messages, click Font. On the Font tab, under Font, click the font that you want to use for all new messages. If you want, select a font style and size. Click OK on the Font, the Signatures and Stationery, and the Outlook Options dialog boxes. When you create a message, the new settings take effect. Change the default font style for messages that you reply to or forward Click the File tab. Click Options. Click Mail. Under Compose messages, click Stationery and Fonts. On the Personal Stationery tab, under Replying or forwarding messages, click Font. On the Font tab, change the font options to what you want to use for future messages. Click OK on the Font, the Signatures and Stationery, and the Outlook Options dialog boxes. When you reply to or forward a message, the new settings take effect. With received messages all bets are off. If your Sweetie uses some weird and wacky font, if your computer has that font, it will use it. If not, your computer will substitute some other font. If the font size in a received message is too large or too small, hit REPLY and you will see it in YOUR defaults. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A sweet young Miss thought she might have some fun with a stiff-looking military man at a cocktail party, so she walked over and asked him when was the last time he had had sex. "1956," came his immediate reply. "No wonder you look so uptight!" she exclaimed. "Honey, you need to get out more." "I'm not sure I understand what you mean," he answered, glancing at his watch. "It's only 2014 now." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Merry Meringues A wonderfully light, easy, low calorie Christmas treat to make. Approximate Time: 2 hours, including cool time Yield: 5 dozen Ingredients: 1/2 cup sugar 1/2 cup powdered sugar 1 tsp cream of tartar dash salt 1 tsp vanilla 4 egg whites, room tempurature 1 tsp cinnamon Steps: These are possible without an electric mixer, but so much easier with! Beat the egg whites and salt until soft peaks form (about 3 minutes on high). Add in sugars, salt, vanilla and cinnamon a little bit at a time. Beat on high for about 6 minutes or until glossy peaks form. Preheat oven to 250 F. Drop by teaspoons onto ungreased cookie sheets (you'll need 4*) and bake for 50 minutes. Turn the oven OFF. Keep the cookies in the oven as it cools, for at least an hour. No peeking! Makes about 5 dozen cookies. Yummy! *You may want to half the recipe if you don't have enough sheets. These need to bake all in one batch. By Rae G. [22] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ After the revival had concluded, the three pastors were discussing the results with one another. The Methodist minister said, "The revival worked out great for us! We gained four new families." The Baptist preacher said, "We did better than that! We gained six new families." The Presbyterian pastor said, "Well, we did even better than that! We got rid of our 10 biggest trouble makers!" ___________________________________________________
Ghost Riders in the Sky written and sung by Stan Jones - rare recording
____________________________________________________ A girl says to the salesman, "I'm not sure if I should buy a sweatshirt or a windbreaker." He says, "Well, that depends. Are you going sweat, or are you gonna break wind?" ____________________________________________________ The Sunday school lesson for the day was about Noah's Ark, so the teacher decided to get her small pupils involved by playing a game in which they identified animals. "I'm going to describe something to you. Let's see if you can guess what it is. First: I'm furry with a bushy tail and I like to climb trees." The children looked at her blankly. "I also like to eat nuts, especially acorns." No response. This wasn't going well at all! Finally a kid volunteered: "Well, I know the answer has to be Jesus -- but it sure sounds like a squirrel to me!" ____________________________________________________
A few photos of the 2016 Harbin Ice and Snow Festival. The sculptures are awesome.

Today, January 7, in
1558 Calais, the last English possession on mainland France, 
 was recaptured by the French. 
1610 Galileo Galilei sighted four of Jupiter's moons. He named 
 them Io, Europa, Ganymede, and Callisto. 
1785 French aeronaut/balloonist Jean-Pierre Blanchard made the 
 first air-crossing of the English Channel from the English 
 coast to France. 
1887 Thomas Stevens completed the first worldwide bicycle trip. 
 He started his trip in April 1884. Stevens and his bike traveled 
 13,500 miles in almost three years time. 
1894 W.K. Dickson received a patent for motion picture film. 
1896 The "Fannie Farmer Cookbook" was published. 
1904 The distress signal "CQD" was established. Two years later 
 "SOS" became the radio distress signal because it was quicker to 
 send by wireless radio. 
1927 Transatlantic telephone service began between New York and 
 London. 31 calls were made on this first day. 
1932 Chancellor Heinrich Brüning declared that Germany cannot, 
 and will not, resume reparations payments. 
1940 "Gene Autry’s Melody Ranch" debuted on CBS Radio. The show 
 aired for 16 years. 
1942 The World War II siege of Bataan began. 
1949 The first photograph of genes was shown at the University of 
 Southern California in Los Angeles. 
1953 U.S. President Harry Truman announced the development of the 
 hydrogen bomb. 
1954 The Duoscopic TV receiver was unveiled this day. The TV set 
 allowed the watching of two different shows at the same time. 
1959 The United States recognized Fidel Castro's new government 
 in Cuba. 
1975 OPEC agreed to raise crude oil prices by 10%, which began a 
 time of world economic inflation. 
1979 Vietnamese forces captured the Cambodian capital of Phnom Penh, 
 overthrowing the Khmer Rouge government. 
1980 U.S. President Jimmy Carter signed legislation that authorized 
 $1.5 billion in loans for the bail out of Chrysler Corp. 
1989 Crown Prince Akihito became the emperor of Japan following the 
 death of his father, Emperor Hirohito. 
1990 The Leaning Tower of Pisa was closed to the public. The 
 accelerated rate of "leaning" raised fears for the safety of its 
 visitors. 
1996 Alvaro Arzu was elected president of Guatemala. 
1996 One of the biggest blizzards in U.S. history hit the eastern 
 states. More than 100 deaths were later blamed on the severe weather. 
1998 Former White House intern Monica Lewinsky signed an affidavit 
 denying that she had an affair with U.S. President Clinton. 
1999 U.S. President Clinton went on trial before the Senate. It was 
 only the second time in U.S. history that an impeached president 
 had gone to trial. Clinton was later acquitted of perjury and 
 obstruction of justice charges. 
2002 Microsoft Corp. chairman Bill Gates introduced a new device 
 code named Mira. The device was tablet-like and was a cross between 
 a handheld computer and a TV remote control. 
2009 Russia shut off all gas supplies to Europe through Ukraine. 
 Prime Minister Vladimir Putin publicly endorsed the move and urged 
 greater international involvement in the energy dispute. 
2015  smiled.


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How to set default text size in WORD 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, January 6

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Illinois teacher, who had sex with a minor while his mother was in the house and snooping around. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, January 6 1540 King Henry VIII of England was married to Anne of Cleves, his fourth wife. History ______________________________________________________ Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. --- Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Remember when mice had balls? Secretary: "Pastor, we've got a problem in the computer lab where you met with the confirmation class last week. Some of the boys in the class started messing with the mice." Pastor: "What?!?" (thinking: we've got mice in there!?) Secretary: "Yeah, it seems some of the boys removed their balls." Pastor (incredulously...): "Th..th...they did what??? How in the world did they do that???" Secretary: "They must have used a screwdriver or something." Pastor: "We've got some pretty sick boys... I... I... didn't even realize mice had balls...!" Secretary: "Yeah, they roll around on 'em all the time!" Pastor: "What???" (still thinking of the little fury real animals) "Well...what can we do?" Secretary: "I guess we'll have to put 'em back on..." Pastor: "WHAT?!?" Secretary: "Hmmm....Pastor, are we talking about the same thing?!" ______________________________________________________ On vacation with her family in Montana, a mother drove her van past a church in a small town and pointing to it, told the children that it was St. Francis' Church. "It must be a franchise," her eight-year-old son said. "We've got one of those in our town too." ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big version ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ \ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Christine Taylor, 44, Naperville, Illinois
Illinois teacher arrested for sex with a minor while his mother was in the house and snooping around. A Naperville middle school teacher was charged with one count of aggravated criminal sexual abuse, police said, after she sexually abused a 16-year-old boy in her home with the boy’s mother in the house. Christine Taylor, 44, of the 1100 block of Spring Garden Circle, had the boy and his mother over for pizza on New Year’s Day, ABC Chicago reported. Taylor then convinced the mom to let the boy come with her to walk the dog. Instead, she took the boy to her bedroom and sexually abused him, according to the report. Taylor was caught abusing the boy by his mom. Another resident in Taylor’s home called the police. Her bail was set at $300,000 on Sunday. Taylor taught at Jefferson Middle School. The boy was not a student at the school, reports the Chicago Sun-Times.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jane Re: How to set default text size in WORD Dear Webby, I keep a lot of my files as plain text in Word 2010. A few days ago, they started opening in size 10.5 whereas they used to be about 8 or 9. I have no idea what I might have done to change the size. Also, I have not located a way to change the opening size. Is there a place to change the default? Clyde Dear Clyde To change the style of the default font in Word 2010, follow these steps: If you do not have a document open, create a new document that is based on the Normal template. To do this, click File, click New, click Blank Document, and then click Create. In the Font group, click the Font flyout. Select the options that you want to apply to the default font, such as font style and font size. If you selected specific text, the properties of the selected text are set in the dialog box. Click Set As Default. Select the All documents based on the Normal.dotm template? option, and then click OK. Personally I use NoteTab from http://Notetab.com and have used it for many years. NoteTab is an excellent text editor, and allows you to have dozens of tabs with different documents open, and has all kinds of handy tools, including HTML. I use it for all newsletters and most HTML work too, not just plain text. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ She looked like such a sweet little old lady, driving the cute Toyota with a bumper sticker that said: "Get your own dope." How sweet, I thought, must be a medical marijuana patient. Then I noticed the rest of her message: "Buy a politician." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Shaped Sugar Cubes My kids love having tea parties. We dress up and make it special. Well, I discovered a while back that you can make shaped sugar cubes. How fancy is that? With a little trial and error, I figured out the right measurements to make it work. The tea parties have been taken to another level! These also make a nice gift. You could package some up and include with a mug and tea bags for a sick friend. It's something simple, but would mean so much. Approximate Time: 10 minutes or so. About 2-3 days to dry. Yield: These measurements made 16 flower-shaped cubes. Supplies: 1 cup sugar - I used white but I've seen others use brown sugar or tubinado. I've not tried it with those, though. The measurements may be different.) 1 Tbsp water ice cube mold or candy mold, the less intricate, the better. If there are too many features, the sugar may break easier. bowl and spoon to mix it Steps: Pour 1 cup of sugar into a bowl. Pour the water, trying to wet as much sugar as possible. Don't add too much water, or these will take forever to dry. Mix. It may take a little coaxing at first, but keep stirring. The sugar needs to be the consistency of moist sand. Spoon some mixture into each mold. Press firmly. You really want to apply some pressure or the cubes won't hold together. Use the back of your spoon to push a little more and to level it off. Let your cubes dry in a dry spot. After 2 days, check on it. Try to get the cube out by gently pressing on the back of the mold. If it breaks apart, they aren't ready! Wait til tomorrow. Then, try gently pressing it out again. There will be a couple that break off, but most of your cubes should be intact. Flip the cubes onto a plate or some other flat surface so they can dry a little more, for a day or so. By Becky Miles [97] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ According to the Knight-Ridder News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the U.S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed. The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey, abbreviated Wash. Biol. Surv. until the agency received the following letter from an Arkansas camper: "Dear Sirs: While camping last week I shot one of your birds. I think it was a crow. I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag and I want to tell you it was horrible." The bands are now marked Fish and Wildlife Service. ___________________________________________________
dog plays pool
____________________________________________________ >From Darsheena in Iowa Why do our kids have to take the Iowa Test for Basic Skills? Why can't we have a Georgia Test of Basic Skills with questions like, "Bubba's got three cars and he done traded for two more. How many cement blocks is Bubba gonna need?" ____________________________________________________ Thanks to Roland for this one: I went to the store the other day, I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, 'Come on buddy, how about giving a guy a break?' He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil necked nazi. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires!! So I called him a horse@#$%. He finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!! This went on for about 20 minutes, the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I really didn't give a hoot. That car now belongs to my ex wife. I had walked to the store. ____________________________________________________
22 Incredibly rare things from this fascinating world.

Today, January 6, in
0871 England's King Alfred defeated the Danes at the 
 Battle of Ashdown.
1205 Philip of Swabia was crowned as King of the Romans. 
1453 Frederick III erected Austria into an Archduchy. 
1540 King Henry VIII of England was married to Anne of Cleves, 
 his fourth wife. 
1720 The Committee of Inquiry on the South Sea Bubble 
 published its findings. 
1838 Samuel Morse publicly demonstrated the telegraph. 
1896 The first American women’s six-day bicycle race was 
 held at Madison Square Garden in New York City. 
1900 In India, it was reported that millions of people 
 were dying from starvation. 
1900 Off of South Africa, the British seized the German 
 steamer Herzog. The boat was released on January 22
1930 The first diesel-engine automobile trip was completed 
 after a run of 792 miles from Indianapolis, IN, to 
 New York City, NY. 
1942 The first commercial around-the-world airline flight 
 took place. Pan American Airlines was the company.
1945 The Battle of the Bulge ended with 130,000 German 
 and 77,000 Allied casualties. 
1950 Britain recognized the Communist government of China. 
1952 "Peanuts" debuted in Sunday papers across the US. 
1967 U.S. and South Vietnamese forces launched a major 
 offensive, known as Operation "Deckhouse V", in the 
 Mekong River delta. 
1982 William G. Bonin was convicted in Los Angeles, CA, 
 of being the "freeway killer" who had murdered 14 
 young men and boys. 
1987 After a 29-year lapse, the Ford Thunderbird was 
 presented with the Motor Trend Car of the Year Award. 
 It was the first occurrence of a repeat winner of 
 the award. 
1994 Figure skater Nancy Kerrigan was clubbed on the right 
 leg by an assailant at Cobo Arena in Detroit, MI. Four 
 men were later sentenced to prison for the attack, 
 including Tonya Harding's ex-husband. 
1998 The spacecraft Lunar Prospect was launched into orbit 
 around the moon. The craft was crashed into the moon, 
 in an effort to find water under the lunar surface, 
 on July 31, 1999. 
2004In the United Arab Emirates, construction began on 
 the Burj Khalifa skyscraper. Upon completion it was the 
 world's largest building. 
2015  smiled.


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TV close to computer 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, January 5

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a KY man arrested after police say they discovered him with drunk, 17-year-old 'prostitute' after a DUI accident. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, January 5, in 1781 Richmond, VA, was burned by a British naval expedition led by Benedict Arnold. History ______________________________________________________ As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it. --- Dick Cavett (1936 - ) All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them. --- Galileo Galilei (1564 - 1642) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Noella An old fishing joke. If you go fishing with a Baptist, and you want your Baptist friend NOT to drink all your beer ... simply bring another Baptist along. ______________________________________________________ A Sunday school teacher was instructing her class. Just before she dismissed them to go to church she asked them, "Why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" Little Johnny was quick to blurt out what he was certain was the correct answer, "Because people are sleeping!" ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big version ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ \ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by John Gutterman, 54, Louisville, Kentucky
Man arrested after police say they discovered him with drunk, 17-year-old 'prostitute' LOUISVILLE, KY (WAVE) – A 54-year-old man was arrested after police discovered him with a drunk 17-year-old, who he claimed was a prostitute. Police said John Gutterman, 54, was involved in a non-injury accident on January 2 at I-65 south and Warnock Street. He apparently tried to flee the scene. When officers arrived, both Gutterman and his passenger appeared to be under the influence of alcohol, smelled strongly of alcohol and were unsteady on their feet. They also had urinated on themselves, said police. An arrest report states the passenger was a 17-year-old girl. Gutterman told police she was a prostitute and they had just left the Day's Inn after partying. Gutterman is being charged with leaving the scene of an accident, unlawful transaction with a minor, DUI and wanton endangerment.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jane Re: TV and Computer nearby Dear Webby, We live in a small condo which does not include an extra room for the computer. It have the computer on my desk with the back of it about a fingers width from the television. Is it safe to run the computer and TV at the same time or should I turn one off before turning the other on? Thanks. Jane Dear Jane With modern TVs there is absolutely no problem. With some of them you can even use them as a computer monitor. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ After a day of grueling maneuvers under the blazing Texas sun, the platoon stood in front of the barracks. "All right, ladies, think about this," bellowed the drill instructor. "If you could have ten minutes alone, right now, with anyone in the world, who would it be?" Amid much mumbling, one voice was heard from the back row. "My recruiter." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Easy Microwave Fudge Ingredients: 3 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips 1 14 oz. can sweetened condensed milk dash of salt 1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract 1 cup chopped walnuts, optional Steps: Put chocolate chips and condensed milk into a microwave safe bowl. Add salt and stir well. Microwave on HIGH for 1 minute 30 seconds. Stir well and microwave on HIGH for another 1 minute 30 seconds. Easy Microwave FudgeEasy Microwave FudgeEasy Microwave Fudge Add walnuts and stir well. Easy Microwave FudgeEasy Microwave Fudge Line an 8 x 8 inch glass pan with foil. Scoop fudge into the pan. Easy Microwave FudgeEasy Microwave FudgeEasy Microwave Fudge Use a spatula to spread fudge out evenly, gently packing it down into the corners of the pan. Refrigerate for 2 hours. Lift the fudge out of the pan and carefully pull away the foil. Allow fudge to warm up a little bit, then cut into 1 inch squares. Enjoy! By lalala... [729] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Gary was playing soccer with his local team. He got a breakaway and headed towards the goal. He missed an easy shot to tie the game, which meant the other team won. "I could kick myself," he groaned, as the players came off the field. "Don't bother," said the captain, "you'd miss." ___________________________________________________
Jumping Jive
____________________________________________________ Catching her in the act, I jokingly confronted a visitor's 3-year-old daughter, "Are you eating your little sister's grapes?" "No," she innocently replied, "I'm teaching her to share!" ____________________________________________________ A psychologist is someone who watches everyone else when a beautiful woman enters the room. ____________________________________________________
Top 20 photos of 2015 from National Geographic.

Today, January 5, in
1781 Richmond, VA, was burned by a British naval expedition 
 led by Benedict Arnold. 
1885 The Long Island Railroad Company became the first to 
 offer piggy-back rail service which was the transportation 
 of farm wagons on trains. 
1896 It was reported by The Austrian newspaper that Wilhelm 
 Roentgen had discovered the type of radiation that became 
 known as X-rays. 
1900 In Ireland, Nationalist leader John Edward Redmond called 
 for a revolt against British rule. 
1903 The general public could use the Pacific cable for the 
 very first time. 
1914 Ford Motor Company announced that there would be a new 
 daily minimum wage of $5 and an eight-hour workday. 
1933 In California, construction of the Golden Gate Bridge 
 began. 
1940 The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) got its 
 very first demonstration of FM radio. 
1948 Warner Brothers-Pathe showed the very first color 
 newsreel. The footage was of the Tournament of Roses 
 Parade and the Rose Bowl football classic. 
1956 In the Peanuts comic strip, Snoopy walked on two 
 legs for the first time. 
1972 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon ordered the 
 development of the space shuttle. 
1993 The state of Washington executed Westley Allan Dodd. 
 It was America's first legal hanging since 1965. Dodd 
 was an admitted child sex killer. 
1996 Yahya Ayyash, a member of the Hamas in Israel, 
 is killed by a booby-trapped cellular phone. 
1998 U.S. Representative Sonny Bono died in skiing 
 accident. 
2002 A 15 year-old student pilot, Charles Bishop, 
 crashed a small plane into a building in Tampa, FL. 
 Bishop was about to begin a flying lesson when he 
 took off without permission and without an 
 instructor. 
2015  smiled.


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Vacuuming around computers 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, January 4

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a British roofer who choked his girlfriend, when she offered to buy him breakfast at McDonalds. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, January 4, in 1885 Dr. William Grant performed the first successful appendectomy. The patient was Mary Gartside. History ______________________________________________________ He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) Ring the bells that still can ring Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything, That's how the light gets in. --- Leonard Cohen ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ You have all seen pictures of the Little Mermaid at the entrance of the Copenhagen harbor. Now FaceBook has decided the 1913 statue is too naked for FaceBook. Well, she is NOT too naked for the Dear Webby Humor letter: ______________________________________________________ Bob's grandfather came to America to gain freedom, but it didn't work. Bob's grandmother came over on the very next boat. ______________________________________________________ Jolene had wanted new kitchen cabinets for a long time, but her husband insisted they were an extravagance. She went to visit her mother for two weeks, and when she returned, she was overjoyed to find that beautiful new cabinets had been installed in her kitchen. A few days later, a neighbor came over to visit and mentioned, "We were sure glad that the fire your husband had while you were gone was confined to the kitchen, and that he was able to clean up the mess before you got back!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dad for this picture from his kitchen window. Click through for the big version ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ \ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Lee Barton, 28, Carlisle,
Roofer who choked his girlfriend and threatened to kill her after she offered to buy him a McDonald's breakfast while he was on a diet is jailed for 26 months A roofer who throttled his girlfriend while screaming 'I'm going to kill you' after she offered to buy him a McDonald's breakfast while he was on a diet has been jailed for two years. Lee Barton, 28, flew into a rage and throttled Ashley Irvine after she suggested getting him a McMuffin while he was trying to lose weight. Barton shoved her onto a bed and choked her until she struggled to breathe. 'She could see the relationship between them was coming to an end. She went upstairs to take her wages from a locked box so she would have money for her and her children once the accused left. 'The accused followed her upstairs and confronted her in the bedroom. She had the money in her hand and he grabbed it from her and threatened to burn it in front of her. 'He attempted to light it with his lighter. He sparked the lighter but it failed to ignite the bundle of money. He raised his fist as if to punch her and she screamed. 'He pinned her down on the bed by the throat. He had his hands round her throat and continued to choke her. He compressed her throat and stated "I'm going to kill you".' She escaped by telling Barton she was texting a friend to meet for coffee but instead she told the friend what happened and got them to call 999. Barton was arrested and initially denied throttling his lover, but admitted squeezing her face and told officers he 'would have killed her.' The court heard that he had attacked her in a similar manner last autumn when she tried to usher him out of the house. 'He grabbed her by the throat and choked her until she felt she could not breath,' the fiscal depute told the court. Barton, from Carlisle, admitted attacking Ashley Irvine at Dunnock Park in Perth between September and November last year by compressing her throat. He admitted assaulting her again on 21 February by grabbing her throat, shoving her onto a bed and throttling her while making threats of violence. He admitted seizing bank notes from her hand and threatening to burn them. Mr Letford said: 'Miss Irvine described the relationship as awful and she is extremely fearful and frightened of the accused. She said she was walking on eggshells around the accused because of fears about how he would react.' Barton had a further year's supervised release imposed and was made subject to a three year non-harassment order in a bid to keep him away from his victim.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Sue Re: Is it safe to vacuum around computers? Dear Webby, Is it safe to vacuum around computers or will the static cause problems? Sue Dear Sue Yes, it is perfectly safe to vacuum around computers. They are grounded electrically and nowadays all inputs are shielded. Do NOT unplug them before vacuuming around or inside them. You should, however, turn them off before you begin vacuuming. The reason for that is that you might accidentally unplug some cables and that could cause the machine to crash. Depending on the environment they are in, desktop computers should be vacuumed out once per year, under-the-desk floor models should be opened and vacuumed out twice a year. 99% of computer cases are designed by fashion conscious morons who think it is a good idea to suck the dustballs and cathairs and whatever in through your computer's drives, let the dustballs get snagged on the heatsinks inside the case, and then blow the clean air out through the cheapest part of all, the power supply. DUH! So just open the computer and vacuum it out before the fuzzy dust blanket inside causes expensive parts to overheat and malfunction. All you have to remember is: Turn the computer OFF, but do NOT UNPLUG IT. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Nancy knelt in the confessional and said, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned." "What is it, child?" "Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day I gaze at myself in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I am." The priest turned, took a good look at her, and said, "Nancy, I have good news. That isn't a sin - it's only a mistake. You probably need new glasses." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Easy Microwave Fudge Ingredients: 3 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips 1 14 oz. can sweetened condensed milk dash of salt 1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract 1 cup chopped walnuts, optional Steps: Put chocolate chips and condensed milk into a microwave safe bowl. Add salt and stir well. Microwave on HIGH for 1 minute 30 seconds. Stir well and microwave on HIGH for another 1 minute 30 seconds. Easy Microwave FudgeEasy Microwave FudgeEasy Microwave Fudge Add walnuts and stir well. Easy Microwave FudgeEasy Microwave Fudge Line an 8 x 8 inch glass pan with foil. Scoop fudge into the pan. Easy Microwave FudgeEasy Microwave FudgeEasy Microwave Fudge Use a spatula to spread fudge out evenly, gently packing it down into the corners of the pan. Refrigerate for 2 hours. Lift the fudge out of the pan and carefully pull away the foil. Allow fudge to warm up a little bit, then cut into 1 inch squares. Enjoy! By lalala... [729] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A drummer got bored with his instrument and decided to take up the accordion instead. Walking into a music shop, he spotted one he liked and asked the shopkeeper, "how much is that accordion by the wall?" The shopkeeper looked at him and said, "You're a drummer, aren't you?" "Yes, how did you know?" he said. "That's the radiator, and it is not for sale." ___________________________________________________
How to Get to Mars. Very Cool !
____________________________________________________ A passenger train is creeping along slowly through the plains of Alabama. Finally, it creaks to a complete halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. "What's going on?" she yells out the window. "Cow on the track!" replies the conductor. Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees the same conductor walking by again. She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?" ____________________________________________________ Over dinner, a woman said to her husband, "I met this horrible and rude man downtown this morning, and right away I knew he was a troublemaker. He started to insult me; he used really bad language; he even threatened me!" "How did you meet this fellow?" He asked, very concerned. She said, "Well, we met by accident, I hit his wheelchair with the car." ____________________________________________________
"Don't trust a man with the luggage." I love this lady's sense of humor.

Today, January 4, in
1884 The socialist Fabian Society was founded in London. 
1885 Dr. William Grant performed the first successful 
 appendectomy. The patient was Mary Gartside. 
1936 The first pop music chart based on national sales was 
 published by "Billboard" magazine. 
1944 The attack on Monte Cassino was launched by the British 
 Fifth Army in Italy. 
1948 Britain granted independence to Burma. 
1951 During the Korean conflict, North Korean and Communist 
 Chinese forces captured the city of Seoul. 
1953 Tufted plastic carpeting was introduced by Barwick Mills. 
1958 The Soviet satellite Sputknik I fell to the earth from 
 its orbit. The craft had been launched on October 4, 1957. 
1962 New York City introduced a train that operated without 
 conductors and motormen. 
1965 The Fender Guitar Company was sold to CBS for $13 million. 
1984 Wayne ‘The Great One’ Gretzky scored eight points (four goals 
 and four assists) for the second time in his National Hockey League 
 (NHL) career. Edmonton’s Oilers defeated the Minnesota North Stars, 
 12-8. The game was the highest-scoring NHL game to date. 
1997 The Greek Cypriot government signed an agreement to buy 
 S-300 surface-to-air missiles from Russia. 
1999 A drifting Nicaraguan fishing boat was found by the Norwegian 
 oil tanker Joelm. The fisherman had been lost at sea for 35 days 
 after the engine of their vessel quit working. 
1999 Former professional wrestler Jesse Ventura was sworn in as 
 Minnesota's 37th governor. 
2006 Nancy Pelosi became Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives. 
 She was the first woman to hold the position. 
2010 In Dubai, United Arab Emirates, the Burj Dubai (Dubai Tower) 
 opened as the world's tallest tower at 2,625 feet. 
2015  smiled.


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How to remove previous choices in forms 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, January 3

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Masked, costumed, tattooed man who was arrested for disturbance at Oklahoma Kum & Go Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, January 3, in 1833 Britain seized control of the Falkland Islands in the South Atlantic. About 150 years later, Argentina seized the islands from the British, but Britain took them back after a 74-day war, after their submarines sank Argentina's only destroyer. History ______________________________________________________ The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against wacking them around a little. --- Joe Martin --------- The technical term for that is "Percussive maintenance". ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Dear Rev When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. How should I deal with this? Bubba Dear Bubba Change the setting on your barbecue from "Well Done" to "Medium" or "Rare". Not only is the odor more pleasing, but the steaks taste a lot better. ______________________________________________________ After a long, bumpy flight, the passengers were glad to finally land. They disembarked, and the attendants checked for items left behind. In a seat pocket, one found a bag of homemade cookies with a note saying "Much love, Mom." Quickly, she brought the bag to the gate agent in hopes it would be reunited with its owner. In few minutes, this announcement came over the public-address system in the concourse: "Would the passenger who lost his cookies on Flight 502, please return to the gate?" ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big version Levitant ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Michael Carter, 26, Broken Arrow, Oklahoma
Masked, costumed, tattooed man who was arrested for disturbance at Oklahoma Kum & Go A masked, costumed man was arrested yesterday after causing a disturbance at a Kum & Go convenience store in Oklahoma, police report. Michael Carter, 26, was collared Wednesday morning by Broken Arrow cops for obstructing or interfering with police, a misdemeanor. According to police, Kum & Go employees asked Carter to leave the business, but he refused. Instead, Carter locked himself in a store bathroom. In addition to the mask, Carter wore a red bandana that was accessorized with forks, a makeshift red cape, and red sweatpants. A toy gun was tucked into Carter’s waistband. Before entering the Kum & Go, Carter was seen at a nearby Whataburger restaurant, where a diner took the photos of him. Carter, seen above, is locked up in lieu of $500 bond. His mask partly covered a fully tattooed face that includes a swastika on his forehead and “Jesus Christ” on his right cheek.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Dotty Re: remove previous choices in forms Dear Webby, Dear Webby When I fill forms Windoze is always trying to be helpful and offering previously used words or phrases. For example when filling a form in my blog with the date, it "suggests" all the previously used dates. Well, December is gone, so is November and October. How do I clean out those previously used choices? I am using Chrome. Dotty Dear Dotty There is no easy one click deal for that. As soon as you enter a letter and it shows previously used choices, hold down SHIFT and hit DELETE. Keep your finger on SHIFT and keep hitting DELETE. After you have clened the 5 first choices, type a letter to bring up another 5, and repeat the silly process. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Customer: I just registered my domain name with you guys. Someone in our office told me it was only good in your state. BUZZY: No, ma'am. A domain name is good in all states and in all countries. Customer: So, it is good in all 52 states? BUZZY: Yes, all states and all countries of the earth. Customer: Alabama too ? BUZZY: Do you mean the Alabama on Earth or the other one ? ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Stuffing Mix Meatloaf I asked my husband to pick up stuffing mix for the holidays. He came back with 4 boxes, saying they had a buy 2 get 2 free sale. I didn't have enough people over to use all 4 boxes so we had some mix left over. Ground beef seemed to go on sale, too, seeing as how poultry and ham has been more popular. Here's how to make a fabulous, juicy, seasoned meatloaf using boxed stuffing mix. This recipe can be doubled perfectly to use a whole box. Approximate Time: 1 Hour Yield: 4-6 servings Ingredients: 1 lb ground beef 1/2 pkg stuffing mix 1/2 cup water 1 egg 2 Tbsp ketchup 1/3 cup ketchup 1 Tbsp mustard 1/2 Tbsp Worcestershire sauce 3 Tbsp brown sugar Steps: Preheat oven to 350F. In a bowl, mix meat, stuffing mix, water, egg and 2 Tbsp ketchup. Stuffing Mix MeatloafStuffing Mix Meatloaf Shape into a loaf on a lightly greased baking dish. Stuffing Mix Meatloaf Mix ketchup, mustard, Worcestershire sauce and brown sugar in a little bowl. Brush 2/3's of this mixture on top of the loaf. Stuffing Mix MeatloafStuffing Mix Meatloaf Bake for about 50 minutes until done (registers at 160F). Stuffing Mix Meatloaf Serve with remaining 1/3 of sauce mixture. Stuffing Mix Meatloaf Source: My twist on a Kraft recipe with my own sauce. By attosa [153] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Several women appeared in court, each accusing the others of causing the trouble they were having in the apartment building where they lived. The women were arguing noisily even in the court. The judge, banging his gavel to quiet them said, "We are going to do this in an orderly manner. I can't listen to all of you at once. I'll hear the oldest first." The case was dismissed for lack of testimony. ___________________________________________________
obedient dogs
____________________________________________________ Any CEO caught using corporate funds for his own personal gains should be charged with impersonating a politician. ____________________________________________________ Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because the cart cannot count, criticize or laugh. ____________________________________________________
Beautiful snow scenes from a spray can.

Today, January 3, in
1496 References in Leonardo da Vinci notebooks suggested that 
 he tested his flying machine. The test didn't succeed and he 
 didn't try to fly again for several years. 
1521 Pope Leo X excommunicated Martin Luther. 
1777 The Battle of Princeton took place in the War of Independence, 
 in which George Washington defeated the British forces
1815 By secret treaty, Austria, Britain, and France formed a defensive 
 alliance against Prusso-Russian plans to solve the Saxon and Polish 
 problems. 
1823 Stephen F. Austin received a grant from the Mexican government 
 and began colonization in the region of the Brazos River in Texas. 
1833 Britain seized control of the Falkland Islands in the South 
 Atlantic. About 150 years later, Argentina seized the islands from 
 the British, but Britain took them back after a 74-day war, after 
 their submarines sank Argentina's only destroyer. 
1868 The Shogunate was abolished in Japan and Meiji dynasty was 
 restored. 
1871 Henry W. Bradley patented oleomargarine. 
1888 The drinking straw was patented by Marvin C. Stone. 
1924 English explorer Howard Carter discovered the sarcophagus of 
 Tutankhamen in the Valley of the Kings, near Luxor, Egypt. 
1925 In Italy, Mussolini announced that he would take 
 dictatorial powers. 
1947 In Trenton, NJ, Al Herrin, passed away at age 92. He had 
 claimed that he had not slept at all during his life. 
1957 The Hamilton Watch Company introduced the first electric 
 watch. 
1959 In the U.S., Alaska became the 49th state. 
1961 The U.S. severed diplomatic relations with Cuba. 
1962 Pope John XXIII excommunicated Cuban prime minister 
 Fidel Castro. 
1967 Jack Ruby died in a Dallas, TX, hospital. 
1980 Conservationist Joy Adamson, author of "Born Free," 
 was killed in northern Kenya by a servant. 
1984 A woman died at Disneyland after falling from a ride. 
 She had apparently unfastened her seatbelt while on the 
 Matterhorn bobsled. 
1990 Ousted Panamanian leader Manuel Noriega surrendered 
 to U.S. forces, 10 days after taking refuge in the Vatican's 
 diplomatic mission. 
1993 U.S. President George H.W. Bush and Russian President 
 Boris Yeltsin signed the second Strategic Arms Reduction 
 Treaty (START) in Moscow. 
1998 China announced that it would spend $27.7 billion to 
 fight erosion and pollution in the Yangtze and Yellow 
 river valleys. 
1999 Israeli authorities detained, and later expelled, 
 14 members of Concerned Christians. Israili officials 
 claimed that the Denver, CO-based cult was plotting 
 violence in Jerusalem to bring about the Second Coming 
 of Christ. 
2000 Charles M. Schulz's final original daily comic 
 strip appeared in newspapers. 
2001 The ATF (Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms) 
 charged the "Texas 7" with weapons violations. An autopsy 
 showed that Officer Aubrey Hawkins, killed by the convicts, 
 had been shot 11 times and run over with a vehicle. 
2004 NASA's Spirit rover landed on Mars. The craft was able 
 to send back black and white images three hours after landing.
2015  smiled.


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Skype Alternative 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, January 2

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Jailed Man Charged With Bigamy After 2 Wives Pay Him A Visit Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, January 2, in 1492 The leader of the last Arab stronghold in Spain surrendered to Spanish forces loyal to King Ferdinand II and Queen Isabella I. History ______________________________________________________ Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies. --- Woody Allen (1935 - ) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A little girl was playing quietly while her mom and another lady friend were talking. The little girl let out a big fart. Her mother said "What do you say Suzy?", expecting the reply, "Excuse me." What the little girl said instead was: "Watch out, here comes another one!" ______________________________________________________ Cindy was at an interview with the company psychiatrist as part of a job interview. As she sat in the chair, the psychiatrist asked a series of questions to determine if she was emotionally suitable for the company. Things were not not going well for her. The psychiatrist decided to try a new approach, to give her one last chance. He asked, "if you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?" Cindy quickly responded, "the living one." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Wayne for this picture: Click through for the big version ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Frank E. Blake Jr., , In Jail in Henrico, Virginia
Jailed Man Charged With Bigamy After 2 Wives Pay Him A Visit A Virginia man will be spending more time behind bars after his second and third wives showed up to visit him in jail at the same time. The Richmond Times-Dispatch reports that Frank E. Blake Jr.'s visitors led investigators to discover that Blake hadn't divorced his second wife before he married his third wife. Authorities also say Blakemarried his second wife before his divorce from his first wife was finalized. It's unclear why Blake was initially in jail. Blake pleaded no contest Tuesday to a charge of bigamy, stemming from the overlap between the end of his first marriage and the start of his second. He was sentenced to 1.5 years imprisonment, with 3.5 years suspended. Blake says he didn't realize he was committing a felony.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Dick Re: Skype alternative Dear Webby, Here's a comparison between Skype, Zoom, and Google+ Comparison. One of the excellent features of Zoom is that you can have up to 25 participants even with the free version. And while you can do screen sharing, the comparison says you can't do file sharing, but of course, you can share a picture of a page of your file on your screen. And here is info on exporting Skype contacts: http://www.cnet.com/how-to/how-to-expor ... -contacts/ Happy New Year, Dick Dear Dick That looks excellent! It would be a nightmare to get hundreds of clients to suddenly switch, but it would definitely be a good tool to have in the tool box, and get new clients to sign up with Zoom. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again." The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Easy No Cook Chocolate Fudge Here is a quick and easy way to make a pan of chocolate fudge. No cooking required. Approximate Time: 15 minutes Yield: 8 inch square pan Ingredients: 1 can (16 oz) chocolate fudge cake frosting 2 cups chocolate chips 1 tsp vanilla 1 pinch salt 1/2 cup chopped nuts (optional) Steps: Butter an 8 inch square pan or line with parchment paper. Put chocolate chips in a microwavable bowl. Partially melt in your microwave. This should take from 30 seconds to 1 minute. Stir in can of frosting and continue melting in the microwave until the mixture is smooth. I do it in 20 second increments. Stirring after each 20 seconds. Remove from microwave and stir in vanilla, salt, and nuts if you are using them. Pour immediately into the prepared pan and let set. If you are in a hurry you can put the pan in the refrigerator. After they have set, cut into pieces and enjoy. Source: My sister-she can't remember where she found it. By Diana W. [14] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ "Mom, you'd better come outside! I've just knocked over the ladder at the side of the house." "I'm busy. Go and tell your father." "He already knows. He's hanging from the roof." ___________________________________________________
Holy Hologram! 7D
____________________________________________________ Trina and Trisha, obviously nervous about their flight, bought some flight insurance at the terminal. They couldn't decide who to name as beneficiaries, however. Finally they ended up each naming the other and happily boarded the same plane. ____________________________________________________ In bygone days, a thin man insulted a fat man. The fat man challenged his tormentor to a duel with pistols. On the day of the duel a debate ensued about the unfair advantage held by the thin man because he was a much smaller target. Finally the thin man came up with a solution. "Let the outline of my figure be chalked upon your body," he said to his opponent, "and any shots of mine that hit outside the chalk lines, we won't count." ____________________________________________________
HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Today, January 2, in
1492 The leader of the last Arab stronghold in Spain surrendered 
 to Spanish forces loyal to King Ferdinand II and Queen Isabella I. 
1842 In Fairmount, PA, the first wire suspension bridge was 
 opened to traffic. 
1859 Erastus Beadle published "The Dime Book of Practical Etiquette." 
1872 Brigham Young, the 71-year-old leader of the Mormon Church, 
 was arrested on a charge of bigamy. He had 25 wives. 
1879 Thomas Edison began construction on his first generator. 
1882 The Standard Oil Trust agreement was completed and dated. 
 The document transferred the stock and property of more than 
 40 companies into the control of nine trustees lead by 
 John D. Rockefeller. This was the first example of what became 
 known as a holding company. 
1900 U.S. Secretary of State John Hay announced the Open Door 
 Policy to prompt trade with China. 
1900 The Chicago Canal opened. 
1917 Royal Bank of Canada took over the Quebec Bank. 
1929 The United States and Canada reached an agreement on joint 
 action to preserve Niagara Falls. 
1935 Bruno Richard Hauptmann went on trial for the kidnap-murder 
 of Charles Lindberghs baby. Hauptmann was found guilty and 
 executed. 
1942 The Philippine capital of Manila was captured by Japanese 
 forces during World War II. 
1953 "The Life of Riley" debuted on NBC-TV. 
1955 Panamanian President Jose Antonio Remon was assassinated. 
1957 The San Francisco and Los Angeles stock exchanges merged. 
1968 Fidel Castro announced petroleum and sugar rationing in Cuba. 
1974 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon signed a bill requiring all 
 states to lower the maximum speed limit to 55 MPH. The law was 
 intended to conserve gasoline supplies during an embargo imposed 
 by Arab oil-producing countries. Federal speed limits were 
 abolished in 1995. 
1996 AT&T announced that it would eliminate 40,000 jobs over 
 three years. 
1998 Russia began circulating new rubles in effort to keep 
 inflation in check and promote confidence. 
2004 NASA's Stardust space probe collected samples from the 
 comet Wild 2. The samples returned to Earth on January 15, 2006. 
2008 The price of oil hit $100 per barrell for the first time. 
2015  smiled.


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How to stop Skype updater attacks 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, January 1
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!




Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida woman arrested for carrying pot and a cigar in her vagina, plus outstanding warrants. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, January 1, in 0404 The last gladiator competition was held in Rome. History ______________________________________________________ Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything. --- Kurt Vonnegut (1922 - 2007) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ On the morning after the consummation of the marriage of two senior citizens. The new bride awoke purring. Hearing her new husband running water in the bathroom, she said, "Did you just brush your teeth?" The husband answered, "Yes, dear. And while I was at it, I brushed yours too." ______________________________________________________ Angus McGillicuddy was looking for a gift for a friend of his. Everything he saw in the store was too expensive. Then he came across a glass vase that had been broken, which could be purchased for next to nothing. The tightwad asked the store clerk to send the gift, hoping his friend would think that the vase had been broken during transit. A couple of weeks later, the tightwad received an acknowledgment for the gift. "Thanks for the vase," read the card. "It was so thoughtful of you to wrap each piece separately." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by Walter, the Stonecarver.com An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Carneeka Sanders, 20, St. Petersburg, Florida
Florida woman arrested for carrying pot and a cigar in her vagina, plus outstanding warrants. Sanders was arrested last night on an outstanding warrant after a car she was traveling in was stopped by St. Petersburg police. After being patted down by a cop, Sanders "stated she had marijuana and a cigar in her vagina," according to a criminal complaint. Sanders then “provided the marijuana and cigar” to an officer. Seen above, Sanders was arrested for pot possession and the outstanding warrant (which was related to her alleged failure to return a rental car). Sanders, who was arrested twice last year for pot possession, was released from custody early this morning after posting $5000 bond. Police records list Sanders’s employer as the Steak 'n Shake restaurant chain. The complaint does not detail the weight of the marijuana seized, the size of the stashed cigar, or whether the stogie was stuffed with pot.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Karen Re: Attack by Skype 7 Dear Webby, I don't like Skype 7. Period. It is a piece of crap, and the way it wastes screen space is ridiculous. Yes, I know, I can UNinstall the bloody nuisance and then install 6.20 again, but I hate the way it assumes I want 7.something every time Windows bungs up and I am frantically trying to save and close programs. Just then, when I really don't want anything else starting up, it does an unauthorized "update". Is there a way to stop those sneaky update attacks? Thanks Karen Dear Karen That is a very common problem, since Skype 7 is about as popular as Windows 8. Click on START, then type services.msc when it finds it, click on it. Eventually Services will start, just be patient. After it shows a list of services, look for Skype Updater. Click on it, and select Properties in there change Automatic to Disabled. That will stop the nuisance attacks. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him, and then told him, "Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your trouble to bed with you." "I know" said the man, "but I can't. Until snow plowing season starts and more money comes in, I can't afford a divorce!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cheese Tart Recipe Ingredients 1 package cream cheese, softened 1 can sweetened condensed milk 1/3 cup lemon juice from concentrate 1 tsp. vanilla 2 packages. graham cracker crusts Assorted fruit (such as strawberries, blueberries, bananas, raspberries, orange segments, cherries, kiwi fruit, grapes, pineapple, etc.) 1/4 cup apple jelly, melted (opt.) Directions With mixer, beat cheese until fluffy. gradually beat in sweetened condensed milk until smooth. Stir in lemon juice and vanilla. Spoon into crusts. Chill 2 hours or until set. Just before serving, top with fruit; brush with jelly, if desired. Refrigerate leftovers. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Did you know that dolphins are so intelligent that within only a few weeks of captivity, they can train humans to stand at the very edge of the pool and throw them fish? ___________________________________________________
cool guitar invention
____________________________________________________ GRANDMA SHOES When I was very little, All the Grandmas that I knew All walked around this world, In ugly grandma shoes. You know the ones I speak of, Those black clunky heeled kind, They just looked so very awful That it weighed upon my mind, For I knew, when I grew old, I'd have to wear those shoes, I'd think of that, from time to time It seemed like such bad news. I never was a rebel, I wore saddle shoes to school. And next came ballerinas Then the sandals, pretty cool. And then came spikes with pointed toes, Then platforms, very tall, As each new fashion came I wore them, one and all. But always, in the distance, Looming in my future, there, Was that awful pair of ugly shoes, The kind that Grandmas wear. I eventually got married And then I became a Mom. Our kids grew up and left, And then their children came along. I knew I was a Grandma And the time was drawing near, When those clunky, black, old lace up shoes Was what I'd have to wear. How would I do my gardening? Or take my morning hike? I couldn't even think about How I would ride my bike! But fashions kept evolving, And one day I realized That the shape of things to come Was changing, right before my eyes. And now, when I go shopping What I see, fills me with glee. For, in my jeans and Reeboks I'm as comfy as can be. And I look at all these teenage girls And there, upon their feet Are clunky, black, old Grandma shoes, And they really think they're neat. ____________________________________________________ Four older ladies are sitting around playing bridge. The first lady says, "You know girls, I have known you all a long time and there is something I must get off my chest. I am a Kleptomaniac. But, don't worry, I have never stolen from you and I never will; we have been friends for too long." The second lady says, "Well, since we are having true confessions here, I must get something off my chest too. I am a Nymphomaniac. But don't worry, I have not hit on your husbands. They don't interest me and never will; we have been friends for too long." "Well," says the third lady, "I, too, must confess something. I am a Lesbian. But do not worry, I will not hit on you. You are not my type. We have been friends too long for me to ruin our friendship." The fourth lady stands up, says, "I have a confession to make also. I am an uncontrollable gossip, but now I have to run. Got some urgent phone calls to make!" ____________________________________________________
Some funny 2015 photobombs.

Today, January 1, in
0404 The last gladiator competition was held in Rome. 
1622 The Papal Chancery adopted January 1st as the beginning 
 of the New Year (instead of March 25th). 
1772 The first traveler's checks were issued in London. 
1797 Albany became the capital of New York state, replacing 
 New York City. 
1801 The Act of Union of England and Ireland came into force. 
1801 Italian astronomer Giuseppe Piazzi became the first person 
 to discover an asteroid. He named it Ceres. 
1804 Haiti gained its independence. 
1808 The U.S. prohibited import of slaves from Africa. 
1863 U.S. President Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation, 
 which declared that all slaves in the rebel states were free. 
1887 Queen Victoria was proclaimed empress of India in Delhi. 
1892 Ellis Island Immigrant Station formally opened in New York. 
1892 Brooklyn and New York merged to form the single city of New York. 
1894 The Manchester Ship Canal was officially opened to traffic. 
1895 In Battle Creek, MI, C.W. Post created his first usable batch 
 of Monks Brew (later called Postum). It was a cereal-based substitute 
 for caffeinated drinks. 
1898 Manhattan, the Bronx, Brooklyn, Queens and Staten Island were 
 consolidated into New York City. 
1900 Hawaii asked for a delegate to the Republican national convention. 
1900 Nigeria became a British protectorate with Frederick Lagard 
 as the high commissioner. 
1901 The Commonwealth of Australia was founded. Lord Hopetoun 
 officially assumed the duties as the first Governor-General. 
1902 The first Tournament of Roses (later the Rose Bowl) collegiate 
 football game was played in Pasadena, CA. 
1909 The first payments of old-age pensions were made in Britain. 
 People over 70 received five shillings a week. 
1913 The post office began parcel post deliveries. 
1924 Frank B. Cooney received a patent for ink paste. 
1926 The Rose Bowl was carried coast to coast on network radio for 
 the first time. 
1934 Alcatraz Island officially became a Federal Prison. 
1937 The First Cotton Bowl football game was played in Dallas, 
1939 The Hewlett-Packard partnership was formed by Bill 
 Hewlett and Dave Packard. 
1942 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt and British Prime 
 Minister Winston Churchill issued a declaration called the 
 "United Nations." It was signed by 26 countries that vowed 
 to create an international postwar World War II peacekeeping 
 organization. 
1945 France was admitted to the United Nations. 
1956 Sudan gained its independence. 
1958 The European Economic Community (EEC) started operations. 
1959 Fidel Castro overthrew the government of Fulgencio Batista, 
 and seized power in Cuba. 
1968 Evel Knievel, stunt performing daredevil, lost control 
 of his motorcycle midway through a jump of 141 feet over 
 the ornamental fountains in front of Caesar’s Palace in 
 Las Vegas. 
1971 Tobacco ads representing $20 million dollars in advertising 
 were banned from TV and radio broadcast. 
1973 Britain, Ireland, Denmark and Norway joined the EEC. 
1975 The magazine "Popular Electronics" announced the invention 
 of a person computer called Altair. MITS, using an Intel 
 microprocessor, developed the computer. 
1979 The United States and China held celebrations in Washington, 
 DC, and Beijing to mark the establishment of diplomatic 
 relations between the two countries. 
1981 Greece joined the European Community. 
1984 AT&T was broken up into 22 Bell System companies under 
 terms of an antitrust agreement with the U.S. Federal government. 
1986 Spain and Portugal joined the European Community (EC). 
1987 A pro-democracy rally took place in Beijing's Tiananmen 
 Square (China). 
1992 In Kuala, Lumpur, the groundbreaking ceremony for the 
 Petronas Towers took place. 
1993 Czechoslovakia split into two separate states, the Czech 
 Republic and Slovakia. The peaceful division had been engineered 
 in 1992. 
1994 Bill Gates, Chief Executive Officer of Microsoft and Melinda 
 French were married. 
1994 The North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA) went into effect. 
1995 The World Trade Organization came into existence. The group of 
 125 nations monitors global trade. 
1998 A new anti-smoking law went into effect in California. The law 
 prohibiting people from lighting up in bars. 
1999 The euro became currency for 11 Member States of the European 
 Union. Coins and notes were not available until January 1, 2002. 
1999 In California, a law went into effect that defined "invasion 
 of privacy as trespassing with the intent to capture audio or video 
 images of a celebrity or crime victim engaging in a personal or 
 family activity." 
2001 The "Texas 7," rented space in an RV park in Woodland Park, CO. 
2007 Binney & Smith Company became Crayola LLC under its parent 
 company Hallmark. 
2015  smiled.


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How do I set up a screen saver? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, December 31

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a NJ man arrested after he pretended to be a cop and pulled over a real cop. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 31, in 1687 The first Huguenots set sail from France for the Cape of Good Hope, where they would later create the South African wine industry with the vines they took with them on the voyage. History ______________________________________________________ I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. --- Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977) The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Two men were playing golf together for the very first time. The first player teed off and hit the ball into a clump of trees. He finally got onto the fairway, only to hit the ball into a water hazard. The next shot resulted in a new ball flying over a fence onto a busy street. The second player said, "Maybe you should use an old ball for this shot." The first player replied, "I don't have any old balls." ______________________________________________________ An FBI agent was talking to a bank teller after the bank had been robbed for the third time by the same bandit. "Did you notice anything special about the man?" he asked. "Yes, he seems to be better dressed each time," the teller replied. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Svend for this picture: ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by Walter, the Stonecarver.com An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Richard Goldrick, 68, Nutley, New Jersey
NJ man arrested after he pretended to be a cop and pulled over a real cop. A Nutley man, posing as a cop, was arrested by state authorities after he allegedly attempted to stop an off-duty Woodbridge Police Department sergeant. Richard Goldrick, 68, of Nutley was arrested and charged with attempting to impersonate a police officer. PHOTO COURTESY OF NEW JERSEY STATE POLICE Richard Goldrick, 68, of Nutley was arrested and charged with attempting to impersonate a police officer. Richard Goldrick, 68, was charged with impersonating a police officer, possession of a weapon, and possession of false government documents, according to a press release. According to state police, on Monday, Dec. 21, at 7:15 p.m., Woodbridge police Sgt. Charles Stab was driving in his personal vehicle northbound on the Garden State Parkway at milepost 116 when Goldrick, driving a 2013 black Chevrolet Suburban, pulled behind him, and activated emergency lights. Stab then pulled over, believing the vehicle stopping him was an undercover one. However, once both vehicles were stopped, Goldrick shut off his emergency lights and quickly drove away, police said. Stab noticed that the incident was suspicious and was able obtain a description of the suspect and a license plate number, which he later provided to State Police detectives. As a result, Goldrick was arrested by Troop "D" Criminal Investigation Office detectives. During an interview with Goldrick Tuesday, Dec. 22, at Holmdel Station, police seized a .22 caliber handgun, hollow point ammunition, and fraudulent documents from inside his car. He was arrested, charged and then lodged at Monmouth County Jail in lieu of $52,000 full cash bail.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Marla Re: How do I install a screensaver Dear Webby, I have read plenty about downloaded screensavers having a hidden "payload" of adware, spyware and malware. I don't want those. How do I install or set up the built in screen savers, that you hinted at? Marla Dear Marla First set up a folder for the pictures, that you want featured in your screen saver, and move or copy those pictures to there. Next carefully double-check those pictures by browsing them with a graphics program to make 100% sure that folder does not contain any pictures, that you don't want shown while your daughter or the minister are visiting. Once you are sure the collection is safe, Open Screen Saver Settings by clicking the Start button clicking Control Panel, clicking Appearance and Personalization, clicking Personalization, and then clicking Screen Saver. Under Screen saver, in the drop-down list, click Photos. (In some versions that is listed as Slide Show) Click Settings to choose the folder you want used by your slide show and select other options. After you make your changes, for example how long a period of inactivity will turn it on, whether you demand a password when coming back, how long each picture is supposed to stay on, etc. click Save. Click OK. That's all there is to it. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decides to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited, she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone. The next day the blonde goes shopping. Her phone rings and it's her husband "Hi hun," he says, "how do you like your new phone?" She replies, "I just love it! It's so small and your voice is clear as a bell but there's one thing I don't understand though." "What's that, baby?" asks the husband. "How did you know I was at Walmart?" "Just an educated guess." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Soothing a Sore Throat This remedy was given to me by an Ear, Nose and Throat doctor. To get immediate relief of a sore throat, eat Fritos Corn chips and eat popsicles. You cannot gargle enough to reach all the way down the throat that is sore. I get a bag of Fritos and some popsicles and keep them in the freezer until needed. It is not scratchy like you think they would be. Also you can dissolve a chicken bullion cube in cup of water in the microwave and drink when it cools. By patricia laubscher [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ >From Pat in Oz The weather was very hot and pastor Fred wanted desperately to take a dive in a nearby lake. Having forgotten to pack a swimming suit, he chose to skinny dip. After some delightful minutes of cool swimming, a pair of middle-aged ladies walked onto the shore in his direction. He panicked, got out of the water and grabbed a bucket lying in the sand nearby. He strategically positioned the bucket and sighed with relief. The ladies got nearby and looked at him. He felt awkward and wanted to move. Then one of the ladies said: "You know, I have a special gift, I can read minds." "Impossible," said the embarrassed pastor. "You can't really know what I think!" She said: "Yes, I do know. Right now I bet you think that the bucket you're holding has a bottom." ___________________________________________________
Instagram husband (for the record, this was shot in Springfield, Missouri, and David was in Skinny Improv with this guy - 4,000,000+ views in one day!)
____________________________________________________ A Congressman was once asked about his attitude toward whiskey. "If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it. "But if you mean the elixir of Christmas cheer, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it." "This is my position, and I will not compromise!" ____________________________________________________ "I understand, Doctor, that many husbands snore," said the young wife, "but you've got to help me stop mine. He's a ventriloquist and snores on both sides of me at the same time!" ____________________________________________________
Annual compilation of the Best of People Are Awesome for 2015.

Today, December 31, in
1687 The first Huguenots set sail from France for the Cape of 
 Good Hope, where they would later create the South African 
 wine industry with the vines they took with them on the 
 voyage. 
1695 The window tax was imposed in Britain, which resulted 
 in many windows being bricked up. 
1775 The British repulsed an attack by Continental Army generals 
 Richard Montgomery and Benedict Arnold at Quebec. Montgomery was 
 killed in the battle. 
1857 Britain's Queen Victoria decided to make Ottawa the capital 
 of Canada. 
1879 Thomas Edison gave his first public demonstration of 
 incandescent lighting to an audience in Menlo Park, NJ. 
1891 New York's new Immigration Depot was opened at Ellis 
 Island, to provide improved facilities for the massive numbers 
 of arrivals. 
1923 In London, the BBC first broadcast the chimes of Big Ben. 
1929 Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians played "Auld Lang Syne" 
 as a New Year's Eve song for the first time. 
1946 U.S. President Truman officially proclaimed the end of 
 hostilities in World War II. 
1955 General Motors became the first U.S. corporation to earn 
 more than one billion dollars in a single year. 
1960 The farthing coin, which had been in use in Great Britain 
 since the 13th century, ceased to be legal tender. 
1974 Private U.S. citizens were allowed to buy and own gold 
 for the first time in more than 40 years. 
1978 Taiwanese diplomats struck their colors for the final 
 time from the embassy flagpole in Washington, DC. The event 
 marked the end of diplomatic relations with the U.S. 
1979 At year end oil prices were 88% higher than at the start 
 of 1979. 
1986 A fire at the Dupont Plaza Hotel in San Juan, Puerto Rico, 
 killed 97 and injured 140 people. Three hotel workers later 
 pled guilty to charges in connection with the fire. 
1999 Russian President Boris Yeltsin resigned. Prime Minister 
 Vladimir Putin was designated acting president. 
1999 Five hijackers left the airport where they had been holding 
 150 hostages on an Indian Airlines plane. They left with two 
 Islamic clerics that they had demanded be freed from an Indian 
 prison. The plane had been hijacked during a flight from Katmandu, 
 Nepal to New Dehli on December 24. 
1999 Sarah Knauss died at the age of 119 years. She was the world's 
 oldest person. She was born September 24, 1880. 
2004 In Taiwan, the Taipei 101 skyscraper opened to the public. 
2015  smiled.


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Problem installing screensavers 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, December 30

Thank you, Lillemor and Gene!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Wisconsin reading teacher arrested for having sex with her 16-year-old student 12 times at high school Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 27, in 1853 The United States bought about 45,000 square miles of land from Mexico in a deal known as the Gadsden Purchase. History ______________________________________________________ If the fans don't wanna come out to the ballpark, no one can stop 'em. --- Yogi Berra (1925 - ) Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. --- George Carlin (1937 - 2008) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Here is part of the log from the Tech Support Pits 20 years ago: CALLER: How come I get your Humor Letter a whole bunch of times every day ? DearWebby: How many different addresses do you have? CALLER: Oh, I got lots! DearWebby: Well, Ma'am, when somebody likes you, they might give you a gift subscription to the Humor Letter, and naturally they would give it to you at the address they normally use to write to you. You can do the same. CALLER: That is tooo COOL! You mean, the more gift subscriptions I get, the more friends I have ? DearWebby: Yes, and it also reminds you of how many addresses you have. CALLER: That is tooo COOL! I love this stuff! DearWebby: If you like somebody, you can give them a gift subscription. It's free. CALLER: How do I do that ? DearWebby: There is a link for that at the bottom of the Humor Letter. CALLER: That is tooo COOL! I can get even more friends that way! They will probably get me a new gift subscription too if I use a different address for each of them. That is tooo COOL! .....But, ....do I have to read each of them when I get so many? DearWebby: No, not really. Just read those from your best friends and imagine they are reading it to you. CALLER: That is tooo COOL! You are cool! Thanks! ---------- Nowadays if you give somebody a gift subscription, they have to approve. If they don't, they won't get one. ______________________________________________________ A young woman was suffering badly from hay fever. She was going to a fancy dinner party that night and figured she would need at least two handkerchiefs to get her through the evening. She didn't have any pockets, so she stuffed them both in her bra. Halfway through the night, she had already used up one handkerchief and was rummaging around in her bra for the other one. She was having trouble finding it, and soon she noticed that everyone at the table was looking at her. "What on earth are you doing?" asked one of her colleagues. She replied, "I could have sworn I had two when I arrived!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by Walter, the Stonecarver.com An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by April Novak, 30, Menomonee Falls, Wisconsin
Wisconsin reading teacher arrested for having sex with her 16-year-old student 12 times at high school A Milwaukee-area high school reading teacher had sex with a 16-year-old male student in her classroom a dozen times, officials said. April Novak, 30, was charged with 12 felony counts of sexual assault of a student by school staff Tuesday, a day after her husband filed for divorce, according to court documents cited by the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. Novak resigned from her job as a reading interventionist at Menomonee Falls High School after police opened an investigation earlier this month, officials with the School District of Menomonee Falls said. April Novak, 30, is charged with 12 felony counts of sexual assault of a student by school staff. Another teacher at the school alerted school administrators Dec. 11, after seeing Novak and the teen embracing and possibly kissing in her classroom, according to her arresting documents. Investigators believe the pair shared intercourse and oral sex on school grounds starting in the middle of October. Novak told detectives she understood the teen was underage but said they had “very strong feelings for each other,” the documents said. Police said she and the teen had agreed to keep their relationship a secret. Novak, who started working at the school in August 2013, was incarcerated on a $100,000 bail, according to the Journal Sentinel. She’ll face up to six years behind bars and a fine of up to $10,000 for each count of sexual assault if she’s convicted.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: DJ Re: Can't install screensaver Dear Webby, I have windows7 and my screen saver will open but I can't installl any saver.any clue? DJ Dear DJ That is probably good. Almost all screen savers nowadays have some adware or malware attached. Just use the built in slide show screen saver, and let it cycle through your vast stash of well dressed ladies, ahem I mean nuns and prayers. That is safe, and easier on your eyes anyway. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Having trouble with the doctor's notes on an emergency case which read, "Shot in the lumbar region," the new girl was flustered and at her wit's end. At last she thought she had it figured out and brightened up as she typed up the record, "Wounded in the woods." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Shop Vac to Defrost a Box Freezer I use a clean shop vac to remove all the water that melts when I defrost our large box freezer. The shop vac is quick and gets into corners where I can't reach. All I have to do then is dry the freezer and replace the food. Source: I thought of this when I was in a hurry and the freezer needed defrosting. By Iluv2nit [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ One night while Sue was cat-sitting her daughter's indoor feline, it escaped outside. When it failed to return the following morning, Sue found the beast clinging to a branch about 30 feet up in a spindly tree. Unable to lure it down, she called the fire department. "We don't do that anymore," the woman dispatcher said. When Sue persisted, she was polite but firm. "The cat will come down when it gets hungry enough." How do you know that?" I asked. "Have you ever seen a cat skeleton in a tree?" she said. Two hours later the cat was back, looking for breakfast. ___________________________________________________
Instagram husband (for the record, this was shot in Springfield, Missouri, and David was in Skinny Improv with this guy - 4,000,000+ views in one day!)
____________________________________________________ The CEO was scheduled to give the keynote address at an important convention so he asked one of his top employees to write a punchy, 20 minute speech for him. When the CEO returned from the big event, he was furious. "What's the idea of writing me an hour long speech?!" he demanded. "Half the audience walked out before I was finished." George was baffled. "I wrote you a 20 minute speech," he replied. I also gave you the two extra copies you asked for." ____________________________________________________ Mrs. Jones was reading a letter at breakfast. Suddenly she looked up suspiciously at her husband. "Henry," she said, "I've just received a letter from mother saying she isn't accepting our invitation to come and stay, as we do not appear to want her. What does she mean by that? I told you to write and say that she was to come at her own convenience. You did write, didn't you?" "Er, yes, I did," said the husband. "But I couldn't spell convenience, so I made it risk." ____________________________________________________
This Golden Eagle bit off more than he could chew.

Today, December 30, in
1460 At the Battle of Wakefield, in England's Wars of the 
 Roses, the Duke of York was defeated and killed by the 
 Lancastrians. 
1853 The United States bought about 45,000 square miles of 
 land from Mexico in a deal known as the Gadsden Purchase. 
1880 The Transvaal was declared a republic. Paul Kruger became 
 its first president. 
1887 A petition to Queen Victoria with over one million names 
 of women appealing for public houses to be closed on Sundays 
 was handed to the home secretary. 
1903 About 600 people died when fire broke out at the Iroquois 
 Theater in Chicago, IL. 
1922 The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics (USSR) was formed. 
1924 Edwin Hubble announced the existence of other galactic systems. 
1927 The first subway in the Orient was dedicated in Tokyo, Japan. 
1935 Italian bombers destroyed a Sweedish Red Cross unit in Ethiopia. 
1936 The United Auto Workers union staged its first sit-down strike, 
 at the Fisher Body Plant in Flint, MI. 
1940 California's first freeway was officially opened. It was the 
 Arroyo Seco Parkway connecting Los Angeles and Pasadena. 
1944 King George II of Greece proclaimed a regency to rule his 
 country, virtually renouncing the throne. 
1947 King Michael of Romania abdicated in favor of a Communist 
 Republic. He claimed he was forced from his throne. 
1953 The first color TV sets went on sale for about $1,175. 
1972 The United States halted its heavy bombing of North Vietnam. 
1993 Israel and the Vatican established diplomatic relations. 
1996 A passenger train was bombed by Bodo separatists in India's 
 eastern state of Assam. At least 26 people were killed and dozens 
 were seriously injured. 
1996 About 250,000 striking workers shut down vital services 
 across Israel in protests against budget cuts proposed by Prime 
 Minister Netanyahu. 
1997 More than 400 people were massacred in four villages in the 
 single worst incident during Algeria's insurgency.
2015  smiled.


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Block all Nigerian emails 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, December 29

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Virginia woman was arrested after being reported as dead by child Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 27, in 1170 St. Thomas à Becket, the 40th archbishop of Canterbury, was murdered in his own cathedral by four knights acting on Henry II's orders. History ______________________________________________________ We are the people our parents warned us about. --- Jimmy Buffett Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-- I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. --- Robert Frost (1874 - 1963), ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Peter: According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he's really attractive, is it all right to come out directly and ask him if he's married? Rose Marie: No, wait until morning. -------------------------- Peter: Why do Hell's Angels wear leather? Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily. ______________________________________________________ Q: When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his tail. What will a goose do? A: Make him bark? ______________________________________________________ I used to feature that picture as "Alaskans praying for spring". Now Moe corrected me. It's a new Alaskan sect. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by Walter, the Stonecarver.com An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jennifer Lee Patrick, 32, Crimora, Virginia
Virginia woman was arrested after being reported as dead by child A Crimora woman is facing a felony charge for assault and battery of a police officer after officials say she received treatment for taking "several" prescription drugs. First responders found Jennifer Lee Patrick, 32, at a carwash after her 5-year-old son walked into a Waynesboro restaurant and told the customers there he thought she was dead. Waynesboro police say the boy had walked from Pinky’s Car Wash, 105 East Ave., to Weise’s Kitchen, 130 East Broad St., on Tuesday seeking help for his mother who was in a vehicle with his 6-year-old brother. When found, Patrick was unconscious but alive. The Waynesboro First Aid Crew revived Patrick, who was "highly impaired and incoherent," said Waynesboro Police Sgt. Brian Edwards Patrick allegedly told police she had taken several prescription pills. An officer arrested Patrick after notifying child protective services, charging her with misdemeanor public intoxication and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. The children were released into the care of their father. The officer then took Patrick to Augusta Health to be evaluated, but while waiting to be examined she “became difficult to manage,” kicking the officer and attempting to free herself from custody, Edwards said. According to a press release, medical personnel later examined and discharged Patrick from Augusta Health. “While the officer was escorting Patrick to his police car, Patrick continued to flail, causing her pants to fall down,” Edwards said. “She also grabbed the officer’s Taser and tried to un-holster it.” The officer attempted to stun the woman with the Taser, which Edwards said had no effect on the woman, causing the officer to use physical force to gain control of Patrick and place her in his vehicle. Patrick was charged with felony assault and battery of a law enforcement officer and a misdemeanor charge of obstruction of justice following the incident at Augusta Health, Edwards said.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Paul Re: Block Nigeria? Dear Webby, Would it be a good idea to block any mail, that mentions Nigeria? Pauline Dear Pauline It would be easy to do, but is not a good idea. If you do that, and your daughter sends you an email telling you about a Nigerian scam mail, it would getr blocked too. And similar scams, that don't mention Nigeria, would get through. It is much safer to tell Mailwasher to flag mails, that contain ".doc" and ".docx", for deleting. If they are just flagged for deleting, you still hav a chance to let them through if they are legit. It COULD happen that a friend sends you an email that contains Gramma's experiments with Microsoft Word. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ The band class was just getting under way when a large insect flew into the room. The sixth-graders, eager to play their shiny new instruments, tried to ignore the buzzing intruder, but eventually one student, Tommy, could stand it no more. He rolled up his music book and swatted the insect, then he stomped on it to ensure its fate. "Is it a bee?" another student asked. "Nope," Tommy replied. "Bee flat." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Key Wind Chime Take some old keys from long forgotten or lost padlocks, wrecked and binned suitcases, your granny's replaced wooden front door, and the key to untold riches which never quite fitted the lock and make them bright and colorful. Tie them and hang them to make beautiful music when the cold windy weather would otherwise make you miserable. Supplies: an old stick, twig of a tree, a pencil, or a chopstick gorgeous ribbons and braids acrylic paint and a brush or nail varnish/polish Steps: Paint your keys. Nail varnish will work better than acrylic paint. You will need much patience waiting for several coats to dry. See how I have recycled breakfast cereal packaging to protect my work surface. This has a feel good effect even if it doesn't do much to save the planet. Tie ribbons and braids to the keys Tie the other ends to your stick I used a spent raspberry cane which worked nicely. Tie a final cord for hanging Dangle and enjoy. By ShirleyE [47] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A firefighter is at the station house working outside on the fire truck when he notices a little girl next door. The little girl is in a little Red wagon with little ladders hung off the side. She is wearing a Firefighter's hat and has the wagon tied to a dog. The firefighter says, "Hey, little girl, whatcha doing?" The little girl says, "I'm pretending to be a firefighter, and this is my fire truck!" The firefighter walks over to take a closer look. "Little girl, that sure is a nice fire truck!" the firefighter says. "Thanks, mister," says the little girl. The firefighter looks a little closer and notices the little girl has tied the tow rope to the dog's collar and the rein to the dog's testicles. "Little girl," says the firefighter, "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that second rope around the dog's neck, I think you could go faster." The little girl says, "You're probably right, mister, but then I wouldn't have a siren!" ___________________________________________________
cat nurses ducklings
____________________________________________________ A man walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the end of it. She is so beautiful he cannot take his mind off her, so he calls the bartender over and says, "Take that woman a drink on me." The bartender says, "It won't work." "What do you mean, it won't work?" "That woman," says the barkeep, "is a hard-hearted bitch. You won't get nowhere with her - nobody does!" "Okay," says the guy. "How about this: you got any Spanish fly?" "Spanish fly? No," says the bartender, "I've got Jewish Fly." "So, what the heck is Jewish fly?" "I don't know; I've never used it. You want to give it a try?" "Yes," says the guy, and the next chance he gets, on his way to the men's room, he reaches behind her back and drops the stuff in the woman's drink. Nothing happens for a long time, but then all of a sudden he feels her body close against his, and her voice is whispering hotly in his ear, and she's saying "I can't stand it anymore! .......You excite me so much... take me shopping!" ____________________________________________________ A young officer is working late at the Pentagon one evening. As he comes out of his office about 8pm he sees a General standing by the classified document shredder in the hallway, a piece of paper in his hand. "Do you know how to work this thing?" the General asks. "My secretary's gone home and I don't know how to run it." "Yes, sir," says the young officer, who turns on the machine, takes the paper from the General, and feeds it in. (PAUSE) "Now," says the General, "I just need one copy." ____________________________________________________
Amazing haircuts for horses.

Today, December 29, in
1170 St. Thomas à Becket, the 40th archbishop of Canterbury, 
 was murdered in his own cathedral by four knights acting on 
 Henry II's orders. 
1812 The USS Constitution won a battle with the British ship 
 HMS Java about 30 miles off the coast of Brazil. Before 
 Commodore William Bainbridge ordered the sinking of the 
 Java he had her wheel removed to replace the one the 
 Constitution had lost during the battle. 
1813 The British burned Buffalo, NY, during the War of 1812. 
1837 Canadian militiamen destroyed the Caroline, a U.S. 
 steamboat docked at Buffalo, NY. 
1848 U.S. President James Polk turned on the first gas light 
 at the White House. 
1860 The HMS Warrior, Britain's first seagoing iron-hulled 
 warship, was launched. 
1888 The first performance of Macbeth took place at the 
 Lyceum Theatre. 
1890 The U.S. Seventh Cavalry massacred over 400 unarmed men, 
 women and children at Wounded Knee Creek, SD. after they had 
 been persuaded to hand over all weapons. This was the last 
 major battle between Indians and U.S. troops. 
1911 Sun Yat-sen became the first president of a 
 Republican China. 
1940 During World War II, Germany began dropping incendiary 
 bombs on London. 
1945 Sheb Wooley recorded the first commercial record made in 
 Nashville, TN. 
1952 The first transistorized hearing aid was offered for sale 
 by Sonotone Corporation. 
1975 A bomb exploded in the main terminal of New York's 
 LaGuardia Airport. 11 people were killed. 
1986 The Biltmore Hotel in Coral Gables, FL, reopened for business 
 after eighteen years and $47 million expended on restoration. 
1989 Following Hong Kong's decision to forcibly repatriate some 
 Vietnamese refugees, thousands of Vietnamese 'boat people' 
 battled with riot police. 
1996 The Guatemalan government and leaders of the leftist Guatemalan 
 National Revolutionary Union signed a peace accord in Guatemala 
 City, ending a civil war that had lasted 36 years. 
1997 Hong Kong began killing 1.25 million chickens, the entire 
 population, for fear of the spread of 'bird flu.' 
1998 Khmer Rouge leaders apologized for the 1970s genocide in 
 Cambodia that claimed 1 million lives. 
2015  smiled.


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FedEx emails 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Moday, December 28

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Naked burglar hits home owner's friend with getaway vehicle Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 27, in 1065 Westminster Abbey was consecrated under Edward the Confessor. (14 years after Hagar, the Horrible's Grandfather started a colony in Newfoundland, Canada) History ______________________________________________________ It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare. It is because we do not dare that things are difficult. --- Seneca In politics you must always keep running with the pack. The moment that you falter and they sense that you are injured, the rest will turn on you like wolves. --- R. A. Butler (1902 - 1982) ----------- The same applies if you pull ahead of the pack. ______________________________________________________ An elderly couple would constantly argue about everything. The woman often ended the arguments by stating vociferously, “I'll dance on your grave ... I'll dance on your grave!” Sure enough, the man died first. His last request? … To be buried at sea. ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Last summer, John took Jill camping for the first time. At every opportunity, he passed along outdoor-survival lore. One day they got lost hiking in the deep woods. John tried the usual tactics to determine direction - moss on the trees (There was no moss.), direction of the sun (It was an overcast day). Just as he was beginning to panic, John spotted a small cabin off in the distance. John pulled out his binoculars, studied the cabin, turned, and led them right back to the campsite. "That was terrific," Jill said. "How did you do it?" "Simple," he replied. "In this part of the country all satellite dishes point south." ______________________________________________________ There was a gentleman in the hospital bed next to me. He was covered with bandages from head to toe. I said to him, "What do you do for a living?" He said, "I'm a former window washer." I asked, "When did you give it up?" He said, "Oh, about halfway down." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Adam Pettibone, 28, Auburn, California
Naked burglar hits home owner's friend with getaway vehicle Police in California are trying to determine why a man was naked in frigid temperatures when he entered a home and stole a purse. Auburn police say the homeowner's boyfriend then chased 28-year-old Adam Pettibone on Friday night before Pettibone got into an SUV and drove off. Sgt. Tucker Huey says Pettibone struck the boyfriend with the SUV. The boyfriend declined medical treatment. Auburn is about 30 miles northeast of Sacramento. The temperature dipped into the 30s Friday. Police say they found the SUV a short distance away in front of a home where Pettibone was. They booked him at Placer County Jail on suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon and burglary. He is being held on $250,000 bail.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Estelle Re: FedEx Dear Webby, I got this email from FedEx Express, with an attachment. I am forwarding it to you. Is it safe to open? At the bottom it has: This email is free from viruses and malware because avast! Antivirus protection is active. https://www.avast.com/antivirus FedEx Express®.docx FedEx Express®.docx Estelle Dear Estelle MailWasher dumped your email. Apparently it objected to the crap in the phony doc, and possibly also to the fact, that the email came from Nigeria. I had a good laugh about it: Dispatched Officer: Mr. Bob Morris E-mail: fe.dexdispatchservice@hotmail.com Contact Phone number: (+234 8022378598) The real fedEx does not use a +234 phone number. They use a 1- 800 number. And they most defiitely don't use a ho'mail address. The FROM address claims to be From: "FedEx Express®" Hilarious! And they want you to send them $180 ! And they don't even use your name, just "Customer" ! The line about Avast is totally phony too. Anybody can add that to an email. Carefully delete the attached docx file, and dump that email. If you click on that docx file, it will most likely unleash a virus hidden in macros. Just delete it, and then delete it out of the Recycle bin, so that it can never be restored. In the future, if you see an email from Nigeria or thereabouts, promising ridiculous amounts of money and requesting money from you, dump it. The same goes for doc and docx attachments. Dump them. If a friend sends an email with a doc or docx attachment, question them why, and tell them, if the content is clean and does not require a virus carrier, to just paste it into email, just like the grown-ups do. Eventually they will get the hint. If they want to create a special song and dance with their info, tell them to lock it in a PDF file. PDF is fairly safe, and hopefully, they will get the hint, that anything other than regular email is not appreciated. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ "Get this." said a guy to his friends, "Last night, while I was down here at the bar with you guys, a burglar broke into my house. "Did he get anything?" his friends asked. "Yeah, a broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken ribs. Susan thought it was me coming home drunk." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Key Wind Chime Take some old keys from long forgotten or lost padlocks, wrecked and binned suitcases, your granny's replaced wooden front door, and the key to untold riches which never quite fitted the lock and make them bright and colorful. Tie them and hang them to make beautiful music when the cold windy weather would otherwise make you miserable. Supplies: an old stick, twig of a tree, a pencil, or a chopstick gorgeous ribbons and braids acrylic paint and a brush or nail varnish/polish Steps: Paint your keys. Nail varnish will work better than acrylic paint. You will need much patience waiting for several coats to dry. See how I have recycled breakfast cereal packaging to protect my work surface. This has a feel good effect even if it doesn't do much to save the planet. Tie ribbons and braids to the keys Tie the other ends to your stick I used a spent raspberry cane which worked nicely. Tie a final cord for hanging Dangle and enjoy. By ShirleyE [47] If you want a louder and deeper sound, use the empty cores of Christmas wrapping. Make a trough by draping clear plastic between two 2x4's or any boards or books, so that a core can be partially immersed in the trough, after you dump some flour and water glue, or varnish or paint into the trough. You don't have to immerse the whole roll, a quarter of it is enough. Just roll it to wet all of it, then hang it up to dry overnight. After weatherproofing it like that, you can paint it white or chrome and then fake a candy-apple coat by mixing a bit of color with varnish. Hang your tubes with dental-floss and enjoy a deep, relaxing bass wind chime. You can, of course, tune the tubes by shortening some of them. Don't bother using a tuning fork. Just a small difference will make a pleasant melody. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Bob and Nancy had a huge argument. They ended up not talking to each other for days. Finally, on the third day, Bob asked where one of his shirts was. "Oh," she said, "now you're speaking to me." He looked confused, "What are you talking about?" "Haven't you noticed I haven't spoken to you for three days?" she challenged. "No," he said, "I just, thought you were finished with arguing and we were getting along again." ___________________________________________________
peacock spider
____________________________________________________ A couple had been married for 45 years and had raised a brood of 11 children and were blessed with 22 grandchildren. When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies, "Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids." ____________________________________________________ A son comes home from the Army. After a few hours, he finally gets to talk to his father alone behind the barn. "So, son, what did the Army teach you?" asked the father. "Well, they taught me how to kill people," said the son. "With what?" asked father. "We used all kinds of things, like guns and knives, but my favorite was the grenade," said the son. "What's a grenade?" asked the father. "Well, I brought one home to show you. You just pull this pin out and throw it as far as you can," said the son. The son proceeded to give a demonstration. Lo and behold, the son throws the grenade on top of the outhouse. KABOOM!!! The outhouse is demolished. All the lumber and everything else lands in a heap in the yard. Grandpa sticks his head out of the pile and says, 'Whew, glad I didn't let THAT one loose in the house!"' ____________________________________________________
Fascinating light painting photography.

Today, December 28, in
1065 Westminster Abbey was consecrated under Edward the Confessor.
 (14 years after Hagar, the Horrible's Grandfather started a 
 colony in Newfoundland, Canada)
1694 Queen Mary II of England died after five years of joint rule 
 with her husband, King William III. 
1732 "The Pennsylvania Gazette," owned by Benjamin Franklin, ran 
 an ad for the first issue of "Poor Richard’s Almanack." 
1836 Mexico's independence was recognized by Spain. 
1869 William E. Semple, of Mt. Vernon, OH, patented an acceptable 
 chewing gum. 
1877 John Stevens applied for a patent for his flour-rolling mill, 
 which boosted production by 70%. 
1879 In Dundee, Scotland the central portion of the Tay Bridge 
 collapsed as a train was passing over it. 75 people were killed. 
1895 In Paris, the first commercial public screening of 
 cinematographic films took place. 
1897 "Cyrano de Bergerac," the play by Edmond Rostand, premiered 
 in Paris, France. 
1902 The first professional indoor football game was played at 
 Madison Square Garden in New York City. Syracuse defeated the 
 Philadelphia Nationals 6-0. 
1908 An earthquake killed over 75,000 at Messina in Sicily. 
1912 The first municipally-owned street cars were used on the 
 streets of San Francisco, CA. 
1917 The New York Evening Mail published a facetious essay by 
 H.L. Mencken on the history of bathtubs in America. 
1926 The highest recorded cricket innings score of 1,107 runs 
 was hit by Victoria, against New South Wales, in Melbourne. 
1937 The Irish Free State became the Republic of Ireland when 
 a new constitution established the country as a sovereign 
 state under the name of Eire. 
1945 The U.S. Congress officially recognized the 
 "Pledge of Allegiance." 
1964 Initial filming of the movie "Dr. Zhivago" began on 
 location near Madrid, Spain. The movies total running time 
 is 197 minutes. 
1973 The Chamber of Commerce of Akron, OH, terminated its 
 association with the All-American Soap Box Derby. It was 
 stated that the race had become "a victim of cheating and fraud." 
1973 Alexander Solzhenitsyn published "Gulag Archipelago," 
 an expose of the Soviet prison system. 
1981 Elizabeth Jordan Carr, the first American test-tube baby, 
 was born in Norfolk, VA. 
1982 Nevell Johnson Jr. was mortally wounded by a police officer in 
 a Miami video arcade. The event set off three days of race related 
 disturbances that left another man dead. 
1989 Alexander Dubcek, who had been expelled from the Communist 
 Party in 1970, was elected speaker of the Czech parliament. 
1991 Nine people died in a rush to get into a basketball game at 
 City College in New York. 
1995 Pressure from German prosecutors investigating pornography 
 forced CompuServe to set a precedent by blocking access to sex-
 oriented newsgroups on the Internet for its customers. 
2000 U.S. District Court Judge Matsch held a hearing to ensure 
 that confessed Oklahoma City bomber Timothy McVeigh understood 
 that he was dropping his appeals. McVeigh said that he wanted 
 an execution date set, but wanted to reserve the right to seek 
 presidential clemency. 
2015  smiled.


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